1 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:18,239 Speaker 1: Hey guys, welcome to I Do Part two, the podcast 2 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 1: where we talk about all the stuff that happens when 3 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:23,480 Speaker 1: the marriage doesn't work out, or when maybe you were 4 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,760 Speaker 1: married for many years and life just happened and now 5 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: you find yourself back on your own for the very 6 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,480 Speaker 1: first time. I'm Cheryl Burke, one of your celebrity mentors 7 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:34,800 Speaker 1: here on the pod, and I think what a lot 8 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: of people have learned about me I have to say 9 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 1: through this podcast and this show is that I take 10 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:44,280 Speaker 1: my finances pretty seriously. I've been really open about my 11 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,920 Speaker 1: thoughts on prenups, divorce, and so today I wanted to 12 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 1: talk about money and relationships. Get sticky. My guest today 13 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: is a founder, CEO and the host of the podcast 14 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: Her Money, and she's a New York Times bestselling author 15 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:04,039 Speaker 1: of Women With Money. Please welcome Jeene Chatsky to the pod. 16 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 1: Welcome to I DO Part two. How are you doing? 17 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:09,199 Speaker 1: I'm good. 18 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 2: Thanks for having me, of. 19 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 1: Course, thanks for coming on. Let's just get right into it. So, 20 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 1: for people who have gone through divorce, would you say 21 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:23,119 Speaker 1: that when you start dating again, like, how long into 22 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: the dating phase do you just ask about credit scores 23 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 1: and being completely transparent about you know each other's finances. 24 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 2: I don't think complete transparency is something that you have 25 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 2: to something that you have to approach until you know 26 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,520 Speaker 2: that this is a relationship that at least has at 27 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:47,160 Speaker 2: least has some legs, right, And I say this, God no, 28 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:53,080 Speaker 2: and I am I was divorced. So I was married 29 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 2: for a long time, had two kids, got divorced at 30 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 2: age forty or separated at age forty, and got remarried 31 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:12,359 Speaker 2: about five years later. And so I've been through this 32 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:20,799 Speaker 2: and know exactly what you need to cough up and when. 33 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 2: And here's the thing. You don't want to be dishonest. 34 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 2: You never want to be dishonest. You never want to 35 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 2: hide important facts about your financial life. But I think 36 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 2: that the most important thing is to align on with 37 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:42,240 Speaker 2: a potential new lifetime partner or even somebody that you're 38 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 2: going to just date for a long time. Are hey, 39 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:52,080 Speaker 2: do we have the same ideas of goals? Do we 40 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 2: have the same ideas of values? Do we think the 41 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 2: same way about spend a lot of money on dinner 42 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 2: or a little money on dinner? How do we feel 43 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 2: about our travel vacations? And what's on my plate that 44 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 2: I need to take care of and what's on your 45 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,799 Speaker 2: plate that you need to take care of? And how 46 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:20,639 Speaker 2: are we going to have our own life with these 47 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 2: separate responsibilities existing. 48 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,920 Speaker 1: To the side, I think, all, yeah, I hear you, 49 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 1: and I believe that is maybe an initial conversation when 50 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: you have chosen to take this relationship seriously. But like, 51 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: there's also debt, and if you do marry each other, 52 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 1: it becomes your debt. 53 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 2: And it's well, not necessarily, it doesn't necessarily, no, not 54 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 2: even if you don't sign a prenup. So if I 55 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 2: come into and by the way, I think you should 56 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:55,600 Speaker 2: sign a prenup. Right in many second marriages, you come 57 00:03:55,640 --> 00:04:02,839 Speaker 2: in with a house or a business, or children or assets, 58 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 2: an expected inheritance, sign a prenup. It's no big deal. 59 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: Well for some it is. 60 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 2: Well maybe, I mean, I don't think it should be 61 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 2: a big deal. I think it's a big deal because 62 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,279 Speaker 2: we make it a big deal. I think it's a 63 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 2: big deal because we give it emotional heft that maybe 64 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,480 Speaker 2: it doesn't really deserve. 65 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: I agree, because you have to separate the emotion and 66 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,479 Speaker 1: the fact that you know your two individuals. You each 67 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 1: have your own finances that you've either worked and or 68 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:37,719 Speaker 1: going to inherit and respect that as an individual person. 69 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:43,480 Speaker 1: I think that with men, I've experienced that there's a 70 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:47,279 Speaker 1: lot of shame behind money and there's a lot of 71 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:52,000 Speaker 1: and that's when the emotions maybe are not necessarily communicated 72 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 1: because that person may not know how or there's shame 73 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 1: period and they don't want to talk about it. So 74 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: like it does get emotional complicated. 75 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:04,960 Speaker 2: I think, yeah, I mean, I'm certainly not gonna spend 76 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,279 Speaker 2: after spending thirty years writing about money, I'm certainly not 77 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 2: gonna argue that fact. 78 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 1: Right. 79 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:14,200 Speaker 2: That's it's totally true. There is a lot of shame. 80 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,279 Speaker 2: There's a lot of you know, if you feel like 81 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 2: you have too little, there's shame. If you feel like 82 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:21,240 Speaker 2: you have debt, there's shame. If you feel like there's 83 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:25,840 Speaker 2: too much, there's guilt. Right, If you feel like you're 84 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 2: living in a way that you perhaps don't deserve to live, 85 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 2: there's guilt. And all of these emotional forces fight themselves. 86 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 2: But let me just come back to that debt thing 87 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 2: for a second, because it's important if you come into 88 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 2: a relationship to a marriage and you've got student loan debt, 89 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 2: or you've got a credit card that you owe money on, 90 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 2: or a mortgage that you borrowed money on, that's your debt. 91 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:58,799 Speaker 2: That's not your spouse's debt money. If you get married 92 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:03,239 Speaker 2: and you borrow money together, that's both of your debt. 93 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:08,159 Speaker 2: But you can and part of a prenup is keeping 94 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 2: your debts separate, so you don't want to co mingle. 95 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 2: You don't want to start taking responsibility for each other's 96 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 2: debts because things get messy, and you want to understand 97 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,680 Speaker 2: what that person's responsibilities are and how it might impact 98 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:26,480 Speaker 2: your life. Because if somebody comes into a marriage or 99 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:30,280 Speaker 2: a relationship and they've already got a boatload of debt, 100 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 2: chances are they also have a not great credit score, 101 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:39,520 Speaker 2: and that's going to make the goal of buying a 102 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 2: place for the two of you to live harder. Right, 103 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 2: That's that's just going to get in the way of 104 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 2: the life that you want to live. So you've got 105 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 2: to be honest about these things. But you don't have 106 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 2: to pay his credit card bills. 107 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,040 Speaker 1: Okay, good to know. Good to know, especially for those 108 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,320 Speaker 1: that are maybe in a similar you know or wise 109 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 1: in a similar situation. But how about if let's say 110 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,480 Speaker 1: your house is about to be for club, right, how 111 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 1: about that and then you marry into that like that, 112 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 1: does that not fall into your lap whatsoever? But what 113 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 1: if there's no prenup, it's not your debt still, no 114 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: matter what. Okay, unless you are on the deed of 115 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:13,640 Speaker 1: that house, got it. 116 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 2: If it's if it's your partner's house, it's it's not 117 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 2: your debt. 118 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: Now is that in the state, in the whole country 119 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 1: or is that just specific too because it's. 120 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 2: Your state there state by state laws and in community 121 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,280 Speaker 2: property states. It does get a little squishy. But as 122 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 2: far as I understand it, and I am not a lawyer, 123 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 2: but I have done this for a long time. Yeah, 124 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 2: it's not your debt. Where where it gets messy is 125 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 2: if you are married to somebody and you're living in 126 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 2: this house and that house gets foreclosed on whether or 127 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 2: not you're legally responsible to kick in some money to 128 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 2: pay for that house. You're going to kick in some 129 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 2: money to pay for that house, right, yeah, because because 130 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,880 Speaker 2: of course that's that's what you're to do. You're gonna 131 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 2: look at your life in many cases and you're gonna say, 132 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 2: I've got some money, let me, let me do this. 133 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 2: And unless you then really paper it up, you have 134 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 2: co mingled these assets, and that money of yours has 135 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 2: just gone into that house of his. It's kind of 136 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 2: like I've gotten letters from from some of my readers 137 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 2: that at her Money, which is my company, my blog, 138 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 2: and I've gotten letters basically saying, I'm moving in with 139 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 2: my boyfriend to this house that he owns. He wants 140 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 2: me to pay rent? Is that fair? Right? And the 141 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 2: rent could be going to build equity for your boyfriend. 142 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 1: You're not married. 143 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:58,960 Speaker 2: He owns that house, You don't own that house, So 144 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,400 Speaker 2: it gets real fast. 145 00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:02,960 Speaker 1: What do you think it depends? 146 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,079 Speaker 2: I think it depends on how much rent? 147 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:05,640 Speaker 1: Right? 148 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:11,439 Speaker 2: Is it fair for you to pay money to live someplace? Absolutely? 149 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,560 Speaker 1: Now, if he's renting, it's fine, I believe it's okay. Yeah, 150 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:16,360 Speaker 1: I got it. Maybe, But if you own the home, 151 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:17,719 Speaker 1: that's if he owns the. 152 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:21,559 Speaker 2: Home, yeah, I think maybe. I think you know, you've 153 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,559 Speaker 2: got to figure some way to. 154 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: Contribute, right for sure. Now as far as just women 155 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:38,560 Speaker 1: in general, right, like, what can they do. Let's say 156 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:41,760 Speaker 1: they've been in a long marriage and when they got married, 157 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 1: they got married young. And maybe I'm just being gender 158 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,160 Speaker 1: specific right now, but it could obviously work the other way. 159 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 1: As well, but the man was supporting the relationship and 160 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 1: then they decide to separate. I mean, how important is 161 00:09:56,679 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 1: it for people, not just women, to be financial literate. 162 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 2: It's incredibly important and it's really Look, you have to 163 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 2: come out of a relationship with a sense of what 164 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:16,679 Speaker 2: are you earning? What do you own at this point? 165 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 2: Like what did you what assets did you come away with? 166 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:22,439 Speaker 2: Do you have a house, do you have a retirement account, 167 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 2: do you have cash in the bank, and what do 168 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 2: you owe? What are your debts, what are your obligations 169 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:34,480 Speaker 2: going forward? And from there you can set up a 170 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:38,040 Speaker 2: budget that is sustainable. You can you can look at 171 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 2: your roadmap and you can say, all right, here are 172 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 2: the things that I have to do going forward. And 173 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:46,320 Speaker 2: if you don't know how to do those things, it 174 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:51,720 Speaker 2: gets really complicated. I think that many people need the 175 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:57,480 Speaker 2: help of a financial advisor coming out of a divorce 176 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 2: to just get them on the right track. Make sure 177 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:04,200 Speaker 2: sure that they do. You're sort of doing a level 178 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:07,839 Speaker 2: set right, you still have goals. When I got divorced, 179 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:14,080 Speaker 2: I had a job, right, I had some assets. I 180 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 2: bought a house, not the house that I lived in 181 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 2: with my ex husband, but I bought a new house, 182 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:23,080 Speaker 2: but I had responsibilities. I was paying for half of college, 183 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,199 Speaker 2: which was going to hit us about ten years down 184 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 2: the road. I was. I had taken a big step 185 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 2: back when it came to retirement, and I had to 186 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 2: make sure that I was going to catch up so 187 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:44,439 Speaker 2: that I could so that I could have choices when 188 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 2: it came to retiring when I wanted how I wanted. 189 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:51,199 Speaker 2: I had this new house that I not only bought 190 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,800 Speaker 2: but then put a lot of money into to renovate 191 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 2: because I wanted it to be what I wanted it 192 00:11:56,280 --> 00:12:00,959 Speaker 2: to be, and I wanted to pay that house off 193 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:06,079 Speaker 2: before I got to retirement. So I had these goals 194 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 2: and I had to make sure that I was on 195 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:14,200 Speaker 2: a path to meet those goals. That's what a plan does. 196 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 1: That's like, so how do you budget for people that 197 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:20,600 Speaker 1: may not know it's overwhelming? You know it is. 198 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 2: It's overwhelming. You look at my favorite way to budget, 199 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:30,840 Speaker 2: and I have a budgeting coaching class called Finance Fix. Yeah, 200 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 2: and we get it online. We spell fix with two x's, 201 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:38,080 Speaker 2: and we get a ton of women who are just 202 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:42,160 Speaker 2: going through a divorce or thinking about a divorce because 203 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:46,200 Speaker 2: they want to understand this very very question, So I 204 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 2: budget backwards because I don't. I think that's the best 205 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:54,960 Speaker 2: way to do it. We use technology to help you 206 00:12:55,200 --> 00:13:00,360 Speaker 2: look at where your money is going today, what are 207 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 2: you spending on in a whole bunch of different categories. 208 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:09,200 Speaker 2: And once you see where your money is going right now, 209 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 2: then you can start making changes about where you want 210 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:17,040 Speaker 2: your money to go in order to spend a little less, 211 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:20,840 Speaker 2: save a little more, pay down some debts. So always, 212 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 2: always we see people who are discovering a hopic a 213 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,800 Speaker 2: ha moment that they are spending too much on food. 214 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 2: Food is just you know, it's eating out, it take 215 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,040 Speaker 2: its Yeah, it's exactly. 216 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 1: It's that retail therapy kills me every time. Yeah, that's help. 217 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:41,560 Speaker 2: No, it does help. We can talk about that. It 218 00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:42,280 Speaker 2: helps a little. 219 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:48,959 Speaker 1: It's another numbing device. Yes, that's a whole other episode. 220 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 1: It is. 221 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,720 Speaker 2: It is so you know, we we look at the 222 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,640 Speaker 2: Postmates bill and we say, do you think do you 223 00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:58,480 Speaker 2: think maybe you could. 224 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,720 Speaker 1: Go to Starbucks instead of didn't? I think it delivered. 225 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 1: I'm just speaking from personal experience. 226 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,400 Speaker 2: There you go that and how much and that would 227 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 2: say fifty percent right there? 228 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,560 Speaker 1: Absolutely. Yeah. 229 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,960 Speaker 2: So these are the kinds of changes that we. 230 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:13,000 Speaker 1: That we make along the way. Got it? Now do 231 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:16,440 Speaker 1: you believe couples should have I would say married or 232 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,120 Speaker 1: even serious It is not to be married, but joint accounts. 233 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 2: I'm a fan of joint and separate, So I think 234 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:28,600 Speaker 2: it's easier and a little more romantic to have like 235 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 2: something joined. I don't want to be out in a 236 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 2: restaurant and worried about who's going to put their credit 237 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 2: card down, right, I just I kind of hate that. 238 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 2: So let's have a joint credit card so that we 239 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 2: just pay for dinner on that, but then we fund 240 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 2: a joint bank account with the money that we need 241 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 2: to pay for the household expenses, and whatever's left is 242 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:59,000 Speaker 2: mine or my husband's. I put more into the joint 243 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 2: account than he does because I make more than he does. 244 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,360 Speaker 1: I was just gonna ask that, like, is that how like? 245 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 1: Is that something that you resent though later down the 246 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,000 Speaker 1: road or No? 247 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 2: I don't. I'm fine with it, I think, but that's 248 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,520 Speaker 2: something you have to look at if you're gonna if 249 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 2: you're gonna resent it, then you shouldn't do it. You 250 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 2: should come up with the system that you're not going 251 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 2: to resent, or you. 252 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 1: Match the person who makes the most money matches whatever 253 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:33,960 Speaker 1: your partner puts in that month or whatever exactly. 254 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 2: So I think it works. You know, we talk about 255 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 2: fair and equal. I think it's fairst if you put 256 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:48,360 Speaker 2: in an amount of money that by percentages, like whatever 257 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,520 Speaker 2: percentage you earn more than him, you put that much 258 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:56,080 Speaker 2: more into the joint account. But it gets complicated. Let's 259 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 2: say you've got a couple where one parent is staying 260 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 2: home with kids. They may not be earning money outside 261 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,440 Speaker 2: the house, but they get to have their own money too, 262 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:10,680 Speaker 2: and that has to get funded out of the account 263 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 2: of the stuffs that does earn money, right, because everybody 264 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:19,480 Speaker 2: needs autonomy. You know, I don't want to answer for 265 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 2: my retail therapy. I you know, I don't. I don't 266 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 2: want to. I I go out and I buy a bag. 267 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,840 Speaker 1: I don't have to ask, like you're a kid, like yeah, no, 268 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 1: too parental, And that's when resentment I think built. It's 269 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,920 Speaker 1: just that this is why communication is vital, right, Like 270 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:40,040 Speaker 1: it always goes back to this, like the transparency, at 271 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:43,400 Speaker 1: least for me. I just feel like, you know, when 272 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,280 Speaker 1: I was married, there was just that piece that was 273 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:50,000 Speaker 1: like a very important piece, but it was like depending 274 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 1: on the way you were raised, How were your parents 275 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 1: with their money, Like, what did they show you? How 276 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 1: did they deal with their money? Did they invest or 277 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 1: were they not? Like you know, and it's it really 278 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:05,399 Speaker 1: it's generational too, and there's so much there's emotion, but 279 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:09,240 Speaker 1: then it's hard to separate. Like I come from my mother, 280 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,639 Speaker 1: who is a very uh she was She grew up 281 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,280 Speaker 1: in poverty in the Philippines, and then she divorced my 282 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 1: father when I was two and she made a freaking 283 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:21,760 Speaker 1: like empire, like completely devoted her life to her business. 284 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:24,399 Speaker 1: Now with that, because I was she was a single 285 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,800 Speaker 1: parent raising me. She was able to put food on 286 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: the table, she was able to support my dancing career. 287 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,080 Speaker 1: She was able to do so much, and I'm so 288 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,600 Speaker 1: grateful for that. But then that also required her being 289 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 1: at her company all hours of the day and night, 290 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:42,080 Speaker 1: and then me being raised by you know, babysitters, which 291 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 1: wasn't always a great experience. Now, look, I wouldn't be 292 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,359 Speaker 1: here today if it wasn't for her support. But like, 293 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:52,480 Speaker 1: I am definitely raised by somebody who's very good with 294 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:56,399 Speaker 1: her money and went from rags to riches. Now, you know, 295 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,879 Speaker 1: it could be the opposite with a partner, you know, 296 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:02,040 Speaker 1: and you kind of have to have that aha moment 297 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,280 Speaker 1: or that person does in order to be able to 298 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:05,920 Speaker 1: talk about it. It's like a whole thing. 299 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 2: It's a whole thing, and it's been We call it 300 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 2: your money story. This is your money story. It is 301 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:19,400 Speaker 2: it's multi many chapters, it's a big book. It's Harry Potter, right, 302 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:25,359 Speaker 2: and we we have to understand our own money story, 303 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,919 Speaker 2: which we often don't, and we have to understand our 304 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:32,040 Speaker 2: partner's money story in order to sort of get the 305 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:35,399 Speaker 2: friction out of the relationship and understand, you know, what 306 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:39,200 Speaker 2: you're dealing with in your money story. And you get this, 307 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 2: you just you you seem to innately understand this, but 308 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 2: it's it's not what you were taught. It's what you felt. 309 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 2: It's it's the whispers that you heard and the tension 310 00:18:54,800 --> 00:19:00,040 Speaker 2: in the house. And I am sure that when you're mom. 311 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,920 Speaker 1: Saving picking up pennies on the sidewalk, like. 312 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:08,000 Speaker 2: Come on right, well, and she probably continued to do 313 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:12,440 Speaker 2: that when when she made a fortune, made a boatload, right, 314 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:16,159 Speaker 2: and that that impacted you because you probably felt as 315 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,920 Speaker 2: if you had no money when in reality you had 316 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:19,280 Speaker 2: a ton. 317 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,840 Speaker 1: My sister was impact like she definitely is more like 318 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:27,960 Speaker 1: a penny pincher. I am the I went the complete opposite. Yeah, 319 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,919 Speaker 1: but I'm still I'm still aware of it, but I 320 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,040 Speaker 1: went to complete I'm like, you know, what, what are 321 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 1: we gonna do at We're gonna get you know, we're 322 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,560 Speaker 1: all gonna die, and people are not going to talk 323 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,960 Speaker 1: hopefully about how much money you've made, Like you know, 324 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:42,359 Speaker 1: it's just we live this life now, in this present moment, 325 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 1: and when you're so like, but that's just the way 326 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,760 Speaker 1: she was raised, and I have to respect that, you. 327 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,320 Speaker 2: Know, yeah, yeah, but you add a partner to it 328 00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:54,280 Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, oh, it's explosive. 329 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:58,280 Speaker 1: Explosive many therapy sessions. But so why do you believe 330 00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,640 Speaker 1: it's so much easier to talk about sex so openly, 331 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:04,639 Speaker 1: yet when it comes to money, it's like a uh no, no, no, no, 332 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 1: we don't go there. 333 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:09,880 Speaker 2: I think because we had the sixties. I like, the 334 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 2: sixties was like all about talking about sex, right, so 335 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:17,920 Speaker 2: our parents in the sixties learned to talk about sex, 336 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:22,240 Speaker 2: and hopefully they talked like my I you know, they 337 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 2: they were more free around sex than money, and why not? 338 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,719 Speaker 1: I wish they mine was, But she's also Filipino, so 339 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:29,920 Speaker 1: like that, very Catholic. 340 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:35,159 Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think I think we went through the 341 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 2: whole birth control and the pill and the you know, 342 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:41,200 Speaker 2: burn your bra. 343 00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 1: And wait, why what's that? 344 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,600 Speaker 2: Well, you know in the sixties people women were burning 345 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 2: their bras nobody. Yeah, yes, why I mean because they 346 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:51,800 Speaker 2: didn't want to wear them. 347 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:55,040 Speaker 1: Oh just don't, no need to burn them, just don't. 348 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,760 Speaker 2: Wear them, right, So there you go. But they were 349 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:04,280 Speaker 2: making a statement and we didn't really have that with money. 350 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:09,119 Speaker 2: I mean, what's changing, is what I mean. It's interesting. 351 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:14,960 Speaker 2: So my kids are much more willing and able to 352 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,840 Speaker 2: talk about money with their friends than I ever was 353 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,880 Speaker 2: at their age. They're in their late twenties early thirties, 354 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,440 Speaker 2: and they they know how much their friends make. 355 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,720 Speaker 1: They talk about things. 356 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:33,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, and a lot of gen Z sort of very 357 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,960 Speaker 2: young millennials are right there, which I think is great. 358 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:40,000 Speaker 1: I think that's great. But you also raised you obviously 359 00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:41,720 Speaker 1: raised them well because. 360 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:45,640 Speaker 2: You know, I have one spender and one saver. Really interesting, 361 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 2: interesting like me and my sister. Yeah, yeah, interesting. I 362 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,520 Speaker 2: think it's like a rebel thing. It's kind of like, 363 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,280 Speaker 2: I don't know if I want to live like that, 364 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:53,920 Speaker 2: Like so. 365 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,679 Speaker 1: Tight, Like it's just really but then I see the 366 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:59,760 Speaker 1: other side too, you know, so interesting, this is so helpful. 367 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,280 Speaker 1: What are the first steps to educating yourself on whether 368 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:17,520 Speaker 1: you put money into a retirement versus stocks and bonds? Like, 369 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,919 Speaker 1: how do you suggest somebody does this. 370 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:23,400 Speaker 2: So they're not in either or a retirement or stocks 371 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,159 Speaker 2: and bonds? But can we just let's just sort of 372 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:29,520 Speaker 2: take a step back. I think that when it comes 373 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:35,960 Speaker 2: down to it, money is a series of habits that 374 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:40,040 Speaker 2: you repeat over and over and over again. And we're 375 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,919 Speaker 2: really lucky that we have technology that can help us 376 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:48,800 Speaker 2: start to participate in things like investing before we know 377 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 2: everything there is to know and before we have all 378 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 2: the answers. My five thing, five habits, five things you 379 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,000 Speaker 2: have to do in order to live a good thing 380 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 2: to life. You have to earn a decent living, right, 381 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:06,240 Speaker 2: what's that mean? Decent is comfortable? You have to earn 382 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,879 Speaker 2: a comfortable living. We know that having you know, huge 383 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,240 Speaker 2: amounts of money, much more money than you need to 384 00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 2: pay for your life to go on vacation every once 385 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,359 Speaker 2: in a while, to put a roof over your head. 386 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 2: The happiness is really just incremental. It's not going to 387 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,480 Speaker 2: buy you much more happiness. So you have to earn 388 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:28,560 Speaker 2: enough to maintain that comfortable lifestyle right enough to not worry. 389 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:30,119 Speaker 2: It's a good way to put it. 390 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,960 Speaker 1: Food shelter, Yeah, than necessities. 391 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,080 Speaker 2: You have to spend less than you make. That's the 392 00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:38,280 Speaker 2: second one, and that's where a lot of people get stuck. 393 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,000 Speaker 2: And if you get stuck there, you can't do any 394 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:40,840 Speaker 2: of the others. 395 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,600 Speaker 1: Correct because you don't want to have debt. 396 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:47,120 Speaker 2: It's like this, people, Well, debt is a thing too, 397 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,879 Speaker 2: and I'm not really talking about a mortgage or a 398 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,679 Speaker 2: car loan. I'm talking about credit card debt. Debt is 399 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,520 Speaker 2: the thing that makes us the most unhappy. It's the 400 00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:01,600 Speaker 2: thing that stresses us out the most. So, yes, we 401 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:02,520 Speaker 2: don't want debt. 402 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:06,440 Speaker 1: But also the worry. Like some people, it's a belief system, right, 403 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,479 Speaker 1: It's like that constant worry, you almost manifest it. 404 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:15,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, there are some people who believe in having debt. 405 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,159 Speaker 2: You know that you should bar Yeah, there are some 406 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:23,480 Speaker 2: people who believe that leverage is good. And no, I 407 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,800 Speaker 2: don't believe that. I believe in I believe that there 408 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,959 Speaker 2: is good debt and bad debt, you know, like a 409 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:34,400 Speaker 2: mortgage or a student loan or investment car that gets 410 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 2: us yes, yes, but but credit card debt. 411 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,080 Speaker 1: No, no. And I don't think a car is a 412 00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:42,159 Speaker 1: good investment unless if it's like an old antique car 413 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,639 Speaker 1: that you can go like and sell eventually. 414 00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,760 Speaker 2: Well, you need to get back and forth to work, right, 415 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:52,240 Speaker 2: So if you lease it, you you you could lease 416 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 2: it the best way that the best way to own 417 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,080 Speaker 2: a car is to buy a car used and drive 418 00:24:58,119 --> 00:24:58,919 Speaker 2: it into the ground. 419 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:00,920 Speaker 1: Oh okay, got it. 420 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,119 Speaker 2: Okay, So if you're you know, maybe you want to 421 00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,159 Speaker 2: be the most cost effective, if you have to have 422 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 2: a new car, or you know you're going to get 423 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:11,280 Speaker 2: a new car every three years, then you should lease. 424 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,200 Speaker 1: That's what I do. That's what my mom taught me. 425 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 1: At least then you should lease. 426 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,439 Speaker 2: And your mom ran it through her business, by the way, 427 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,880 Speaker 2: and you may be running it through your business. So 428 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:21,440 Speaker 2: so there. 429 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 1: You go, great, love it. 430 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,680 Speaker 2: The third thing is you have to take the money 431 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:29,359 Speaker 2: that you're not spending and invest it so that it 432 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 2: is growing for you. 433 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:31,760 Speaker 1: Right. 434 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,280 Speaker 2: You have to save some for emergencies and then you 435 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 2: have to invest the rest. And we can talk about 436 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,480 Speaker 2: that in terms of what goes in a retirement account 437 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 2: and what doesn't. There's a percentage right, there's there are 438 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:47,320 Speaker 2: caps on what you can put in your retirement account. 439 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:50,240 Speaker 2: But you that's that's the third thing you have to do. 440 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,400 Speaker 2: The fourth thing you have to do is protect this 441 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:58,199 Speaker 2: whole world, which means having insurance right and having a 442 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:03,359 Speaker 2: basic estate plan, a will right, and a power of 443 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 2: attorney so that somebody could handle your money right. And 444 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,040 Speaker 2: then my fit thing is you got to find some 445 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:12,040 Speaker 2: way to give back because that is a happiness booster. 446 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:22,399 Speaker 2: So when it comes to investing your money, we invest 447 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:27,080 Speaker 2: the next dollar based on where we get the biggest 448 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:31,720 Speaker 2: bang for the buck. So if you are if you 449 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:36,000 Speaker 2: are working for a company that has a retirement plan 450 00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:37,880 Speaker 2: like a four to oh one K, and you get 451 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:41,679 Speaker 2: matching dollars, then you want to put money in that 452 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,600 Speaker 2: four oh one K first because those matching dollars are 453 00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:49,480 Speaker 2: like free money. Once you've done that, you look at 454 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:54,920 Speaker 2: other accounts with tax advantages, like iras and health savings 455 00:26:54,920 --> 00:27:00,000 Speaker 2: accounts and college savings accounts, and once you've satisfied those, 456 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,880 Speaker 2: then you look at just plainal brokerage accounts. But these 457 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:10,520 Speaker 2: are all just buckets, and into those buckets you put investments. 458 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:14,000 Speaker 2: You buy stocks, and bonds, and they live in those 459 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 2: buckets stocks and other mutual funds. Yep. Money markets are. 460 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,080 Speaker 2: Money markets are a type of mutual. 461 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 1: Fund safer maybe than stocks and bonds. They're safer, especially 462 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,359 Speaker 1: if you're not dealing with a lot of money, right, Like, 463 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,399 Speaker 1: if you're not dealing with tons of money, that you 464 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,119 Speaker 1: can just gamble, because it's a gamble if you're doing stocks. 465 00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:38,200 Speaker 2: Is not really so if we look historically at at 466 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 2: the returns of the stock market, they since the since 467 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:49,160 Speaker 2: the Dow was invented, since the inception of the Dow, yeah, 468 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,720 Speaker 2: and since the S and P five hundred was invented, 469 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:57,360 Speaker 2: they've returned about eight or nine percent every single year 470 00:27:58,040 --> 00:27:59,000 Speaker 2: on average. 471 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,240 Speaker 1: Okay, and it's been pretty consistent. 472 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:05,440 Speaker 2: Well it's been like this, not so consistent. But what 473 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,800 Speaker 2: that means is that if you've got a long time 474 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:12,360 Speaker 2: to invest your money, ten plus years, you put your 475 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:16,840 Speaker 2: money in a diversified S and P five hundred fund 476 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:21,720 Speaker 2: or a diversified total stock market fund, and you just 477 00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,679 Speaker 2: keep adding to it. Every time you get paid, you 478 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:28,240 Speaker 2: buy more. And even though the market goes like this, 479 00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:33,920 Speaker 2: over time, the market goes up. Right, So even though 480 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,320 Speaker 2: you have some ups and downs in the middle, the 481 00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:40,560 Speaker 2: historical trend is going to be up, and that's how 482 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 2: your money compounds, and that's how it makes more money 483 00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,320 Speaker 2: for you. And when you are younger and you have 484 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:49,760 Speaker 2: more time until you need to use the money, then 485 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,160 Speaker 2: you put more of it in stocks. And when you're 486 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,360 Speaker 2: older and you have less time until you need to 487 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:56,320 Speaker 2: use the money, you put more of it in safer 488 00:28:56,360 --> 00:29:01,000 Speaker 2: places like bonds and like money markets. If you have 489 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 2: other goals, shorter term goals, things you need to get to, 490 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,080 Speaker 2: Like you want to buy a house, and you want 491 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,760 Speaker 2: to buy a house in five years, you don't put 492 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 2: your down payment in stocks. You put your down payment 493 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:14,320 Speaker 2: money market. 494 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:18,320 Speaker 1: Right, yes, yes, yeah, that's what I'm currently doing. There 495 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:20,680 Speaker 1: you go, you buying a house. Well, yeah, I live 496 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:23,680 Speaker 1: in California, you know, so it's like right now, it's 497 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,760 Speaker 1: just not the best time, but it will be. 498 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,120 Speaker 2: Sorry, are you okay? 499 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 1: I am, because I don't live in the LA I 500 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,600 Speaker 1: do live like a couple hours away from LA So 501 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,760 Speaker 1: I'm fine. But man, I used to I had a 502 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,760 Speaker 1: home that I owned in the Hollywood Hills for sixteen 503 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:40,320 Speaker 1: years and they all got it back. I mean, it's 504 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:44,640 Speaker 1: it's just horrible. But thank you for asking. I'm okay, sure, 505 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,960 Speaker 1: but that has changed the real state. I was actually 506 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 1: looking for homes in Pacific Palisades that week that it 507 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 1: all happened, So yeah, it's devastating, awful. Last question before 508 00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:59,600 Speaker 1: I let you go here, how much money do you 509 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:03,320 Speaker 1: believe a single woman should have in her savings account? 510 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 1: I guess at a given time, whether it maybe in 511 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,280 Speaker 1: her forties or thirties. 512 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,920 Speaker 2: So you said saving account, savings accounts, so not in 513 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:16,160 Speaker 2: her investments, in your cash account, your emergency account. I 514 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:20,600 Speaker 2: think single people should have six months worth of fixed 515 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 2: expenses in an emergency account. If you're if you're part 516 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,600 Speaker 2: of a couple, it can be a little less. It 517 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:29,000 Speaker 2: can be three months. And that's because if one person 518 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:32,840 Speaker 2: loses their job, they have the other person's income to. 519 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 1: Fall back on. Got it. And as far as hiring 520 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:42,120 Speaker 1: business managers finance advisors, what is your suggestion? 521 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:48,400 Speaker 2: Trust? But verify is my recommendation, right, So get recommendations 522 00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:53,040 Speaker 2: from people that you know who use these people. On 523 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:56,240 Speaker 2: top of it, state, yes, do not take your eyes 524 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 2: off the ball. Look, you have to look at all 525 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:02,880 Speaker 2: the statements, even if you've got somebody managing it. For you, 526 00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:06,280 Speaker 2: but but make sure that you interview several people, make 527 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,800 Speaker 2: sure their credentials are up to date, make sure you 528 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:13,120 Speaker 2: check references when you talk to them. Make sure that 529 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:17,920 Speaker 2: you're in line with what they think you should be 530 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,120 Speaker 2: doing with your money and what you think you should 531 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:21,360 Speaker 2: be doing with your money. 532 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,080 Speaker 1: Important. Yeah, you don't want to go in there like 533 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,360 Speaker 1: not educated about your finances, because that's when people start 534 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,240 Speaker 1: to take advantage of you. 535 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 2: Right, And if you feel like I just can't talk 536 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,960 Speaker 2: to this person, then just leave, you know, run in 537 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:39,680 Speaker 2: the other direction, because they're not They could be a 538 00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:43,040 Speaker 2: great advisor, they could be brilliant financially, but they're not 539 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,720 Speaker 2: brilliant for you because you're not going to be able 540 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:47,280 Speaker 2: to communicate with them. 541 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,360 Speaker 1: Because I mean it is emotional a little bit, right 542 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,880 Speaker 1: there is that huge You could be great with numbers, 543 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,040 Speaker 1: but if I can't speak to you and you're not 544 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,600 Speaker 1: speaking the same language, because that's also a thing that 545 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,480 Speaker 1: I've run into, is that you're speaking like a completely 546 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:02,240 Speaker 1: different langue. But you're gonna have to bring it down 547 00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,640 Speaker 1: to like maybe an eighth grader, or. 548 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,400 Speaker 2: Just explain it to me in English rural, right, just 549 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,040 Speaker 2: explain it to me and if they can't do that, 550 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:11,600 Speaker 2: I'm not working with them. 551 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:14,360 Speaker 1: Or if they get impatient, done like done done. 552 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:14,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. 553 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like lawyers too, same thing. I'm like, you 554 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:21,200 Speaker 1: got your speaking Shakespeare like I can't understand you. But yeah, 555 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:25,880 Speaker 1: communication is key in every relationship. Thank you so much. 556 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:29,720 Speaker 1: This was so helpful. Where can people find your online 557 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,400 Speaker 1: course because I would love to take it? 558 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,240 Speaker 2: Oh well, we would love to have you. 559 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:35,400 Speaker 1: Thank you. 560 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:39,560 Speaker 2: You can find our budgeting course at financefix dot com 561 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,080 Speaker 2: with two x's and our investing club for women and 562 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:47,840 Speaker 2: you should come, Cheryl, because we near buying individual stocks. 563 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,600 Speaker 2: We're like learning about the market. It's every other Monday 564 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,720 Speaker 2: night on zoom. I teach it with Karen Feinerman from 565 00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:59,320 Speaker 2: CNBC and you can find that an Investingfix dot com. 566 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:02,120 Speaker 1: Again to I'll seriously look into it because I would 567 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,560 Speaker 1: love to just you know, it's never too late to 568 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,760 Speaker 1: get more of a grip. I do have a grip, 569 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,720 Speaker 1: but I would like to have more of a group. 570 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, we've got five hundred women investing together. 571 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:13,760 Speaker 1: Oh wow. And then is it just online like you 572 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,080 Speaker 1: can take it out your own time or if. 573 00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:18,640 Speaker 2: We tape all the classes, but we do do them 574 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:23,160 Speaker 2: live every Monday at eight pm. Every other Monday, eight 575 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,400 Speaker 2: pm on the East Coast. 576 00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:26,800 Speaker 1: All right, cool, I'll look into it for sure. Thank 577 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:31,600 Speaker 1: you again, thank you bye. Thanks to Jane for joining 578 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,000 Speaker 1: me today. And I just love talking about money because 579 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:37,400 Speaker 1: it's just so uncomfortable. But single women out there really 580 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,880 Speaker 1: do need this information and you're never it's never enough, 581 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,080 Speaker 1: you know, you always want to be educated for sure 582 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,160 Speaker 1: when it comes to your finances. Are you divorced or 583 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:50,040 Speaker 1: newly single? Maybe you need advice on how to navigate 584 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,800 Speaker 1: this next chapter in your life. Call us or email us, 585 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,880 Speaker 1: follow us on socials. All the information will be in 586 00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,520 Speaker 1: the show notes, so make sure to rate and review 587 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:03,080 Speaker 1: the podcast I Do Part two and iHeartRadio podcast where 588 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,000 Speaker 1: falling in love is the main objective.