Speaker 1: Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Because you have
Speaker 1: that big ass fucking laptop on your lap.
Speaker 2: I got the biggest one possible.
Speaker 1: I know. That's what I'm like, why is it?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: What do you have it?
Speaker 2: Because there's some things on here that we need to
Speaker 2: talk Okay, yeah, there's some things on here that.
Speaker 1: Your search history. We're gonna go through it and talk
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: Honestly we could.
Speaker 1: Can I can I type something in and see what
Speaker 1: pops up?
Speaker 2: Let me do it first.
Speaker 1: Well, you don't know what I'm gonna look up? What
Speaker 1: are you looking up?
Speaker 2: Yeah? We're good looking up gay and looking up for
Speaker 2: Oh that site has been visited before.
Speaker 1: Wait, what's the link? I would like to read it?
Speaker 2: No, that's crazy. It just got it says huge in
Speaker 2: it though I can never and it's talking about breasts,
Speaker 2: big fucking knock.
Speaker 1: I'll never get over Bronson's us talking about Sirchistor and
Speaker 1: me being like, yeah, I hate when someone takes my
Speaker 1: phone because like the links will pop up, and then
Speaker 1: you were just like, why don't you use incognito? And
Speaker 1: that changed my life?
Speaker 2: You know what?
Speaker 1: And people because I never did that before.
Speaker 2: I don't know why I don't really use incognito because
Speaker 2: I'm not into damaging my brain, because porn is really
Speaker 2: damaging and like its conviction, and y'all all need fucking help.
Speaker 2: But you've never partaken that. But I can clock someone
Speaker 2: who is an avid porn viewer by opening their phone
Speaker 2: and gard as far and not even typing in a letter.
Speaker 2: But if it's incognito mode, they watch a lot of
Speaker 2: fucking porn because a lot of people just leave there,
Speaker 2: just use incognito mode as their search.
Speaker 1: They know somebody who does that. We both are very
Speaker 1: close to somebody who doesn't know and you know who?
Speaker 2: Oh I know? If you yeah, like you need to
Speaker 2: be slicker with the way you view your p word,
Speaker 2: well I.
Speaker 1: Just buy it analogue. I believe in consuming magazines and
Speaker 1: then looking at pictures and leaving the rest of my
Speaker 1: to my imagination. But I also do this thing where
Speaker 1: I just I make my own zines and there used
Speaker 1: to pictures of you when you're not looking, And then
Speaker 1: I look at those and I let my imagination room
Speaker 1: and I think of the nights we've spent.
Speaker 2: Are you using the shower camera?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Oh my god, how do you know?
Speaker 2: I installed it?
Speaker 1: I know but like I didn't know you knew I
Speaker 1: had access to it?
Speaker 2: Okay, whatever freaking me out right now, you're really scaring me.
Speaker 1: Why do you have this big fucking contraption on your lap?
Speaker 2: Okay, so I did.
Speaker 1: We should put a sticker over that.
Speaker 2: I know, I literally I literally thought about that, and
Speaker 2: I was like no, like Apple respect, like give me money,
Speaker 2: But I thought no, no, no. I got one of
Speaker 2: those ancestry ancestry DNA reports done. Yeah, I got one
Speaker 2: of those ancestry DNA reports done. Uh to find out
Speaker 2: like what I am obviously like I'm cracker, Like I'm
Speaker 2: literally one cracker, Like it's what it is, Like, it's okay,
Speaker 2: but what's up on top of that? I guy is
Speaker 2: like dying. But on top of that, I found out
Speaker 2: about this thing called Prometheas. I think that's how you
Speaker 2: say it. But you take the DNA data that ancestry
Speaker 2: dot com extracts and it you like you can download
Speaker 2: it as a text file and then you can upload
Speaker 2: that text and it's like, I mean, it's all of
Speaker 2: your DNA like all other exactly. It's crazy. But you
Speaker 2: can install it or you can upload it into prometheas.
Speaker 1: I got a few people I could do that test on,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because all.
Speaker 2: That spit was trapped in your crevices.
Speaker 1: Also, while you were talking, I had a moment where
Speaker 1: I was gonna butt in and make a really stupid joke,
Speaker 1: and then I bit the fuck out of my tongue
Speaker 1: because I was like, I shouldn't interrupt. Then you're explaining something,
Speaker 1: and then no, and I was listening, but I was
Speaker 1: trying to juggle the joke that I had in my
Speaker 1: head before I forgot it and listening, and then I
Speaker 1: thought about it and I was like, the joke only
Speaker 1: made sense in that moment, and that's why I had
Speaker 1: to cut in, because now it's like not as funny
Speaker 1: as it could have been, but the joke was, and
Speaker 1: now I just have to say it. The joke was
Speaker 1: when you were like, oh my god, Kai's over there dying,
Speaker 1: and I was gonna be like, oh, for you audio listeners.
Speaker 1: When he says that Kai's not actually on screen dying,
Speaker 1: He's just like laughing really hard.
Speaker 2: I thought you were going to make like an old
Speaker 2: joke like over there dying because he's like eighty six
Speaker 2: or so.
Speaker 1: No, I'm just gonna like just for people who maybe
Speaker 1: don't understand that phrase, like I don't want to like
Speaker 1: if someone's driving there, Oh my god, Cuy's dying. I
Speaker 1: need to like switch over to visual, Like he's not dying.
Speaker 1: He's When we say that, we mean like he's laughing
Speaker 1: so hard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when I say like I'm dead as fuck, I'm
Speaker 2: dead as fuck.
Speaker 1: But anyone who's eight million years old listening and cous.
Speaker 2: Okay, So prometheer Is takes that DNA data and tells
Speaker 2: you like based off of specific like whatever they're fucking called.
Speaker 2: Don't ask me questions about it. It's beyond my head.
Speaker 2: But like it goes through each DNA strands and it
Speaker 2: finds like the markers in your DNA that like show
Speaker 2: higher risk for certain things, and it's like it's good
Speaker 2: bad and just like whatever and like it like which
Speaker 2: it's actually funny because I have it just highlighted on
Speaker 2: bad and mail is popping up, which is interesting.
Speaker 1: But like you being a male.
Speaker 2: Yeah it is bad, but guys, like it's over for me,
Speaker 2: like you really thought like I thought it was blood cloths,
Speaker 2: like I thought it was black mold, like I thought
Speaker 2: it was like anything else other than this. But like
Speaker 2: it's so like I'm down bad, like I might.
Speaker 1: Much worse than we could have ever imagined.
Speaker 2: I literally like might not make it.
Speaker 1: The thing is, I just don't like I believe in science,
Speaker 1: but I don't know that I believe in this because
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, one, it's insane that like your data
Speaker 1: is just out there after doing that one thing to
Speaker 1: buy this information from someone else. But two, bitch, if
Speaker 1: I was running this business, I would lie.
Speaker 2: It's deleted in forty five days. Oh really yeah, but
Speaker 2: that's why I did it because I was like, I'm
Speaker 2: not doing all that, but this is so bad. So guys,
Speaker 2: I don't know how much longer we're gonna be able
Speaker 2: to do this podcast for because like this is really
Speaker 2: really bad. But it says significantly increased approximately twenty times
Speaker 2: more than the average person risk for a rare B
Speaker 2: cell lymphoma.
Speaker 1: Bitch, I don't know what that means.
Speaker 2: Like I literally like what you said, cancer, I have
Speaker 2: twenty times higher risk of getting B cell cancer. This
Speaker 2: is it's like so bad, Like yeah.
Speaker 1: And you don't have like you don't you don't know
Speaker 1: that you have.
Speaker 2: It's probably already bruin in there.
Speaker 1: Like this is the equivalent to like reading someone's charts
Speaker 1: have a bad day today, but we don't know.
Speaker 2: I was saying today that I was like, this is
Speaker 2: so bad for me, because like this is literally like
Speaker 2: looking at how I'm going to die basically because there's
Speaker 2: more shit on here, Like I have an increased risk
Speaker 2: for type two diabetes, like a generational risk.
Speaker 1: Like we kind of knew that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like we I have that.
Speaker 1: You literally your body physically can't digest any meal. I
Speaker 1: have a like ten calories and.
Speaker 2: Go to sleep immediately. I got a five point seven
Speaker 2: times increased risk for thyroid cancer.
Speaker 1: Where's what's a thyroid? It's in your throat right right? Oh, well,
Speaker 1: I know how you got the throat one.
Speaker 2: This one's crazy. I got a six point two times
Speaker 2: increased risk of developing prostate cancer.
Speaker 1: Again, now how you go that one's.
Speaker 2: This one says and it read me to filth that
Speaker 2: I probably have scaly skin patches, which is.
Speaker 1: Just like you're kind of ugly. You might die from cancer.
Speaker 2: But this is the greatest information I have ever gotten
Speaker 2: in my life, and it quite literally might be the
Speaker 2: only reason why. Yeah, and it says unlikely to go bald, not.
Speaker 1: If I have anything to do with it, not as
Speaker 1: long as you're living with me. Because when I hit
Speaker 1: it in the back, I ripped that hair. I was like,
Speaker 1: it's such a bad habit.
Speaker 2: I'm also going to get breast cancer probably at something.
Speaker 1: That's what it does. Yeah, I just don't find this
Speaker 1: kind of jokes funny.
Speaker 2: Ummm wait, there's some more shit age related mascular degeneration.
Speaker 1: So you're gonna get authritis probably.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I feel like, actually everybody, I have a four time
Speaker 2: risk for rheumatoid arthritis. And it just says in Caucasians.
Speaker 1: Why does everybody not get authritis? And with age you
Speaker 1: kind of just get it.
Speaker 2: Not everybody. Rheumatward arthritis is like you can get arthritis
Speaker 2: and that's just like I think general aches and pains, yeah,
Speaker 2: just general like with age, but rheumatoid arthritis is like
Speaker 2: a disease. I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1: Like it's like really fucking your shit up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like down.
Speaker 1: Imagine not being able to finger yourself, bro, Like damn.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that does.
Speaker 1: I guess you have the technology to do it with
Speaker 1: other things. God made so many things.
Speaker 2: But I'm trying to get where because you can just
Speaker 2: highlight all the good stuff. But it's not freaking popping.
Speaker 1: There is no good stuff, dude. That's the thing is
Speaker 1: like there's no way to highlight it because there's nothing
Speaker 1: good in your future. I know.
Speaker 2: Like literally this says the only one I thought.
Speaker 1: It says you should kill yourself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. This one says like I have like
Speaker 2: an abnormally large penis, and like big fuck.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, because I don't say that.
Speaker 2: This one actually does say that, like my brain is
Speaker 2: really massive, and that like it probably goes over.
Speaker 4: I want to see.
Speaker 2: It's like like everything I say and that like you're
Speaker 2: really misunderstood and like just things like that, like just generally.
Speaker 1: Misunderstand it got that from your DNA. How would they
Speaker 1: know that? Don't Drew has issues? Dude. The things Drew
Speaker 1: spends money on, I don't understand. Like if you were
Speaker 1: ever wondering what Drew spends his money on, it's ship
Speaker 1: like that and this, and I think that's like a
Speaker 1: really good in rocks.
Speaker 2: Rocks and bugs. This okay for the girls that don't know,
Speaker 2: because I'm sure a few of y'all out.
Speaker 1: There, this is like an insane show.
Speaker 2: This is called a duo on And like I said,
Speaker 2: a few episodes ago, I am like so incredibly down bad,
Speaker 2: and like I'm really addicted to Pokemon Go right now.
Speaker 2: This connects via Bluetooth to your Pokemon Go app, and
Speaker 2: while you're driving or walking, you don't even have to
Speaker 2: open the Pokemon Go app. It just spins the stops
Speaker 2: and catches the pokemon for you. Guess how much this
Speaker 2: was for all that convenience? Too much? How much?
Speaker 1: I know? So I can't say.
Speaker 3: I would guess seventy bucks?
Speaker 2: Wow, that was actually really good, really good.
Speaker 1: Guess were ten dollars lower? It was eighty fucking dollars.
Speaker 2: That's it's for convenience and no.
Speaker 1: For convenient Let me see if that's that feels like?
Speaker 2: Even make that joke, because it literally feels like it's
Speaker 2: should be three bucks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this you could have got this on shean, Yeah.
Speaker 2: But it probably would have hacked my Pokemon Go account.
Speaker 1: How do you know this isn't hacking your phone? This
Speaker 1: is just collecting data, like you're What doesn't make sense
Speaker 1: is you're somebody who's so scared of being surveillanced and watched,
Speaker 1: but then you openly and willingly carry a data collecting
Speaker 1: thing in your pocket. So that you can have digital
Speaker 1: Pokemon on your phone.
Speaker 2: I am a targeted individual, but we all know this already.
Speaker 1: I was talking about that the other day with somebody,
Speaker 1: and I was like, there was an error where Drew
Speaker 1: genuinely thought and at first I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this is another one of his like when he thinks
Speaker 1: he has blood cloths, like he thinks he's like like
Speaker 1: has an ear infection or something. But there was a
Speaker 1: time where Drew genuinely was convinced he was being followed
Speaker 1: and stocked, which again doesn't make sense because no offense boring.
Speaker 2: Person wouldn't want all this.
Speaker 1: Like I don't think it's not like a sexual.
Speaker 2: Thing, though it was. It was like they want me
Speaker 2: so fucking bad. No, it was more of like I
Speaker 2: knew too much, Like I was.
Speaker 1: Too but what do you know that any other schizophrenic
Speaker 1: person with a TikTok account doesn't know? Like what did
Speaker 1: you know versus those people?
Speaker 3: Not much?
Speaker 2: Honestly, like it's it's it's really bad. No. I was
Speaker 2: literally just like, actually I really thought I was like
Speaker 2: being followed or the universe was sending me signs and
Speaker 2: ship through like fucking blinkers and lights that were out
Speaker 2: on vehicles, like headlights. When I was driving at night.
Speaker 2: It was really really scary because I'd be like, oh,
Speaker 2: there's another one, there's another one, there's another one, and
Speaker 2: it was it was abnormal. There were way more than normal,
Speaker 2: and I was like, what is this telling me?
Speaker 1: Like, if you think about it, it was kind of
Speaker 1: during COVID time. So in my head that makes sense
Speaker 1: because I'm like, people are less likely to want to
Speaker 1: go to a shop or like get their shit fixed.
Speaker 2: Actually, what it was is it was the higher powers
Speaker 2: telling me not to sit on the left side of
Speaker 2: the vehicle because that's car. A car is going to
Speaker 2: hit me.
Speaker 1: And that's why you were a passenger, Princess, not because
Speaker 1: you didn't have a car and you're bad at driving,
Speaker 1: but because the higher powers were telling you that you
Speaker 1: need to sit the passengers.
Speaker 2: You knew, you know it, But yeah, I was. I
Speaker 2: was a targeted individual for a while. I'm not anymore.
Speaker 1: I will say that light that shines the like camera
Speaker 1: thing that shines in our backyard doesn't make sense, but
Speaker 1: I'm assuming that's like a mini five G tower so
Speaker 1: I can watch more tiktoks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, that's all take it is weird. And they
Speaker 2: were working on it the other day and the workers
Speaker 2: were all really sketchy and looking at us. I think
Speaker 2: it is like a camera or like a light our censor,
Speaker 2: like facing into our backyard, but like what we.
Speaker 1: Can't get from that?
Speaker 2: Oh it's direct?
Speaker 1: What are you doing in the back Yeah, what are
Speaker 1: you doing that?
Speaker 4: You're like, you don't want to know that.
Speaker 2: Oh, my nails are so fucking brittle and than right now,
Speaker 2: I feel so emasculated, like like when I when my
Speaker 2: nails get cut or I buy my nails too short,
Speaker 2: it makes me like five percent weaker, Like I don't
Speaker 2: know how to describe it, but when my nails go
Speaker 2: when they're after being long and I cut them short,
Speaker 2: like I.
Speaker 1: Feel you don't live in a primitive time where you
Speaker 1: need strong nails.
Speaker 2: Though I know well I climb tree stick a lot.
Speaker 1: I don't think like I think even if your nails
Speaker 1: were strong, would they help you climb trees? Imagine putting
Speaker 1: all your weight on your nails.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I really don't know.
Speaker 1: Well, I think porta potties are like remember how you
Speaker 1: keep talking about barbarian things that we do. Porta potties
Speaker 1: are so barbarian and weird. I've always felt so weirded
Speaker 1: out by them. They are so nasty, like there has
Speaker 1: to be a better system. It's just shit and piss
Speaker 1: sitting there and you go in the sun, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: you go, and you spray your piss on top of it.
Speaker 1: All the particles are like bouncing up, all the bacterias
Speaker 1: bouncing up right into your hole. You're gonna die, You're
Speaker 1: gonna catch something. Like I would rather piss on the
Speaker 1: street than piss in a porta potty. I also would
Speaker 1: just like to piss in public in general.
Speaker 2: Me too. I would like to see you do that too,
Speaker 2: can you you want to see me?
Speaker 1: Papa Squad?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would really like that. Actually, no, yeah, port
Speaker 2: potties are really scary, and they give me bad fucking vibes,
Speaker 2: like even beyond just like the shit and his stingch
Speaker 2: like in there, like literally just like the energy it
Speaker 2: gives off. I'm like some weird shd.
Speaker 1: Like there's never a light in there, even when it's
Speaker 1: in a dark place. It's like fully dark, and they
Speaker 1: make the plastic thin enough that a little light seeks through,
Speaker 1: and it's just like they make it dark in there,
Speaker 1: so you can't look directly into the hole that you're
Speaker 1: doing your business in because then everybody will step back
Speaker 1: and be like, this is the weirdest thing ever. And
Speaker 1: that's why they don't put lights in porta potties, is
Speaker 1: because they don't want you to see exactly what's going
Speaker 1: on in there. Also, you are a fucking maniac if
Speaker 1: you're going in there and tagging a porta potty on
Speaker 1: the inside, that marker now is carrying like a new
Speaker 1: strain of virus that's gonna kill like the whole population.
Speaker 2: That might be their goal.
Speaker 1: That might be the goal, Yeah, but they're really gross
Speaker 1: and they scare me. Also, these little water contraptions that
Speaker 1: you step on to wash your hands that they've like
Speaker 1: invented in the past five years. Before that, there was
Speaker 1: nothing to wash your hands outside of a porta potty,
Speaker 1: which is really fucking nasty. But also like the water
Speaker 1: sitting in there is just like this freaks me out
Speaker 1: because I'm like, there's no way there's enough water in
Speaker 1: here to sustain watching washing this many people's hands. And
Speaker 1: I'm convinced that the water in there is being just
Speaker 1: like recycled and we're all washing each other's water, our
Speaker 1: hands with like pissed water.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know those. I think those were like a
Speaker 2: really really great invention. It was a reactionary invention.
Speaker 1: Though they need a mirror on it or something. Though
Speaker 1: also when mirror like bathrooms don't have mirrors. I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure I've said this, but it literally feels like a
Speaker 1: death sentence. Like, man, it feels like I'm being thrown
Speaker 1: into an asylum.
Speaker 2: Candy Man?
Speaker 1: Is that what that movie is about? A mirror?
Speaker 2: But if you say candy Man three times into a mirror,
Speaker 2: it pops up.
Speaker 1: Oh so it's like Bloody Mary.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Wow, so they replaced Bloody Mary with a man.
Speaker 2: Candy Man is candy Yeah, candy Man is the one
Speaker 2: with the hooks.
Speaker 1: And did you see that movie?
Speaker 2: I saw it like twenty years ago, Like my dad
Speaker 2: loved that.
Speaker 1: Movie for some reason. Candy Man sounds like a new
Speaker 1: movie to me.
Speaker 2: They remade it. Oh okay, yeah, but the old one
Speaker 2: there was like a scene where he was like covered
Speaker 2: in bees or something, and it scarred me for life.
Speaker 2: We are are we taught to be afraid of bees?
Speaker 2: Or are we just like? Is it prime? Like?
Speaker 1: Is it in?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think it might be natural human instinct, because it's
Speaker 1: not like in school they taught us like what bugs
Speaker 1: to be scared of. Was that your fucking Pokemon thing
Speaker 1: talking to you? Yeah, it's speak as a speaker on it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: can you play music off that thing?
Speaker 2: No, but I can out listen listen, listen.
Speaker 1: Listen eighty seven Pokemon hot.
Speaker 2: It kind of keeps track of everything I've done, and
Speaker 2: since I've gotten it, ninety seven Pokemon stops visited. That's incredible.
Speaker 1: Well, your bag is full, That's what I just told you,
Speaker 1: So it's not going to be collecting anymore.
Speaker 2: Tell me's wrong with that speaker? I have to put it.
Speaker 1: Why don't you just turn it off? You don't want
Speaker 1: to stop catching Pokemon?
Speaker 2: No? Yeah, I'm going to keep it on to catch
Speaker 2: all of the race Pokemon in our vicinity.
Speaker 1: Dude, something is seriously you're wrong with you.
Speaker 2: It's up and it stuck.
Speaker 1: I saw Drake and it actually for once, I was
Speaker 1: actually not for once. Two people I've seen live performing
Speaker 1: who have actually made me feel like I had a
Speaker 1: prank being played on me was Doja Cat at the
Speaker 1: Heaven event in New York.
Speaker 2: She's part of the Illuminati.
Speaker 1: Now you know, I'm not kidding. I'm I genuinely I
Speaker 1: rarely am stepping back and I'm like, this is insane.
Speaker 1: Actually that's not true. Every time I see a famous
Speaker 1: person and see the way people interact with them, I
Speaker 1: genuinely feel like a prank is being pulled on me
Speaker 1: because I can't believe that our human brains are like
Speaker 1: that intrigued with a random fucking person, and it really
Speaker 1: freaks me out. And two, it literally makes me step
Speaker 1: back and I'm like, this is holly weird. Like I understand.
Speaker 1: I understand the people with like twenty likes on TikTok
Speaker 1: who are like going off and going on a rant.
Speaker 1: That's how the Drake concert made me feel. And I
Speaker 1: didn't want to explain it to you because I wanted
Speaker 1: to stay it on the podcast. He scares the fuck
Speaker 1: out of me. Something really sinister.
Speaker 2: I need him on the podcast.
Speaker 1: I would have sex with him, though, do not if
Speaker 1: you're hearing this, I will have sex with you, like
Speaker 1: no questions, because I will say. He did come down
Speaker 1: like near where we were standing, where our tickets were,
Speaker 1: and I saw him and the way my like, I
Speaker 1: like was like, oh my god, whoa uh Hi Like
Speaker 1: the way I felt, I felt like a teenage girl.
Speaker 1: But then the second he was on stage, like the
Speaker 1: second he was like ten feet away and I saw
Speaker 1: him touching everyone's hands and everybody yelling at him. I
Speaker 1: was like, this is the weirdest thing I've ever witnessed.
Speaker 1: And that's not necessarily a commentary on like fan culture,
Speaker 1: but more like he like something something is happening, something
Speaker 1: really scary is happening. The concert felt really weird. I
Speaker 1: was so happy. I had to get high because I
Speaker 1: was high at the Doge Cat Heaven thing and I
Speaker 1: felt like she was playing a prank on me when
Speaker 1: I was there, Like that's the only way I could
Speaker 1: describe it. There is a video of me post crying,
Speaker 1: like in the car with my handout and I'm wearing
Speaker 1: that green shirt if you've seen that video. That was
Speaker 1: literally after seeing Doja Cat live and I cried because
Speaker 1: I felt so scared and uncomfortable and I was so happy.
Speaker 1: I almost took an edible before I went and saw Drake,
Speaker 1: And I'm so happy I did it because like, also
Speaker 1: the little kid who he keeps bringing on stage, does
Speaker 1: that kid not have school? Like is he being paid,
Speaker 1: like do we need to help him? Like why is
Speaker 1: he just on stage? And I literally thought he was
Speaker 1: a hologram or like an animatronic for half the show
Speaker 1: and it was genuinely terrifying. Doesn't like have holograms, he
Speaker 1: has like filters playing on people's faces and it's on stage.
Speaker 2: Isn't there like a hologram of him? But it's like
Speaker 2: someone projecting, projecting mapping his face on like a younger
Speaker 2: version of.
Speaker 1: Him, And yeah, it is like it's it's weird, Like
Speaker 1: I don't understand how they did it.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 1: I wasn't close enough to see if the kid actually
Speaker 1: like looks like him or had something on his face,
Speaker 1: but on the screen they have it like like a
Speaker 1: deep fake thing of his own face playing, and the
Speaker 1: kid is like, I guess told the move really weird
Speaker 1: because he looks like an animatronic. And I when I
Speaker 1: first saw I was like, oh my god, he has
Speaker 1: a hologram, Like what the fuck is that? And then
Speaker 1: I realized it was actually a couch and like actually
Speaker 1: a person on there. But it was really really scary.
Speaker 1: So that's my update is I'm really scared of Drake.
Speaker 2: Yeah, any anytime, I'm at a concert, like it's like
Speaker 2: the most euphoric I've ever been. Like I'm like, oh, like,
Speaker 2: I love this so much. I love that everyone is
Speaker 2: here for the same thing. And then like I always
Speaker 2: have these really really low moments where I like am
Speaker 2: looking at a sea of people in the back of
Speaker 2: their heads and like they're all like barely moving, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, are y'all even alive? Like are people existing
Speaker 2: behind me? Like this is really fucking weird simulation shit, like,
Speaker 2: and I'm sure everybody has that moment where they're like,
Speaker 2: what the fuck are we doing? Like this is so weird, But.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get other people just like enjoy their life.
Speaker 2: I get the most existential I've ever been, like ever
Speaker 2: self aware and existential concerts. Every time I go, I'm
Speaker 2: just like, this is so so bizarre.
Speaker 1: It gets so scary, Like I don't know, it was
Speaker 1: really weird. Also, people kept taking videos of me, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, guys, yeah, I know.
Speaker 4: It was weird.
Speaker 2: I was I was telling everyone that that video is like,
Speaker 2: literally I think one of the funniest things you've ever done,
Speaker 2: one and two, Like it was one of those moments
Speaker 2: where I was like jealous, like that I wasn't the
Speaker 2: one to make that joke, Like I was so like, damn,
Speaker 2: this is so funny.
Speaker 1: Somebody reposted that video on TikTok and one of the
Speaker 1: top comments was like, do you understand how confused the
Speaker 1: people who were trying to film Drake are when they
Speaker 1: look back at that video and to see you looking
Speaker 1: at them like, hey, I'm here. There was one girl
Speaker 1: who she like behind her phone, like had her phone
Speaker 1: like this and kept being like she was like like
Speaker 1: did they want to look at me? Like kept trying
Speaker 1: to like like knewver her phone where she couldn't see
Speaker 1: my face because everybody I was like right by the stairs,
Speaker 1: So everybody right there was like staring not staring at me,
Speaker 1: but they were trying to see Drake. Yeah, but like
Speaker 1: I was just staring right at all of them, and
Speaker 1: I caught eye contact with every single person. Every single
Speaker 1: person probably thought I was a fucking psychoaout Like the
Speaker 1: way I walk into any situation and I clock one
Speaker 1: person who makes me uncomfortable, I'm like, cool, they're gonna
Speaker 1: stab me. I was giving that.
Speaker 2: To someone to stabbing today. Yeah, I think we need
Speaker 2: to have Doja cat On to fight the Illuminati allegations.
Speaker 2: I think what I think is it's a case of
Speaker 2: all publicity is good, publicity taken too far, and this
Speaker 2: whole satanic panic, like everyone playing off of this satanic panic,
Speaker 2: like as publicity is just so tried and fucking boring,
Speaker 2: and like everyone was just fucking fed up with it,
Speaker 2: and like Dojah just took it too fucking far. She
Speaker 2: was just like like, yeah, I don't know, that's my
Speaker 2: take on it. Like, no one's actually in the fucking Illuminati.
Speaker 2: The Illuminati isn't fucking real. She just did it too far?
Speaker 1: Guys? Is it?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 1: How would we know?
Speaker 2: It's right in front of you? Guys, we're not in
Speaker 2: the Illuminati. You remember the black Eye photo of me.
Speaker 3: You know, the thing of those people like touching the orb.
Speaker 1: No, what I'm talking about, Like, why don't you ask
Speaker 1: me if I know about it?
Speaker 3: Well, I assume since you're a.
Speaker 2: Girl, you're I was that you're not as intellectual as
Speaker 2: as boys.
Speaker 3: Well, Drew's obviously the schizophrenic one, you know.
Speaker 1: And I'm the normal one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's always one normal one and one schizophrenic one
Speaker 3: in the squad. But no, it's like some island that
Speaker 3: all these conspiracy theorists were like, oh, elites go to
Speaker 3: this island and they do ritual.
Speaker 2: I was like the big owl burning.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, and like photos came out of like actual
Speaker 3: people that were like touching an orb and like Hillary
Speaker 3: Clinton's there bruval to one.
Speaker 1: White people just like take an overly holistic viewpoint of
Speaker 1: their life because they get so bored and they don't
Speaker 1: have problems, and then they're like, we need to do
Speaker 1: something the end, like we just need to do something,
Speaker 1: like literally so bored. So they yeah, so they start
Speaker 1: just like going and making ship up like that has
Speaker 1: to be the equivalent of that. It's like it's like
Speaker 1: when people go on like a SPA retreat. That's their
Speaker 1: version of a SPA retreat because they've been to too
Speaker 1: many SPA retreats, so they're like, we need to start
Speaker 1: our own thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And then there there's that big fucking tunnel too
Speaker 2: that they dug through and then yes, and it was
Speaker 2: for Lana del Rey release party and they had like
Speaker 2: a really demonic like ritual done like a big dance thing,
Speaker 2: and like watching it like when I was fourteen, I
Speaker 2: was like, oh wow, this is really crazy. But I
Speaker 2: think it's literally just like people like being stupid, and
Speaker 2: that's what I'm gonna choose to believe, So I don't go.
Speaker 1: They're all fucking high as ship.
Speaker 2: They all did show you the video. It's it's honestly
Speaker 2: really bizarre, like the ship that they're acting out, and.
Speaker 1: It's like, wait, is it famous people?
Speaker 2: No, No, it's like rich people, really really wealthy people,
Speaker 2: like board through a mountain and like the opening it
Speaker 2: was like a big hole in the ground, and like
Speaker 2: the ceremony after was like just really creepy, and it
Speaker 2: was like the the Olympics Ypning in twenty twelve or
Speaker 2: something like that or twenty sixteen, like had like a
Speaker 2: big ass like sculpture of like a grim reaper and
Speaker 2: like like the Olympics. Yeah, they had like a big
Speaker 2: like their Olympic ritual, and then there was like viruses everywhere,
Speaker 2: and people were like it was predictive programming for like
Speaker 2: the pandemic that's gonna come in twenty twenty or it
Speaker 2: could have been like twenty eighteen, but it was it
Speaker 2: was one year.
Speaker 1: Well, the only time I watched the Olympics was in
Speaker 1: twenty twelve when One Direction performed that's the only time
Speaker 1: I've ever seen anything about the Olympics. Like, I'm not kidding.
Speaker 1: Is it the Olympics happening in LA this year? M
Speaker 1: or is it next year? Twenty twenty four?
Speaker 2: Twenty twenty four?
Speaker 1: Why are we going to the Olympics. That's fucking life
Speaker 1: it Wait that was the Olympics, I know. And then
Speaker 1: they's kind of insane for the Olympics.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. Wait that was the Olympics too, Yes,
Speaker 2: and then there's like crazy people in like beds and shit,
Speaker 2: like it's really it's really it is really bizarre.
Speaker 1: Wait, why is it a pirate.
Speaker 4: Eight?
Speaker 1: This is Hamilton. I've never seen Hamilton bro. I don't
Speaker 1: know what that is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just know that one dude is like really creepy.
Speaker 1: Puerto Rico him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly right. But what did you just say? Oh
Speaker 2: you just said something.
Speaker 1: I said, I've only seen the Olympics when One Direction play,
Speaker 1: that's the only time I tapped in. And I remember
Speaker 1: that day so vividly because that was the day I
Speaker 1: was like thirteen. I was like, I'm going to live
Speaker 1: in New York and be a writer. And I was
Speaker 1: sitting there watching One Direction, which is like okay, like
Speaker 1: you swear, like what the fuck? Like you're literally watching
Speaker 1: and I was eating special case cereal and it was
Speaker 1: really fun and I missed those times.
Speaker 2: The only time I really tuned into the Olympics was
Speaker 2: Michael Phelps like Gold Metal Run, And when I found
Speaker 2: out Michael Phelps smoked weed, it was earth shattering.
Speaker 1: Like heartbreaking or yes, I was like, it's like when
Speaker 1: we all found out Zaane and Justin Bieber smoked weed and.
Speaker 2: We're like, stop, well Justin Bieber smokes myth with Selena Gomez.
Speaker 2: Have you seen the video of them like literally like
Speaker 2: running through like a met like a meth populated area,
Speaker 2: and like they just bought meth and they like are
Speaker 2: running away.
Speaker 1: No, Sean Men doesn't call.
Speaker 2: The video of them walking that was literally one of
Speaker 2: the best videos ever. We got to insert that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we have to insert our recreation of it too.
Speaker 1: We were so.
Speaker 2: Fucking we were literally was that pandemic board.
Speaker 1: They were going on their pandemic walk and it was
Speaker 1: like Shot Mendays and Camela Comeo taking a pandemic walk.
Speaker 2: Oh there's like a big ass fucking squirrel in that tree.
Speaker 1: Right now, you have a you have adhd spot squirrel,
Speaker 1: shiny squirrel. You know what was I saying?
Speaker 2: Shiny shiny object.
Speaker 1: Next time I go to a store and a like
Speaker 1: clerk or sales assistant is being too pushy and really
Speaker 1: trying to make me buy something I don't want to buy,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna fucking steal it.
Speaker 2: Where were you want to get rid of it? So bad?
Speaker 1: It was literally a video game store. They were like
Speaker 1: trying to push video games on us. So I stole
Speaker 1: a bunch of stuff in retaliation for a business that
Speaker 1: needed my purchase. I stole from them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we should. I'll just start stealing from
Speaker 2: small businesses. Bus it's also just boring, yeah, like stealing
Speaker 2: from people who have enough money like that can afford it. Like, no,
Speaker 2: I want to ruin people's lives.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want this to Like really, I want to
Speaker 1: cause a domino effect. I don't do anything just to
Speaker 1: do it. I do it for the domino effect.
Speaker 2: We should destroy the economy. Oh, when they're like all
Speaker 2: these freaking financial studies coming out that like Taylor Swift
Speaker 2: when she goes to certain places on tour that she
Speaker 2: like stimulates the economy like in a crazy way, Like
Speaker 2: I think it was it was Philadelphia or it was
Speaker 2: either Philadelphia or another P word place that she goes.
Speaker 1: A key word you're thinking of is your mom's p word,
Speaker 1: because when I go there, I over stimulated.
Speaker 2: It was actually your gat pussy Like girl, you got
Speaker 2: a gat for a vagina? Bagina is gat?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but.
Speaker 2: What is that you gotta gat a gat bajina? What
Speaker 2: it's like when you see like a But you're supposed
Speaker 2: to go yeah, damn okay, but like people are, you're
Speaker 2: not supposed to say like that, goad damn what got
Speaker 2: you gotta get? But Taylor Swift, But Taylor Swift stimulates
Speaker 2: how he.
Speaker 1: Said button not booms? She said big button not But
Speaker 1: so it's not straight Okay, sorry, okay. Taylor Swift stimulates
Speaker 1: herself keep going.
Speaker 2: No, she stimulates the economy in the craziest like that.
Speaker 2: But you know, in Pennsylvania, Philadelphia somewhere, the like Tourism
Speaker 2: Board like said that it was the most hotels ever
Speaker 2: rented out in a single three day period, and it
Speaker 2: was something like three hundred thousand hotel rooms were rented out,
Speaker 2: which like if you think about that for three that's
Speaker 2: hotels that's like a billion dollars in revenue for Pennsylvania,
Speaker 2: Philadelphia or something like that. That's crazy, And then not
Speaker 2: even to mention like all the Ubers and the people
Speaker 2: on tour, we're.
Speaker 1: Literally gonna like the economy is going to be boost
Speaker 1: I'm honestly gonna feel bad for everybody in those towns
Speaker 1: who like aren't used to that kind of like traffic, traffic.
Speaker 1: They're gonna like be like to work and stuff.
Speaker 2: And it's damage the economy. We're gonna have to like
Speaker 2: file for bankrupt Yeah, we're gonna have to like beg
Speaker 2: the government to give us money back. What the fu
Speaker 2: were you looking at looking at your vagina?
Speaker 1: The thing is you like work because you're gonna.
Speaker 2: Reeks in here.
Speaker 1: I almost said something so fucking gross, but.
Speaker 2: What are we gonna say?
Speaker 1: It wasn't even that gross, but it was just disgusting
Speaker 1: to say to you. But I was gonna be like, oh,
Speaker 1: do you want to just give it a taste so
Speaker 1: you can put the rumors to us. But the idea
Speaker 1: of me looking at you and saying.
Speaker 2: Do you want to well this this is one line
Speaker 2: in one line only, and we're not touching on it
Speaker 2: for any longer than we have to, but Big Sexy
Speaker 2: Man had emergency or complaying in the background. If you're watching, Hello,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know you immediately.
Speaker 2: And what's crazy is I I had already stalked this
Speaker 2: person a lot, a.
Speaker 1: Lot of a lot of videos we're seen. Why are
Speaker 1: you backtracking because now you're.
Speaker 2: Embarrassed because I'm embarrassed.
Speaker 1: But you can we can. We don't have to talk
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can move on. Let's move on, should I?
Speaker 2: This is all notes on a specific event that happened
Speaker 2: that I was like, I wanted to talk about. What's
Speaker 2: the I want to make a movie about it, or
Speaker 2: like write a movie about it, because it is the
Speaker 2: one of the craziest things ever heard happen, and no
Speaker 2: one's made a movie on it yet, and it's fucking
Speaker 2: crazy because it would be like a sick Cronenberg movie.
Speaker 2: I mean not Cronenberg Coen Brothers or like Cronenberg. He's
Speaker 2: he's another like really creepy director. He makes really creepy movies. Okay,
Speaker 2: but it's the nineteen oh four Olympic Marathon.
Speaker 1: I don't know about that, brog Like I'm sorry, nineteen
Speaker 1: oh four isn't a year I need to have any
Speaker 1: like knowledge on It's damn. I'm sorry, but that squirrel
Speaker 1: is going in. He's hanging upside down right now, Squirrel.
Speaker 2: It's the worst race ever.
Speaker 1: Look at it, Drew. His feet are hanging off do
Speaker 1: you see that his feet are hanging off the let.
Speaker 5: He's tweaky where I don't know, I've never seen them
Speaker 5: do that. He's like using his feet to.
Speaker 1: Hold him and his tail. He's gonna fall and fucking die.
Speaker 1: Did Dude? What's crazy is that animal has no fear
Speaker 1: of literally falling to his death right now, Like that's
Speaker 1: not even on his mind. Do you see that guy?
Speaker 3: Oh whoa, Yeah, he has.
Speaker 2: Really big nipples. It had like six big ass fucking nipples,
Speaker 2: fucking massive areolas.
Speaker 1: I've never seen a squirrel actually do what a score
Speaker 1: was meant to do. Usually they just like want.
Speaker 2: Climbing on trunk of the tree. Yeah, they're like climbing
Speaker 2: on roofs and fucking wires.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But the nineteen oh four Olympic Marathon was the worst
Speaker 2: race in human history. It was like in nineteen oh four,
Speaker 2: so they obviously didn't understand like proper hydration and like
Speaker 2: how to take care of people.
Speaker 1: By nineteen oh four, they didn't know they needed water.
Speaker 2: They knew they needed water, but they didn't know like
Speaker 2: at the rate.
Speaker 1: They didn't know that they needed red forty.
Speaker 2: Which I'm still I'm still like, I don't believe that
Speaker 2: we need that much water to survive, because I swear
Speaker 2: to God, from like six years old to like twenty one,
Speaker 2: I only drank Coca cola.
Speaker 1: For that's being really nice to yourself from twenty one
Speaker 1: to twenty five right now, because no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: don't really. Oh my god, it's funny because it wasn't
Speaker 1: on camera and I haven't seen that in your hands
Speaker 1: since we last recorded. I have seen it in his hands.
Speaker 2: Proper hydration like your cup water, well, it is just jizz.
Speaker 2: That's addie water. When me and Ya were on press play,
Speaker 2: we would find adderall pills and dump them into bottles
Speaker 2: of water because we wanted to share them. But they
Speaker 2: were the ones that you had, the like capsules that
Speaker 2: had a bunch of little beads in it, and we
Speaker 2: would put it in water. But it's not water soluble,
Speaker 2: so we would shake it up and it wouldn't melt,
Speaker 2: and we would go to drink it.
Speaker 1: And like each other those little pellets.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we were like fighting to be the person
Speaker 2: to get the last swig and like whoever got.
Speaker 1: The last swig you will never guess who won.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Ann your one. And it was fucked up, but yeah,
Speaker 2: we were We were drinking adderall water, you know.
Speaker 1: And I was up till eight am and then we
Speaker 1: continued to go and meet all of you guys. Hung
Speaker 1: over at the ripe age of seventeen. It was bloodshot
Speaker 1: eyes shaking.
Speaker 2: In like a in a in like purgatory almost like
Speaker 2: it was really crazy, like you couldn't even think thoughts. Okay,
Speaker 2: So this race was on unpaved roads. It was like
Speaker 2: dirt roads. They were running on dirt roads through the
Speaker 2: middle of the city in Saint Louis.
Speaker 1: Running from the coming of Christ, like running off.
Speaker 2: It's so crazy. And like also they started this race
Speaker 2: at three pm in Saint Louis in the middle of
Speaker 2: fucking summer. So in the shade it was ninety degrees
Speaker 2: and outsider shade it was upwards of one hundred and
Speaker 2: five degrees running a marathon, which in today's standard, like
Speaker 2: you cannot start a race legally if it's higher than
Speaker 2: seventy degrees, Like really, I mean I think you can,
Speaker 2: but it's like really really hardly recommend and did that,
Speaker 2: Like you don't start The ideal temperature to start a
Speaker 2: race is forty to fifty degrees damn. Like you want
Speaker 2: to be cold and then work your way up. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and you want to be done by fucking ten, Like
Speaker 2: you don't want to be racing. Yeah, you don't want
Speaker 2: to be racing. And on top of all of that,
Speaker 2: on this race, there were only two water stations the
Speaker 2: entire marathon.
Speaker 1: This is the Olympics. This isn't like someone was just
Speaker 1: having fun.
Speaker 2: This is the Olympics and they were only was it
Speaker 2: the first Olympics. No, there were only two water stations.
Speaker 2: And the reason why it's fucking crazy. So the commissioner
Speaker 2: of the race was like using these people as like
Speaker 2: experiments and he wanted to like research quote unquote purposeful dehydration,
Speaker 2: which is crazy. Yeah, so they only put two water
Speaker 2: stations in one hundred degree weather to like experiment on
Speaker 2: these like poor fucking racers. Like it was so so sad,
Speaker 2: and then I could keep getting into it. I could
Speaker 2: really go deep sad. There's like some parts that are like, damn,
Speaker 2: but only thirty four percent of the people who started
Speaker 2: the race finished. Only fourteen people finished.
Speaker 1: And this is not any of those bitches.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're they're real, real, like healthy and like people
Speaker 2: were literally just like collapsing it and like coughing up
Speaker 2: blood and like literally almost dying because of all the
Speaker 2: dust they were inhaling on this race, like they were spinning.
Speaker 1: They do it on the road like that on purpose
Speaker 1: or they just it was just that was just a
Speaker 1: plus for the freaks who were putting on the experiment.
Speaker 1: They were like, oh cool, yeah.
Speaker 2: Now we get the see yeah, we get to see
Speaker 2: their freaking well. Like, this race was so insane that
Speaker 2: people were literally like being run off the fucking course
Speaker 2: by rabid animals and like dogs were chasing them around. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's like really really crazy PanAm. Yeah. Yeah, this was
Speaker 2: in Orlando. So this this is a story. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: Wes Anderson needs to make a movie about this. But
Speaker 2: one of the racers I thought he was like happy
Speaker 2: with his movies.
Speaker 1: Oh that's the story of one of the races.
Speaker 2: Yeah, one of the racers was this mail man from Cuba.
Speaker 1: Shut the hell, Yeah he's talking.
Speaker 3: I think that was the first time I've ever sneezed
Speaker 3: on it.
Speaker 2: I think so.
Speaker 1: I think though it sounded very like a like a
Speaker 1: girl sneezing sound.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like a really girlish sneeze.
Speaker 3: What's wrong with that?
Speaker 1: I bet he's going to put a vocalizer on it
Speaker 1: to make it deeper, Yeah, because it was like you
Speaker 1: and like stretch it out.
Speaker 3: A little bit, you like, let out a little b Yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm going to edit a bunch of farts throughout the
Speaker 3: entire episode while you guys are talking.
Speaker 2: That's good for Are you calling me fart mouth?
Speaker 4: WHOA?
Speaker 3: That's good for us.
Speaker 2: Actually, one of the racers was a mail man from
Speaker 2: Cuba and like, so to get to the Olympics is
Speaker 2: like it's really fucking expensive and like you need sponsors
Speaker 2: and like you need funding. Like a lot of people
Speaker 2: just can't afford to go to the Olympics on their own,
Speaker 2: especially in nineteen oh four, what was.
Speaker 1: It like three dollars to go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, before inflation. He was doing this thing called
Speaker 2: like running for money or something. I don't know the
Speaker 2: fucking term for it, but he would literally just like
Speaker 2: run around Cuba money. Yeah, he would run around Cuba
Speaker 2: and just like collect donations from people. Yeah, and like
Speaker 2: they to get him to the Olympics, because like he
Speaker 2: wanted to go really badly. Well, it's finally time for
Speaker 2: him to fucking leave. He gets on the boat and
Speaker 2: he's driving across the ocean and fucking partying on this
Speaker 2: big ass boat, like with all the money he just got.
Speaker 2: Then he lands in Louisiana. And when he gets to Louisiana,
Speaker 2: he's not supposed to be there very long, but he
Speaker 2: like gets there and just gambles all of his money
Speaker 2: away and parties the entire fucking time he's there. Like
Speaker 2: he turns the club.
Speaker 1: And he goes to Miami and starts a family and
Speaker 1: now he still lives there.
Speaker 2: Well, this dude is alive, Yeah, exactly. Well, this dude
Speaker 2: is like, oh fuck, I like have a race, So
Speaker 2: he like starts hitchhiking, but he has no money to
Speaker 2: get to the fucking race. So he starts hitch hiking,
Speaker 2: and he's like taking buggies and cars and riding trains
Speaker 2: all the way to Saint Louis.
Speaker 1: At the cars and shit looked like and there was
Speaker 1: a cars yet they were insane.
Speaker 2: And then he gets there, and when he gets there,
Speaker 2: it's like seconds before the race, and there's photos of him,
Speaker 2: and right before the race he's in like civilian clothings.
Speaker 2: He fucking stinks. He's been traveling for forty hours. He
Speaker 2: hasn't eaten in forty hours.
Speaker 1: He's like, so, oh, bitch, God, imaginetting this on your
Speaker 1: sweet sixteen I'd be pissed talking about reading an eve
Speaker 1: Babbit book. And she was like, in this book, sorry, interp,
Speaker 1: but in this book she's talking to somebody who grew
Speaker 1: up in like the fucking nineteen twenties and shit. So
Speaker 1: by the time this girl was sixteen in nineteen twenty seven,
Speaker 1: her parents gave her a car and they were like, oh,
Speaker 1: it was a Ford Model T. And me looking for
Speaker 1: a bit just car. I'm like, oh, what's a Form
Speaker 1: Model T.
Speaker 2: Bitch, you were looking at them? You were gonna buy
Speaker 2: a Ford Model T because fucking eat babbits, because not.
Speaker 1: Even eave babbits out of her friend had it. Wait,
Speaker 1: Ford Model T. Look at this fucking car.
Speaker 2: Oh no, Steven's dad has one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, bitch, here I go the fear I go. Wait.
Speaker 1: It was literally like like one of.
Speaker 2: These, Yeah, those are classics.
Speaker 1: Actually this is low key lit like i'd be serving
Speaker 1: Great Gatsby.
Speaker 2: Yeah, great gats speak where it's giving the light. Okay.
Speaker 2: So this dude gets to the race right before it's
Speaker 2: about to start, and he's in just full civilian clothing
Speaker 2: and all these racers are in like short short it's
Speaker 2: like off sleeves, like they're literally just like ready and
Speaker 2: prepared for the race. Well he's like, fuck, I can't
Speaker 2: race in this, so he literally cuts off his pants
Speaker 2: like into shorts, and he cuts the sleeves into short
Speaker 2: sleeves and he's just gonna race in civilian clothing. Well,
Speaker 2: he hasn't eaten in forty hours because he was just
Speaker 2: hitchhiking the whole way there. And like there's like mixed
Speaker 2: like people, yeah, mixed accounts of like recounts of this happening,
Speaker 2: So like this could be real or it couldn't, could
Speaker 2: not be real, but I'm gonna choose it to be real.
Speaker 2: You choose to take how you want. But this dude
Speaker 2: was starving, so he ran up to two strangers who
Speaker 2: were eating peaches and he stole these peaches from them,
Speaker 2: ate them really quick, and then just started the race.
Speaker 2: Like the race started and he's like, obviously two peaches
Speaker 2: isn't doing anything for you got to run, Like what
Speaker 2: is it? Like fucking ten miles? Is how long is
Speaker 2: a marathon? Like fourteen miles or some shit twenty miles,
Speaker 2: twenty six miles. I don't fucking know, because it's in kilometers,
Speaker 2: like bitch, fuck kilometers, like literally fuck kilometers. Kill yourself. Well,
Speaker 2: he like is in the middle of this race and
Speaker 2: he's starving, his stomach's hurting, and they're running past some
Speaker 2: orchard on this race, and so he goes up and
Speaker 2: he grabs a bunch of apples on the floor and
Speaker 2: starts eating them. Well, those apples were like, hella, hella,
Speaker 2: fucking rotten. So like he starts getting like really gnarly
Speaker 2: kramps and bubbly guts and like he feels really sick
Speaker 2: and he's about to throw up. He's also been running
Speaker 2: in one hundred degree red weather for like fucking two
Speaker 2: hours or something, and he's just like freaking the fuck out.
Speaker 2: So he lays down in the shade to take a nap. Well,
Speaker 2: he wakes up and he's like, fuck, I need to
Speaker 2: finish this race. So he just starts running and he
Speaker 2: is one of the only people to finish the race,
Speaker 2: and he placed fucking fourth place while taking a nap
Speaker 2: in the middle of the race. If that shows you
Speaker 2: how fucking awful these conditions were.
Speaker 1: This seems like a story like a teacher would tell
Speaker 1: you about taking your time in life. So there was
Speaker 1: this man.
Speaker 2: So then there was this guy named Fred Lores who
Speaker 2: was the winner. And he finished the race in three
Speaker 2: hours and fifteen minutes, which I think for today's standards
Speaker 2: is pretty fucking fast, let alone doing it in a
Speaker 2: hundred degree weather in nineteen oh four. Oh he had
Speaker 2: that water. Yeah, yeah, yeah he got he had the
Speaker 2: yeah he had yeah he had gorpcore. Well, this dude
Speaker 2: is a good runner, like world class, and he was
Speaker 2: actually really impressive. But as he crossed the finish line,
Speaker 2: he was like partying with like Franklin Franklin Roosevelt's daughter,
Speaker 2: Like the press was like hyping him up. He was
Speaker 2: about to receive it out to him. You know, he
Speaker 2: was about the bang. He was getting interviewed like it
Speaker 2: was it was.
Speaker 1: It was the lone survivor of the world's most chaotic
Speaker 1: marathon and getting to.
Speaker 2: Hit Yeah, no, he won. He was probably really stinky
Speaker 2: he probably a good pheromone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she was calling his pheramount.
Speaker 2: I mean, he's getting interviewed. And then it comes out
Speaker 2: that this dude halfway through the race collapsed at mile
Speaker 2: nine from like dehydration and cramps and took a fucking
Speaker 2: car all the way to a mile before the finish
Speaker 2: line and just jogged the rest and like he made
Speaker 2: it believable enough that like it was like, yeah, so
Speaker 2: he cheated and got first place. Did he hit though, Yeah,
Speaker 2: he smashed, he hit. He fucking finessed Franklin Rozer Belt's
Speaker 2: dobble fuck man. But the real winner was Thomas Hicks.
Speaker 2: And halfway through the race he was like begging for
Speaker 2: water and like freaking the fuck out. He was like
Speaker 2: so dehydrated, like as everyone was, and he had his
Speaker 2: like two trainers with him. This dude is like a
Speaker 2: world class runner. I think he went on the next
Speaker 2: year to actually win first place again in nineteen oh five,
Speaker 2: but like halfway through the race, obviously like everyone else,
Speaker 2: he was like freaking the fuck out dehydrated, and he
Speaker 2: had his trainers with him and they were like really
Speaker 2: trying to him to like go further, and he it
Speaker 2: was to the point where he was like collapsing in
Speaker 2: their arms. He was like, I really I cannot finish this.
Speaker 2: I cannot do this race. Well, his trainers are like, fuck,
Speaker 2: like we have to do something. He's like, you have
Speaker 2: to finish line basicly, basically, basically, dude. What they did
Speaker 2: is they propped him up on their shoulders and they
Speaker 2: didn't want to like shock his system, and so they
Speaker 2: got like a dirty ass fucking rag and just like
Speaker 2: dripped water into his mouth and like sponge bath him
Speaker 2: with water. And they were like, is that enough? And
Speaker 2: he was like no, like I'm not gonna be able
Speaker 2: to finish this race. So what they fucking did, in
Speaker 2: true nineteen oh four fashion, gave him a bottle of
Speaker 2: brandy and a bottle and they thought it was a
Speaker 2: stimulant back then. So he chugged a bottle of brandy.
Speaker 2: They cracked an egg into his mouth and he ate
Speaker 2: the egg whites or I think he ate the whole
Speaker 2: egg into his mouth, and like that was supposed to
Speaker 2: give him enough energy, and that still wasn't working.
Speaker 1: On my birthday, we are going to crack a bottle
Speaker 1: off Casamigos into my mouth, throw an egg in there,
Speaker 1: and I'm about to literally run back to Miami.
Speaker 2: Yes, and then so that still wasn't working, so they
Speaker 2: gave him fucking stryct nine, which is rat poison. They
Speaker 2: just gave him a bunch of fucking rat poison. So
Speaker 2: they gave him brandy.
Speaker 1: He sounds like the best day ever, I know, d
Speaker 1: well he was.
Speaker 2: He was like tweaking off the fucking bean. Like he
Speaker 2: was literally like hallucinating, like this shit like affects your
Speaker 2: nervous system, Like I forget what it's like toxic to
Speaker 2: your nervous system. So like it just like whatever motion
Speaker 2: you're doing, your body just does and you like can't
Speaker 2: fucking stop. So he's like repeating this like jogging motion,
Speaker 2: like all the way to the fucking finish line, and
Speaker 2: eventually like another couple miles in like his he's like
Speaker 2: kind of failing a little bit. So his trainers flagged
Speaker 2: down a dude, which in nineteen oh four, this is crazy.
Speaker 2: They flag a dude down in his car. The dude
Speaker 2: is like, hey, do you have anything to give him?
Speaker 2: He's like, oh, I have another bottle of brandy. So
Speaker 2: he drinks another fucking bottle of brandy, and like so
Speaker 2: he's two bottles of brandy deep. He's strict nine, like
Speaker 2: the fuck out, like hallucinating, like think about doing like
Speaker 2: d MT and that's like what it's doing to this man.
Speaker 2: And he's like geeking. Like we literally told bro we
Speaker 2: geek card like he's like the og geek.
Speaker 1: It's hard to believe that all these things were happening
Speaker 1: during this one run.
Speaker 2: I know, it's really really crazy. Well, he's literally like
Speaker 2: a zombie at this point, like just like like stumbling. Yeah,
Speaker 2: getting through it and even crossing the finish line in
Speaker 2: this race is like you deserve a metal like this.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. They were like breathing in fucking glass dust
Speaker 2: and like chemicals and it was dirt and it was
Speaker 2: so bad.
Speaker 1: Well, like.
Speaker 2: Oh I wrote down age American horror story Asylum post lobotomy,
Speaker 2: it's like what he was, like what he looked like, Yeah,
Speaker 2: full blown LSD trip. Well, he crosses his finish line
Speaker 2: and he's like tweaking so hard off this trick nine
Speaker 2: that when his like uh, people lift him up, he
Speaker 2: still running like you know when you like put a
Speaker 2: dog over like water and they like swim like with
Speaker 2: their legs. He was doing that in real life. But
Speaker 2: like jogging. He was like, and there's a photo of
Speaker 2: him sitting in like this buggy and he's like like
Speaker 2: he's literally like freaking the feting my birthday.
Speaker 1: This is what we're doing. You got to get that
Speaker 1: pick of me and Auber.
Speaker 2: I would literally do rap poison just because it sounds fun.
Speaker 2: But this dude in three hours and twenty minutes lost
Speaker 2: eight pounds and I'm like, damn, like skinny, like skinny, skinny, skinny,
Speaker 2: Like I need to do that.
Speaker 1: Like so basically he walked away like a triple winner.
Speaker 2: Yes exactly, that's why. And on the race, in the race, so.
Speaker 1: He was, but did he he What's crazy is he
Speaker 1: didn't get to hit Roosevelt's daughter.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, like but him, come on, but
Speaker 2: yeah he he won the real race, the skinny race,
Speaker 2: And yeah he came out in the closet and was
Speaker 2: a winner. Wait what if I told you that I
Speaker 2: made all of that up?
Speaker 1: I would like, seriously think you need psychiatric house.
Speaker 2: I made all that up?
Speaker 1: Did you actually know?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: I believe They're like, damn, you're so creative.
Speaker 1: Like I was just like, damn, we gotta take that
Speaker 1: iPad away from you. And take you outside.
Speaker 2: I have that baby, But no, that's like obviously nineteen
Speaker 2: oh four stories, so there's like a lot of like
Speaker 2: fucking lies in there, but like, yeah, it's crazy. Also,
Speaker 2: there was just like a lot of weird, funky shit
Speaker 2: going on like previously with that Olympics, and like it
Speaker 2: was just it was a really really humans are.
Speaker 1: So bored, Like we are literally.
Speaker 2: Sod the Olympics, Like it's so so fucking so funny.
Speaker 1: It's literally like, dude, let's see how good we could
Speaker 1: get it doing a.
Speaker 2: Flood, Let's see how good we can throw this ball,
Speaker 2: Like it's so cool, so weird, dude, they need to
Speaker 2: do the sex Olympics because I'd probably went gold like
Speaker 2: in most of the categories, like most sex had like
Speaker 2: gooddest at sex, like biggest penis, like that's bob. I
Speaker 2: would went all those categories.
Speaker 1: I don't think, so.
Speaker 2: All right, well, I'll leave you off with one more thing.
Speaker 2: And I was watching a TikTok and this dude like
Speaker 2: fell down that slide and like one of the comments
Speaker 2: was like, oh he gave us like a whimpering audio
Speaker 2: or something, and it was highlighted blue, and I was
Speaker 2: like I shouldn't click that. I really I should not
Speaker 2: click what that blue text right now because it's gonna
Speaker 2: be the worst thing I've ever fucking heard in my life.
Speaker 1: And you can link stuff in TikTok comments now.
Speaker 2: I don't know how they did it, but like it
Speaker 2: was like blue in the comment and I clicked on it,
Speaker 2: and what I found is the most appalling, horrific, craziest
Speaker 2: shit ever. It's just a bunch of like blank screens
Speaker 2: with exclamation points saying turn it up, turn it up,
Speaker 2: like literally just like in headphones, like and it's like
Speaker 2: it's a Whimper challenge and it's fuck uh.
Speaker 1: Stops ups all dude.
Speaker 2: It's like it literally was the most horrific thing I've
Speaker 2: ever stumbled upon. And it's literally just like fucking they're
Speaker 2: all boomers. They're all like do you remember that silhouette
Speaker 2: challenge where like people would get naked in the doorframe
Speaker 2: and it was just like all really fucking old people.
Speaker 2: Like I'm literally read like that like was fucked up,
Speaker 2: but like yeah, it's literally.
Speaker 1: Those same like humans are so funny because how are
Speaker 1: you that horny that like you're like.
Speaker 2: Like laying meat on a fucking like it's so insane.
Speaker 2: A silhouette of your like dong hanging between your legs,
Speaker 2: Like it's crazy, that's really gross.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well.
Speaker 1: You don't have any Drew Sype. Actually I have a side.
Speaker 2: I do have a bunch. Actually I completely forgot about that.
Speaker 1: Fuck wait, I have one for you.
Speaker 2: There's this thing called Ghost Kids and their Industry Plant Gorillas,
Speaker 2: and it's the craziest shit I've ever seen in my
Speaker 2: entire life. Yeah, there's like Industry Plant Gorillas now, like
Speaker 2: the band the Gorillas, And they posted a flyer of
Speaker 2: Rolling Loud and was like, oh, we're like gonna be
Speaker 2: playing Rolling Aloud, and everyone was like, who the fuck
Speaker 2: are you know you're not? Why are you lying? And
Speaker 2: everybody thought it was like this Drew Sye op corn
Speaker 2: when the face id fucking up and I got a.
Speaker 1: Lock in, Like our phones really make us serve to
Speaker 1: it to like like sometimes it just fuck. He has
Speaker 1: to be like.
Speaker 2: Like you gotta lock in, you gotta lock in. But yeah,
Speaker 2: the you know you're the Gorillas, uh, industry plant they
Speaker 2: said they were performing Rolling Loud, and even Rolling Loud
Speaker 2: was like, no, the fuck you're not, and everybody thought
Speaker 2: it was like.
Speaker 4: This big like.
Speaker 2: Uh like publicity stunt. Well, they literally did play Rolling
Speaker 2: Loud and they opened for Little Uzzy and like it's
Speaker 2: the craziest shit I've ever seen, and it is the
Speaker 2: most obvious industry plant I have ever seen in my
Speaker 2: entire life. And they have a song with like Vince
Speaker 2: Staples and like, I don't know, it's really really fucking
Speaker 2: bizarre and you should look up videos when you get
Speaker 2: a chance because it's so so weird, and like all
Speaker 2: of their accounts are like super fucking bodied, Like on
Speaker 2: TikTok they have like five million lives or followers and
Speaker 2: they get like one hundred thousand. I know, I'm literally
Speaker 2: about tomorrow. People probably say that because like, why the
Speaker 2: fuck do all of our views, like our videos get
Speaker 2: them any views? Like it's insane.
Speaker 1: It's because we bought them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we do bought our videos.
Speaker 1: Radios.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna get my charger media.
Speaker 3: Welcome to Drew Shy on corner.
Speaker 2: The zag got me thinking about tragedies that haven't even
Speaker 2: happened yet. March third, twenty twenty four. Damn, damn that
Speaker 2: was then, when that that was right before my birthday.
Speaker 2: Something bad is gonna happen. Okay, this one's good. Imagine
Speaker 2: giving me head and I yell out boring, don't come
Speaker 2: to my house. Uh, don't come to my house pouring
Speaker 2: big cups of juice. Washed up bitches. Love Throwback Thursday.
Speaker 2: That's literally me emergency in or calm release days is
Speaker 2: like the Super Bowl for people with crumbs in their bed.
Speaker 2: Burger can be like twenty nuggets for one dollar and
Speaker 2: fifty cents. Boy, that shit is left over BBL meat. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm a fly, a lucky follower out to my house
Speaker 2: and fuck them all day.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, I'm gonna start media. I don't have
Speaker 1: any movies or anything. Somebody was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's taking you so long to watch the fucking Sopranos
Speaker 1: because of the thing I posted. But that's a draft
Speaker 1: from like may uh that I made. But it is
Speaker 1: taking me forever. I only have, like, I only have
Speaker 1: twenty episodes left to watch, which is literally a full
Speaker 1: day worth.
Speaker 2: I heard y'all talking about it last night. They had
Speaker 2: like twenty one, and I also heard you talk shit
Speaker 2: about me briefly. You thought I was asleep and you
Speaker 2: were walking to the bathroom and you said something to someone,
Speaker 2: So you said my name?
Speaker 1: What did I say?
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I heard you and it woke
Speaker 2: me up immediately because I was like, oh wow, someone's
Speaker 2: talking about me. But you said it angriedly. I think
Speaker 2: you were talking to Josh, and I was like, oh wow,
Speaker 2: this is crazy.
Speaker 1: I don't remember talking.
Speaker 2: Everyone talked about me behind my back, and I.
Speaker 1: Talked shit right to your fucking face because I'm not
Speaker 1: fucking scared of you. How about that, oh Spring by
Speaker 1: Angel Olsen.
Speaker 2: Right, I'm going to need your phone too to go
Speaker 2: to the emergency in our comp playlist because my phone's dead.
Speaker 1: Glad Tidings by Van Morrison Drew Whimper challenge that only
Speaker 1: I have? Oh and honestly those are my only medias
Speaker 1: that I could give you today. Like, how about that?
Speaker 1: I don't really have much to give you if you've
Speaker 1: taken everything from me.
Speaker 2: That's my media challenge.
Speaker 1: I just got so tired.
Speaker 2: I actually I don't think I have any media.
Speaker 1: I don't think anybody cares about media. So how about that?
Speaker 2: I know literally no one cares. International by Outcast in.
Speaker 1: UGK Close to You the cranberrys cover. I was listening
Speaker 1: to that again because it's.
Speaker 2: So good Flimm by APHX twin Girl. There you fucking
Speaker 2: go Oh. I'm rewatching Death Note again for like the
Speaker 2: eighteenth time, and every time I watch it, it's so
Speaker 2: fucking good. Bruh, Like it is so good, all the
Speaker 2: twist and turns in the first two episodes, I'm like
Speaker 2: gagged every time, even even though I've seen it like
Speaker 2: one hundred times. I'm gagged every fucking time. And those
Speaker 2: goddamn apples, like I want to eat those fucking apples.
Speaker 2: So bad, so so, so so bad.
Speaker 1: Oh. My last actually media song is Sprung by Tea Pain,
Speaker 1: which I think I said last week, and then I
Speaker 1: heard it in a store yesterday and I haven't heard
Speaker 1: that in public since two thousand and nine.
Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever heard that song in public.
Speaker 1: Really, it was such a popular song.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, but also like the public I went to
Speaker 2: was Great and Berry and there were like eight stores total,
Speaker 2: and all of them were like.
Speaker 1: Grocery stores and they were playing a CD.
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, thank you guys so much for listening.
Speaker 2: I just want to apologize that I wasn't myself today.
Speaker 2: I'm going through a lot right now.
Speaker 1: He's lying. He's like not going through anything, so he
Speaker 1: just wanted to I don't tell you everything I got.
Speaker 2: Y'all don't know. Like that's the thing is, I keep
Speaker 2: a lot of things in into myself.
Speaker 1: Hey, you should be that. You should be open with me.
Speaker 2: Well, no, like men aren't.
Speaker 1: I'm going through like men stuff too.
Speaker 2: Men aren't. One, aren't allowed to cry too, don't cry.
Speaker 2: Men shouldn't go to therapy, yes, because like their p
Speaker 2: is for bitches and women like the.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, okay, that's a good way to lead the episode.
Speaker 1: All right, thank you guys for watching
Speaker 4: Sh