WEBVTT - I Choose... Grace in the Squeeze with Yvette Nicole Brown

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hi everyone,

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<v Speaker 1>welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about

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<v Speaker 1>the choices we make. My guest today is an inspiration

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<v Speaker 1>and a role model in how she chooses to use

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<v Speaker 1>her name and platform as a vocal advocate. Evet Nicole

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<v Speaker 1>Brown is an Emmy nominated actress, comedian, and host, best

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<v Speaker 1>known for her beloved role as Shirley Bennett on NBC's

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<v Speaker 1>hit series Community. Offscreen, she is a champion in caregiving,

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<v Speaker 1>diversity in Hollywood, and the beauty of aging gracefully, all

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<v Speaker 1>rooted in kindness and respect. I'm thrilled to welcome my friend,

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<v Speaker 1>vet Nicole Brown. Oh my gosh, you are just out

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<v Speaker 1>there so much right now, lifting everybody up. I saw

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<v Speaker 1>you meet up with Kamala, I saw you presenting a

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<v Speaker 1>big award to one of my favorite humans.

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<v Speaker 2>Can you?

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<v Speaker 1>And I just gotta know, like, how are you being

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<v Speaker 1>so busy and fabulous? Like how are you finding joy

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<v Speaker 1>in your personal life right now?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, Jinny Garth, I am very tired. I was just

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<v Speaker 2>talking to a friend this morning and I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I'm where I'm getting the bandwidth to

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<v Speaker 2>finish everything. But how do you say no to going

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<v Speaker 2>to hear Kamala speak? How do you say no to

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<v Speaker 2>present in award to one of your dear friends? How

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<v Speaker 2>do you say no to getting up early and putting

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<v Speaker 2>on a lash to talk to you? Like, there's some

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<v Speaker 2>things you just don't say no to. So I'm finding

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<v Speaker 2>the balance because you know, I'm newly married as well,

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<v Speaker 2>which I have to figure out how to be a

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<v Speaker 2>wife in my fifties.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I want to talk about that.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's have that talk. But my husband's really lovely and

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<v Speaker 2>he's a very kind, peaceful man. There's no trauma or

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<v Speaker 2>drama in our relationship or in our life. And so

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<v Speaker 2>even if I'm slaying dragons outside the house or in

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<v Speaker 2>my booth, when I come out of my little booth,

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<v Speaker 2>he's there with some tea. He made me my tea

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<v Speaker 2>this morn And you know, he's just a really nice man.

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<v Speaker 2>So that's that's been the thing that's made this season

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<v Speaker 2>of time possible.

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<v Speaker 1>He'd better be a good man, because you deserve it.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I just I love you, and I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like it's okay to just, you know, get into the

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<v Speaker 1>deep stuff with you. Oh my gosh, speaking of joy. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you're getting ready to celebrate your first wedding anniversaries.

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<v Speaker 2>Correct, he's coming up in a couple of months.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you waited for everybody that doesn't know. You waited

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<v Speaker 1>to find love. You waited to find the right kind

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<v Speaker 1>of love, which is absolutely and I choose me moment.

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<v Speaker 1>So how is it now, one year later, settling in

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<v Speaker 1>to being a wife, And are you still in the

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<v Speaker 1>honeymoon phase or are you annoying you yet? What's happening?

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<v Speaker 2>You know? I think listen, I think we were annoying

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<v Speaker 2>each other as friends for years, So it's not there's

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<v Speaker 2>nothing new about that, you know, I'm finding I say

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<v Speaker 2>to myself often, I wish that I had we had

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<v Speaker 2>gotten together earlier. I wish that life had happened differently

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<v Speaker 2>and I could have met him earlier, and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>he could have been my husband through my twenties and

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<v Speaker 2>thirties and forties. But then I realized that perhaps the

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<v Speaker 2>person that I was then would not have either been

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<v Speaker 2>able to see him in all that he is, or

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I feel like in a lot of ways,

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<v Speaker 2>we were supposed to do it this way, Like I

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<v Speaker 2>was supposed to go forward and fully understand what it

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<v Speaker 2>means to be a woman and to be an entrepreneur

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<v Speaker 2>and to be an actor. And you know, I built

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<v Speaker 2>a wonderful life and was able to care for my

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<v Speaker 2>dad for ten years before Tony came back into my life.

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<v Speaker 2>So it played out how it was supposed to play out.

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<v Speaker 2>But I hope that my leaden life love reminds people

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<v Speaker 2>that it's never too late, and that even though society

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<v Speaker 2>in this world tells you that you have to be you,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm married by twenty five. You're hearing about thirty had

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<v Speaker 2>him babies. They make you feel like you missed it,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's somehow life is. You did it wrong, and

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<v Speaker 2>everybody does it differently. Some people are blessed to have babies.

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<v Speaker 2>I wasn't blessed to have babies. Some people are blessed

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<v Speaker 2>to get married. I for the longest time, I wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>blessed to get married. But there's joy and beauty in

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<v Speaker 2>being single and childless as well. And I want to

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<v Speaker 2>make sure that I keep flying that flag so no

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<v Speaker 2>one thinks that now that I'm married, y'all better get

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<v Speaker 2>over here. Y'all better get over here. If it's the

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<v Speaker 2>right thing for you if it's not the right thing

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<v Speaker 2>for you, or you haven't met the right person, stay

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<v Speaker 2>on the other side because it's nice over there too.

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<v Speaker 1>That's right. I was just thinking about that, like timing

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<v Speaker 1>in life, like things, you think things should have happened earlier.

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<v Speaker 1>You wish that had happened earlier, so you had had

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<v Speaker 1>more time and you could have gotten further whatever it is.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're finding things later in life like we have,

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like you're so right. It didn't happen for a.

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<v Speaker 2>Reason, reason and reason.

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<v Speaker 1>There's something so profound in looking at that space and

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<v Speaker 1>finding what the reasons were, so you can really fully

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<v Speaker 1>understand them and like just use them to like fuel

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<v Speaker 1>you forward, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>And I also feel like, and tell me if you

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<v Speaker 2>feel this way too. I don't think anything we go

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<v Speaker 2>through is just for us. I think a lot of times,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, people get into their little silos and it's like, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I needed to learn this lesson. Maybe you're a cautionary

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<v Speaker 2>tale for someone else. And it's not fun. It's not

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<v Speaker 2>fun to be the one that people point to and go,

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<v Speaker 2>we don't do it like event because event. But I've

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<v Speaker 2>reached a point in my age in my life where

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<v Speaker 2>I'm at an age where I'm okay if something I

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<v Speaker 2>did taught someone what not to do, you're not saying.

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<v Speaker 2>It makes me happy to know that even my mistakes

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<v Speaker 2>can be used to bless other people. And that's also

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<v Speaker 2>why I try to be as transparent as possible as

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<v Speaker 2>I go through my life, so that people understand caregiving's

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<v Speaker 2>not scary. It's okay. If you're not married in your

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<v Speaker 2>thirties or forties, it's okay. If you find love late

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<v Speaker 2>in life, it's okay, if you don't have children. I

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<v Speaker 2>want people to know that all of those things are okay, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>or life is okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. The social pressures are crazy, and if you don't

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<v Speaker 1>feel the social pressures, you're either great at deflecting at

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<v Speaker 1>all or you're just lucky you haven't found yourself in

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<v Speaker 1>a situation where you're kind of the non norm you know.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think about that too, because like, yeah, everything

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<v Speaker 1>happens the way it happened in my life for whatever

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<v Speaker 1>reasons it happened. And then there's sometimes when you think,

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<v Speaker 1>oh man, the grass is always greener on the other side,

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<v Speaker 1>I want that what that person has, or I don't

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<v Speaker 1>want what I have.

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<v Speaker 2>And as it right, it isn't a season. Like if

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<v Speaker 2>you take a snapshot of your life at any particular time,

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<v Speaker 2>depending on where you are today, that will look like

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<v Speaker 2>the best time in your life or the worst time

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<v Speaker 2>of your life. You're either saying, oh, I wish I

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<v Speaker 2>could go back there, or what was I thinking? But

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<v Speaker 2>in the midst of it, when you made the decision,

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<v Speaker 2>it was the right decision for you to make at

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<v Speaker 2>that time. Yes, And what I say to people all

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<v Speaker 2>the time. The other reason why I'm okay with meeting

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<v Speaker 2>Tony later is Tony has two amazing sons and if

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<v Speaker 2>he had met me earlier, they wouldn't be here. And

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<v Speaker 2>I need some of Zenda and Josiah in my life.

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<v Speaker 2>So I am very happy to know that he created

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<v Speaker 2>these beings and they're a bit of him, and they're wonderful,

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<v Speaker 2>and I get to know them and I get to

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<v Speaker 2>be a step mom to them, and so between them

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<v Speaker 2>and my god daughter Ella, I got to have the

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<v Speaker 2>experience of being in a child's life, and especially with Ella,

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<v Speaker 2>I helped raise her. So that's my baby, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm also modeling that it doesn't have to be

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<v Speaker 2>a child that comes from you. I have great friends

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<v Speaker 2>that are adopted, So that means because they their mother

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<v Speaker 2>didn't birth them that that bond is not the same

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<v Speaker 2>or it doesn't count. Like there's so many rules that

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<v Speaker 2>we have for what makes a family and what makes

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<v Speaker 2>a life worth living, and I think we need to

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<v Speaker 2>pound against those things as much as possible. And also

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<v Speaker 2>tell people who have gotten married, had kids, and then

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<v Speaker 2>got divorced, your DNA needed to mix with that other

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<v Speaker 2>person's particular DNA to make those amazing human beings that

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<v Speaker 2>you raised. So don't ever get upset or why do

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<v Speaker 2>I marry them? Because you made them babies and then babies,

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<v Speaker 2>they're going to do great things in the world, and

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<v Speaker 2>you don't know who they're going to become. You don't

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<v Speaker 2>know who their kids are going to become. So you're

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<v Speaker 2>a part of the cog that created great humans down

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<v Speaker 2>a line. You needed that DNA of that other person

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<v Speaker 2>to do it. And so there's no regrets in that either.

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<v Speaker 1>Right now, everything happens the way it's supposed to happen.

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<v Speaker 1>It all works itself out. It sounds so cliche and

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<v Speaker 1>simple and yeah, but it is the absolute truth. How

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<v Speaker 1>did you how did you find time in your already busy,

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<v Speaker 1>big life to find the time to nurture a relationship

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<v Speaker 1>on top of it. Because you know, dating someone and

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<v Speaker 1>liking someone is one thing, but marrying them and living

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<v Speaker 1>together twenty four to seven, sim it's a different things.

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<v Speaker 2>They're all way there, they all way there.

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<v Speaker 1>They won't go away, they.

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<v Speaker 2>Won't go away. No, But you know what, it's funny.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't. I don't think I realized I was in

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<v Speaker 2>a relationship. I didn't realize I was building a long

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<v Speaker 2>distance relationship with an amazing man. I was just reacquainting

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<v Speaker 2>myself with my dear friend from twenty years prior. So

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<v Speaker 2>it was me and him just laughing, and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I think love knocked us both over the head. We

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<v Speaker 2>literally were like whoa like independently of each other. We

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<v Speaker 2>each had a moment that we've shared with each other since, like, dad,

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<v Speaker 2>I think I like them, I think I liked And

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<v Speaker 2>it was kinda do I tell her? Do I tell her?

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<v Speaker 2>Like we were fighting that battle ourselves, but still just

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<v Speaker 2>enjoying getting to know. We're getting to know our friend again. Right,

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<v Speaker 2>So then by the time it moved towards I like you,

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<v Speaker 2>I like you back and then it was moving towards

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<v Speaker 2>We're getting We're gonna get engaged, we're gonna get married.

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<v Speaker 2>All of it felt like just the path we were

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<v Speaker 2>always destined to be on.

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<v Speaker 3>It.

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<v Speaker 2>There was no and this is, and this is, this

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<v Speaker 2>may not be fair, but I tell my friends, now

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<v Speaker 2>you know the way you'll know if it's your person.

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<v Speaker 2>And this is just my opinion is they don't end

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<v Speaker 2>up in the group chat. If you don't know how

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<v Speaker 2>someone feels about you and you can't decipher what they mean,

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<v Speaker 2>that either means that your connection with them is not

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<v Speaker 2>strong enough for this to go the distance, or there's

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<v Speaker 2>something your spidy senses are tingling about something when your

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<v Speaker 2>screenshotting texts and send them to you girls, going he

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<v Speaker 2>said this, what does this mean? Or he called me

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<v Speaker 2>on Tuesday and didn't hear When you're doing that, it's

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<v Speaker 2>a good indication that that's not the dude, because everyone

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<v Speaker 2>I know that's in a wrong relationship, they all tell

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<v Speaker 2>me that the other person was very clear. There was

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<v Speaker 2>no question if they liked them, There was no question

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<v Speaker 2>if they were going to show up on Saturday at Chili's.

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<v Speaker 2>All of it was like if you have the fish,

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<v Speaker 2>if you got the fish.

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<v Speaker 1>You can't like for that connection with your partner, your

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<v Speaker 1>potential partner.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you shouldn't have to cook it, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>And no, because you deserve somebody who makes you feel

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<v Speaker 1>seen and and doesn't need you don't need to go

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<v Speaker 1>to your friends and say, I don't know if he

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<v Speaker 1>really likes me.

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<v Speaker 2>You know they like you. They're coming for you. And

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<v Speaker 2>it's and and there's no shade in that because I've

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<v Speaker 2>done my time in the group chats, a phone conversation.

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<v Speaker 2>Well what he said this, and I've done it. So

0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:46.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm telling you I'm not shading anybody that's in that dance.

0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:48.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm just saying that if you're in that dance, it's

0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:50.800
<v Speaker 2>a good sign that either he's not ready or he's

0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:51.559
<v Speaker 2>not that into you.

0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:52.360
<v Speaker 3>M hm.

0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:55.680
<v Speaker 1>And if you are in that dance for your own purposes,

0:10:55.920 --> 0:10:57.960
<v Speaker 1>it's just things you still need to learn so that

0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:02.120
<v Speaker 1>you can live in a relationship in an healthy way,

0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:04.679
<v Speaker 1>because there's you know, a don of ways to live

0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:07.320
<v Speaker 1>in unhealthy ways, unhealthy ways, but you gotta learn.

0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:10.559
<v Speaker 2>Have you read that book attached attached?

0:11:10.960 --> 0:11:13.280
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. There's so many books. It's in my

0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:14.000
<v Speaker 1>brain right now.

0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:18.160
<v Speaker 2>It's a it's a book about how people attach in relationships.

0:11:18.200 --> 0:11:22.480
<v Speaker 2>You either attached securely, anxiously, or you're avoidant avoidant, Yes,

0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:24.559
<v Speaker 2>it kind of makes sense. You guys know what each

0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:28.160
<v Speaker 2>of those things means. And the goal is to even

0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:30.120
<v Speaker 2>if you're avoidant and anxious, the goal is to attach

0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:32.839
<v Speaker 2>to somebody that's secure, because the person that's secure can

0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:35.160
<v Speaker 2>tether you and walk with you through your stuff. But

0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:37.760
<v Speaker 2>if two avoidant people meet up, if two anxious people

0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:40.680
<v Speaker 2>meet up, if anxious and avoidant meet up, you won't

0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:42.680
<v Speaker 2>have some trouble. And that just means that there's work

0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:45.440
<v Speaker 2>that you or your person that you like still need

0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:48.040
<v Speaker 2>to do on themselves so that they can see you,

0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:51.120
<v Speaker 2>like you and trust that they can go the distance

0:11:51.160 --> 0:11:53.160
<v Speaker 2>with you. That's how you attach when you're secure.

0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:56.400
<v Speaker 1>What's the work though, Like, what's like, say you're a

0:11:56.440 --> 0:12:00.679
<v Speaker 1>person who's anxious with another anxious person and you I

0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:03.520
<v Speaker 1>really want that other person. I want the other person

0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:07.960
<v Speaker 1>to do the work and become not anxious so I.

0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:08.720
<v Speaker 2>Can stay anxious.

0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:10.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:13.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, the work I think is, you know, I believe

0:12:13.040 --> 0:12:16.480
<v Speaker 2>in therapy. I think therapy is amazing personal or couple.

0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:19.560
<v Speaker 2>You know, I haven't had to do couple. Thank God,

0:12:19.720 --> 0:12:22.200
<v Speaker 2>me and TONI are good. Maybe you should do it preemptively,

0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:25.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, but no, personally, I started therapy years

0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:27.959
<v Speaker 2>ago when there was some knucklehead I was liking who

0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:29.680
<v Speaker 2>didn't like me back, and he just made me crazy.

0:12:29.720 --> 0:12:31.560
<v Speaker 2>So I had to go talk to somebody. And then

0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:33.880
<v Speaker 2>I went back into therapy when my mother passed because

0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:36.160
<v Speaker 2>I could not process being on the other side of

0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:39.040
<v Speaker 2>the world and my life force just left, you know,

0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:41.880
<v Speaker 2>my life. So there was a lot there. But the

0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:46.679
<v Speaker 2>grief counselor I found, wonderful woman named Love McPherson, ended up.

0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:50.680
<v Speaker 2>I found out later that her specialty is actually relationships.

0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:54.600
<v Speaker 2>So while she was walking me through my grief, she

0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:57.640
<v Speaker 2>talked to me about my life and my relationships, and

0:12:57.679 --> 0:12:59.720
<v Speaker 2>so I didn't even know that she was cobbling me

0:12:59.720 --> 0:13:02.200
<v Speaker 2>to get for when I would, you know, get with

0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:05.000
<v Speaker 2>Tony a year later, like she really mentally got me together,

0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:06.679
<v Speaker 2>and she was the officiant at our wedding because I

0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:08.840
<v Speaker 2>was like, I would not be able to stand here

0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:09.400
<v Speaker 2>with anyone.

0:13:09.480 --> 0:13:11.480
<v Speaker 1>Wait, didn't it tip you off that her name is Love?

0:13:11.840 --> 0:13:14.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and that's her really, that is her real name,

0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:16.000
<v Speaker 2>And mother gave her the name love and that's exactly

0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:16.520
<v Speaker 2>who she is.

0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:17.400
<v Speaker 1>So what a gift?

0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:20.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it was really a blessing. So I did the

0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:23.520
<v Speaker 2>work on myself. There's childhood dramas we all have. We

0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:26.760
<v Speaker 2>all have, you know, dreams dashed, and we either believe

0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:30.040
<v Speaker 2>that we deserve someone great in our life or not.

0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:32.000
<v Speaker 2>And if we don't believe, it's because we have not

0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:34.760
<v Speaker 2>we have not done the work to realize that we're

0:13:34.760 --> 0:13:37.480
<v Speaker 2>worthy of a good love. And so we go. I

0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:39.280
<v Speaker 2>don't want to. I don't get nobody all this mess.

0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:41.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm a state of myself. How about you just work

0:13:41.240 --> 0:13:41.960
<v Speaker 2>on the mess.

0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:46.200
<v Speaker 1>I really think you're right. The couple's therapy for me

0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:49.760
<v Speaker 1>hasn't always been great, so I'm a little like this

0:13:49.880 --> 0:13:53.480
<v Speaker 1>with it. But I really think that personal therapy for

0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:56.720
<v Speaker 1>anybody is just so great to like, why not dig

0:13:56.840 --> 0:14:00.320
<v Speaker 1>in and figure it out from the bottom up. Yes,

0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:05.480
<v Speaker 1>that's where when you have your shit together, you figured

0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:09.400
<v Speaker 1>yourself out, You love yourself. That's when like the sun

0:14:09.480 --> 0:14:10.440
<v Speaker 1>starts shining every.

0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:12.800
<v Speaker 2>Day, and it's what you draw. Like I used to

0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:15.040
<v Speaker 2>hate when people will say, you know, you look at

0:14:15.080 --> 0:14:17.880
<v Speaker 2>your friends group or your relationships and you'll get a

0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:21.160
<v Speaker 2>very clear idea of where you are right. It didn't

0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:23.040
<v Speaker 2>bother me so much in the friend group because I

0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:25.240
<v Speaker 2>have great friends, and my friends are mature and got

0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:28.520
<v Speaker 2>they shit together right. That's a good mirror. But I

0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:31.840
<v Speaker 2>looked at my relationships and the men I was choosing,

0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:35.880
<v Speaker 2>and I had to go, WHOA, like another guy that

0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:38.880
<v Speaker 2>can't commit, or another guy that's not sure about you,

0:14:39.040 --> 0:14:42.560
<v Speaker 2>or another guy that's a liar? Like what am I

0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:45.920
<v Speaker 2>giving off that I am now a beacon to this?

0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:48.480
<v Speaker 2>Or how many chances do I give that I should

0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:51.840
<v Speaker 2>not give that I stay beyond the understanding that this

0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:54.520
<v Speaker 2>dude is not the guy. So that was the work

0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.280
<v Speaker 2>that I was unearthing, and there's nothing wrong with that.

0:14:57.640 --> 0:14:59.560
<v Speaker 2>And if you don't do that work and you end

0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:01.920
<v Speaker 2>up with life, you end up with cheaters. You're going

0:15:02.000 --> 0:15:04.640
<v Speaker 2>to think something's wrong with you because you're the common denominator.

0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:07.120
<v Speaker 2>So do the work so you don't wonder if it's you.

0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:09.560
<v Speaker 2>You'll know always him.

0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:11.240
<v Speaker 1>And you'll you'll be Yeah, so much easier to like

0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:15.360
<v Speaker 1>recognize it and get out away from it quickly because

0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:19.640
<v Speaker 1>you love yourself. Oh, how you use your platform in

0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:23.480
<v Speaker 1>glorious ways, not just for your actress business. As an actress.

0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:27.080
<v Speaker 1>You know, you actresses speak about all of us, but

0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:32.160
<v Speaker 1>also you inspire people to be kind, and you inform

0:15:32.240 --> 0:15:35.680
<v Speaker 1>people on things that matter to you. Try to you,

0:15:35.720 --> 0:15:39.080
<v Speaker 1>try to. Is there for you ever a line where

0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:42.360
<v Speaker 1>you're like, I don't want to get too personal or

0:15:42.440 --> 0:15:44.840
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to take such a harsh stance on

0:15:44.880 --> 0:15:49.720
<v Speaker 1>something that will really upset a lot of people who

0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:50.880
<v Speaker 1>normally love me.

0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:53.280
<v Speaker 2>No, I don't have a line with any of that.

0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:56.040
<v Speaker 2>First of all, I'm an open book. I've never done

0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:57.560
<v Speaker 2>an interview even and said well, this is what I

0:15:57.680 --> 0:15:59.000
<v Speaker 2>want you to ask me. Ask me whatever you want.

0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:02.880
<v Speaker 2>You know, I will answer whatever you ask. And second,

0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:06.400
<v Speaker 2>I truly believe that those of us that have platforms

0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:09.160
<v Speaker 2>have been given platforms for a reason. And if all

0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:11.960
<v Speaker 2>I do with the seven hundred thousand people that are

0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:14.080
<v Speaker 2>kind enough to follow me on Instagram is tell them

0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:16.960
<v Speaker 2>what lip gloss I'm wearing. This is my lipistine by way,

0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:20.360
<v Speaker 2>But if that is all I do, I've done a

0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:22.320
<v Speaker 2>great thing for lipostine, But I've done a horrible thing

0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:25.080
<v Speaker 2>for the world. Right, so it is more important for

0:16:25.120 --> 0:16:27.640
<v Speaker 2>me to shine a light on injustice, to shine a

0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:31.360
<v Speaker 2>light on the importance of registering and voting, the importance

0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:34.640
<v Speaker 2>of kindness, the importance of realizing that you know, we

0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:37.640
<v Speaker 2>are stronger together, that your neighbor is not your enemy,

0:16:38.040 --> 0:16:41.200
<v Speaker 2>and immigrants make this country great. All of those things

0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:47.640
<v Speaker 2>are important, and I don't care what I lose if

0:16:47.640 --> 0:16:50.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm telling the truth. Now, if I was up here

0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:52.480
<v Speaker 2>lying and making up stuff and being crazy, that would

0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:55.480
<v Speaker 2>be very concerned about who doesn't like me. But at

0:16:55.480 --> 0:16:57.480
<v Speaker 2>this point, anyone that doesn't like me is probably a

0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:02.560
<v Speaker 2>wretched human being because I'm not doing anything wrong. Everything

0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:05.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm talking about is the right side of history. So

0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:07.920
<v Speaker 2>if you just don't like me, then you just don't

0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:10.360
<v Speaker 2>like me, and that's that's your journey to take. Ain't

0:17:10.359 --> 0:17:11.240
<v Speaker 2>none of my business?

0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:13.959
<v Speaker 1>What are you talking about right now in your socials? Like,

0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:15.120
<v Speaker 1>what's the one thing that.

0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:18.439
<v Speaker 2>Right now in LA? The importance of voting yes on fifty,

0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:21.359
<v Speaker 2>because there's been some gerrymandering happening with the with the

0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:23.960
<v Speaker 2>Poles and other states, and it needs to be counteracted

0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:26.879
<v Speaker 2>because the only way we're getting out of this authoritarian

0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:32.120
<v Speaker 2>hellscape is if we get kinder, loving, smarter people who

0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:35.200
<v Speaker 2>aren't chasing money. I need, I need people that put

0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:36.920
<v Speaker 2>people over profit. That's what I need. I need my

0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:40.480
<v Speaker 2>leaders to not be trading stocks and to be focused

0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:43.640
<v Speaker 2>on getting the costs of bacon and eggs down for everybody.

0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:45.920
<v Speaker 2>I need somebody that believes that climate change is real.

0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:48.399
<v Speaker 2>I need somebody that knows that vaccines keep people alive.

0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:50.560
<v Speaker 2>I need someone that will fight to make sure that

0:17:50.600 --> 0:17:53.440
<v Speaker 2>they're that your babies have can breathe, they can breathe

0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:55.919
<v Speaker 2>it and drink the water. So I need those people.

0:17:56.000 --> 0:17:58.440
<v Speaker 2>And so the only way we get what's in out

0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:00.600
<v Speaker 2>and get people that actually care about people more than

0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:02.520
<v Speaker 2>money is we have to register and vote, and we

0:18:02.560 --> 0:18:04.120
<v Speaker 2>have to make sure that our vote counts. And that's

0:18:04.119 --> 0:18:07.600
<v Speaker 2>why yes fifty matters in any other state there.

0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:10.560
<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, right, voting is like your is like

0:18:10.600 --> 0:18:13.159
<v Speaker 1>your top priority as a number one.

0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:14.760
<v Speaker 2>Number one you got, that's your job. Your job as

0:18:14.760 --> 0:18:16.920
<v Speaker 2>an American is to vote or don't. Don't say nothing

0:18:16.920 --> 0:18:17.720
<v Speaker 2>about what the price.

0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:19.960
<v Speaker 1>Of eggs, don't complain about anything.

0:18:19.680 --> 0:18:22.879
<v Speaker 2>Don't complain about losing your job, don't complain about National

0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:25.080
<v Speaker 2>Guard and military in the streets. If you're not going

0:18:25.160 --> 0:18:27.359
<v Speaker 2>to vote to get people in that won't do those things.

0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:31.160
<v Speaker 1>There's nothing worse than somebody that's like has some sort

0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:34.560
<v Speaker 1>of you know, pulpit, and they're talking about what they believe,

0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:38.040
<v Speaker 1>and then you ask them, did you vote? Don't? Oh no,

0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:40.119
<v Speaker 1>I didn't. Yeah, I didn't know who to vote for.

0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:43.399
<v Speaker 2>So I just think you did knew you knew. It's obvious,

0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:47.280
<v Speaker 2>this is not this is open book jes yep yep. Yeah.

0:18:47.320 --> 0:18:50.399
<v Speaker 2>So politics is important and also caregiving. Those are my

0:18:50.440 --> 0:18:51.560
<v Speaker 2>two things that I'm.

0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:59.399
<v Speaker 3>Like, Yes, Halloween is around the corner, and your favorite

0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:03.600
<v Speaker 3>podcast serving up episodes that are so good it's actually scary.

0:19:03.920 --> 0:19:06.560
<v Speaker 3>Sex and the City meet Severance when Adam Scott joins

0:19:06.600 --> 0:19:09.960
<v Speaker 3>Kristin Davis to discuss the haunting relationship between Big and

0:19:10.040 --> 0:19:12.280
<v Speaker 3>Natasha on Are You a Charlotte?

0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:13.240
<v Speaker 1>And nine one one?

0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:15.720
<v Speaker 3>What's Your Emergency? The new episode of Call It What

0:19:15.800 --> 0:19:18.200
<v Speaker 3>It Is? Of course nine to one one Nashville co

0:19:18.320 --> 0:19:22.680
<v Speaker 3>star Kimberly Williams Paisley joins Jessica Kapshaw and Camilla Leddington

0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:26.280
<v Speaker 3>to talk about her health scare, her superstar hubby Brad Paisley,

0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:28.480
<v Speaker 3>and her memories on the set of Father of the

0:19:28.520 --> 0:19:32.359
<v Speaker 3>Bride with the legendary Diane Keaton, Oscar winner Bree Larsen

0:19:32.480 --> 0:19:35.280
<v Speaker 3>is a work in progress. Sophia Bush finds out why,

0:19:35.400 --> 0:19:38.760
<v Speaker 3>and Walt's right over to daniel With because Danielle Fischel

0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:41.480
<v Speaker 3>has fellow Dancing with the Stars contestant Dylan Effron on

0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:44.720
<v Speaker 3>to talk about the ballroom, the leaderboard, and more. Listen

0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:47.919
<v Speaker 3>now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you

0:19:47.960 --> 0:19:48.919
<v Speaker 3>get your podcast.

0:19:56.640 --> 0:19:59.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna circle back on the caregiving. That's something I

0:19:59.400 --> 0:20:02.040
<v Speaker 1>really want to talk about as well. You've worked so much,

0:20:02.080 --> 0:20:06.200
<v Speaker 1>though most recently on a Lifetime movie which is called

0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:10.240
<v Speaker 1>Man Enough, airs in November, right now, twenty second. Okay,

0:20:10.640 --> 0:20:13.600
<v Speaker 1>So how do you choose the projects that you choose now,

0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:17.879
<v Speaker 1>like Man Enough? And how does that reflect kind of

0:20:17.920 --> 0:20:20.800
<v Speaker 1>like where you are in your life and your career journey,

0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:23.520
<v Speaker 1>because I know this movie has somebody important to you.

0:20:23.480 --> 0:20:27.040
<v Speaker 2>In it, because it does. This is my first Lifetime movie.

0:20:27.040 --> 0:20:29.680
<v Speaker 2>It's my Lifetime movie debut and also my husband, Tony's

0:20:29.680 --> 0:20:35.399
<v Speaker 2>lifetime television debut movie debut. I got an offer to

0:20:35.440 --> 0:20:37.720
<v Speaker 2>do the film, and I was overjoyed. Got to work

0:20:37.760 --> 0:20:40.080
<v Speaker 2>with the amazing Tony Braxton, whose song Man Enough the

0:20:40.080 --> 0:20:42.400
<v Speaker 2>film is based on, and then also Essence Atkins who's

0:20:42.400 --> 0:20:44.240
<v Speaker 2>a dear friend of mine. And I read this script

0:20:44.280 --> 0:20:45.879
<v Speaker 2>and found out that my character had a husband. I

0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:47.720
<v Speaker 2>was like, what was playing a husband? Well, we haven't

0:20:47.720 --> 0:20:50.480
<v Speaker 2>cast him yet. I was like, could my husband audition anybody?

0:20:50.520 --> 0:20:52.080
<v Speaker 2>He can audition? But he got a wain it. We

0:20:52.119 --> 0:20:54.560
<v Speaker 2>ain't doing no favors and I said, well, okay, then

0:20:54.640 --> 0:20:56.199
<v Speaker 2>let it. I just want him to be able to

0:20:56.240 --> 0:20:57.960
<v Speaker 2>try for it. If he gets it, you know, great

0:20:57.960 --> 0:20:59.719
<v Speaker 2>if he doesn't. And my husband we met in an

0:20:59.720 --> 0:21:02.399
<v Speaker 2>acting class. He's he's been an actor, he just hasn't

0:21:02.400 --> 0:21:05.359
<v Speaker 2>done it in twenty years. So he's now getting back

0:21:05.400 --> 0:21:07.760
<v Speaker 2>to what all of us in class knew that he was.

0:21:07.920 --> 0:21:10.400
<v Speaker 2>He was the star of our class, and so when

0:21:10.440 --> 0:21:13.080
<v Speaker 2>he dropped out and didn't want to act anymore, we

0:21:13.119 --> 0:21:15.639
<v Speaker 2>all were like, what, Tony's not acting? So the idea

0:21:15.680 --> 0:21:17.639
<v Speaker 2>that Tony was getting back in was exciting to me

0:21:17.800 --> 0:21:20.160
<v Speaker 2>as a fan of his work, and he booked it.

0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:23.119
<v Speaker 2>So I had to go up to Vancouver and kissed

0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:24.760
<v Speaker 2>my own husband and rolled.

0:21:26.200 --> 0:21:28.280
<v Speaker 1>Utter stranger girl.

0:21:28.400 --> 0:21:32.720
<v Speaker 2>O can't the idea kissing a strange man or an actor? Like, oh,

0:21:33.080 --> 0:21:35.199
<v Speaker 2>come on, I don't want him to do it. So

0:21:35.320 --> 0:21:37.120
<v Speaker 2>I want to done it, that's my job, but I'm

0:21:37.160 --> 0:21:39.480
<v Speaker 2>so glad I didn't have to so that so this

0:21:39.600 --> 0:21:41.480
<v Speaker 2>film with the added bonus of getting to work with

0:21:41.520 --> 0:21:44.040
<v Speaker 2>Tony was really amazing. And then to work with Tony

0:21:44.040 --> 0:21:46.840
<v Speaker 2>Braxton and I've always wanted to get into that Lifetime family.

0:21:46.880 --> 0:21:49.320
<v Speaker 2>I heard that once you're in, it's like you're you're in,

0:21:49.440 --> 0:21:51.359
<v Speaker 2>You're in, so I can't. I look forward to doing

0:21:51.359 --> 0:21:54.760
<v Speaker 2>more things with Lifetime. So it was really easy. As

0:21:54.800 --> 0:21:58.119
<v Speaker 2>for other jobs, I wanted it needs to be in

0:21:58.200 --> 0:22:00.480
<v Speaker 2>LA because I'm a caregiver for my dad, have a dog,

0:22:01.320 --> 0:22:02.960
<v Speaker 2>and leaving is a lot of work.

0:22:03.280 --> 0:22:06.840
<v Speaker 1>Well that kind of like slims your it does just down.

0:22:07.119 --> 0:22:08.800
<v Speaker 2>I mean, that's that's the thing that made saying yes

0:22:08.840 --> 0:22:10.480
<v Speaker 2>to even do a man enough tough because it would

0:22:10.520 --> 0:22:12.800
<v Speaker 2>would have been, you know, a month away, and I

0:22:12.880 --> 0:22:14.239
<v Speaker 2>was like, well, I don't you don't want to leave

0:22:14.240 --> 0:22:16.240
<v Speaker 2>my dad, don't want to leave Tony. And it worked

0:22:16.240 --> 0:22:18.040
<v Speaker 2>out because Tony was able to come, so I was

0:22:18.080 --> 0:22:19.840
<v Speaker 2>able to be with him and my dad has a

0:22:19.840 --> 0:22:21.879
<v Speaker 2>great caregiver, So all of that play worked out the

0:22:21.880 --> 0:22:26.159
<v Speaker 2>way it was supposed to. So proximity is important. Is

0:22:26.200 --> 0:22:29.359
<v Speaker 2>it something that says something that will help people in

0:22:29.400 --> 0:22:31.400
<v Speaker 2>some way. That's always important when I take a role.

0:22:31.800 --> 0:22:34.720
<v Speaker 2>And then is it something that I've never done that

0:22:34.800 --> 0:22:37.480
<v Speaker 2>I think I could do something fun and I've never

0:22:38.400 --> 0:22:41.760
<v Speaker 2>This character is really fun. She's she's smart, she's an attorney,

0:22:42.280 --> 0:22:45.800
<v Speaker 2>she's she's got jokes, but she also has heart. So

0:22:45.840 --> 0:22:47.159
<v Speaker 2>I think it's gonna be people have seen me in

0:22:47.200 --> 0:22:49.880
<v Speaker 2>a way they've never seen me before. I hope that's what.

0:22:49.720 --> 0:22:52.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm excited to see you lead your own movie. That

0:22:52.160 --> 0:22:54.520
<v Speaker 1>is for dang, sure close.

0:22:54.359 --> 0:22:58.520
<v Speaker 2>Star, you're my friend. You said lead. I'm strong Tony

0:22:58.640 --> 0:23:00.240
<v Speaker 2>is a lead. I'm happy to support.

0:23:00.280 --> 0:23:05.240
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, good good. Well there's something so fulfilling for

0:23:05.359 --> 0:23:08.960
<v Speaker 1>me personally about collaboration, and that's what movie making is

0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:13.920
<v Speaker 1>all about. Well, do you have any like stories from

0:23:14.000 --> 0:23:16.560
<v Speaker 1>your time on sets, like when you really felt that

0:23:16.640 --> 0:23:19.399
<v Speaker 1>magic of collaboration or the benefits from it.

0:23:20.200 --> 0:23:23.400
<v Speaker 2>You know, just so many times. I mean, of course,

0:23:23.440 --> 0:23:27.480
<v Speaker 2>community is the easiest answer, because everybody on that show

0:23:27.880 --> 0:23:31.000
<v Speaker 2>was like except for Chevy Chase, of course, but everyone

0:23:31.000 --> 0:23:33.480
<v Speaker 2>else on the show was right at the beginning of

0:23:33.800 --> 0:23:36.240
<v Speaker 2>what they were going to become in the industry. So

0:23:36.320 --> 0:23:38.399
<v Speaker 2>I got to have a front row seat for the

0:23:38.440 --> 0:23:40.840
<v Speaker 2>beginning of Donald Glover, in the beginning of Danny Putty,

0:23:40.840 --> 0:23:44.359
<v Speaker 2>in the beginning Gillian Jacobs and Alison Brie and you know,

0:23:44.400 --> 0:23:46.960
<v Speaker 2>even Ken Ken had just done the Hykover movie. But

0:23:47.040 --> 0:23:48.879
<v Speaker 2>he was he was a star, but he but he

0:23:48.920 --> 0:23:51.320
<v Speaker 2>hadn't become the fullness of everything that he is. And

0:23:51.680 --> 0:23:54.600
<v Speaker 2>Jim Rash oscar Winner Jim Rash like, So there's there

0:23:54.600 --> 0:23:58.560
<v Speaker 2>were a lot of parts of that experience that I

0:23:58.600 --> 0:24:00.920
<v Speaker 2>will never be able to duplicate as long as I live.

0:24:01.040 --> 0:24:04.960
<v Speaker 2>And we were a strong ensemble. So we supported each other,

0:24:05.359 --> 0:24:08.440
<v Speaker 2>celebrated each other, rooted for each other, encourage each other

0:24:08.440 --> 0:24:10.720
<v Speaker 2>to be as foolish as the other person could be,

0:24:11.200 --> 0:24:13.679
<v Speaker 2>and then delighted in their foolishness. Like, it was really

0:24:14.240 --> 0:24:17.679
<v Speaker 2>a lovely time. And we're still all really close. We

0:24:17.720 --> 0:24:21.080
<v Speaker 2>have a really lively group chat and birthdays aren't missed,

0:24:21.080 --> 0:24:23.800
<v Speaker 2>and weddings and babies being born have been celebrated. It's

0:24:23.840 --> 0:24:26.800
<v Speaker 2>been wonderful. So that was the probably the greatest career

0:24:26.840 --> 0:24:30.560
<v Speaker 2>collaboration of my life was the five years I did

0:24:30.560 --> 0:24:31.200
<v Speaker 2>on Community.

0:24:31.520 --> 0:24:35.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that sounds like an incredibly supportive environment to get

0:24:35.520 --> 0:24:39.720
<v Speaker 1>silly in. Yeah, which it has to be. So Yeah,

0:24:39.800 --> 0:24:42.960
<v Speaker 1>we have our platforms that we've quite honestly worked really

0:24:43.000 --> 0:24:48.399
<v Speaker 1>hard to develop and protect and build. And I'm just

0:24:48.480 --> 0:24:54.600
<v Speaker 1>curious a lesson for women outside of Hollywood where we

0:24:54.720 --> 0:24:58.640
<v Speaker 1>have we can develop these platforms. We have that sort

0:24:58.640 --> 0:25:02.040
<v Speaker 1>of leg up in that area when we become you know,

0:25:02.119 --> 0:25:04.320
<v Speaker 1>household names or people are used to seeing us on TV.

0:25:04.880 --> 0:25:07.400
<v Speaker 1>What is the lesson for other women out there who

0:25:07.440 --> 0:25:11.800
<v Speaker 1>are trying to have that same sort of path towards

0:25:11.800 --> 0:25:16.240
<v Speaker 1>equality and change and having our voices heard. Like, what

0:25:16.520 --> 0:25:19.440
<v Speaker 1>would you tell a woman who doesn't already have a platform?

0:25:20.000 --> 0:25:23.320
<v Speaker 2>I would mean, yeah, do, I would say, And this

0:25:23.359 --> 0:25:25.960
<v Speaker 2>is always I've said this before, and it's a little

0:25:25.960 --> 0:25:29.639
<v Speaker 2>shocking when I say it. Everyone has a platform. Now.

0:25:29.840 --> 0:25:32.719
<v Speaker 2>The size of the platform may be different. Your your

0:25:32.760 --> 0:25:36.880
<v Speaker 2>platform may be Pta meetings. Platform may be frozen food

0:25:36.880 --> 0:25:40.159
<v Speaker 2>section at Ralph's right. Your platform may be you know,

0:25:40.200 --> 0:25:42.520
<v Speaker 2>two or three gathered in his name in the parking

0:25:42.560 --> 0:25:46.800
<v Speaker 2>lot of church. But everyone has some people around them

0:25:46.840 --> 0:25:48.879
<v Speaker 2>that are listening to what they have to say. Do

0:25:49.040 --> 0:25:52.439
<v Speaker 2>not devalue your platform, whatever it is. There's something in

0:25:52.480 --> 0:25:55.800
<v Speaker 2>the Bible that says despise not small beginnings, because the

0:25:55.800 --> 0:25:58.680
<v Speaker 2>bottom line is Everybody that's got fifty million followers started

0:25:58.720 --> 0:26:03.840
<v Speaker 2>with one. Everybody that's a household name started as an unknown. Right.

0:26:04.000 --> 0:26:06.120
<v Speaker 2>Even if you're an NEPO baby you start, they don't.

0:26:06.160 --> 0:26:09.080
<v Speaker 2>They don't they know Jennigarth. They don't know you until

0:26:09.119 --> 0:26:11.760
<v Speaker 2>they know you. Right. So the whole idea of it

0:26:11.880 --> 0:26:15.080
<v Speaker 2>is you use what you have and you make sure

0:26:15.080 --> 0:26:17.359
<v Speaker 2>what you're saying is of value so that as it

0:26:17.400 --> 0:26:21.160
<v Speaker 2>continues to grow more the right people are following you.

0:26:21.160 --> 0:26:24.280
<v Speaker 2>You know, I'm the proudest thing about my my followers

0:26:24.320 --> 0:26:26.440
<v Speaker 2>is that they're good people. I can tell in the

0:26:26.480 --> 0:26:28.960
<v Speaker 2>comments section when somebody found their way in and they

0:26:28.960 --> 0:26:32.320
<v Speaker 2>don't belong. We don't. We ain't cussing at each other.

0:26:32.359 --> 0:26:35.080
<v Speaker 2>Were not treating people bad. I will block someone if

0:26:35.119 --> 0:26:37.080
<v Speaker 2>they're rude to a common er. If you come in

0:26:37.119 --> 0:26:39.480
<v Speaker 2>my comment section and say something heyful to somebody in

0:26:39.480 --> 0:26:41.000
<v Speaker 2>the comment section, you out of there. It ain't gotta

0:26:41.000 --> 0:26:43.359
<v Speaker 2>be to me. We cultivate this and you do the

0:26:43.400 --> 0:26:46.560
<v Speaker 2>same thing as you're building your platform in real life

0:26:46.640 --> 0:26:48.920
<v Speaker 2>or where if you're just starting on social media, find

0:26:48.920 --> 0:26:51.879
<v Speaker 2>out what you're excited about, what matters to you, what

0:26:52.000 --> 0:26:54.280
<v Speaker 2>is true and important to you, and make sure you

0:26:54.320 --> 0:26:55.240
<v Speaker 2>tell people about it.

0:26:55.480 --> 0:26:57.400
<v Speaker 1>I mean that is just one way to build a business,

0:26:57.480 --> 0:27:01.600
<v Speaker 1>this absolute farm thing. But just even in life as

0:27:01.640 --> 0:27:04.680
<v Speaker 1>a human, find what it is that you're passionate about

0:27:04.680 --> 0:27:07.200
<v Speaker 1>and what you think can help other people. And that

0:27:07.280 --> 0:27:10.240
<v Speaker 1>should be the direction that you walk in, Uh, to

0:27:10.359 --> 0:27:13.120
<v Speaker 1>find that purpose in your life, yep, because a lot

0:27:13.119 --> 0:27:14.840
<v Speaker 1>of us don't know our purpose. Yeah.

0:27:14.880 --> 0:27:17.879
<v Speaker 2>And that's shocking to me too, because I think what

0:27:18.080 --> 0:27:22.040
<v Speaker 2>happens is that a lot of people think purpose is vocation. Yeah,

0:27:22.080 --> 0:27:24.719
<v Speaker 2>and that is not purpose or calling. Purpose or calling

0:27:24.840 --> 0:27:26.840
<v Speaker 2>is what you would do at what you do at

0:27:26.880 --> 0:27:30.600
<v Speaker 2>every job you have. My purpose in calling is celebrating others.

0:27:30.680 --> 0:27:33.159
<v Speaker 2>And I'm an encourager. I'm a cheerleader of people. That

0:27:33.280 --> 0:27:35.160
<v Speaker 2>is what I've always been. I was working at Toys

0:27:35.240 --> 0:27:36.960
<v Speaker 2>r US at Christmas time and I was telling people,

0:27:37.040 --> 0:27:38.399
<v Speaker 2>I like your ear rings. Oh you just look so

0:27:38.520 --> 0:27:40.639
<v Speaker 2>maybe you won't get that Almo for you baby. I

0:27:40.720 --> 0:27:44.639
<v Speaker 2>am encouraging. I'm celebrating people always. I can do that

0:27:44.680 --> 0:27:46.840
<v Speaker 2>as an office tip. I can do that on this podcast.

0:27:46.920 --> 0:27:48.720
<v Speaker 2>I can do that, you know, on a set. I

0:27:48.760 --> 0:27:51.720
<v Speaker 2>can do that on fries at McDonald's and have you

0:27:52.000 --> 0:27:54.400
<v Speaker 2>So the whole point is you not fries with mcdonald'sn't

0:27:54.400 --> 0:27:55.800
<v Speaker 2>say a memo, way's job. I've done it everything.

0:27:55.920 --> 0:27:57.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, No, I didn't do the fries.

0:27:57.520 --> 0:27:59.600
<v Speaker 2>I didn't do the frid Now I would, but I happened.

0:28:00.119 --> 0:28:03.120
<v Speaker 2>So the whole idea is you you figure out the

0:28:03.160 --> 0:28:07.360
<v Speaker 2>thing that makes you feel alive, and it always involves

0:28:07.400 --> 0:28:11.400
<v Speaker 2>other people. Your calling is never just for you. It's

0:28:11.440 --> 0:28:14.879
<v Speaker 2>not My call is to be the best baker. That's nice.

0:28:15.160 --> 0:28:17.640
<v Speaker 2>But where you put into bake goods? Are you gonna

0:28:17.640 --> 0:28:19.160
<v Speaker 2>teach people how to make the bake good? You're gonna

0:28:19.160 --> 0:28:20.600
<v Speaker 2>put out a cookbook to help people after you do

0:28:20.600 --> 0:28:22.280
<v Speaker 2>the bake good you're gonna sell to Bate Goods. You're

0:28:22.280 --> 0:28:24.000
<v Speaker 2>gonna give the bake goods away to the unhoused.

0:28:24.119 --> 0:28:26.159
<v Speaker 1>Are they going to be? Are they gonna be? Yeah?

0:28:26.200 --> 0:28:28.600
<v Speaker 2>Exactly. It's not just I'm gonna be a good baker.

0:28:28.640 --> 0:28:31.040
<v Speaker 2>What are you going to do with it after? And

0:28:31.080 --> 0:28:34.040
<v Speaker 2>that's also vocation too, but it's calling is deeper. Calling

0:28:34.160 --> 0:28:36.520
<v Speaker 2>is is the thing that wakes you up in the morning,

0:28:36.560 --> 0:28:39.800
<v Speaker 2>the thing that you would do for free. Yeah, that's calling,

0:28:39.880 --> 0:28:41.800
<v Speaker 2>And for most people vocation you got to pay me.

0:28:43.440 --> 0:28:45.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there are a lot of jobs that you don't

0:28:45.360 --> 0:28:48.560
<v Speaker 1>feel inspired by, a lot of jobs that I feel

0:28:48.600 --> 0:28:51.479
<v Speaker 1>like job's and we all have we all know what

0:28:51.520 --> 0:28:53.040
<v Speaker 1>that is when we have to have a job to

0:28:53.080 --> 0:28:56.720
<v Speaker 1>pay those bills. But then there's room, I think in

0:28:56.800 --> 0:29:02.000
<v Speaker 1>everyone to find purpose in their jobs. Yep, somehow, and okay,

0:29:02.040 --> 0:29:06.440
<v Speaker 1>it'd be really hard sometimes or to find that purpose

0:29:06.480 --> 0:29:08.400
<v Speaker 1>and then find the job that aligns with.

0:29:08.280 --> 0:29:11.360
<v Speaker 2>It exactly, you know. And also it's important too, because

0:29:11.360 --> 0:29:14.360
<v Speaker 2>you spend most of your life, you know, at these

0:29:14.440 --> 0:29:17.240
<v Speaker 2>jobs you're doing eight ten hours a day and actors

0:29:17.240 --> 0:29:20.080
<v Speaker 2>we're doing twelve to sixteen hours a day. If you

0:29:20.080 --> 0:29:21.840
<v Speaker 2>don't like it, you're going to become a miserable person

0:29:21.840 --> 0:29:24.280
<v Speaker 2>in your health is going to suffer. So you gotta

0:29:24.320 --> 0:29:26.920
<v Speaker 2>do something that makes you happy, and it doesn't matter

0:29:26.920 --> 0:29:28.600
<v Speaker 2>what it is, and nobody else has to understand it.

0:29:28.960 --> 0:29:34.200
<v Speaker 2>My dad retired from a school system, a middle school

0:29:34.240 --> 0:29:37.600
<v Speaker 2>in Cleveland. He was the head custodian for thirty years.

0:29:37.680 --> 0:29:39.240
<v Speaker 2>He was a day engineer. Back in the day. You

0:29:39.280 --> 0:29:40.840
<v Speaker 2>had to know how to do boilers and stuff so

0:29:40.880 --> 0:29:43.400
<v Speaker 2>the schools didn't blow up. So he has an engineering degree,

0:29:43.400 --> 0:29:46.160
<v Speaker 2>but my dad was a custodian, a janitor his entire life,

0:29:46.320 --> 0:29:48.920
<v Speaker 2>and he was good at it. He treated that school

0:29:48.960 --> 0:29:52.680
<v Speaker 2>like it was a palace that he owned. He made

0:29:52.720 --> 0:29:55.200
<v Speaker 2>sure every teacher and every student got a hello, and

0:29:55.240 --> 0:29:57.520
<v Speaker 2>he made sure that their spaces were clean and tidy

0:29:57.560 --> 0:30:00.320
<v Speaker 2>and sanitized. He loved his job and was good at

0:30:00.320 --> 0:30:04.080
<v Speaker 2>his job. So it doesn't matter what you do, right,

0:30:04.240 --> 0:30:07.920
<v Speaker 2>do it unto God? Yeah? So it's you know, it

0:30:07.960 --> 0:30:09.840
<v Speaker 2>was an amazing job for him, and he was happy

0:30:09.880 --> 0:30:11.200
<v Speaker 2>he did it, and I was happy he did it.

0:30:11.240 --> 0:30:13.480
<v Speaker 2>You know, doesn't have to be a grand thing. No,

0:30:14.200 --> 0:30:16.480
<v Speaker 2>you make it grand by your attitude.

0:30:16.000 --> 0:30:19.239
<v Speaker 1>By yep, exactly what you put into it. Let's talk

0:30:19.280 --> 0:30:22.640
<v Speaker 1>about aging, okay, do it's talk about it. You do

0:30:22.720 --> 0:30:25.800
<v Speaker 1>it with such grace and peace. We are at the

0:30:25.800 --> 0:30:26.280
<v Speaker 1>same age.

0:30:26.280 --> 0:30:29.360
<v Speaker 2>I think you might be just I got you one year,

0:30:29.440 --> 0:30:30.520
<v Speaker 2>maybe I got you buy a year.

0:30:31.680 --> 0:30:34.320
<v Speaker 1>So what is it for you? Is it inner confidence?

0:30:34.440 --> 0:30:36.520
<v Speaker 1>Is it the humor that you have around it? Is

0:30:36.560 --> 0:30:39.960
<v Speaker 1>it just pure peace and acceptance? You know?

0:30:40.200 --> 0:30:43.600
<v Speaker 2>It's I think it's what you gonna do, you know

0:30:43.640 --> 0:30:46.760
<v Speaker 2>what I mean? Like, there's only you. You. You gonna

0:30:46.800 --> 0:30:49.280
<v Speaker 2>keep living until you die, right, and if you keep

0:30:49.320 --> 0:30:51.480
<v Speaker 2>living and you live long enough, you're gonna get old

0:30:52.040 --> 0:30:53.400
<v Speaker 2>and what we're gonna do. I don't even want to

0:30:53.400 --> 0:30:54.600
<v Speaker 2>be you wanna be twenty again?

0:30:54.640 --> 0:30:57.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't want no, no, no, I don't know. And

0:30:57.840 --> 0:31:00.240
<v Speaker 1>I mean maybe for like you know, an afternoon, I

0:31:00.240 --> 0:31:01.440
<v Speaker 1>ain't mean, but I.

0:31:01.360 --> 0:31:04.440
<v Speaker 2>Mean just not knowing who, what I'm doing? Who I was. Oh,

0:31:04.440 --> 0:31:06.640
<v Speaker 2>I was so confused at twenty So no I And

0:31:07.360 --> 0:31:10.880
<v Speaker 2>insofar as what happens to our bodies and you know,

0:31:10.920 --> 0:31:14.080
<v Speaker 2>our faces and whatever, I think it's kind of funny.

0:31:14.240 --> 0:31:17.360
<v Speaker 2>I think it's funny this dance that we're doing, trying

0:31:17.360 --> 0:31:21.000
<v Speaker 2>to trying to not be what we are. It's dumb,

0:31:21.200 --> 0:31:22.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, don't get me.

0:31:22.120 --> 0:31:26.000
<v Speaker 1>Seriously, like just never gonna work out. Your're going to

0:31:26.040 --> 0:31:26.320
<v Speaker 1>work in.

0:31:26.240 --> 0:31:28.040
<v Speaker 2>Your favor because even though and this is the thing,

0:31:28.080 --> 0:31:30.640
<v Speaker 2>you got a couple of choices, Okay, you're either going

0:31:30.680 --> 0:31:33.800
<v Speaker 2>to let it do whatever it's gonna do, and you're

0:31:33.800 --> 0:31:35.960
<v Speaker 2>gonna lean into it and be that. And we know

0:31:36.080 --> 0:31:39.120
<v Speaker 2>some beautiful, amazing images who are letting it be what

0:31:39.200 --> 0:31:39.680
<v Speaker 2>it's gonna be.

0:31:39.720 --> 0:31:42.200
<v Speaker 1>And I love what about when Jane Goodall there's a

0:31:42.200 --> 0:31:44.760
<v Speaker 1>lot of press around her death. She's always been one

0:31:44.760 --> 0:31:46.240
<v Speaker 1>of my favorites, and I just look at pictures of

0:31:46.280 --> 0:31:48.840
<v Speaker 1>her and I want to cuddle up in every nook

0:31:48.840 --> 0:31:50.320
<v Speaker 1>and cranny, every wrinkle.

0:31:50.960 --> 0:31:55.040
<v Speaker 2>It's like Helen Mirris, Helen Marres, Elamren, Helen Mirren is like,

0:31:55.160 --> 0:31:57.080
<v Speaker 2>this is what it is. I think Andy McDowell, I

0:31:57.160 --> 0:32:01.520
<v Speaker 2>think Harry Hatcher. They just like, I'm a beautiful woman

0:32:02.000 --> 0:32:04.520
<v Speaker 2>and I'm going to be a beautiful woman at every age.

0:32:04.600 --> 0:32:07.120
<v Speaker 2>And even if you don't consider yourself beautiful, I believe

0:32:07.160 --> 0:32:09.800
<v Speaker 2>every woman is beautiful. And I think you know what

0:32:09.920 --> 0:32:13.120
<v Speaker 2>a what is a wrinkle but a reminder of smiles.

0:32:13.880 --> 0:32:15.760
<v Speaker 2>I mean at the most part. Sometimes it's frowning too,

0:32:15.840 --> 0:32:17.960
<v Speaker 2>But for the most if you have smile lines and

0:32:18.320 --> 0:32:21.720
<v Speaker 2>crows feet, that means you had a really wonderful life. Yeah.

0:32:21.920 --> 0:32:24.640
<v Speaker 2>The idea that you want to completely erase it, I

0:32:24.680 --> 0:32:27.400
<v Speaker 2>don't understand. Now this is me talking at fifty four.

0:32:29.080 --> 0:32:32.000
<v Speaker 2>Catch me at sixty four. I might be snitched. I

0:32:32.080 --> 0:32:34.480
<v Speaker 2>don't know. I'm not against it. I'm not against it,

0:32:34.560 --> 0:32:35.320
<v Speaker 2>But what.

0:32:35.400 --> 0:32:38.560
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't think who could be against anything for someone else?

0:32:38.680 --> 0:32:38.720
<v Speaker 3>Like?

0:32:39.200 --> 0:32:41.400
<v Speaker 2>How about that? How about that? Like you do you

0:32:42.000 --> 0:32:45.080
<v Speaker 2>do me? I'm do me? And this is the thing.

0:32:45.240 --> 0:32:47.560
<v Speaker 2>I just think you should be honest about it because

0:32:47.560 --> 0:32:50.480
<v Speaker 2>if you've done something that has you looking like springtime

0:32:50.560 --> 0:32:53.760
<v Speaker 2>and you are well into the winter, you're being very

0:32:53.880 --> 0:32:56.760
<v Speaker 2>rude gate keeping that information. Drop the name of the

0:32:56.880 --> 0:32:59.920
<v Speaker 2>doctor for those that want to also look like springtime.

0:33:00.720 --> 0:33:01.760
<v Speaker 1>You tell the people what you did.

0:33:01.840 --> 0:33:03.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't see what you know. I've had it. I

0:33:03.600 --> 0:33:05.440
<v Speaker 2>got a little botox here because I get a little angry.

0:33:06.080 --> 0:33:08.600
<v Speaker 1>I get yeah, little thing and it's my mom has

0:33:08.640 --> 0:33:10.400
<v Speaker 1>it like I get.

0:33:10.280 --> 0:33:12.120
<v Speaker 2>A line like it looks like my whole forehead just

0:33:12.200 --> 0:33:14.600
<v Speaker 2>kind of sunk down on my non nose bridge. So

0:33:14.960 --> 0:33:17.000
<v Speaker 2>sometimes and I don't do it often, like maybe once

0:33:17.040 --> 0:33:20.080
<v Speaker 2>a year, I'll go. Sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not.

0:33:20.200 --> 0:33:21.720
<v Speaker 2>But I've made my peace with it because I also

0:33:21.840 --> 0:33:23.240
<v Speaker 2>am my actress and I want to be able to

0:33:23.280 --> 0:33:25.840
<v Speaker 2>lift my eyebrows and make faces all you do, you

0:33:25.920 --> 0:33:26.440
<v Speaker 2>can't do it.

0:33:26.960 --> 0:33:28.280
<v Speaker 1>You want to be able to express yourself.

0:33:28.320 --> 0:33:30.360
<v Speaker 2>I would love to. I would love my forehead to

0:33:30.360 --> 0:33:33.080
<v Speaker 2>tell what I'm thinking. You know, And but but again

0:33:33.320 --> 0:33:35.320
<v Speaker 2>that's a choice that I may make again, I may

0:33:35.360 --> 0:33:38.080
<v Speaker 2>never make again. I don't know. But your two choices

0:33:38.120 --> 0:33:41.960
<v Speaker 2>are regular what it is and snatch to the gods

0:33:43.280 --> 0:33:46.120
<v Speaker 2>or somewhere you know.

0:33:46.320 --> 0:33:46.640
<v Speaker 1>So you.

0:33:46.920 --> 0:33:48.640
<v Speaker 2>Everybody gets to decide what they do. But I don't

0:33:48.680 --> 0:33:52.600
<v Speaker 2>have a problem with it, and thankfully my husband doesn't

0:33:52.600 --> 0:33:54.680
<v Speaker 2>have a problem with it. Like I think, the saddest

0:33:54.720 --> 0:33:57.960
<v Speaker 2>thing is when a woman is with someone that wants

0:33:58.080 --> 0:34:00.560
<v Speaker 2>them to have bigger boobs or bigger but and the

0:34:00.640 --> 0:34:04.160
<v Speaker 2>woman is making these decisions or because society says that's

0:34:04.160 --> 0:34:06.800
<v Speaker 2>your spo. I just don't. I don't do it for you,

0:34:07.320 --> 0:34:08.920
<v Speaker 2>whatever it is, do it for you, don't do it

0:34:09.000 --> 0:34:10.759
<v Speaker 2>for someone else, and just let let it be what

0:34:10.880 --> 0:34:11.320
<v Speaker 2>it's gonna be.

0:34:11.640 --> 0:34:13.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's hard. I mean if you're built in a

0:34:14.360 --> 0:34:16.120
<v Speaker 1>brought up in a life where a lot of your

0:34:16.160 --> 0:34:20.120
<v Speaker 1>decisions are influenced by others, which I have definitely experienced.

0:34:20.239 --> 0:34:22.680
<v Speaker 2>Oh were you when you started acting? Y?

0:34:23.520 --> 0:34:26.760
<v Speaker 1>Gosh, I think seventeen, Yeah.

0:34:26.160 --> 0:34:28.120
<v Speaker 2>We can, we can. I take a moment. I need

0:34:28.200 --> 0:34:29.839
<v Speaker 2>to take Beverly Hill's net or two.

0:34:29.880 --> 0:34:30.399
<v Speaker 1>What a moment?

0:34:31.080 --> 0:34:33.759
<v Speaker 2>Moment Like eighteen nineteen year old me is like, I'm

0:34:33.800 --> 0:34:36.840
<v Speaker 2>talking to Kelly. I am so it was so wonderful

0:34:36.880 --> 0:34:39.600
<v Speaker 2>to meet you. I love that you are the chick

0:34:39.680 --> 0:34:41.719
<v Speaker 2>I thought you were, you know when I met you

0:34:41.840 --> 0:34:43.799
<v Speaker 2>at your at your event, I was just like, oh,

0:34:43.920 --> 0:34:46.160
<v Speaker 2>she's lovely, Like I always just knew that you were

0:34:46.200 --> 0:34:48.759
<v Speaker 2>a lovely human being. So it's so great as an

0:34:48.760 --> 0:34:50.480
<v Speaker 2>adult to get to meet you and also to get

0:34:50.520 --> 0:34:52.239
<v Speaker 2>to tell you that you did great work on that show.

0:34:52.600 --> 0:34:55.239
<v Speaker 2>Thank you. You're just You're just wonderful. So I'm so

0:34:55.360 --> 0:34:57.759
<v Speaker 2>glad that we our friendship has grown and on here

0:34:57.800 --> 0:34:58.560
<v Speaker 2>with you. I do.

0:34:58.680 --> 0:35:08.040
<v Speaker 1>I love calling you a friend. Okay, So what would

0:35:08.480 --> 0:35:12.239
<v Speaker 1>younger efat tell that at fifty four?

0:35:13.960 --> 0:35:15.160
<v Speaker 2>What would younger VET say?

0:35:15.520 --> 0:35:18.600
<v Speaker 1>Yes, what would younger Vets say? And then what would

0:35:18.640 --> 0:35:19.359
<v Speaker 1>older VET.

0:35:19.400 --> 0:35:23.120
<v Speaker 2>Say to younger to younger Evet if she saw how

0:35:23.239 --> 0:35:25.840
<v Speaker 2>we turned out? I think she would be so proud.

0:35:26.400 --> 0:35:28.759
<v Speaker 2>I think she would be like, man, you never sold out,

0:35:28.880 --> 0:35:32.040
<v Speaker 2>You never did anybody dirty, never did a casting couch.

0:35:32.480 --> 0:35:34.840
<v Speaker 2>I am I personally am very proud that I have

0:35:35.000 --> 0:35:37.319
<v Speaker 2>lived my life with integrity. And there is no one,

0:35:37.880 --> 0:35:39.839
<v Speaker 2>no honest person that can say I ever did any

0:35:39.880 --> 0:35:42.919
<v Speaker 2>harm to them intentionally in this business or in this world.

0:35:43.280 --> 0:35:45.520
<v Speaker 2>And if I have harmed someone by mistake, no one

0:35:45.600 --> 0:35:49.479
<v Speaker 2>apologizes faster. So I think Lily Vett, because she cared

0:35:49.520 --> 0:35:53.040
<v Speaker 2>about those things, would be so happy to realize that

0:35:53.560 --> 0:35:57.360
<v Speaker 2>a twenty five thirty year entertainment career did not change

0:35:57.520 --> 0:36:01.160
<v Speaker 2>who she was. Older Evet would say to young Evet,

0:36:01.600 --> 0:36:02.520
<v Speaker 2>it's okay.

0:36:03.600 --> 0:36:04.799
<v Speaker 1>That's tell all you need to say.

0:36:05.120 --> 0:36:09.400
<v Speaker 2>Yay girl, relaxed, breathe. You're gonna find them, You're gonna

0:36:09.640 --> 0:36:13.080
<v Speaker 2>have the career. You're gonna finally move to California. You know,

0:36:13.160 --> 0:36:15.759
<v Speaker 2>you're gonna survive the loss of your mom. Like all

0:36:15.840 --> 0:36:17.360
<v Speaker 2>these things that are gonna come that you think are

0:36:17.400 --> 0:36:19.200
<v Speaker 2>gonna take you out, they're not gonna take you out.

0:36:19.520 --> 0:36:21.719
<v Speaker 2>You're gonna be okay. Just you know, And I would

0:36:21.719 --> 0:36:23.520
<v Speaker 2>probably tell her to enjoy the journey a little more.

0:36:23.800 --> 0:36:27.320
<v Speaker 2>I was so angsty. Oh everything was so important. I

0:36:27.360 --> 0:36:29.000
<v Speaker 2>mean I'm still that way. I'm still very angsty. And

0:36:29.400 --> 0:36:31.480
<v Speaker 2>it's a lot of weight on every I need everything

0:36:31.560 --> 0:36:33.840
<v Speaker 2>to be perfect, and I should know what this is

0:36:34.080 --> 0:36:36.480
<v Speaker 2>with this grown age, and it's never gonna be perfect.

0:36:37.160 --> 0:36:39.719
<v Speaker 2>It just has to be decent. That's to be.

0:36:39.880 --> 0:36:41.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's be good, feel good.

0:36:42.120 --> 0:36:43.640
<v Speaker 2>It has to feel good to you and you have

0:36:43.719 --> 0:36:45.319
<v Speaker 2>to do no harm to others other than that. It's

0:36:45.360 --> 0:36:46.279
<v Speaker 2>gonna be what it's gonna be.

0:36:46.520 --> 0:36:49.560
<v Speaker 1>That's right. So last time we talked, I think we

0:36:49.719 --> 0:36:53.680
<v Speaker 1>touched a little bit on your h journey with type

0:36:53.719 --> 0:36:57.480
<v Speaker 1>two diabetes. So I want to know how you're doing. Now,

0:36:57.600 --> 0:36:59.759
<v Speaker 1>how's your health and what it is that you're doing.

0:37:00.120 --> 0:37:02.520
<v Speaker 1>Looks so amazing because you look really healthy.

0:37:02.800 --> 0:37:07.360
<v Speaker 2>I am very happy. And also that helps. That helps

0:37:07.560 --> 0:37:09.239
<v Speaker 2>my type two diabetes. Now, this is the thing. I

0:37:09.280 --> 0:37:12.560
<v Speaker 2>want people to understand type two and forgive me. This

0:37:12.640 --> 0:37:14.560
<v Speaker 2>is going to sound harsh, but Type I always say

0:37:14.600 --> 0:37:16.839
<v Speaker 2>that my type two is something I gave myself. It's

0:37:16.880 --> 0:37:19.360
<v Speaker 2>not in my family. It wasn't Type one. This was

0:37:19.440 --> 0:37:23.240
<v Speaker 2>me and donuts. This is me and jugs of sweet

0:37:23.280 --> 0:37:26.759
<v Speaker 2>and lemonade and donuts and not a lot of exercise.

0:37:26.880 --> 0:37:30.640
<v Speaker 2>That's I did this to my body. And so when

0:37:30.719 --> 0:37:33.600
<v Speaker 2>it happened, my doctor had been on me for probably

0:37:33.680 --> 0:37:35.560
<v Speaker 2>three or four years. You vet your pre diabetic, your

0:37:35.560 --> 0:37:37.719
<v Speaker 2>pre ditabetic, you're pre diabetic. And I was like, okay,

0:37:37.960 --> 0:37:40.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm so pre And then when I finally got it,

0:37:40.600 --> 0:37:42.320
<v Speaker 2>she didn't even call me. I mean, I mean she

0:37:42.360 --> 0:37:44.239
<v Speaker 2>didn't she didn't even wait to get me on the phone.

0:37:44.280 --> 0:37:46.920
<v Speaker 2>She left me a voicemail, well congratulations, you're finally diabetic.

0:37:47.239 --> 0:37:50.040
<v Speaker 2>And she was so upset with me, and I understood

0:37:50.040 --> 0:37:54.000
<v Speaker 2>her anger, but It also scared me straight because the

0:37:54.120 --> 0:37:57.840
<v Speaker 2>thing about diabetes in the black community, we call it sugar.

0:37:58.280 --> 0:38:00.600
<v Speaker 2>She got a little sugar, and we all know, for

0:38:00.680 --> 0:38:02.919
<v Speaker 2>the most part, most of us know someone that left

0:38:02.960 --> 0:38:05.800
<v Speaker 2>here missing a foot or a leg, you know, or

0:38:05.840 --> 0:38:08.200
<v Speaker 2>two legs like and so it's almost a joke in

0:38:08.280 --> 0:38:10.800
<v Speaker 2>the black community a lot of times, at least in

0:38:10.880 --> 0:38:12.320
<v Speaker 2>my family. I'll say, may not put it all on

0:38:12.360 --> 0:38:14.680
<v Speaker 2>black people, but in my family it was a joke like, oh, well,

0:38:14.719 --> 0:38:17.520
<v Speaker 2>you got a little touch of sugar. No, that's not cute,

0:38:18.080 --> 0:38:20.160
<v Speaker 2>and you shouldn't leave here without the body parts you

0:38:20.239 --> 0:38:22.360
<v Speaker 2>came with if you can help it. And so it

0:38:22.680 --> 0:38:26.600
<v Speaker 2>became team keep my feet. As I was feeling tingling

0:38:26.640 --> 0:38:27.600
<v Speaker 2>girls feet.

0:38:27.560 --> 0:38:30.160
<v Speaker 1>Tingling, I said, hey, tell me, why is that tingling

0:38:30.200 --> 0:38:34.239
<v Speaker 1>and the feet and possible amputation? Why is that diabetes?

0:38:34.400 --> 0:38:38.120
<v Speaker 2>It's neuropathy, Like your your the blood flow to your

0:38:38.200 --> 0:38:41.640
<v Speaker 2>extremity starts to be affected by the sugar. The sugar

0:38:41.760 --> 0:38:44.759
<v Speaker 2>destroys your blood vessels. It really destroys your body like

0:38:44.840 --> 0:38:47.080
<v Speaker 2>it could hurt. It affects your heart. Diabetes is a

0:38:47.160 --> 0:38:49.440
<v Speaker 2>horrible disease, and that's why to think of it as

0:38:49.480 --> 0:38:50.360
<v Speaker 2>a joke is dumb.

0:38:50.680 --> 0:38:50.919
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:38:51.040 --> 0:38:53.560
<v Speaker 2>Right. So when you start feeling the tingling in your fingers,

0:38:53.600 --> 0:38:56.160
<v Speaker 2>in your hands when you're diabetic, it's a sign that

0:38:56.320 --> 0:38:59.960
<v Speaker 2>nerves are are affected or they're dying. And once they die,

0:39:00.520 --> 0:39:02.320
<v Speaker 2>you know, you stub your toe or you get a

0:39:03.000 --> 0:39:04.840
<v Speaker 2>you step on a nail and you can't feel it

0:39:04.920 --> 0:39:06.640
<v Speaker 2>in your foot. Now you got a toe. This turned

0:39:06.640 --> 0:39:08.319
<v Speaker 2>into gang green. It got to cut the toe off.

0:39:08.640 --> 0:39:10.680
<v Speaker 2>It's all of those things. You have wounds that don't

0:39:10.760 --> 0:39:13.360
<v Speaker 2>heal because of the circulation. It's a lot of stuff.

0:39:13.680 --> 0:39:17.760
<v Speaker 1>I mean, sugar is like what the most I don't understand.

0:39:17.920 --> 0:39:21.319
<v Speaker 1>It's like legal, but it's like the most post powerful drug.

0:39:21.800 --> 0:39:23.880
<v Speaker 2>You know, take you out and it's so hard to

0:39:23.880 --> 0:39:24.400
<v Speaker 2>get off of it.

0:39:24.560 --> 0:39:25.560
<v Speaker 1>Yet it's in everything.

0:39:25.760 --> 0:39:27.640
<v Speaker 2>It's in everything, and that high fruit toe so to

0:39:27.680 --> 0:39:29.440
<v Speaker 2>take us out, and that's an American thing.

0:39:29.960 --> 0:39:30.080
<v Speaker 1>You know.

0:39:30.160 --> 0:39:33.440
<v Speaker 2>You go to Ireland or other countries and you eat

0:39:33.480 --> 0:39:36.399
<v Speaker 2>their food. There's no preservatives, there's no red dye, there's

0:39:36.440 --> 0:39:39.200
<v Speaker 2>no high fruit close corn serve. The portion sizes are small.

0:39:39.280 --> 0:39:42.279
<v Speaker 2>It's just a different, different world. But this is the

0:39:42.320 --> 0:39:45.160
<v Speaker 2>thing that I learned because I'm a researcher. As soon

0:39:45.200 --> 0:39:46.759
<v Speaker 2>as something comes my way, or I want to do

0:39:46.880 --> 0:39:49.879
<v Speaker 2>something new, I'm immediately at Barnes and Noble, buying every

0:39:49.920 --> 0:39:52.680
<v Speaker 2>book I can find and highlighting and dog gearing everything.

0:39:52.960 --> 0:39:57.960
<v Speaker 2>So I became a student of diabetes and health. And

0:39:58.080 --> 0:39:59.759
<v Speaker 2>the thing that I learned that changed my life is

0:39:59.760 --> 0:40:02.040
<v Speaker 2>all have to lose is seven to ten percent of

0:40:02.120 --> 0:40:06.799
<v Speaker 2>your body weight, and it automatically tells your pancreas get

0:40:06.880 --> 0:40:10.640
<v Speaker 2>back into game right and your insulin production gets better.

0:40:10.719 --> 0:40:13.799
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't cure diabetes, but it does help you get

0:40:14.000 --> 0:40:16.480
<v Speaker 2>towards the lane of being in remission. And that's what

0:40:16.600 --> 0:40:18.759
<v Speaker 2>I say. My numbers are normal. When I wake up

0:40:18.760 --> 0:40:21.080
<v Speaker 2>in the morning, I check my numbers, I'm eighty two ninety.

0:40:22.080 --> 0:40:23.960
<v Speaker 2>After I eat, I'm like one hundred and twenty. So

0:40:24.040 --> 0:40:25.759
<v Speaker 2>I am in a really great place. And all I

0:40:25.840 --> 0:40:29.120
<v Speaker 2>had to do was put the doughnuts down, exercise more,

0:40:29.600 --> 0:40:32.080
<v Speaker 2>and you know, just move my body more. And it's

0:40:32.160 --> 0:40:33.359
<v Speaker 2>not hard to do those things.

0:40:33.440 --> 0:40:37.319
<v Speaker 1>But some people think it's so hard that they continue

0:40:37.440 --> 0:40:41.000
<v Speaker 1>to not do it day after day after day. And

0:40:41.600 --> 0:40:44.520
<v Speaker 1>what I get into that sometimes and what is that

0:40:45.560 --> 0:40:49.040
<v Speaker 1>that is inside of me and other people that is like,

0:40:49.719 --> 0:40:51.239
<v Speaker 1>let's push that off to another day.

0:40:51.560 --> 0:40:57.319
<v Speaker 2>I think the problem with exercise is the dopamine rush

0:40:57.440 --> 0:41:00.480
<v Speaker 2>comes later. Like if you could get hit it a

0:41:00.520 --> 0:41:02.799
<v Speaker 2>dopamine before you walk into the gym, we'd be great.

0:41:02.840 --> 0:41:07.000
<v Speaker 2>But it's that feeling of accomplishment after that is wonderful.

0:41:07.040 --> 0:41:08.400
<v Speaker 2>And I got to thank you because then you you

0:41:08.560 --> 0:41:11.040
<v Speaker 2>you hit me, hook me up with your trainer, and

0:41:11.280 --> 0:41:14.160
<v Speaker 2>I tell you I have been dodging him. He has

0:41:14.239 --> 0:41:15.680
<v Speaker 2>reached out, just like I'm writing in line with what

0:41:15.760 --> 0:41:18.239
<v Speaker 2>you're saying. He has been reaching out. Bless his heart,

0:41:18.239 --> 0:41:21.800
<v Speaker 2>He's reached out like three day. He's like, you've so

0:41:21.880 --> 0:41:24.120
<v Speaker 2>he just reached out last week. And I need to

0:41:24.200 --> 0:41:26.960
<v Speaker 2>call him because I really do want to get a

0:41:27.080 --> 0:41:30.080
<v Speaker 2>regiment like I walk my dog and you know, a

0:41:30.120 --> 0:41:31.879
<v Speaker 2>couple of side bins in the house, but I want

0:41:31.920 --> 0:41:35.080
<v Speaker 2>to actually know that I'm getting up Monday, Wednesday and Friday,

0:41:35.160 --> 0:41:38.799
<v Speaker 2>ye going somewhere, and if it's Pilate's taichi waits, I'm

0:41:38.840 --> 0:41:41.560
<v Speaker 2>doing something because as we get older, we have to

0:41:41.640 --> 0:41:42.320
<v Speaker 2>build muscle.

0:41:42.480 --> 0:41:45.440
<v Speaker 1>We have to I mean, I'm on the thing right

0:41:45.520 --> 0:41:51.359
<v Speaker 1>now where my schedule got just too intense. I've been

0:41:51.400 --> 0:41:58.400
<v Speaker 1>traveling a lot every month, so many commitments every single

0:41:58.520 --> 0:42:01.120
<v Speaker 1>day on my calendar and I had to stop working

0:42:01.160 --> 0:42:04.080
<v Speaker 1>out with my trainer. I chose to stop working out

0:42:04.120 --> 0:42:08.840
<v Speaker 1>with my trainer because I needed more rest. I felt

0:42:08.960 --> 0:42:11.800
<v Speaker 1>like I can't take one more thing on, and so

0:42:12.800 --> 0:42:14.960
<v Speaker 1>thiss what happens? You take off the one thing that

0:42:15.080 --> 0:42:17.440
<v Speaker 1>actually matters the most to your well being.

0:42:17.480 --> 0:42:20.239
<v Speaker 2>Giving your energy, and then I'm going to go back.

0:42:20.640 --> 0:42:23.239
<v Speaker 1>I've got to go back. But I am in the

0:42:23.320 --> 0:42:26.239
<v Speaker 1>place where I'm like, I don't have time. Still don't

0:42:26.280 --> 0:42:26.640
<v Speaker 1>have time.

0:42:27.160 --> 0:42:29.000
<v Speaker 2>Do you guys go somewhere and work out? Does he

0:42:29.120 --> 0:42:30.400
<v Speaker 2>have a space? I haven't even gotten that far in

0:42:30.440 --> 0:42:32.120
<v Speaker 2>a conversation. Think he has a space.

0:42:33.000 --> 0:42:35.320
<v Speaker 1>I stopped working out with him, and he but he

0:42:35.440 --> 0:42:37.279
<v Speaker 1>has a great gym. And I miss going to the gym.

0:42:37.440 --> 0:42:40.160
<v Speaker 1>And the thing about working out that I do know

0:42:40.560 --> 0:42:42.120
<v Speaker 1>from doing it and then not doing it, and then

0:42:42.200 --> 0:42:43.640
<v Speaker 1>doing it and then not doing it all my life

0:42:44.200 --> 0:42:47.080
<v Speaker 1>is that that dopamine that you're that you're talking about,

0:42:47.200 --> 0:42:49.719
<v Speaker 1>is that what keeps you coming back? But after you

0:42:49.840 --> 0:42:53.279
<v Speaker 1>keep coming back, my dopamine would start leveling up on

0:42:53.480 --> 0:42:54.239
<v Speaker 1>the way to the gym.

0:42:54.440 --> 0:42:55.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh, she would get you would get excited.

0:42:55.880 --> 0:42:58.520
<v Speaker 1>My body would start getting its natural like, who here

0:42:58.600 --> 0:43:00.560
<v Speaker 1>we go with this? I know what's gonna happened now.

0:43:00.880 --> 0:43:05.440
<v Speaker 2>Never been there, never been consistent enough to get that.

0:43:05.680 --> 0:43:07.960
<v Speaker 2>But I but I look forward to it and I

0:43:08.120 --> 0:43:10.879
<v Speaker 2>do want, you know. And my husband likes to work out.

0:43:11.280 --> 0:43:13.280
<v Speaker 2>He doesn't do it because of me, because I'm a slug.

0:43:13.320 --> 0:43:14.640
<v Speaker 2>He doesn't do it as much as he. I think

0:43:14.680 --> 0:43:16.319
<v Speaker 2>if we find a really great gym and we could

0:43:16.360 --> 0:43:19.239
<v Speaker 2>go together, I think it'd be really really great. So

0:43:19.320 --> 0:43:19.880
<v Speaker 2>I need to do that.

0:43:20.280 --> 0:43:23.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I know, I need to figure what else, what's

0:43:23.760 --> 0:43:26.480
<v Speaker 1>next for me in that world. But it's it's one

0:43:26.520 --> 0:43:30.000
<v Speaker 1>of those weird things where I'm not alone because we're

0:43:30.280 --> 0:43:32.640
<v Speaker 1>all justify it, dodge it.

0:43:33.200 --> 0:43:35.080
<v Speaker 2>As long as I'm on the bottom of the you

0:43:35.160 --> 0:43:35.720
<v Speaker 2>are never.

0:43:37.239 --> 0:43:39.480
<v Speaker 1>At I just want, you know, I'm tired and at

0:43:39.520 --> 0:43:41.120
<v Speaker 1>the end of the day, I want to lay down

0:43:41.360 --> 0:43:43.000
<v Speaker 1>and I don't want to get up a five am.

0:43:43.080 --> 0:43:46.000
<v Speaker 1>I know a girl, gosh, someone I did an interview

0:43:46.080 --> 0:43:48.399
<v Speaker 1>recently said she gets up at five a m. Every

0:43:48.520 --> 0:43:51.400
<v Speaker 1>day to work out, and I thought I was like

0:43:52.000 --> 0:43:55.239
<v Speaker 1>breaking the you know, history by getting up and at

0:43:55.280 --> 0:43:57.640
<v Speaker 1>six am to get to the gym by seven. She

0:43:57.719 --> 0:44:01.640
<v Speaker 1>gets up at five works out at six. But that's

0:44:01.719 --> 0:44:03.279
<v Speaker 1>doesn't it's not Yeah, me.

0:44:03.400 --> 0:44:06.920
<v Speaker 2>Let me not say I can't, because I'm I can

0:44:07.080 --> 0:44:10.560
<v Speaker 2>say you can do it, you can do anything, but

0:44:10.840 --> 0:44:13.479
<v Speaker 2>I do. I think, you know, maybe that's my last

0:44:13.600 --> 0:44:15.439
<v Speaker 2>act in life, is I actually get in the best

0:44:16.239 --> 0:44:18.880
<v Speaker 2>physical shape of my life, Like that would be funny

0:44:18.880 --> 0:44:21.040
<v Speaker 2>if I was able to do that at seventy. Are

0:44:21.120 --> 0:44:22.880
<v Speaker 2>some people that start like they can do it? They

0:44:23.000 --> 0:44:23.200
<v Speaker 2>do it?

0:44:24.200 --> 0:44:26.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean I did it ramping up to fifty,

0:44:27.680 --> 0:44:29.800
<v Speaker 1>got an amazing shape, felt amazing.

0:44:30.400 --> 0:44:33.400
<v Speaker 2>Then you know you're still I mean, I know you

0:44:33.800 --> 0:44:35.240
<v Speaker 2>were at the peak, but you're still.

0:44:35.800 --> 0:44:44.480
<v Speaker 1>Kind of keep it going. Yeah, I mean, what are

0:44:44.520 --> 0:44:47.440
<v Speaker 1>you doing right now that in your life? That are

0:44:47.480 --> 0:44:51.480
<v Speaker 1>the little ways that you're eating well, eating consistently, probably

0:44:51.520 --> 0:44:52.320
<v Speaker 1>for your blood sugar.

0:44:52.560 --> 0:44:55.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, what else am I doing again?

0:44:56.520 --> 0:44:58.759
<v Speaker 1>In it for anything? For your skin, for your just

0:44:58.880 --> 0:45:02.680
<v Speaker 1>your mental health, like for because it's all connected.

0:45:03.160 --> 0:45:04.759
<v Speaker 2>It is. And I wish that I could say that

0:45:04.800 --> 0:45:06.560
<v Speaker 2>I was better at self care, because I'm really not.

0:45:06.880 --> 0:45:07.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:45:07.480 --> 0:45:11.080
<v Speaker 2>I the thing that's keeping me fed well is my

0:45:11.200 --> 0:45:14.960
<v Speaker 2>husband because he's a great, great cook and really like it,

0:45:15.040 --> 0:45:19.239
<v Speaker 2>alacky great cook, so he enjoys cooking all the meals. So,

0:45:19.960 --> 0:45:23.640
<v Speaker 2>oh my gosh, I know I'm crazy. I know, it's crazy.

0:45:23.719 --> 0:45:26.080
<v Speaker 2>So along with my tea every morning I get some.

0:45:26.760 --> 0:45:28.960
<v Speaker 2>You know, this morning we had we had grits with

0:45:29.760 --> 0:45:32.359
<v Speaker 2>plant based sausages and like a pepper relish on top

0:45:32.400 --> 0:45:34.759
<v Speaker 2>of the sausage like that. That was my breakfast. Come on,

0:45:35.239 --> 0:45:36.640
<v Speaker 2>he's not playing, Tony, ain't planting.

0:45:36.840 --> 0:45:38.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm half of a faux nut for breakfast.

0:45:40.320 --> 0:45:42.640
<v Speaker 2>Well that was me for so many years, so many

0:45:42.719 --> 0:45:44.640
<v Speaker 2>years because I didn't take I just didn't take good

0:45:44.640 --> 0:45:47.319
<v Speaker 2>care of myself. So the food is is that I'm

0:45:47.360 --> 0:45:50.759
<v Speaker 2>also going to the doctor more often now because I

0:45:50.840 --> 0:45:53.600
<v Speaker 2>have more of a reason to stay healthy and you

0:45:53.719 --> 0:45:57.440
<v Speaker 2>know alive. I'm living for other, for another person now,

0:45:57.560 --> 0:45:59.560
<v Speaker 2>not just for myself. Right. I was like that when

0:45:59.600 --> 0:46:00.920
<v Speaker 2>I was just care for my dad. But it's just

0:46:00.960 --> 0:46:02.880
<v Speaker 2>different when it's your spouse. You just really want to

0:46:03.000 --> 0:46:05.759
<v Speaker 2>be healthy for them and have a good life with them.

0:46:05.840 --> 0:46:09.359
<v Speaker 2>So that's part of it. As far as mental health,

0:46:09.440 --> 0:46:12.799
<v Speaker 2>I really think I need to put the social apps down.

0:46:13.160 --> 0:46:16.560
<v Speaker 2>And it's been really hard, Like it's the first thing

0:46:16.600 --> 0:46:18.399
<v Speaker 2>I pick up in the morning, the last my phone

0:46:18.480 --> 0:46:19.879
<v Speaker 2>is the last thing I touched before I go to bed.

0:46:20.320 --> 0:46:22.440
<v Speaker 2>And then if it's not that, it's watching YouTube and

0:46:22.719 --> 0:46:26.279
<v Speaker 2>just my brain is full of gunk and I need

0:46:26.400 --> 0:46:29.120
<v Speaker 2>to fill it. I need to read more, like I miss.

0:46:29.480 --> 0:46:31.239
<v Speaker 2>I used to read novels back to back, like I

0:46:31.320 --> 0:46:34.160
<v Speaker 2>need to get back to reading. And I wonder if

0:46:34.200 --> 0:46:36.840
<v Speaker 2>it's when I started wearing readers at my reading I

0:46:36.880 --> 0:46:38.640
<v Speaker 2>didn't read as much because I couldn't see and I

0:46:38.680 --> 0:46:42.200
<v Speaker 2>couldn't find the right number for the readers, and you can't.

0:46:44.080 --> 0:46:46.120
<v Speaker 2>It's just a lot of work to read now.

0:46:47.000 --> 0:46:48.880
<v Speaker 1>And it's just also a lot of work to like

0:46:50.160 --> 0:46:52.480
<v Speaker 1>let yourself go there, like let yourself turn all the

0:46:52.560 --> 0:46:54.120
<v Speaker 1>other things out and just read.

0:46:54.040 --> 0:46:57.800
<v Speaker 2>Because there's always something to do. And our email box

0:46:58.080 --> 0:47:02.160
<v Speaker 2>is always overrun, our text are overrun. Do you remember

0:47:02.360 --> 0:47:04.800
<v Speaker 2>back in the day when you could leave your house

0:47:05.000 --> 0:47:08.040
<v Speaker 2>and no one could call your body, Like while you

0:47:08.120 --> 0:47:11.440
<v Speaker 2>were away from your home, you were in the world,

0:47:11.880 --> 0:47:13.840
<v Speaker 2>and if you had to call somebody, you had to

0:47:13.880 --> 0:47:16.960
<v Speaker 2>go find somebody with a phone in the business or

0:47:17.040 --> 0:47:20.440
<v Speaker 2>a payphone. But otherwise you had a great day just

0:47:20.560 --> 0:47:24.080
<v Speaker 2>out in the world, not living, living, not being at

0:47:24.120 --> 0:47:28.200
<v Speaker 2>anybody's back and call. I don't I'm literally in my

0:47:28.360 --> 0:47:31.239
<v Speaker 2>car at red lights, just checking and make sure I

0:47:31.280 --> 0:47:32.280
<v Speaker 2>didn't miss something.

0:47:32.120 --> 0:47:33.120
<v Speaker 1>That what has happened to us?

0:47:33.200 --> 0:47:37.440
<v Speaker 2>What has happened to us that we can't be away?

0:47:37.520 --> 0:47:39.239
<v Speaker 2>Like even just being on this talking to you for

0:47:39.640 --> 0:47:42.520
<v Speaker 2>I Choose Me podcasts. We've been on for about forty

0:47:42.560 --> 0:47:45.600
<v Speaker 2>five minutes now, right, and I'm like, oh God, emails

0:47:45.640 --> 0:47:49.040
<v Speaker 2>are probably emails or what did I What did they

0:47:49.120 --> 0:47:50.759
<v Speaker 2>do in Washington that I missed out on that I'm

0:47:50.800 --> 0:47:52.920
<v Speaker 2>going to have to fight against in an hour and

0:47:53.040 --> 0:47:55.480
<v Speaker 2>I can't. I have to figure out how to just

0:47:55.680 --> 0:47:58.880
<v Speaker 2>be in this moment with you, in this soon, on

0:47:59.040 --> 0:48:01.879
<v Speaker 2>this podcast and let everything else just kind of fall away.

0:48:02.520 --> 0:48:04.800
<v Speaker 2>And I miss I miss that. So mental health is

0:48:05.800 --> 0:48:09.439
<v Speaker 2>reading more, putting the phone down, getting to spend time

0:48:09.480 --> 0:48:13.279
<v Speaker 2>with people. I had lunch yesterday this weekend with one

0:48:13.320 --> 0:48:16.120
<v Speaker 2>of my friends from my early twenties that when I

0:48:16.160 --> 0:48:18.279
<v Speaker 2>first started out. We did a touring play together when

0:48:18.320 --> 0:48:20.680
<v Speaker 2>we were like twenty six twenty seven years old, and

0:48:20.800 --> 0:48:23.200
<v Speaker 2>I haven't seen her since my wedding, so it's been

0:48:23.200 --> 0:48:25.360
<v Speaker 2>almost a year since i've seen her. I didn't know

0:48:25.400 --> 0:48:26.759
<v Speaker 2>what was happening in her life, she didn't know what

0:48:26.880 --> 0:48:29.080
<v Speaker 2>was happening in mine, aside from what we saw on

0:48:29.280 --> 0:48:31.840
<v Speaker 2>social media. I was so happy to sit with Demika

0:48:31.960 --> 0:48:34.279
<v Speaker 2>and go out to your mama. You know, who are

0:48:34.280 --> 0:48:36.680
<v Speaker 2>you dating? You know? Oh, I like in Little Purse

0:48:36.719 --> 0:48:38.560
<v Speaker 2>where you get that like we got to have a

0:48:38.640 --> 0:48:42.319
<v Speaker 2>real sister friend catch up in person, and I want

0:48:42.360 --> 0:48:44.279
<v Speaker 2>to do more of that. And that's a mental health

0:48:46.480 --> 0:48:50.040
<v Speaker 2>adjustment and infusion of joy as well.

0:48:50.800 --> 0:48:56.160
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's really hard to maintain all the things. Yeah,

0:48:56.440 --> 0:48:59.919
<v Speaker 1>the health, the fitness, health, the healthcare, the mental health,

0:49:00.040 --> 0:49:05.360
<v Speaker 1>the relationship, the relationships, the marriage, the dad's friends, the jobs,

0:49:05.520 --> 0:49:09.520
<v Speaker 1>the dog. It's a lot, it is. We're spreads then,

0:49:09.960 --> 0:49:10.520
<v Speaker 1>we really are.

0:49:10.719 --> 0:49:15.480
<v Speaker 2>And you know, there's there's a statement that says, you know,

0:49:16.040 --> 0:49:20.000
<v Speaker 2>women live longer when they're single, men live longer when

0:49:20.000 --> 0:49:24.960
<v Speaker 2>they're married. And that's because of the amount of caregiving

0:49:25.120 --> 0:49:28.160
<v Speaker 2>that we give as women in general, whether it's your dad,

0:49:28.280 --> 0:49:31.600
<v Speaker 2>your kids, your husband, your friends. Women just roll our

0:49:31.640 --> 0:49:34.359
<v Speaker 2>sleeves up and what do you need? And we put

0:49:34.400 --> 0:49:37.279
<v Speaker 2>ourselves last. That's like the biggest mistake that we make.

0:49:37.880 --> 0:49:40.400
<v Speaker 2>And we see and I think I can speak for

0:49:40.480 --> 0:49:42.680
<v Speaker 2>all of us when I say a lot of us,

0:49:42.760 --> 0:49:44.839
<v Speaker 2>most of us see self care and selfishness. Well, who

0:49:44.920 --> 0:49:47.480
<v Speaker 2>am I to go have a massage? I can't go

0:49:47.560 --> 0:49:48.600
<v Speaker 2>away and do a spot day.

0:49:48.880 --> 0:49:52.840
<v Speaker 1>Somebody needs me, somebody needs you, You need you, you

0:49:53.000 --> 0:49:54.320
<v Speaker 1>need you know it for you.

0:49:55.160 --> 0:49:57.920
<v Speaker 2>Take yourself out for a nice you know, lunch, or

0:49:58.040 --> 0:50:00.600
<v Speaker 2>go see a movie, get your nails done, go sit

0:50:00.719 --> 0:50:02.640
<v Speaker 2>on the beach and watch the waves come in. We

0:50:02.840 --> 0:50:06.719
<v Speaker 2>have to do things for ourselves so we still feel

0:50:06.800 --> 0:50:09.040
<v Speaker 2>alive and and and you know, still put your own

0:50:09.080 --> 0:50:11.520
<v Speaker 2>oxygen mask on first. I'm I need to put my

0:50:11.600 --> 0:50:13.600
<v Speaker 2>oxygen mask on. A lot of women need to do that,

0:50:13.960 --> 0:50:14.120
<v Speaker 2>you know.

0:50:14.480 --> 0:50:17.600
<v Speaker 1>And when you put it on, you're probably going to

0:50:17.640 --> 0:50:18.479
<v Speaker 1>take it off at some point.

0:50:18.800 --> 0:50:20.560
<v Speaker 2>At some point we get to get a couple of goods,

0:50:20.719 --> 0:50:23.239
<v Speaker 2>gotta get it back a couple offs and before you

0:50:23.320 --> 0:50:24.399
<v Speaker 2>take it off, then.

0:50:24.320 --> 0:50:27.120
<v Speaker 1>Put it back on. But it's okay to give yourself

0:50:27.160 --> 0:50:29.879
<v Speaker 1>a break, everybody. Because there's so much talk about taking

0:50:29.920 --> 0:50:32.479
<v Speaker 1>care of ourselves better and all the lists of things

0:50:32.560 --> 0:50:34.320
<v Speaker 1>now that we can do to take care of ourselves,

0:50:34.360 --> 0:50:35.600
<v Speaker 1>and that has got me stressed out.

0:50:36.760 --> 0:50:38.600
<v Speaker 2>Like you got to figure out which which resort am

0:50:38.640 --> 0:50:41.160
<v Speaker 2>I going to? What massage? Am I getting what nail

0:50:41.200 --> 0:50:43.720
<v Speaker 2>color am I picking? I gotta drives It all becomes

0:50:43.760 --> 0:50:46.200
<v Speaker 2>work after a while. Like for me, the biggest self

0:50:46.239 --> 0:50:49.480
<v Speaker 2>care is just not getting out of bed some days. Yep,

0:50:51.040 --> 0:50:54.719
<v Speaker 2>today and and I'm going to realize that it's not

0:50:55.400 --> 0:50:58.440
<v Speaker 2>selfish to just lay here because if your body needs it,

0:50:58.480 --> 0:50:59.480
<v Speaker 2>give give the body what.

0:50:59.560 --> 0:51:01.680
<v Speaker 1>It needs, you know, listen to your body. I think

0:51:01.719 --> 0:51:05.520
<v Speaker 1>that's the core of every relationship, whether it's your relationship

0:51:05.560 --> 0:51:08.000
<v Speaker 1>with yourself, is the listening to your body to what

0:51:08.160 --> 0:51:11.600
<v Speaker 1>you need. Len your relationship with your loved ones is

0:51:11.680 --> 0:51:15.160
<v Speaker 1>actually listening, sitting and being present and listening to where

0:51:15.239 --> 0:51:18.200
<v Speaker 1>they are, because that's how you connect with them. That's

0:51:18.239 --> 0:51:22.640
<v Speaker 1>how you the level that is beneficial anyway, all true,

0:51:23.000 --> 0:51:26.360
<v Speaker 1>All true? Well, give us some just a little advice

0:51:26.440 --> 0:51:31.200
<v Speaker 1>on how to have healthy and genuine female relationships, sisterhood

0:51:31.440 --> 0:51:35.040
<v Speaker 1>and all of those wonderful things like if you're if

0:51:35.080 --> 0:51:37.840
<v Speaker 1>you don't have that in your life right now, you.

0:51:37.880 --> 0:51:41.520
<v Speaker 2>Know, I think I have this thing where you know,

0:51:41.640 --> 0:51:45.640
<v Speaker 2>everyone will decide a friendship is over because the person

0:51:46.560 --> 0:51:48.759
<v Speaker 2>hasn't done what they want them to do. They're not

0:51:48.840 --> 0:51:51.160
<v Speaker 2>the kind of friend that they need. I've n did

0:51:51.200 --> 0:51:53.839
<v Speaker 2>friendships because I'm not the kind of friend they need.

0:51:54.800 --> 0:51:58.200
<v Speaker 2>Right So it's important as you as you move through

0:51:58.280 --> 0:52:01.800
<v Speaker 2>life and build friendships and all those things that you

0:52:02.480 --> 0:52:06.040
<v Speaker 2>show up authentically and lovingly. If you have any friendships

0:52:06.120 --> 0:52:08.360
<v Speaker 2>or people in your life that you don't love like

0:52:08.480 --> 0:52:10.919
<v Speaker 2>that or you don't care about like that, it's better

0:52:10.960 --> 0:52:13.400
<v Speaker 2>to end the friendship for them now. In so far

0:52:13.480 --> 0:52:15.920
<v Speaker 2>as finding your group of people, the only way you

0:52:16.000 --> 0:52:20.280
<v Speaker 2>can find your group is by being fully yourself, unapologetically.

0:52:20.440 --> 0:52:24.480
<v Speaker 2>I am very nerdy. I enjoy binge, watching shows like

0:52:24.560 --> 0:52:28.360
<v Speaker 2>The Walk and Dead and ted Lasso and Abbot Elementary,

0:52:28.400 --> 0:52:31.160
<v Speaker 2>and I love building Lego and you know I love

0:52:31.480 --> 0:52:35.680
<v Speaker 2>seventies and eighties R and B and sitcoms from the eighties.

0:52:35.760 --> 0:52:38.360
<v Speaker 2>This is who I am. If I hide any of

0:52:38.480 --> 0:52:42.359
<v Speaker 2>those things about myself, the Mothership can't call me home.

0:52:42.960 --> 0:52:45.640
<v Speaker 2>So I'm very clear and honest about all those things

0:52:45.680 --> 0:52:48.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't. I'm not ashamed of still of building a

0:52:48.960 --> 0:52:52.440
<v Speaker 2>Barbie dreamhouse reatsimly with my old ass. I'm not ashamed

0:52:52.520 --> 0:52:55.840
<v Speaker 2>of collecting barbiees and Star Wars memorabilia. I'm not ashamed

0:52:55.840 --> 0:52:58.560
<v Speaker 2>of loving Sesame Street all in the Muppets. All of

0:52:58.640 --> 0:53:01.719
<v Speaker 2>these things make me. And because I let my freak

0:53:01.800 --> 0:53:04.160
<v Speaker 2>flag fly in a thousand different ways, the other people

0:53:04.280 --> 0:53:06.640
<v Speaker 2>that like the things I like are like, oh, I

0:53:06.760 --> 0:53:08.640
<v Speaker 2>like Janet Jackson, let's go to a concert or oh

0:53:08.880 --> 0:53:11.120
<v Speaker 2>I love them muppet. You know Jim Henson's company is

0:53:11.160 --> 0:53:12.920
<v Speaker 2>doing something here you want to go and next thing

0:53:13.000 --> 0:53:15.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, you're hanging out with people that you like,

0:53:15.280 --> 0:53:17.640
<v Speaker 2>doing things that you like. And also, once you get them,

0:53:18.160 --> 0:53:21.040
<v Speaker 2>be a good friend. Don't talk about nobody behind their back,

0:53:21.320 --> 0:53:25.320
<v Speaker 2>don't steal nobody's man, don't gossip to the point of

0:53:25.960 --> 0:53:29.240
<v Speaker 2>tearing people down. Be a decent human being, and build

0:53:30.280 --> 0:53:33.480
<v Speaker 2>a lovely friendship life with like minded kind people.

0:53:33.920 --> 0:53:37.640
<v Speaker 1>Not so good, Yeah, we all need that that Nicole Brown.

0:53:37.640 --> 0:53:39.120
<v Speaker 1>Before I let you go, I want to ask you

0:53:39.200 --> 0:53:43.600
<v Speaker 1>one last question. What was your last I choose me moment?

0:53:44.360 --> 0:53:49.200
<v Speaker 2>Ooh, you know, it probably was this podcast actually because

0:53:49.680 --> 0:53:51.800
<v Speaker 2>one in saying yes to it, I was choosing me

0:53:51.840 --> 0:53:53.439
<v Speaker 2>because I just loved me. Using Jenni Garth, I wanted

0:53:53.440 --> 0:53:55.960
<v Speaker 2>to have this conversation. But the other part of it

0:53:56.120 --> 0:53:59.040
<v Speaker 2>is I knew that it was better for me to

0:53:59.160 --> 0:54:01.520
<v Speaker 2>do it virtually than to come to your beautiful home.

0:54:02.040 --> 0:54:03.879
<v Speaker 2>And even though we had planned for me to get

0:54:03.960 --> 0:54:07.440
<v Speaker 2>up and come to you today, yesterday I asked my

0:54:07.480 --> 0:54:09.719
<v Speaker 2>assistant if she could reach out to your people and

0:54:09.800 --> 0:54:12.279
<v Speaker 2>see if we could do it virtually instead, and you

0:54:12.400 --> 0:54:15.120
<v Speaker 2>were like, absolutely, which is the greatest gift you gave me.

0:54:15.760 --> 0:54:18.160
<v Speaker 2>But it was me choosing me to know that if

0:54:18.239 --> 0:54:20.759
<v Speaker 2>I had to go to you, I had to get

0:54:20.840 --> 0:54:22.960
<v Speaker 2>up two hours earlier, I had to drive, I had

0:54:23.000 --> 0:54:24.400
<v Speaker 2>to make sure that I had clothes on from the

0:54:24.440 --> 0:54:26.600
<v Speaker 2>waist down and not just ropped down the pants. There

0:54:26.640 --> 0:54:30.080
<v Speaker 2>were a lot of things that went into it, and I, hey,

0:54:30.680 --> 0:54:36.759
<v Speaker 2>look at this. They matched, but their pajamas mine don't

0:54:36.800 --> 0:54:40.600
<v Speaker 2>even match. So it's like, I chose that. And look now,

0:54:40.960 --> 0:54:43.560
<v Speaker 2>in choosing me, I chose I chose you a better

0:54:43.719 --> 0:54:45.880
<v Speaker 2>morning for you, so you didn't have to make the

0:54:45.960 --> 0:54:48.600
<v Speaker 2>house into something you didn't tuckle down. Yeah, it's a

0:54:48.640 --> 0:54:50.600
<v Speaker 2>beautiful thing. And so that's the lesson we learned. When

0:54:50.640 --> 0:54:54.160
<v Speaker 2>we choose ourselves and we don't do it selfishly, yeah,

0:54:54.400 --> 0:54:56.080
<v Speaker 2>or even if we do sometimes it's all right, sometimes

0:54:56.560 --> 0:54:59.439
<v Speaker 2>it's okay. But when we choose ourselves, which is really

0:54:59.520 --> 0:55:03.400
<v Speaker 2>choosing the greater good for ourselves, then it encourages and

0:55:03.440 --> 0:55:05.080
<v Speaker 2>it invites other people to do the same.

0:55:05.280 --> 0:55:09.080
<v Speaker 1>That's right, that's good. I think it's so important. Well,

0:55:09.480 --> 0:55:11.920
<v Speaker 1>thank you so much for being everybody has to be

0:55:12.000 --> 0:55:15.280
<v Speaker 1>sure to check out the second season of Squeeze Squeezed,

0:55:15.840 --> 0:55:20.600
<v Speaker 1>your podcasts, Yes, and check out your movie November twenty second. Yes,

0:55:21.160 --> 0:55:21.520
<v Speaker 1>I love it.

0:55:21.920 --> 0:55:22.520
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, Annie,