WEBVTT - An Unbreakable Mindset 0:00:04.813 --> 0:00:15.013 Comeback Stories is a production I've Inflection Network and iHeartRadio. 0:00:16.293 --> 0:00:18.973 Welcome back, everyone to another episode of Comeback Stories. I'm 0:00:18.973 --> 0:00:21.093 your co host, Darren Waller. Excited to be here with 0:00:21.133 --> 0:00:23.573 my friend, my guy Donnie. Donnie, how you doing, brother, 0:00:24.093 --> 0:00:28.333 and glad to be here with you. Yes, sir, our 0:00:28.373 --> 0:00:31.213 guest today is a special one. We've been trying to 0:00:31.453 --> 0:00:33.813 track her down. All the rescheduling and everything kind of 0:00:33.813 --> 0:00:37.133 gets in the way sometimes, but super excited to have 0:00:37.733 --> 0:00:41.613 someone who's been a three time NCAA champion, multiple time 0:00:41.813 --> 0:00:45.293 world champion. I mean, the all Americans in college are 0:00:46.213 --> 0:00:49.813 almost uncountable at this point, but we have the great 0:00:49.853 --> 0:00:51.013 Lolo Jones with us today. 0:00:51.013 --> 0:00:51.653 Lolo, how you. 0:00:51.533 --> 0:00:54.213 Doing, Goatherd? Thanks for having me. I'm sorry about all 0:00:54.293 --> 0:00:57.173 the complications with scheduling. I was just waiting for you 0:00:57.173 --> 0:00:59.133 to get traded to the Giants so I get free ticket. 0:00:59.653 --> 0:01:01.773 All good man, It always works out the way it's 0:01:01.773 --> 0:01:04.813 supposed to. But we're grateful to have. If you want 0:01:04.853 --> 0:01:07.253 here to unpack more of your story and all the 0:01:07.293 --> 0:01:09.733 adversity that you've overcome, that's kind of our mantra here 0:01:09.773 --> 0:01:12.013 on Comeback Stories, and we'd love to start from the 0:01:12.013 --> 0:01:14.693 beginning with you, we want to know what was life like. 0:01:14.653 --> 0:01:15.373 Growing up for you? 0:01:16.493 --> 0:01:20.453 Well, live growing up. It was difficult, right, Like I 0:01:20.613 --> 0:01:23.133 had a dad that was in and out of prison 0:01:23.173 --> 0:01:27.053 my whole childhood. And my mom was a single mom 0:01:27.293 --> 0:01:31.453 of five kids. And not only that, you know, on biracial. 0:01:31.613 --> 0:01:34.293 So my mom is white, my dad is black. So 0:01:34.453 --> 0:01:37.133 at the time, it was different times, you know, like 0:01:37.413 --> 0:01:41.333 the eighties and the nineties, and I lived in Iowa, 0:01:41.453 --> 0:01:45.613 which is predominantly Caucasian at the time wasn't really accepting 0:01:45.653 --> 0:01:50.013 of interracial couples. So I remember we walk into places 0:01:50.053 --> 0:01:53.653 and there's my mom, who's white, blonde hair, blue eyes, 0:01:53.733 --> 0:01:58.053 walking in a store restaurant with five you know, brown kids. 0:01:58.213 --> 0:02:00.973 It was, you know, shocking at the time. And then 0:02:01.133 --> 0:02:04.973 my dad, who was amazing dad and he's passed away. Now, 0:02:05.773 --> 0:02:09.053 you know, he just struggled. He just struggle with some things, 0:02:09.093 --> 0:02:10.893 and like some of it. Now that I'm on the 0:02:10.893 --> 0:02:13.173 other end of it, I wonder if like you know, 0:02:13.173 --> 0:02:15.573 I'm just got caught in the vicious cycle or being 0:02:15.613 --> 0:02:18.933 like the only black guy in certain towns, was just 0:02:18.973 --> 0:02:21.973 always picked on, you know. But he will admit to 0:02:22.013 --> 0:02:24.613 his faults for sure, But an incredible dad when he 0:02:24.733 --> 0:02:28.613 was actually back, like you know, not locked up, you know, 0:02:28.813 --> 0:02:31.053 and even when he was locked up, he'd always stay 0:02:31.053 --> 0:02:35.053 in contacts, you know, so you can be incarcerated and 0:02:35.093 --> 0:02:38.373 still be an incredible father. And yeah, so it's just 0:02:38.933 --> 0:02:41.933 rocky childhood though, with having to deal with that. And 0:02:43.253 --> 0:02:46.013 that's why I am the person I am today because 0:02:47.173 --> 0:02:48.893 there was so many things that are always changed in 0:02:48.933 --> 0:02:52.853 my life. Like we could never afford rent for a 0:02:52.933 --> 0:02:55.253 very long time, so my mom was always getting evicted 0:02:55.253 --> 0:02:58.973 when my dad was incarcerated, and so we moved around 0:02:59.013 --> 0:03:01.293 a lot. Like I had like seven or eight schools 0:03:01.293 --> 0:03:03.573 within seven or eight years I got. Every year was 0:03:03.573 --> 0:03:06.933 a different school, and you know, I just needed to 0:03:06.933 --> 0:03:11.413 find something stable. And that stability came from playing sports, 0:03:11.453 --> 0:03:14.173 because you know, whenever y'all a sports team, you have 0:03:14.253 --> 0:03:16.613 a team and you're locked in and there's a schedule 0:03:16.653 --> 0:03:19.773 and there's practice and it's the same routine, and so 0:03:20.693 --> 0:03:23.093 all of my energies just went into that to just 0:03:23.413 --> 0:03:26.853 I just wanted something that was just like concrete, not 0:03:26.973 --> 0:03:31.653 changing when everything else in my world was going madness, 0:03:31.773 --> 0:03:32.133 you know. 0:03:32.493 --> 0:03:35.533 So no doubt, I mean that's what I was from 0:03:35.573 --> 0:03:38.253 all the things that you named from, you know, parents 0:03:38.333 --> 0:03:41.813 that were two different races, all the schools, growing up 0:03:41.813 --> 0:03:43.973 in an environment where not too many people look like you. 0:03:44.013 --> 0:03:45.773 I'm like, that sounds like the making for kind of 0:03:45.813 --> 0:03:48.213 like a identity crisis, just like I don't know like 0:03:48.613 --> 0:03:50.533 who I am, like how I should be, how I 0:03:50.533 --> 0:03:55.253 should show up. And it makes sense how being in sports, 0:03:55.373 --> 0:03:57.453 starting in I don't know what age you started in track, 0:03:57.533 --> 0:03:59.773 but getting into those environments because you can kind of 0:03:59.813 --> 0:04:03.333 just lose yourself in that and and you know, exert 0:04:03.373 --> 0:04:06.133 yourself physically, exhaust yourself as a kid, I mean, that's 0:04:06.293 --> 0:04:07.573 all you want to do is to go around and 0:04:07.613 --> 0:04:08.133 play and. 0:04:08.053 --> 0:04:11.413 Just have a good time, yeah, and not worry about 0:04:11.453 --> 0:04:13.093 all the madness that's going on around you. 0:04:13.173 --> 0:04:17.693 Right absolutely. I mean there was a time where, you know, 0:04:18.733 --> 0:04:20.893 we were so young and my mom gave each one 0:04:20.893 --> 0:04:23.493 of us a blanket, like all me and my siblings 0:04:23.573 --> 0:04:25.893 a blanket. She packed us in the car and she 0:04:26.013 --> 0:04:28.533 just started driving and I had no clue where where 0:04:28.533 --> 0:04:30.773 to go, and we just kept driving and driving, and 0:04:30.813 --> 0:04:34.933 finally we went to a church and that's when I 0:04:34.973 --> 0:04:37.413 found out that we had just lost her house. We 0:04:37.413 --> 0:04:40.453 are evicted, and she had nowhere to go, and she 0:04:40.573 --> 0:04:43.613 was driving around in tears, like trying to figure out 0:04:43.653 --> 0:04:47.573 where to take five kids. You know, she's homeless. So 0:04:47.933 --> 0:04:51.453 and we lived in that basement for a month. And 0:04:52.333 --> 0:04:54.453 in that time, you know, like it was a Salvation 0:04:54.613 --> 0:04:58.693 army and so they was like I guess a emergency shelter. 0:04:58.733 --> 0:05:00.653 They had the bottom, so they had some showers and 0:05:00.653 --> 0:05:03.493 stuff like that, and we slept on these army cots, 0:05:03.733 --> 0:05:06.093 you know, for a very long time. And but the 0:05:06.133 --> 0:05:08.813 top of it was this basketball court. You know, so 0:05:08.893 --> 0:05:12.533 like you know, most churches in or a Baptist not 0:05:12.613 --> 0:05:15.053 a non national, have some form of a basketball court. 0:05:16.093 --> 0:05:18.453 I mean that's like it's like ingrain. It's like there's 0:05:18.453 --> 0:05:21.653 a cross and there's probably a basketball court outside or inside. 0:05:21.693 --> 0:05:25.013 And this one happened. It was a very small, small church. 0:05:25.093 --> 0:05:27.293 The basketball court was probably just the size is like 0:05:27.373 --> 0:05:32.253 the actual Warship Center. And so we had this huge 0:05:32.293 --> 0:05:35.093 basketball court to play in, and like, you know, I 0:05:35.333 --> 0:05:38.133 just you know, they had basketballs. I played, and to 0:05:38.173 --> 0:05:40.133 be honest, I thought it was going to be a 0:05:40.173 --> 0:05:43.853 basketball player, like a professional basketball player. Like at one point, 0:05:43.933 --> 0:05:48.653 like in middle school, I was very passionate about basketball, 0:05:48.733 --> 0:05:52.293 like I'd be outside for hours dribbling, practicing on my 0:05:52.333 --> 0:05:56.093 own shooting. Like I remember in my middle school yearbook, 0:05:56.693 --> 0:05:58.773 they you know, they put what Everybody's going to be 0:05:58.813 --> 0:06:00.613 when they grow up, and they said that like Lolo 0:06:00.693 --> 0:06:04.853 Jones was going to be a professional basketball player. It 0:06:04.893 --> 0:06:07.333 wasn't inut All high school that I realized that essentially, 0:06:07.413 --> 0:06:09.813 I was just really good at the running part of basketball. 0:06:09.933 --> 0:06:12.653 Like I was incredible at the running, Like I could 0:06:12.693 --> 0:06:16.693 break any of their best offensive player and shut them 0:06:16.733 --> 0:06:19.653 down to where they couldn't score because they couldn't shape me. 0:06:19.693 --> 0:06:22.173 I could. I could stay with anybody. I could break 0:06:22.173 --> 0:06:25.813 a full court press if they had kwami, I bring 0:06:25.853 --> 0:06:28.133 it like I would just get the ball to my team. 0:06:28.173 --> 0:06:30.413 But when I went to go shoot, it was an 0:06:30.413 --> 0:06:33.813 absolute nightmare. I probably like only scored two points on 0:06:33.933 --> 0:06:38.373 average per game. You know, so uh learn quickly that 0:06:38.453 --> 0:06:39.973 you know, running was scor for me. 0:06:41.933 --> 0:06:45.213 Well, I mean that's looking back, like in that church 0:06:45.413 --> 0:06:47.693 environment where you said the basketball court was upstairs, Like 0:06:48.533 --> 0:06:51.413 did you ever at the point feel like, oh man, 0:06:51.533 --> 0:06:54.773 like we're homeless, or like this is a terrible situation, 0:06:55.213 --> 0:06:58.053 or did you have a perspective of like the it 0:06:58.093 --> 0:07:00.213 was cool to play basketball, like what was going. 0:07:00.093 --> 0:07:02.253 On in your mind? Then if you can remember that. 0:07:02.693 --> 0:07:04.613 Well, it's a little bit of both, Like it's like, 0:07:04.653 --> 0:07:07.733 oh my gosh, like there's a basketball courts. I could 0:07:07.813 --> 0:07:11.173 play on this basketball indoor basketball corps at any time, 0:07:11.653 --> 0:07:15.853 anytime I'm on. But then the uncol part was at 0:07:15.853 --> 0:07:18.853 that time, the Salvation Arma was having summer day camps 0:07:19.013 --> 0:07:22.213 for kids. So essentially what they had to do is 0:07:22.333 --> 0:07:26.213 make sure that we were up from the bottom of 0:07:26.333 --> 0:07:28.813 the basement because there was only one way to get 0:07:28.893 --> 0:07:31.253 to the day camps, so we had to make sure 0:07:31.293 --> 0:07:33.293 that we were up before the kids arrived. Otherwise they 0:07:33.293 --> 0:07:35.973 would kind of see it coming from like this place, 0:07:36.093 --> 0:07:37.973 you know, and they'd ask questions. So they didn't want 0:07:37.973 --> 0:07:40.893 the kids to know we were homeless. So that was 0:07:40.933 --> 0:07:42.933 the only kind of weird thing. Is like trying to 0:07:42.973 --> 0:07:46.813 protect the like me and my siblings from embarrassment. But 0:07:47.413 --> 0:07:49.133 I mean, we grew up so poor. There were so 0:07:49.213 --> 0:07:52.293 many moments of trying to protect us from embarrassment. Like 0:07:52.493 --> 0:07:55.613 you know, all of my Christmas presents from I think 0:07:55.653 --> 0:07:59.253 the age of like fourth grade to six or seven 0:07:59.453 --> 0:08:02.933 came from you know, churches, like one one Christmas imagine 0:08:02.973 --> 0:08:05.333 getting one Christmas present and that was donated, you know, 0:08:05.573 --> 0:08:09.453 or having to eat your Thanksgiving meals at shelters or 0:08:09.933 --> 0:08:13.733 church at free church mills because your mom can't go 0:08:13.933 --> 0:08:17.933 for the Thanksgiving dinner so or standing in line for 0:08:18.093 --> 0:08:22.733 you know, uh commodities, you know, food having Back in 0:08:22.773 --> 0:08:24.813 the day, like I was young enough to actually have 0:08:24.933 --> 0:08:28.413 to use food stamps, like eat paper food stamps, not 0:08:28.533 --> 0:08:30.853 these cute little debit cards people have now. I would 0:08:30.853 --> 0:08:32.973 have loved that back in the day. But like we 0:08:33.093 --> 0:08:36.613 literally had paper food stamps a book and you'd have 0:08:36.653 --> 0:08:39.613 to rip it out and go and actually use it. 0:08:39.653 --> 0:08:43.533 And I would always be so mortified going into grocery 0:08:43.533 --> 0:08:46.733 stores or gas stations to use them in case, like 0:08:46.933 --> 0:08:49.133 my friends saw me with my mom using them, and 0:08:49.293 --> 0:08:52.173 like sometimes I have long because you know, she learned, 0:08:52.253 --> 0:08:54.453 you know, from my dad trying to hustle the system. 0:08:54.693 --> 0:08:56.773 So like what they would do is they would have 0:08:56.893 --> 0:08:59.933 these they give each of the kids, like a five 0:09:00.053 --> 0:09:03.573 dollars or ten dollars paper food stamp. And if you 0:09:03.893 --> 0:09:05.413 back in the day, if you would go in and 0:09:05.453 --> 0:09:08.013 buy a thing, you get cash back. And so like 0:09:08.053 --> 0:09:10.893 if they're trying to actually payper the rent, like she 0:09:10.973 --> 0:09:13.493 had five kids, send each kid in and buy like 0:09:13.773 --> 0:09:16.493 the cheapest amount of candy something and get the real 0:09:16.533 --> 0:09:19.253 money back and then give the money so you can 0:09:19.293 --> 0:09:22.453 try to pay rent. And I just remember like wanting 0:09:22.493 --> 0:09:23.933 to know about my parents. But I'm like, oh, I 0:09:23.973 --> 0:09:25.893 just want to going for my school sees me like 0:09:26.693 --> 0:09:30.133 try to like use this actual food stamp. It's mortifying, 0:09:30.253 --> 0:09:30.453 you know. 0:09:31.213 --> 0:09:32.773 Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense. 0:09:33.013 --> 0:09:36.413 And I feel like from in my story, it's it's 0:09:36.453 --> 0:09:38.973 a lot different on where the embarrassment comes from. Like 0:09:39.053 --> 0:09:41.253 my as a kid growing up, I was embarrassed of 0:09:41.333 --> 0:09:44.333 like myself because of you know, I was different. I 0:09:44.373 --> 0:09:47.293 was weird, I was strange. I was very sensitive, very emotional, 0:09:48.733 --> 0:09:52.493 and I felt like it I was embarrassed to show 0:09:52.533 --> 0:09:54.613 who I really was, I mean even as a man, 0:09:54.853 --> 0:09:57.493 and I felt like I had to go into like 0:09:57.573 --> 0:09:59.893 people pleasing mode to like overcompensate for that. 0:09:59.933 --> 0:10:01.733 Do you ever feel like you had to do that 0:10:01.813 --> 0:10:03.013 because of the environment that. 0:10:02.933 --> 0:10:06.253 You grew up in or completely opposite, I actually went 0:10:06.413 --> 0:10:08.933 the other out. I was super weird and I was 0:10:09.093 --> 0:10:11.813 definitely introverted, and I read a lot of I was 0:10:12.053 --> 0:10:14.533 very nerdy growing up. I would read a ton of books, 0:10:15.013 --> 0:10:18.053 stay home. I was never really wanting to party or anything. 0:10:18.213 --> 0:10:20.733 I'm not not a people person because I was never 0:10:20.813 --> 0:10:23.773 aware of that. Like I was just always just in 0:10:23.853 --> 0:10:27.013 my own kind of like bubble because I didn't want 0:10:27.053 --> 0:10:29.013 to have friends because I didn't want them to come 0:10:29.053 --> 0:10:31.533 over be like, hey, can we hang out? Like where 0:10:31.573 --> 0:10:34.173 are we going to hang out in some crappy apartment 0:10:34.293 --> 0:10:37.413 where my family has no food? And I can't I 0:10:37.413 --> 0:10:39.973 can't have friends over. Like it got to the point 0:10:39.973 --> 0:10:42.573 where I finally let one one of my friends into 0:10:42.613 --> 0:10:45.333 my world and she would start bringing me food because 0:10:45.333 --> 0:10:47.493 she knew I had no food in my house, and 0:10:47.533 --> 0:10:49.053 like her parents were like, you gotta stop bringing her 0:10:49.053 --> 0:10:51.653 snacks and like they had no clue, Like I literally 0:10:51.733 --> 0:10:54.653 had no food at my house, you know. So, uh, 0:10:54.973 --> 0:10:58.573 I just learned very quickly not to have close friends 0:10:58.653 --> 0:11:01.253 because I couldn't let them into my world. I couldn't 0:11:01.293 --> 0:11:03.893 let them into cm we lived. We were all smashed 0:11:03.933 --> 0:11:06.813 together in the small apartments or you know, if you 0:11:06.853 --> 0:11:09.173 wanted to hang out, like I don't even have any 0:11:09.213 --> 0:11:10.533 snacks to offer you, you know. 0:11:10.933 --> 0:11:16.133 So, Darren, I'm glad you brought that up about your backstory. 0:11:16.173 --> 0:11:18.973 Because we've talked a lot about this on the podcast, 0:11:19.053 --> 0:11:24.133 about Darren's story specifically and being different because he was 0:11:24.173 --> 0:11:28.053 told he wasn't black enough. So it was essentially that 0:11:28.253 --> 0:11:31.453 is and I'm speaking for him, but his core wound 0:11:31.653 --> 0:11:33.893 ultimately what led to his I. 0:11:34.133 --> 0:11:35.733 Know that's what he was talking about. Yeah, I had 0:11:35.733 --> 0:11:38.613 that all the time. Yeah I didn't know that. Yeah, 0:11:38.933 --> 0:11:40.813 I mean I wasn't transfer to people person, but like 0:11:40.853 --> 0:11:43.133 even to this day, I'm still not black enough. You're 0:11:43.213 --> 0:11:46.533 as a bi racial person kid, adult, you're never going 0:11:46.613 --> 0:11:48.253 to be black enough. You're never going to be black 0:11:48.333 --> 0:11:50.853 enough for the black side, and you're definitely not going 0:11:50.893 --> 0:11:52.893 to be white enough for the white side. It is 0:11:52.933 --> 0:11:55.973 becoming more acceptable because more and more people actually inter 0:11:56.093 --> 0:12:00.733 racial dating, marriages are have skyrocketed. But I remember being 0:12:00.813 --> 0:12:04.813 at LSU and actually even in high school, but it 0:12:04.933 --> 0:12:08.413 really came to forefront at LSU because so here's this 0:12:08.733 --> 0:12:12.573 bi racial girl. She grew up in the north, predominantly 0:12:12.653 --> 0:12:15.693 in a white area. I mean Iowa. Not trying to 0:12:15.693 --> 0:12:18.533 shade Iowa. I had a drible upbringing in Iowa. It's 0:12:18.573 --> 0:12:20.293 a great place to raise kids, but there's a lot 0:12:20.333 --> 0:12:22.693 of white people, but they're you know, the culture is 0:12:22.733 --> 0:12:25.053 just not there like it is in the South. It's 0:12:25.173 --> 0:12:28.053 changed since then, but like at the time, yeah, no, 0:12:28.653 --> 0:12:31.453 so I you know, I grew up with my mostly 0:12:31.533 --> 0:12:35.213 my white side, you know, and when I went to LSU, 0:12:35.413 --> 0:12:38.693 it was a culture shock, like uh, and they went 0:12:38.973 --> 0:12:42.373 in on me. They they went in on me, and 0:12:42.533 --> 0:12:45.373 I remember those were like when I had like my 0:12:45.493 --> 0:12:50.733 first physical fights, you know, because they couldn't understand why 0:12:50.933 --> 0:12:53.933 I wouldn't say I was black, and like they were. 0:12:54.053 --> 0:12:56.653 They would get angry, like, no, you're black. You have 0:12:57.333 --> 0:12:58.853 I don't know if you faces, but it's always like 0:12:58.893 --> 0:13:01.253 it goes back to this quarter you have a drop, 0:13:01.333 --> 0:13:05.413 you're it's like this plantation that she repeated, if you 0:13:05.493 --> 0:13:07.613 have a certain an ounce amount of black and you 0:13:07.613 --> 0:13:11.293 you're black, and that's like what slave oars created, you know. 0:13:12.053 --> 0:13:14.453 And I would tell them I was like, look, my 0:13:14.653 --> 0:13:17.773 mom carried me nine months in her stomach and she 0:13:17.933 --> 0:13:20.733 is white. And she said it is disrespectful to her 0:13:21.173 --> 0:13:24.453 for me to claim I am nothing but biracial because 0:13:24.693 --> 0:13:27.773 I spent nine months inside of a white person and 0:13:27.853 --> 0:13:31.053 so to not honor her is disrespectful. And they would 0:13:31.093 --> 0:13:34.133 get years and like this full combative, you know, no 0:13:34.333 --> 0:13:37.013 you're black, Say you're black. And then there's been times 0:13:37.013 --> 0:13:39.573 where I was on dates with white guys and they 0:13:40.533 --> 0:13:43.213 you know, or in a party. There was one time 0:13:43.213 --> 0:13:44.893 I was in a party with white people and they're 0:13:44.933 --> 0:13:47.573 dropping the N word, like the er not the like 0:13:47.773 --> 0:13:51.493 rap song version, like they're being racist, you know, and 0:13:51.533 --> 0:13:55.413 I'm like popping off because I'm like, I am actually 0:13:55.453 --> 0:13:58.973 mixed with black, like going hard, you know. And or 0:13:59.013 --> 0:14:01.493 there's been a time where a guy I went on 0:14:01.533 --> 0:14:03.653 a date with a guy and where you know, we're 0:14:03.693 --> 0:14:05.533 talking in the car and he's like, you need to 0:14:05.533 --> 0:14:08.253 know me, and I was like he asked the question 0:14:08.293 --> 0:14:09.853 and I answered. I was like, yeah, I'm biracial. My 0:14:09.893 --> 0:14:12.533 mom is why. My dad's like he literally almost got 0:14:12.533 --> 0:14:14.133 in a car accident because he thought he was on 0:14:14.173 --> 0:14:16.893 a date with a white person. Like I was like, 0:14:16.933 --> 0:14:20.213 There's been so many instances where it's just like whoa 0:14:20.733 --> 0:14:24.893 and so. But I love being biracial because it allows 0:14:24.893 --> 0:14:27.573 me to see both sides of the perspective. And I 0:14:27.653 --> 0:14:29.813 feel like there's times now where I've been able to 0:14:29.853 --> 0:14:32.813 be the merger in the gap when maybe one side 0:14:32.853 --> 0:14:36.213 doesn't understand the other side and it's it, and especially 0:14:36.293 --> 0:14:39.333 as vital as the climate has been lazy, I think 0:14:39.373 --> 0:14:42.853 we need more of that interracial dating just to like 0:14:43.093 --> 0:14:46.493 kind of bring in like both perspectives sicks. 0:14:47.333 --> 0:14:49.213 That's why I brought it up because I as you 0:14:49.253 --> 0:14:51.853 were sharing your story, I couldn't help but think about 0:14:51.933 --> 0:14:55.733 Darren's story, because when we first started the podcast, that's 0:14:55.733 --> 0:14:57.773 what we asked, Like, we asked you that first question, 0:14:57.853 --> 0:15:00.973 what was growing up for you like? And Darren's answer 0:15:01.053 --> 0:15:05.413 was confusing. And as I hear yours and in the 0:15:05.453 --> 0:15:09.173 beginning and growing up in Iowa and being biracial and 0:15:09.213 --> 0:15:12.053 being in all these different places with no stability and 0:15:12.373 --> 0:15:15.053 dad not around, I have to feel like it was 0:15:15.093 --> 0:15:17.093 super confusing for you also. 0:15:17.693 --> 0:15:21.013 It was confusing. But I think Dan took the route 0:15:21.013 --> 0:15:23.773 that my brothers took. So my brothers have all struggled 0:15:23.773 --> 0:15:27.413 with addiction, probably for those very reasons, you know, because 0:15:27.893 --> 0:15:31.053 as a man, it's the macho, it's you know, you 0:15:31.053 --> 0:15:33.373 guys are gonna get hit harder on the race thing 0:15:33.893 --> 0:15:36.453 than I as a female. You know, as a female, 0:15:36.453 --> 0:15:37.973 I can kind of you know, if I straighten my 0:15:38.013 --> 0:15:40.773 hair out, I'm a little bit more blendable. I'm not 0:15:40.813 --> 0:15:43.093 gonna lie, you know, like if I'm not if it's 0:15:43.093 --> 0:15:45.333 the winter and I lose my tea and I can 0:15:45.373 --> 0:15:48.693 get quite pasty, you know. So it's just it's a 0:15:48.773 --> 0:15:52.733 little bit different for the guys. And I think it's 0:15:52.773 --> 0:15:55.533 interesting because all of my brother well not all of them, 0:15:55.573 --> 0:15:57.653 two of my brothers have struggled and they've been open 0:15:57.693 --> 0:16:01.693 with this with addiction, you know. And I instead of 0:16:01.733 --> 0:16:04.653 having an addiction to drugs or anything, I had an 0:16:04.653 --> 0:16:08.413 addiction to like sports, like that's where I It was 0:16:08.453 --> 0:16:11.573 just I was locked in on sports because that's what 0:16:11.733 --> 0:16:13.653 that was like my saving grace, you know. 0:16:14.253 --> 0:16:17.293 Yeah, no doubt, and yeah, I mean I don't know 0:16:17.413 --> 0:16:20.013 a detail about your brother's stories, but I always tell 0:16:20.053 --> 0:16:23.133 people with as far as addiction is concerned, that I 0:16:23.133 --> 0:16:25.373 didn't set out thinking like I can't wait to just 0:16:26.413 --> 0:16:28.813 ruin my life and just crash and burn in flames 0:16:28.813 --> 0:16:31.493 by drinking and doing drugs. It started with, Nah, there's 0:16:31.533 --> 0:16:32.933 just a lot of shit going on in my head, 0:16:32.973 --> 0:16:34.893 a lot going on inside of me that I just 0:16:34.933 --> 0:16:36.253 want to change the way that I feel. I just 0:16:36.293 --> 0:16:38.413 wanted to quiet down a little bit. So it's like, 0:16:38.933 --> 0:16:41.373 you know, you can you can understand men more now. 0:16:41.413 --> 0:16:43.013 And I'm sure you can understand your brothers because it's 0:16:43.013 --> 0:16:44.893 like they didn't set out on the past just like 0:16:45.853 --> 0:16:48.453 be isolated from the fam and mess their life up. 0:16:48.493 --> 0:16:51.253 It was just like, nah, bro, like I'm I'm going 0:16:51.253 --> 0:16:53.173 through things. I just want to change how I feel. 0:16:53.733 --> 0:16:55.933 Yeah, And I think those fights that I was having 0:16:55.973 --> 0:16:59.293 in college, I remember specifically my brothers were starting to 0:16:59.293 --> 0:17:01.693 already have those in middle school in high school, you know, 0:17:01.933 --> 0:17:04.653 like with the race and this and this and that. Know, 0:17:04.693 --> 0:17:07.613 I didn't really get hit hard until a little bit later, 0:17:07.693 --> 0:17:09.773 but I was more mature and able to, you know, 0:17:10.493 --> 0:17:12.013 want how to put those hands on people. 0:17:12.053 --> 0:17:16.693 Don't did your dad also spend a lot of time 0:17:16.733 --> 0:17:18.973 growing up in Iowa? Because I would have to think 0:17:19.013 --> 0:17:21.493 if he was there also, it would be very confusing 0:17:21.533 --> 0:17:24.333 for him, which would make sense as to why maybe 0:17:24.373 --> 0:17:25.813 he went down that same road. 0:17:26.973 --> 0:17:29.333 Well, my dad was not in prison for any addiction. 0:17:29.573 --> 0:17:32.813 He was My dad was a military. He was golden 0:17:32.813 --> 0:17:37.093 gloves and boxing. You know, he is some wild stuff, 0:17:37.133 --> 0:17:39.653 Like I think he robbed a day, Like we don't 0:17:39.653 --> 0:17:42.213 even know all the stuff he did. Like he's like 0:17:42.333 --> 0:17:45.573 a cowboy, you know, he's he like he's the type 0:17:45.573 --> 0:17:47.853 of person that will be like bragging about how one 0:17:47.933 --> 0:17:52.093 time he outran a cop, you know. But then he's 0:17:52.133 --> 0:17:55.373 also the same type of dad that would when I remember, 0:17:55.413 --> 0:17:58.053 we'd always buy these crappy cars because we can't get 0:17:58.093 --> 0:18:00.573 a nice car. So whenever he would like whenever he 0:18:00.613 --> 0:18:02.893 would get out of jail, like it's he's back with 0:18:02.933 --> 0:18:05.933 my mom, like nothing skipped the beat, you know, And 0:18:07.213 --> 0:18:09.613 we'd buy these clappy cars because you know, we're not 0:18:09.733 --> 0:18:12.133 that rich, and they'd always break down. All these junkers, 0:18:12.173 --> 0:18:14.173 they always break down. So like there'd be times where 0:18:14.173 --> 0:18:16.133 we'd get stuck in the middle of nowhere. And this 0:18:16.173 --> 0:18:19.293 is before uber lift. You know, you can't afford a 0:18:19.293 --> 0:18:21.253 cab because cabs are back in the day, they were 0:18:21.333 --> 0:18:24.653 crazy expensive, you know. So we would get stuck with 0:18:24.693 --> 0:18:26.453 like a car, a broken car to have to make 0:18:26.453 --> 0:18:28.813 it haul and we'd have to run, you know. And 0:18:28.853 --> 0:18:30.773 there would be times where we didn't have a car 0:18:30.813 --> 0:18:33.893 at all, and we would run to the grocery store 0:18:34.453 --> 0:18:36.493 and I'd be with my dad like next to him, 0:18:36.493 --> 0:18:38.253 and he's teaching me how to run, and he's like 0:18:38.333 --> 0:18:40.453 carrying sacks of groceries and he's like all right, like 0:18:40.813 --> 0:18:43.853 control your breathing, like work on it, Like calm your 0:18:43.893 --> 0:18:46.733 heart rate. Like this is my dad in middle school, 0:18:47.893 --> 0:18:50.333 in and out of prison, you know, he's the one 0:18:50.333 --> 0:18:53.413 that's teaching me how to run, you know, And so 0:18:53.613 --> 0:18:57.173 like that's why I'm just I think we're so quick 0:18:57.213 --> 0:19:00.653 to just throw away people when they well, let's say 0:19:00.653 --> 0:19:05.093 they have addiction, or let's say they've been incarcerated. And 0:19:05.253 --> 0:19:08.133 I've had so many precious moments of my dad, you know, 0:19:08.693 --> 0:19:11.973 in which sweet you know, those crimes or whatever he 0:19:12.133 --> 0:19:13.893 was locked up for. I think one of them was like, 0:19:14.293 --> 0:19:18.813 you know, violating probation, you know, or who knows. 0:19:19.533 --> 0:19:21.333 I think for Darren and I, a lot of times 0:19:21.333 --> 0:19:24.893 we just didn't get caught and were offered a lot 0:19:24.893 --> 0:19:28.653 of grace from God. And yeah, I get that. I 0:19:28.653 --> 0:19:34.213 wanted to circle back to you for path into running 0:19:34.253 --> 0:19:38.413 where I've heard the story of that you became a 0:19:38.413 --> 0:19:40.333 good runner because you used to run to school? 0:19:40.413 --> 0:19:40.893 Is that right? 0:19:41.973 --> 0:19:42.173 Yeah? 0:19:42.413 --> 0:19:45.053 Run run? We never, like I said, we really never 0:19:45.093 --> 0:19:48.213 had a car. So any school I had to go to. 0:19:48.573 --> 0:19:53.573 I from elementary, middle school, and even high school, I 0:19:53.613 --> 0:19:58.733 walked every day. And I remember in middle school, you know, 0:19:58.893 --> 0:20:01.253 you walk in as a teenager you want to sleep in, 0:20:01.373 --> 0:20:04.653 so you realize, oh, well, like I can sleep it's 0:20:04.653 --> 0:20:06.453