Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 1: we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage
Speaker 1: you claim and give us time and a terminol and
Speaker 1: gaye ad. We want to send you off inside. We
Speaker 1: wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared? Or was it fine? Malborn? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do you need to ride? Ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need with Karen and Chris welcome to Do
Speaker 2: you need to ride? This is Chris.
Speaker 3: Fairbanks and this is Karen Tilgareth the entire way. You know,
Speaker 3: I do a lot of research whenever we have a guest.
Speaker 3: I read the sheet and I was reminded of today's
Speaker 3: guests comic book called Minor Threats, which made me listen
Speaker 3: to Minor threat the whole way nice, which is high octane,
Speaker 3: high energy punk rock, punk rock, which.
Speaker 2: You know I'm into now.
Speaker 1: Is that your new name? Punk rock?
Speaker 3: It has to sort of be, because I've been practicing.
Speaker 3: I had another Curb Dogs show and we yes, I'd
Speaker 3: say that so hesitantly. But I do karaoke with a
Speaker 3: live band of songs none of you have ever heard
Speaker 3: of except for the Dinosaur Junior one probably, and I
Speaker 3: need to listen to it to get into that mode.
Speaker 2: It helped.
Speaker 3: And then we rehearsed more than once this last time,
Speaker 3: and that helped a lot. Yeah, and the audience was
Speaker 3: all fifty something skateboarders, which really really helped.
Speaker 1: Man, I have to go to those shows.
Speaker 3: I yeah, we have yet to do one that isn't
Speaker 3: somewhere in Montana or Washington at a skate park opening.
Speaker 3: But this was in a town called Big Sandy, which
Speaker 3: can't even be a thousand people Big Sandy, Montana. It's
Speaker 3: where one of the Montana senators is from and where
Speaker 3: Jeff meant from Pearl Jam is from Nice. And so
Speaker 3: once we hit this little town driving around, I just
Speaker 3: was thinking of Jeff as a little kid, thinking, oh,
Speaker 3: I want to be a rock star one day in
Speaker 3: this town that is eight blocks wide and high.
Speaker 2: And then all of.
Speaker 1: A sudden, there he was on a bike, and oh
Speaker 1: you saw.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was just adult Jeff Man riding a bike around,
Speaker 3: reminiscing about when he was a child riding a bike around.
Speaker 1: So he moved back to his hometown or maybe never
Speaker 1: moved out.
Speaker 2: He goes back. He lives a few places.
Speaker 3: I think because Pearl Jam I think makes good money
Speaker 3: for him.
Speaker 4: I bet they do.
Speaker 1: I bet they do.
Speaker 3: And no, he's got like a skate team with little
Speaker 3: kids in the area that skate for his team. It's
Speaker 3: quite wholesome and fun. And then we played a loud
Speaker 3: show in a bar. So I've been listening to punk
Speaker 3: rock and that is my story that I've started on
Speaker 3: this episode of Do You Need a Bride?
Speaker 2: Great story, thank you.
Speaker 1: I think at the end it kind of went down.
Speaker 1: He did well energy wise. I think it was still
Speaker 1: very compelling.
Speaker 2: Well, there's a lot of.
Speaker 3: Pressure with stories at the end because we're comics to
Speaker 3: have a big closing statement.
Speaker 1: What would you be doing, sir?
Speaker 4: Like what?
Speaker 1: He wasn't turning the wheel at all. He was just
Speaker 1: coming into me.
Speaker 3: There was no reason for him to turn that wide.
Speaker 3: That car was twenty feet away. He just wanted to
Speaker 3: kiss our lane to feel like what it felt like.
Speaker 1: It looked like he was looking at this huge median
Speaker 1: blocker like he was thinking about driving over it to
Speaker 1: get to go left, like you wanted to go left
Speaker 1: so bad. He was just going to drive through some
Speaker 1: bushes to do it.
Speaker 3: I like to give people the benefit of a doubt
Speaker 3: or the doubt or any doubt, a doubt. Perhaps he
Speaker 3: was having a medical emergency. His mouth was foaming, he
Speaker 3: was biting on a belt, and that makes.
Speaker 2: You take a wide turn. Yeah, I wish him well.
Speaker 1: As what I'm saying, I don't, you don't. I was
Speaker 1: more like, I'll kill you La style, yeah, road.
Speaker 2: Rage style, or you just do it with your eyes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and just kind of like any chance to kind
Speaker 1: of get bad feeling going about your fellow man in
Speaker 1: another car who might be making a mistake, Just jump
Speaker 1: on that chance, because it just makes your life awful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was one thing I got used to in
Speaker 3: Los Angeles. That kind of aggression doesn't usually go anywhere.
Speaker 3: People get very they'll honk their horn, they'll flip you off,
Speaker 3: which in Montana means both cars are going to pull
Speaker 3: over and you're going to square off on the dirt shoulder,
Speaker 3: the soft shoulder, and people get real hard in the
Speaker 3: soft shoulder when it comes to WHOA, I'm still I
Speaker 3: have terrible memories.
Speaker 1: That's kind of funny because Los Angeles being how it is,
Speaker 1: You're right, it's all fake threats from people who have
Speaker 1: no intention of ever getting out of their car to
Speaker 1: fight you or really to do anything.
Speaker 3: I'm starting home, I'm starting to not even believe a
Speaker 3: lot of the like NWA lyrics and rap groups.
Speaker 2: I grew up listening to you.
Speaker 1: You think they were lying.
Speaker 2: I think ice Cube was always are we there yet?
Speaker 4: Ice Cube?
Speaker 3: I don't think caps were busted ever. And I hope
Speaker 3: you're listening.
Speaker 1: Cube. Oh my god, Cube, if you're listening, I love you.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean I wanted your approval when we were both
Speaker 3: on the same Conan episode, but I ended up just
Speaker 3: talking to Wayne Gratsky.
Speaker 1: The idea that you would. I mean, it's very natural
Speaker 1: to want approval from ice Cube, yes, but to expect it,
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 3: That's I did not expect it. I went into it
Speaker 3: with low expectations. And once he walked down the hall
Speaker 3: and I saw his eyebrows that are just like a
Speaker 3: caricature drawing of ice Cube.
Speaker 2: They are not welcoming.
Speaker 3: They are furrowed right, and they come up in the
Speaker 3: middle at the top of his nose and curl up
Speaker 3: and it seems like.
Speaker 1: And he also has those flared nostrils can like consistently
Speaker 1: flared nostrils. He does absolutely look like he's waiting for
Speaker 1: a fight at any point, and of course, being the
Speaker 1: person I am, I really love that. I relate to it.
Speaker 1: I love a resting bitch face. I love the energy
Speaker 1: of shut the fuck up. It's my favorite.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it'll stop me from going Hi. I'm a
Speaker 3: big fan because he doesn't need to hear that.
Speaker 1: But did you did anyone tell you? Did he watch
Speaker 1: your set? Like when it was all I doubt.
Speaker 2: He probably was in and out. I didn't watch his set. Wait.
Speaker 1: I mean that's understandable because you can't, like five minutes
Speaker 1: before you do stand up kality on TV, you can't
Speaker 1: hear or see anything.
Speaker 3: And I remember you called me before that set and said,
Speaker 3: very reassure you got this, you belong there, you know
Speaker 3: what you're doing. I did, yes, and we were just
Speaker 3: getting to know each other at the time.
Speaker 2: Right, So thank you for that.
Speaker 1: You're welcome. I meant it.
Speaker 3: I'm afraid it didn't work as nervous as hell, but
Speaker 3: I appreciate.
Speaker 1: But the nervousness is good because it's the it's the
Speaker 1: engine you had it. That set is legendary. The sweater
Speaker 1: was legendary funny.
Speaker 3: I was doubting that sweater, and I right before I
Speaker 3: went through the curtains, I looked at just the guy that.
Speaker 2: Works on the crew.
Speaker 3: That was his job in that moment to open the curtain,
Speaker 3: and he had a headset and like, I'm gonna take
Speaker 3: that sweater off, and he's like, you keep that sweater off,
Speaker 3: very much approof of the sweater, and it gave me
Speaker 3: that final boost of confidence.
Speaker 2: I hated the.
Speaker 1: Unsung crew members on shows, daily shows where people it's
Speaker 1: so hard. On talk shows, it's hard work. People are
Speaker 1: under pressure constantly. It's very hard to make a show
Speaker 1: every day, and there are crew members like that. They
Speaker 1: understand that, especially stand up comics like a crew member
Speaker 1: on Conan would understand this is like a chance is
Speaker 1: being given. There's a lot of pressure, but they know
Speaker 1: that ultimately it's like you're here to do what you do.
Speaker 1: You got picked because you're good. But the idea that
Speaker 1: they're then conveying that to you like you've got this, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just love that. Or I felt I had the
Speaker 1: same experience with those with the crew on Conan, where
Speaker 1: they're just like, there, you do it, and they they
Speaker 1: allow you to kind of like entertain them. They're not
Speaker 1: like jaded or looking down or anything. They're in it
Speaker 1: with you.
Speaker 4: It's beautiful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were, and they know what they're doing.
Speaker 3: When I the first thing I did was Kimmel and
Speaker 3: that was a new show.
Speaker 2: It was live with like a radio delay.
Speaker 3: Button and there was a you had to walk out
Speaker 3: on a catwalk that wasn't even near the audience. They
Speaker 3: could choose to wrench their neck ninety degrees to look
Speaker 3: at you or just not look at you, which most
Speaker 3: of them did. And at the last minute, Super Dave
Speaker 3: Osborne went too long with something and the guy, instead
Speaker 3: of saying, hey, that's a nice sweater, said hey, can
Speaker 3: you do a couple minutes less or come back tomorrow.
Speaker 2: I don't even think it was his call. And I
Speaker 2: said I can't.
Speaker 3: I have to leave town tomorrow, and he's like, okay,
Speaker 3: just do less time, and so I did different jokes
Speaker 3: and the prompter person was freaking out and pointing out
Speaker 3: the cards as if I were had lost my mind,
Speaker 3: and they bleeped me like a whole sentence.
Speaker 2: I thought it went well.
Speaker 3: I went to a bar to watch it and it
Speaker 3: was just like because.
Speaker 1: You were talking about something you can't talk about.
Speaker 3: I don't fully remember, but I didn't swear, and they
Speaker 3: beat it like I said, shit, fuck ass poop.
Speaker 1: Well, huh, I wonder if you were talking about like
Speaker 1: an area that there said Jesus oh as an exploited
Speaker 1: But also that's so ridiculous that the stage manager would
Speaker 1: be the one saying, can you do extra time?
Speaker 2: Exactly?
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying, like it was his call, and
Speaker 3: I don't think it is his call.
Speaker 1: Well, but it would unless him doing that independently would
Speaker 1: not be happening. It's the director talking through him.
Speaker 3: Oh perhaps, okayeah, well then I feel better, but I'm
Speaker 3: about to make a noise.
Speaker 2: Oh that was a bodily function. A lot of people
Speaker 2: think I'm opening a soda.
Speaker 1: But that was one of Chris's specialty farts.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I have signatures, and that was one of my specialty signatures.
Speaker 1: The barbecue.
Speaker 2: To play Frisbee or Cornal.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the barbecue at the Cornal this okay, wait,
Speaker 1: what's the address?
Speaker 3: I looked at it on Google Maps and so I
Speaker 3: will know what it looks like.
Speaker 1: You did.
Speaker 2: Okay, I think it might be here on.
Speaker 4: The right and it is.
Speaker 1: Okay, great, this is it free?
Speaker 2: So yeah, I do my research. I look at a
Speaker 2: picture of the home.
Speaker 1: Creepy.
Speaker 2: Excuse me.
Speaker 3: That was a quick pickup, Yes, it was. My fear
Speaker 3: is that I've said everything I've said in the past,
Speaker 3: because I have two patent to our our audience. But
Speaker 3: it's been decades and by that I mean five six
Speaker 3: years since I retold.
Speaker 2: That last story.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I don't even remember that last story.
Speaker 2: Okay, good, yeah, yeah, yeah good.
Speaker 1: That means to me, I'll immediately start criticizing you if
Speaker 1: you're doing something incorrect.
Speaker 3: And I'm I'm constantly in a state of fear because.
Speaker 2: And I thank you.
Speaker 1: It's great for podcasting, it.
Speaker 2: Is, it is. What would a mobile podcast be without.
Speaker 1: Fear, without fear and pressure?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: He does clubs and colleges across the country. Everyone Alex Bennett.
Speaker 4: To go on Alex Bennett or just stay We're going
Speaker 4: on like everyone else on the show.
Speaker 1: Depending, Hi guys, Hi Pat are you still.
Speaker 4: Coming from Teluca Lake or have you moved? Karen?
Speaker 1: I am also now where I am in the same
Speaker 1: city you live in?
Speaker 4: What Yes, we're like two minutes from each other. Yes,
Speaker 4: everyone lives your Seth Green and his wife lived down here.
Speaker 4: Flannagan lives here. I like Seth Green, Seth Green. Zoe
Speaker 4: Lister Jones is down the street. I see her out
Speaker 4: on my walks, on my perambulations that you do when
Speaker 4: you're fifty.
Speaker 1: Four and you got to move that.
Speaker 4: There are a lot of flat streets here, a nice
Speaker 4: flat ones now day, then I'll do that. It's my ankle.
Speaker 1: My ankles can't do those hills.
Speaker 4: I can go uphill fights the down hill, Oh my god, yeah,
Speaker 4: you're not yours.
Speaker 2: We're all warned about going down.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And where are you living now, Chris?
Speaker 3: I am thank you for asking that you. I was
Speaker 3: in Venice Beach for like seventeen years, and I now
Speaker 3: live in Echo Park where they shot the movie Training Day,
Speaker 3: right on those streets. Yeah, right where Denzel's yelling at
Speaker 3: Ethan Hawk while they're front and in front of my garages.
Speaker 4: So you went, you went from both ends of the
Speaker 4: Bohemian spectrum, Vennis and then Echo Park.
Speaker 2: Yes, I really yeah.
Speaker 3: And I find it covered to be friendlier and more
Speaker 3: of a community. I love where I live. Oh that's great, Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's terrific.
Speaker 4: The only thing I need to do. If we could
Speaker 4: stop by Flair Cleaners on Laurel Canyon, I'm going down
Speaker 4: there to do all right. Otherwise, let's just drive around.
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, maybe go further up north Laurel Canyon to
Speaker 4: where it's weird.
Speaker 1: Should we go?
Speaker 4: Where do you want to go?
Speaker 1: I mean we could go there. We could also go
Speaker 1: down mulholland we could do a little classic La drive.
Speaker 1: Come around.
Speaker 2: You're so right, let's do Should we do that?
Speaker 4: God? Damn it? Yes, that's way better. You know what?
Speaker 4: Fuck it? Make a left, I'll get I can get
Speaker 4: Flair Cleaners tomorrow. I got all day open.
Speaker 1: We can do both. We can do both.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can do it.
Speaker 4: Well, let's do Mohan and we loop back around. We'll
Speaker 4: grab it.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's talk about David Lynch movies, and then we'll go.
Speaker 4: Get your suits press.
Speaker 2: When did you get done at the dry cleaners?
Speaker 4: A bunch of shirts and a couple of them. I
Speaker 4: had some labels removed because they have those The gap
Speaker 4: puts like fifteen unnecessary labels down on the right scene yep,
Speaker 4: And and they're just flapping around and smell you when
Speaker 4: you're walking around, Like what is theo that was Karen's call.
Speaker 2: Actually she used to work at the Gap.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, for real, please explain to people how to
Speaker 1: iron this over and over in every language that you
Speaker 1: can come up with.
Speaker 4: And then let's also have a pocket with spare buttons
Speaker 4: in it for no reason. Yeah, because, as you know,
Speaker 4: twenty somethings love to darn and sew. That's what they
Speaker 4: always do.
Speaker 2: I have never ever used those spare buttons.
Speaker 4: No, no, why are you giving If I lose a button,
Speaker 4: it's lost?
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: Or also you can just open your drunk drawer and
Speaker 1: find like a kind of purlescent button to replace it.
Speaker 4: Exactly.
Speaker 1: They're not rare, although thank you to the Gap for
Speaker 1: even being that considerate, because you would think that they
Speaker 1: would be like, get your own.
Speaker 4: Buttons, right, yeah, but they're not. Yeah, and they also
Speaker 4: wanted to give gen X the illusion that we were
Speaker 4: somehow self reliant. Here here's what we've also added a
Speaker 4: little sew inc it great? Yeah yeah yeah, I'll be
Speaker 4: getting rid of this as well.
Speaker 3: Take the needle, the tiny tomato pin cushion, and do
Speaker 3: what all your grandma's taught you.
Speaker 4: Well, I have a thumb ring with a little mushroom
Speaker 4: cat that I that I needle pointed, and that's where
Speaker 4: I keep all my supplies.
Speaker 3: I wonder I would like to know on a calendar
Speaker 3: when the last time a thimble was used.
Speaker 4: Oh, that's a good question.
Speaker 1: I mean down at a like Milton Edies, you know
Speaker 1: where they do alterations twenty four hours. That's one of
Speaker 1: my favorite things. I used to live by and listener.
Speaker 1: Milton Edies is a very famous kind of Hollywood in Burbank,
Speaker 1: h Taylor, where you can go there twenty four hours
Speaker 1: a day and get your ship fixed, although it'll cost
Speaker 1: you eighty dollars minimum no matter what it is.
Speaker 4: Yes, but I bet they get a lot of meth
Speaker 4: heads that at two am decide to go through their closets. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna reorganize, gonna alter some things, Yeah, and they
Speaker 4: take them off. I used to go to Milton Needies
Speaker 4: all the time, to the point where I just stopped
Speaker 4: eating that goddamn popcorn that because I would eat it
Speaker 4: and then I would just have greasy fingers and then
Speaker 4: get my clothes all messed up again like an idiot.
Speaker 1: I remember, I remember Danny Sebaio's for do I remember
Speaker 1: a true legend?
Speaker 2: I remember the name, And I don't even know Danny Sebi.
Speaker 1: He was, Oh boy, he's the greatest non stand up
Speaker 1: comic hangout person in our group.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: He was one of the there's that weird subgroup of
Speaker 4: the non comics that are just as funny as the comics.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was that guy. And him when he and
Speaker 1: his wife Sarah got married, I was a bridesmaid and
Speaker 1: and she she asked me to be a bridesmaid, which
Speaker 1: is really nice. And of course six months prior when
Speaker 1: she asked me, we all want to try on bridesmaid's dresses.
Speaker 1: And I was so embarrassed because I mean it was
Speaker 1: like not just strapless and sleeveless, but it like it
Speaker 1: only just hooked around your neck, like it was high
Speaker 1: pressure of kind of bridesmaid challenge. And so I left.
Speaker 4: They were challenged dresses.
Speaker 1: They were challenge dresses of what do you actually want
Speaker 1: to look like when you show up for this thing?
Speaker 1: So I immediately went on the most intense starvation diet,
Speaker 1: to the point where when I walked in for the wedding.
Speaker 5: All the people that knew me went, oh, oh God, okay, Karen, Karen,
Speaker 5: Karen juice, let me check your get her a saline
Speaker 5: and right down.
Speaker 1: But I had to take that dress. So I was
Speaker 1: doing it thinking, oh, hopefully I can just like my
Speaker 1: arms will be slightly small or whatever. I had to
Speaker 1: take that dress into Milton Eaties and get it. This
Speaker 1: woman's like folding the things over going, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: why did you buy the dress so big? And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can't explain this, I can't talk to you about this.
Speaker 2: Wow, look at this ankle rolling vista.
Speaker 1: Get up there, climb up there, you little goats.
Speaker 4: I remember Karen and I were in Seattle for some reason.
Speaker 1: I was opening for you or was it bumber shoes?
Speaker 4: Great word to say in Terry Lewis. But Danny would
Speaker 4: do this character called the Contessa and it was this
Speaker 4: old like wealthy dowager and are you people dumb? And
Speaker 4: we were. We were in some vintage clothing store and
Speaker 4: we saw a hat and we both went the Contessa
Speaker 4: and we bought it. We brought it back for him.
Speaker 4: I just remember like that, that's how funny.
Speaker 1: That guy was that because normally the hat that he
Speaker 1: would make would be like a napkin. He would pick up.
Speaker 1: Where we were at a party at Laura Milligan's house
Speaker 1: and he would just pick a napkin up wrap it
Speaker 1: around his head. Because that's how you knew how drunk
Speaker 1: he was. Oh that he would turn into the contesta
Speaker 1: and start yelling at people.
Speaker 4: Exactly why isn't everyone paying attention to me?
Speaker 1: And remember when I think you actually put in a
Speaker 1: video because it was some It was like the compilation
Speaker 1: of bloopers from CNN or whatever. So we all sat
Speaker 1: down to watch TV in the middle of his party,
Speaker 1: and he walked in, stood in front of the TV
Speaker 1: with this weird raincoat around his head and what are
Speaker 1: you people don't Yes, that's right, he was so mad
Speaker 1: we were watching TV.
Speaker 4: Oh god, yeah. Boy. When he would get drunk, he
Speaker 4: went all the way. I remember seeing John Mattat like
Speaker 4: carrying him out of the Uh oh my god, what
Speaker 4: was the place the cat in the fiddle? Oh yeah,
Speaker 4: like literally like he had picked up a mannequin and
Speaker 4: was like, like at squares, but like we're changing the mannequins.
Speaker 4: He would like pick Danny was so slim and light. Yeah,
Speaker 4: you could just pick him up. Well, we got to
Speaker 4: take him somewhere you can't walk, and so amored. Oh
Speaker 4: my god, Danny. What's Danny doing now? So is he
Speaker 4: still married?
Speaker 1: He's still married and his wife is a musicologist. She
Speaker 1: got a job as a professor. I think it's called
Speaker 1: Lawrence College and Appleton, Wisconsin. So they live way fucking
Speaker 1: north in Wisconsin and he's and they've there for like
Speaker 1: it's been fifteen years probably and they love it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it just does sets it's skyline.
Speaker 4: Yeah, or he goes he goes to the local supermarket,
Speaker 4: not the chain one, but the mom and pop and
Speaker 4: just and every now and then he'll kind of half
Speaker 4: go into the contesta like glas as Zuchinis, like just
Speaker 4: undertick too soon. Damn, Yeah, my god.
Speaker 1: I miss that. I miss people doing characters.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we would. There was always people would go into
Speaker 4: just whatever at a party and it didn't have to
Speaker 4: necessarily go anywhere.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I miss that too, like during stand up,
Speaker 3: not as a TikTok persona.
Speaker 4: And again you know what, And it was all it
Speaker 4: was truly for ourselves because we weren't tiktoking or posting shit, right,
Speaker 4: it was just we're amusing ourselves right now. Yes, and
Speaker 4: this is all going into the ether.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was the big because of everything was a
Speaker 1: big riff contest, So it was like, what can you
Speaker 1: bring if you're just going to do regular hard jokes,
Speaker 1: will then stand over there because I'm about to unveil
Speaker 1: my new character.
Speaker 2: You're right, there was a time as weird.
Speaker 3: As I and not well received occasionally as I can
Speaker 3: be in a mainstream setting. I felt sometimes like I
Speaker 3: was some road hack because I was wanting to do
Speaker 3: my bits and everyone else was like, well, I bought
Speaker 3: a box of crackers. I'm going to be the rints
Speaker 3: because I just picked these up, and I felt and
Speaker 3: I'm just talking about way later. For me, it just
Speaker 3: used to be an embar Yeah, I am I putting
Speaker 3: am I. I memorized all these things and then the
Speaker 3: next week I could just be chewing it at the
Speaker 3: comedy store.
Speaker 2: I liked that.
Speaker 4: There's that right, Yeah. I remember there was a There
Speaker 4: used to be a message board called a Special Thing,
Speaker 4: and it was kind of very mbar Largo centric. Yeah,
Speaker 4: all the all the m bar Largo fans, like the
Speaker 4: alt comedy fan base was on this message board, and
Speaker 4: a lot of us would go on there and just
Speaker 4: you know, answer fans and talked about something. But I
Speaker 4: would remember them. They would review m Bar shows every week,
Speaker 4: like you would do the Nbar and you'd come home
Speaker 4: and go on that message board. In like an hour later,
Speaker 4: someone had written up the entire show. Yes, but I
Speaker 4: remember one night and this is no slam on anyone
Speaker 4: in this, but it was. It was a night where
Speaker 4: everyone went up and just absolutely killed. Boom boom boom.
Speaker 4: And David Cross went up and he was trying a
Speaker 4: but he goes, I'm trying a munch new stuff because
Speaker 4: he was working on a new special and a lot
Speaker 4: of the new stuff just didn't work. It just didn't land.
Speaker 4: He didn't have a great set. Still David Cross, still funny,
Speaker 4: but it just didn't work. And so this guy wrote
Speaker 4: there's review and he's like the only you know. Everyone
Speaker 4: else went up all prepared and rehearsed, and it was disgusting.
Speaker 4: The only real comedian that night was David Cross. It
Speaker 4: was like he didn't but it was that ethos had
Speaker 4: leaked into the board. Yeah, like they anyone can go
Speaker 4: up and just get lashed. Actually no, you can't. Then
Speaker 4: that whole point of comedy. That's the hard thing to do.
Speaker 1: So it's quite rehearsed.
Speaker 2: Yes, was the review written by like David X.
Speaker 4: I don't think he ever went on those boards, don't do.
Speaker 4: There were some like very specific personalities that came out
Speaker 4: of that board that I feel a lot of them
Speaker 4: probably went all right years rolled on just as they
Speaker 4: became more disaffected, they suddenly just started posting on once
Speaker 4: that board closed. They're like, well, I guess it's storm
Speaker 4: front for me.
Speaker 3: How much is it to fly to Washington, DC? Yeah,
Speaker 3: I used to search for my name on there. I
Speaker 3: just I totally forgot about that until.
Speaker 4: You brought it up, and oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 3: That person kind of said something nice and I'd think
Speaker 3: about it.
Speaker 4: You could always see the early There were always rough
Speaker 4: drafts of the Internet out there. They just weren't there yet.
Speaker 4: Like I remember when there's when I was living in
Speaker 4: San Francisco. You I don't know if you ever did this, Karen,
Speaker 4: but there was a thing in the cafes for a
Speaker 4: while called the coffee Net and they were these little stations,
Speaker 4: little keyboards with a screen and you fed a quarter
Speaker 4: into a slot and then you could chat. It was
Speaker 4: just a chat room, and there were other monitors and
Speaker 4: keyboards in other coffee shops. That's all. It was. So
Speaker 4: there was never more than twelve people in the chat room,
Speaker 4: but Blaine and I and Mark Marin would put a
Speaker 4: stack of cour like we were immediately addicted to this,
Speaker 4: and you would think that I would observe, like, wait
Speaker 4: a minute, I'm in a coffee shop with my friends,
Speaker 4: and I'd rather feed quarters and just type non sequitors
Speaker 4: at these random people. There's clearly money in this. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and I just didn't even bother. Yeah, you could have
Speaker 4: been this will never catch on, hang on, I need
Speaker 4: this five dollar Can I get this in quarters? This
Speaker 4: five dollar bill?
Speaker 1: Thank you part of it that they figured out a
Speaker 1: way to make you pay for it, like that is hilarious, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: a quarter.
Speaker 4: It was like playing a video. A quarter got you
Speaker 4: ten minutes. And we would sit there and just and
Speaker 4: I was I think we had different names. I think
Speaker 4: I forgot what. But we would go on and just
Speaker 4: like start talking and then you get into arguments, and
Speaker 4: the arguments were But apparently back in the seventies and eighties,
Speaker 4: weren't their party.
Speaker 1: Lines on the phone.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and you could call up and just talk
Speaker 4: to people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that turned into the sex lines. Yeah, like.
Speaker 3: Thousands of women are waiting to talk to me, Wow, wow.
Speaker 4: Remember that. There's a scene in I think it's Shortcuts.
Speaker 4: Jennifer Jason Leigh is a phone sex operator where people
Speaker 4: just call up and she's saying the most filthy stuff
Speaker 4: and her either boyfriend or husband played by Chris Penn
Speaker 4: is clearly like she's making a lot of money for them,
Speaker 4: and he's like, why don't you never talk that way
Speaker 4: to me because it's disgusting, Like she's not personally attached
Speaker 4: to it, but it's like that's probably who you're talking
Speaker 4: to when you're on the sex lines.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I had a friend who did
Speaker 1: that really yeah, because it was really good money. So
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, it's like, yeah, you don't have
Speaker 1: to go be a waitress for eight hours. You can
Speaker 1: just do this for two and as long as you're
Speaker 1: willing to just be kind of gross and some guys
Speaker 1: being gross back to you, you make a bank. My
Speaker 1: friend was just like, yeah, who gives a ship. I'd
Speaker 1: way rather get this big payout and it's like worth
Speaker 1: her time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well that's like all the I don't know if
Speaker 4: those still exist. Cam girls, web girls. Oh yeah, wasn't
Speaker 4: that a whole thing?
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean that's now it's like the only fans accounts, right, yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh that's right. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't pretend you don't know.
Speaker 4: This is this is fucking oh, this is mortifying. Right
Speaker 4: When only fans started, when I had heard the term
Speaker 4: only fans, but I didn't know yet that it was
Speaker 4: for porn. I just thought only fans artists have a
Speaker 4: page and people paid to see your new work. And
Speaker 4: I was talking with Amy Mann and she was like, yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm trying to put this new album out, but you know,
Speaker 4: you gotta the labels are all collapsing, and you know,
Speaker 4: I don't know how to get the word out. And
Speaker 4: then I just said, well, you should start an only
Speaker 4: fans page, like in my mind, thinking because that's where
Speaker 4: you put She's like, what, I go where you put
Speaker 4: your music on? She goes, do you know what? Only
Speaker 4: but what? And the kid to explained. I'm like, oh jesus, right,
Speaker 4: that's not what I was saying.
Speaker 2: You know people do do that, though you're not off.
Speaker 4: Yeah, now they do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have seen that in recent days.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's someone who has an only fans page. Wait
Speaker 4: a minute, they just announced it and they're not like
Speaker 4: a porn person.
Speaker 1: Who No, there's people that are doing comedy specials on OnlyFans.
Speaker 2: Right why yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's I think I think Whitney Cummings produced a
Speaker 1: roast that I can't remember the person who is that? True? No, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think they're they're trying to basically like sidestep all
Speaker 1: the middlemen and all the people that take all their percentages.
Speaker 4: Exactly, just I'll put it up and pay whatever, or
Speaker 4: not even pay what you want. They're like Dana Gould
Speaker 4: has a Patreon, but it's like, I'm not doing levels,
Speaker 4: I'm not doing tears. It's five bucks a month and
Speaker 4: you get everything. Yeah, and when you do it that way,
Speaker 4: actually more people sign up. I'm because like, oh this
Speaker 4: is so easy.
Speaker 3: I'm not one hundred percent sold on it, and I
Speaker 3: might do it. Yeah it's good I want and then
Speaker 3: just have asualtry image that suggests I'm doing anything more
Speaker 3: interesting high everybody.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 4: Then there's also writers that have sub stacks and you
Speaker 4: pay for that every month and they're like, I don't
Speaker 4: need to worry about getting it published. You want to
Speaker 4: read my stuff here it is.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all the self publishing stuff that's going on.
Speaker 1: Also Cameo, where you can if people want you to
Speaker 1: say happy birth there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, although from what I heard, cameo can end up
Speaker 4: taking over your life, like it is, what so much work?
Speaker 4: It becomes your Well, it's not that it's so much work.
Speaker 4: If you have any kind of cachet, you will get
Speaker 4: you know, one hundred of quests today and you're like, well,
Speaker 4: I'm here, you know, it becomes an eight hour workday
Speaker 4: during the guy who played like one of the characters
Speaker 4: on Office Space and not obviously the Office, the American
Speaker 4: Office who's the tall bald guy kind of talks like,
Speaker 4: oh yeah, yeah, he made a million dollars a year
Speaker 4: on Cameo.
Speaker 1: Holy shit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And people basically just ask him to say the
Speaker 4: same phrase over and over and he just sits in
Speaker 4: his house and does it.
Speaker 1: Hell yes, I mean, get that bag however you can
Speaker 1: get it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was in Portland and there's this skateboarding Jesus guy.
Speaker 2: He rides along for just one's.
Speaker 6: There's competing skateboard That's all he's talked about was the
Speaker 6: other skateboarding Jesus' and he but he we did a
Speaker 6: little interview and he's very sweet and He took me
Speaker 6: to his office and he had a whole setup.
Speaker 3: One was for Cameo and then all these other apps.
Speaker 3: He did them for churches. He did, and he wasn't
Speaker 3: like a Christian guy, but he he did it.
Speaker 1: Very much for wow, for churches like, hey, guys, Jesus here,
Speaker 1: I highly recommend St. Andrews. Yes, right, Eucharist.
Speaker 4: Always just got some fresh trucks on the board.
Speaker 3: He did it in the many Texas high school football teams.
Speaker 3: Oh really he did, wow, And it made me whoever
Speaker 3: was requesting those obviously had a sense of humor because
Speaker 3: he wasn't that serious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm like, well, he must be doing it
Speaker 2: for the cool church.
Speaker 1: But you're saying skateboarding Jesus is not evangelical.
Speaker 4: No, no, it was.
Speaker 3: I mean he put a little like kind of a
Speaker 3: bed skirt around his skateboard so it looked like he
Speaker 3: was floating.
Speaker 2: Yes, I love him. The skateboard was shaped like a crucifix. Yeah,
Speaker 2: of course, so you could take someone out at the ankle.
Speaker 4: I know, I know.
Speaker 2: I didn't throw a log on the fire at church camp.
Speaker 3: I was offended, but he made such a living and
Speaker 3: told me, here's what you need to do, and that's
Speaker 3: when I signed up for Cameo and yes, during quarantine,
Speaker 3: even just for me, it was a daily thing and
Speaker 3: sometimes they were, oh, you have twenty.
Speaker 2: Four hours to do this, and it's our sweet fans.
Speaker 4: Yeah it was wow, But yeah.
Speaker 2: I kind of dried up because you have to advertise it.
Speaker 4: I've been pitched a couple of cruises. I've never been
Speaker 4: in a cruise and I'll never do one, but I
Speaker 4: did stand up to do yo. Yeah, stand up and
Speaker 4: music cruises or a very big thing.
Speaker 1: It's good money, right, yeah.
Speaker 4: And especially here's what's amazing. So many of our alt
Speaker 4: rock nineties heroes are either doing the soundtracks for children's shows.
Speaker 4: Kay Hanley from Letters to Cleo does Doc mcstuffians and
Speaker 4: I'm not kidding she does not MC stuff. That's awesome,
Speaker 4: and they might be giants. Does Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah they always did, yeah yeah yeah. But now
Speaker 2: there are these cruises I know that like three eleven.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like they will do and it's it's it's it's
Speaker 4: no different than like when there's a package torn now
Speaker 4: of all your Like there was that thing that was
Speaker 4: just touring with like the Cure and ye just like yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: where it's they just we're going to it's package nostalgia. Yeah.
Speaker 4: And the artists that are honored I apparently make banks.
Speaker 4: They're like why not? Why wouldn't I do this?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 4: But but there's something about a cruise, because isn't there
Speaker 4: a specific kind of person that likes to go on
Speaker 4: a cruise? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Well, it's it's really good. The marketing concept is amazing
Speaker 1: because they're probably pulling in all these people who would
Speaker 1: never go on a cruise. Oh yeah right, they're tapping
Speaker 1: in new markets that kind of stuff.
Speaker 4: Yeah, makes sense. I just can't imagine Julianna Hatfield's fans,
Speaker 4: you know, wanting like salivating for the all night buffet
Speaker 4: and going, God, I hope she does a Babe.
Speaker 1: Today wandering and she's like, because I'm ugly, so upset.
Speaker 4: She's not ugly.
Speaker 1: She's not ugly. And plus, look at the ambrosia, Marie,
Speaker 1: keep your voice down. She's singing a ballot.
Speaker 3: Ambrosia is like that lime green yellow marshmallowy.
Speaker 4: Like like cool whip. It's it's just that we have
Speaker 4: a bunch of cold things in the fridge.
Speaker 1: That's just mad togetheres grapes down.
Speaker 4: In that basically sugar water, Yes, just just soaking in
Speaker 4: sugar water.
Speaker 1: It's the stuff that if it gets left out at
Speaker 1: a barbecue on a picnic table, don't eat that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, or if it gets left out, it ferments
Speaker 4: and the kids can catch a tiny buzz man like,
Speaker 4: oh that was, mommy, that was the oranges were fizzy.
Speaker 2: We're just saving money on your penicillain.
Speaker 4: Yeah that.
Speaker 3: I don't know if i'd want to do my subtle word,
Speaker 3: make them ups in front of it, you know, oz
Speaker 3: fest just.
Speaker 4: I remember when I was eight, I was visiting my
Speaker 4: grandparents in Arizona and we all went out to dinner
Speaker 4: one night with my Aunt Debbie. And Aunt Debbie ordered
Speaker 4: a uh Vodkatonic and I ordered a seven up. And
Speaker 4: it was the late seventies and all the all the
Speaker 4: glasses were just the same, there was no and they
Speaker 4: put her Vodkatonic in front of me and my seven
Speaker 4: up in front of her, and I wasn't really you know,
Speaker 4: like seven or eight. I just straws in and I
Speaker 4: drink like half of it without even thinking of it
Speaker 4: me while my Aunt Debbie is sipping her as she goes, man,
Speaker 4: they really make great fun jes fantastic. It's just but
Speaker 4: it took her a second, like she got maybe a
Speaker 4: fourth way through it, and then she looked at me
Speaker 4: and was like, no, no, no, no grab it. But
Speaker 4: I I remember, I remember distinctly getting a weird little
Speaker 4: buzz because I didn't. I just drank at how old
Speaker 4: seven or eight?
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that is when you're shirtless dancing on the piano.
Speaker 4: That's so great, diving into the ballpit.
Speaker 2: I actually.
Speaker 1: Put your shirt back on.
Speaker 4: What are you doing? God?
Speaker 1: An Italian restaurant, just swimming in.
Speaker 2: Lord.
Speaker 4: So to the listeners that can't that have no visual
Speaker 4: to that, we are heading east on Venture Boulevard and
Speaker 4: Ventura Studio City is where all of the hipsters who
Speaker 4: aged out of Los Felice have moved. Because we're about
Speaker 4: to enter an area of Ventura Boulevard where the restaurants
Speaker 4: and coffee shops are actually kind of good, and there
Speaker 4: was a weird migration of services over here. Oh my god. Yeah,
Speaker 4: there's Mark's Garden Marks beautifully decorated. But there's a bunch
Speaker 4: of restaurants along here that are great, like shockingly great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I every time I drive down that street,
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm gonna hang out over here.
Speaker 4: Yeah, wait a minute, I never do. Because if you
Speaker 4: have Echo Park Park, there's pet Tit Twa. That's the
Speaker 4: guys who do animal That's her little French place. Amazing.
Speaker 4: There is a little pub there, the one up that
Speaker 4: has got video games and really good pub food. The
Speaker 4: Woodman is really tasty, coming up on our left, and
Speaker 4: a second will be a place got please put please
Speaker 4: put your headphones off out. But there's a place coming
Speaker 4: up called Wood and Water that is so goddamn good,
Speaker 4: just amazing food, just amazing dinner. And then they do
Speaker 4: like Sunday brunch, but all of their food is fantastic.
Speaker 4: And it's on Ventura in the goddamn valley and you
Speaker 4: do not expect it to be that good, and it is.
Speaker 4: It's right past men che See.
Speaker 1: And there's a home state over here, and yes, there's.
Speaker 3: A home state in which if you are from Austin
Speaker 3: and you moved to Los Angeles and you miss hot
Speaker 3: bowls of.
Speaker 2: Cheese, which which used to I used to eat so
Speaker 2: much of it.
Speaker 3: You had a slight limp. Martha Kelly and I would
Speaker 3: eat she would just call me up.
Speaker 2: She would just call me up and go, Hi, fair Banks,
Speaker 2: you want to get a big bull.
Speaker 4: Of cheese, Like, yeah, we might want to do it,
Speaker 4: and you're like, but I have gouts it my foot
Speaker 4: is numb. I'm like to live you Coleman in.
Speaker 1: The Favors right now, be get me my bunnies.
Speaker 4: We also just passed on our lapt back there Cosavega,
Speaker 4: which is the site of many a nineteen seventies drunken debauchery.
Speaker 4: I think Cosavega features in Licorice Pizza. It does, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: they all drinking.
Speaker 2: Line on the tip of my tongue. And then other
Speaker 2: than that, just like the movie Barfly or something, Well
Speaker 2: that's all downtown.
Speaker 4: Although I also think Cosavega is in a once upon
Speaker 4: a time in Hollywood. I think they go drinking there.
Speaker 1: I also went. I went to dinner there once in
Speaker 1: the nineties before I stopped drinking, and I forgot that
Speaker 1: I had even been there. So then the next time
Speaker 1: people are like, should we go to Cosavega, I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've never been there, and whoever was with me it
Speaker 1: was like we were there last month, and what is
Speaker 1: wrong with you?
Speaker 2: Nothing?
Speaker 1: Nothing is wrong with me until I decide there's something
Speaker 1: super wrong with me.
Speaker 4: Can't a girl decide when she bought him out?
Speaker 1: All black out as many times as.
Speaker 4: I need to. You do not blackout. Explain to me
Speaker 4: this is sexist, this is very And then of course
Speaker 4: you have the class still the classic Valley five guys,
Speaker 4: Western Bagel, Starbucks like boom boom boom. Also then you
Speaker 4: got but then there's an out for.
Speaker 1: Coffee, Alfred.
Speaker 2: It's all border.
Speaker 4: There's a Jones on third over off of Laurel Canyon.
Speaker 1: Now that place is the greatest.
Speaker 4: Oh my god. If you want to go see pissed
Speaker 4: off people about to go audition at CBS Radford, that
Speaker 4: is where you go.
Speaker 1: And the and the people who aren't going to choose
Speaker 1: them for their projects.
Speaker 4: They're also there, all sitting together putting their punch cards in.
Speaker 3: Well, gotta go fire you now also pass on you
Speaker 3: Sportsman's Lodge hotel they have like a pool side.
Speaker 2: You can just go there. You don't need to even
Speaker 2: be in a room.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think that that the hotel's there anymore
Speaker 1: though it's now.
Speaker 2: It didn't look like it was in great shape.
Speaker 4: It's well, no, they refurbished the Who, But is the
Speaker 4: actual hotel there?
Speaker 1: Didn't they turn it into like an Equinox strip mop Yes, yeah.
Speaker 4: They did, but the pool side thing is still there. Oh,
Speaker 4: it is one of my favorite names. Muffin can stop us? Right,
Speaker 4: that's not real that we just passed Muffin can stop it?
Speaker 1: Are you serious?
Speaker 4: It's right next to Element's pharmacy. Why can I pay
Speaker 4: three hundred dollars for my COVID vaccine? That's why you
Speaker 4: want to go to Element's pharmacy where the stars.
Speaker 2: I want that to be a tailor.
Speaker 4: I don't want to go get it for free at CVS,
Speaker 4: like I'm some kind of proll. Well, then you want
Speaker 4: to head down to Element's pharmacy.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of wordplay on We built the
Speaker 1: city so hard right now that my brain is bleeding.
Speaker 4: God damn. I mean, you know there was always that Who.
Speaker 4: There was some road comic. I'm sure that what we
Speaker 4: built this titty. Yes, we built this titty on sil
Speaker 4: you know somebody. Yeah, there's no way they did.
Speaker 2: Think it was Mark Cohen didn't kill He did a
Speaker 2: parody of like here make fun of those guys. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but then it's the funniest thing in the world to me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he would do it to make fun of it,
Speaker 4: but it always kill Also.
Speaker 1: He would do it in the middle of a party
Speaker 1: everyone had just smoked pot, and then he would pick
Speaker 1: up a guitar and be making eye contact with you,
Speaker 1: like the craziest person on the planet.
Speaker 4: And he's like this kid, I can't do this right
Speaker 4: now to whoop away constipation. You always ate the rays
Speaker 4: and coco. Please, I'm so goddamn high right now, Blaine
Speaker 4: brought some lighter weed and I cannot please just stop,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna die.
Speaker 3: I have three other versions in my head, but they're
Speaker 3: offensive now I can't right them.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: He always made me laugh the funniest. Oh god, I
Speaker 3: think he's now got a regular Vegas.
Speaker 4: Yes, he has a residency somewhere.
Speaker 1: Oh great.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and look, Oh there's the Licorice Pizza pop up
Speaker 4: store on a right, nice arts delicatess And oh I
Speaker 4: got to go back to breakfast there. I love that place.
Speaker 2: Are you do regularly? Do stand up in Vegas? Paton?
Speaker 4: Not as as? Oh, by the way, Annabel's Book Club
Speaker 4: on our right, amazing tween young adult bookstore. Oh, amazing,
Speaker 4: nice I don't do as much stand up as I
Speaker 4: would like in Vegas. I like to go in there
Speaker 4: and do like one show. I just don't like a
Speaker 4: lot of the clubs. They would like you to come
Speaker 4: in Monday through Friday, and that drives me insane.
Speaker 3: No, I'm I would assume you're doing one show and
Speaker 3: then getting out, since I'm guessing you're not a.
Speaker 4: Guy like me. I love Vegas, but not after two days,
Speaker 4: right then I got to get out. Yeah. Oh, by
Speaker 4: the way, I'm Karen Blasphemer pass. Coming up on the
Speaker 4: right is Wasteland.
Speaker 1: Get me an outfit now.
Speaker 4: My daughter is now obsessed with Wasteland. Loves it so exciting.
Speaker 4: I got her a gift certificate for Easter. She's so excited.
Speaker 2: I feel like I went there when I first Has
Speaker 2: that been there a long time?
Speaker 4: Wild?
Speaker 1: Not that long, but yeah, like ten years maybe?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I like the Wasteland on hate oh.
Speaker 1: Because Wasteland is like a It's like a bit of
Speaker 1: a step up Crossroads. Yes, cross Roads is more like
Speaker 1: you need to pay your rent so you have to
Speaker 1: get rid of like the new issues you.
Speaker 4: Wasteland is more curated, yes, yes.
Speaker 1: And Wasteland's more like you're some sort of a NEPO
Speaker 1: baby trust fund kid and you've been cut off, so
Speaker 1: you have to start slowly selling your produst ship.
Speaker 4: That's why I know, right Yeah. And also at Wasteland
Speaker 4: you have a you actually have a better chance of
Speaker 4: getting some good things for yourself to buy. At Crossroads,
Speaker 4: the really good ship comes in is clearly nabbed by
Speaker 4: the employees. Never make it to the rack, Yeah for sure.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: They I remember going there with a bag of clothes
Speaker 3: and I'm like, I'm going to make a killing, and
Speaker 3: they turned down.
Speaker 2: All of it. And I was like, like, these are
Speaker 2: specific skate brands. It's a streak Where ever heard of Streak?
Speaker 4: Where? Yeh uh? Ever heard of Gator?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I know, I keep going a little more of it, right, the.
Speaker 2: Flair, I very much like that. You just brought up
Speaker 2: Mark Gator ra man he lost his mind and killed So, yes.
Speaker 1: I almost killed two people.
Speaker 2: For the record, we are going to the cleaner.
Speaker 1: Take it. We're literally taking to the cleaners.
Speaker 4: When I remember, keep in mind, I'm going to listen
Speaker 4: to this podcast later, so whatever you say about me
Speaker 4: when i'm later.
Speaker 1: In the nineties, Pattern was such a slut for the
Speaker 1: door shows. Oh man fit it in there, but I
Speaker 1: just got like five restaurant recommendations.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3: That's his instinct to do a street tour. Yes, people
Speaker 3: like it, even though they can't see it. We're talking
Speaker 3: about You're right, people like that.
Speaker 2: What was the muffing? Muffin can stop me?
Speaker 1: Muffin can stop us, which also isn't not to argue
Speaker 1: because it's a great name. Although if you actually look
Speaker 1: at it, you're saying it can stop you. Maybe that
Speaker 1: is good because you're like muffin. Nothing can stop us
Speaker 1: except for a muffin.
Speaker 2: Yes, and by stop as it means pull over and.
Speaker 1: Get one, get come and stop and get us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Oh that's the best.
Speaker 2: Look at those fun Prince, those are fun shirts.
Speaker 1: True professional.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we want to clean. Other words, you got to
Speaker 4: do well. I gotta do the whole goddamn thing again.
Speaker 4: Go back in your house.
Speaker 1: We'll pull up, go back to Mulholland.
Speaker 4: Boy. Hey, have Chris Karen have aither of you together
Speaker 4: or alone played Vegas?
Speaker 2: I know haven't for a long time, but you played it.
Speaker 3: Yes, just opening for people. I've never had my own
Speaker 3: private showcase. I haven't done Brad Garrett's Yet I.
Speaker 4: Did way back in the day. I did The Riviera
Speaker 4: when it was booked by Steve Shirippa from The Sopranos.
Speaker 4: He was the booker really and oh god, and that's
Speaker 4: that's the one where you came in Monday morning and
Speaker 4: you worked Monday through Sunday and you and you got
Speaker 4: the little card that would let you into that weird
Speaker 4: there's that. There's that subterranean tunnels where you Materia. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: it's really bizarre. It's it's a world. It's a city
Speaker 4: underneath the hotel that the workers live in.
Speaker 3: Well, now I know how many times I've worked there,
Speaker 3: because many times I've eaten down there. I just am
Speaker 3: not remembering the details of the show, which was a
Speaker 3: bad show.
Speaker 4: Is the one thing about Vegas that they will tell
Speaker 4: you is, you know, just do fifteen minutes. We just
Speaker 4: want them back on the floor. You don't need to
Speaker 4: do it like we just get him out there, which I.
Speaker 2: Wish they were just telling you that. It's much less pressure.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I also remember that was the Riviera. Was the
Speaker 4: first time I came off stage and the manager, Steve Strippa,
Speaker 4: just went, fuck these people, they're idiots, like, because that's
Speaker 4: how badly I done. It's just like them, don't worry
Speaker 4: about it.
Speaker 3: There for a little while, these guys that did the
Speaker 3: Ramada in basement show?
Speaker 2: What where there was? It was? Yeah, on Vermont it
Speaker 2: was wait, I know that place?
Speaker 4: There was a show there?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 4: Oh lord, and it was totally haunted there. I wait,
Speaker 4: what what the fuck was in the basement? Was it
Speaker 4: a theater or there's a little bar down there? Oh yeah.
Speaker 3: And these guys had a show suddenly at the Palms
Speaker 3: Casino where.
Speaker 4: Sorry, they had a show suddenly.
Speaker 3: They suddenly they were like, hey, do you want to
Speaker 3: do our show at the Palms? And I drove to
Speaker 3: Vegas and Sean reaped the does that thing have a
Speaker 3: hemy mm hmm comic?
Speaker 2: And I were on this billboard and I ate it.
Speaker 3: So they were It was like NASCAR weekend and it
Speaker 3: was an audience of home depot jackets and they were
Speaker 3: screaming at me to get off stage, like I was
Speaker 3: eating it so hard. And John, who I don't didn't
Speaker 3: know that well, came out and said, this is my
Speaker 3: friend and you guys are being rude.
Speaker 2: To him, which just made everything worse.
Speaker 4: Your mom came to school bullies you're dead.
Speaker 2: Yeah it was I have never and it was hosted
Speaker 2: by a playboy bunny.
Speaker 4: Sure.
Speaker 2: That was the most. That's what I blocked out.
Speaker 3: I only remember eating with the staff in the underground.
Speaker 3: I remember why I took it out of my memory.
Speaker 1: Well, I just everyone I know that ever attempted to
Speaker 1: play Vegas. Almost everyone got fired, like a day or
Speaker 1: two in. That was always the story. People would be
Speaker 1: coming back like, yeah, they fired me.
Speaker 4: I made it through the whole week, which I wish
Speaker 4: I had because after a while, because you're in the casino,
Speaker 4: there's no windows, there's no clocks, you lose that circadian
Speaker 4: rhythm and you're just and there's nothing to do. After all,
Speaker 4: you think, oh, there's me, but there's actually not that
Speaker 4: much to do because you're doing a show at night.
Speaker 4: There's no bookstores, there's no movie theaters here. But they
Speaker 4: don't want you do They want people in the casinos.
Speaker 4: So you're like, I don't have anything to do, and
Speaker 4: you start to go crazy, like I'm down in that
Speaker 4: subterranean cafeteria at five o'clock having a bowl of fruit
Speaker 4: loops and some ravioli.
Speaker 1: I don't know what.
Speaker 4: Happens if I do this?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's dinner breakfast.
Speaker 3: It's breakfast, and I don't gamble, so I really I
Speaker 3: guess I'll smoke a pack of cigarettes.
Speaker 2: And that's elevator.
Speaker 4: Blaine told me. Blainco Patch told me that he did
Speaker 4: the Maximum Casino one time and he went up and
Speaker 4: he did really well, and he came off and the
Speaker 4: club owner was just glaring at him like murder, and
Speaker 4: Bla was like, Oh, I bet I cursed or said
Speaker 4: something he's not happy about. And then the guy just
Speaker 4: comes up to him and he goes, this is a
Speaker 4: hard shoe gig, like blame sneakers, hard shoe gig.
Speaker 2: Have you guys got the phrase hard shoe?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 4: It's all that old school like you're gonna those are
Speaker 4: your show clothes. The stuff you're wearing in the street,
Speaker 4: you just wear it, but those at your show clothes. Yeah, yeah, jeez.
Speaker 4: Like the guys that hang around backstage with no pants
Speaker 4: on because they want to keep the crease to the
Speaker 4: last second. That's what when you see like pictures of
Speaker 4: Jerry Lewis and Don Rickles, even at the end of
Speaker 4: their career, like when they're backstage, they they have the
Speaker 4: full dress shirt on in the jacket and no pants
Speaker 4: because when they came up, you put your pants on
Speaker 4: at the last possible second, so you went up with
Speaker 4: a really sharp crease. I mean, not weird.
Speaker 1: It's hilarious, but it's also like saying, I insist that
Speaker 1: it's seventy years ago and you have to be where
Speaker 1: I am where it's like Jesus, sir, hard shoes aren't
Speaker 1: a thing anymore.
Speaker 4: Hey, I didn't even know what that phrase meant. Yeah,
Speaker 4: you just threw me your insult through me because I
Speaker 4: didn't know, Well what was that? Oh my god, you
Speaker 4: had that great joke caring about your dad saying like
Speaker 4: you're funny Karen, but you're no Bob here, and you go,
Speaker 4: I don't even what is it. I don't know what
Speaker 4: to say to that because I don't know who he is.
Speaker 4: So why don't you sit down before you fall?
Speaker 2: The military promoter.
Speaker 1: So insane?
Speaker 4: Oh god, that that just made me laugh. I remember
Speaker 4: the first time I heard you say that, like, oh
Speaker 4: my god, you know what's really funny?
Speaker 1: I think recently I watched an episode of either Cheers
Speaker 1: or some eighties sitcom and I saw a person say
Speaker 1: sit down before you fall down. I was like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: I stole that. No, it was like in a it
Speaker 1: was in a like an old sitcom where I was like,
Speaker 1: that's why that was in my brain.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, wow, well enough time has passed. I'm yeah,
Speaker 3: jerious it was.
Speaker 4: It was in the air.
Speaker 1: That's that thing, like you know. Ross o'donald tells that
Speaker 1: story of that her first set, and she killed it
Speaker 1: was all Jerry Seinfeld's material that she had just seen
Speaker 1: on TV. And she thought, that's what That's how you
Speaker 1: did stand up is you just do.
Speaker 4: Jokes, hope, and you tell those jokes.
Speaker 1: You just tell jokes, you know.
Speaker 4: No, I like, here's some jokes. I like, yeah, you
Speaker 4: guys might like this one. I know I do.
Speaker 1: Apparently all the comics in the back were like horrifying,
Speaker 1: Like what are you doing?
Speaker 4: She's like, what I annihilated? I was watching as an
Speaker 4: old Warren Baty film called Mickey One that he made
Speaker 4: in the early sixties with Arthur Penney plays a stand
Speaker 4: up comedian who's on the run from the Bob. This
Speaker 4: is early sixties, and so there's a scene where he's
Speaker 4: hiding out in like a in like the lower part
Speaker 4: of showbiz, like he's hanging out in a strip club.
Speaker 4: So the strip club comedian goes up, who's like this
Speaker 4: old baggy pants style comedian, and Warren is drunk and
Speaker 4: he starts heckling him, and the guy starts using heckler
Speaker 4: comebacks on him, but Warren knows them all. At one
Speaker 4: point the guy goes and then again, this is movie
Speaker 4: made in the early sixties, and the character in the
Speaker 4: scene is someone who's been doing comedy since like the forties.
Speaker 4: That's what this is, you know, they're making fun of
Speaker 4: And he goes, I don't come to where you work.
Speaker 4: And then Warren goes and jiggle the mop handle like
Speaker 4: that's how.
Speaker 1: Old that fucking insult is?
Speaker 4: Wow, because that was everywhere in the eighties. I don't
Speaker 4: come to where you work. The slurping machine, Yeah, there's
Speaker 4: been It's almost like comedian Lord that's been passed down right,
Speaker 4: the weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's still comics that will do that work
Speaker 2: and not.
Speaker 1: Sure well and when you're desperate, I mean I remember
Speaker 1: there was I remember having to do colleges and freaking
Speaker 1: out because I had an LA thirty and a college
Speaker 1: five essentially.
Speaker 4: Yes, Oh my god, that's exactly. Yes.
Speaker 1: One of the worst feelings in the world where you're like,
Speaker 1: I actually don't have material. This is all personality based.
Speaker 4: Who gives a shit, it's all inside joke shit too. Yes.
Speaker 4: And about the industry yes, and.
Speaker 1: Stuff that like no one actually cares about in the
Speaker 1: real world.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 1: And having those like realizations on stage. And I remember
Speaker 1: before I left, Karen Anderson goes, you can do any
Speaker 1: of my material, and I absolutely went into her as
Speaker 1: I was like, it was like help car, seriously, I
Speaker 1: was drowning, and it just like, I'm sure I did
Speaker 1: something of Blaine's too, because Blaine has those jokes, those
Speaker 1: like hard jokes that stick in your mind. Were just like,
Speaker 1: oh wait, that just go that was Blaine's. But I'm
Speaker 1: just losing my mind.
Speaker 4: He does this stuff now on stage where he'll stop
Speaker 4: and rattle off his sponsors for yeah, yeah, I love
Speaker 4: brought to you by Swiffer. When you don't feel like cleaning,
Speaker 4: don't really clean by Axe.
Speaker 1: Body spray ed Hardy for the blind. I hadn't do that,
Speaker 1: and I kind of started crying because I'm like, that's
Speaker 1: the best joker. I'll never write it.
Speaker 4: Sitting there for I was talking we went I'm on
Speaker 4: a thread with him and a bunch of other comedians.
Speaker 4: We were talking about for some reason, you know, you've
Speaker 4: got in those weird rabbit holes about people, famous people,
Speaker 4: and he went down for some reason, went down to
Speaker 4: Peter Wolf rabbit hole, so right there, but he was
Speaker 4: on his Wikipedia and Peter Wolf, lead singer of the
Speaker 4: Jay Giles Band, was married to Faye Dunaway for three
Speaker 4: years in the early seventies. And then and I said, oh,
Speaker 4: you know, Peter Wolf and Amy Mann, we used to
Speaker 4: be boyfriend girlfriend way back in the day. And then
Speaker 4: Blaine just text me back, did they break up because
Speaker 4: of all the wolfman jokes? Wolfman that would have been
Speaker 4: their portmanteau, that's.
Speaker 1: Right, or their child's hyphen it?
Speaker 4: Oh god?
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 4: And then so they gotta name him Harry Harry wolf Man.
Speaker 1: I love those those kind of people that are just like,
Speaker 1: let's give our child a joke name, yes, and to
Speaker 1: entertain ourselves.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well that was who's the His name now is.
Speaker 1: C Q.
Speaker 4: Jones. He's a director, but he's David Bowie's son. Oh,
Speaker 4: and he was when he was growing up, he was
Speaker 4: Zoey Bows Oh right, And then he was like, yeah,
Speaker 4: c Q, we're done with this. I'm glad that you
Speaker 4: lived on cocaine and milk and klipino peppers the seventies,
Speaker 4: red peppers, red peppers.
Speaker 2: Yes he really, yes, yes.
Speaker 4: He had this weird diet. He would just drink milk,
Speaker 4: snort coke and eat red peppers for like years, for years,
Speaker 4: for years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but then he was started hallucinating. There's a really
Speaker 1: good story where like he saw something in the bottom.
Speaker 1: There was an indoor pool in some mansion they had
Speaker 1: in La Do you know that story? And he hallucinated
Speaker 1: this thing where basically the devil was coming up out
Speaker 1: of the pool and somebody is like, hey, we got
Speaker 1: to get you off the coke. The peers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know that's the peppers.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we got to get you a steak, a steak
Speaker 4: and some mashed potato.
Speaker 1: Stat gotta take it easy.
Speaker 4: Holy shit.
Speaker 2: Have you guys seen that Bowie documentary?
Speaker 4: No mine is. My daughter has demanded I wait till
Speaker 4: she gets back from camp because she's obsessed with bow
Speaker 4: We guys can watch it together.
Speaker 2: Oh, she's at camp right, yeah, camp right now?
Speaker 4: Is it out in Vermont? She just wow, thats running
Speaker 4: around in the Woods.
Speaker 2: That's where I wanted it to be.
Speaker 1: That's like dream camp.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, she's very very happy.
Speaker 2: Good. That's great.
Speaker 4: And I just did a you know, I have a
Speaker 4: new trade paperback that's coming out July twelfth. Listeners. Yeah,
Speaker 4: you want to go to your called Minor Threats. First
Speaker 4: four issues of my comic Minor Threats.
Speaker 3: I mentioned that because on the way to Karen's I
Speaker 3: listened to Minor threat Oh there you go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, unrelated.
Speaker 4: But we had a big release party out at in
Speaker 4: Eagle Rock at a place called Revenge of So we
Speaker 4: did a signing, we had barbecue, we had a couple
Speaker 4: of comedians, and we had a band play. And the
Speaker 4: band that I got to play was Bleached, which is
Speaker 4: my daughter's favorite.
Speaker 2: Oh they're great.
Speaker 4: So I got to like meet them backstage and then
Speaker 4: watch their sound check and and she was just like
Speaker 4: you it was she was. So I'm just so happy
Speaker 4: that she's into really really cool music and that music
Speaker 4: leads her forward into people like Lana del Rey. And
Speaker 4: then then also like if they mentioned she what is
Speaker 4: this line? I listened to Sabbath You know that it's real?
Speaker 4: She goes, Oh, that's a band called Black Sabbath and
Speaker 4: then I'll play her paranoid. Now she loves Black Sabbathe.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's great.
Speaker 2: I went to a Bleach show the Sisters, right, yes, sisters.
Speaker 3: It was an all ages show and I couldn't believe
Speaker 3: how many cool parents brought their little kids with the
Speaker 3: little ear muffs on.
Speaker 2: And it was the best show. I knew nothing about
Speaker 2: that band.
Speaker 4: They do the best songs about growing up and being
Speaker 4: a little punk in the valley and being and you know.
Speaker 4: And we were backstage and here's something, Here's how, here's
Speaker 4: how your kids get away from you in great ways.
Speaker 4: So Jennifer was saying, yeah, we were just touring and
Speaker 4: we were supposed to open for Bikini Kill at the
Speaker 4: Greek and the day of my sister Jessica got COVID.
Speaker 4: We couldn't do it. And my daughter's like, you didn't
Speaker 4: get to open for Bikini Kill. And I go, do
Speaker 4: you know who Bikini Kill is? She goes, yeah, Kathleen hand.
Speaker 4: And when we drove home, she she plugged her phone
Speaker 4: into the thing and played me all the Bikini Kill songs.
Speaker 4: She loves.
Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't know she was into bikini I'm so happy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is. Yeah, it's a beaut a surprise.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And also it's so cool to me because it's this
Speaker 1: it's like whatever it is now, fourth wave feminism or whatever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: where it's cool to be into those bands which were
Speaker 1: like you had to in the nineties, no cool people
Speaker 1: to find.
Speaker 4: Out about those things. Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: And now it's kind of like somebody is on the
Speaker 1: circuit going listen to this, do this, pay attention to this.
Speaker 1: Miss this the best.
Speaker 4: You're gonna love it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so was the like that was perfection.
Speaker 3: You are out of the gates. You were hilarious. You
Speaker 3: you had the instincts to do a street tour eventure.
Speaker 1: We got something done for you.
Speaker 4: I can't believe you lived two minutes from me, Karen.
Speaker 4: Let's go get coffee soon, yes, please, God damn it.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 4: I can't imagine how busy you are because I know
Speaker 4: that you're running an empire. But Slate, if you can
Speaker 4: talk to your assistant, have a take open an hour
Speaker 4: and we'll get some caffeine.
Speaker 1: That would be great. Let's go to Jones on third.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, you've been listening to do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: I am a r.
Speaker 1: This has been an Exactly Right production produced by Annalise Nelson,
Speaker 1: mixed by Edson Choi. Our talent booker is Patrick Cottner.
Speaker 2: Theme song by Karen Kilca, artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 1: podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.
Speaker 2: For more information, go to exactlyrightmedia dot com.
Speaker 4: Thank you, Oh, You're welcome.