WEBVTT - Ep, 64 *Clip* Good Men vs. Terrible Men

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<v Speaker 1>Talk talk. We're just too unapologetically black women with an

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<v Speaker 1>opinion who talks back the relationship. And I definitely used

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<v Speaker 1>to call it nigga, a son of a bitch and

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<v Speaker 1>he used to get so good as his mom had

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<v Speaker 1>passed dumb. No, never, I was never calling him you know,

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<v Speaker 1>he was really taking it first, almost like are you

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<v Speaker 1>talking about my mama like that? I'm not talking about

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<v Speaker 1>your mama. Son of a bitch isn't like it? But

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<v Speaker 1>what is the son of a bitch? Though him? But

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<v Speaker 1>so his mama is a bit so that's why he

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<v Speaker 1>takes especially if he at these Okay, all right, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>now if we want to talk literal, but we're not

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<v Speaker 1>talking literal of them. Are women having problems from these men?

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<v Speaker 1>You see what I'm saying because they were raised by

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<v Speaker 1>But that's the thing where I have I have dealt

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<v Speaker 1>with women over the years who have told me like

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<v Speaker 1>I wasn't emotional, I didn't get mad about certain things,

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<v Speaker 1>like oh, show me some emotion, like I had women

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<v Speaker 1>like purposely try to send me exactly they sure do,

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<v Speaker 1>like they'll call me a bitch ass nigga to get

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<v Speaker 1>me the show emotion. And when I almost punched the

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<v Speaker 1>ship out of you. Then I'm a bit your ass nigga.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying, Like, I'm like, come on now, nigga, exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>But but and just for the record, I have never

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<v Speaker 1>ever hit a woman that I have dated in my

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<v Speaker 1>entire data women you haven't dated, maybe one. But she

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<v Speaker 1>had got super disrespectful with my mama and my mama

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<v Speaker 1>house and were family. We were all family. We moved

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<v Speaker 1>past it. It was all with it, you know. But

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I mean her brother would have stole off

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<v Speaker 1>for me, you know what I'm saying, or stole off

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<v Speaker 1>on my sister if I said that, you know. But

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<v Speaker 1>we all families, so we all have just completely moved

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<v Speaker 1>past it. Yeah we Yeah, we are definitely patched that up.

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<v Speaker 1>But I've never, out of anger like hit a woman.

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<v Speaker 1>I've never felt the need to. And I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>that's because I always feel like I'm the prize. So like,

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<v Speaker 1>I bit, call me whatever you want to say, go

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<v Speaker 1>out here with these other niggas and you don't see

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<v Speaker 1>that you're gonna get worse. You can call me whatever

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<v Speaker 1>you want to try to get me mad, call me

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<v Speaker 1>a whole ass nigga. Bit I just know that I know,

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<v Speaker 1>thank you. I'm glad you don't. But I just know

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<v Speaker 1>that the niggas out here ain't ship, and you're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>go out here and you're gonna get one of them.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like we say that a man. I don't look,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't say nothing. I just say. I just say.

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<v Speaker 1>I just say, choose better. I always tell you something

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<v Speaker 1>good men, so I say, but I also know a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of terrible I know, I know a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>terrible men relationship wise. Now, I would definitely say as

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<v Speaker 1>far as relationship goes, I feel like ninety percent of

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<v Speaker 1>the men are bad for relationships. When we talk about

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<v Speaker 1>good people, good fathers, I feel like easily seventy or

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like of all men are good, genuinely good

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<v Speaker 1>hearted and are good will will be good fathers and

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<v Speaker 1>given the opportunity. But I just feel like a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of men who are quote unquote debbie dads, they suffer

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<v Speaker 1>from bad advice. Because I remember when I whenever I

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<v Speaker 1>when I was going through my custody situation, so many

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<v Speaker 1>of my my homies were like, man that ship, for

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<v Speaker 1>that ship, Man, pay pay your child support, let her do.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, pay my child supporting. Just let her do whatever.

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<v Speaker 1>When your son get old enough, just explain to that

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<v Speaker 1>you're gonna get to a point here, gonna want to

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<v Speaker 1>know his daddy. Then you could tell him about his mama.

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<v Speaker 1>You won't eventually see all that. Bro, you want me

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<v Speaker 1>to go fourteen years without fifteen when I see kids?

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<v Speaker 1>Out of mind for a lot of men. So this

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<v Speaker 1>is what I want you to say. How do how

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<v Speaker 1>do we get that percent of? What can men do

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<v Speaker 1>to get that? Of I feel like they I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like they just I feel like they just don't know

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<v Speaker 1>how to be good. But men or not been as

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<v Speaker 1>far as relationships, it's the same way with women. I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like a lot of women of them are bad

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<v Speaker 1>in relationships because they just don't know what a good

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<v Speaker 1>relationship looks like. We don't don't have we don't like

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of a lot of I mean, let's just

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<v Speaker 1>be honest with you. We could we could get into

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<v Speaker 1>we can just go into systemic racism. We can go

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<v Speaker 1>into just the overall things that society has done to

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<v Speaker 1>the black family on purpose to divide us. We could

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<v Speaker 1>we could get into that. But we most of us

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<v Speaker 1>know these things, but without these positive images out there

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<v Speaker 1>of a black family. You know, it's hard for anybody

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<v Speaker 1>to really emulate anything. So do you think that a

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<v Speaker 1>man that doesn't take care of his kids, do you

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<v Speaker 1>think that man should have any friends or should he

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<v Speaker 1>be ostracized in the community, Should he have any friends?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think. I don't. I think that more men

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<v Speaker 1>need to step up because I always say, there's women,

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<v Speaker 1>we be having lunches, brunches, conferences, all these different things,

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<v Speaker 1>so we could sit down and talk about our bullshit.

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<v Speaker 1>But men you'll claim you have nobody to talk to.

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<v Speaker 1>And if there's a good man, if there's a man

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<v Speaker 1>who's a self complaim good man, you need to reach

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<v Speaker 1>out to these niggas who ain't doing ship and speak

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<v Speaker 1>to them and talk to them, and then it won't

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<v Speaker 1>always look like it's the woman fashion these men. You

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<v Speaker 1>see what I'm saying. We need more help from the

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<v Speaker 1>good men. The quote unquote good men need to reach

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<v Speaker 1>back to the other men who are struggling, who just

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<v Speaker 1>have a group of surrounded by a bunch of a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of men don't be receptive. So I would say,

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<v Speaker 1>from my experience, I get a lot of young men

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<v Speaker 1>in my inbox texting me demming me whatever on the

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<v Speaker 1>regular basis who want me to mentor them. But I

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<v Speaker 1>know that I'm an exception to the rule in a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of ways because a lot of these niggas just

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<v Speaker 1>be old men. They don't be o G s. I

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<v Speaker 1>know I'm an o G. I try to get the

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<v Speaker 1>best advice. I know. I was raised by by real

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<v Speaker 1>o gs who gave me great advice. But then I

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<v Speaker 1>know a lot of my friends sometimes to give me

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<v Speaker 1>bad advice. But because I know that y'all are just

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<v Speaker 1>my friends, y'all really gonna be on my side. A

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<v Speaker 1>lot of times. I do talk to the o G s.

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<v Speaker 1>I have brothers, I have uncles, cousins. I have a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of people who are able to sort of get

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<v Speaker 1>me and check you know what I'm saying. And I

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<v Speaker 1>associate with people who are like me. I don't go

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<v Speaker 1>and associate with people who aren't like me. Like I

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<v Speaker 1>said earlier, a lot of these men, they try to

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<v Speaker 1>level up. If they see a nigga with jury, they

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<v Speaker 1>see a nigga with women, he automatically becomes big Bro.

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<v Speaker 1>They don't look at his character, don't look at his morals,

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<v Speaker 1>don't look at his values. Big Bro bib. But a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of look, a lot of them be straight clowns.

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<v Speaker 1>They just got money, you know what I'm saying. And

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of these niggas want to want money too,

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<v Speaker 1>so they're big bro to death thinking they're about to

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<v Speaker 1>get some opportunities to some money. And let's be clear,

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<v Speaker 1>niggas like niggas with money. To be clear, of course,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what I'm saying, nigga, No, seriously, nobody likes

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<v Speaker 1>a broken nigger. Ben women know that nobody does, um,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's that's just real. But I have embraced the

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<v Speaker 1>fact that I'm older. I've embraced the fact that I

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<v Speaker 1>have a lot of knowledge. I embraced the fact that

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<v Speaker 1>you know, Um, I come from a background that has

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<v Speaker 1>taught me to be smart. It was cool to be smart,

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<v Speaker 1>it was cool to be on point. But I do

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<v Speaker 1>know a lot of people don't have that, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>Like I feel like a lot of people who come

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<v Speaker 1>from that type of background, they fight their whole lives

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<v Speaker 1>to be street niggas. And you've got a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>these old, these old people who are supposed to be

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<v Speaker 1>o g s who try to act like the young niggas.

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<v Speaker 1>They want to live vicariously through the through the young niggas,

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<v Speaker 1>and like, bro, like just accept the fact you're you're

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<v Speaker 1>thirty fives and up. You should be transitioning, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>Like like these niggas are not transitioning, like they want

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<v Speaker 1>to be young niggas, no growth whatsoever. I've always wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to grow. But I always know that I come from

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<v Speaker 1>a different background. I'm always being pushed, I'm always being challenged.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I understand that I'm different. I knew. So you know,

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<v Speaker 1>you don't have any friends that don't have no relationship

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<v Speaker 1>with their kids. I have like some that have strained

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<v Speaker 1>the relationships with their kids, and and and a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of times when I came in, the relationship was already strained.

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<v Speaker 1>But I always try to let them know, like, bro,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, the court system is here for you. Like

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<v Speaker 1>they will argue with their baby mamas. I hear them

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<v Speaker 1>on the phone arguing with their baby mamas, and they

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<v Speaker 1>try to work everything out with their baby mamas. A

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<v Speaker 1>lot of these dudes have you know, charges that may

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<v Speaker 1>be on probation. But like dam I own want them

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<v Speaker 1>crackers in my business, Bro, I don't want them just

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<v Speaker 1>at the third But I always try to let them know, like,

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<v Speaker 1>bro handle whatever legal issues you have and go and

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<v Speaker 1>get a nigger fresh out of jail, gonna get two

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<v Speaker 1>days a week with his child. That's just all is

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<v Speaker 1>to it. But I feel like a lot of people,

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<v Speaker 1>including women and men, both the children really aren't the issue.

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<v Speaker 1>They want each other. They're so bitter towards each other

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<v Speaker 1>that the children, not always, it's not always, but the

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<v Speaker 1>children are just paused because remember they didn't want the

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<v Speaker 1>children at first, that they didn't sit down and playing

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<v Speaker 1>out having children. They wanted to be together. And they

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<v Speaker 1>got so wrapped up in each other that the nigger

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't pulling out or the girl didn't get up whenever

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<v Speaker 1>he said, get up off and get upout for getting product.

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<v Speaker 1>So they went so love with each other. The kid

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<v Speaker 1>was just a product of it. The kid was never

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<v Speaker 1>supposed to be here. You see what I'm saying, Many

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<v Speaker 1>of us, like many of us, you know what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I can't say with me because my days

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<v Speaker 1>were married, but my mom definitely said I wasn't supposed

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<v Speaker 1>to be married. Married, my mom said, and my dad

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<v Speaker 1>my mom said, your dad was done at three, Like

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<v Speaker 1>I had to hide your pregnancy from him for the

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<v Speaker 1>longest until you know, he just got to the point

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<v Speaker 1>where I couldn't hide it no more and he was pissed.

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<v Speaker 1>He was like like the four ye the fourth. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I do understand that. You know, a lot of the

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<v Speaker 1>children weren't meant to be here, and a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>times people are just navigating parenthood without proper role models

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<v Speaker 1>and with kids that they really didn't first the first place.

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<v Speaker 1>They wanted the other person. So now both are using

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<v Speaker 1>the kids. And for the most hard, a man can

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<v Speaker 1>be with a woman and really just I mean a

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<v Speaker 1>man cannot be with a women really just want to

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<v Speaker 1>be a dad. Men can do that. Yeah, yeah, bitch,

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<v Speaker 1>were cool and all, but yeah, I want to see

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<v Speaker 1>my son. For the most part, women when they have kids,

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<v Speaker 1>they go into a family mode, and the family includes

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<v Speaker 1>the child and the dad. So it takes a long

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<v Speaker 1>time for them to just settle for the fact that

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a single parent and it's not gonna work single

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<v Speaker 1>excuse me a parent that's single. I'm a parent that's single.

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<v Speaker 1>Or when they finally get over the dude, now they

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<v Speaker 1>want the family so bad that they're trying to create

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<v Speaker 1>the family with other men who really aren't worthy of

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<v Speaker 1>being in the family. You know what I'm saying. So,

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<v Speaker 1>and I've been in that predicament before. I have so

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<v Speaker 1>many women who tell me my most attractive quality is

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<v Speaker 1>the fact I'm a good father. They're like, that is

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<v Speaker 1>your most attractive quality. You're attractive in other ways, but

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<v Speaker 1>that right there. Run it from you money. But how

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<v Speaker 1>does that make you feel knowing that you don't want

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<v Speaker 1>kids outside of marriage? Um, he don't want no more

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<v Speaker 1>babies at this point period? No, No, I could, I could,

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<v Speaker 1>I could do another one, but my but the window

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<v Speaker 1>is closing. That's what we're talking about, closing. I don't

0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:17.160
<v Speaker 1>want to. I don't want to be fifty with a

0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:20.319
<v Speaker 1>tom closing or closed. You said, I want you to

0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:24.240
<v Speaker 1>marry a woman who already had kids, I would how old? Um,

0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:29.640
<v Speaker 1>they would at least have to be four or five

0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:32.720
<v Speaker 1>or better. Job symbol, daddy, chuck, give me a dollar

0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:37.640
<v Speaker 1>any problem, especially if she got a daughter, come in, baby,

0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:41.439
<v Speaker 1>got two boys, come in, Daddy got you, Cody got you?

0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:45.600
<v Speaker 1>But but no. So the only reason why I put

0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:48.920
<v Speaker 1>an age in limit on the kids is because when

0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:52.199
<v Speaker 1>the kids are a certain age and my daddy depend no,

0:11:53.160 --> 0:11:54.800
<v Speaker 1>because I want to catch them young. So they don't

0:11:54.800 --> 0:12:03.720
<v Speaker 1>say that can you catch them either? They're like yo, yo, yo,

0:12:03.840 --> 0:12:05.560
<v Speaker 1>you can't take me to the studio. I know, well,

0:12:05.559 --> 0:12:08.760
<v Speaker 1>be with all the celebrity rapp ship. You know young dolf,

0:12:08.880 --> 0:12:11.000
<v Speaker 1>you know the baby, you know that you can't take it.

0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:17.199
<v Speaker 1>So but what's wrong with that? Sometimes you know what

0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:19.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying. But um, when they're that young, they're still

0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:22.640
<v Speaker 1>a little bit of an attachment between the mom and dad.

0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:28.839
<v Speaker 1>So you gotta be as you you got two or

0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:32.200
<v Speaker 1>three month oh, because even if even if, like I said,

0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:34.240
<v Speaker 1>a man can be detached and just want to be

0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:36.720
<v Speaker 1>a dad. But that woman is gonna get you. Hell,

0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:40.959
<v Speaker 1>the woman gonna the first woman after don't be the

0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:44.480
<v Speaker 1>don't be the first woman after don't do not know

0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:47.400
<v Speaker 1>even the second or the third, the first get up

0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:49.600
<v Speaker 1>there and the numbers. Now, she's just another bitch. Last

0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:58.160
<v Speaker 1>one didn't last long either, you know, the last mama