WEBVTT - Happy Thanksgiving! 0:00:01.840 --> 0:00:09.160 You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hey, 0:00:09.520 --> 0:00:13.319 welcome back to I Choose Me. Can you believe it? 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:19.720 We're practically there. The leaves are all crazy beautiful all 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:22.040 of a sudden, We'll at least they were on the 0:00:22.040 --> 0:00:25.160 East Coast where I was this past week. I mean 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:28.640 here in southern California. Winter is you know, let's just 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:33.560 say it's mild to say the least, but the weather 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:37.440 is feeling a little crispy, and you have that little 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:39.560 pep in your step. With the extra hour of sleep 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:42.880 we've been getting, you're starting to get a lot more 0:00:43.280 --> 0:00:47.880 interested in cooking and grocery shopping. Wait, wait, wait, wait, 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:50.080 rewind that I want you to know that the optional 0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:56.040 word in that sentence was interested. We can feel interested, yes, 0:00:57.240 --> 0:01:00.200 by the prep and the planning and the excitement meant 0:01:00.240 --> 0:01:02.800 to see the family, those of us that get to 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:06.160 have our family with us. But it can also feel 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:11.680 a million other ways. Maybe it feels like something you're 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:16.720 actually not looking forward to at all. Whatever the feels are, 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:22.120 Thanksgiving is almost here today. I want to talk about 0:01:22.480 --> 0:01:27.520 why this holiday, even with all its predictable chaos, is 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:31.240 so important to me and worth all the good and 0:01:31.280 --> 0:01:35.640 the bad and the pure exhaustion that comes with it. 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:39.000 We need to remember that Thanksgiving is a lot more 0:01:39.080 --> 0:01:43.080 than just turkey and football and green bean casserole and 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:46.600 someone guaranteed to fall asleep with their mouth open next 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:48.880 to you on the couch. There has to be more 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:53.200 to it. There is so much more to it. But 0:01:53.240 --> 0:01:56.480 the truth is that, no matter what it means to 0:01:56.520 --> 0:01:59.920 me or to anyone else, we need to think about 0:01:59.920 --> 0:02:02.120 it differently. I think we need to think of it 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:08.600 as a necessary reset button for the soul. We spend 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:13.239 the entire year doing work, doing the errands and the keeping, 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:18.680 doing all the emotional heavy lifting that we do. What 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:22.200 if we let this one day force us to just 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:28.320 stop and simply be a day where we dedicate time 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:33.239 to acknowledge and reflect on the good things we have. 0:02:35.040 --> 0:02:39.240 Gratitude isn't something that just happens to you. It's a 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:44.080 choice you make every single minute, every day, all day long. 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:50.960 Thanksgiving gives us this giant, wonderful permission slip to make 0:02:51.040 --> 0:02:55.400 that choice without feeling weird about being a little mushy. 0:02:55.840 --> 0:03:00.360 You know, For me, Thanksgiving is about the comfort of 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:03.880 the routine. Yes, like I know what it is I 0:03:03.960 --> 0:03:08.040 know what to expect, but it's also the people. And yeah, 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:12.160 it's usually messy. It's a little stressful, sometimes right up 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:16.600 until everyone is around the table. Sometimes maybe well beyond 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:21.919 that moment, but it's real, and yeah, it reminds me 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:25.200 of those big family gatherings we had on our farm 0:03:25.240 --> 0:03:29.160 when I was little. Now that the girls are older, 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:34.400 our family is a little more spread out. Unfortunately, Luca 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:36.000 is not going to be able to join us this year, 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:39.800 but it is such a sacred, precious time when all 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:43.920 my girls are home. And even though she's not going 0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:45.840 to be here physically this year, we will FaceTime with 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:48.920 her a million times so it will be somewhat bearable. 0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:53.960 It's a day on the calendar, you guys, a physical, loud, 0:03:55.000 --> 0:03:59.920 wonderful reminder of the joy of connection and the grounding 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:04.720 of gratitude. It's about feeling full in every single sense 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:08.360 of the word. You know. Okay, so let's just get 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:11.000 into the good stuff. Let's do what we do here. 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:14.160 We're all about choices here on I choose me, So 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:18.440 let's talk about the choices we have around this holiday. 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:25.960 Because Thanksgiving can feel mandatory, not optional. Sometimes the first 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:31.200 choice is simple, do I even go. We feel this 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:37.039 intense obligation to attend the gatherings, especially when your family 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:40.800 is involved. But I'm telling you, guys something, If the 0:04:40.839 --> 0:04:45.560 thought of a particular situation fills you with more dread 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:52.760 than potential joy, you have the powerful choice to say no, no, 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:56.560 thank you, seriously, even if it means saying you don't 0:04:56.600 --> 0:05:00.919 want to host this year. Choosing yourself sometime times means 0:05:01.440 --> 0:05:06.120 protecting your piece over the pleasing of someone else. And 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:09.600 that is a huge badass move, and it is okay 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:18.680 to make it. It is okay to say no. The 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:22.599 second choice is all about the labor of it, all 0:05:23.040 --> 0:05:26.200 the food, Oh my gosh. The pressure we put on 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:32.320 ourselves to be some kind of Thanksgiving queen is insane. 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:36.160 If it is or has become too much, you have 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:40.479 the choice to scale back. I know I try to 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:43.720 do it every year, and somehow it's still as big 0:05:43.760 --> 0:05:47.400 as last time. But go ahead, do what I wish 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:49.840 I would do. Do what I'm thinking about doing this Yere, 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:56.240 order the pie, buy the pre made mashed potatoes, delegate 0:05:56.240 --> 0:06:02.280 the workload, ask for help. Don't let the logistics destroy 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:05.720 your joy before the main course even hits the table. 0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:11.280 And if you're a guest, choose to bring something substantial 0:06:11.880 --> 0:06:14.919 so that your host isn't completely burnt out by the 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:18.640 time you arrive. That is a total act of collective 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:22.640 self care. Very nice of you. And the third, maybe 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:29.160 the trickiest choice, is the conversations. Very often every family 0:06:29.600 --> 0:06:33.920 has that one relative, right, the one who brings up 0:06:33.960 --> 0:06:38.559 the awkward question about money or politics, or your love life, 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:42.520 or your job or the way you look. Even you 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:46.400 have the choice, you have the power to change the subject. 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:48.800 You can get up, you can walk away, or you 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:53.960 can simply say, you know what, I'm gonna choose peace today. 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:57.080 So why don't we talk about how amazing this stuffing is. 0:06:58.680 --> 0:07:01.479 You do not have to defend and your life choices 0:07:01.600 --> 0:07:05.800 over a bowl of lumpy gravy. Choose the topics that 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:10.280 nourish your soul, not the ones that drain it. Okay, 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:13.480 So here are three quick practical tips on how to 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:17.760 build your own peaceful holiday plan so you can truly 0:07:18.080 --> 0:07:21.760 choose yourself with Thanksgiving. My first idea for a peaceful 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:25.320 holiday is to create a peace plan. It sounds like 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:29.000 it would be more time involved to make a plan, 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:33.080 but I promise you will save time and heartache if 0:07:33.120 --> 0:07:37.240 you spend just a little time pre planning in advance. 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:42.080 So before you walk into the gathering, pre plan a short, 0:07:42.240 --> 0:07:46.280 intentional escape. It could be five minutes sitting in your 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:49.280 car listening to your favorite song. It could be ten 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:53.520 minutes watering the host's plants or playing with their dog outside. 0:07:53.880 --> 0:07:56.240 Or another one is to yeah, just step out onto 0:07:56.240 --> 0:07:59.960 the porch and breathe in the cold air. Pre Plan 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:04.560 your peace and don't feel guilty about taking it. It 0:08:04.640 --> 0:08:08.960 recharges you. It recharges your battery, so you can actually 0:08:09.000 --> 0:08:13.360 be present and not resentful or uncomfortable. You get to 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:17.520 be in the moment and give your children the option 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:21.400 to do the same. Honestly, because family gatherings can be 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:24.640 just as overwhelming for our kids as they are for us. 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:29.480 So if your children know that they have an escape, 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:32.080 they can go upstairs, maybe with a book or a 0:08:32.080 --> 0:08:35.760 puzzle that you pack for them. They can run outside 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:38.800 for ten minutes. Whatever plan you make with your kids, 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:43.000 you'd be amazed what having that little option could mean 0:08:43.200 --> 0:08:48.600 for your kids. Sanity this Thanksgiving. My second tip in 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:53.000 our peaceful holiday plan might sound a little silly, but 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:56.640 choose what you want to wear wisely, you know what 0:08:56.679 --> 0:08:59.720 I mean. As far as I'm concerned, this holiday season 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:05.040 needs to be about comfort. Forget the restrictive, itchy clothes 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:07.560 that make you miserable but make other people think a 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:10.920 certain way about you. Forget about that. Choose an outfit 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:15.600 that allows you to fully enjoy the day, one that 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:19.839 lets you move and breathe and yes eat that third 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:25.280 helping of stuffing. Seriously, when you're comfortable, you are relaxed, 0:09:25.320 --> 0:09:29.040 and when you are relaxed, you are more patient with 0:09:29.120 --> 0:09:33.559 everyone else. So dress for yourself. This is the whole 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:36.839 reason that I've created my brand for Comfort. You can 0:09:37.200 --> 0:09:39.600 check out of my fun videos on Instagram. It's all 0:09:39.600 --> 0:09:42.240 about feeling good and looking good and being able to 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:45.920 button up that button after the big meal. So check 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:49.720 that out. But my final tip is to practice gratitude 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:55.320 grounding during a moment of chaos, when the dog poops 0:09:55.559 --> 0:09:58.760 under the table, or the baby's crying, when the cast 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:02.000 rules burning, just stop after you take the castle roll out. 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:06.199 Just take a minute, close your eyes for three seconds even, 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:10.080 and name three things you are grateful for in that moment. 0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:13.800 The smell of the sage, the sound of the laughter 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:17.080 in the other room, the roof over your head. This 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:23.079 small moment of grounding immediately reframes your mind from stress 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:27.800 to appreciation. And you might need a little more time, 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:30.880 a little more than three seconds, So go ahead, take 0:10:30.880 --> 0:10:35.480 that walk around the block a breathing exercise. Holidays make 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:39.960 everyone stressed out. You're not alone, so don't feel bad 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:43.199 about it either way, because you need something to break 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:48.480 the cycle, and it will allow you to concentrate on thankfulness, 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:53.480 which is what this day is all about. Thanksgiving is 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:58.160 a beautiful, messy gift. Don't wait for permission to be 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:01.720 grateful or to rest. Don't wait for someone else to 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:06.400 grant you a peaceful day. Choose your peace, choose your joy, 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:11.800 choose your gratitude. It's always okay to choose yourself, even 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:16.800 on a holiday. So happy Thanksgiving from everyone here at 0:11:16.880 --> 0:11:20.280 I choose me. We will see you next week.