1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,920 Speaker 1: Today, I afked up by accidentally kidnapping immigrants and getting arrested. 2 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:06,640 Speaker 1: I live near a smaller airport and I help out 3 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 1: the local Turkish community center. 4 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:09,160 Speaker 2: I am white. 5 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:13,240 Speaker 1: What is white that? That is a big question, sir, 6 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: that is a big question. 7 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:15,880 Speaker 2: I'm white. 8 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,639 Speaker 1: But I do go to a free dinner they do 9 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 1: every other Thursday, and it's amazing. That's why he is 10 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:27,800 Speaker 1: going that freaking that schmacks. So I choose to volunteer 11 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:31,720 Speaker 1: Everyone's delight a Turkish doll. He's getting that Turkish delight. 12 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 3: The only Turkish food that I know, Turkish delight. And 13 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,080 Speaker 3: I heard like the coffee there, Yes, I have you 14 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 3: had Turkish coffee? No, it's it is actually very good 15 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 3: and it is very good. 16 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:41,839 Speaker 2: Yeah. 17 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 1: I worked at a place called mister Kobob and Faloffel 18 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,919 Speaker 1: as a waiter. Uh, that's a whole Honestly, we can 19 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 1: do a whole series on my adventures. 20 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, I've heard like one or two stories. 21 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: It was an interesting time. It was an interesting time. 22 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: So I go down there every Thursday for dinner and 23 00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: it's amazing. So I choose a volunteer every once in 24 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: a while while you know, set up, take down, helped 25 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 1: the older people out the usual volunteer at a center thing. 26 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,399 Speaker 1: So I've met a ton of awesome people and they 27 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 1: were all blast to hang out with. I love how 28 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 1: Op is just like just into the freaking like Turkish 29 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 1: community community, honorary Turkish person over here that she's like, 30 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 1: I just went for the free meals and now I 31 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 1: just kind of like volunteer all the time and I 32 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:19,679 Speaker 1: hang out all. 33 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 2: My friends are Turkish. Yeah. 34 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,319 Speaker 1: So last week I was tasked to pick up an 35 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 1: older woman flying in from Turkey as she was the 36 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 1: guest of Grandma. 37 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 2: Turkish Grandma, I'm knocked white. 38 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,119 Speaker 1: I was tasked with picking up an older woman flying 39 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,400 Speaker 1: in from Turkey as she was the guest of honor 40 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 1: at a fundraiser they were having. Man bro Op is 41 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 1: just like they're giving him like the most important tasks. 42 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:42,880 Speaker 1: I feel like they're like, I feel like they're giving 43 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: him he's giving they're giving him the right of passage 44 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: over here. Pretty cool transport the Queen of Turkey, and 45 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:52,080 Speaker 1: then you will become Turkish. I was told she knew 46 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: little to know English and I wasn't the first choice 47 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: to go get her. I was the only one available, 48 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 1: seeing as everyone else had bigger and better job to do. Okay, 49 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 1: so maybe op is just the bottom of the tote bowl. 50 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 1: He's like, oh, we don't gut any well, so let's 51 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 1: get this fucking idiot to second white boy man. 52 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 53 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 1: They gave me a sign with her surname on it, 54 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,560 Speaker 1: her flight number, and a general description of what she 55 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 1: looks like. Whiteboard in hand and a little hesitant, I 56 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: set off to the airport, ready to get my cargo. 57 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 2: What's the description? Turkish woman? 58 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: Old English, little to know English. Those are what we're 59 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 1: going on. I pull up to the international gate and 60 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:38,680 Speaker 1: immediately I see an Eastern European woman standing all alone. 61 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 1: I get out with my sign that says Demeir her 62 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 1: last name, and she smiles with great joy, points at 63 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,960 Speaker 1: the sign and then points at herself. Without hesitation. She 64 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: starts loading her bags in the car and hopton that 65 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 1: seems very clear. I mean, they're like, it's me, it's 66 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 1: last name. 67 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 2: Check Eastern European, check, not much English. Check. Couldn't believe 68 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 2: my luck. 69 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 1: I had instantly found the right person, and the story 70 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 1: is over and nothing bad happens. 71 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 3: Ah, No, this is reddities and gentleman that's this is 72 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,399 Speaker 3: not how that goes down. 73 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,760 Speaker 1: I pulled up to the airport and immediately head in 74 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: the direction of a Turkish center with my passenger all 75 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 1: buckled up and ready for a thirty five minute drive. 76 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:26,240 Speaker 1: But about fifteen minutes into the drive, she pulls out 77 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,760 Speaker 1: her phone and begins to rustle around. 78 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:30,079 Speaker 2: What's she doing. 79 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,680 Speaker 3: She's just texting her family, she text a fan, She's 80 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 3: just playing for Ninja. 81 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 1: Then she calls someone and starts frantically speaking in Turkish. 82 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 2: What's going on? Sounds like she's Turkish. What's going on? 83 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 2: It sounds like he's got the right person. 84 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,920 Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, but but like frantically though it's not 85 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: like I know some languages like Germans, sounds like you're 86 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,680 Speaker 1: always angry. 87 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 3: Yeah I know, but like they're just saying like yo, 88 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 3: like you know, but imagine you're. 89 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 1: Like please, I'm in the wrong car on my way 90 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: to be a fascinated. Someone would probably sense the energy, 91 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: like the catch a vibe. I'm thinking she left something 92 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: on the plane or at home or something like that. 93 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: I felt bad, but I couldn't do anything about it 94 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: at the time. I was driving on the freeway. Ten 95 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 1: minutes later, I'm off the freeway and a cop passes by. 96 00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:20,720 Speaker 1: He immediately turns around, flips his lights on, and I 97 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:24,000 Speaker 1: pull over. At this point, I am freaking out. And 98 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 1: when I turn around, I see the lady has Uber 99 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:31,679 Speaker 1: out and upon further inspection, I'm not the Uber driver. 100 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:39,040 Speaker 4: Oh, upon further expection, I'm not the Uber, which is 101 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 4: like you were never the Uber driver to begin with, 102 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 4: which I guess is like sarcastically. 103 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 2: What is trying to say? 104 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, they're like, why did she point to the side 105 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 3: and point to her I mean, we'll see it. We'll 106 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 3: be's a common last name or something. 107 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll see, We'll see. 108 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 1: The cops tell me to get the earth out, and 109 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,600 Speaker 1: I'm taken down very fast by a plethora of cost 110 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:03,159 Speaker 1: take down. Taken down like literally thrown on the ground 111 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:06,839 Speaker 1: by a multitude of cops. I'm handcuffed and put in 112 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 1: the back of a squad car with literally zero information. 113 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 1: No he can you imagine someone pulls you over, no context, 114 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 1: like no, Miranda writes nothing, throw you down, throw cuffs 115 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:19,839 Speaker 1: on you, and just put you in the back. 116 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,600 Speaker 2: Of the car. And you're just like, this is America, 117 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:26,160 Speaker 2: Like what is what is happening? Literally? What is happening. 118 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:29,159 Speaker 1: My head hurts from being slammed against the ground, and 119 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 1: I'm now fully aware of the kidnapping situation that I'm in. 120 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: About after fifteen minutes of the lady screaming in Turkish 121 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: to the police and other cars arriving, an officer opens 122 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: a door and asks me my story. I ask him 123 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: to use my phone to contact the Turkish Center and 124 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 1: the lead woman comes down to explain what happened. Little 125 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:53,280 Speaker 1: did I know Demir is one of the most common 126 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 1: all of Turkey. I freaking called it. I did not 127 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: predict that that was good stuff. So when the lady 128 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,600 Speaker 1: I was transporting on her first trip to America mind you, 129 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,920 Speaker 1: sees that I have her name, she figures I'm the 130 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 1: Uber driver just ready there to pick her up. 131 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 2: She's just like, yeah, maybe there's no Uber in Turkey. 132 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 2: I don't know. She didn't check the license plate. You're 133 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,359 Speaker 2: the guy. No no, no, no, no no no. 134 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,160 Speaker 1: She knows how to use Google Maps and saw we 135 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:22,720 Speaker 1: were headed in the opposite direction of her intended destination. 136 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 1: My heart is still going ten thousand beats a minute 137 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:29,560 Speaker 1: while another car with a friend from the Center and 138 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:33,919 Speaker 1: what would be the real demrr pulls off. She's probably 139 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 1: like this guy just like didn't show up, Like what 140 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:38,279 Speaker 1: an asshole. 141 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,360 Speaker 2: Meanwhile, he's being like thrown to the ground. 142 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: Yeah this community, yeah actually though putting his life on 143 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 1: the line. After a discussion that I'm not a part 144 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 1: of takes place, the cops get me out of the 145 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:57,160 Speaker 1: car unhandcuffed me, and everyone, including the kidnapped woman, seemed 146 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: to be laughing except me. 147 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:04,359 Speaker 2: I wouldn't be laughing. No, you got slammed, can we not? 148 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, give me some money, give me some more food, 149 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 3: actually some Turkish grama, give me some food, bro, like 150 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 3: something that's how a Google translate. 151 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 1: Yo, that's a good bro. If you can use Google Maps, 152 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 1: you can use Google trands. I'm sorry, like you can 153 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 1: you can? You have the wherewithal to maybe search on 154 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:26,000 Speaker 1: Google for Google for translate. You know, I am in 155 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: disbelief as to what just happened, and I definitely sweated 156 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:31,239 Speaker 1: through my entire outfit. 157 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 2: Bro, this poor guy, Like and also why is. 158 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 3: The Turkish grandma's first thing to be like this man's 159 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 3: kidnapping me? 160 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 2: Like it could be the wrong drive. 161 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 1: Also also good point because she knows that Demir is 162 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 1: a common last name. Yeah, so like like why not 163 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 1: just like try to ask him something or yeah, some 164 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 1: sort of like if I was in the wrong country, 165 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: going in the wrong way, even if I was old 166 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 1: didn't know how to use technology, I would be like 167 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 1: tap the driver and it would be like hey, like 168 00:07:58,800 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: on Google Maps. 169 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 2: Like yeah, like this is where away. Yeah. 170 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 1: We get back to the Turkish Center and the story 171 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: spread like wildfire. Everyone comes up to me with a hug, 172 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:08,640 Speaker 1: a laugh, and a drink. 173 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 2: I got drunk. 174 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,679 Speaker 3: Drunk, hey, at least at least it uh took away 175 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 3: the headache for a little bit. 176 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 1: Or added another one. Potentially it delayed that delayed the headache. 177 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 2: It delayed the headache.