1 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:09,160 Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hey, 2 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:13,319 Speaker 1: welcome back to I Choose Me. Can you believe it? 3 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 1: We're practically there. The leaves are all crazy beautiful all 4 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 1: of a sudden, We'll at least they were on the 5 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 1: East Coast where I was this past week. I mean 6 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,640 Speaker 1: here in southern California. Winter is you know, let's just 7 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:33,560 Speaker 1: say it's mild to say the least, but the weather 8 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:37,440 Speaker 1: is feeling a little crispy, and you have that little 9 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:39,560 Speaker 1: pep in your step. With the extra hour of sleep 10 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,880 Speaker 1: we've been getting, you're starting to get a lot more 11 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:47,880 Speaker 1: interested in cooking and grocery shopping. Wait, wait, wait, wait, 12 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: rewind that I want you to know that the optional 13 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 1: word in that sentence was interested. We can feel interested, yes, 14 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:00,200 Speaker 1: by the prep and the planning and the excitement meant 15 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 1: to see the family, those of us that get to 16 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 1: have our family with us. But it can also feel 17 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:11,680 Speaker 1: a million other ways. Maybe it feels like something you're 18 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 1: actually not looking forward to at all. Whatever the feels are, 19 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaker 1: Thanksgiving is almost here today. I want to talk about 20 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 1: why this holiday, even with all its predictable chaos, is 21 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: so important to me and worth all the good and 22 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 1: the bad and the pure exhaustion that comes with it. 23 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,000 Speaker 1: We need to remember that Thanksgiving is a lot more 24 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 1: than just turkey and football and green bean casserole and 25 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 1: someone guaranteed to fall asleep with their mouth open next 26 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 1: to you on the couch. There has to be more 27 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: to it. There is so much more to it. But 28 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,480 Speaker 1: the truth is that, no matter what it means to 29 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: me or to anyone else, we need to think about 30 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 1: it differently. I think we need to think of it 31 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: as a necessary reset button for the soul. We spend 32 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:13,239 Speaker 1: the entire year doing work, doing the errands and the keeping, 33 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 1: doing all the emotional heavy lifting that we do. What 34 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 1: if we let this one day force us to just 35 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: stop and simply be a day where we dedicate time 36 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:33,239 Speaker 1: to acknowledge and reflect on the good things we have. 37 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:39,240 Speaker 1: Gratitude isn't something that just happens to you. It's a 38 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:44,080 Speaker 1: choice you make every single minute, every day, all day long. 39 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:50,960 Speaker 1: Thanksgiving gives us this giant, wonderful permission slip to make 40 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 1: that choice without feeling weird about being a little mushy. 41 00:02:55,840 --> 00:03:00,360 Speaker 1: You know, For me, Thanksgiving is about the comfort of 42 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: the routine. Yes, like I know what it is I 43 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: know what to expect, but it's also the people. And yeah, 44 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 1: it's usually messy. It's a little stressful, sometimes right up 45 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 1: until everyone is around the table. Sometimes maybe well beyond 46 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:21,919 Speaker 1: that moment, but it's real, and yeah, it reminds me 47 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,200 Speaker 1: of those big family gatherings we had on our farm 48 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 1: when I was little. Now that the girls are older, 49 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 1: our family is a little more spread out. Unfortunately, Luca 50 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,000 Speaker 1: is not going to be able to join us this year, 51 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: but it is such a sacred, precious time when all 52 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 1: my girls are home. And even though she's not going 53 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: to be here physically this year, we will FaceTime with 54 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: her a million times so it will be somewhat bearable. 55 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: It's a day on the calendar, you guys, a physical, loud, 56 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 1: wonderful reminder of the joy of connection and the grounding 57 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 1: of gratitude. It's about feeling full in every single sense 58 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 1: of the word. You know. Okay, so let's just get 59 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: into the good stuff. Let's do what we do here. 60 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: We're all about choices here on I choose me, So 61 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 1: let's talk about the choices we have around this holiday. 62 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: Because Thanksgiving can feel mandatory, not optional. Sometimes the first 63 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 1: choice is simple, do I even go. We feel this 64 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:37,039 Speaker 1: intense obligation to attend the gatherings, especially when your family 65 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 1: is involved. But I'm telling you, guys something, If the 66 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 1: thought of a particular situation fills you with more dread 67 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: than potential joy, you have the powerful choice to say no, no, 68 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 1: thank you, seriously, even if it means saying you don't 69 00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,919 Speaker 1: want to host this year. Choosing yourself sometime times means 70 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:06,120 Speaker 1: protecting your piece over the pleasing of someone else. And 71 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:09,600 Speaker 1: that is a huge badass move, and it is okay 72 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:18,680 Speaker 1: to make it. It is okay to say no. The 73 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,599 Speaker 1: second choice is all about the labor of it, all 74 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 1: the food, Oh my gosh. The pressure we put on 75 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 1: ourselves to be some kind of Thanksgiving queen is insane. 76 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:36,160 Speaker 1: If it is or has become too much, you have 77 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:40,479 Speaker 1: the choice to scale back. I know I try to 78 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,720 Speaker 1: do it every year, and somehow it's still as big 79 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 1: as last time. But go ahead, do what I wish 80 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,840 Speaker 1: I would do. Do what I'm thinking about doing this Yere, 81 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:56,240 Speaker 1: order the pie, buy the pre made mashed potatoes, delegate 82 00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:02,280 Speaker 1: the workload, ask for help. Don't let the logistics destroy 83 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 1: your joy before the main course even hits the table. 84 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:11,280 Speaker 1: And if you're a guest, choose to bring something substantial 85 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,919 Speaker 1: so that your host isn't completely burnt out by the 86 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 1: time you arrive. That is a total act of collective 87 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: self care. Very nice of you. And the third, maybe 88 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:29,160 Speaker 1: the trickiest choice, is the conversations. Very often every family 89 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 1: has that one relative, right, the one who brings up 90 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:38,559 Speaker 1: the awkward question about money or politics, or your love life, 91 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: or your job or the way you look. Even you 92 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: have the choice, you have the power to change the subject. 93 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 1: You can get up, you can walk away, or you 94 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 1: can simply say, you know what, I'm gonna choose peace today. 95 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 1: So why don't we talk about how amazing this stuffing is. 96 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,479 Speaker 1: You do not have to defend and your life choices 97 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 1: over a bowl of lumpy gravy. Choose the topics that 98 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 1: nourish your soul, not the ones that drain it. Okay, 99 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,480 Speaker 1: So here are three quick practical tips on how to 100 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:17,760 Speaker 1: build your own peaceful holiday plan so you can truly 101 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: choose yourself with Thanksgiving. My first idea for a peaceful 102 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 1: holiday is to create a peace plan. It sounds like 103 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 1: it would be more time involved to make a plan, 104 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:33,080 Speaker 1: but I promise you will save time and heartache if 105 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 1: you spend just a little time pre planning in advance. 106 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 1: So before you walk into the gathering, pre plan a short, 107 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 1: intentional escape. It could be five minutes sitting in your 108 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: car listening to your favorite song. It could be ten 109 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 1: minutes watering the host's plants or playing with their dog outside. 110 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 1: Or another one is to yeah, just step out onto 111 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:59,960 Speaker 1: the porch and breathe in the cold air. Pre Plan 112 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:04,560 Speaker 1: your peace and don't feel guilty about taking it. It 113 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 1: recharges you. It recharges your battery, so you can actually 114 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 1: be present and not resentful or uncomfortable. You get to 115 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 1: be in the moment and give your children the option 116 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: to do the same. Honestly, because family gatherings can be 117 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 1: just as overwhelming for our kids as they are for us. 118 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 1: So if your children know that they have an escape, 119 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 1: they can go upstairs, maybe with a book or a 120 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: puzzle that you pack for them. They can run outside 121 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 1: for ten minutes. Whatever plan you make with your kids, 122 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 1: you'd be amazed what having that little option could mean 123 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: for your kids. Sanity this Thanksgiving. My second tip in 124 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 1: our peaceful holiday plan might sound a little silly, but 125 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: choose what you want to wear wisely, you know what 126 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 1: I mean. As far as I'm concerned, this holiday season 127 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 1: needs to be about comfort. Forget the restrictive, itchy clothes 128 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,560 Speaker 1: that make you miserable but make other people think a 129 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 1: certain way about you. Forget about that. Choose an outfit 130 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 1: that allows you to fully enjoy the day, one that 131 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:19,839 Speaker 1: lets you move and breathe and yes eat that third 132 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 1: helping of stuffing. Seriously, when you're comfortable, you are relaxed, 133 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:29,040 Speaker 1: and when you are relaxed, you are more patient with 134 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:33,559 Speaker 1: everyone else. So dress for yourself. This is the whole 135 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,839 Speaker 1: reason that I've created my brand for Comfort. You can 136 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,600 Speaker 1: check out of my fun videos on Instagram. It's all 137 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 1: about feeling good and looking good and being able to 138 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: button up that button after the big meal. So check 139 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,720 Speaker 1: that out. But my final tip is to practice gratitude 140 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 1: grounding during a moment of chaos, when the dog poops 141 00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:58,760 Speaker 1: under the table, or the baby's crying, when the cast 142 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 1: rules burning, just stop after you take the castle roll out. 143 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:06,199 Speaker 1: Just take a minute, close your eyes for three seconds even, 144 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:10,080 Speaker 1: and name three things you are grateful for in that moment. 145 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 1: The smell of the sage, the sound of the laughter 146 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 1: in the other room, the roof over your head. This 147 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:23,079 Speaker 1: small moment of grounding immediately reframes your mind from stress 148 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 1: to appreciation. And you might need a little more time, 149 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 1: a little more than three seconds, So go ahead, take 150 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 1: that walk around the block a breathing exercise. Holidays make 151 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:39,960 Speaker 1: everyone stressed out. You're not alone, so don't feel bad 152 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:43,199 Speaker 1: about it either way, because you need something to break 153 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 1: the cycle, and it will allow you to concentrate on thankfulness, 154 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:53,480 Speaker 1: which is what this day is all about. Thanksgiving is 155 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 1: a beautiful, messy gift. Don't wait for permission to be 156 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,720 Speaker 1: grateful or to rest. Don't wait for someone else to 157 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: grant you a peaceful day. Choose your peace, choose your joy, 158 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:11,800 Speaker 1: choose your gratitude. It's always okay to choose yourself, even 159 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 1: on a holiday. So happy Thanksgiving from everyone here at 160 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,280 Speaker 1: I choose me. We will see you next week.