Speaker 1: Hi, guys, it's art and I'm so excited for this
Speaker 1: new sponsor that we have a box arrived for me
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago from Juice Beauty and my friend,
Speaker 1: you know, I got the box and my friend goes,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that's Juice Beauty. That stuff so awesome.
Speaker 1: You know. They it's all natural. They sell it it
Speaker 1: like Whole Foods. They sell it. It' even Marcus like
Speaker 1: this stuff is great. She's like, You're gonna love that.
Speaker 1: And I'm always sort of nervous about trying new products
Speaker 1: on my skin because I break out really easily, and um,
Speaker 1: you know, I'll be honest with you. As a real
Speaker 1: redhead living in the sun, I need all the moisture
Speaker 1: I could get. I am always dehydrated and I've been
Speaker 1: using all their products and it is like the best company.
Speaker 1: I It's really great. So they want you to know
Speaker 1: that your skin can absorb up to six of what
Speaker 1: you put on it, so it goes on your skin
Speaker 1: should be as important as what is in your body.
Speaker 1: And Juice Beauty it's a skincare and makeup line that's
Speaker 1: made with certified organic ingredients with the promise to always
Speaker 1: formulate without potentially harmful ingredients. It's from the town that
Speaker 1: Katie grew up in, and it's this woman made it,
Speaker 1: and it's it's a really cool company if you even
Speaker 1: research like the history of it. I've really enjoyed the
Speaker 1: Juice Beauty mess Scara. I've really enjoyed the Juice Beauty
Speaker 1: Stem Cellular anti wrinkle moisturizer. Um, it's really cool. I
Speaker 1: always love a good primer. They have a Fido Pigments primer, which,
Speaker 1: like you know, I out all day and I'm vain
Speaker 1: and so I want my makeup this day on. And
Speaker 1: I also love the green apple brightening emulsion. It smells
Speaker 1: really good and it just sort of makes me feel fresh.
Speaker 1: And I gotta tell you, I love this stuff. I'm
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Speaker 1: I hope you really like it. I love it. I'm
Speaker 1: really excited for this new sponsor. Okay, hie, hi boo,
Speaker 1: don't be sad. The season is almost over. We have
Speaker 1: a surprise for you. Will you accept this? Rose is
Speaker 1: now on Patreon if you don't know what that is.
Speaker 1: It's sort of a service that you can subscribe to
Speaker 1: for like five bucks a month, and we're gonna do
Speaker 1: bonus episodes. Oh my god, I know it's crazy. We're
Speaker 1: gonna do interviews with contestants. Laurie and I might go
Speaker 1: on a little road trip our bachelor historian. You know,
Speaker 1: let us know what you want us to do. Bonus
Speaker 1: episodes about if you're Jones and for us between now
Speaker 1: and the end of May. But it's going to be
Speaker 1: a year round thing and it's more just to interact
Speaker 1: with you guys. So if you go to www dot
Speaker 1: patreon dot com, slash w y a t R and
Speaker 1: there's all different levels and you can get all sorts
Speaker 1: of fun stuff. Anna can photo shop the falcon's hair
Speaker 1: onto one of your loved one's faces and make a
Speaker 1: crazy flyer for you, things like that. So we're so
Speaker 1: excited about it, and I can't wait for you to
Speaker 1: let us know what you think. Take you and feels good.
Speaker 1: I feel good. Yeah, I mean it's a little tinny. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it feels underwater. Even was suppressed. Oh say, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: That's disappointing, is ours? Oh my god, it's sort of disappropriate.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. You guys welcome to Will you accept
Speaker 1: this rose? I feel that that was an appropriate audio
Speaker 1: quality for the show that we saw last night. My
Speaker 1: name is Art Murray, and welcome to this merry ship show.
Speaker 1: What a dozy, what a show we have for you today.
Speaker 1: I feel like, okay, let me just get to let's shot. Okay.
Speaker 1: First of all, to my right is a woman who
Speaker 1: got put into the penalty box for one week. I apologize,
Speaker 1: but she's back and she's wearing a don't glam Shamy
Speaker 1: t shirts satilized by one of our fans. That's right,
Speaker 1: she got punished. She got punished. We have the rules
Speaker 1: of the game. I forgot we had rules. Only one
Speaker 1: rule already would have been punished because he said I
Speaker 1: love you to do too many people and there was
Speaker 1: a total tool. But while I was in the penalty box,
Speaker 1: I told everybody loved them. You're engaged to the guy
Speaker 1: that works at the at the shell station and fully,
Speaker 1: but I don't fully missed you. I missed you, guys. Aaron,
Speaker 1: how are you look great? And you don't glam shamy
Speaker 1: T shirt? Listen, I've showered, I pulled an all night
Speaker 1: or just stopping holding myself going back and uh now
Speaker 1: I'm here, thrilled to be. Do you have anything you
Speaker 1: upcoming shows you want to promote? Love? Yes, this Thursday
Speaker 1: through Sunday l O L Comedy Club in San Antonio
Speaker 1: ll L. Let's let's try to get people there. Well,
Speaker 1: you know what. I will also be in Texas l
Speaker 1: O Ling, but not that week, and I will be
Speaker 1: there in Dallas at Hyena's doing my Hyena political commentary
Speaker 1: at Hyenas April fifth, th seventh. I'm also going to
Speaker 1: Alaska March seventeen, and we're all going to Moon Tower
Speaker 1: the weekend of April. They tell I got an email today.
Speaker 1: They're gonna tell us the exact date the last week
Speaker 1: of March, and I'll email you guys. Okay, to my left,
Speaker 1: the man who is we accept this Rose Bachelor of
Speaker 1: the Year two seventeen and you're definitely the best bachelor
Speaker 1: in America. And I gotta tell you you also know
Speaker 1: him as God from Supernatural but he is mostly my
Speaker 1: friend Robert Benaday. I'm look very handsome. And if you
Speaker 1: get a haircut, you get a cut. Did you get
Speaker 1: a beard? Trip? Heard you like real regal? Thank you?
Speaker 1: I like. I like your guns and Roses T shirts.
Speaker 1: Everything is work. Your prayer breeds, your prayer breed and
Speaker 1: do you need them? Just for ari just to get
Speaker 1: through this? You need any Do you have any shows
Speaker 1: you want to promote. I'm doing us. My band's doing
Speaker 1: a stage at show next week. Stage at dot com.
Speaker 1: Go check out Loud and Swain. It's on Friday afternoon.
Speaker 1: Rob great performer. You go to stage at dot com.
Speaker 1: It's the coolest thing. And then you people can buy
Speaker 1: tickets and then they see us give a private show
Speaker 1: and you can do it. You know, like three people
Speaker 1: online watching the show. Oh you watch from your couch.
Speaker 1: You can watch from the couch, watch us on our couch.
Speaker 1: Given like any Oh you're in your couch and I
Speaker 1: watch on my couch. I love couches. It's like a
Speaker 1: private living room. And eventually no one will leave their
Speaker 1: house and humanity, that's the idea. Speaking of not leaving
Speaker 1: your house, I don't like to leave my house and
Speaker 1: it's hard for me to make friends. And I made
Speaker 1: a friend this year. I left my house and I
Speaker 1: went to Atlanta, and I made a friend. As my
Speaker 1: mom says, she's a real pistol, she's a realist. She's
Speaker 1: also you're part of the team. Now you're officially and
Speaker 1: you're no longer than newbie. You are. You were Rookie
Speaker 1: of the Year, you know, but you're Rookie of the Year.
Speaker 1: You have an official title. You're our first rookie of
Speaker 1: the Year. You may know her from Sweet Life on Deck,
Speaker 1: You're gonna know her from Instatiable on Netflix this summer,
Speaker 1: but mostly I know her as my best pistol and
Speaker 1: rookie of the Year. Miss Debbie Rams. Oh my god, Debbie, Debbie,
Speaker 1: this was your first Bachelor season. I don't remember a
Speaker 1: time before this happened to me. Was it a was
Speaker 1: it like? Was it you thought you were just gonna
Speaker 1: watch like one or two, do the pod and then
Speaker 1: get out. That's what I thought. I thought. Maybe I
Speaker 1: would get to like four or five and then I
Speaker 1: would like swing back for the finale if it meant anything,
Speaker 1: And tell me just overall every second Antell and you
Speaker 1: also watched in her Winter Games and tell all and
Speaker 1: are you gonna watch Bachelorette? Yeah, I'm so excited. I
Speaker 1: almost started one. Like the other day, I was like,
Speaker 1: Caitlyn Calin's was a great one, Kitlins, Caitlin was a
Speaker 1: great one. I gotta tell you, You've been such a
Speaker 1: hit with the fans. People love you. They just like
Speaker 1: they just are so yeah really gold Well, it's it's
Speaker 1: like a hardcore fan base. I've been like very welcomed
Speaker 1: and I've been very thing. Yeah, you know you're on
Speaker 1: You're you're so fucking in the fold. And none of
Speaker 1: us leave our houses, so like when we comm it's
Speaker 1: like we're in a cave and it's a secret society
Speaker 1: and we're all safe here. Um. We also have with
Speaker 1: us two women without this who it would not be possible.
Speaker 1: The woman who I had a favorite dream and contacted
Speaker 1: Sight Unseen. She said yes, miss Katie Living and to
Speaker 1: her left this woman who helped me work on a
Speaker 1: website all weekend, which we'll talk about. It'll be it'll
Speaker 1: be an intro about that. Um. She we have I
Speaker 1: have a funny story, miss Annah. There's my quick funny story. Anna.
Speaker 1: You might want to get on the mic for two
Speaker 1: seconds for this. So this weekend, Anna and I hung
Speaker 1: out and there was a surprise party for Katie, and um,
Speaker 1: I was like, it turns out I've never been to
Speaker 1: a surprise party. It built. It turns out that I'm
Speaker 1: like built, like. I was so fucking excited to surprise her.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be late. I didn't want to
Speaker 1: missing Anna. You saw me worry about, like worried the
Speaker 1: entire crowd literally giving directions to yeah and I don't
Speaker 1: want to and I had like and I was like
Speaker 1: kicking up and like literally it was like a bunch
Speaker 1: of like twenty five year old nerd dudes who were liked,
Speaker 1: who were like literally like but I laughed, and there
Speaker 1: was a sea of people not talking to each other,
Speaker 1: just playing trivia and looking at a screen. But but
Speaker 1: when so I was all excited. I was on the
Speaker 1: mic going, Okay, here's how it's gonna go. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go three to one. You say, surprise. I wasn't like
Speaker 1: a white ruffle clown out. Okay. So then Katie, you're
Speaker 1: like christin wig and snl yes, yes, yes, So Katie
Speaker 1: shuffles in. I'm the first person she sees my I mean, Anna, Anna,
Speaker 1: you were arms out like jazz hands, full jazz hands,
Speaker 1: Like how excited about that? You were? So you were
Speaker 1: like I was born for surprise, and I was like stop.
Speaker 1: Katie looked at me and she goes, what the fund
Speaker 1: is this? She shoved past me. She's shop fastinated, yes,
Speaker 1: she is. Your birthday was the surprise. It was a
Speaker 1: job change. She's leaving Nerdus and Chris left, Chris Hardwick
Speaker 1: left Nerdess and I did that, showed at you. I
Speaker 1: was so confused because I said, no idea, what was happening?
Speaker 1: And I was like, think of myself, like is it
Speaker 1: my birthday? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, just like what is this?
Speaker 1: And then and then the reason I shried Katie because
Speaker 1: then because then I said who did this? And Anthony
Speaker 1: said Aristotle, aristotleide and then I had to find Aristotle
Speaker 1: so that I didn't I didn't see the tears, I
Speaker 1: saw the disdain. I saw you take out a gun
Speaker 1: and we all ducked, and party wasn't the idea of
Speaker 1: you like like knocks you to the side. And then
Speaker 1: I go, Katy, Katy, your friend make Scout cupcakes? Yeah,
Speaker 1: your friend maid Scout cupcakes? And she goes I just
Speaker 1: had to fire. Oh my god. It was like, wow,
Speaker 1: the most awkward beginning to it. It was it was
Speaker 1: you know, there's there's there's changes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Speaker 1: it was. He was fine, fine, terrible, truly, Like my
Speaker 1: favorite part is art and walks over to me after
Speaker 1: the surprise, and I was like, was that fulfilling for you?
Speaker 1: It was like not really, that was fine. I was safe.
Speaker 1: I was just like because like they just it was like,
Speaker 1: you know, the nerd turn party here? Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. I was so excited. Arnon's first surprise party
Speaker 1: is something I would She was the best, But I'm
Speaker 1: going to disappointment. They were like, what the surprise party?
Speaker 1: You know, because it's like your birthday or an anniversary.
Speaker 1: And you're like, oh yeah, of course, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I sorry for the sake of a surprise party. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's let's go. I was so confute wanted a surprise.
Speaker 1: I can't wait. Do you get disgruntingly engaged? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Is here myself a surprise birthday party?
Speaker 1: One time you did? How do you do that? You
Speaker 1: tell everyone to come at seven and you tell them
Speaker 1: you'll be there at seven thirty and when you come
Speaker 1: in to jump out and say surprise, and I wanted
Speaker 1: one so bad no one had it was when it
Speaker 1: turned fortier. Wait a minute, I love that so much.
Speaker 1: You were the same animal. We were born to have surprise.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna give you a surprise. I'm gonna start
Speaker 1: surprise party for no reason. It's gonna be April, It's
Speaker 1: gonna be it's gonna be for no reason. I'm gonna,
Speaker 1: I promise you, I'm gonna throw you a surprise party
Speaker 1: and all my friends, these four people are going to
Speaker 1: be there. Oh my god, here's your surprise party thing. Okay,
Speaker 1: you guys, here we go. Get ready party right there,
Speaker 1: you guys. Oh my god, here we go. So we're
Speaker 1: at the finale. Chris Harrison had such a fucking heart on.
Speaker 1: He was so excited that ship went down, like he
Speaker 1: could not handle it. In the scene of all those
Speaker 1: jewel toned ladies waiting in the in the like for
Speaker 1: the after whatever, the finale, and he kept saying the
Speaker 1: freeze the climactic scene uncut. I'm like, are you trying
Speaker 1: to make it sound like a porn like? Uncut? Climactic uncut?
Speaker 1: Like the whole time we were just say. Every time
Speaker 1: you said that, I would go like, let's just out
Speaker 1: to the chaser for one second. I don't care if
Speaker 1: somebody changes their mind to bring two camera people with you.
Speaker 1: You are a piece of shoite. You're a demon. You're
Speaker 1: a demon. And not only that, well of course that,
Speaker 1: but part B the way he said it, I literally
Speaker 1: was like it was it was like what not to do?
Speaker 1: One oh one? He just kept saying. He basically was like, listen,
Speaker 1: the more I'd spend time with you, my fiance, the
Speaker 1: less time I'm gonna get with my new lover Lauren. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling like I don't say more with you, and
Speaker 1: the more I feel like the doors closing on the
Speaker 1: other one. I used to band he could have FaceTime
Speaker 1: outside of Lauren's house, he would have facetimer and broke
Speaker 1: up with Becca and then and then was that not
Speaker 1: the most confusing layout of a house you've ever seen?
Speaker 1: How long was I understand the house? I felt like
Speaker 1: I was like at a screen like this, get I
Speaker 1: get out, get out, Like it was like the shining
Speaker 1: and he wouldn't leave that motherfuck When she said don't
Speaker 1: touch me, I feel like she said it for the
Speaker 1: whole country. Yeah, Oh my god, I said, don't touch me.
Speaker 1: This is a true fact. At the same time as
Speaker 1: she was like yeah, I said, I was like, don't
Speaker 1: touch me. Yes. My brother was like, you felt violated,
Speaker 1: you fell in. It was like an acting exercise like
Speaker 1: Leslie Khan. Did anybody did anyone get like absolute, like
Speaker 1: immediate flashbacks of every breakup they've ever been, like the
Speaker 1: most horrible way. I was like, oh, I remember. My
Speaker 1: reaction was like a football game, a little bit, tell him,
Speaker 1: tell him to go, tell him to go. Yeah, she
Speaker 1: wants you to go. Yeah, And then she's asked you
Speaker 1: I wanted her. I was waiting for her to be like,
Speaker 1: you know, like I to go, Like how many fucking times?
Speaker 1: How many times I did? Like a lot a few
Speaker 1: people to you did us that there was a moment
Speaker 1: he left and then he came back and he said
Speaker 1: that he left He's sang a couple of bars of
Speaker 1: lam iss the Oh my god. Our fans were so
Speaker 1: sweet because they because Okay, Anna and I like, they're
Speaker 1: spoilers everywhere, and I felt like the fans knew, like
Speaker 1: and other people out there had been spoiled, and they
Speaker 1: kept warning. They're like, so eventually one asshole tweeted up,
Speaker 1: but I don't think it was one of our fans,
Speaker 1: and I appreciate our fans were trying to protect us.
Speaker 1: So I just actually went off of social media for
Speaker 1: a week. It's on the cover of all the of
Speaker 1: all the tabloids. I was in the grocery store with yeah,
Speaker 1: did you say actively looking away? I had to turn magazine.
Speaker 1: We protected you, baby's because you're working of the year,
Speaker 1: because you did you did you know? Honestly, were you
Speaker 1: unspoiled before I was Rookie of the Year, Rookie of
Speaker 1: the Year. I was not easy. We only keep our
Speaker 1: rookies unsulid. I didn't stop Chris Harrison though, from Yeah.
Speaker 1: So one of those dudes that they brought out, Jason
Speaker 1: Mesnick is that his name Mesnick. He's like, they wheeled
Speaker 1: this dude out who did the exact same thing, but
Speaker 1: on after the Final Roads. So it's like all season
Speaker 1: it's been Shawn Lowe that they kept wheeling out as
Speaker 1: a former bachelor. Now they're wheeling out the dude that
Speaker 1: did this. It's like it was like the biggest clue
Speaker 1: card yeah. Everyone, it's like pull a Mesnick Like that
Speaker 1: was like the thing throughout all the Bachelor, don't pull
Speaker 1: a Mesnick. And then you're like, oh the dude sitting there, Okay,
Speaker 1: here we got and then we're in. We're in. Oh god. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's so psyched Caroline. She's I feel like she's he's
Speaker 1: vying for um. That's a good call. She's at least
Speaker 1: vying for Mexico. She's at least vying a good apparent
Speaker 1: because she didn't get much of airtime during the year.
Speaker 1: But she's a hot lady. You sh'll probably like cute
Speaker 1: in ni bikini and she like was like fighting her
Speaker 1: way to get and I think she probably succeeded. I
Speaker 1: know what you did last her as an older horror
Speaker 1: movie millennials anyway. So he's in the Jewel Tones or
Speaker 1: in Peru. There there's all these alpacas everywhere they go
Speaker 1: to the J. W. Marriott are. He's walking around with
Speaker 1: this man purse and lounging on a bed and um, Lauren,
Speaker 1: she's a rainbow and she has champagne and her journals
Speaker 1: and she's writing like what the fund is? In Lauren's journal?
Speaker 1: Every time I write dear diaryem hammered because I've already
Speaker 1: drank one bottle of champagne. Who the funk writes in
Speaker 1: your journal with a glass of champage Champagne is celebrating journals.
Speaker 1: I'm going to bet my journal. Can I just get like?
Speaker 1: I don't like a Champagne's done thirty in the morning,
Speaker 1: Bottle up, please bring a bottle like? And the most
Speaker 1: personality now, Debbie's protective of her. Debbie's protective of her. Lauren, Okay, Debbie,
Speaker 1: Why why Debbie? Because I'm in denial that that's it,
Speaker 1: that all we're seeing is all of it. You think
Speaker 1: there's gotta Be's gotta be Yeah, there's gotta be more.
Speaker 1: And she's an inch over did and she you know, Okay,
Speaker 1: I think that it's a little bit more that and
Speaker 1: a little bit of like because when she came out
Speaker 1: of her shell, she really came out of her shell.
Speaker 1: I think most of her personalities on the covering room floor.
Speaker 1: Is that what you're going with? I think no, I
Speaker 1: think we're seeing a lot of what there is. I
Speaker 1: do think I had it. I had a really hot
Speaker 1: boyfriend in high school that I kept saying. It's like
Speaker 1: he's just really shy. And it turns out he was
Speaker 1: just such a dud. He was also a dick. He
Speaker 1: was he was like an it was he was like
Speaker 1: an R. Yeah he was. It was. It was bad
Speaker 1: news car no, but it was like it was like
Speaker 1: like it just kept trying to make him because he
Speaker 1: was so cute. I wanted him to be interesting. He wasn't.
Speaker 1: There was that mystery was that he was sucking my
Speaker 1: friends like, yeah, that's a mystery. I know what you
Speaker 1: did last summer tweens again. That's the second reference that
Speaker 1: came out a sequel that was like I knew what
Speaker 1: you did. I know what you did last summer before.
Speaker 1: So then he have known what you have done, sir.
Speaker 1: So then so then he goes, we're talking to the
Speaker 1: lion Dykes. He's talking to dad. He goes, I love
Speaker 1: him both, and his dad gives him a thumbs up
Speaker 1: and he goes, good luck, batty. Oh my god, so
Speaker 1: phoning it in, Oh my god, father could give a
Speaker 1: funk about what happened. And so then Lauren shows up
Speaker 1: and she goes, how's it and he goes, have fun,
Speaker 1: be yourself, and she walked in and she looked like
Speaker 1: every woman in the family. One of those daughter in
Speaker 1: law looks captured. One of them looks captured. Um when
Speaker 1: she said, what's it like to marry into the Lion Dykes,
Speaker 1: and she was like, wow, it's always interesting. Never a
Speaker 1: dull woman and the lion Dyke like she wants out.
Speaker 1: Did anybody see her lift the flare gun overhead? And
Speaker 1: then did they cut away on the flare gun? I
Speaker 1: saw the flare guy, she said, She said, Lion Dyke, like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe my name is yeah, never at all.
Speaker 1: Moment with the lion dice and in response as proof,
Speaker 1: everyone just goes, yeah, I'm not allowed my captin I'm blinking. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're all. We've all we go to Disneyland once a year.
Speaker 1: And then there's another woman who does a big fand
Speaker 1: Disney that's true. That family, Okay, so then we have um.
Speaker 1: So then there's one sister who we don't actually meet,
Speaker 1: or one sister in law. She's a little more hardcore.
Speaker 1: She's got a cute wing eye on her eyeliner. She goes,
Speaker 1: do you have real conversations with Lauren? Silence, He goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's good point. By the way, it took me seventeen
Speaker 1: hours to transfer. Someone asked me this morning, I'm not
Speaker 1: a huge drinker, as you, I don't really partake. I
Speaker 1: literally had a person who knows me pretty well all
Speaker 1: go this morning. Are you hungover? Because I look like
Speaker 1: such ship because it was so long and transcribing this motherfucker?
Speaker 1: I mean, thank you, dude? Are you? And I also
Speaker 1: felt emotionally hungover. It wasn't just the hours, it was
Speaker 1: more just like it was the trauma more than the hour.
Speaker 1: And then it was like an hour of pacing after
Speaker 1: then coming down contemplating ripping the ball sax all. You
Speaker 1: know how comfortable I am here on ball? Oh you
Speaker 1: love balls. You've got a beautiful balls necklace on right now.
Speaker 1: It's like a passive fire. It's like your safe place.
Speaker 1: It's like my way to blanket is your necklace. We'll
Speaker 1: have a code for a discount for the Balls Network necklace.
Speaker 1: You got all balls, all ballast. You got a nice
Speaker 1: balls right in the tropical. It's just your tea bag
Speaker 1: in your classic. I'm sorry, mom, Mom's back from I
Speaker 1: was back from Marrakesh a bar slow, sorry, ma'am. Okay,
Speaker 1: So Maka starts going Mica starts going, she had a
Speaker 1: good time. She loved Barcelona, Uh, Marrakesh. She got tired
Speaker 1: of bartering Janet Marine from a little company. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: she liked Marrakesh, loved Barcelona anyway, so problem, she's sexy,
Speaker 1: like she she thinks you're a pisto. Let's go to Barcelona.
Speaker 1: She goes like this, my name is Janet Marine. Have
Speaker 1: little company rent you a summer rental for all your
Speaker 1: summer rental needs. Oh my god, it's a bad Spanish
Speaker 1: or lifelong list. My mom, My mom just has a
Speaker 1: list that's actually no. She goes, she gets worried about
Speaker 1: me that I have friends, and she's like, oh, you
Speaker 1: got a friend in Atlanta. You found She's a pistol.
Speaker 1: She's a she's a kick, She's a pistol. She's she's like,
Speaker 1: she's like you. She's like your a little friend there. Okay,
Speaker 1: she's like you. She's like a little friend. She's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you two are a bird of piece in a pot. Okay.
Speaker 1: So then Mika, the mom Laura starts crying and the
Speaker 1: mom was actually pretty say because the mom was a
Speaker 1: little cuckoo cra crazy when she was on the other season,
Speaker 1: she was pretty sweet and she goes It breaks my
Speaker 1: heart to see this. You should just stay positive. She
Speaker 1: was kind. I thought she was okay. She she was trying.
Speaker 1: It's hard to uh, it's hard to you know, stare
Speaker 1: directly at her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: going on with the face on that she's put on
Speaker 1: top of her original. But she was crying exactly. It's
Speaker 1: it's the older version of the woman. Yeah, too much castle. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know what if like you worked at if you
Speaker 1: worked at like Walking Dead, and if you had to
Speaker 1: do prosthetics, you could just do Crystal Mika. It breaks
Speaker 1: my heart when a woman's got a perfect face and
Speaker 1: then she keeps trying to put another face on her face,
Speaker 1: and then you get a mother. That's true. I I'm
Speaker 1: only on my third face right now, but I can't
Speaker 1: wait to add more. I'll have them if our show
Speaker 1: gets picked up. I'm gonna at least get three new
Speaker 1: faces between now in August. Is that if there's a
Speaker 1: if there's a bogo, I will go and get like three,
Speaker 1: get one free. There's a did you enjoy annas flare
Speaker 1: Anna's flyre a Bogo boogie me Anna attacking and Dell
Speaker 1: getting yourself. Every week, Anna out does herself. Anna is
Speaker 1: a fucking wizard. Okay. So then we have on our website,
Speaker 1: on the new Patreon, there's gonna be a thing where
Speaker 1: you can join the Falcon Club and you can nominate
Speaker 1: your friend and Anna will falcon your friend and put
Speaker 1: them in the background of her choosing maybe on like
Speaker 1: a banana jet ski with fireworks going off of a waterfall.
Speaker 1: Maybe you know, like who knows what she but you can.
Speaker 1: You can submit a photo and have them falcon to
Speaker 1: put the falcon hair and Anna, I will just do um. Okay.
Speaker 1: So then Becca, Becca has reservations, She's torn. They keep
Speaker 1: breaking up. Ecca to Lauren, well not as much as
Speaker 1: you did the next day, and then they go it
Speaker 1: is his problem either way. I'm okay either way, I'm
Speaker 1: fine with it. Okay, here we go, So here we go.
Speaker 1: So now Becca shows up. Sorry, this was awkward. You
Speaker 1: can cut that little awkward part down. Becca shows up
Speaker 1: and about they don't fucking stop talking about Lauren. It
Speaker 1: was rude. Clearly they fanned the family. They fanned the
Speaker 1: flames with the family, like clearly, I think I mean
Speaker 1: my interview, they did I'm sure, but my interpretation was
Speaker 1: that Lauren really pulled on their heartstrings because she was crying.
Speaker 1: She was trying because she doesn't know, she doesn't speak, yeah,
Speaker 1: and she just cries all the time. She seems sincere,
Speaker 1: like she seems like a sincere person, but she's like
Speaker 1: a sweet, sincere little It's like she like exists to
Speaker 1: like hold him and beheld. Yeah, probably what they love.
Speaker 1: They're like, oh my god, he's they're obsessed with him. Yes,
Speaker 1: like porcelain dollars. She's like yeah, but also yeah. But
Speaker 1: then at the end of it, they pick family. Yea,
Speaker 1: they all picked Becca. They just ship on Becca to
Speaker 1: Becca and then they picked back and I think that's
Speaker 1: day than I don't know, I think the family. I
Speaker 1: have a theory to the family when they were like
Speaker 1: meeting Laura and had no idea where to start what
Speaker 1: to do because they had never like seen him this
Speaker 1: way with like a person, like a very long time.
Speaker 1: So they were like, oh, wow, they're really familiar, like
Speaker 1: they found love on this content. And then Beca came
Speaker 1: in and they were like, okay, wait, we just saw that.
Speaker 1: We saw this. It's a completely different thing, but also
Speaker 1: seems just as real, like what's the deal? So, like,
Speaker 1: how do you feel about that? I don't think that
Speaker 1: it really occurred to them that he was intimacy with
Speaker 1: two people. It's also we had to remember we're a
Speaker 1: couple of days out the producers. I'm hoping that this
Speaker 1: means that Beck is the bachelorette because I feel like
Speaker 1: the producers were sabotaging her. They sent that fucking psycho
Speaker 1: boyfriend that's like I'm going to get off like so
Speaker 1: like that. I'm sure she had an next fiance, Laura,
Speaker 1: and they didn't send him, you know, Like I was like, Debbie,
Speaker 1: why did you send her? About? So? Yeah, and they
Speaker 1: sent Lauren to Machu Picchu, and they sent they sent
Speaker 1: Becca to like a fucking pat pet and heel packet
Speaker 1: and go to the market, like like the really craped
Speaker 1: on Becca. It's such a superstar. I wonder if they
Speaker 1: wanted to keep she better be the bad I bet
Speaker 1: I wonder if they wanted to keep her because because
Speaker 1: they were basically sabotaging. Yeah, they have to make them
Speaker 1: that they make the announced to they announced they announced
Speaker 1: it tonight, Yeah, because they have to start filming. Although
Speaker 1: I wanted the fog with Lauren and Ari was my okay,
Speaker 1: we're not okay. So then here we go. So then
Speaker 1: the dad goes at this point, I'd be happy with
Speaker 1: either both of you were fine, I feel good. I'm
Speaker 1: happy with either of you and roasted and Beca just
Speaker 1: wanted to kill herself. That's savage though. Yeah, that was
Speaker 1: so rude. So it's also so like, as a woman,
Speaker 1: it's like, you're both pretty ladies. Do you both seem
Speaker 1: fine just plugging the pretty lady? Yeah, Like do you
Speaker 1: want somebody challenging and they're also more compatible to your life? Still,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, like Lauren will just be passive and you
Speaker 1: can just plug her in, whereas Becca has like she's
Speaker 1: not even that challenging. She's pretty fucking accommodating. As I
Speaker 1: was like to say that from like your father, the father, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, it was it was growing
Speaker 1: and listen, it could be they could have edited out
Speaker 1: some nice things that he said, but the fact that
Speaker 1: came out of his mouth, but then cut to the
Speaker 1: end of the episode, you're like, oh, like father, like Anna.
Speaker 1: The disconnect was so gross. That was my worst nightmare
Speaker 1: of realizing like just the foreign father. Yeah, like just
Speaker 1: no no ability to be like, just don't say what
Speaker 1: you're thinking. Like I was just having fears like if
Speaker 1: my dad was on here, yeah, oh like it would
Speaker 1: be a mess, and just like don't be like like
Speaker 1: considerate to her. Don't bring up the other like that
Speaker 1: thing he said about like I could go with either one.
Speaker 1: It's like that's what my father would say, my Dava said.
Speaker 1: My Da would have said that too. My dad would
Speaker 1: just go, is this a show? People watch this? What
Speaker 1: are you doing? Oh my god? My dad will just
Speaker 1: be asking if I want his health insurance. That's a
Speaker 1: good point. That's a good point. Um, how the churance
Speaker 1: is not cheap? And guess what accidents happened guys. Um
Speaker 1: so then so then when I love Rebecca said, Laura
Speaker 1: and I are so different. It's like trying to compare
Speaker 1: an apple to starfish. She's right, I assume she's the star.
Speaker 1: She's got to be the star. She's the starfish. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that. I think Lauren's the apple. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean inanimate. I mean I love a good apple.
Speaker 1: And if it was like a honey Chris, you know,
Speaker 1: just like a like a starfish on the beach is
Speaker 1: like washed up in time. Yeah, and I'd be like that, Lauren.
Speaker 1: That would be Laura so interesting. You know that it
Speaker 1: depends with snarrow. You're using the apple. I'm teaching and
Speaker 1: I'm doing a movement workshop adjunct at Loyal and Therrimount
Speaker 1: called Moving with Purpose and the Apple Starfish. And then
Speaker 1: we're gonna do a lot of sense. We're gonna do
Speaker 1: a lot of exercises to find out if you're an
Speaker 1: apple or star That's right, it's a great class. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be teaching a children's class called what Comes from
Speaker 1: Land and what Comes from c Apple. That's guy, We've
Speaker 1: got the study of Virginia Woolf. Anyway, we saw a
Speaker 1: cute lamb with flowers and um, and then I knew
Speaker 1: Katie like that. I knew I we all like that.
Speaker 1: So then we have UM. They're like, oh, it's a
Speaker 1: tough it's a tough choice. One's a better fit for
Speaker 1: my lifestyle, one may par says, And then you know
Speaker 1: the sister in law has captured oyes. And then I
Speaker 1: will say, when the family wants the person that is,
Speaker 1: they never win in the end, because it's an immediate
Speaker 1: boner kill. Learn if your mom is like I think
Speaker 1: I think Carl is a really good choice. I'm like,
Speaker 1: fuck Carl. All that means Carl is like not sexy
Speaker 1: and I want bad boy Jake, you know that. And
Speaker 1: also I think always always with the women. I think
Speaker 1: he chooses Becca at first because he's like, I don't
Speaker 1: know who to do, but wow, my family likes it
Speaker 1: makes most sense. His his body language was like like
Speaker 1: everyone's like Becca, and he's just like no the whole time.
Speaker 1: Then it's like, then why are you asking? And he's
Speaker 1: thirty six, Like at a certain point, like you don't
Speaker 1: go to your family for these exactly, yeah, exactly, don't
Speaker 1: get here. If I had asked Mary and Dick Pholo
Speaker 1: who I should end up with, well, it would have
Speaker 1: been a man. It would have been Chris Harris. It
Speaker 1: wouldn't have been it would have been my tatted young
Speaker 1: lovers tell you that, do you like a girl with
Speaker 1: a tattoo? Oh? I like, uh yeah, yeah, I like
Speaker 1: some tats, like some some sort of paths. I mean
Speaker 1: not not not like there's bodies not like yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: not like yeah. No. I like a little I like
Speaker 1: a little pepper. I like a little pepper in the pot.
Speaker 1: I like yeah, like a little little little I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't want to say I'm like drawn to like sleeves,
Speaker 1: but I like a little I like a little sass.
Speaker 1: I don't want Oh my god, I don't want. I
Speaker 1: don't want to know. I don't want to know where
Speaker 1: they've been and where they're going. Yeah, you know, that's
Speaker 1: a pretty wide nap in Los Angeles. That's basically anybody
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles like a little Yeah, this one's venice beautiful.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I have the most uninteresting place in
Speaker 1: calvod except for those canals. I love those canals. Okay,
Speaker 1: so then we have so then we're back at after
Speaker 1: the final rows and fucking what's her name? What's her car?
Speaker 1: Airline auditioning hard? What he did is unforgivable. It's like,
Speaker 1: who the fuck are so last week you said the words?
Speaker 1: You know, you know, I know what you did. You
Speaker 1: want to elaborate and she's like, I just I know
Speaker 1: what he did? What she can It's like what she's
Speaker 1: supposed to say, Chris, do you know the answer to that? Okay? Well,
Speaker 1: could I just said quick? I didn't. I didn't know
Speaker 1: what was happened. All I knew was it was Becca.
Speaker 1: So when she said I you did, I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, he's going to choose someone. Why is she
Speaker 1: so put out? I didn't know, you know, I didn't know,
Speaker 1: so I was like, why is it looking angry? Because
Speaker 1: then I guess I was like more people like Lauren,
Speaker 1: I was so confessed out of your box. I know,
Speaker 1: I know, but I was just like, why are we
Speaker 1: saving getting so fucking angry that he chose back your
Speaker 1: yellow card? Was so glad your time talks. I missed
Speaker 1: you so hard. Who knew I actually had rules at
Speaker 1: this point the building and upsode, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I just was like, the only thing I knew. I
Speaker 1: was like, what everyone so pissed that I it was
Speaker 1: so much your faith a skin? Okay? So then here
Speaker 1: we are. They're going to Machu Pachu. Lauren. They're on
Speaker 1: a private train and she's like, oh, Machu pich I
Speaker 1: read about it in my history book that I see dogs,
Speaker 1: so many dogs, seven wonders in the world. Oh this
Speaker 1: is insane. Oh clouds wow. I love that. They said that.
Speaker 1: He said, clouds wow. Then she said, I love that.
Speaker 1: You're literally perfect. Machu Pichu one of the seven wonders
Speaker 1: of the world. It's going to be like breath to
Speaker 1: as in a side. I can't tell you how much
Speaker 1: it war is my soul that she took that pupil
Speaker 1: becomes the teacher young more young. It was. It was
Speaker 1: just because I'm gonna get it tattooed on my neck.
Speaker 1: I love tattoo this much about mach Oh my god.
Speaker 1: We all have our notes, like and was getting their
Speaker 1: notes time, so then we have um just like Debbie
Speaker 1: gets a tattoo. That's all I know. I texted that
Speaker 1: so I like, watch out watch so then we have
Speaker 1: I can see how much she's giving herself to me today.
Speaker 1: That is the most disgusting, Like he was fucking her
Speaker 1: with his words with that, like she's giving of herself
Speaker 1: to me. I wanted to his bone or his little
Speaker 1: old man bone or was so apparent like I was
Speaker 1: ready to let her go. But now I don't know.
Speaker 1: I so gross. That depends what she does today determine
Speaker 1: he was. Here's what I liked. I did like when
Speaker 1: they were running around and he goes to take my
Speaker 1: breath away. No, it's the altitude. I like that. What's
Speaker 1: a while? He was a good people that built Machi
Speaker 1: Picchi with their hands were rolling around underne being like,
Speaker 1: oh dear fucking god, at least two slobs are on
Speaker 1: our back. Can you imagine like being like a ghost
Speaker 1: of Machu Pichi builder being there watching this fucking thing,
Speaker 1: like has it come to this? This is what it's
Speaker 1: come These dipshits look around, they go stones, I carry
Speaker 1: umbrella time. She's got a speckle in her left die.
Speaker 1: So then then she goes cheers to a lifetime of
Speaker 1: more unforgettable dates and he says, guess guess that I
Speaker 1: love that. I love that. I love that. And then
Speaker 1: which is what he also said when she was like,
Speaker 1: he's really breaking down my walls, and then he was like,
Speaker 1: I love that you're breaking down your walls. And then
Speaker 1: he later was like, bye, do you mean he is?
Speaker 1: Besides notes, somebody emailed me a lame We should put
Speaker 1: it on our Facebook page. You can rent his house
Speaker 1: on Airbnb and Scott dall is two five dollars a night.
Speaker 1: He's gotten good reviews as a host. People he's let
Speaker 1: people do late check out. Somebody sent us a link. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a very fair fair land Barren. Right, he's a great
Speaker 1: landber and you, guys, I'm almost a lamb beren and
Speaker 1: I'll be a lamb barred in a week. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: kill my three I'm gonna kill myself. What I'm gonna
Speaker 1: cull myself in six days. So I don't have to
Speaker 1: actually do it. I'm too terrified. Okay, So then so
Speaker 1: then she goes, He goes, this is a high pressure decision,
Speaker 1: how much I love you, and what she wants to say. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is a high pressure date. And she goes, I
Speaker 1: want to tell you how much I love you and
Speaker 1: why Before you I didn't know what was missing out
Speaker 1: and on what I was missing out on. You're so
Speaker 1: understanding and comforting, and it was just like that was it.
Speaker 1: I'm already just been risk of my life with you.
Speaker 1: I so wanted just to work with this. It's crazy
Speaker 1: how fast I fell in love with you. When I
Speaker 1: look at you, I just feel so much. And he goes,
Speaker 1: I love that. This is just making last night's episode bearable,
Speaker 1: just you doing the playout. Go ahead. Well, then they
Speaker 1: were talking and she was like, I remember every moment
Speaker 1: I remember, like when you forgot that you met me
Speaker 1: in Dallas, whatever that I don't know and then no,
Speaker 1: I'm sure. She was like, I don't know, you probably
Speaker 1: don't remember, but like we met one time, like you,
Speaker 1: and she was like, um, you probably don't like After
Speaker 1: that point, he goes, it just keeps getting better and better,
Speaker 1: better and better than the time that you've forgotten. That
Speaker 1: was like a high for minute. And then she then
Speaker 1: he was like, first of all, is her dog's name Dallas.
Speaker 1: She's from Dallas, and she wears a Dallas amount of makeup.
Speaker 1: That's all. That's all we need to know. But he
Speaker 1: was like, described, I couldn't stop laughing when he's described
Speaker 1: just like a day like her life. And she literally
Speaker 1: said and first of all, she described an entire event
Speaker 1: that you could just do by yourself. Right. It was
Speaker 1: just like get up and we have coffee, and we
Speaker 1: take our tags, and we walk the dog, and we
Speaker 1: clean up the ship at the dog, and then it's
Speaker 1: like work and then we like come back home and
Speaker 1: I probably have an upset stop it because I ate
Speaker 1: something saucy at nude, and then you'll probably look at me.
Speaker 1: I won't say anything because I don't have any original thoughts.
Speaker 1: And then we'll go to bed. And I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my fucking God. And then maybe on the weekend
Speaker 1: we got a yard, family and Alan Moore and friends,
Speaker 1: family friends, normal couple of stuff. Yeah, And it's like,
Speaker 1: if we're outside, we'll probably like they'll be weather and
Speaker 1: when we go inside it I'm just I'm just spitballing.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Oh I love that. It's exactly what
Speaker 1: I pictured. And he's got a name Hollywood. Yeah from
Speaker 1: Dallas is my pet. Flying squirrel is the only I
Speaker 1: lived and I lived around Dallas. I lived in fort Worth. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you did. I've been fort Worth. I bet you've been.
Speaker 1: You're going back to Texas sound Yeah? For Worth. I
Speaker 1: like going to the stockade. I don't like the cows dying,
Speaker 1: but I do like I actually enjoyed fort Worth. The
Speaker 1: Western they have the Western Disco, they have the ball
Speaker 1: the yeah, the like the stampede. Alright, it's cattle running.
Speaker 1: I like, it's not it's not like a no, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's not like a huge thing. I like what I'm
Speaker 1: saying is I like it. There is no further proof
Speaker 1: that Lauren is from Dallas then her having a dog
Speaker 1: named out. It's a very Dallas thing. Everyone has a
Speaker 1: dog named Dallas. I didn't name my dog fort Worth.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, Wait a minute, Wait a minute, Wait
Speaker 1: a minute. Why's your Dallas disco? What's the Cowboy disc?
Speaker 1: It's it's this. I don't know what the place was called,
Speaker 1: but when I was working in Dallas a couple of
Speaker 1: summers ago, it was we went to this huge venue
Speaker 1: and it's all country. It's like country western music and
Speaker 1: live dancing, but on the inside, every like maybe once
Speaker 1: an hour, it turns into pop. I want to go
Speaker 1: and it was so much fun. Yeah, I have to go.
Speaker 1: I want to go. I'll be there. I want to go,
Speaker 1: want to go, but I don't have any friends. Well,
Speaker 1: the only epic jail and you would you would know
Speaker 1: this is I went and I went to a store
Speaker 1: and I got a like caught off fun flannel or
Speaker 1: boots and jeans. And I walked in and all the
Speaker 1: guys were wearing cut off flannel and all the women
Speaker 1: were in like hot black outfits. Could I be more
Speaker 1: of the dude, Like I'm already a dude, and now
Speaker 1: I'm like, but you're hottesh shit, you're hot. I am
Speaker 1: always the dude. And when I go back to Texas
Speaker 1: to Tellas Texas you've so you've never met you've never
Speaker 1: met Debbie. But now that Rob is very good friends
Speaker 1: of Debbie, he can answer. And Debbie's not gonna say.
Speaker 1: What would Debbie wear when she get out of the
Speaker 1: limo the first night? Oh, I know what this is,
Speaker 1: you know what it is? It was? It was a
Speaker 1: Jeane skirt, men's wear, men's wear, meswear, men's wear. She'd
Speaker 1: go high mesa. Yes, Jeane skirts down to the that's
Speaker 1: to me. I'm in the I'm in the high low.
Speaker 1: I'm in the high low. I'm in I'm in the
Speaker 1: I'm in the mullet. I'm in a muster. And like
Speaker 1: she was wearing men's wear and you had birds in
Speaker 1: your earrings, I'm gonna wear earrings like beccas the size
Speaker 1: of dream cactus that are actually catching birds. So there's
Speaker 1: blood and feathers that sort of a lot, and I
Speaker 1: should get an immediate proposal, I think so straight out.
Speaker 1: I think so I would just go full Larry Bird.
Speaker 1: We can just pull na blonde short, tight curly wigs. Here.
Speaker 1: You can bleat your hair in permit and cut it
Speaker 1: tight short. Was I a tux with converse? Oh? That
Speaker 1: was cute. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and you were in
Speaker 1: a jumpsuit. You're a lady, yeah, Carr, who do I
Speaker 1: hope our Batch would be in the limo going where
Speaker 1: the fun are we go and would be in a bikini.
Speaker 1: Scot would be in a bikini. Um okay, So then
Speaker 1: we go so then Becca, So then I wrote Becca,
Speaker 1: Becca is going to win? I wrote that she Okay, wait,
Speaker 1: why did I? I wrote Becca is never going to
Speaker 1: win the okay? Sorry? So then we go, oh so
Speaker 1: he describes her thing the dog part. I love that.
Speaker 1: She goes, I'll get you to golf. I can't. My
Speaker 1: dad will get you to golf. I'll get you to golf.
Speaker 1: And then um, Becca M. We go back to the
Speaker 1: studio audience. Becca M has a good point, which was
Speaker 1: if he did wasn't ready to propose. I don't think
Speaker 1: a proposal was the thing to do. Just why I
Speaker 1: wish she was the bet laurette. Um. So then they
Speaker 1: so that he's bumped. So they're in the rain. They're
Speaker 1: in Peru. It's Becca's date and he goes, yesterday it
Speaker 1: was pretty much perfect. And they see a cute little
Speaker 1: girl and she's in the rain, rain, and he goes
Speaker 1: she goes, I can picture him as a father of
Speaker 1: my children. Laura watch Machu Pichu and she goes to
Speaker 1: a fucking market. I can't I And also, you know,
Speaker 1: they have like no appreciation for mach like like Becca
Speaker 1: would probably be like actively saying interesting things about So
Speaker 1: then they see a cute baby alpaca who gives him
Speaker 1: side eye. The alpac is like, bitch, that was weird,
Speaker 1: like that alpaca, Like, yeah, she knew that alpacan. Now well,
Speaker 1: it's just like one of those sort of like farm
Speaker 1: animals that deserve to be in free Yeah, yeah, real sad.
Speaker 1: I don't like if you ever taken the horse rides
Speaker 1: up on maholland up, yeah, and the horses are like
Speaker 1: so now they're so not happy. I had it fine, Yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: you're killing all the way, like you can't your legs work,
Speaker 1: you can't walk to the top of the is not
Speaker 1: that far. I've already been here, Yeah exactly. I'm just
Speaker 1: because you guys, you guys have so many sons at
Speaker 1: Margarite is and how many sons at Margarite is so
Speaker 1: that so he starts talking to himself into her. It's
Speaker 1: like she'd make an amazing mother, she would make an
Speaker 1: amazing wife. And then UM, I always be honest with you,
Speaker 1: and he goes, going into today, I was just thinking
Speaker 1: of Lauren, That's what he says. Um. And so then
Speaker 1: she puts away her Peruvian drug bag in her house
Speaker 1: and um, and she goes, do you have any questions
Speaker 1: for me? He's like, I don't. I don't have any
Speaker 1: questions for you. You're a rock. You're always the rock.
Speaker 1: He he wanted a bird with a broken wing that
Speaker 1: he hated to be like, okay, baby bird, you okay,
Speaker 1: baby bird. That's where he contributes. Yeah, exactly, And that's
Speaker 1: when I wrote, beck is never gonna win. She wrote,
Speaker 1: she wrote a cute book for him, like our first
Speaker 1: bab ab question mark. I was wondering when that was
Speaker 1: kind of thing would come up. Yeah, at that point,
Speaker 1: traditionally someone was like, hey, I made this. It's all
Speaker 1: about us, and it's production pictures. Basically, Yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: make a photo of our friendship from all of the
Speaker 1: continuity photos, continuity photos and just like screen grabs, like
Speaker 1: a YouTube upload. That's how it's gonna be. And I'm
Speaker 1: gonna make a gigantic memory book for you and I
Speaker 1: with like like this water bottle that we drink, I
Speaker 1: kept it, I preserved it and I put it in
Speaker 1: like I put it in a shadow box shadow I
Speaker 1: got it pottery barn. Okay, So then he goes Becca
Speaker 1: could be my wife. He wants Lauren. They wheel out
Speaker 1: the corpse of Ben Higgins and Jason. Wait can you
Speaker 1: can I ask you guys? You watched the Bachelor Olympics?
Speaker 1: Right of course? Wait, so what was real? Quick? What
Speaker 1: was benat? I need to know about it? Your precious
Speaker 1: meatball with a commodity. And then and then you're treating
Speaker 1: me Paul like freaked out with a total toolbox and
Speaker 1: was like I can't Yeah the wait did Ben hook
Speaker 1: up with someone? Ben? Ben folded in on his inside
Speaker 1: his own vagina and vagina and rolled down the snow
Speaker 1: hills because this yeah, yeah that's true, Like so too, Yeah,
Speaker 1: he came out of the vagina, saw a shadow, went back,
Speaker 1: got another quote on his rib, Adam's rib. Yeah, has
Speaker 1: a lot of scripture tattoos on his grip. He's got
Speaker 1: the full Bible like he's got like it's like a
Speaker 1: full page. You love. I was fice, you do not
Speaker 1: give me that bad boy chat. Give me that. It's
Speaker 1: like vanilla flavoring, but stevious. There's no sugar at it.
Speaker 1: Reading from Paul to the grizzin check your pantsil he's listen.
Speaker 1: Gina Ball rolled away. So then Lauren, okay, here's the
Speaker 1: photo that you need to pull up. It's morning time.
Speaker 1: Lauren is posing in her makeup, in her robe, in
Speaker 1: her robe, and she goes, um, women feel good about relationships.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what both women feel good about
Speaker 1: the relationships, and that's hard, Lauren. This is what she
Speaker 1: was wearing. Did you see this? Anna? Did you see
Speaker 1: this photo? So Debbie sent us all a screen capture
Speaker 1: of her with her cup of coffee in the robe
Speaker 1: and her perfectly done hair, just staring and posing with
Speaker 1: her arm up, finding her light with her face, and
Speaker 1: Debbie says, this is how I wake up first thing
Speaker 1: in the morning. Oh my god, my god, are the
Speaker 1: camera crews here already? Oh my god, didn't see I
Speaker 1: guess it's just enjoying some coffee delicately without drinking it,
Speaker 1: but just bringing the cup to my lip. I didn't
Speaker 1: even get my Drea captures errings on. Yeah, you guys,
Speaker 1: used another morning of Maxwell House commercial and then while
Speaker 1: they were doing that same montage of people looking out
Speaker 1: the window, already looks at his window and it's all roofs.
Speaker 1: Look at all that? Wow, well look at that so
Speaker 1: many rooms you can't see anything that. It's basically a
Speaker 1: parking lot, just like, wow, look at that. So Laura
Speaker 1: has the wifey dress on there, gave it the white
Speaker 1: bugle bead wafy dress. Ladies, here's a question. Do they
Speaker 1: do think they get these outfits? Yeah, they do. I
Speaker 1: know for a fact because I've grilled the contestant. They
Speaker 1: get the outfits for the finale. And I think if
Speaker 1: you make it to like I think, if you make
Speaker 1: it too fantasy sweets, I think that's like you start
Speaker 1: getting outfit it. Because if you remember when they went
Speaker 1: to lapland, they all had the same pom pom hat.
Speaker 1: They all have the same coat. When Raven was doing
Speaker 1: the cart wheels after her first orgasm, right, oh my god,
Speaker 1: the cart wheel orgasm. Yeah, and Rachel looks so you remember,
Speaker 1: were so cute and somebody brought oh yeah, somebody brought
Speaker 1: me a pom pom hat. And I can't wait to
Speaker 1: have my first storg as when I okay. So then
Speaker 1: Patty coming, I gotta kill kiss are a kiss? Are
Speaker 1: just born redhead? Uh? And I was enjoying my childhood
Speaker 1: photos recently. There was the one that she texted me
Speaker 1: that is her faith. So then Lauren okay. So then
Speaker 1: the corpse of Neil Lane gets wheeled out, and the
Speaker 1: first one he shows him is the ugliest ring known
Speaker 1: to man. There's an awkward pause. He's like, well, I've
Speaker 1: got this one. It's called the bubble ring. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was terrible. It had like a claw setting. It
Speaker 1: was like it was like a dragon claw. And then
Speaker 1: he picked this big oval cat which was fine and pretty.
Speaker 1: It was gigantic but pretty. And then they kept saying
Speaker 1: on the edited uncut coming up, Debbie, what would you
Speaker 1: take on Neil Lane? Real quick? That so he comes
Speaker 1: every time too. They wheel him out, the Corpse of
Speaker 1: Neil Lane rough yeah, he you know, knocks on the
Speaker 1: door and he's like, I'm Neil Lane, Yes you are.
Speaker 1: He comes in and shows him a grand total of
Speaker 1: two that he used to be like seven. I could
Speaker 1: see this on her. She would look perfect. The like
Speaker 1: general pronoun is my favorite. Yeah, I like once they
Speaker 1: made the decision and they're trying not to indicate their like, well,
Speaker 1: she would look great in this, and you know she
Speaker 1: doesn't understand and she won't see this coming. But she
Speaker 1: is the perfect girl for me because she hasn't picked
Speaker 1: she number one. Yeah, exactly, like this will look pretty
Speaker 1: on a girl. Will you please do has fingers? Do
Speaker 1: you do your impression of Neil Lane? One more time?
Speaker 1: I'm Neil Lane my head. Matt Brown saw Lionel Ritchie
Speaker 1: at the bowl and apparently Rachel Lionel Richie came out
Speaker 1: and he kept going Richie no, like he could have
Speaker 1: avoid it himself, Like I know, no, cheeah, you just
Speaker 1: say like your star struck by himself, Lionel Ritchie. I
Speaker 1: can do that party, right, I hear? One more time?
Speaker 1: I'm kneeling. I'm Neil Lane. Here's a question when when
Speaker 1: it's the two batchers on the Bachelorette, don't get a
Speaker 1: few choices, don't think it? Don't they choose rings? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So wouldn't he have met Neilie Lane before? Because Neil
Speaker 1: Lane was like I thought that he was, like n
Speaker 1: I got that nice' she was round two after cotton Nuity.
Speaker 1: She cut him early. She cut him early, but she
Speaker 1: cut him on the finale. Yeah no, but there are
Speaker 1: times like I remember, I feel like when I'm like
Speaker 1: Nick even got cut before? No, Nick always something, but
Speaker 1: like he cut im like seventeen years, I know, somebody
Speaker 1: has got to cut like Nick Lane, Godfather's lane. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Nikos, you should have cut He should have
Speaker 1: cut someone before making them go through that. I think
Speaker 1: he could have should always do that always, I know.
Speaker 1: So sorry, yeah, yeah, please miss Debbie. So every single
Speaker 1: time both of them get dressed the exact same way,
Speaker 1: I can hold the exact same thing you brought, and
Speaker 1: it's like, so talk about how solid you feel confident
Speaker 1: in your relationships, and they're like, there's no doubt in
Speaker 1: my mind they're getting engaged today, and both of them
Speaker 1: do it. But also both of them are like, I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know, it would be devastating, and then they
Speaker 1: like bring them both out, and he in sequence sends
Speaker 1: one home and then gives the other one. They're used
Speaker 1: to be. It used to be it didn't always have
Speaker 1: to be first like it used to be you didn't
Speaker 1: know the order, and now now it's always the first
Speaker 1: one that the last like four or five years, maybe
Speaker 1: eight ten seasons, because you look at the trick is
Speaker 1: like when they're getting ready the ship, you're liken the
Speaker 1: door open and yeah yeah yeah yeah. The time I
Speaker 1: look to Joe. The right thing about the Bachelor hate
Speaker 1: is the guy will go down on one knee and
Speaker 1: be like, now stand up, yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: save that deep deep knee. Then for the gym, you're
Speaker 1: gonna you're gonna be double song. That was the worst
Speaker 1: thing in Florence, which you're just shaking his head. Yes,
Speaker 1: you're gonna love it. You're gonna love the Bachelor. You
Speaker 1: gonna love They have so many bromances. The guys will
Speaker 1: so are in love with each other. They love each
Speaker 1: other so much, they like excited, and then they just
Speaker 1: start to rise up from when there's a when there's
Speaker 1: a crystal like the crystal like whoever made it? It's
Speaker 1: like a fleshy kickstand straight ground. In general, they don't
Speaker 1: go down, it goes right down. It comes try down
Speaker 1: a long time and my seat. She kicks in rock
Speaker 1: and see I wish you could see everyone floating around
Speaker 1: boring old. Oh my god, I didn't think we're we're
Speaker 1: we okay, So there we are. They hate when they
Speaker 1: hate the guys, like when they hate the Crystals on
Speaker 1: the show, the guys want to beat the ship out
Speaker 1: of them and be like, no, man, you're not here,
Speaker 1: Like they're gonna like like comment like Craigs been a
Speaker 1: real dick at the house. Ye don't know, because there
Speaker 1: are a lot of them are probably on steroids, you know,
Speaker 1: like you don't, I don't know, like and some of
Speaker 1: them they were really tight pants and like they're the
Speaker 1: boys in my life who I have watched with and
Speaker 1: they've said to me like, yeah, there's a Crystal, but
Speaker 1: there's like a guy Crystal. Yeah, there's always just like
Speaker 1: one dude, but he's like worse than Christal, Yes he is.
Speaker 1: They're like they're right the things about Crystal the duck,
Speaker 1: but like also the things about a guy that stuck die.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. Who are you hopping? As a bachelorette debate? Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I've gone through so many If we're
Speaker 1: sinking Tia and now obviously Becca okay, and if if
Speaker 1: Lauren says now she at least has puns, so like
Speaker 1: like already didn't have puns, he could barely say truth,
Speaker 1: who has puns. Who says puns? Lauren? She only, like
Speaker 1: we've read, she won't be yet, she's not. I think
Speaker 1: they're together, But I'm just rooting for her to have
Speaker 1: said no, that's I think that's what it is. Emotionally,
Speaker 1: I'm in denial that she would ever say even though
Speaker 1: she said it would just be the greatest thing on
Speaker 1: the planet, she said no. I think honestly I would.
Speaker 1: I would green light a Lauren bachelorette if are just
Speaker 1: if she would suffer through Yeah, you know what season
Speaker 1: of Velvita wrapped in a khaki only and him having
Speaker 1: to watch like make out with like fifteen dudes. Okay,
Speaker 1: so then so then Lauren gets out and there's a
Speaker 1: really dirty river behind Ari and uh, and he only
Speaker 1: walks her part of the way, and he and that
Speaker 1: bugle me where the heels? You made me wear the heels?
Speaker 1: And you know right now, if you're about to break
Speaker 1: up with me or proposed to me, and I'm walking
Speaker 1: seven and you're making eye contacted me so calmly because
Speaker 1: you don't care either way. You're actually a really bad person.
Speaker 1: You're actually you're you're a piece. He's the definition of
Speaker 1: a piece of ship. Let's air let's all airbnb his
Speaker 1: house and set it on fire. Oh my god, let's
Speaker 1: I want you guys are on TV. Let's destroy this
Speaker 1: fucking house airbnb. Let's acause. But I'm not making that.
Speaker 1: I gotta get I gotta get bumped up. I gotta
Speaker 1: get that regular money. Okay, So then come on Netflix.
Speaker 1: Lit a rig out Okay? So them, Ari, I says,
Speaker 1: I have so there there's a river behind him, and um,
Speaker 1: she says, what Ari and I this? I hate when
Speaker 1: people say stuff like this. It's so condescending. What Ari
Speaker 1: and I have most are beyond what most people ever
Speaker 1: have in their lifetimes. A connection that is so rare.
Speaker 1: It's like, fuck you, like your your love is so
Speaker 1: much like well, she I think no, I think she's
Speaker 1: genuinely wonderstruck that she could ever feel anything anything human emotions. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like like a connection. And she's like, oh, it's easy
Speaker 1: with him. I don't have to try because it's both
Speaker 1: easy for both of them. But like, I think she's
Speaker 1: genuinely like, wow, I never thought I would have this
Speaker 1: kind of love and human emotion. I think it's so
Speaker 1: pure and so it's like a it's like a toddler
Speaker 1: feeling air conditioning. Yes, yes, drop, Yes, that's so good.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's so good. Debbie Ryan defensive. I
Speaker 1: love because that little baby, like got a little baby
Speaker 1: and doing Wow. That explains all the cutaways of Lauren
Speaker 1: taking a stickpin and shoving it and her skin nothing
Speaker 1: nothing there. And then she said, for you, before you,
Speaker 1: I thought I had love. I'll figured out um. I
Speaker 1: thought the walls I had to build up to protect
Speaker 1: me and protect me, we're actually there. We're keeping me,
Speaker 1: protecting me from falling in love. I fought falling in
Speaker 1: loved I've loved you all along. You're the man I've been.
Speaker 1: This is the point at which he started shaking his head.
Speaker 1: I love that you've broken down walls. I've wanted it
Speaker 1: so bad for us. Something's holding me back. I can't
Speaker 1: go through with it. I gave it everything I had
Speaker 1: to make it work. I did fall ill love with you.
Speaker 1: I am extremely confused. I did my best. I am
Speaker 1: so sorry. Why did you do that? The best question,
Speaker 1: why why did you do that? That's after they walked
Speaker 1: the two back, and he goes, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: didn't know fully until this morning. And then she says,
Speaker 1: I still love you. I love you too, and then
Speaker 1: he goes, I feel a little bit like a monster
Speaker 1: right now. I really wanted to do with tell Law
Speaker 1: and I love her, but instead I'm saying goodbye. And
Speaker 1: then she says, I feel betrayed. Do that to somebody.
Speaker 1: I don't get it. He just blindsided me. It's really
Speaker 1: She said I have no words at one point, which
Speaker 1: I thought might be a good title for her biography. Yes,
Speaker 1: maybe feel cool, maybe feel real cool. You use your crams, Laurens.
Speaker 1: What did you think everyone talk Anna? Why do you think?
Speaker 1: Oh I got Anna? I was heartbroken for all. Well,
Speaker 1: first I thought I thought, um, Lauren did a pretty
Speaker 1: good job of not losing her ship. She was sweet,
Speaker 1: she was actually liked her more. Yeah, I thought she
Speaker 1: was being quite classy. Class I am very confused. Yeah,
Speaker 1: why did you do that? Yeah? I think she said
Speaker 1: all the right things. Yeah, she was classy. And I
Speaker 1: thought it was weird. He shouldn't have said I love
Speaker 1: you at the end when he was like, I love
Speaker 1: you and he went to the door. It was just
Speaker 1: I think it's like things you don't do on your
Speaker 1: wedding day, um kissing another woman and the other woman
Speaker 1: that you love them, Katie, what did you take watching this?
Speaker 1: I thought he's like the dumbest man alive. I mean
Speaker 1: really he just like yeah, the fact that he's going
Speaker 1: to wear me like oh I love you, and like
Speaker 1: holding her hand and like I mean even also like
Speaker 1: with you know, can I talk about the Becca thing
Speaker 1: till or no? Just Lauren? Did you say whatever you need?
Speaker 1: Like just the way like he and maybe it's the producers,
Speaker 1: I don't know, being like you have to get back
Speaker 1: in there, but it's like, dude, take a fucking hint,
Speaker 1: like the social cue, like he just I felt like
Speaker 1: so much of it was him being like I need
Speaker 1: to feel okay. Yeah it was it was for me
Speaker 1: to make sure that I feel okay, like that can
Speaker 1: saying get the funk out and he's like, are you okay?
Speaker 1: Can we talk because he's like I don't feel okay
Speaker 1: with that? Yeah, agree with It's hard. That's such a
Speaker 1: man move. So then I don't think he was didn't
Speaker 1: know necessarily what he wanted and and that's okay too.
Speaker 1: If you like, don't ask this other woman to marry you,
Speaker 1: just take it. See what happens. I'm sure they pressured him,
Speaker 1: but still, so she goes, I let my guard down
Speaker 1: and it still didn't work out. And then he says,
Speaker 1: I had no idea what I was going to do
Speaker 1: until this morning. How can you get down on one
Speaker 1: knee if you weren't sure to like three hours ago.
Speaker 1: And then she said, I feel like he's taking the
Speaker 1: easy way out. She's dropping truth. I agree with you.
Speaker 1: So she's saying like you know, you didn't know, like
Speaker 1: you didn't know. Then that means no to everyone, Like
Speaker 1: I'm not even saying like you should you should have
Speaker 1: chosen me, which she obviously did say like you should
Speaker 1: have chosen me, but she was like, dude, like you
Speaker 1: don't know, listen to that. But she she was being
Speaker 1: very like woke here, and I thought he was dumb
Speaker 1: and just like blinked at her and like it's so
Speaker 1: bad at taking social cues, Like he was just like
Speaker 1: begging it out of her. And then he was like,
Speaker 1: all right, cool, so great, he's like collecting I love
Speaker 1: you so he's like the I love you band he is.
Speaker 1: He's fully the I Love you band. I think when
Speaker 1: she said, why did you do that? After that, she
Speaker 1: has like moments that was so that was her saying, like,
Speaker 1: why did you do all of that's why did you
Speaker 1: say I love you all about like agree? Why did
Speaker 1: you like asked me about a future with you. That's
Speaker 1: the point when he wouldn't leave during the ultimate breakup
Speaker 1: that I was like, maybe he's got like a social disorder.
Speaker 1: I think he honestly think he's like a psychopath. But
Speaker 1: we'll get there on a second. So then okay, so
Speaker 1: we'll get well, I'll just rush through this so we
Speaker 1: can get to that part. She she goes, where a team,
Speaker 1: My love for you is unre reasonable? That right, and
Speaker 1: Becca Becca shows up and then he said I thought
Speaker 1: about you and you and our kids, and I choose you,
Speaker 1: and I choose you every day. Asterix scrolled down for
Speaker 1: the next seventy two hours. And then I won't choose
Speaker 1: And then they go, I love you too much. It's
Speaker 1: just the two of us. It's just the two of us.
Speaker 1: And she goes, Rebecca Jan Crawford lion dyke um and
Speaker 1: he goes, you want to start having babies. He's a dog,
Speaker 1: And then they were making out in the garden and
Speaker 1: then then they started filming themselves. It's just a little
Speaker 1: weird because generally, once you're done, we've never seen that. Generally,
Speaker 1: once you're done, you're done. So they're in the hammock,
Speaker 1: they're they're making pizza, feel like they're making he knew.
Speaker 1: He knew he making pizza. You could read it too,
Speaker 1: you could read it in him. Something was She was like,
Speaker 1: I love you so much. He was like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: loves great yew hedful? Is this river behind us all
Speaker 1: pass pass? Also her like speech, so I I've learned
Speaker 1: now that they both go. They start talking and then
Speaker 1: he says what he has to say. As they're talking,
Speaker 1: hers was all in a d and Becca's was like reserved.
Speaker 1: It was like we're team, Like, this is why you
Speaker 1: should choose me, Like I understand that, it's not like
Speaker 1: a Like she was so reasonable that that's when when
Speaker 1: she like chose her, he was like okay. Then she
Speaker 1: was like, it's just you and me. It's just you
Speaker 1: and me. I didn't I didn't think about this, Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I don't. Okay, here we are right. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was less heartfelt. The other one was very emotional. Even
Speaker 1: though she's like a robot. Lawrence was emotional. Do you
Speaker 1: think that they hyped them up and brought them to
Speaker 1: be like talk about how certain you are, like don't
Speaker 1: tip it, but like talk about I just think it
Speaker 1: was so clear from day one that was Ari and
Speaker 1: Lawrence should be together, and he got he's such a dick.
Speaker 1: I didn't see her until I didn't even notice her
Speaker 1: on the show for half the season. That's why she
Speaker 1: was perfect. Yeah, I just always seem But it was later.
Speaker 1: It started in Paris where she said wow, and but
Speaker 1: then by the end of it, we're all like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, maybe they're perfect because it is Emily. The
Speaker 1: whole time you were like, it's Emily two looks just
Speaker 1: like the girl. So then um, so then I wrote
Speaker 1: why are they filming after and so um and he
Speaker 1: starts going, I think about Lauren. They have the pizza. Man.
Speaker 1: I have immense guilt. It's not fair to be in
Speaker 1: a relationship. And half in I'm going back on choosing
Speaker 1: you every Okay, so here we go. So now so
Speaker 1: now they ambush her. She never looked cute her than
Speaker 1: she looked in that whatever fucking weird maze house up
Speaker 1: in the hills about to see Oh my god. It
Speaker 1: was it was like an episode of twenty four with
Speaker 1: the two screens. It was like, why did you need
Speaker 1: to screen, Like why don't you have one camera unedited?
Speaker 1: It's not like the angles like a yeah. It was
Speaker 1: almost felt better when it was like they were together
Speaker 1: because you could see how close they were to each
Speaker 1: other when they were directing. You need editing the whole time.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, you need editing, We don't need
Speaker 1: an unedited version. Like the whole thing was so a
Speaker 1: theory talk to us. I think the producers were telling
Speaker 1: them to do stuff because like it did like blackout
Speaker 1: on him and for a while, like he walked outside
Speaker 1: and it went black. I wonder like did they say
Speaker 1: you have to go back in? Probably, like that was
Speaker 1: like one reason I thought maybe they had to maybe
Speaker 1: because they wanted both reactions. I think they wanted both reactions.
Speaker 1: I love that the sowarl. I love that the uber
Speaker 1: driver didn't let him in. He was locked out of
Speaker 1: the That was the best. But if you're gonna do it,
Speaker 1: you have to bring two cameras in because if you're
Speaker 1: gonna do this whole big like open heart surgery, and
Speaker 1: they're gonna run an run off. They knew she's going
Speaker 1: to try to run away and They're like, well, we
Speaker 1: have to chase this crying girl all around. But what
Speaker 1: a piece of ship, because like he already knew what
Speaker 1: he was doing. He he could have put his foot
Speaker 1: down and said it's too cruel. I did, like I
Speaker 1: have I have loved for her as a person. I
Speaker 1: don't need to do this on air. I'm going to
Speaker 1: break up with her and come back and we can
Speaker 1: tell everybody it after the final rows that I'm with Laura.
Speaker 1: Also go to this airbnb that I got up, settle
Speaker 1: in and then I'll meet you there and like, maybe
Speaker 1: do your makeup before. And it was so it was
Speaker 1: so bad. I read it, And there's a thing that
Speaker 1: came out on People magazine. Lori Lori or Bachelor historian
Speaker 1: texted me so much good ship last night. So there
Speaker 1: was an article on People magazine that came out last
Speaker 1: night after the finale where she said she knew something
Speaker 1: was weird because two things. In general, he'd been liking
Speaker 1: a lot of Laurence photos on Instagram and then um
Speaker 1: and then I guess the night before everybody in the
Speaker 1: room was shaking their head. And the night before apparently
Speaker 1: he turned his phone off and she couldn't get in
Speaker 1: touch with him, which was not like him. Like they
Speaker 1: were both flying to l A, they were both meeting
Speaker 1: at this place, and he turned his phone off for
Speaker 1: the whole night, and like she couldn't get in touch
Speaker 1: with that. I just I just think, you know, That's
Speaker 1: why the whole time, I was like, is he can it?
Speaker 1: Is he trying? Is he contractually obligated to break up
Speaker 1: with her on camera either here or in after the Rose?
Speaker 1: And so then you just go That was the only thing.
Speaker 1: The whole time, I was just like, why is this happening?
Speaker 1: Why is he being Why is this so awful? Think
Speaker 1: he's such a fucking psycho and he wanted to be
Speaker 1: on TV so badly, and I think he thought he
Speaker 1: could get I think he thought he could get her
Speaker 1: to be like, don't worry about it, and like, I
Speaker 1: think he's just a fucking second. He said I love
Speaker 1: you too. Four women. You're not supposed to say it
Speaker 1: to any until, like you propose. I guess. It was
Speaker 1: just so traumatic and I was so blown away, and
Speaker 1: I was so disgusted, and I was so angry, and
Speaker 1: so many different emotions we all had that I kept thinking, well, obviously,
Speaker 1: clearly this could be avoided? Is it? Is it a contract?
Speaker 1: Like it was so inconceivable that I was watching, when
Speaker 1: I was watching, and it was such a lack of
Speaker 1: respect for a human being that even that you just
Speaker 1: met on the first day of your life, or that
Speaker 1: you were engaged to that he was speaking to were
Speaker 1: as such with just literally a cut off. You're just
Speaker 1: this person in front of me, let alone a fiance
Speaker 1: that I just kept thinking, is this a contract? Is
Speaker 1: this it's a psycho? I think it's just like that's
Speaker 1: the only thing I could come up with, because he's
Speaker 1: a psychopath, you like, and you don't glam shamey, sir,
Speaker 1: thank you keep getting clamshap that was sent to us
Speaker 1: by Sandy at to say it. Say it on swags,
Speaker 1: thank you. Yeah, that's because it was so monstrous. It's
Speaker 1: so I honestly think he's psyched. I mean, he said
Speaker 1: I'm in love with you two four women. He said
Speaker 1: it to Tia Kendall. I mean, that's fucking crazy, I think. Yeah. Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: when they referred to Rebecca m on Chris Harrison's festive Excitement, Yeah,
Speaker 1: she was like he he fully believed that he was
Speaker 1: in love with two people at the same time, which
Speaker 1: I think can happen. But I think if you're going
Speaker 1: to propose to one of them, don't do it, which
Speaker 1: was like the beginning of that, and I actually thought
Speaker 1: that that was like, all right, you could you're living
Speaker 1: in two complete, different, dissociated worlds, and in those worlds
Speaker 1: you're being very present, and in those present worlds you
Speaker 1: feel very present things. Okay, fine, don't marry that guy
Speaker 1: that's a sociopath yea who will cheat on you, or
Speaker 1: like she wants to be in a polyamorous relationship, which
Speaker 1: he's allowed to do. He's gont be like trying to
Speaker 1: break up with one. And then I think he was
Speaker 1: trying to get bachelor money to have him take Lauren
Speaker 1: on another day. And remember he said, she goes well
Speaker 1: in the in the times that I've seen you since
Speaker 1: we got engaged, and it sounded like it was like
Speaker 1: a few times that they saw each other, like not
Speaker 1: that they've been like living an engaged life. And then
Speaker 1: they were finally going to this vacation. They're kept apart,
Speaker 1: so basically when they end, they're kept apart, and they
Speaker 1: have a campion. They have secret rendezvous because they all
Speaker 1: live in different cities, so they have secret meetups a
Speaker 1: couple of times during during while the show's airing between
Speaker 1: the finale. That was harrowing, and of course he's able
Speaker 1: to then emotionally detached and started completely Anna, you've finish well,
Speaker 1: Just it's all for a wonder. It's all like I
Speaker 1: just wonder if I'm missing my shot with her. Not
Speaker 1: like so I felt the Bachelor producers showed their true
Speaker 1: colors in this show, because one, I'm pretty sure they
Speaker 1: were like, probably like, go back in there, try and
Speaker 1: talk to her. Yeah, why else would he go back in?
Speaker 1: It was so awkward other than the fact that, like
Speaker 1: he said, he can't read social cues and then that
Speaker 1: line that Chris Harrison said where he's like this is
Speaker 1: so devastating, blah blah blah. He's like social media is
Speaker 1: blowing up. It's an understanding. I was like the crying
Speaker 1: you can't take the sound pack off of her, and
Speaker 1: she this is so embarrassing and you're a terrible person
Speaker 1: for doing this. She called him out, and he's just like,
Speaker 1: here's what happens. They go kind of talk to you forbid,
Speaker 1: Oh you got that tattoo? We see the awkward cameraman
Speaker 1: in the mirror, what do we know what the tattoo is?
Speaker 1: I was like a butterfly. Didn't look I know. That's
Speaker 1: why at first I was like, oh my god, did
Speaker 1: you get an attention? Um? He just kept saying can
Speaker 1: you just talk to me for a little bit, and
Speaker 1: then sitting in silence and watching her cry and like
Speaker 1: getting life from it. He goes, The more I hang
Speaker 1: out with you, the more this is what he said.
Speaker 1: The more I hang out with you, the more I
Speaker 1: lose the possibility of maybe reconciling with Lawrence. Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're engaged. That's what happened. That's more you're engaged to me.
Speaker 1: The less you lose the problem. I have you ever
Speaker 1: heard something worse in your entire life? I've never even
Speaker 1: off Like if you see it in a movie it
Speaker 1: was a TV show, you go, oh god, like this
Speaker 1: is like a heightened character of a total dick bag.
Speaker 1: But to see it like in real life, well as
Speaker 1: close as you can, no one could even script that,
Speaker 1: like you would never say that in a million years.
Speaker 1: And he's literally I never liked him, but I we
Speaker 1: always said, oh he's affable whatever. Actually he's but he's
Speaker 1: just so mean, he's a psychopathic. She he goes, I
Speaker 1: was in this a shock for you? And she goes,
Speaker 1: was this when you had your conversation with her? And
Speaker 1: he was like yeah, And then he goes a heartbreak
Speaker 1: never went away. Look, I get that, but I don't
Speaker 1: get the camera crew that's the way that he did
Speaker 1: it really is. I mean, we can try to give
Speaker 1: him the benefit of the doubt up until that moment
Speaker 1: at the very least, you turned to the camera guys
Speaker 1: and you're like, guys, let's all actually give her some
Speaker 1: just even if the computer producer told you not to
Speaker 1: do it, you know what I mean. Like, it's like
Speaker 1: the guy that was supposed to be the bachel of
Speaker 1: this year, Peter Peter, he didn't get on because he like,
Speaker 1: you want a little more freedom to I mean, to
Speaker 1: have his own opinion, actually had like elegant Yeah, so
Speaker 1: you just tell him to stop filming hashtag not Peter,
Speaker 1: hashtag not Peter. Christoper's right. So he goes, I keep
Speaker 1: waking up and going to bed thinking of her. She goes,
Speaker 1: it's just so fucking embarrassing. You shouldn't have gotten down
Speaker 1: on one knee. True, And then um, I hope you
Speaker 1: find what you're looking for. It's clearly not me. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm done. She goes to her suitcase. She's I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna hug you goodbye. I want you to go. I
Speaker 1: love that. Like that was we're all just waiting being
Speaker 1: like turned the table, rip him a fucking new yeah.
Speaker 1: And then he said, you know what, I'm going to go?
Speaker 1: Can he tries? And then she tried. She starts crying.
Speaker 1: He goes back in and he can't find her. And
Speaker 1: he goes and she's like convulsing in the bathroom and
Speaker 1: he goes, hey, are you okay? It's like are you?
Speaker 1: Are you okay? What happened? She goes just leave. She goes,
Speaker 1: what are you still doing here? Which is crazy. So
Speaker 1: he starts sitting on the couch. And then this made
Speaker 1: me so sad when she said what did I do wrong?
Speaker 1: That's when I was like, no, no, no, I don't
Speaker 1: don't don't please please, But I think she was she
Speaker 1: talking to herself that moment, and it was still what
Speaker 1: did I do? And then and then he goes, can
Speaker 1: we just talk a little bit. She goes, don't touch
Speaker 1: me again, and she goes, um, she she goes, I'm
Speaker 1: not the one for you. Chris Harrison. To say this
Speaker 1: is trending and blowing up social media is an understatement.
Speaker 1: It just it just I literally and I hate this
Speaker 1: to be like men, you know what I mean, But
Speaker 1: it just feels like men need a real reshaping. And uh,
Speaker 1: this one, this episode didn't just spread the good news
Speaker 1: men behaving you not like he was sitting there waiting
Speaker 1: to find a reason to become the victim. He was like,
Speaker 1: you know, this has been really hard for Like, I've
Speaker 1: just been thinking about her, like, and it's not fair
Speaker 1: to you if I'm just thinking, like, don't talk about Hey,
Speaker 1: I get it. You gotta talk about how you obsessed
Speaker 1: you are with this girl that you get away. Don't
Speaker 1: talk to your fiance about it. Yeah, talk to her
Speaker 1: about how Like it's not fair you can't work. I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry. I love with you. It's not gonna work.
Speaker 1: I'm out have a guy friend, have a beer with
Speaker 1: a guy friend. I don't talk about Lauren to back
Speaker 1: front of her. I think he's a psycho. He might
Speaker 1: he might have some he might uh, he might be
Speaker 1: gage another straight men. Yeah, it was like we're really
Speaker 1: on the run, right, now, good job. But it was
Speaker 1: I guess I just comp thinking it was above and beyond,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? It was no, it was
Speaker 1: so it was the whole thing was him him him
Speaker 1: him him, and it would be like the worst sentences
Speaker 1: you could possibly say. It came out of that guy's mouth.
Speaker 1: So tonight, well, I guess by the time you hear
Speaker 1: this podcast, this will already have happened. But we're gonna
Speaker 1: find out who the bat threat is. We're probably gonna
Speaker 1: get to see Aria, and then Becca has to see
Speaker 1: them together. They're together. I'm assuming they're together. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Hopefully she comes out on top of this whole thing,
Speaker 1: right Becca, Yeah, guaranteed she already came out on top
Speaker 1: because she's not engaged to Rin. And then but the
Speaker 1: thing is, now you're Lauren. Can we just play that
Speaker 1: card for a second. You see this episode and then like,
Speaker 1: I think she's enough of a robot she doesn't care.
Speaker 1: If you ever see a man say that to another woman,
Speaker 1: you know, like, how can you say that he will
Speaker 1: do something like that to you? Of course, of course
Speaker 1: it's going to happen. If he'll do it for you,
Speaker 1: he'll do it to you. That's a cardinal rule. But
Speaker 1: that's what was an interesting That was an interesting thing
Speaker 1: having Lauren and Becca and Arian tonight. My ultimate favor
Speaker 1: like wish List tonight, is that Lauren breaks up with
Speaker 1: Ari Live my God take Back, just to break him up,
Speaker 1: and then Lauren and Becca start making up over their pain.
Speaker 1: Who do we want for Bachelor at rob Um? Is
Speaker 1: it okay to say Becca? M Yeah, but she's not
Speaker 1: gonna be we want wants to start the d they
Speaker 1: wall pick back up. I think she's too young. So
Speaker 1: who do you think we have? Like Kendall, Tia or
Speaker 1: Caroline's trying. I don't want okakay be Kendall Kendall. Who
Speaker 1: do you want? Who do you want? Yeah? I love
Speaker 1: Candle Ta beca any of the Becca's but also cn
Speaker 1: I think she's published and she's like I want to
Speaker 1: see like elevation, elevation as far like their conversation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't want that would be amazing. I'm ready, Katie.
Speaker 1: I would like Becca okay, okay, yeah, but I don't
Speaker 1: think she's going to do it because I think this
Speaker 1: is actually way too fresh. Yeah, that's usually it's usually
Speaker 1: they don't pick the runner up. Because it's too new.
Speaker 1: Although Jojo wasn't. Jojo didn't, but she wasn't broken up
Speaker 1: like they've been together now for like three months. You're right,
Speaker 1: and then she was broken. Yeah, you're right. The end
Speaker 1: would be great, but I don't think ABC's gonna do it.
Speaker 1: Not two in a row, not too African American bachelor's
Speaker 1: in a row. And by the way, they should do it.
Speaker 1: I mean the fact that they had her on it
Speaker 1: was kind of interesting to me. I know they were
Speaker 1: thinking maybe maybe I hope she might. I think you're right, though,
Speaker 1: I think it might be too fresh for Beca. If
Speaker 1: she just turns around, is like, I'm gonna do this again.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't blame her, but that's remember the
Speaker 1: time there were two bachelorettes and Amy. Yeah, they wanted
Speaker 1: to go further. We won't tell you because you get
Speaker 1: to watch it. Okay, wait, okay, will you guys help
Speaker 1: the tweetter the week? Who wants to read them? Aaron?
Speaker 1: You want to read them? Okay? Um. By the way,
Speaker 1: so we are doing a pod tomorrow. We're gonna get
Speaker 1: padgets thoughts. We haven't had her on all season because
Speaker 1: she's been working and and we're gonna have Brian sofian
Speaker 1: and so we're gonna do our after the Uh. But
Speaker 1: I just can't thank you both. Debbie, thank you for
Speaker 1: joining our merry circus. You've been such a hit. You
Speaker 1: are Rookie of the Year. If you can join us
Speaker 1: a moontower, will you? Yeah? Yes, if I can, I
Speaker 1: will for twenty and if you and we can't wait
Speaker 1: for you to come. We watched the season with us
Speaker 1: for the Bachelorette. Yeah, I can't wait. I'm really excited.
Speaker 1: It's a great podcast. Voice, great podcast, got a grateful
Speaker 1: I'm just got better him. Neil Lane Lane, Rob, you
Speaker 1: did it again. It's such a true great having young Debbie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean she's a really great a. Joe Rookie of
Speaker 1: the Year full votes, told them a pistol. Yeah, your
Speaker 1: summer Rentala Lacey, Joe g at Lacy, Joe, Ari and
Speaker 1: Laurence conversation while watching the finale together. Wow, that's crazy,
Speaker 1: that's insane. I don't love that. How good? Okay Courtney
Speaker 1: at Kessie you Uh? I love that Becca still wore
Speaker 1: waterproof I make up even though she was expecting a
Speaker 1: happy date with Ari. It's like subconsciously she knew he
Speaker 1: was the worst true story. Um, well this is too
Speaker 1: top isn't two first, it's a two fur at Vitamin
Speaker 1: G no joke, Ari's a dick at Vitamin G via
Speaker 1: Lacey Joe a needle dick? Yes, yes at Trixie Firecracker.
Speaker 1: Oh chy amne I love hers? I am assuming The
Speaker 1: shocking part of this already done on the Bachelor twist
Speaker 1: is that Ari won't leave. Who staves around this long
Speaker 1: after dumping somebody? Yes? Um at jazz at Jazz Ben's
Speaker 1: when the head of the rose fell off after the
Speaker 1: engagement bad fuck omens? Yeah, so true? All right, that's it. Wait,
Speaker 1: I have one where I want to put in and
Speaker 1: when this was just somebody treated me which made me
Speaker 1: so happy, when Dicky had a fun one that I
Speaker 1: that I did diggy from last season. Here's when at
Speaker 1: Kayla Nicolette said, as soon as I realized that there
Speaker 1: are two more hours of the Badge for tomorrow, I
Speaker 1: got really concerned for Arden Marine. We need to make
Speaker 1: sure that she still has enough time in the day
Speaker 1: for her auditions. And Ryan Patrick Green replied, I'm sure
Speaker 1: she is recovering with her waited blanket until Katie hits
Speaker 1: the record button and she jumps out from under it
Speaker 1: like a Reese's Monkey. Okay, and then we have Diggie,
Speaker 1: but he didn't do it at us like that, Sorr
Speaker 1: is apologizing like he's the assistant manager and not her fiance. Alright,
Speaker 1: So for our final two, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say,
Speaker 1: do we like the Rose? Okay? So at Jazz bends
Speaker 1: when the head of the Rose fell off after the engagement,
Speaker 1: bad fucking omen and can I do the person replying
Speaker 1: I'm sure Ryan Patrick Green at RP. Green Machine, I'm
Speaker 1: sure Ardent's recovering with her way to blanket till Katie
Speaker 1: hits the record button and she jumps out from under
Speaker 1: it like a Reese's Monkey. Well, it's popular to my heart,
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna say Reese's Monkey, Yeah, option Jo Magic Green, Um, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's exactly what did happen. Thank you all for listening.
Speaker 1: Like us on iTunes, like us on Twitter. We have
Speaker 1: our just a reminder, we have our new website up,
Speaker 1: which is where you'll be able to find us next
Speaker 1: season www. Dot Rose podcast dot com, as well as
Speaker 1: Spotify and iTunes and all the other jams and UM,
Speaker 1: let me just say, I texted myself. I texted myself.
Speaker 1: Here's we got some reviews. This was on um iTunes.
Speaker 1: You know what I feel like, this was a fair review.
Speaker 1: We got one four star review. Good listen by eight V.
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed this recap and they get amazing guests.
Speaker 1: My only complaint is sometimes they are bits and jokes
Speaker 1: gone too long. But I just passed forward through those
Speaker 1: and I think that's a fair note. I don't think
Speaker 1: I'm we're gonna do anything about it, but I respected, um,
Speaker 1: should we cut that out? Let's cut that out? You
Speaker 1: like get Dolphins? Okay, Ashley and then number five five
Speaker 1: stars from Coast Ashley Eyes cries face from laughing so hard.
Speaker 1: I'm sitting at my cubicle with tears streaming down my
Speaker 1: face and putting puffing from my inhaler. As the pod
Speaker 1: Squad elaborates on Stosse's magnificent description of Chris Harrison Um
Speaker 1: approaching the Winter Games House. This podcast is so outalious,
Speaker 1: rageously funny that when I lifted, I'm constantly checking my
Speaker 1: surroundings to make sure no one thinks I'm having a seizure.
Speaker 1: Or that my boyfriend just dumped me via g chat.
Speaker 1: Fifteen and a half stars Bring Back Bryan Sofie, Right, okay, wait,
Speaker 1: and then I'm just gonna read one. Email email us
Speaker 1: at Rose podcast at gmail dot com. Um, all right,
Speaker 1: I'll just pick one. We're here, we go, Here we go. Well,
Speaker 1: this is the one. This is from Mackenzie Van England,
Speaker 1: hi Art and et cetera. Thanks for a great podcast.
Speaker 1: You guys always make me laugh with your wacky energy
Speaker 1: and hilarious take on the show. Have gotten me through
Speaker 1: some tough times. Two pieces of bachelor dirt you might
Speaker 1: find am using. I'm no Lorie level Bachelor historian, but
Speaker 1: bear with me. Before he was a bachelor, Ari in
Speaker 1: an Airbnb Scottsdale in his page still up and apparently
Speaker 1: Ari's x apparently auditioned for the season of The Bachelor
Speaker 1: because she thought Peter was going to be the Bachelor.
Speaker 1: Can't wait to hear your take on the finale. I
Speaker 1: miss you guys when the Bachelors over. Here's the airbnb.
Speaker 1: You guys, we really did it another. Here's the photos.
Speaker 1: This is this was his house. Oh my god, remember
Speaker 1: that we saw that when I love that? Guys, remember
Speaker 1: we saw that. I want to rent it and destroy
Speaker 1: it to twenty five a month. They love Ari as
Speaker 1: a host. Um, that's we'll do. We'll all rented it
Speaker 1: and then we won't get out. It's called contemporary Scottsdale
Speaker 1: Condo two and two. If you guys low burned pranks,
Speaker 1: If you guys are get ready. There's anything you want
Speaker 1: to say before we get to the Bachelor. There's one.
Speaker 1: There's gonna be one more episode coming out tomorrow. Don't
Speaker 1: forget see you soon for the Bachelorette. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I can't wait. Okay, wait, oh my god, Devid, Devid,
Speaker 1: Debbie Ryan, Rookie of the Year. Here we go saying it.
Speaker 1: If you know it, I blame my chord. I need
Speaker 1: a better chord. I'm sorry. There, we all hold it,
Speaker 1: hold it. It's on the ground. Run. I meant to
Speaker 1: give it to Lauren. Get the rules I should I
Speaker 1: meant to give the other room. Wait a minute, do
Speaker 1: I have to give a ruse one I want? I
Speaker 1: want to Rose. I'm losing a chance at the other
Speaker 1: girl I wanted to. I have to give the rules
Speaker 1: so to mine