1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:05,319 Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of Our Heart Radio Hellozarin. 2 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:09,239 Speaker 1: Who are you? My name is Elizabeth Dutton. Nice to 3 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,719 Speaker 1: meet you, Elizabeth Duton. My name is Elizabeth Dutton. That's weird. 4 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,600 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, I'm sorry reading the wrong lines. Hi, 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 1: I'm Szaron Burnett. You know it's ridiculous. What's ridiculous? Like that? 6 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:25,599 Speaker 1: That was ridiculous? Now and all, honestly, I have something 7 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 1: for you. You ready? In Kentucky since eight forty nine, 8 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 1: every single legislator, public officer, and lawyer must take an 9 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,199 Speaker 1: oath stating the same thing, all of them. You know 10 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 1: what the oath is about. You'll never guess it. No 11 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 1: one ever would have guess it. I have. They have 12 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 1: to say these words quote, I have not fought a 13 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,880 Speaker 1: duel with deadly weapons within the state or not out 14 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 1: of it, So help me God. They have to take 15 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: I've never dueled oath. I think everyone may have to 16 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 1: do that. That's a Are you kidding? No, I'm totally kidding. 17 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 1: Only can be a bit and it's ridiculous. You want 18 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 1: to know what else is stupid and ridiculous? Oh? I 19 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: love stupid and ridiculous air rage? Air rage? Oh like 20 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:11,240 Speaker 1: like fighting on a plane. Yeah, air rage, I'll enunciate 21 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 1: like air raids. I was like, I don't think the 22 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: English would agree. They would think it's stupid. Yeah, air 23 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 1: rage ridiculous. Let me tell you about something. Hit me 24 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:42,559 Speaker 1: with it. This is a ridiculous crime. A podcast about 25 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 1: absurd and outrageous capers, heists and cons. It's always murder 26 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 1: free and one ridiculous. You like air travel, right, Saron? Yeah, 27 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: as long as I'm to get to be the one 28 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: who flies the plane. Not kidding. I love air travel. 29 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 1: What's your air travel protocol? Like, lially, do you get 30 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 1: to the airport, check bags? Do you sleep on the plane? 31 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 1: Do you drink on the flights? Oh? Man? Like my 32 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 1: real protocol? Okay, So if I'm being honest, I show 33 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 1: up in a rush, most likely because I'm cutting it 34 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 1: close because I don't want to hang out at the 35 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,079 Speaker 1: airport too long. And so then I get there basically 36 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:20,919 Speaker 1: where I'm not quite running. I got I'm not, you know, 37 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 1: not racing through the airport because that makes people nervous 38 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 1: these days, so I'm just shy of that. And then 39 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 1: I get to like the baggage place, and I'm like 40 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 1: hoping the people in front of me, aren't like really 41 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,800 Speaker 1: slow like I am. I'm like, please don't be like me, 42 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,359 Speaker 1: Please don't be like me. And then I get out 43 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,839 Speaker 1: and then I have to pull out like three laptops 44 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 1: out of my bag, take my shoes off. I've forgotten 45 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,080 Speaker 1: things in my pocket. I'm walking around with magnets in 46 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 1: my back pocket, and I'm like all right, and then 47 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,960 Speaker 1: I have this moment of like I'm a jerk and 48 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: of course like and something that's completely predictable. And then 49 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:47,520 Speaker 1: finally get all that done. Then I go and I 50 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,799 Speaker 1: wait and I'm like, wait, which like places? I don't 51 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: know which gate I'm at. I forgot I remembered that earlier. 52 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,440 Speaker 1: Then I get to the gate and I'm like they're boarding, 53 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: and I'm like oh. And then I get on the 54 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,959 Speaker 1: plane and if it's like you know, like a Southwest flight, 55 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,680 Speaker 1: we get to pick your seats. I know, no matter 56 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,280 Speaker 1: even if I'm late, no one's gonna sit next to me. 57 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:03,800 Speaker 1: I get like the little casual racism buffer and I'm 58 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,680 Speaker 1: just seating, and so then I just show up and 59 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: I just wait for the wait like you know, the waitress. 60 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 1: I'm like, what am I in a bar with the 61 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 1: waitress to come around with a drink tray. No, just 62 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: wait for them to come around, and then I'm like, Okay. 63 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 1: Before COVID, I'd be like, let's go with the Heineken 64 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 1: or a beer or something. And otherwise now I'm just 65 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 1: like I just signal like I basically dragged my fingers 66 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 1: across my throat like nothing, I'm good. And then I 67 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 1: don't say anything for six hours and I get off 68 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 1: the plane. That is stressing me out just listening to right. Yeah, 69 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 1: I'm like an air rage incident waiting to happen, either 70 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:34,000 Speaker 1: from somebody interacting with me or just like you know, 71 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 1: me really pushing someone over their edge. Okay, Yeah, I'm 72 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,160 Speaker 1: the opposite as you could imagine what your routine seems 73 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 1: kind of chill. Oh. I get to the airport very early, 74 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: like the day before, like a week ahead of time. 75 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 1: Camp out. No. I like to give myself the allotted 76 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 1: amount of time, and if I'm checking a bag especially, 77 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 1: I want to make sure I get there. And then 78 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 1: I don't like standing in the security line and knowing 79 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 1: that my flight is about to board the best No, no, no. 80 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 1: Most of what I do in life is try and 81 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 1: make things as chill and relaxed as possible. How's that 82 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 1: working out? Awesome? Because like, there's an intersection by my house, 83 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,839 Speaker 1: it's a total pain to navigate. If I want to 84 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 1: get I have to cross all these lanes of traffic 85 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: with no no light or stop sign in order to 86 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: get to the freeway intersection. And it would's right by 87 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:29,480 Speaker 1: my house. I go up and over a block so 88 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,360 Speaker 1: that I can have like a chill way to get 89 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 1: there and not be stressed out trying to So you 90 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:36,800 Speaker 1: don't take my approach of embraced the chaos, No, avoid 91 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:39,359 Speaker 1: the chaos. That's me. You're like, I can navigate around 92 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,719 Speaker 1: this and can make a little pathway. I get to 93 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:45,799 Speaker 1: the airport with plenty of time. I don't mind hanging 94 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: out at the gate and listening in on people's conversations. 95 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,200 Speaker 1: I once had an ex girlfriend make a plane get 96 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 1: turned around on the tarmac. She she made such a 97 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: scene that they turned the plane around the tarmat and 98 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: came back to pick her up. She was just a 99 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 1: princess and she's really good at it. And they responded appropriately, Yeah, 100 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:07,720 Speaker 1: that that's kind of where we're going today. Um, you know, 101 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 1: I think that the stress of air travel. For me, 102 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 1: it's sort of stress. I'm not afraid of flying, but 103 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: there are just so many components and so many outside 104 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 1: things that I can't control. So I want to be 105 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 1: able to do the most that I can to again 106 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 1: maintain chill. Uh plus. When you combine that, like you're 107 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,880 Speaker 1: saying with the princess, with this sense of entitlement, people 108 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: freak out. People. I want to tell you about an 109 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:36,920 Speaker 1: epic freak out, an absolutely ridiculous case of air rage. Alright, 110 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 1: close your eyes and we're gonna do another one of 111 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:50,480 Speaker 1: my imagination experiments for you. It's October. Let's say that 112 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,840 Speaker 1: maybe you're the chair of like the astronomy department at 113 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 1: Yale or something. And look at you, look at what 114 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 1: you've done. You know you're a little sad about the 115 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 1: death of Jerry Garcia just two months earlier, because I 116 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 1: guess you're a deadhead. And where are you in October? 117 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 1: I don't know where am i Buenos Aires, Argentina. Look 118 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 1: at me. You just gave a talk at the Galileo 119 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:22,120 Speaker 1: galile Planetarium. You totally killed that man. Good job, dude, 120 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 1: High five up, high, high five, a high downlow. You've 121 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 1: had a wonderful time in this totally beautiful city, right 122 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,839 Speaker 1: the Paris of South America. You're able to build in 123 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,119 Speaker 1: a couple of days on either end of your talk 124 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: for sight seeing in your trip, folks at the Planetarium 125 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:45,800 Speaker 1: and the University of Buenos Aires. They have been marvelous, 126 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 1: just lovely. You ate it, fantastic restaurants. You explored the 127 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 1: city like a local thanks to all of your academic 128 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 1: scientist friends life. Oh my gosh, you learned to tango. 129 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 1: It's been a wonder a full trip. So you get 130 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,000 Speaker 1: up on the morning of October nineteenth and you pack 131 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:10,440 Speaker 1: your bags. You're carefully folding your pleaated dockers so that 132 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 1: they don't get messed up route. You check out your hotel. 133 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:19,119 Speaker 1: I mean you're like an astronomy. I'm working with it. Yeah. 134 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: If you check out of the hotel, you hop in 135 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 1: a cab and you head to the airport. As you're 136 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: driving in the cab, you like have your head leaning 137 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 1: against the passenger window in the back. My independent movie moment. 138 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you're listening to like singer songwriter stuff on 139 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 1: your c D. Walkman, you're staring wistfully out of the 140 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 1: taxi window and your taxi is overtaken by a motor case. 141 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 1: They just go alwan by you a series of black 142 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: town cars, cops on motorcycles. This is so exciting. What 143 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:56,680 Speaker 1: a city. You say to yourself, good lord. You get 144 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 1: to the airport is a huge concourse. This place is 145 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 1: in norm us. You head through the metal detectors, make 146 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 1: your way to the gate. Now, for whatever reason, you're 147 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 1: flying first class. I've back to New York's JFK. You know, 148 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 1: it's a long flight. I don't know how you how 149 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 1: you pulled this off because I don't know. Maybe you 150 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,280 Speaker 1: make a lot of money with what you're doing. Maybe 151 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 1: you stole airline miles. I don't I don't know how 152 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 1: you live hot telescopes on the black market. Yeah, exactly, 153 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 1: that's your side, gig So, but before boarding begins, you 154 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,200 Speaker 1: see this whole giant group of these men in dark 155 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 1: suits and they're making their way to a roped off 156 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:36,200 Speaker 1: area near the gate. And you asked the gate agent 157 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 1: and completely impeccable Spanish somebody m hmm. Voice is really weird. 158 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,440 Speaker 1: It's kind of melodic in that like computerized way. You 159 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:55,199 Speaker 1: said you asked them, excuse me, brilliant sky wizard, who 160 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:59,040 Speaker 1: are those men. So the agent explains to you that 161 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,600 Speaker 1: they're diplomat, but you can't tell you more than that. 162 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,640 Speaker 1: You're clever, you know what to do. You pull a 163 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:08,439 Speaker 1: bag of Eminem's from the front pocket inside your blazer. 164 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:12,080 Speaker 1: Always my answer, Yeah, I mean, I'm probably gonna pull chocolate. 165 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 1: But as you do this, it reveals that you're wearing 166 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 1: a Shambra shirt with tweetye and Sylvester embroidered on the 167 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:24,400 Speaker 1: breast pocket. Baby yeah, me and h You dangle the 168 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 1: candies seductively in front of the gate agent. You ask 169 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,679 Speaker 1: her to tell you more. Tell you I'm tempting people. 170 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,440 Speaker 1: Tell you who those men are. She looks at the 171 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,679 Speaker 1: bag of Eminem's, She looks at the Looney Tunes characters 172 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 1: stitched on your shirt. You can't help herself, so she 173 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 1: spills the beans and tells you that the President of Portugal, 174 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 1: Mario Sourus and Argentinian Foreign Minister Guido di Tella are 175 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,199 Speaker 1: flying with you to New York, where they're going to 176 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: be attending the fiftieth anniversary celebrations for the United Nations. 177 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:58,880 Speaker 1: What a life, what a city? Oh my goodness. You 178 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 1: tear open the bag of handies. The gate agent just 179 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 1: like tilts her head back and opens her mouth expectedly. 180 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,560 Speaker 1: So I'm now in a renaissance pain tang of pleasure off. 181 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,120 Speaker 1: The two of you make eye contact as you pour 182 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,840 Speaker 1: the contents of the bag into your own gaping mom 183 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 1: just filling it beyond capacity. You chew the candies with 184 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 1: your mouth open, sugary multicolored chocolate jeol running down the 185 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:28,800 Speaker 1: corner of your mouth, down your chin, stay staining, tweetie, 186 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:34,199 Speaker 1: who's standing in like that sassy stance? Hands, She says, 187 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:38,440 Speaker 1: well played, before lifting the intercom microphone and announcing that 188 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 1: boarding is beginning for first class passengers. Hey, that's me. 189 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:46,560 Speaker 1: You're in that moment right now. Um, how did you 190 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,320 Speaker 1: sudden think it's so frisky? I born this way? Did 191 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,160 Speaker 1: the passion of the Argentinian tango go to your head? 192 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:55,200 Speaker 1: It probably did help. You're you're pondering this new you, 193 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 1: and a man shoves by you on his way to 194 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 1: boarding the plane. Yeah, he's wearing a ridiculously expensive suit. 195 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:07,320 Speaker 1: He's already intoxicated. So it's other me, it's your it's 196 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 1: your dooppelganger. He rummages around for his boarding pass, and 197 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 1: you just like slip by and board the plane because 198 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:15,640 Speaker 1: you're smooth. You still got like eminem stuff all over 199 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 1: your face, but it was worth it. You take your seat. 200 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,440 Speaker 1: You like your these seats fully recline into little beds 201 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 1: in first class on this kind of long hall seven 202 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 1: sixty seven or whatever it is. You're gonna recline in 203 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,559 Speaker 1: luxury and it does off. You're gonna watch a movie 204 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,560 Speaker 1: being a magazine shop from skymall. Maybe get yourself like 205 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 1: a giant sarcophagus for the corner of your house. You 206 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 1: know what, you know how skymall goes. My house needs 207 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:46,840 Speaker 1: a new decoration. Get a couple. You're gonna order like 208 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 1: twelve head of sarcopha. You're like still reeling from the 209 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,480 Speaker 1: joy of that speech and the dinners and the music 210 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,800 Speaker 1: and the interlude with that gait agent. What a trip, 211 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 1: What a life, best life ever? And then you notice 212 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,719 Speaker 1: that man in the fancy suit from the gate is 213 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: actually seated behind you, sipping on some champagne before taken off. 214 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 1: It's first class. That's what you do. Dreams that glass 215 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:13,160 Speaker 1: pounds it asked for another. He's loud, He's like really loud. 216 00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:18,760 Speaker 1: So everyone is boarded, and then the diplomats breeze to 217 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 1: their seats in first and they settle in flight attendants 218 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 1: for like getting ready to taxi take off, and the 219 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 1: fancy suit guy behind you asked for more champagne. Totally denied, 220 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,280 Speaker 1: didn't know that. He yells that cut you off before 221 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:40,200 Speaker 1: you well, if you've been pounding glasses of champers and 222 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,439 Speaker 1: and so he's just like, if you fly first class 223 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:45,120 Speaker 1: to Hawaii, by the way, they give you the option 224 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:53,080 Speaker 1: of champagne or pog that is it, pog pineapple orange? Yeah. Yeah, 225 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 1: So on this one though, they're like champagne only, or 226 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:57,839 Speaker 1: maybe it'll give you like a little sip of water. 227 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,160 Speaker 1: So he's like, I want champagne. They cut him off 228 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,200 Speaker 1: because he's just had way too much tequila. Yeah, well no, 229 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 1: And so he's just like he's a master of the universe. 230 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:08,959 Speaker 1: He's like Gordon Geck. He gets up tries to pour 231 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,240 Speaker 1: himself a glass of champagne from an empty bottle on 232 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 1: the beverage cart. I don't think even you can do 233 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:14,679 Speaker 1: that in first class. I don't think you can get 234 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 1: champagne out of an empty bottle. Oh right, there's that 235 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:23,079 Speaker 1: part too. So he gets reprimanded. So they start yelling 236 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,680 Speaker 1: at him sit down, and he manages to like then 237 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 1: make his way up to the galley, where he pours 238 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:31,000 Speaker 1: himself a glass of champagne and then snaps up two 239 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 1: pre poured glasses for good measures. So he's got three 240 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 1: glasses of champagne, makes his way to his seat. They're 241 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 1: doing their best, the flight crew to say, like the 242 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:43,320 Speaker 1: professional be kind, but their patience is tested. You have 243 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: a bad feeling about this guy. I'm like that, yeah, 244 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 1: and as well you should don't call me psychic. His 245 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 1: name is Gerard Jerry Finneran, not old dirty Jerry Finneran. Yeah, 246 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:58,000 Speaker 1: he's fifty eight years old. He lives in a palatial 247 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,600 Speaker 1: estate in Greenwich, Connecticut. I can tell for with the behavior. 248 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,439 Speaker 1: He's the president of Trust Company of the West. It's 249 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:06,320 Speaker 1: an investment fund worth more than a fifty million dollars. 250 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 1: They're focused on Third World debt. And he's also the 251 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,360 Speaker 1: co manager of a private equity firm called the Argentine 252 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:18,439 Speaker 1: Investment Company. So the big money mining or whatever. Sure, 253 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just got a ton of cash. Um. 254 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: But most importantly he's about to get completely ridiculous, about 255 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,840 Speaker 1: to get this is nothing. I'm gonna let you savor 256 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,960 Speaker 1: the last bits of your dream trip to Buenos Aires 257 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,560 Speaker 1: while we hear some ads, and when we get back, 258 00:14:35,840 --> 00:15:00,120 Speaker 1: we're going to redefine bad flight behavior. All right. So 259 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 1: there you are, flying first class from Buenos Aires to 260 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:07,560 Speaker 1: New York City. Yeah, look at you. What a life. 261 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,960 Speaker 1: You've had a lovely trip so far. Everything has been perfect, 262 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 1: but things are starting to go a little sideways. The 263 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 1: guy behind you, I mean dirty Jerry Finner, Jerry Finneran. 264 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:22,360 Speaker 1: He's already on one. He's been guzzling champagne loudly declaring 265 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,600 Speaker 1: his need for more. It's not a want, it's a 266 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 1: need for him. At this point, the plane still on 267 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:31,760 Speaker 1: the ground. We have not left the ground. He's already 268 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:35,160 Speaker 1: overserved himself, refused to sit in his seat. It's been 269 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,240 Speaker 1: picking fights with the flight crew and people having to 270 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,240 Speaker 1: walk past him to get on the plane. I mean, 271 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:44,360 Speaker 1: like everyone. Yeah, I would guess everyone a legitimate question 272 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:48,360 Speaker 1: because I found out what kind of airplane this was 273 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 1: a Big One is the official name. It's an airplane, 274 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 1: Big One, the buying big in. I think it's like 275 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,080 Speaker 1: a seven sixties seven, but I may be a little 276 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 1: bit off on one of those numbers because maybe people 277 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,440 Speaker 1: something that they're coming in and making the right turn. Yeah, 278 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 1: in the moment, I looked it up, and it looks 279 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:09,120 Speaker 1: like for United, they come on the plane, make a 280 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,520 Speaker 1: right turn, walk through first to get to business and 281 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: then to coach. So interesting, so they do. And it 282 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:18,560 Speaker 1: looks like maybe on Delta they got on in between 283 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 1: first and business and yeah and so. But I don't know. 284 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,200 Speaker 1: But let's say everyone has to cruise through there. Well, 285 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 1: it makes more sense that they have to get on 286 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 1: between First in business. That's what I am. So he's like, 287 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 1: he's just causing a ruckus won't sit plane still sitting there. Um, 288 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,920 Speaker 1: most people would have gotten the boot from the plane 289 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 1: by now, because it hasn't even left. I would have 290 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,280 Speaker 1: been given the boot twice, right at least I think 291 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,840 Speaker 1: the people in coach would have kicked me off this 292 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:50,320 Speaker 1: flight in any subsequent flights. You're total. That's a ban 293 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,200 Speaker 1: right there that I would just picked into jail. That's 294 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:57,680 Speaker 1: so the plane takes off at long last, you're perusing 295 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 1: your copy of Entertainment Weekly you picked up before you 296 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 1: left for the trip. Got to catch up with my guy. Yeah, 297 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,880 Speaker 1: you'd like shoved it in your attache case and forgotten 298 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 1: about it? What has ed Norton done lately? No, you're 299 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:11,200 Speaker 1: reading the cover story about David Duchovny. He's touted as 300 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 1: the X files hottest UFO, and UFO there stands for 301 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:21,119 Speaker 1: Unlikely Fantasy object, you know. So you're just tisk tiss. 302 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,440 Speaker 1: You're flipping through and you hear finnering behind you. Ask 303 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,719 Speaker 1: for a glass of red wine. Bro that won't go well. 304 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:30,520 Speaker 1: You can't switch from white dread like Cannon's goodness. So, 305 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:34,080 Speaker 1: after all his like pre flight antics, you're kind of 306 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 1: surprised that they're giving him any alcohol at all. I 307 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,399 Speaker 1: was surprising to the conscious. But go on, he downs 308 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,200 Speaker 1: that glass of red that they bring him and ask 309 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,639 Speaker 1: for another one. They bring him the wine. Yeah, he 310 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:48,640 Speaker 1: slams the second one, and it's like bar keeping more. 311 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 1: Do you have a wine ball? Once again? He wants 312 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:56,160 Speaker 1: a wine gravity bud, and the flight attendants just keeps 313 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,960 Speaker 1: stalling from having to deal with him. It's just kind 314 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 1: of like he's a lank space. At some point, he's undeterred, right, 315 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:06,080 Speaker 1: He gets up, cruises over to the galley and decides 316 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,639 Speaker 1: to pour himself some more red wines. Yeah, he's like 317 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,320 Speaker 1: no worries. I got this um. One of the flight 318 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,840 Speaker 1: attendants catches him doing this and tries to stop him, 319 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,439 Speaker 1: but he grabs the bottle, heads back to his seat, 320 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:22,320 Speaker 1: puts the bottle between his legs, effectively preventing the flight 321 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,639 Speaker 1: attendants from taking it back. Okay, so he's got it, 322 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 1: like yeah, he's making mold crotch wine because it's warming. 323 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,400 Speaker 1: Then he just got it gets like a he got 324 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:37,240 Speaker 1: he got himself a huge silly straw. It's like swirling round. 325 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,760 Speaker 1: So the flight attendants asked their supervisor, can we cut 326 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 1: this guy off? Which, come on, make the executive decision 327 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 1: yourself and cut him off. But they went to the supervisor, 328 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,840 Speaker 1: and so then one of the male flight attendants is 329 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,840 Speaker 1: sent over and they tell him to cool out. There's 330 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:55,400 Speaker 1: just like in the most flight attendant phrasing ever. They say, sir, 331 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:59,120 Speaker 1: we're going to need to take a little break from drinking. Now, Well, 332 00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:01,439 Speaker 1: thank you, Stephen, I'm gonna need you to go ahead 333 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:06,040 Speaker 1: and cap on it. This flips the switch finneran goes 334 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:09,439 Speaker 1: into an absolute rage air rage. Wait wait a minute, 335 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,320 Speaker 1: So just because somebody says we're gonna need you to 336 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:16,960 Speaker 1: take a little drinking he's like he hulks out, so 337 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,960 Speaker 1: he like chases the attendant into the galley and he's 338 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:26,080 Speaker 1: just screaming, I want your name. I'm gonna bust your ass. 339 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:29,200 Speaker 1: He I just like to imagine that this is delivered though, 340 00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 1: like Quirky st Clair from one of my favorite films 341 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 1: of all time, Waiting for Guffman. But then again, I 342 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,640 Speaker 1: like to hear everything in my head as if it's 343 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,919 Speaker 1: said by Quirky st Clair Christopher Guest character. Yeah, he 344 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,560 Speaker 1: says like it's his end thing like how many babies 345 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:47,080 Speaker 1: fitting a tire? Or my favorite was like me, you know, 346 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,280 Speaker 1: right out of the Navy, you know, fresh off the 347 00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:55,440 Speaker 1: destroyer with a dance belt in the tuba chapstick that 348 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:59,119 Speaker 1: and Parker Posey fanning the one chicken wing on the 349 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:03,159 Speaker 1: barbecue is those are like my favorite things in the world. Anyway, 350 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,560 Speaker 1: Finnerman is going to bust a guy's ass, he says. 351 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,479 Speaker 1: And so at this point, the flight supervisor steps in 352 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,280 Speaker 1: and tries to calm things down. He's successful. He's kind 353 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,000 Speaker 1: of like, I don't know what they say. Leans in 354 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:18,720 Speaker 1: You're trying to listen, professor, You're like, what are they? 355 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:23,480 Speaker 1: And Finneran goes back to his seat. The cabin goes quiet. Finally, 356 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:26,800 Speaker 1: me and my cotton dockers can relax. Oh, you just exhale, 357 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,280 Speaker 1: and you just start one by one taking peanuts out 358 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,639 Speaker 1: of a bag, and you're like licking your fingers because 359 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,560 Speaker 1: by one putting him on little tray and lining them. 360 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:43,359 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and then snorting him crushed peanuts. What's going on? 361 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,000 Speaker 1: You're just still riding the high of the Buenos sorry 362 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:52,199 Speaker 1: strip venerand doesn't want the party to stop, obviously, so 363 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,679 Speaker 1: he gets up again and approaches a flight attendant and 364 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,399 Speaker 1: he demands a drink, and she tells him, you know what, 365 00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,879 Speaker 1: You're cut off, dude, You're cut off. Go back to 366 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 1: your scene. So in this like choose your own adventure. 367 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:05,560 Speaker 1: Do you take a beat think about what you've done. 368 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,720 Speaker 1: I decided to go back sober up, you know, in 369 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:13,480 Speaker 1: your little first class seating pod. Not if you're puts 370 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,919 Speaker 1: his hands on the woman's chest and just shoves her 371 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,720 Speaker 1: into a seat. She goes flying back like a full 372 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,680 Speaker 1: on boob press and pushes her back the as totally offense. Yeah, 373 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,159 Speaker 1: I wish it was like a chest butt. He just 374 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,960 Speaker 1: shoves her with it and she goes flying back. I'm 375 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,360 Speaker 1: trying not to laugh. You go ahead, It's okay, we're 376 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:34,760 Speaker 1: all friends here. So Finneran like he shoves her. This 377 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:39,639 Speaker 1: turns into it. Everything he starts going berserk. He's losing it. 378 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,360 Speaker 1: He heads again to the galley, to the drink's cart. 379 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,840 Speaker 1: There's this complete rucus. Everything breaks into chaos because Finneran 380 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,400 Speaker 1: didn't just stumble up there and pour himself another drink. 381 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:53,520 Speaker 1: He climbs onto the cart. Now those carts aren't really huge, 382 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:58,360 Speaker 1: and they're already like a little bit top heavy, right move, 383 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,160 Speaker 1: but like finner in his safety's enemy at this point, 384 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 1: and like a tipping cart is the absolute least of 385 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 1: our worries. He's standing on the cart, he's yelling, and 386 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:12,520 Speaker 1: then he pulls down his pants and he squats down 387 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 1: and he one takes a giant dump on the drink's cart, 388 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:23,359 Speaker 1: just just a big old steamer on the drink's cart. 389 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:27,960 Speaker 1: People start losing it, they are losing it. So he's 390 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,959 Speaker 1: still on the cart. When he reaches down, he grabs 391 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,920 Speaker 1: some like cloth napkins, and he wipes himself in front 392 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:39,800 Speaker 1: of the President of Portugal and like so he's just 393 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 1: like taking a napkin wiping, tossing it. He steps in 394 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,800 Speaker 1: his own crap as he jumps off the cart, and 395 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 1: then he starts making his way towards the toilets, and 396 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,080 Speaker 1: like he started like wiping the soiled napkins on the 397 00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 1: walls of the plane as he walked, and I like 398 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:57,720 Speaker 1: to imagine it like he's doing it like a very 399 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:01,959 Speaker 1: Jim Morrison of the Hampton's blinky swagger as he's going along, 400 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:06,000 Speaker 1: and like his pants are kind of like half done. Um, 401 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 1: he tracks Dodo all over the cabin and he wipes 402 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,919 Speaker 1: it on the walls and the seats before locking himself 403 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:16,719 Speaker 1: in the bathroom. So you know, you know he wrecked 404 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:20,520 Speaker 1: shop in the bathroom as well. That laboratory, he was 405 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:26,679 Speaker 1: just blowing mud throwing rope. So he pops out of 406 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:30,840 Speaker 1: one bathroom that he's in and ducks into another, perhaps 407 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,640 Speaker 1: just like to be able to decimate both of them. 408 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,040 Speaker 1: I had no idea how dirty dirty Jerry was Jerry. 409 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 1: So at this point, like food service is about to start, 410 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,720 Speaker 1: well it should have been starting, that's why the cart 411 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:46,960 Speaker 1: was out, but there's coca everywhere. I'm having a really 412 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,680 Speaker 1: good time thinking of all the synonyms. So Fitner and 413 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,200 Speaker 1: he's locked in the laboratory and there's not going to 414 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,639 Speaker 1: be any dinner because we've got like a hazmat situation 415 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:59,040 Speaker 1: going on. And so the pilots realized, we have to 416 00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:03,280 Speaker 1: land this plane, like this is ridiculous. The closest airport 417 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,520 Speaker 1: is San Juan, Puerto Rico. Oh wow, okay, so there's 418 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,960 Speaker 1: over the Caribbean. Yeah, they're over the Caribbean. And so 419 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:14,239 Speaker 1: they radio to San Juan and San Juan turns him away, like, bro, 420 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,880 Speaker 1: he got to take that stuff elsewhere? Did the wise 421 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,399 Speaker 1: Puerto Ricans just not want anything to do with this 422 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 1: literal sh show. No. Turns out that they couldn't land 423 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 1: the plane there because of the dignitaries on board. Yeah, 424 00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:32,000 Speaker 1: it's like an unscheduled stop would be a huge security risk, 425 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:36,720 Speaker 1: and the State Department has protocols for board diplomats boarding 426 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,320 Speaker 1: and landing at US airports, and they didn't really have 427 00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:42,160 Speaker 1: anything in place for that at that point because it's unscheduled. 428 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:49,360 Speaker 1: So the poop plane flies on, continues on and Finnerman Finnerman. 429 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:54,480 Speaker 1: Eventually his traveling companion slash colleague someone is with him. 430 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:58,439 Speaker 1: He's not traveling by himself. Someone is sitting next to him, like, yeah, bro, 431 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:05,640 Speaker 1: you gotta children ahead. A lady who works with him manages, 432 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 1: She manages to help the flight crew to jimmy the 433 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:12,400 Speaker 1: lock on the bathroom and coax him out. And at 434 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 1: this point dude is covered in feces. No no, no, 435 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,800 Speaker 1: he stripped down, and the galpa takes him back to 436 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,280 Speaker 1: his seat and the two of them snuggled together and 437 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 1: go to sleep. What yeah, my record scratched in my head. 438 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,200 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. What she nuzzles up to a man covered 439 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:36,960 Speaker 1: in his own dropping and there are still four hours 440 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,720 Speaker 1: left on this flight? Four hours? Is it wrong of 441 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,040 Speaker 1: me to assume that they were more than work associates? 442 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,440 Speaker 1: I don't know you. How are you going to cozy 443 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,400 Speaker 1: up to your colleague who's got feces all over him 444 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,800 Speaker 1: and be like, I'm just going to help him get settled. 445 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:54,080 Speaker 1: You're in the cabin, professor, don't you dare trying to 446 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 1: escape his imagination exercise. You know, it's straight up reeks 447 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 1: and and so the flight crew could only like they 448 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,720 Speaker 1: throw a blanket over him and his companion and just 449 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,800 Speaker 1: hope for the best. How much is the first class 450 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 1: ticket over the respect? What is it thousand dollars world, 451 00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:13,800 Speaker 1: that's a really good a thousand dollar invest But here's 452 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,879 Speaker 1: my absolute favorite detail of this that it smelled so 453 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:20,840 Speaker 1: bad in the cabin, like what do you think he'd 454 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:25,359 Speaker 1: been eating? And so here's my thing. The flight crew 455 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:29,639 Speaker 1: they needed to mask the smell. They walked up and 456 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:35,840 Speaker 1: down the aisles spraying Lagerfeld cologne. I just love this 457 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,080 Speaker 1: because the brand is specified, like in all the news reports, 458 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,480 Speaker 1: like they used Lagerfeld cologne. It's the worst but best 459 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,840 Speaker 1: advertisement ever. But you know how closely scent is tied 460 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,679 Speaker 1: to memory, and so like every single one of the 461 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:50,720 Speaker 1: people on that flight, for the rest of their lives, 462 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:54,359 Speaker 1: when they smell Lagerfeld cologne, they're going to immediately smell crap. 463 00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,720 Speaker 1: They think of Jerry Finner and squatting. They're gonna pass 464 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:01,200 Speaker 1: someone on the street wearing that scent and immediately start wretching. 465 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:06,480 Speaker 1: So for four hours, four hours, people are in robed 466 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 1: in Lagerfeld dukie smell. They're hungry, they haven't eaten, but 467 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:14,160 Speaker 1: not really because it smells like a ground beef tire 468 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:18,120 Speaker 1: fire up in there. Like they can't what do you do? Right? 469 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,360 Speaker 1: What did you do? The professor? How did you handle this? 470 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:23,960 Speaker 1: I don't even know if you know that this is 471 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,320 Speaker 1: all an imagination exercise with you. So I don't want 472 00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:30,120 Speaker 1: people to think that the professor from Yale was actually there. 473 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:36,200 Speaker 1: Yea professor there, And exactly so the whole like big 474 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,560 Speaker 1: u n trip for the President of Portugal and the 475 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,560 Speaker 1: Argentine Minister of Foreign Affairs off to a great start, 476 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:46,800 Speaker 1: you know, diplomacy. I gotta take a breath. Let's take 477 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 1: a short break, and I'm gonna let you know how 478 00:27:49,040 --> 00:28:11,960 Speaker 1: this all shakes out. Alright, So where were we? Oh, 479 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,440 Speaker 1: let's see, we were in about thirty six thousand miles 480 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,920 Speaker 1: thou feet in the air, and everything smelled like poop 481 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,359 Speaker 1: and Carl Loggerfield's cologne. Yeah, the poop ship destroyer Flight 482 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:24,879 Speaker 1: nine six eventually lands in New York and the FEDS 483 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:30,120 Speaker 1: are waiting, I hope. Yeah. The FBI arrested Gerard Finneran 484 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,840 Speaker 1: upon his arrival. He gets charged with interfering with the 485 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:38,080 Speaker 1: flight crew and assaulting a flight member flight attendant. Excuse me, 486 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:40,880 Speaker 1: when is this soulting? Is that a specific thing? Or 487 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,680 Speaker 1: is he getting arrested for assult and battery? It just 488 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:44,880 Speaker 1: happens to be a flight attendant. Yeah, I don't know. 489 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,360 Speaker 1: I think that I think that there's probably like striking 490 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:53,480 Speaker 1: an officer special. Let's say there is. He posts a 491 00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:57,000 Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars bond, and he's required to attend alcohol 492 00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,360 Speaker 1: canceling and he's not allowed to fly anywhere without the 493 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:06,000 Speaker 1: court's permission. So he's correct. Definerin has tons of money, 494 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,360 Speaker 1: so you'd imagine that he gets like a really great lawyer. 495 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,360 Speaker 1: I've seen some of the lawyers, some really rich people higher. 496 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:13,720 Speaker 1: He's not necessarily guaranteed that. I feel like maybe his 497 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:19,040 Speaker 1: lawyer wasn't quite prepared for this craptacular situation. So in 498 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:23,600 Speaker 1: court and in the papers, the lawyer, Charles Stillman insists 499 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,840 Speaker 1: that the booze had nothing to do with his client's capers. 500 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:31,960 Speaker 1: How he says, it's all false. It's a horrible lie. 501 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:37,240 Speaker 1: I guess he took a tranquilizer earlier and didn't know it. 502 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,360 Speaker 1: Gets it's such a good explanation. What he's trying to 503 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 1: do is rewrite the narrative. He's hoping that the plane 504 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 1: ride will be like most of this guy's life. What 505 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 1: he says goes. He's just going to say how it is, 506 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:53,720 Speaker 1: don't forget, there's no smartphones or social media, so it's 507 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:55,720 Speaker 1: like someone wanted to get the video, they had to 508 00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:59,320 Speaker 1: bust out an actual video camera, tape the whole thing, 509 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 1: and then maybe sell like the physical tape to inside edition. 510 00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,240 Speaker 1: There's no one they're yelling world star, world star, which 511 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:10,080 Speaker 1: would have been awesome. So if you weren't a weird 512 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,680 Speaker 1: astronomy professor at Yale and you were instead a high 513 00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:15,520 Speaker 1: price lawyer in Manhattan, how how would you defend your 514 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:18,680 Speaker 1: client's actions? You said, what was it? I wasn't listening. 515 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:22,280 Speaker 1: I was like, I think, I said, tell me about 516 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:26,640 Speaker 1: like tranquilizers. I don't know. The point being that usually 517 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:29,880 Speaker 1: the high price lawyers like to shift the blame onto 518 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,680 Speaker 1: something that raises reasonable doubt that you cannot really say 519 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,640 Speaker 1: does or does not do the thing they're claiming, and 520 00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,200 Speaker 1: that's all they have to introduce. So I would try 521 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,240 Speaker 1: to come up with some reasonable doubt that oh, he 522 00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:40,840 Speaker 1: had a reaction to his medications, and I just find 523 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,160 Speaker 1: whatever medications he has and find some doctors says that 524 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 1: somebody once had a reaction, I'd be like, yes, he's 525 00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,920 Speaker 1: also TV that you're totally on the right path there, 526 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,600 Speaker 1: oh Am I look at me, law school paid all right, 527 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,800 Speaker 1: now you just passed the bar. Look at that. You're done, 528 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 1: arn Burnett. It's so good. So stillman opts for a 529 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:03,880 Speaker 1: really ridiculous a Finneran pleads guilty as charged in court, 530 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:07,000 Speaker 1: but the lawyer wants to make sure everyone understands that 531 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:10,000 Speaker 1: it was all just a big misunderstanding, the poop on 532 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 1: the drink cart photo misunderstanding. He says, well, you know what, 533 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,920 Speaker 1: it's actually the President of Portugal's fault, shift the blame. 534 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,280 Speaker 1: We write the narrative. Do we know who exactly was 535 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:21,600 Speaker 1: on the drink cart? We have eyewitnesses, but can they 536 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,000 Speaker 1: be trusted? Well, he says that, okay, He's like, listen, 537 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,480 Speaker 1: my man, Finneran, he actually had a really bad case 538 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,920 Speaker 1: of traveler's diarrhea. Is that a thing? Yeah, It's like 539 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:34,400 Speaker 1: if you eat something that you're not used to while traveling. 540 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:38,600 Speaker 1: So he had drank water that yeah. So he says 541 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,480 Speaker 1: that that's what happened, not that he was on a 542 00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:46,160 Speaker 1: complete loose goosebender, but he's got traveler's diarrhead well. As 543 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,160 Speaker 1: an aside, I kind of feel like maybe he had 544 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,240 Speaker 1: more than just champagne and red wine dropping the crazy train. 545 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,960 Speaker 1: I'm thinking he showed up a little loose. Yeah, it's 546 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:59,680 Speaker 1: pure speculation. Maybe there's like Columbian marching powder, no nose candy. Yes, 547 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,120 Speaker 1: I don't know, and that's pure sulation. But like when 548 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:05,720 Speaker 1: people say, by the way, when people say nose candy, 549 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:09,080 Speaker 1: I always imagine someone shoving an entire Snickers bar up 550 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,880 Speaker 1: their nose with the heel of their palm. Imagine pop rocks. 551 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:18,240 Speaker 1: And that's just me, you know. Anyway, Stillman, he says 552 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:21,240 Speaker 1: that Finneran had the squirts super bad, and that the 553 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:27,040 Speaker 1: president of Spirts grandfather used to call you got the squirts. 554 00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:35,840 Speaker 1: He's like he was sliding into first heels first. Um, 555 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:37,920 Speaker 1: I don't remember the rest of that. Then I'm not 556 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,160 Speaker 1: gonna when you fly in the first and you feel 557 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:46,000 Speaker 1: something first in diarrhea, and then there's a second and 558 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:52,000 Speaker 1: the third something about a turd. Yah. Um. Anyhow, President 559 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,960 Speaker 1: of Portugal's team, won't he the Stillman, the lawyer says 560 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:58,360 Speaker 1: that the president of Portugal's team isn't letting his client 561 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:03,440 Speaker 1: into the bathroom while he had as bad diarrhea, and 562 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:07,400 Speaker 1: that he was prevented from accessing this bathroom by by 563 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,480 Speaker 1: this crew and what's he supposed to do? Use coach 564 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:14,000 Speaker 1: bathrooms like an animal? Okay, wouldn't that be like the 565 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:17,680 Speaker 1: easiest people to find to get an eyewitness testimony that 566 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:20,200 Speaker 1: they did not know because he's just rewriting the narrative. 567 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:21,720 Speaker 1: And the lawyer says, you know what, the only other 568 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:23,880 Speaker 1: option he had was to pop a squad on the 569 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:28,959 Speaker 1: beverage cart. What else are you going to do anyone 570 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:33,680 Speaker 1: in these conditions? Um, the bogus meters off the chart. 571 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,600 Speaker 1: So was the judge like, you know what, we all 572 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:41,280 Speaker 1: been there, no worries, no, thankfully no. Finneran gets sentenced 573 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:45,200 Speaker 1: to three hours of community service, two years probation, and 574 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:48,680 Speaker 1: a five thousand dollar fine, And he also had to 575 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:53,200 Speaker 1: pay the airline almost fifty dollars for the hazmat crew. Yeah, 576 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,920 Speaker 1: like a grand or two went for cleanup costs, Like 577 00:33:56,160 --> 00:34:00,440 Speaker 1: they must have had to steam clean, disinfect, maybe replace seats, 578 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:03,840 Speaker 1: Oh I hope. So yeah. And then some actually some 579 00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,600 Speaker 1: of the passengers were calling for Finneran to be tested 580 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:10,359 Speaker 1: for hepatitis to make sure they weren't exposed, and then, 581 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,359 Speaker 1: in total ignorant nineties fashion, some of them wanted him 582 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,600 Speaker 1: to be tested for AIDS because they thought that's how 583 00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:22,920 Speaker 1: they were going to get it. So, uh yeah, that's 584 00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:27,799 Speaker 1: that's um an intelligent move. Uh logic. Anyway, Um, the 585 00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,560 Speaker 1: rest of the money that was paid to the airline 586 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:34,000 Speaker 1: went towards reimbursement costs for the other passengers. What about 587 00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:36,840 Speaker 1: the flight crew who he was boob pushing down the 588 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,200 Speaker 1: aisle and listen, I don't I swear if I didn't, 589 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,319 Speaker 1: If I'm on that flight, If I'm professors erin and 590 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:45,160 Speaker 1: I don't get like a dozen free first class flights 591 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:48,240 Speaker 1: out of this, I'm losing it. I'm crapping on stuff. 592 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,520 Speaker 1: I'm going that's and I feel like they probably like 593 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,320 Speaker 1: refunded people's tickets and gave them like a drink voucher 594 00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:57,600 Speaker 1: and maybe a pair of those little plastic United wings. 595 00:34:57,920 --> 00:34:59,759 Speaker 1: You know that there had to be at least doesn't 596 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:01,919 Speaker 1: have to be. But I would imagine statistically at least 597 00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:03,879 Speaker 1: one person on that flight that was the first time 598 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:07,080 Speaker 1: they ever flew So the first time they ever fly up, 599 00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:13,480 Speaker 1: they never fly again. Trains for me like so Finneran 600 00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,759 Speaker 1: though he goes on to Lalo for the rest of 601 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,239 Speaker 1: his days. You know, he's promised as much to the 602 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:21,000 Speaker 1: judge during his sentencing because he tells him, you will 603 00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:24,480 Speaker 1: never hear of me doing anything like this again. Okay, 604 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,440 Speaker 1: that's quite a promise there. You're never going to hear 605 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,480 Speaker 1: of me doing something. In fact that he like. He 606 00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:33,799 Speaker 1: later volunteers at a nonprofit that helps source post incarceration 607 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,879 Speaker 1: employment for people who have completed their sentences. But did 608 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:38,640 Speaker 1: you like pick that? I mean, are we giving him 609 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:42,080 Speaker 1: credit for? Yeah, I'm giving him credit. This is I 610 00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:45,960 Speaker 1: debated including this next part because like, we had a 611 00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:47,840 Speaker 1: wild ride and I didn't want to end it on 612 00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:51,319 Speaker 1: a bummer. I can I appreciate that. Um still trying 613 00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,280 Speaker 1: to get the car lager filled out of my mental theater, 614 00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,839 Speaker 1: I think it should be mentioned. And you know, at 615 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:58,120 Speaker 1: least we had some fun along the way here. But 616 00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:02,120 Speaker 1: Finnran died into that and five and his cause of 617 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:06,840 Speaker 1: death was complications of Alzheimer's disease. So the air rage 618 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,719 Speaker 1: incident took place ten years prior to this, and there 619 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:12,320 Speaker 1: has been, you know, speculation that the whole mess was 620 00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:15,520 Speaker 1: a sign of early onset Alzheimer's. Okay, now, I've had 621 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,880 Speaker 1: friends grandparents who had Alzheimer's, and uh, I watched the 622 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,120 Speaker 1: deterioration and go from the person that they were to 623 00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,719 Speaker 1: the person like they could not remember their wife and 624 00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:25,480 Speaker 1: so forth, and it was really you know, as a kid, 625 00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,239 Speaker 1: I remember this was the case. It's really sad and 626 00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:31,200 Speaker 1: really difficult to watch. But I don't remember any of 627 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:35,319 Speaker 1: them having episodes of like this type of behavior. When 628 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,200 Speaker 1: they did the occasionally they get angry because they get 629 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:41,080 Speaker 1: confused and stuff, but their anger didn't turn into I'm 630 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:43,200 Speaker 1: surfing the drink cart and pooping on I mean, like 631 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:45,759 Speaker 1: this didn't go I mean, here's the thing, Like, I've 632 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,879 Speaker 1: had relatives who at the end of their lives had 633 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,480 Speaker 1: diminished capacity, mostly due to dementia, you know, and some 634 00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:54,680 Speaker 1: of them did some seriously ridiculous and like in hindsight, 635 00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:58,480 Speaker 1: hilarious things as a result of this um In the moment, 636 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:01,440 Speaker 1: it was wild and like out of character and distressing, 637 00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:04,919 Speaker 1: but like with time, it becomes a pretty funny story. Yeah, 638 00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:09,080 Speaker 1: And I think that because after that time, and like 639 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,279 Speaker 1: when they're gone, we have a more holistic view of 640 00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:13,560 Speaker 1: who they were in their life and like the absurd 641 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:16,759 Speaker 1: nature of just our brief time on this planet, you know, 642 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,920 Speaker 1: you get that kind of and so like when you 643 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,400 Speaker 1: take the illness out of the equation in these stories, 644 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:24,560 Speaker 1: they're funny and there's something that the person themselves would 645 00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,839 Speaker 1: laugh about. So I'm just like giving credence to if 646 00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:29,879 Speaker 1: there's a speculation that that played a part in it, 647 00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:33,520 Speaker 1: Like in the case of Gerard Finneran. On the surface 648 00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,319 Speaker 1: of the story, it's a guy who went nuts in 649 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,000 Speaker 1: first class and flipped out and then did something so 650 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:42,960 Speaker 1: primal and like against societal norms, meaning like going against 651 00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:46,080 Speaker 1: civility and basic hygiene. Like it's not like, oh, I'm 652 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,440 Speaker 1: a rebel, I don't cut my hair. I'm a rebel. 653 00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,080 Speaker 1: I crap all over the place. You know. It's shocked 654 00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,680 Speaker 1: and it amused people like late night hosts like David 655 00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:58,600 Speaker 1: Letterman and comedians. They used his antics and material like crazy. 656 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,719 Speaker 1: At the time, it was everywhere um and but we 657 00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:03,480 Speaker 1: now we have some distance and we see how it 658 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,640 Speaker 1: played out. And he was a guy who did a 659 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:07,920 Speaker 1: lot of good things in his life. You know, he 660 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:11,600 Speaker 1: had a wife of forty four years, kids, grandkids, He 661 00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:16,360 Speaker 1: was an Air Force, successful businessman, played a ton of sports, 662 00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:20,040 Speaker 1: love to be active. So like he used a major 663 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,359 Speaker 1: misstep two in his life to lead him to help 664 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,440 Speaker 1: out others who'd done something that they regret and had 665 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,800 Speaker 1: paid their dues and just wanted to get back into society, 666 00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:32,080 Speaker 1: the society they offended injured. Yeah, he became like a 667 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,719 Speaker 1: gateway for others. Yeah, and he realizes I've been there, 668 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:38,960 Speaker 1: I've done I've done something really really wrong. And I 669 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,120 Speaker 1: don't know, I mean, I don't think it really affected 670 00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:43,279 Speaker 1: his work career because he, you know, he went on 671 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,239 Speaker 1: to to continue to make money and be you know, 672 00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:49,360 Speaker 1: well regarded. So I think he wanted other people to 673 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:52,520 Speaker 1: have that. Um. There's a part in his obituary in 674 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,120 Speaker 1: the New York Times that I thought was like a 675 00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:57,440 Speaker 1: really interesting snapshot of who he was outside of the 676 00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,680 Speaker 1: fecal fiasco. Okay, so let me read this to you, 677 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:04,440 Speaker 1: and I quote. Gerard was one of the founding partners 678 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:08,319 Speaker 1: of tc W Worldwide and the author of its eclectic 679 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:12,520 Speaker 1: but very successful investment style. He was a consummate value 680 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,080 Speaker 1: investor who could see around corners, and he was a 681 00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,839 Speaker 1: wonderful boss who focused on what people could do, not 682 00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:20,920 Speaker 1: on what they couldn't. He engendered loyalty and love from 683 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,000 Speaker 1: those who are lucky enough to have the opportunity to 684 00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,719 Speaker 1: work with him. His enthusiasm, carrying and absolute fearlessness will 685 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:30,400 Speaker 1: be sorely missed. So he's he's a complex guys. You know, 686 00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:33,440 Speaker 1: whatever your thoughts on the like social value of equity 687 00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:36,560 Speaker 1: funds or whatnot, you know, he's a human being who 688 00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:39,759 Speaker 1: seems to connect well with other human beings. But is 689 00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:42,839 Speaker 1: he like a salesman type or get did you get 690 00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:44,960 Speaker 1: a sense of where his charm is, because like some 691 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,640 Speaker 1: people can be charming because they're working on it. Some 692 00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:48,520 Speaker 1: people can be charming because they have integrity and you're 693 00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:50,799 Speaker 1: drawn to it. I think that his charm was sort 694 00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:53,080 Speaker 1: of in the fact that he was not risk averse 695 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,680 Speaker 1: and he was willing to do things a little bit differently. 696 00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:58,440 Speaker 1: It sounds from what I you know, when I understand, 697 00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,000 Speaker 1: and it wasn't just that he was like a charm 698 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:03,200 Speaker 1: I mean guy. I think he was just a nice guy. Um. 699 00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:04,960 Speaker 1: And so if you look at it, like he connects 700 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,160 Speaker 1: with other people, I I feel like that's the meaning 701 00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:09,959 Speaker 1: of life, right, That's why we're here, connect with other people, 702 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,520 Speaker 1: connect with the other living things. And it's too late 703 00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:13,839 Speaker 1: for me to say that. I don't want to get 704 00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,920 Speaker 1: philosophical about this because I'm like deep in it. But 705 00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:19,840 Speaker 1: what I think is appealing about ridiculous crimes that we 706 00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:23,560 Speaker 1: talk about, is this whole thing, like that's this like 707 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:28,440 Speaker 1: we um people make major screw ups and antics and 708 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:32,400 Speaker 1: foiled plots. They're real people, and they're great examples of 709 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:36,799 Speaker 1: the fallibility of human beings, you know. And and we're 710 00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,600 Speaker 1: all capable of these things, you know. Anyone who says 711 00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:43,000 Speaker 1: that they're not is lying to themselves. Um. And so 712 00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,440 Speaker 1: the crimes that we talk about are ones where no 713 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:50,520 Speaker 1: one loses their one precious life, you know. So these 714 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,680 Speaker 1: are the kind of weird things we all do along 715 00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:54,400 Speaker 1: the way, not all of us, but we all make 716 00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:57,120 Speaker 1: dumb choices at some point and to differing degrees, and 717 00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:58,920 Speaker 1: those are the things that we talk about. And I 718 00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,239 Speaker 1: think it's sort of better to laugh at those, because like, 719 00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:07,160 Speaker 1: life is ridiculous and that that is my ridiculous takeaway 720 00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:11,799 Speaker 1: on this one. So Gerard Finneran, you know, did something 721 00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:15,600 Speaker 1: completely ridiculous and gross and hilarious. And maybe it was 722 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:21,200 Speaker 1: for reasons that weren't so hilarious, but maybe we don't know, speculation, 723 00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:25,000 Speaker 1: But the bottom line is it's absolutely hilarious to poop 724 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:28,200 Speaker 1: all over an entire first class cat completely because you 725 00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:31,319 Speaker 1: can't get a drink. The the O bit your read 726 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:33,719 Speaker 1: reminds me the way you talk about him being the 727 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,520 Speaker 1: way the O bit talked about him being a value 728 00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:39,239 Speaker 1: investor and you know, basically being warm and somebody who 729 00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:42,080 Speaker 1: took a risk reminded me almost like a Warren Buffett. 730 00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:45,040 Speaker 1: So imagining Warren Buffet standing on a drink tray, dropping 731 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:48,280 Speaker 1: trout and crapping on like all the coffee and everything 732 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:51,319 Speaker 1: right now, suddenly I'm like, now, how could he get 733 00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,440 Speaker 1: past that? And I could see him doing it, but 734 00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:55,279 Speaker 1: I don't see him laughing about it per se, But 735 00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:57,080 Speaker 1: I could imagine laughing about it. And I think with 736 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,600 Speaker 1: time even Warren Buffett would laugh at the image of 737 00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:02,120 Speaker 1: him drop and trial on a drink cart. By all rights, 738 00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:04,200 Speaker 1: we have every right to laugh about it, and so 739 00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:06,640 Speaker 1: does Warren Buffett. Yeah, I'm just just saying. So I 740 00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:08,239 Speaker 1: was trying to, like, you know, picture like, well, how 741 00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:10,480 Speaker 1: far could I take? This investment banker is just a 742 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,600 Speaker 1: decent guy, just had this one weird moment. Well we 743 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,319 Speaker 1: hope it was the one weird moment. What has he 744 00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:19,800 Speaker 1: gotten away with quietly in other instances? But it seems 745 00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:22,399 Speaker 1: like he righted the ship And I like I love 746 00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:24,320 Speaker 1: a good I won't just say like I love a 747 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:27,600 Speaker 1: good redemption story. So this is a redemption story about 748 00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:32,399 Speaker 1: poopman Joe, just like let it loosen, and he gave 749 00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:34,879 Speaker 1: me the opportunity to think of so many synonyms for 750 00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,200 Speaker 1: fecal matter. Did you know? Thank you, Gerard. I think 751 00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:43,960 Speaker 1: my other ridiculous takeaway is apparently a first class ticket. Wow, 752 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,640 Speaker 1: I had no idea. Yeah, I mean right up to 753 00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:50,520 Speaker 1: a point. It's I guess worth it to fly first 754 00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:54,880 Speaker 1: for many many reasons that thousand dollars goes a long way. 755 00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:59,560 Speaker 1: Oh not just a thousand son. Okay, it's so clear 756 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:03,680 Speaker 1: I have no idea that that's just for today. You 757 00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:06,640 Speaker 1: can find us online at Ridiculous Crime on both Twitter 758 00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:11,120 Speaker 1: and Instagram. Note I will not be posting coop pictures 759 00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:15,840 Speaker 1: on Instagram. Whatever. You're welcome, America and the world. You 760 00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:18,040 Speaker 1: gotta tip for us about a ridiculous crime that you 761 00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:20,160 Speaker 1: want to hear about. Do you want to tell us 762 00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:22,400 Speaker 1: about the time that you pooped on a cart in 763 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:26,320 Speaker 1: first class? Email us. We can take it at ridiculous 764 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:29,759 Speaker 1: Crime at gmail dot com. So tune in next time 765 00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:38,720 Speaker 1: for more ridiculousness. Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton 766 00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:42,160 Speaker 1: and Zaron Burnett, produced and edited by Duty Free Dave Kusten. 767 00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:45,240 Speaker 1: The research is by t s A pre boarding approved 768 00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,279 Speaker 1: Merissa Brown. The theme song is by Thomas Long Haul 769 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:53,040 Speaker 1: Lee and Unaccompanied Minor Travis Dutton. Executive producers are Upright 770 00:43:53,080 --> 00:44:00,360 Speaker 1: and Locked Position, Ben Bollen and NonStop Noel Brown. Yeah. 771 00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,560 Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of I heart Radio. For 772 00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,520 Speaker 1: more podcasts my heart Radio, visit the i heeart Radio app, 773 00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:11,440 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.