1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: Hey, we are there some relationships and arguments that you 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,720 Speaker 1: can't come back from? Or are there some argument you 3 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:07,120 Speaker 1: can't come back from at all? 4 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,879 Speaker 2: Yeah? You don't. Your butt doesn't look good in those genes. 5 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:13,399 Speaker 1: No going back, dude, it's done, it's done away. But 6 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: we got a couple your butt looks. 7 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:15,520 Speaker 2: Creating those genes. 8 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:15,680 Speaker 3: Jeh. 9 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,760 Speaker 1: But hey, we're in a beautiful hotchkiss park right now 10 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 1: in Santa Monica and we're going to get into this 11 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: first story. So my wife decided she wasn't in love 12 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 1: with me and left? How do I get her back? 13 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:28,400 Speaker 4: John? 14 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:29,160 Speaker 1: How does how? 15 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,360 Speaker 2: You don't you give up? 16 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:31,639 Speaker 5: All? 17 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 6: Right? 18 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: This comes from Andrea's nineteen and they say, background, we 19 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 1: are in the US, M call major East Coast city. 20 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 1: What's M call MCL? Is that a thing that you know? 21 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 2: M call? No clue, no idea. 22 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: We own a house and a car. Income is jointly 23 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 1: two hundred k plus, okay, split more of less, split 24 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 1: more or less equally. Expenses are divided equally. Both have 25 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 1: master's degree. Political and ethical values are almost exactly aligned 26 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,839 Speaker 1: across all subjects. So it seems like match made in heaven. 27 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,040 Speaker 2: Great, nothing can go wrong? 28 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, but uh, things will go wrong. Oh, I think 29 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 1: maybe we'll see. We have a normal social circle somewhat 30 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 1: diminished by COVID, with regular interactions, weekly brunches, sports watching, 31 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 1: game nights, et cetera. I like sports watching too. I'm 32 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 1: a big sports watching I watch sports, I watch sports, 33 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,160 Speaker 1: I observe. I have all the sports teams. 34 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 2: That's right. 35 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh yeah, name one, the Knicks, name another, 36 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:40,119 Speaker 3: the Lakers. Okay, name one in Minnesota. 37 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:44,160 Speaker 1: The Minnesota Pipers, Timberwolves. 38 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:47,120 Speaker 2: Yeah. 39 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 1: So, I am on great terms with their family, her 40 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 1: mother and brother and visit three to four times a 41 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 1: year and they stay with us. My parents visit five 42 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: to six times a year and stay with us as well. 43 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: That's a lot of parents. That's like every other week 44 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: you have one of your parents the great As far 45 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 1: as I can tell, she is on good terms with 46 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 1: them as well. Both of our parents are relatively are 47 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: and relatives are extremely supportive and friendly. Life has been 48 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,800 Speaker 1: basically on easy mode for the last five years, which 49 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: is ironically one of her complaints. We are just coasting 50 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 1: things are too easy, too good, it's too good. I 51 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 1: guess life to hierarchy. Yeah, that's hierarchy. You need I 52 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: need struggle. I need drama, or you just listen to 53 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 1: Okay storytime and then you have all the drama that 54 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: you would ever need. But we are doing great financially, 55 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:40,080 Speaker 1: maxing out far one k and saving for our kids education. 56 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: Everything like it seems like it's going great. 57 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:42,640 Speaker 2: Literally nothing. 58 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,520 Speaker 1: Also, Rightley, is this camera slowly dipping? 59 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 2: Yes? 60 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: It is? 61 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 2: That is fun. I like this. I'm just head it's 62 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 2: gonna slowly. 63 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:57,840 Speaker 1: He's just gonna slowly. 64 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:03,959 Speaker 2: Get that's so bad. You get to produce? 65 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 1: I got you don't. 66 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 2: Riley's got it. 67 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 1: Raley's got it. 68 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,920 Speaker 2: Oh wait wait wait, this is actually better. 69 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 1: I feel like it's it needs to be tightened. 70 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:17,520 Speaker 2: Coming around rally. Yeah, I got it, all right, all right, 71 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 2: reading all right? 72 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 1: So, uh we're maxing. We're doing great financially maxing out 73 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,720 Speaker 1: are four to one k's and saving for a kids education. 74 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,640 Speaker 1: We're both calm and rational. Fight frequency is about three 75 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:34,080 Speaker 1: times a year. Du tracks everything three times. Yeah, fight 76 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,760 Speaker 1: frequency three times a year. I put it in the spreadsheet. Yep, 77 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,880 Speaker 1: I don't you worry. He's excelling it. How often do 78 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: you fight? 79 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 2: John? How often do I fight? Not often? He's not 80 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 2: keeping track, ladies, which I. 81 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 1: Think is maybe you shouldn't keep track of all your fights. Yeah, 82 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:55,000 Speaker 1: green flag, not keeping track of how many fights your 83 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: boy kimberly find Sam saw this coming. That's why he 84 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,120 Speaker 1: slides further and further down the hood goes up. Yeah, 85 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:04,400 Speaker 1: I try to keep on track with a camera. Katie Lynn, 86 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 1: Sam is laughing in such a dorky manner. I thanks, 87 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 1: but she says, I freaking love dork boys. All right, 88 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:16,599 Speaker 1: Katie Lynn, you're back in my good graces. 89 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 2: Katlin really is so sweet and sour with you. She'll 90 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:20,479 Speaker 2: just like roast you and then be. 91 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,160 Speaker 1: Like hot and cold, hot and cold. I know she's 92 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,039 Speaker 1: keeping me guessing well. Life has been basically on easy 93 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: motus at four one okay, fight frequency three times a 94 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 1: year and manifests itself as us just taking time and 95 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,720 Speaker 1: space apart for a few days and everything going back 96 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 1: to normal. There's no yelling, no physical violence or any discomfort. 97 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 1: It's more of I need some space to myself right now. 98 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 1: So literally everything in Op's life is fine. 99 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 2: I hear nothing wrong. 100 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 1: I hear nothing wrong. But will it be long or 101 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 1: until there's something wrong? Will it be long until something 102 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 1: is wrong? 103 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 2: Is it long? 104 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: Riley Riley's always asking how long things are? 105 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:02,640 Speaker 2: That is true. Yeah, I need to know why, just 106 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 2: so I can like, why are you so obsessed with yeah? 107 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:07,600 Speaker 1: Yeah? Why why do you want to why do you 108 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: want to imagine all these things? Riley? 109 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 3: I'm not imagining. I just need to know, Like, Okay, 110 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:16,480 Speaker 3: I feel like today our computer was too long for 111 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 3: the table. I need to know how long that is? 112 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,200 Speaker 2: Computer as long as yours? Riley. Thanks. 113 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 3: Uh, the generator is too short for the computer, so 114 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,600 Speaker 3: if it's perfectly under the computer, it's good to know 115 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:29,480 Speaker 3: how long things are. 116 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 1: Riley is a man of lengths that you should go 117 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:38,800 Speaker 1: into construction. I swear this thing is dipping again. I'll 118 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 1: fix it, Okay, all right. Last month my wife announced 119 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: she is leaving next month. I don't think leaving him, 120 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 1: just leaving, just leaving in general next month. This came 121 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: as a complete shock to me. At first I thought 122 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 1: it was a joke, then an attempt to get me 123 00:05:56,520 --> 00:06:01,719 Speaker 1: to do something, then the realization she was I've attempted 124 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:04,720 Speaker 1: everything I can think of to find an avenue of 125 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 1: moving Oh no, it is she is leaving of moving 126 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 1: forward together, but all has fallen on deaf ears. Wow, 127 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: she is thinking about leaving. Why do you think she 128 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 1: would be leaving though? I mean, come on, sit down, Fia. 129 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:22,720 Speaker 5: I think there's this is a classic. There's something going 130 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:27,599 Speaker 5: on that we don't know about. It was too easy. 131 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 5: I need drama. It's why rich people's skydive and and 132 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 5: bungee jump. 133 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,160 Speaker 2: And you know that you need some sort of thrill. 134 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: Everything you eat thrills. Yeah, scoot scooch on over nice, 135 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: there we go here the Brady Bunch split. 136 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 2: We love that. 137 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,280 Speaker 1: Sophia Callen says she met someone else. 138 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:52,960 Speaker 2: Intrigue. 139 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: Maybe everyone's saying she has a side piece. I literally 140 00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:58,840 Speaker 1: just says she's bored. Maybe she's bored, And this is 141 00:06:58,880 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 1: like a way to introduce drama. 142 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 2: She's trying, she's trying to find the next thing. 143 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 1: Trying to we' 't see. So I offered counseling, taking 144 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:10,440 Speaker 1: time apart seeing other people romantically, a period. It could 145 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 1: be the other things are not tightened. Okay, I have 146 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:21,200 Speaker 1: offered counseling, taking them apart seeing other people romantically, a 147 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,720 Speaker 1: period of focusing, or of treating each other with special 148 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 1: care and affection, et cetera. Everything has been there is, 149 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 1: Everything has been dismissed. 150 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 5: With this is a this is a for d ride, 151 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 5: twists and turns, the climax of a story. 152 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: The thing has been dismissed without any thought. Furthermore, I'm 153 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 1: not getting a further explanation. Then I'm not in love anymore. 154 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 1: That's all. That's all. That's all she's getting. Dude, there 155 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 1: are more twists and turns in the story than Riley's 156 00:07:59,080 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: campus can. 157 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,600 Speaker 2: And that's a lot. That's a lot. 158 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 1: That's saying that ladies and gentlemen really just tighten those things. 159 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, no, you just got to tighten. No, 160 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 1: we don't need to do We always need new things. 161 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: Riley return new truck, Sophia Collen says, but not cheating. 162 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,160 Speaker 1: Sophia Collen says her new boo is the excitement she 163 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 1: thought she needed, and that's all she needs. Hmmm, Riley, 164 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 1: He's just gonna handhold right now. 165 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 6: Linda says, that's Cali earthquake. 166 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that is that the big I'm driving it 167 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 1: all right. Furthermore, I'm not getting any further explanation that 168 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 1: I'm not in love anymore. I'm not kidding. I'm not 169 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: getting any more. That looks good. That looks good? Is it? Tightened. 170 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:05,199 Speaker 1: All right. I think that's good. That's good, all right, welcome, 171 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 1: all right. So I'm not in love anymore. Okay, so 172 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:16,079 Speaker 1: I'm there's no further explanation than I'm not in love anymore. Okay. Now, 173 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:20,520 Speaker 1: admittedly the intensity of the romantic feelings have declined. But 174 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: I thought this was just the natural cycle of being married. 175 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 1: Intense romantic attraction over time transforms into something more stable 176 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 1: with age, Like John, what do you think about that? 177 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:31,439 Speaker 4: Like? 178 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 1: Has it stabilized with age? 179 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:34,000 Speaker 2: Yeah? 180 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:34,560 Speaker 1: No, there is. 181 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 5: Here. I was thinking that he was asking me a 182 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,079 Speaker 5: serious question to get to the root question here, the 183 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 5: thing that we want to know when in reality it's 184 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:45,439 Speaker 5: an old. 185 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,840 Speaker 6: I liked the emphasis on that it's a double meaning 186 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 6: it's not it's not only it's an old joke, but 187 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,439 Speaker 6: it's an old it's tired, but it never gets old. 188 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 2: No, it does. 189 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,319 Speaker 3: Only someone with wiz them could figure that out. 190 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:07,200 Speaker 1: Aged terribly, unlike John, who was aged with grace look 191 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 1: at him. So natural cycle being married, intense romantic attraction 192 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,760 Speaker 1: turns more stable a form of love where companionship, friendship, 193 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,560 Speaker 1: non physical affection take an increasingly more prominent role as 194 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,839 Speaker 1: a relationship ages and I was okay with it until 195 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:25,680 Speaker 1: very recently. We still had a healthy sexual life about 196 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 1: ten times per week. There's a lot of time everything, 197 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 1: sex fights. 198 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:35,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 199 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 1: I find her attractive and it came as a complete 200 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 1: shock when she announced, seemingly out of nowhere that she 201 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 1: wasn't really sexually attracted to me anymore. 202 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 2: We had what that's just sad boo. 203 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,680 Speaker 1: We had disagreements in the past about the spicy sleep 204 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:55,439 Speaker 1: frequency and settled on this is crazy two and a 205 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 1: half hours per week whenever possible of sexy time devoted 206 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: entirely to point five hours. 207 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:02,199 Speaker 2: Is o p. 208 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,720 Speaker 5: Tim Ferris, who for context like tracks things, tracks everything, 209 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 5: basically over optimize everything. 210 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,680 Speaker 6: I think it's more like a chess, like a speed 211 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,040 Speaker 6: chess game. They tap it in out. 212 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, all right, time starts out. 213 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:17,319 Speaker 1: I've been playing a lot of speed chests recently with 214 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 1: my friends and actually Riley too, Rightley pet me the 215 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 1: other day. 216 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 6: No, no, I'm really bad at chess. 217 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 1: Oh. Also shout out Linda for the five Gifted memberships 218 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:29,160 Speaker 1: and mad Hattodal for the five Gifted memberships, and Diana 219 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:33,360 Speaker 1: Garcia for the twenty dollars super Chat and dollar freaking 220 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,960 Speaker 1: supporting the stream dreams supportive. There's one that I did 221 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,320 Speaker 1: not read, but I will read it at the end 222 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:43,320 Speaker 1: of this this update. So at some point she started 223 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 1: making jokes about how my sexual drive is supposed to 224 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 1: slow down at this point and maybe I should find 225 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,959 Speaker 1: a younger woman to satisfy me. I thought this was 226 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,439 Speaker 1: just playful banter. It was not. 227 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:57,160 Speaker 6: It was just the truth was it was neither playful 228 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:57,920 Speaker 6: nor banter. 229 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:02,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, damn, it was true, truthful, straightforwardness, seriousness. 230 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,960 Speaker 6: It is truthful statement. 231 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,319 Speaker 1: It is my personal belief that a good relationship is 232 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:12,079 Speaker 1: based on the quality of the experiences people have together. 233 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 1: Early in their relationship, we traveled all across the world, 234 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 1: taking a month of vacation per year to exotic places. 235 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 1: We ran marathons together, played video games together, cooked together, 236 00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:24,440 Speaker 1: did yoga together, et cetera. It sounds like he had 237 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,559 Speaker 1: the perfect relationship. 238 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 6: Yeah, well, he says, I had the perfect relationship. 239 00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:32,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, what went wrong? At what point did 240 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 1: the communication breakdown? 241 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 2: I feel like there's something we don't know. Yeah. 242 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,559 Speaker 1: I feel like there's something, and I think we will 243 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 1: understand very soon. But I see you in the chat, 244 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:45,599 Speaker 1: if you see it, I look like Superman, So the 245 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:48,719 Speaker 1: nature of the experience together were overwhelmingly positive. When we 246 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,319 Speaker 1: decided to have kids, we came to an agreement that 247 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 1: we'd stay together no matter what until they were eighteen. 248 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,440 Speaker 1: WHOA is that a good idea? Stay together for the kids, no, no. 249 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 6: Matter what until they're eighteen. I don't know if that's 250 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,560 Speaker 6: a good relationship. I mean, if you're like constantly fighting 251 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:05,840 Speaker 6: and it's clearly end but. 252 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 1: They're not Kitchen, Which says, dang, this sounds like the 253 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:14,160 Speaker 1: ideal relationship. Yeah, slippy Toves says, Slighty Toave says, this 254 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,080 Speaker 1: is so sad. 255 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:16,280 Speaker 2: It is sad. 256 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 1: It is sad. Well, this is part of the reason 257 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 1: I feel betrayed. Now I realize it's a stupid thing 258 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 1: to agree to, but it made sense to me. Since 259 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:26,959 Speaker 1: she got pregnant, everything changed. A relationship didn't just not 260 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:33,200 Speaker 1: take priority. It fell out of her top ten. Oh whoa, 261 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 1: her EXCELSI just got all scrambled up. I love how 262 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:41,400 Speaker 1: man has numbers on everything, work, childcare, her personal hobbies, 263 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:44,199 Speaker 1: her extended family. All of a sudden became more important. 264 00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 1: I was cognizant of this change and try to implement 265 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 1: special time for us alone together, but was met with 266 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 1: lukewarm responses at best. She was dragging her feet on everything. 267 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 1: This is so sad. This is so sad, especially because 268 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,360 Speaker 1: it's like he doesn't even know what happened. Yeah, making 269 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 1: it seem that usual things like attending a friend's wedding 270 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,240 Speaker 1: was all of a sudden a great favor she was 271 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:10,520 Speaker 1: doing for everyone. I tried my best to suggest things 272 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 1: for us to together, but increasingly got rejected more and more. 273 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:13,960 Speaker 2: Fine. 274 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,079 Speaker 1: I thought this was just a phase. We'll tough it 275 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 1: out together and recapture the magic as our kid gets older. Oh, 276 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:21,320 Speaker 1: he was like down to just. 277 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 2: Into the sunset. 278 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 1: I should say that she has been acting depressed, not 279 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 1: enjoying life, complaining about work more and more. One complaint 280 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,440 Speaker 1: she has had since our kid was born was the 281 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,560 Speaker 1: lack of support and childcare. In the first two years, 282 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 1: our child preferred the company of his mother, and I 283 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:43,240 Speaker 1: thought this was normal and understandable, even the child, even 284 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:46,840 Speaker 1: the kids preferring her. Oh, a man can't catch her. 285 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,440 Speaker 2: Worry I'm breaking up with you, daddy. 286 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I need some space, dad, I should say that 287 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:53,880 Speaker 1: she uh so. 288 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:54,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, even the kid. 289 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,720 Speaker 1: I thought this was normal and understandable. We tried multiple 290 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:01,840 Speaker 1: times for me to give him back baths, get him dressed, 291 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 1: but he would always start crying and ask for his mother. 292 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 1: Since he became three, he increasingly wants to spend time 293 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,960 Speaker 1: with me more and more so while asking for more help, 294 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: my wife refuses, offers, refuses, offers for me to to 295 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 1: make school lunches, get him dressed for school, and walk 296 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:20,120 Speaker 1: him to. 297 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 2: School and back. 298 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 1: So so her the wife, She's like, hey, I need 299 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,960 Speaker 1: more help with childcare, and Op's like, let me help 300 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,840 Speaker 1: make lunches, let me help take the kids to school, 301 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 1: and she's like no. So goal one discover and work 302 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,560 Speaker 1: towards a future in which we stay together as a family. 303 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:41,000 Speaker 1: Goal too. If goal one is not possible, work towards 304 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:47,040 Speaker 1: the best possible future for our kidow So there is 305 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 1: no update that is That is the end of that story. 306 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:54,840 Speaker 1: So what advice do we give John as the most 307 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 1: senior member of this group? Stop using numbers by seven months? 308 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:00,880 Speaker 2: What do you think? 309 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 5: Also, I just wanted to quickly say, uh not fully, 310 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,480 Speaker 5: but this guy does sound like a little bit like 311 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,040 Speaker 5: like you like the way he broke down the goals 312 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 5: at the end, did kind of give me no, no, 313 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 5: very structured and like smart and straightforward and figuring out 314 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:22,080 Speaker 5: what to do. I think it kind of feels like 315 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 5: he's gonna fight a losing battle if he keeps trying 316 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,360 Speaker 5: to like understand and figure out, like he keeps just 317 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,240 Speaker 5: hitting this brick wall of like she's not really giving 318 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 5: him anything. 319 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 1: And sometimes it's not the answer isn't in the analytics. 320 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:41,640 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's purely an emotional response to therapy. Oh yeah, 321 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 1: and I think he said that. Yeah, Like I mean 322 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:51,600 Speaker 1: in this story, he's like, I've tried talking, but it 323 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:56,960 Speaker 1: seems like that she yeah, because he said different. He 324 00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 1: he he. I offered counseling, taking time apart seeing other 325 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:03,960 Speaker 1: people romantically, a period of focusing or treating each other 326 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,400 Speaker 1: with special care and affection. Everything has been dismissed without 327 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,080 Speaker 1: any thought. 328 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:11,239 Speaker 2: Yeah. That to me is like he's done pretty much. 329 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,120 Speaker 2: He's exhausted the list. 330 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:16,480 Speaker 6: It seems like she's already done the time of Like 331 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:20,160 Speaker 6: it doesn't seem like this is necessarily a like instant 332 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,080 Speaker 6: decision for her. I feel like she's probably done the 333 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,159 Speaker 6: time without him, like. 334 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 2: Long ago, on her own. According to now, she's finally 335 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:29,720 Speaker 2: bringing it to him. 336 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,760 Speaker 1: Which is not like if you have a committed relationship. 337 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,600 Speaker 1: I feel like that's never a good No, you shouldn't 338 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,840 Speaker 1: be doing You should communicate as soon as the feelings 339 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:37,480 Speaker 1: set in. Yeah. 340 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:41,120 Speaker 6: Absolutely, but it seems like that might be what she's done. Yeah, 341 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,640 Speaker 6: and now she's she's going, and is she leaving the kid? 342 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:45,359 Speaker 4: No? 343 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,200 Speaker 1: No, no, she she wants to stay with the kid, 344 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:51,440 Speaker 1: but she's like kind of preventing op from spending time 345 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:51,920 Speaker 1: with the child. 346 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,560 Speaker 6: No, when she leaves though, it is my point. 347 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:58,960 Speaker 1: When she leaves, Oh, I don't. I don't know if 348 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 1: we have clarity on what their plan is with the child, 349 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:06,639 Speaker 1: but she is voice that she wants to leave. I 350 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 1: think they are still living together and there is not 351 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,440 Speaker 1: the there's not the details figured out? 352 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:13,000 Speaker 6: Gotcha? 353 00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 5: And well he said like like the second goal is 354 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 5: like trying to figure out how to co parent, to 355 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:19,040 Speaker 5: raise the children as best as possible or something, right. 356 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so first it's like how can we stay together? 357 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,280 Speaker 1: Second is if that's not possible, how do we coparent 358 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:29,159 Speaker 1: with how to stay together? Like like you, I mean, 359 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,399 Speaker 1: she feels like he's done. 360 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:30,879 Speaker 2: All the right thing. 361 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:35,680 Speaker 6: Yeah, it feels like, yeah, I feel like the main 362 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 6: thing to focus the goal if you will to focus 363 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,760 Speaker 6: on is prioritizing the child and seeing how you can 364 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:45,320 Speaker 6: maintain your relationship with him while being like at least, 365 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 6: but it sounds having like a what's the. 366 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 1: Word, like good dialogue with your wife. It sounds like 367 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 1: she's actively trying to not let him have a relationship 368 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,560 Speaker 1: with the kid because she's like through legal things. 369 00:18:59,680 --> 00:18:59,840 Speaker 6: Yeah. 370 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I think I think have a have a 371 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,200 Speaker 1: sit down talk about why she's preventing you from or 372 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,920 Speaker 1: why she doesn't want your help with the child specifically, 373 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:14,680 Speaker 1: talk about that and then start looking at like what 374 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,119 Speaker 1: does it look like to separate, And maybe in talking 375 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 1: about what it looks like to separate, she'll realize that 376 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,480 Speaker 1: isn't what she wants. But it sounds like she's not 377 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:28,160 Speaker 1: giving you any opening to talk about working on the relationship. 378 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:32,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think. So it's just trying to juice a 379 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,720 Speaker 2: rock at this point. It's fighting a losing. 380 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,960 Speaker 1: Battle trying to juice a rock. Yeah, it's hard, It 381 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,640 Speaker 1: is hard. Yemmy Mane says, if this was a guy, 382 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:45,080 Speaker 1: y'all would be losing your mind. But I see only 383 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:49,679 Speaker 1: excuses who I don't think that's that's. 384 00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:52,560 Speaker 5: Like if the roles were reversed basically, oh if like 385 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,440 Speaker 5: if a guy, if the wife was a guy and 386 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:56,600 Speaker 5: just like leaving. 387 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,560 Speaker 1: No, I think I think she is not like I 388 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,879 Speaker 1: think she is. To be clear, I think she the 389 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 1: communication terrible. Yeah, the wife is not communicating. That's not fair. 390 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,920 Speaker 1: The fact that she's trying to keep Op's like son 391 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:17,240 Speaker 1: away from him terrible. I think what we're trying to 392 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:17,760 Speaker 1: figure out. 393 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,200 Speaker 6: Is like howss his goals? 394 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, how to address his goals because it's not it's 395 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:21,960 Speaker 1: not really. 396 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 6: About her at this point. It's more about like him 397 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,840 Speaker 6: and doing what's right for him. 398 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 1: Tony Spilaco says he tried talking, but is he tried 399 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:36,680 Speaker 1: shutting up and listening. I think we don't know's not counting, Yeah, 400 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 1: not counting. Man's counting everything. I mean, I think he's 401 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:42,640 Speaker 1: offered counseling. 402 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,639 Speaker 5: It seems possible. This is it's a big infra. It's 403 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,680 Speaker 5: like a big guess. But like Op does seem a 404 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:55,560 Speaker 5: bit of a yapper. He's flapping his gums with he's 405 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 5: just reading his excel. 406 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:57,560 Speaker 6: She he's got. 407 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,640 Speaker 2: Maybe if if we want to take this and run 408 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 2: with it, it's. 409 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:07,160 Speaker 5: His like like just over bearing, over analyzing, just talk 410 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,480 Speaker 5: a thousand miles a second not get a word in 411 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,439 Speaker 5: Edgeway's nature that She's like, I'm done you as soon 412 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,640 Speaker 5: as something comes up, you pull up an Excel sheet 413 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,159 Speaker 5: for us to run through, and I'm tired. 414 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:18,199 Speaker 6: I'm tired. 415 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:19,359 Speaker 2: That's a big guess. 416 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 1: So you you kind of compared me to this guy, 417 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 1: And I actually think I've like been this kind of 418 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,960 Speaker 1: like kind of this guy in a relationship where things 419 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 1: were wrong in the relationship and instead of addressing the 420 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:35,720 Speaker 1: emotional connection, I was like, well, we spend four hours 421 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 1: a week on this and we spend like three days 422 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,760 Speaker 1: a week, and like that's not like she wasn't asking 423 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:44,240 Speaker 1: for a spreadsheet, she was asking to feel a certain 424 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,160 Speaker 1: way in the relationship. And I think what this guy 425 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:51,159 Speaker 1: might be doing, which is is a I think for 426 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,640 Speaker 1: people who are like analytical, is something they could fall 427 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,760 Speaker 1: into and something I have definitely fallen into is like, oh, 428 00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 1: the emotional weeds are not met. Let's back it up 429 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:04,040 Speaker 1: up with numbers and like like let's let's let's funnel 430 00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:07,879 Speaker 1: everything that is emotional into an actionable into a number 431 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:09,680 Speaker 1: and say, if you're getting this, then you should feel 432 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,080 Speaker 1: this way. And there is like that is helpful in 433 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:16,199 Speaker 1: some situations, but taken to an extreme, you are neglecting 434 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 1: really listening, and you're exacting the emotional needs of a partner. 435 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,960 Speaker 2: Also, to be clear, I was comparing all of the 436 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 2: what I deem great. 437 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,119 Speaker 5: Qualities about that guy, and I was just trying to 438 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,440 Speaker 5: take a little nugget from that person and extrapolate. So 439 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,359 Speaker 5: don't don't go crazy clipping and having all those theories 440 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:33,960 Speaker 5: in the discord. 441 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 2: Okay, say I love him. Okay, I love you too. 442 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:38,560 Speaker 1: John. 443 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 6: Also like complacency is not necessarily like the best type 444 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,639 Speaker 6: of marriage, you know, because he's saying, oh, well, we 445 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:50,200 Speaker 6: do all this stuff, and it's, well, I don't know 446 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 6: if theory good, but I don't think you want to. 447 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:56,879 Speaker 2: Be running the marathons and ceiling around Greece's complacency. 448 00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,680 Speaker 6: She's saying like, oh, and I'm not saying like I'm 449 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:04,159 Speaker 6: signed with her, but like she's saying, it's it's just fine. 450 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 6: But you don't want to just be complacent. You want 451 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 6: to like have joy in the relationship, which she should 452 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,240 Speaker 6: be talking to him about it, but I don't think 453 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:13,479 Speaker 6: you can. 454 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:19,080 Speaker 1: Like it's maybe it's like maybe she's brought all of 455 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 1: these things to him and his solution has been, like, 456 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,879 Speaker 1: let's make it actionable, and that's why they have all 457 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:28,320 Speaker 1: of these things that should represent connection. But at the court, 458 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:31,600 Speaker 1: it's like they're not connecting from something deeper and something 459 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:32,439 Speaker 1: more fundamental. 460 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,960 Speaker 5: Also, maybe like their their definitions of like what is 461 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 5: like what is exciting and engaging is now very different. 462 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 5: Like Sam loves going to the the skate park and 463 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,280 Speaker 5: and doing all this stuff. I like shaking my booty 464 00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,080 Speaker 5: cheeks in a dance class. 465 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,439 Speaker 1: Right next to sometimes he shakes his booty cheeks right 466 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 1: next to the skate park where I skate. 467 00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:56,359 Speaker 5: Exactly, So at the roller rink, people have different have 468 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,879 Speaker 5: different views of what's like exciting and engaging. 469 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,239 Speaker 2: Maybe it's now misaligned between the two of them. 470 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,639 Speaker 1: But if maybe I mean, I want to discuss and 471 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 1: read some of your your comments and chats right now, 472 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:08,680 Speaker 1: but maybe we could have someone call in and give 473 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:12,000 Speaker 1: their perspective on the discord. Cool, So if you want 474 00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:16,120 Speaker 1: us to bring you up on the show, cup, call 475 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:20,080 Speaker 1: in and and message us on discord, message Rily specifically 476 00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:25,360 Speaker 1: on Discord. Trisy Ada says, it just seems like there's 477 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:29,240 Speaker 1: a ton of missing info here, whether that's intentional or not. Yeah, 478 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,280 Speaker 1: I wish, really wish there was a we only have. 479 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,639 Speaker 6: His side, his sides we usually do. Yeah, there is 480 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:38,760 Speaker 6: one story today that has two sides. Actually I love those. 481 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, and Lessandro Rivera says Sam, I don't know her side. Yeah, 482 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,240 Speaker 1: we don't know her side, so obviously, you know, we 483 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 1: can only ever judge these things from from one side, 484 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 1: because that's all we have. But I think we try 485 00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:53,760 Speaker 1: to give as much advice as we can in this situation. 486 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,520 Speaker 1: Amanda says, it sounds like they're in a stage of 487 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,920 Speaker 1: parenting a very young child, which is exceptionally difficult and hard. 488 00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:04,000 Speaker 1: It would test any relationship when you have small children. Yeah, 489 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 1: what sounds like is the relationship change upon birth, and 490 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 1: so it's like she's giving all her time into this 491 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,920 Speaker 1: child and that Yeah, that that is difficult. 492 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:14,600 Speaker 2: Changes things. 493 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:17,159 Speaker 1: It changes things for sure. I would be curious for 494 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,719 Speaker 1: anyone who you know has had young kids, what does 495 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,959 Speaker 1: it do to change your relationship in your priorities? Imagine 496 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,840 Speaker 1: it changes a lot. Right now. Alan Foster says, I 497 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,680 Speaker 1: don't trust the storyteller. If you don't trust the storyteller, 498 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 1: then what's the point of reading it. 499 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:33,760 Speaker 6: I think you can get I mean what's the point 500 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 6: of reading like Catcher in the Rye. He's an unreliable narrator. Yeah, 501 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,640 Speaker 6: but we still read him in schools. 502 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,720 Speaker 1: And I think also, it's like, like I think what 503 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,160 Speaker 1: we do is we assume what we're hearing is the truth, 504 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:50,119 Speaker 1: and even in stories where maybe that it's it's not 505 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,320 Speaker 1: the complete truth, you still learn a lot about how 506 00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:55,680 Speaker 1: to navigate these relationships. Like every I think something that's 507 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 1: cool about this show is each one of these stories 508 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,480 Speaker 1: teaches us how to nowgate relationships a little bit better, 509 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:05,240 Speaker 1: just by kind of going through the scenarios of like 510 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,880 Speaker 1: what would you do in this situation? The thought exercise, 511 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:09,960 Speaker 1: It's yeah, it's the thought experiment. I think that's like 512 00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:13,040 Speaker 1: I've learned to navigate relationships better by hearing these stories, 513 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:14,480 Speaker 1: and I've learned which avoid. 514 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,240 Speaker 6: Yeah, you can also take away things. Even if you're 515 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 6: suspicious of the narrator. You can be like, well they're 516 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,800 Speaker 6: saying it like this, but I can get advice and say, like, 517 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,560 Speaker 6: for example, for this story, we can say, ask your 518 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,439 Speaker 6: wife if there was anything you know, like if there 519 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,720 Speaker 6: was anything that you did, yeah, and like have that 520 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,879 Speaker 6: dialogue if there was anything missed, you. 521 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,680 Speaker 1: Know, if I was to ask something to Ope, I 522 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:39,040 Speaker 1: would say, what are your wife's reasons? Yeah, for wanting 523 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,200 Speaker 1: to leave? Yeah, and like because we don't have those, 524 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,440 Speaker 1: because we don't have those, And I don't think like 525 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:45,879 Speaker 1: there wasn't a point where it's like I asked her 526 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,920 Speaker 1: what the reason was and she said this, you know, 527 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:50,880 Speaker 1: it was just like, Oh, let's work this out, let's 528 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,920 Speaker 1: go to like, you know, let's spend time more time together, 529 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,160 Speaker 1: let's go to a counselor. And I don't think he's 530 00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:01,000 Speaker 1: even done the work of understanding why she's doing it. 531 00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 1: He's he's already just going to solutions. Yeah, a problem 532 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,040 Speaker 1: that he may not even understand. 533 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,040 Speaker 6: Yeah, that's okay, he doesn't understand. He's like, I don't 534 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:08,640 Speaker 6: know why she's leaving. 535 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:09,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, he doesn't understand. 536 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:10,720 Speaker 6: I have to understand that. 537 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,080 Speaker 1: But Riley is going to be pulling up someone on 538 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 1: the discord someway, we got someone. Well, while we're pulling 539 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:18,720 Speaker 1: that up, Sarah Neula Thanks to the ten bucks. Have 540 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:20,920 Speaker 1: an update. I posted a story today on Amma a 541 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 1: hole for making my senior father and stepmother homeless on 542 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,720 Speaker 1: the sub Love you guys on the subreddit Huge sounds 543 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,200 Speaker 1: like it maybe we can pull that up for either 544 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 1: this live stream or next one. Uncle Daddy Jesse, thanks 545 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 1: for the twenty dollars. 546 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,439 Speaker 5: Daddy's in the chataty Uncle and Daddy always supporting the. 547 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:38,399 Speaker 2: Stream can go. 548 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:39,960 Speaker 4: On. 549 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,440 Speaker 5: Foxy Cat thanks for a five bucks package sent in 550 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,359 Speaker 5: the mail today. Please let me know which stream you 551 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,680 Speaker 5: open it on. It's from Foxy Cat Miniatures. The box 552 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,840 Speaker 5: has gold tape on it. Foxy Cat will will be 553 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,840 Speaker 5: on the lookout for that. And then Asian Persuasion and 554 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 5: I said the whole use name. Thanks for the two 555 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,840 Speaker 5: bucks cracks my phone today. I don't know how long 556 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,920 Speaker 5: it'll last rip. Asian Persuasion and I literally want you 557 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,719 Speaker 5: to take a screenshot at one percent to show your 558 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 5: commitment to this stream. Yeah that you stay with us 559 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:07,520 Speaker 5: all and put it in the discord. 560 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:08,240 Speaker 2: That is correct. 561 00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:12,560 Speaker 1: Also yesterday John accoluent Agent Persuasion, that was the members 562 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,440 Speaker 1: only stream. So that's true. 563 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:20,760 Speaker 5: I just mounted myself for no reasons. Asian hold yourselves accountable. 564 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,680 Speaker 5: And Diana Garcia, thanks for the twenty bucks. Excited that 565 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,800 Speaker 5: I caught this live before going on a long road trip. Diana, 566 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:30,800 Speaker 5: many people actually put on our content on the road trips. 567 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:35,040 Speaker 6: If I might make a suggestion, Yeah, if you were 568 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,000 Speaker 6: thinking about listening to whatever podcast we do. 569 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,440 Speaker 2: Have like the most like catalog of like any show 570 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:42,240 Speaker 2: on planet Earth. 571 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,720 Speaker 1: You have almost two thousand videos, chrisy and now every 572 00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:51,640 Speaker 1: video is an hour. You could listen to Okay, op Okay, 573 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 1: story time, non stop you story. 574 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:57,120 Speaker 2: Times, the old out. 575 00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 6: No, I was gonna say, like old. 576 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:05,080 Speaker 1: John, old John, Oh God, oh God, but Riley, do 577 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,320 Speaker 1: we got this person pulled. 578 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:12,120 Speaker 6: Up angry jees its baby cheese. It is healthy, baby cheese. 579 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:16,000 Speaker 1: It was our first yeah, first baby born on stream, 580 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:20,560 Speaker 1: almost our first child, our first okay baby. That's right, 581 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 1: Diana Garcia, thanks for the twenty bucks. S Matt Hattergall 582 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 1: thanks to the five gifted memberships. And Linda, thanks for 583 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:32,000 Speaker 1: the five gifted memberships. Angry cheese it that's so cool 584 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:36,720 Speaker 1: that we have like a baby. We collectively are raising 585 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:41,880 Speaker 1: this baby baby. Yeah, finally catching alive since the semester ended, 586 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:45,120 Speaker 1: you guys announce the name change on my birthday and 587 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 1: almost broke my heart. Baby cheese it too well, Hey, 588 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 1: we're sticking around for a while longer. 589 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:54,360 Speaker 5: Imagine she birthed the okay baby and then killed the okay, 590 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:56,280 Speaker 5: shall her birthday. 591 00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:01,640 Speaker 6: It's like Tricia Patis and the Queen. Y'all know that, Laura. 592 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,960 Speaker 6: So basically just this thing where Tricia Pads will name 593 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:10,880 Speaker 6: her child like a YouTuber, very big YouTuber, Like I 594 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:14,480 Speaker 6: don't know, I don't watch your stuff, but but there's 595 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,560 Speaker 6: this thing like that. A lot of TikTok people have 596 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:20,960 Speaker 6: been talking about where she'll name her baby after one 597 00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:24,400 Speaker 6: of the like rulers. So she named her first baby, 598 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:28,600 Speaker 6: I think Elizabeth after Queen Elizabeth. Name it after dictators 599 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:32,400 Speaker 6: before no no, no, a week before. I don't know 600 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,600 Speaker 6: if this is the right timeline, but like very close 601 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,840 Speaker 6: to Queen Elizabeth's death. And then I think she named 602 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,120 Speaker 6: her other child after another royal. 603 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,840 Speaker 1: Oh, so what they're saying is she is predicting the royals. 604 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:48,560 Speaker 6: She knows, she's like the baby's born and they take over. 605 00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:51,560 Speaker 1: That is crazy. I hope that does not happen to us. 606 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:52,520 Speaker 6: That's my point. 607 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, wells two bucks, it takes two to make it 608 00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:57,680 Speaker 1: work out, and she has checked out completely. 609 00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 2: Agree. 610 00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:00,880 Speaker 1: Tay ninety nine thinks to five bucks. Just made it 611 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,080 Speaker 1: home from work in time to catch a live stream, 612 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:06,080 Speaker 1: time to unwine and relax while listening to Okay, story time, 613 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:11,800 Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, and then finally but Tika water 614 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:13,560 Speaker 1: and thanks to the one buck. Sometimes it's easier to 615 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 1: just do things by yourself. I became a single parent 616 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,760 Speaker 1: even before I got my divorce my ex husband because 617 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,479 Speaker 1: even though he was at the house, I asked him 618 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,280 Speaker 1: so many questions and asked him to help, and he 619 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:27,440 Speaker 1: just didn't do it, okay, which, yeah, maybe maybe that 620 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:31,520 Speaker 1: is maybe that is what's happening. But it seems like 621 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,040 Speaker 1: oh p is trying to help, and Sophia Wanna. 622 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:37,760 Speaker 6: Apparently I got the the lore the Trishia patis lare wrong. Uh, 623 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,760 Speaker 6: I guess they just they were born right before. 624 00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:48,040 Speaker 1: But much to talk about it, Yanna Tanza's okayop tattoos 625 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,800 Speaker 1: are still in? Yes, okayop tattoos are very much still in. 626 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:54,800 Speaker 1: It shows that you're og. Yeah, it's legacy. It's legacy, 627 00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:56,080 Speaker 1: you think for the ten. 628 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,520 Speaker 6: Bucks currently at the hospital waiting to have my baby, 629 00:31:58,600 --> 00:31:59,720 Speaker 6: thanks for taking my mind off. 630 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,440 Speaker 2: The ball another okay, baby, can we have it? 631 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,520 Speaker 1: Yeah? Can you send it when your baby gets born? 632 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,400 Speaker 1: Can you send it in this in the discord? 633 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,520 Speaker 2: Can you send it through the po box? 634 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:15,040 Speaker 1: Can you create a video of your child entering the world. 635 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,760 Speaker 2: Can we can we line up the end of the stream? 636 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:22,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I just play the video, actually live stream the 637 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:23,240 Speaker 1: video of the baby. 638 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,960 Speaker 2: Can I can announce it as we close out? 639 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:26,520 Speaker 1: Yeah? 640 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:28,760 Speaker 2: We love you and welcome to the world. 641 00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:32,440 Speaker 1: Welcome to the world. Yeah yeah, I'm just saying request 642 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:33,600 Speaker 1: time it dive it come on. 643 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,320 Speaker 6: Tiny Cactus corrects me and says the Tricia Paitis law 644 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,640 Speaker 6: was that the queen was going to be reincarnated as 645 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:40,880 Speaker 6: her baby, so that it still works. 646 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,400 Speaker 1: It still works, still works. I have no idea about this, lor, 647 00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 1: but I do know about this. Next scroll up rightly, 648 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:52,200 Speaker 1: scroll scroll I do know about uh oh my gosh, 649 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,080 Speaker 1: there's so many grim whispers. Thanks for the one twenty 650 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:57,080 Speaker 1: two first time seeing a live Kira from New Zealand. 651 00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:01,000 Speaker 1: Welcome Belma Williams into the five buck hard day, but 652 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,640 Speaker 1: you all made me stop smile trying to do our 653 00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 1: best the Sondra of very things to the ten bucks. 654 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,240 Speaker 1: Congratulations to you, Agent Persuasion. Thanks to the two bucks. 655 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:13,840 Speaker 1: I meant the screen has the lines of death rock 656 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:15,320 Speaker 1: and roll MoMA. Thanks to the five bucks. My ex 657 00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,760 Speaker 1: of four years left me because I was pregnant which 658 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:21,160 Speaker 1: we had planned. She's now nine and has never met 659 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:23,520 Speaker 1: her dad as he doesn't want anything to do with her. 660 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,680 Speaker 1: I also found out that he was cheating our whole 661 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:29,240 Speaker 1: relationship but a single parent since rock and Roll Mama, 662 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:32,120 Speaker 1: I am so sorry about that, but honestly, dead Weight 663 00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:35,480 Speaker 1: probably better off without her. Heart's in the chat for 664 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:38,320 Speaker 1: rock and Roll Mama, you're rockstar and mad Hatter GALLANX 665 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,560 Speaker 1: to the ten bucks. How does Hatter relax after mailing 666 00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:46,480 Speaker 1: out twenty orders, watching Okay story time and playing Withering 667 00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:48,160 Speaker 1: Way with is that? 668 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:48,480 Speaker 2: Wither? 669 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:48,720 Speaker 4: Is that? 670 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:49,200 Speaker 5: You know? With? 671 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:50,360 Speaker 3: What? 672 00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 4: No? 673 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:52,640 Speaker 6: I just know how to pronounce whthering. 674 00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:57,800 Speaker 2: Everyone's just. 675 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:04,320 Speaker 1: Go to the discord and get some thoughts on this story. 676 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:07,880 Speaker 2: All right, we have. 677 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:15,200 Speaker 3: You have a lot of like deadly gamer. All right, 678 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:19,319 Speaker 3: we are calling right now. You know if you can 679 00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:19,560 Speaker 3: hear it? 680 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:22,320 Speaker 1: Can you hear It's double gamer, deadly Gamer. 681 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:27,800 Speaker 2: They're hopping on. You're on mute, Hello and lower low. 682 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:33,120 Speaker 1: Deadly Gamer on mute, deadly Gamer, deadly Gamer, you're on mute. 683 00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:33,719 Speaker 2: We want to hear you. 684 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:38,640 Speaker 1: Oh hello, hello, can you hear us? 685 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:39,879 Speaker 4: Yes? 686 00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:40,279 Speaker 6: Hi? 687 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:41,719 Speaker 2: How's it going? 688 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,880 Speaker 1: Deadly Gamer? So you heard the story? What do you 689 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:48,480 Speaker 1: think do you think uh OPI is listening enough? Do 690 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:52,280 Speaker 1: you think Opie can do anything to save the relationship? 691 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,960 Speaker 1: And also, if not, what do you do about the kid? 692 00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:56,680 Speaker 4: Hello? 693 00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,120 Speaker 6: You can hear me, right, could you? 694 00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,480 Speaker 5: I think the YouTube might be playing in the background. 695 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,279 Speaker 5: It would be best to turn that off, but might 696 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:05,000 Speaker 5: get a little. 697 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:06,880 Speaker 6: Yeah, no, I got you, sorry. 698 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,880 Speaker 4: Right, So I would just want to say thank you 699 00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:13,920 Speaker 4: guys for having me real quick, like I've had a 700 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:15,359 Speaker 4: shitty day and this makes it better. 701 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:17,800 Speaker 1: Oh, we're glad you could come on. 702 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:23,880 Speaker 4: So I'm I'm. I was thirteen when my parents got divorced, 703 00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:26,560 Speaker 4: and I just want to say, if Opie stays with 704 00:35:26,719 --> 00:35:30,640 Speaker 4: her and does not get divorced, it will become miserable, 705 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,000 Speaker 4: not just for that child. I am the oldest of 706 00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:39,600 Speaker 4: three and I have been prentified so much since two 707 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:43,319 Speaker 4: thousand and four. And when my mom told me when 708 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:46,160 Speaker 4: I was thirteen they were getting a divorce, I didn't cry. 709 00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:48,160 Speaker 4: I was happy because I've been waiting for that for 710 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,120 Speaker 4: so long. Wow, it's better to Yeah. 711 00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:54,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, so that I they were talking about and so 712 00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,840 Speaker 1: sorry that happened to you. But like that that idea, 713 00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:00,279 Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, let's stay together for uh, until 714 00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:03,160 Speaker 1: they're eighteen. Usually, no, it's not worth it. 715 00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:07,400 Speaker 4: My mom, I'm my youngest brother is sixteen, and to 716 00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:09,560 Speaker 4: this day, my mom looks at me and she was 717 00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:14,960 Speaker 4: nineteen when I was born. Yeah, and she looks at 718 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,440 Speaker 4: me and says, to this day, I wish I left 719 00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:18,440 Speaker 4: your father sooner. 720 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:19,239 Speaker 2: Yeah. 721 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:23,840 Speaker 1: So I guess, like for Op's for a no piece case, 722 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:27,879 Speaker 1: like your advice would be leave sooner rather than stay 723 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:28,799 Speaker 1: for something that's not working. 724 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,040 Speaker 2: You good to hear from you, Yeah, because you've actually 725 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:31,560 Speaker 2: saw it. 726 00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:33,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you've like actually been through it. 727 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:35,080 Speaker 6: Yeah. 728 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:38,560 Speaker 4: I And I just want to say, like, OP needs 729 00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:41,480 Speaker 4: to protect that child if you go through divorce. My 730 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:45,480 Speaker 4: father saub poenaed me at that very same time. It 731 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,680 Speaker 4: is something that OP needs to protect. He needs to 732 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,120 Speaker 4: fight for that child to stay out of that courtroom 733 00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:55,600 Speaker 4: no matter what. Because I was almost put in front 734 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,239 Speaker 4: of my parents on the stand to talk about both 735 00:36:58,280 --> 00:36:59,160 Speaker 4: my parents. 736 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:03,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, which I mean would be so hard as a kid. Yeah. No, 737 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:06,480 Speaker 1: So sorry you went through that. But I think like 738 00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:10,680 Speaker 1: that that's a really important important point because with with OP, 739 00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,279 Speaker 1: I think like there's there's the idea of like, oh, 740 00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:18,279 Speaker 1: maybe he has to pursue legal recourse to manage this 741 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:22,520 Speaker 1: thing with his with his with his child and his wife, 742 00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:25,360 Speaker 1: maybe like taking more custody, like by force. 743 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,880 Speaker 2: But ideally keep it out. That's what my father did as. 744 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,840 Speaker 1: Much as yeah, keep it out at the courtroom as 745 00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:32,640 Speaker 1: much as possible. So sorry yet to go with that, 746 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,800 Speaker 1: but thank you so much for sharing your experience. 747 00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:39,719 Speaker 4: Gamer much about what happened in the courtroom. I could 748 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:41,040 Speaker 4: come up with a whole story. 749 00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:44,040 Speaker 1: On it, submitted to the subreddity we're here. 750 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:48,200 Speaker 4: Definitely I have to work on writing it down proper 751 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,919 Speaker 4: because I got tons on like my whole life. 752 00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:52,680 Speaker 6: You would have a whole series. 753 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:55,840 Speaker 1: Please, you know what. We're excited for the first installment, 754 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:57,920 Speaker 1: Deadly Gabor. Thank you so much for calling in and 755 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:02,239 Speaker 1: giving your your perspective. Thank you for making my day like. 756 00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:07,359 Speaker 2: Again touch out. 757 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,080 Speaker 1: Yeah it's always I mean, like so sorry Deadly Gamer 758 00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,040 Speaker 1: had to go through that, but like it's really I 759 00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:18,000 Speaker 1: think an important perspective of how like how on on 760 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:22,160 Speaker 1: eggshells or how careful you have to be when navigating 761 00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:26,120 Speaker 1: a divorce and is potentially a contentious divorce because like 762 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,200 Speaker 1: the kids involved and you don't you don't want to 763 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,880 Speaker 1: have the kid be affected by that. 764 00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:31,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think it's great. 765 00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:34,239 Speaker 5: Like if anyone's listening to this story right now or 766 00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:36,560 Speaker 5: anytime in the future and kind of goes through something similar, 767 00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:39,719 Speaker 5: it's like, uh oh, staying together for the kids is 768 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:42,800 Speaker 5: actually probably like not only the better thing, but the 769 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,799 Speaker 5: way worse thing to do. Hearing from someone who's gone 770 00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:48,080 Speaker 5: through that experience and like just making the number one 771 00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:49,919 Speaker 5: priority protecting the kids is Yeah. 772 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:54,359 Speaker 1: I've honestly like, again and again I've heard staying together 773 00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:57,359 Speaker 1: for the kids is like not a good idea. Yeah, 774 00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,839 Speaker 1: like again and again, and so I feel like it's 775 00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:03,120 Speaker 1: it's almost it feels like a common myth. Yeah, it 776 00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:05,560 Speaker 1: feels like it need to be disproved. 777 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,080 Speaker 6: Well, it's it's going off of like the idea of 778 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:11,200 Speaker 6: the nuclear household and that anything that exists outside of 779 00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:13,439 Speaker 6: that is bad is bad, which is not true. 780 00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:17,040 Speaker 1: No, I think what what Like, it's not about maintaining 781 00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:22,319 Speaker 1: the nuclear household. It's about maintaining the sanity of both 782 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,759 Speaker 1: parties in a relationship. And if both parties in a 783 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:28,120 Speaker 1: relationship are happy and healthy, they are better. You can 784 00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,120 Speaker 1: be better parents, and you can you are better fit 785 00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:31,480 Speaker 1: to take care. 786 00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:33,960 Speaker 6: Of the child, taking care of your mental health is like, 787 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:34,720 Speaker 6: you don't. 788 00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,360 Speaker 2: Need a nuclear family, you need a bomb family. 789 00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:37,719 Speaker 1: Yeah. 790 00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:43,040 Speaker 6: Now, I don't believe in trickle down economics, but trickle 791 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:51,800 Speaker 6: down mental health, mental health, trickle down mental health. The 792 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:54,080 Speaker 6: people who are at the top, if you get their 793 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:57,320 Speaker 6: own mental health stort it, it'll benefit those on the bottom. 794 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:00,440 Speaker 1: That I'm ready for you to make the at speech.