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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast,

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Speaker 1: Firm Presents Minute Morning Show. And here we go, you know,

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Speaker 1: cheers to the fifteen minute Morning Show podcast. And as usual,

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Speaker 1: I'm the only one drinking. So here we go. There's

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Speaker 1: Scary and there's Danielle, and I see Gandhi and Nate

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Speaker 1: and Scotty b and uh there's Garrett and me I

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Speaker 1: guess and whoever drops by. I mean it's always open

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Speaker 1: for guests. Who's walking around out in the big good

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Speaker 1: studios and walking around a second ago? Alright, Fritz one

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Speaker 1: of the engineering team members. Of course, Dianna is on

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Speaker 1: the camera. Hi, Diana Banana, I miss you, all right,

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Speaker 1: So where do we start? How do we start today's

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Speaker 1: fifteen minute morning show podcast? Any ideas? Okay, dad jokes?

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Speaker 1: We go? I saw a good one, but I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I can say it. I think you can.

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Speaker 1: Of course. It's easy for me to say because you're

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Speaker 1: going to say it. Okay, why did six stay away

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Speaker 1: from seven? Why? Why? I mean you guys have always

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Speaker 1: heard this right, because because seven was a sex offender? Okay,

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Speaker 1: very smart, but I mean you could have said anything there.

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Speaker 1: I saw that one. It made me laugh. So but

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Speaker 1: what else could you say? I mean, that's seven, was

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Speaker 1: a murderer. I mean it could have been anything. That's

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Speaker 1: not funny. Are you ruining it? Why not? Just doesn't

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Speaker 1: have to be a sex offender. But we stand next

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Speaker 1: to a murderer every day. But if, oddly, if defenders,

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Speaker 1: maybe it was a sex offender, we wouldn't hang out

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Speaker 1: with him, by the way, that joke would not be funny.

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Speaker 1: If well, you call scary at sex offenders sometimes no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: not a sex offender. But you say he has a

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Speaker 1: white van soundproof? There was in my life where I

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Speaker 1: like to date younger women. I still do. She's younger

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Speaker 1: than you. Didn't You didn't have to say anything. Remember

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Speaker 1: when you were going to go to the bar with

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Speaker 1: Greg T's daughter. Oh my god, what that was yesterday?

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Speaker 1: Tell me, no, no, no, no. I just said that

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Speaker 1: when Kydan Froggy's son turns twenty one, I'm gonna take

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Speaker 1: him to kick you on the river. That's all. That's

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Speaker 1: all I said. I said, it's awkward for me to

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Speaker 1: hang out. So now you're in the twenty one year

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Speaker 1: old boys. Elvis, he's not one yet, I know, my god,

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Speaker 1: but scary is preparing and planning. He's grooming. I was

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Speaker 1: you married younger? You didn't, right, I didn't. He was

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Speaker 1: way over twenty one years old. But I will take

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Speaker 1: my kermit the frog. Keith, what do you mean? Are

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Speaker 1: you trying to bring me into your assholo life? About this?

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Speaker 1: Was got But Elvis, you man at younger. People associate

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Speaker 1: white vans with underage. I'm never never ever dated under age.

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Speaker 1: So you had a white van though now he had

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Speaker 1: a blue van. It was a blue van. Can we

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Speaker 1: talk about this tomorrow on the show? Can you hold

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Speaker 1: a white van and you get shipped for it? Sundproof

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Speaker 1: with shad carpet? Like my friend Dustin he had a

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Speaker 1: white van because he did events and stuff and he

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Speaker 1: would pick dates up and they would see this white

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Speaker 1: van roll up and they're like, no fucking way our cars?

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Speaker 1: Hey man, can I borrow your car? I've got a date.

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Speaker 1: So then I'm left driving the white van for the day,

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Speaker 1: the econo line windows because he did events and ship

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Speaker 1: but there was his car as he did. All right,

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Speaker 1: Well there's the white van conversation following a nice dad joke,

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Speaker 1: I'm just keeping score of the show. What else? What? What

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Speaker 1: What I mean, when I was a kid, we got

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Speaker 1: a memo from the school about the man in the

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Speaker 1: black van. So I'm not sure if the color has

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Speaker 1: changed over the years. I thought it was always white. Well,

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Speaker 1: I remember getting I remember getting the memo from school.

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Speaker 1: How did you get me? I was an elementary school.

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Speaker 1: The memos went home to the house, Boomer, and there

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Speaker 1: was a guy. There was a man. There was a

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Speaker 1: man in a black van we were all supposed to

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Speaker 1: look out for because he tried to snatch a kid.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, that's scary. This is why it can't be apparent. Yes,

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Speaker 1: he said the word snatch, grapy, kidnap, abduct, snatch is

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Speaker 1: totally acceptable. You can word let's all say the word snatch, Harry,

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Speaker 1: you see, that's what folks it up. You can't say

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Speaker 1: a hair, and that's not right. No one meant that.

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Speaker 1: Now you make us look like, you know what Scotty

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Speaker 1: looks like, and it's very appropriate. That room. I figured

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Speaker 1: it out that room Scotty is in right now. He

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Speaker 1: looks like he's in a police interrogation room. And after

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Speaker 1: today's show, I think he should be probably, But my

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Speaker 1: favorite is like he yells at us for saying like

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Speaker 1: that he's not a weirdo, that he's you know, not inappropriate.

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Speaker 1: And then he comes out which it like that, but

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Speaker 1: you all were thinking it. That's why we had to normalize. No.

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Speaker 1: He railroads us every single fifteen minute morning show podcast.

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Speaker 1: Like yesterday, he started the podcast and his first worms

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Speaker 1: out of his mouth was like the word diarrhea. We

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Speaker 1: had to start over. Yesterday we started the story. It

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Speaker 1: was I had a question, No you right away we're

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Speaker 1: talking about Danielle. Danielle, why did you have to restart

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Speaker 1: the okay, because we started the podcast and then it

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Speaker 1: comes out of his mouth that we didn't know what

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Speaker 1: to talk about. So he goes, I got a question

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Speaker 1: and it was about splattered diarrhea was so disgusting, and

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Speaker 1: I said, Elvis is not going to like this from

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Speaker 1: his dog. By the thing, we need to start over.

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Speaker 1: So we started. Credit to Danielle. Well, Elvis, you can

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Speaker 1: answer the question because you're a dog owner. What I

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Speaker 1: voted that we have scott all of his ideas to

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Speaker 1: us and right, okay, do not voice Look, you have

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Speaker 1: to admit Scotty does say some very very fun and

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Speaker 1: entertaining things very much to keep in mind. If you're

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Speaker 1: going to allow him to say whatever it comes out

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Speaker 1: of his mouth and you're gonna get a couple of duds.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that should have been restarted yesterday. My

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Speaker 1: question should have been answered, Well, you could have phrased

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Speaker 1: it differently, said, how did he phrase it? Okay, so

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Speaker 1: the way he phrased it was to the dog owners.

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Speaker 1: If your dog has really liquidly splattery diarrhea everywhere, do

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Speaker 1: you fake pick it up? Or what do you do?

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Speaker 1: But you could have just said, if your dog has

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Speaker 1: to go to the bathroom and kind of makes a

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Speaker 1: mess that you couldn't grab with a chunk, kind of mess,

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Speaker 1: maybe it was vomit. Even if it's vomit or diarrhea,

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Speaker 1: it's like the same consistency, isn't it pick it up vomito?

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Speaker 1: I don't see why we had to start over, because

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Speaker 1: no one wants to hear this. If you know what said,

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Speaker 1: people do want to hear it. Scare me, but doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean we have to give it to them. It doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean we have to play into their nasty, gnarly and

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Speaker 1: the mare. Look at Scotty, it looks like he's been

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Speaker 1: already arrested and detained and he's waiting for serious He's

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Speaker 1: in an interrogation room. Can I get something from my

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Speaker 1: My daughter wanted to make me a serial killer's flag

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Speaker 1: for the wall, Like, can I get something? Or am

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Speaker 1: I not allowed to? We need to we need to

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Speaker 1: have that approved. We really do that. I'm not I'm

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Speaker 1: not kidding. When he is freaking out in that room.

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Speaker 1: There's a bit of like an asylum vibe to it too. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's asylum. I feel like you keep telling us. I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna answer that. I'm waiting for my attorney to

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Speaker 1: show up. And you know it's funny Elvis Watch. So

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Speaker 1: there's a window in front of Scotty, so it's like

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Speaker 1: we're at SVU and we're on the other side of

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Speaker 1: the glass, like watch interrogating him the right. You know

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Speaker 1: what we ought to do. You have to do the

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Speaker 1: lines on the back wall that let's show how high,

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Speaker 1: how tall he is, so we can do a lineup.

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Speaker 1: I'll go steal it from the seven eleven later in

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Speaker 1: the wall. Yeah, Scotty, here's too much. I'm talking like

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Speaker 1: we should get we should get five idiots in here

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Speaker 1: and it'll look like a lineup. That's exactly what it looks. Well,

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Speaker 1: we have an overabundance of those, so that shouldn't take

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Speaker 1: too long to get that started. You know what, I

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Speaker 1: saw a lot of if Scotty Be, or as a

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Speaker 1: lot of textures called them today, hottie B when I

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Speaker 1: said I was interactive, which I am. I admitted, but

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Speaker 1: a lot of people it's the fact that you admit

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Speaker 1: it is the problem. Don't you understand that. Let's get

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Speaker 1: past that. A lot of people no, no, no no, no,

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Speaker 1: no no, we're not getting past anything. Can't you be

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Speaker 1: someone humble and just know that you're attractive? But when

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Speaker 1: you start saying I'm attractive and people like, no, you're

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Speaker 1: fucking ugly. Now, sudden stop it. I'm attractive. But a

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Speaker 1: lot of tex said double down, trouble down, trouble down.

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Speaker 1: A lot of textures like it need's okay, But boy,

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Speaker 1: that's one hottie B. They don't know me, you know what?

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Speaker 1: And what does Scotty Be not do that Nate does

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Speaker 1: all the time. He doesn't break. He never talked about

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Speaker 1: and I don't think I'm as hot as you, so

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Speaker 1: I would never say it, because you see that's what

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Speaker 1: he is, Hotter than you, Nate, But that's what a

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Speaker 1: hot guy would say. What do you just said? Well, okay,

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Speaker 1: and you listen. I'll be honest, Scottie. You know you're

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Speaker 1: looking pretty good these days. But I do have a

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Speaker 1: little mole on my penis. You know, every time you

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Speaker 1: say that I'm trying to help you. Here be his

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Speaker 1: mold on his penis. That's both moles and mold mold.

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Speaker 1: It's a mole or something. Yeah, just a little a

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Speaker 1: little mole that I was concerned about, that's all, you know.

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Speaker 1: Do you know that some listener, some listener dm me

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Speaker 1: and said, you know, that was a big violation of

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Speaker 1: hippo laws. They never should have yelled out your email

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Speaker 1: address in the lobby. I'm like, whatever, I mean, I

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Speaker 1: still the radio. By the way, hippo law is only

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Speaker 1: entail when medical professionals are talking to other medical professionals.

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Speaker 1: So like if if I was to say, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know, my my dad's sick with blah blah blah,

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Speaker 1: that's not a hippo law against my dad. That's if

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Speaker 1: a medical professional. I think that's the one misconception just

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Speaker 1: medical to medical because the doctor can't come tell me

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Speaker 1: what's wrong with Danielle. Correct. But but someone yelling out

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Speaker 1: Scotty B's address at a CBS isn't a hippo law.

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Speaker 1: Like if the doctor came out into the reception area

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Speaker 1: and said, oh, we found that fissure on your butt hole,

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Speaker 1: you know, while the whole there's all people there. I mean,

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Speaker 1: that's not only an embarrassment, but there has to be

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Speaker 1: something ethically wrong with that. Correct. But when people talk

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Speaker 1: about it, like if we talk about it in the

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Speaker 1: room right now amongst friends, that's not a hippo law.

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Speaker 1: That's okay. By the way, that's not accurate because there's

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Speaker 1: a managerial issue too in this company. If let's say

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Speaker 1: Nate starts talking about Gandhi calling in because she has

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Speaker 1: a fisser on her bottle, that that that that is

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Speaker 1: a law. I don't love it's hippo though, but it is.

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Speaker 1: It is a law of things. Were correct? Yeah? Well,

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Speaker 1: well no, no, it is. But people use hip all

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Speaker 1: the time. I'm like, oh, you're bringing hippo laws. If

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Speaker 1: we're talking among friends a hippo law, it's a hippo law.

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Speaker 1: You can't talk about hippo's. So there's that. What else there?

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Speaker 1: Nate Nate, Nate, don't talking at my health. I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to. I'm not going to. What I was going

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Speaker 1: to say is I think if anybody had a reality

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Speaker 1: show on our show, Scotty B would be so entertaining

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Speaker 1: to Yea, I agree. So I missed the boat though

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Speaker 1: because my kids were like really, I mean, they're still funny,

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Speaker 1: but they were really funny when they were little, and

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Speaker 1: I totally missed out on it. But what was like

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Speaker 1: you your idiosyncrasies, like you ever like single or something?

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Speaker 1: If that ever happened, God would that be? So? Can

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Speaker 1: you imagine dating Scotty B? Can you imagine what that

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Speaker 1: would be like? Can we get Scotty Be on the Bachelor?

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Speaker 1: If that ever happened. That's actually the name of a

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Speaker 1: great show, dating Scotty B. I would watch that, would

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Speaker 1: watch contestant. My craziness would just drive everybody away exactly

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Speaker 1: that people without a doubt, like, all this guy's hot

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Speaker 1: until you get to know, don't say anyways around me

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Speaker 1: otherwise you're out. I would love to see you. It

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Speaker 1: as California Pizza Kitchen paying with coupon. You know Kermit,

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Speaker 1: that Kermit Jiffy that he's like that is Scotty. Scott

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Speaker 1: will be. He just like watches people and freaks out

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Speaker 1: about what they're doing. And one of my favorite I

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Speaker 1: laughed so hard every time he says that if I

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Speaker 1: ever do anything even slightly incorrectly like tape a box away,

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Speaker 1: that he wouldn't like it. He's like, God, do you

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Speaker 1: know anything about life? And then he stopped, or if

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Speaker 1: he if he doesn't use he don't you know anything

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Speaker 1: about Lifeline? He'll say, you know nothing about love. I

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Speaker 1: tried to make that a new Year's resolution that would

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Speaker 1: not let little things bother me anymore, but it's just

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Speaker 1: really hard. And if you won't win a cereal bag

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Speaker 1: the wrong way, not the way, not the way, he

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Speaker 1: likes you to open the cereal back and if you

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Speaker 1: don't close, we're talking about its bags to be rolled down. Otherwise,

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Speaker 1: he tell me how to properly open and close the

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Speaker 1: cereal bag. Because I obviously was savage with you, I

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Speaker 1: get it. I mean I would, I would trust Scotty's

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Speaker 1: take on that he understands how to keep that serial

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Speaker 1: fresh longer people coming here like savages and just leave

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Speaker 1: the bag open and closed the box top that doesn't

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Speaker 1: work you're going to take care of it. You should

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Speaker 1: have seen him when I was trying to do insurance

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Speaker 1: stuff and I give him my n number. And but

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Speaker 1: that should bother everybody. That shouldn't only bother me. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't bother except for people who are anals. I'm trying

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Speaker 1: Danyelle the A T M machine after. That's just pure stupidity.

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Speaker 1: What little things? A little things? That's like we're saying,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go to the supermarket. Supermarket. You don't

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Speaker 1: say things twice? What time is your lawyer showing up?

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Speaker 1: Is this one? We we use Elvis's line, Hey, Scottie,

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Speaker 1: are you okay? I am okay. My blood pressure is

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Speaker 1: up now. And I didn't even do anything, But you

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Speaker 1: say you did want to get upset about little things.

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Speaker 1: But you're getting so upset about little things. But you

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Speaker 1: guys are doing it on purpose. Should get upset because

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Speaker 1: you shouldn't know it. You know we're here just dog

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Speaker 1: piling as we always do. Okay, go ahead, I won't

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be I won't gonna be fine with anything

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Speaker 1: you do. He's he's the most passive Chris. I don't

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Speaker 1: care anymore anymore anymore, maybe more smart. You sound like

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Speaker 1: the idiot, not me. Oh my lord, waited on time,

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Speaker 1: Oh God, please lord, But only a fourteen thirty and

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Speaker 1: this is the fifteen minute morning show, all the more

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Speaker 1: reason to get the hell out of here. We'll see

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Speaker 1: you later by by the fifteen minute morning Show