Speaker 1: Forever love.
Speaker 2: How you doing, Marie, I'm good. How are your friend
Speaker 2: a fabulous I'm feeling it. The energy is great.
Speaker 3: I can smell it. You couldn't smell before. My sins
Speaker 3: were all fucked up. It's all congesticed, like an ear infection,
Speaker 3: your eyes and throat or whatever situations.
Speaker 2: I was going situas Willers. Yeah, I had my ear
Speaker 2: clogged and I couldn't clogged.
Speaker 3: It was clogged.
Speaker 2: I couldn't hear that well. And then my nose was congested.
Speaker 2: I was going through a lot. I think I had
Speaker 2: a head cold.
Speaker 4: You know, you look like with this hair now, is
Speaker 4: teeky Sumpter?
Speaker 3: Really?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And that Nobody's fool fast.
Speaker 2: Movie that nobody is gonna go see Nobody's full You
Speaker 2: look like nobody's Yeah. Yeah, Well she's got a strong face,
Speaker 2: so that's a compliment.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think.
Speaker 4: She's really pretty.
Speaker 3: Tiki, let me just let me just put it, pull
Speaker 3: it up so everybody in the students, and Marie, you
Speaker 3: really do look like migos? Didn't you so mad?
Speaker 4: Right this in Sydney look like that?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, great, Well I'm looking like I'm booking movies then
Speaker 2: and and regularly doing TV shows. Huh, she's on like
Speaker 2: she has a show. And I love the unicorner on
Speaker 2: your neck, bitch.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm still rocking my temporary church.
Speaker 3: That's so hot. Honestly, when I was Marigos for Halloween
Speaker 3: and had all those tattoos on my face, I was like,
Speaker 3: I get why people put tattoos on their face. You
Speaker 3: did look I felt like a badass. I said, you
Speaker 3: know what, I should put a tattoo on my face.
Speaker 3: You're pretty damn sexy. Put culture across my neck. I
Speaker 3: love it right on the jaw line.
Speaker 2: But the thing is that the unicorn, Uh, it was
Speaker 2: in color, so it's just it's a lot.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I got it done in the Japan when I.
Speaker 3: Was in Tokyo. Yeah, you know for work, yes.
Speaker 4: By and by work, I mean I was out there
Speaker 4: being a whe The.
Speaker 3: Tour was great. The tour was so great and it
Speaker 3: went well, Thank you so much. It's staying.
Speaker 4: I don't even rub my neck in the shower.
Speaker 3: I just tap it because I wanted to last as
Speaker 3: long as you're like your sister now, thank you so
Speaker 3: mad because she got those tattoos and now I feel
Speaker 3: like they are for real.
Speaker 5: Now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the sleeve.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she does it.
Speaker 3: She's great.
Speaker 4: It's crazy. So Amazon sells these like sleeve tattoos and
Speaker 4: you can just like have a tattoo, well your whole arm.
Speaker 2: Does Amazon sell hairlines? They need to do that for
Speaker 2: some of these niggas.
Speaker 3: I mean, you know these dudes are getting I don't know.
Speaker 4: Can black dudes get hair plugs?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 3: Is that a thing? Yes? They can? Anybody can care.
Speaker 4: What did Lebron James do?
Speaker 3: Because he was like bald and now he has like
Speaker 3: his hairline was here and now it's like at his brow.
Speaker 2: He was tired of people roasted him and I get it.
Speaker 4: And what a tiger do?
Speaker 3: Because tiger also didn't have no hair, but now he's
Speaker 3: got like twists.
Speaker 4: It's crazy.
Speaker 2: And then the other dude who was on Love and
Speaker 2: Hip Hop did it as well.
Speaker 3: Who Safari?
Speaker 2: Safari got freaking hair plugs and he had a strong
Speaker 2: Oh no, you know what, he's a nice person, so
Speaker 2: it's fine.
Speaker 3: Can I be a nice person with a strong hand's
Speaker 3: head with a buff forehead? Forehead is mess?
Speaker 2: Your forehead has uh has abs?
Speaker 3: Thank you so much, Marie. Were you are an expert?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: No, no, no, what you because I'm not like, God, Babby,
Speaker 4: what were you an expert in this week?
Speaker 2: Girl? When I tell y'all be ear hustling, I'm an
Speaker 2: expert in ear hustling.
Speaker 4: So eavesdropping.
Speaker 2: Yes, I was in an uber pool and I was
Speaker 2: in the front seat, and usually I just put my
Speaker 2: earphones on so I don't have to hear the bullshit.
Speaker 2: I'm usually like with the driver's playing. I usually don't
Speaker 2: like the conversations in the bag. But something told me
Speaker 2: take your earplugs out and listen up. So it was
Speaker 2: a guy and a girl and it seemed like they
Speaker 2: were having this somber conversation and it was getting real
Speaker 2: deep and dark.
Speaker 4: So you chilted your whole seat back.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, don't get good.
Speaker 4: You pulled the button and you're.
Speaker 2: Like they were talking about things that like were life
Speaker 2: changing for them and.
Speaker 3: In an uberpool, in an oberpool.
Speaker 2: I was like, you got to get your own car
Speaker 2: for this, Like you have to own a car to
Speaker 2: have this conversation.
Speaker 4: Now, you can't be deep in a pool.
Speaker 2: No, Like it's a shallow don't we don't deserve to
Speaker 2: hear your growth?
Speaker 3: We really don't. I don't know you from Adam.
Speaker 4: Is it growth if it's a ride share?
Speaker 3: So then the.
Speaker 2: Guy said that he basically tried to commit suicide, and
Speaker 2: he wrote a note, and then before he took the pills,
Speaker 2: he started to read the letter and it had mad
Speaker 2: grammatical errors. So he started to do another draft of it.
Speaker 2: He tried to appropread it, and he did it a
Speaker 2: couple of times, and that's what stopped him from committing suicide.
Speaker 3: And now he's a writer. Now he's writing a book.
Speaker 4: Is it a book?
Speaker 3: Is it just not suicide notes?
Speaker 4: Side notes?
Speaker 3: Was spelling error? It's just spelled chick suicide.
Speaker 4: Be a writer, Be a better writer before you die.
Speaker 3: Pretty much, honestly, if some semicolons in commons saved your life,
Speaker 3: I say, do it. That's a beautiful story. We know,
Speaker 3: so funny.
Speaker 2: But also was like, damn, that's something real. But if
Speaker 2: you want to die, do you even really care about
Speaker 2: what the letter is saying you?
Speaker 3: You're ready to peace out? Yeah, but he wasn't ready
Speaker 3: to die this. He was like, oh no, this, I wrote.
Speaker 4: Your instead of you. That's the wrong They're they're there
Speaker 4: too many theres Oh man, did I say you? And
Speaker 4: I didn't put it like.
Speaker 3: A yo, you just you say. He's like, oh, I'm texting, No, no,
Speaker 3: I gotta write the letter.
Speaker 2: You probably know his friends ain't ship, and they would
Speaker 2: read it out loud and they're like, oh, damn this nigga.
Speaker 4: I know people he killed themselves.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why I wouldn't even know. I already know
Speaker 2: my ship would be crazy crossing stuff.
Speaker 3: And to be trashed you're white out is bad. It's
Speaker 3: really Maybe do it in pencil, yeah.
Speaker 4: Or a raceable pin.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh remember when those mechanicals No, no, those are
Speaker 3: mechanical pencils.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I said, a racable pen Do they still
Speaker 4: make those?
Speaker 3: I don't know do they?
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 2: They're gonna go into a stationary store in years.
Speaker 3: He ain't been doing stable since nineteen seventy.
Speaker 2: So yeah, so I listened to I was ear hustling,
Speaker 2: and I was able to hear this story and it
Speaker 2: made me think about, damn, I want to be a
Speaker 2: better writer. I want to take a writing class. Not
Speaker 2: for my suicide note, but no, I just I just
Speaker 2: want to be a better writer.
Speaker 4: Are you going to take a writing class?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I am going to take a writing class.
Speaker 3: Interesting.
Speaker 2: I think it's necessary. It's like I want to learn
Speaker 2: how to write a sketch anyway.
Speaker 3: So good for you, friend. It was it was empowering.
Speaker 3: What did she say when he was saying this start
Speaker 3: like he so he was trying to kill himself. Yes,
Speaker 3: he took a couple of pills and.
Speaker 4: Then read the note and was like ah no no
Speaker 4: no no no no no no, this.
Speaker 2: Is no He was about to take the pills, but
Speaker 2: he was like, oh, let me just look at this
Speaker 2: letter real quick before I go.
Speaker 3: And then he was reading and he said he was struggling.
Speaker 3: He said it made no sense. Yeahide, they don't make sense.
Speaker 4: I can't take it anymore.
Speaker 2: Take what no Like, he was just really like the
Speaker 2: grammar was so bad, like none of him.
Speaker 4: It was like a lot of run on sentences.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like if you write like an abbreviations
Speaker 2: too much and you you do everything.
Speaker 4: He read phenographer suicide note.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's real short. It was.
Speaker 2: It was not good and he was just like, I
Speaker 2: want to be better at long form.
Speaker 3: He said it. He said it was like two pages.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's too many letters.
Speaker 3: That's too many pages. A suicide note should be a note,
Speaker 3: not a letter. A note is just like a couple
Speaker 3: of lines on a page. A letter is two double spaced,
Speaker 3: like maybe he should have typed it up. Nah, maybe
Speaker 3: you should have typed up the note and then signed it.
Speaker 4: Maybe hit it with like a little wax, put crest
Speaker 4: on it.
Speaker 2: If I do a suicide note, I'm taking all the
Speaker 2: letters from the newspaper.
Speaker 4: No, that's like a ransom note.
Speaker 3: But it could look like a ransom note you're making up.
Speaker 2: You're making a vision board suicide note. I'm not putting
Speaker 2: any words. Suicide is not funny, guys, but it's hilarious.
Speaker 4: Yes, suicide is not funny, but the note, this actual
Speaker 4: story in this uber bowl was funny. What did she
Speaker 4: say when he was Was she like, oh my god?
Speaker 3: So she laughed?
Speaker 4: Was the driver also to cut the radio down? You
Speaker 4: wrote a letter?
Speaker 3: Did you folded three times and put it in an envelow?
Speaker 3: You put it in an armagami type.
Speaker 1: Of he made a crane.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he made a little oregami box.
Speaker 2: He's alive, and I'm so I'm so glad. His name
Speaker 2: is Troy. I didn't get his last name, and then
Speaker 2: we're gonna be looking for it.
Speaker 4: For the book.
Speaker 3: It's gonna be a New York Times bestseller.
Speaker 2: It literally is like, that's how you, that's how you
Speaker 2: open up why I wrote the book.
Speaker 3: Honestly, I want the suicide note with the correction should
Speaker 3: be in the forward. Yes, damn.
Speaker 2: I should get in contact with this guy, be like,
Speaker 2: let me help you, let me help you do let
Speaker 2: me help you win.
Speaker 3: You with dad?
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 3: Anyway, Marie, what were.
Speaker 4: Your expert in this week?
Speaker 3: This week?
Speaker 4: I was an expert at self care.
Speaker 3: Okay. I made a lot of choices that I was like,
Speaker 3: this is this is for me. I need this right, Like,
Speaker 3: I had a show last week that I didn't want
Speaker 3: to do and I just didn't go to the show.
Speaker 3: Good for you, and stead I went to a party, Yes,
Speaker 3: And I get to this party and it's like out
Speaker 3: of space and we're walking up and the guys that
Speaker 3: I'm with it was like Calvin Cato and this other guy.
Speaker 3: And I was like, Halvin, do I need a ticket
Speaker 3: for this? And he was like, oh yeah, I bought
Speaker 3: a ticket for this party. And I was like, well,
Speaker 3: I'm not paying for a ticket. So we get to
Speaker 3: the We get to it was at Little Field. We
Speaker 3: get to this party.
Speaker 4: And I'm like I'm on the show.
Speaker 3: The guy at the ticket booth was like, show show,
Speaker 3: this is a party. I was like, yes, but I'm
Speaker 3: a comedian. I'm on the show, like real confident. And
Speaker 3: he was like, I'm sorry, is there a show happening tonight?
Speaker 3: And I was like, you tell me? Is this not
Speaker 3: little fit, like repeating the name of the venue, and
Speaker 3: he was like, yeah, this is the right space, but
Speaker 3: no one told me anything about a show. I said, well,
Speaker 3: maybe you should. Is there's someone about to speak to
Speaker 3: just real loud, real confident, real bold, And he was like,
Speaker 3: I mean I really, I'm not really sure. I felt
Speaker 3: like like my name was Karen, like I was asking
Speaker 3: to speak to somebody's manager. I was like. I was like, well,
Speaker 3: how about I just popping backstage and see if I
Speaker 3: can talk to somebody. And he was like okay, he said,
Speaker 3: but your friends have to stay up here. I was
Speaker 3: like I don't know that, and I let it and
Speaker 3: I go backstage. They're snacks, I'm eating, I'm drinking. I
Speaker 3: get a text from them like hey, what's going on?
Speaker 4: And I was like.
Speaker 3: Right, so I go.
Speaker 4: I'm backstage. I'm like, whose party is this?
Speaker 3: And they were like I'm so and so from such
Speaker 3: and such, and I was like, tell them so and
Speaker 3: so from such and such that it's cool. I texted
Speaker 3: them that and they let them in no problem. But
Speaker 3: they had to get tickets. Me self caress self care.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I mean, I just so. There were
Speaker 3: two shows that I was on in the last week
Speaker 3: that I didn't feel like doing, and I didn't do them.
Speaker 4: I just I didn't even say that I wasn't coming.
Speaker 3: I just didn't go, I'm proud of you. Me too.
Speaker 4: Honestly, It's like, what am I really gonna get out
Speaker 4: of this show?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: And this I'm gonna be annoyed in front.
Speaker 3: Of eight people.
Speaker 2: There was one show that was like in the like
Speaker 2: deep in in Brooklyn. They didn't even message me because
Speaker 2: they were like, she she ain't coming, Like she's not
Speaker 2: coming all the way to rich Wood. Yeah, she ain't
Speaker 2: come in to Long Island.
Speaker 3: It's not happening.
Speaker 4: I don't like comedy that much.
Speaker 3: I mean one of the shows I missed I missed
Speaker 3: because I was at your.
Speaker 4: House watching a movie marathon and I was like, I'm comfortable.
Speaker 3: It's weed here. There's a vacuum of weed.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 3: We were doing great.
Speaker 4: We're vaping.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Self care.
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, guys listening to this, self care is available
Speaker 3: to you as well. Just take a day when you're like, no,
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna do that.
Speaker 2: Speaking of now, I'm not gonna do that. Are the
Speaker 2: next guest.
Speaker 4: It's definitely not gonna do.
Speaker 3: It in that.
Speaker 4: Definitely not out about that.
Speaker 2: And it's crazy that my expertise was about this guy
Speaker 2: with the suicide note this, I feel like your thing is.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Anyway, he is a comedian. Yes, he has a podcast
Speaker 2: called The Book of Yay.
Speaker 4: The Book of ya it's all about Kanye West.
Speaker 3: It's all about Kanye.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I don't know if y'all want to, I mean, we're
Speaker 4: on it.
Speaker 3: It was amazing.
Speaker 4: I had a black our episode.
Speaker 3: It's great. Yeah. Uh. He is our Cheating Death Expert
Speaker 3: slash Final Destination Expert because I watched the movie recently
Speaker 3: and I think it's great.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's Chris Daniels. Guys, Hey, Chris Chris daniel it's
Speaker 4: to have you on the students.
Speaker 1: It is good to be here for the first time.
Speaker 1: For the first time first, because I don't know what
Speaker 1: podcasts y'all are talking about I don't do a podcast.
Speaker 1: This is the first.
Speaker 4: Podcast, don't do anymore. It's on the wall.
Speaker 3: Is it defunct? Is it canceled?
Speaker 1: I don't know what that is.
Speaker 4: You're not doing ya because Kanye lost his damn mine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know nothing about your podcast.
Speaker 3: He signed something you can't speak on it.
Speaker 4: I got you boot you signed an NDA?
Speaker 2: He sure did, said I don't speak of those things.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to create some distance for myself.
Speaker 3: Okay. That's called self care? Is self care?
Speaker 6: Is is self care? I decided I wasn't going to go
Speaker 6: to work today and I just came here. So this
Speaker 6: is my I'm not gonna do it.
Speaker 4: Chris got a job.
Speaker 1: I got a job nine to five five. Where do
Speaker 1: you work Somewhere?
Speaker 3: It's called self care?
Speaker 4: Not where you work? Self care?
Speaker 3: I got it. I love that. Uh So, Chris, let's
Speaker 3: get into this cheating death situation. First, do you have
Speaker 3: anything you have any thoughts on either self care or
Speaker 3: Sydney's suicide spell checks?
Speaker 6: I'm the suicide spell check thing called me just because
Speaker 6: I feel like you really should follow up this with this, dude,
Speaker 6: Because one, I want to know what he's going to
Speaker 6: be right, Is it just gonna be all suicide and
Speaker 6: death related stuff? Because I feel like if you haven't
Speaker 6: even mastered like the Theirs and Theirs and theirs, like
Speaker 6: maybe you should not focus on too many plots and instructions.
Speaker 4: He's trying to start like it's gonna be a fiction
Speaker 4: or nonfiction.
Speaker 2: Well, I think he wants to focus on like that
Speaker 2: thing that stops you from killing is killing yourself, and
Speaker 2: like how just holding on and waiting, waiting for another day.
Speaker 3: For tonight, waiting for to No.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you it can like change your life. It can
Speaker 2: keep you here. So I should find I should have.
Speaker 3: I wonder what the percentage of people who want to
Speaker 3: kill themselves and don't is, like the people who like
Speaker 3: sit out to do it and then they're like at
Speaker 3: the last minute, they're like like I wonder what that.
Speaker 2: I think it's high. Yeah, I think it's really Especially
Speaker 2: in New York. Every fucking day you're like I'm ready
Speaker 2: to go.
Speaker 6: We we just don't get that far along. He's get distracted.
Speaker 6: You got too much stuff to do.
Speaker 4: I mean, I feel like millennials, it's gonna be hard.
Speaker 3: It's harder for like gen X and gen I don't
Speaker 3: know whatever generation is after us Gane. I feel like
Speaker 3: it's gonna be hard for them. Everybody's attention span is
Speaker 3: so short. Yeah, it's gonna be like, I'm gonna kill myself.
Speaker 4: Let me check the Instagram. Oh okay, I got a mess.
Speaker 3: Oh a rabbit holes put a new post up like that.
Speaker 4: I feel like it's gonna be harder to do it.
Speaker 2: Or you're like, I want to kill myself, but I
Speaker 2: do got pizza rolls.
Speaker 1: And I should eat these birthday parties that too.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean people do do it though.
Speaker 3: So yeah. But but Chris, where are you from? Matter
Speaker 3: of fact?
Speaker 1: Originally from Detroit?
Speaker 3: Wow? I didn't know that from.
Speaker 4: The get it from?
Speaker 3: Get it from eight miles.
Speaker 1: Wow, west side Clarimont.
Speaker 3: How'd you get out? Man?
Speaker 1: We moved.
Speaker 6: We moved to the suburbs when I was like, uh, fifteen,
Speaker 6: like my freshman year of high school. I remember, I
Speaker 6: didn't want to go. My parents are like yo, they
Speaker 6: excited me, and my brother's down. They did that thing
Speaker 6: where they like tried to give us like the option,
Speaker 6: but it's not really like a choice. And I met her, like,
Speaker 6: you know, we want to know what you guys think
Speaker 6: about moving to the suburbs.
Speaker 3: And Chris was like, I want to do hood rap
Speaker 3: things with my friends and they were like no.
Speaker 6: I immediately started. I was like, okay, I need to
Speaker 6: I need to prove why. So I started working on
Speaker 6: like a like a PowerPoint presentation. Wow, it was there,
Speaker 6: like slide one.
Speaker 3: That's literally cheating death right there. Yeah, it was.
Speaker 4: You made a power point to stay in the hood.
Speaker 3: And your parents were like, no stars out, too many
Speaker 3: swipe aways inside.
Speaker 1: One was like there's too many white people. That was it.
Speaker 6: And they're like carried on that for like three slides,
Speaker 6: and they were like, yeah, we're going anyways.
Speaker 4: What do your parents do.
Speaker 1: My mom's a nurse. Well now she's like.
Speaker 4: Oh our nurse and an operating room there come.
Speaker 3: And the scalpel.
Speaker 1: My stepdad works for the I R S.
Speaker 3: Now, your stepdad is trash.
Speaker 2: No, what's your dad's name, like the like the government?
Speaker 3: No first name? O?
Speaker 1: Sam?
Speaker 2: Okay, So what I gotta do to get Sam to
Speaker 2: suw me out?
Speaker 3: Fo me? Man?
Speaker 2: I am fucking struggling with this I R S situation.
Speaker 3: Can you pull some strings?
Speaker 1: Just one string? Yeah? Maybe one? I think one's not
Speaker 1: too bad.
Speaker 3: The whole thing on a ravel. Well, the one string
Speaker 3: is just lift.
Speaker 6: All the data I need to know, like if you
Speaker 6: need like a Wesley Snipe steal, like I don't know,
Speaker 6: because he still went to jail.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just reduced time.
Speaker 3: How long was Wesley Snipes in jail for like three years?
Speaker 3: That's too long.
Speaker 2: Sidney can't go to jail for three years. She can't
Speaker 2: wear the same wig for three years. Oh, you can't
Speaker 2: wear wigs also.
Speaker 4: Aren't Is the new black?
Speaker 3: Is a damn lie because they let Laverne Cocks wear
Speaker 3: a full lace front and you can and you can't
Speaker 3: wear a win in jail. She would have plats, she'd
Speaker 3: have seay color purple braids or fade or faith that
Speaker 3: to Laverne that like isn't at like a synthetic you
Speaker 3: know what? Anyway, whatever, God, shut up, Very it's you
Speaker 3: know these TV shows live.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, so your dad's in the irs.
Speaker 3: Good for you. So you moved to the suburbs, you're
Speaker 3: surrounded by white people. Yeah, so talk to us about
Speaker 3: the first time you cheated death.
Speaker 6: Yes, okay, I don't know. I don't know if it's
Speaker 6: a cheat or it's just like a fuck up in
Speaker 6: the system. So I was in the wound yet to
Speaker 6: be born.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was.
Speaker 4: A few Mom took a Plan B and you still
Speaker 4: came out.
Speaker 3: Yo. That is literally the cheating that has happened because
Speaker 3: they're like ninety nine percent effective. Imagine you take a
Speaker 3: Plan B and you still have a baby. I'm that
Speaker 3: baby's gonna uh, you know, cure cancer or something.
Speaker 6: So apparently the doctors thought that I was in trouble
Speaker 6: because like they thought the umbilical chorus wrapped around my
Speaker 6: neck and they were like, Okay, we need to do
Speaker 6: like an emergency C section.
Speaker 4: How many months was your mom?
Speaker 1: I think I was like, uh three months early?
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: Three.
Speaker 3: I feel like you should have a smaller head. You
Speaker 3: should have a smaller army shoulders, your hands should be tiny.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just wow, you're.
Speaker 3: A big boy's a big one.
Speaker 6: I feel like my head is actually kind of small.
Speaker 6: But I had to grow the dreads just like proportion
Speaker 6: dress out because that was the shoulder. Said was like
Speaker 6: you like men in black character, I see it.
Speaker 4: Some big shoulder.
Speaker 3: They're great there. Do you work them.
Speaker 1: Out like that or a little bit? Yeah, it's a.
Speaker 3: Ball bad just a good shoulder. Yeah, I'm looking to
Speaker 3: see these tiny shoulders now, and it's like, wow.
Speaker 4: Look how big Chris is.
Speaker 1: You know her proportion is right?
Speaker 3: Are right? Yeah, they're right, but like, wow, that's a
Speaker 3: manly shoulder. So they thought you were dying three months early.
Speaker 3: They looking at the grainy at.
Speaker 1: Sonogram Hospital and Detroit.
Speaker 3: She was pixelated like a galaxy. That's why it was
Speaker 3: a Nokia flip. Yeah.
Speaker 4: He was like, it looks like he's choking, but it's
Speaker 4: literally a shadow. It was.
Speaker 2: It was a dreads Yeah.
Speaker 6: Whatever, nineteen ninety fucking Android sonogram whatever. They're looking at that,
Speaker 6: think I'm choking. They got to go in, give me out,
Speaker 6: And it turns out that they just looked at it wrong.
Speaker 6: I was fucking chilling, chilling, I was, I was still cooking,
Speaker 6: and they took me out.
Speaker 1: Be like now I'm out. So I'm here.
Speaker 4: So so you were seven months no, Sis, three months.
Speaker 3: Early is sick.
Speaker 4: Yeah, pregnancy is not.
Speaker 3: It's just it.
Speaker 2: Nobody's well done, baby, Sis.
Speaker 1: It came out with a mustache.
Speaker 3: Grown ass man and glasses, coming out with a briefcase. Yeah,
Speaker 3: with timblin boots. Let me get on that.
Speaker 2: I was doing a lot of work in there.
Speaker 3: So you were six months?
Speaker 4: Yeah, so were a tiny premium.
Speaker 6: I was tiny and then I had a coat like
Speaker 6: I had like my lung was like one thing. They
Speaker 6: were like, this is like gonna be undeveloped.
Speaker 4: Like oh like nemos Finn.
Speaker 3: Shut up like a little what is wrong with you?
Speaker 7: Wait?
Speaker 3: So okay, So, and I don't know if you've looked
Speaker 3: into this at all, but like at six months, because
Speaker 3: we're in the womb for nine months because we need
Speaker 3: more time to cook, So what what the other three
Speaker 3: months your lungs would have fully developed?
Speaker 4: And like what else do you even know?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 6: I mean I feel like all right, and maybe there
Speaker 6: could be some dispute on this. But like when I
Speaker 6: was growing up, I'll go to a pediatrician and they
Speaker 6: would do like, okay, this is where you're tracking like
Speaker 6: height wise and things like that, and they're like, by
Speaker 6: the looks of it, uh, you should be like a
Speaker 6: six four six five dude.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 6: They did the same thing for my brother six four
Speaker 6: sixty five. This is what you guys gonna be. So
Speaker 6: I'm like kid growing up, I'm like I got options,
Speaker 6: like you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm gonna go pro.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna go pro or I'm gonna be like a
Speaker 6: love interest on Insecure. That's what I'm thinking.
Speaker 2: I totally see that you can do you can do it,
Speaker 2: but you guys still do it?
Speaker 4: Now what your six ft and do it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Six feet draw is tall? The un Asian dude.
Speaker 1: Lawrence is. Lawrence is like six to five.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I don't know if he's six five. But the light
Speaker 4: skin dude he's this new man is not tall. No,
Speaker 4: he's a short to do it. He's a short to
Speaker 4: do what he's given me, like a cool five nine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's probably he's.
Speaker 1: A he's a blip though. He ain't gonna be around.
Speaker 3: So you know, you know next season.
Speaker 4: You you got the cheat codes they write us room.
Speaker 3: What's going on?
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, it looked like he was done.
Speaker 3: Nah'm coming back, dude. It does feel like he's done
Speaker 3: because he like disappeared and then he came back. He's
Speaker 3: gonna be in the new season. He's gonna be in
Speaker 3: a couple episodes. Yeah, they bought Lawrence back.
Speaker 1: You ain't gonna you ain't gonna ever him. Stand next
Speaker 1: to Lawrence.
Speaker 4: And Lexton Kerman, who was Molly's love interest.
Speaker 3: He's short and he was on the show and she's tall,
Speaker 3: very tough, and they put him on his little apple
Speaker 3: box and he stood next to her at the cemetery herd.
Speaker 2: He had lifts and his Jordan's what.
Speaker 3: Okay, boom, Chris. They told you was gonna be six four,
Speaker 3: you're six ft. You're terribly upset about it.
Speaker 6: I am terribly upset because my brother got six four.
Speaker 6: He actually got it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you're a tall guy, Like, what's your fine?
Speaker 3: We're not feeling sorry for you, dude.
Speaker 6: I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm just saying, like, this
Speaker 6: is what it was supposed to mean.
Speaker 3: What were you gonna do? What were you said you
Speaker 3: had options? Were you trying to play ball? I mean,
Speaker 3: can you play basketball?
Speaker 2: I'm pretty good show us the tapes.
Speaker 3: Have a TV.
Speaker 1: I was playing basketball.
Speaker 4: Yes, you don't have any tape, is what you're saying.
Speaker 3: Okay, you can't believe I heard you. Gotta tape yourself.
Speaker 2: You gotta submit self tapes for a street ball for
Speaker 2: an one.
Speaker 1: What would your nickname?
Speaker 3: Right now? He is that tiny pin and you like, listen,
Speaker 3: do it that listeners. You can't. You gotta be here, man.
Speaker 4: Act out is brilliant.
Speaker 3: This is some of your best words. You need an
Speaker 3: award for how messy that was the glow and at
Speaker 3: least okay, So Chris, that you you're born three months early,
Speaker 3: you're incubating. That's crazy that they can just pull a
Speaker 3: baby out of six months and be like, ye, we
Speaker 3: thought he was so they can open your mom up,
Speaker 3: see that you're not choking, and then they still got
Speaker 3: to pull you out. They can't like took you mecuum.
Speaker 2: You don't have a pop pie. It's like a chicken
Speaker 2: pot pie.
Speaker 1: You got you gotta refrigerate, you gotta put it on ice.
Speaker 3: You you know what it is. It's like you know
Speaker 3: when you like they vacuum seal a can and then
Speaker 3: the thing pops open and then when you close it
Speaker 3: back up, it says, don't purchase if the top is up. Yeah, serious,
Speaker 3: The top was okay?
Speaker 2: But let me did y'all know that I was born
Speaker 2: a little early too, and because I ate the placenta,
Speaker 2: the placenta, so I was sick?
Speaker 4: Is that why you're lesbian? Sh gross?
Speaker 6: Honestly, how are you?
Speaker 3: I'm done nemos.
Speaker 2: And so they had to shave all my hair. They
Speaker 2: had to do a surgery. I was in the hospital
Speaker 2: for an extra like three three weeks.
Speaker 3: Wait, you can eat the placenta, I s I feel
Speaker 3: like you should be able to do that as it looks,
Speaker 3: but it has like but it.
Speaker 2: Has like all the bile and the poop and everything.
Speaker 3: It has that all that greedy ass feetus. You're like,
Speaker 3: I'm hungry.
Speaker 2: I ain't got a should be hungry.
Speaker 4: And they were like, oh no, look how pruney she is.
Speaker 4: She ate the placenta.
Speaker 3: We gotta shave her head. They shaved my mother.
Speaker 4: Theyve you're soft. My mother cried so hard.
Speaker 3: She's like, I was like, what the hell did I
Speaker 3: look like?
Speaker 2: My sister said, I looked like a lizard, looked like
Speaker 2: Grace Jones.
Speaker 3: Like it was just a great Jones is a powerful comparion.
Speaker 3: They can shave a baby with a squishy heads head, Yeah,
Speaker 3: they can like reshape it.
Speaker 4: So the razor, Yeah, they had to do it.
Speaker 2: They had to take my hair. I had hair, and
Speaker 2: that's why my edges are thin.
Speaker 3: That's how you're fines.
Speaker 2: They shaved your head and they shaved my head prematurely
Speaker 2: and they never go back.
Speaker 4: Wait, so they shaved your head and then what they
Speaker 4: had to cut your head open? I don't know.
Speaker 2: They had to they had to do surgery on my
Speaker 2: I had like a little surgery, so I dud.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Sidney would have been rich if she wasn't born
Speaker 3: eating placentia. I also was born earlier.
Speaker 4: But I was a fat baby, So that's it.
Speaker 3: It's weird because you're Haitian. So I mean, I don't
Speaker 3: understand what that means. But everybody on my dad's side
Speaker 3: is fat, So it's fat Haitians.
Speaker 1: Wait, so how come after like girls get like you
Speaker 1: can give birth and then some moms eat the placenta.
Speaker 4: It's supposed to be good for you, but only because
Speaker 4: they saw tay it.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Flip it.
Speaker 1: All right, you.
Speaker 2: Can law placenta. You have the old maionnaire huh some
Speaker 2: Larry garlic salt hat hat and then you you.
Speaker 4: See it, yeah, you Emerald Lagasi it you see it.
Speaker 2: You eat a placenta tartar yeah, and then you Julian
Speaker 2: a couple of carrots for it.
Speaker 4: Boom boom. This is a food network. They missing out
Speaker 4: on Rachel, right, don't even know about.
Speaker 1: Your secret ingredient is.
Speaker 4: And everyone's like, I'm like a smoothie for sure.
Speaker 2: I was just wondering if I could get a dash
Speaker 2: of Can I have the placenta avocado toast?
Speaker 4: Thank you so much? Okay, fourteen dollars, he's more than that.
Speaker 3: Probably sometime he's expensive.
Speaker 1: It's hard to get.
Speaker 3: I mean Sidney had it for free, which is my
Speaker 3: Oh my god, what another time that you cheated death.
Speaker 3: I mean you got out of Detroit, that's what you won. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean you're in New York now, so you might
Speaker 3: done tonight again.
Speaker 1: All right. I need to just give you like the
Speaker 1: one that connects that. So when I was twenty, I uh,
Speaker 1: I was driving, and what kind of car were you in?
Speaker 1: My first car? It was a ninety two SOB sob.
Speaker 4: Oh, you definitely didn't want to live.
Speaker 3: Why were you going to sob?
Speaker 1: It was like this kind of my parents got me.
Speaker 3: They didn't want you to live.
Speaker 4: They were setting you up, dude, I don't know what.
Speaker 4: I've never seen those any rest.
Speaker 6: It was a stick shift and they like they got
Speaker 6: they got it from me for my seventeenth birthday and
Speaker 6: my stepdad he was like one of those like.
Speaker 1: Dad dad dudes.
Speaker 6: He like he was like all right, He like drove
Speaker 6: me like a couple of miles away. He was like
Speaker 6: showing me, all right, this is what you do.
Speaker 3: And then damn, this is a sob. I just googled it.
Speaker 3: This is what you drove.
Speaker 1: Yep, that was it.
Speaker 6: It was white terrible carous So he like drives me
Speaker 6: like two miles away, and he's like, all right, this
Speaker 6: is what you do. And he like got out and
Speaker 6: his friend picked him up. He was like see you
Speaker 6: at home, and that was it. He just left, just left,
Speaker 6: and he was like, you have to figure out how
Speaker 6: to get home driving a stick.
Speaker 3: I wonder he works for the I R S. He's ruthless.
Speaker 2: Yes, no heart, soul gone dead inside anyway.
Speaker 4: So he just drove you somewhere, showed you how to
Speaker 4: do it, and was like bye.
Speaker 6: So I was just like stalling for two miles back home,
Speaker 6: just like that, dude. Everybody hates in the middle.
Speaker 1: Of the street.
Speaker 4: And you had never driven a car before.
Speaker 1: I never driven a stick shift before.
Speaker 3: That was it.
Speaker 4: That's crazy.
Speaker 3: And the stick is not easy.
Speaker 4: You gotta like, you gotta use both.
Speaker 6: You got to you gotta know how to use the
Speaker 6: clutch and everything. That shit takes like a day.
Speaker 4: I was like, you couldn't take coordination.
Speaker 1: You can take me to like a church, parking lot
Speaker 1: or pathmark or something.
Speaker 4: He had things to do. He had, He had a friend, pig.
Speaker 1: Up bro some errand he drove from my birthday part.
Speaker 4: He drew from your birthday party.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was at my birthday party, and he drove.
Speaker 1: He went back to the park.
Speaker 3: Stepdad is ruthless. He was like, I'm gonna go back
Speaker 3: and get some wings.
Speaker 1: I can't be mad. He got me a card.
Speaker 2: Sixties sins they do something nicey.
Speaker 3: They could still be shitty.
Speaker 4: Okay, I mean it was a SOB six shift, and
Speaker 4: but you made it back to the party.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: So, but the car actually ended up saving my life.
Speaker 6: So I'm just driving, uh, same day, No, no, no,
Speaker 6: this is a couple of years later. I was on
Speaker 6: my way to a party and I'm exiting the highway
Speaker 6: the four lane exit too left, too right. Second from
Speaker 6: the left is the guy next to me. We both
Speaker 6: see that it's like kind of clear to go left.
Speaker 6: It's like a blinking red so it's kind of going here.
Speaker 6: When you see it's good.
Speaker 1: Okay, you start turning. Next thing, I know, I just
Speaker 1: wake up upside down? What yeah?
Speaker 4: Wake up?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I woke up in the sop in the side.
Speaker 1: It was in the back seat.
Speaker 4: Now, oh, you weren't wearing a seatbelt. No, but she
Speaker 4: was like, I'm cool. You had a seat tilted batish.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean I mean, don't you're on your.
Speaker 3: Big shoulders and small head. Yeah. He was like, I'm good.
Speaker 6: I literally woke up to like when it was EMTD
Speaker 6: is just like slapping the ship out of my arm,
Speaker 6: just like hey, are you okay, Like can you feel this?
Speaker 6: And I was just like I was like kind of
Speaker 6: like hard, come too. He was actually like he was
Speaker 6: slapping it and I wasn't really responding, and he like this.
Speaker 1: Is like tickle. Thing was weird, and you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's like it's kind of weird to come to, like
Speaker 1: a bitch. It was weird.
Speaker 3: He started doing situation. You're like, I can do it.
Speaker 4: So you and your nemo hand.
Speaker 3: He's slapping you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he slapping my Then I come to and I'm
Speaker 1: like yeah, and I like grab his arm and then
Speaker 1: they like rip the door.
Speaker 4: Off, ripped like the Jaws of Life. Yeah, the firefighters
Speaker 4: had to do it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, they came in. They had to like yank the
Speaker 6: door off, and like this car is built like a tank.
Speaker 6: It's like back when they just like everything was like
Speaker 6: still made metal. So it's super heavy, so hard. Yeah,
Speaker 6: so they so.
Speaker 2: Hard while Sydney he turned on to get through Nasty,
Speaker 2: plasing to eat nasty.
Speaker 6: As they dragged me out, they put me on like
Speaker 6: the board. They cut off my clothes off the middle
Speaker 6: the street. The super cood was and winter we did
Speaker 6: chest that name.
Speaker 3: They weren't working out.
Speaker 1: I wasn't working out at the time, so you had a.
Speaker 3: B two K chess.
Speaker 4: They're like, so they cut your pants off to.
Speaker 1: Cut everything because they got to make sure you're all right,
Speaker 1: what a show.
Speaker 3: I'm here for the show.
Speaker 1: I was covered pretty quickly.
Speaker 4: They were like, I don't want to see that towel scalvel.
Speaker 4: They're like, let's put your fitted on it, just putting
Speaker 4: me the hat.
Speaker 6: Then they put me in the back of the ambulance.
Speaker 6: By the way, ambulance is probably the most comfortable place
Speaker 6: I've ever.
Speaker 1: Been in my life.
Speaker 3: The ambulance ride is like eleven thousand dollars that's why
Speaker 3: it's comfortable, because you didn't get the billion.
Speaker 6: There's a perfect temperature that exists, and it's in the
Speaker 6: back of an ambulance.
Speaker 5: No it is.
Speaker 3: I was cold, which and this was you with something
Speaker 3: something in Harlem, so it was trash. I was also
Speaker 3: in Massachusetts as well. They had the windows open. We
Speaker 3: need to air this thing out. She smells bed.
Speaker 1: So the whole time, I like, can't see and I
Speaker 1: don't really know why you can't see.
Speaker 6: I can't see. And I get to the hospital do
Speaker 6: all the pre checks. When they're like checking like okay,
Speaker 6: there's no internal bleeding. I do like the scans, quick scans,
Speaker 6: and then I go into like the nurses room or whatever,
Speaker 6: and they're like, Chris, can you can you open your eyes?
Speaker 6: And I'm like, oh shit, I never thought about trying that.
Speaker 6: So that I opened my eyes and I can just
Speaker 6: hear that. It's like like cracking sound and it's like
Speaker 6: all the glass.
Speaker 1: From the windshield had gone into like my eyes.
Speaker 7: Ah yeah, oh my god, shattered eyes turned Wait the
Speaker 7: glass your eyes were closed.
Speaker 6: And then you open they were closed. When I came
Speaker 6: to I could I hadn't tried to open them.
Speaker 1: I don't even know why.
Speaker 6: So they told me to try open your eyes, and
Speaker 6: that's what happened when I tried. So, but apparently like
Speaker 6: this happens pretty often because they straight up just to
Speaker 6: like like turn me over and they literally like ship
Speaker 6: my head like like a middle school bully, like looking
Speaker 6: for change, and ship just like shook it out.
Speaker 3: And all the glass came out of your eyes.
Speaker 1: Most of it. They have like a little device to
Speaker 1: actually stick in there that like flushes all the ship last. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all the shadow.
Speaker 2: So what happened to your eyes? You obviously not Rachels.
Speaker 1: So what's up?
Speaker 3: I got a warm up?
Speaker 1: My god, it wasn't. It was like.
Speaker 3: It was like, you're obviously not Stevie.
Speaker 1: Wonder they re lacerated, but it was like only like
Speaker 1: a week.
Speaker 3: So they gave you lasic for free.
Speaker 4: Said, did you know what the word that's rated?
Speaker 5: Me?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're looking up the word a deep cut or
Speaker 3: tear in skin or flesh. So your eyes were last
Speaker 3: the riding.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 3: Wait, you got blue Cross.
Speaker 1: I think I have blue Cross at the time.
Speaker 4: He got that IRS insurance. He's doing fine. But what happened,
Speaker 4: like what car hits yours?
Speaker 1: And you I got tea bones. So it's like, uh,
Speaker 1: straight up by a truck.
Speaker 6: Truck hit me on the driver's side, and that's why
Speaker 6: I flipped, and that's why I ended up in the
Speaker 6: back seat because I wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Speaker 1: You should be dead, yeah, I really should be.
Speaker 4: I should be on the driver's side.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Sidney, So wait, it's everything, Okay, this
Speaker 3: is something I just please. She's reading magazines and we're
Speaker 3: talking about Chris's lacerations.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm like, nothing happened, dude, he got t bone
Speaker 2: but on the driver's side.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like the truck hit me like right where my
Speaker 1: door was.
Speaker 4: This is some Finalist Nation stuff for really.
Speaker 6: But like the total list of injuries, it was like,
Speaker 6: besides eyeballs had a concussion, I have five broken ribs
Speaker 6: and I had a hole like in my lung.
Speaker 1: The baby line the baby the memo along.
Speaker 3: But dad.
Speaker 1: So and its fucked up. As they told me this,
Speaker 1: and then the next.
Speaker 4: Day, your dad was like, you got to drive home.
Speaker 6: Dad was like you it won't see you back of
Speaker 6: the crib. No, So I'm expecting to being here for
Speaker 6: a while. And then one of the nurses like all right, Well,
Speaker 6: you can't do anything about your ribs because like you don't.
Speaker 3: We don't do ribs here, you know, like what happened?
Speaker 3: How do you fix the ribs?
Speaker 6: They just heal on They don't do cast nothing. You
Speaker 6: just have to like be like that's why, Like if
Speaker 6: you have anybody, you're seeing noybody with broken ribs, like
Speaker 6: this sucks to breathe, It sucks to laugh, like you chuckle,
Speaker 6: and that shit hurts everything.
Speaker 3: And how long does it take to heal?
Speaker 1: A month? Like two months? Three months?
Speaker 3: Two months?
Speaker 4: You had five broken ribs? Yeah, so where your seat
Speaker 4: building now?
Speaker 6: So you can't do nothing. And for some reason somebody
Speaker 6: was like that kind of heills on its own. So
Speaker 6: you can go home, like you just have to. You
Speaker 6: can bet if you want. And my family was like
Speaker 6: all right, cool, So he took me home. I'm like
Speaker 6: sitting on the couch eating conana, like i'ma be here
Speaker 6: for a while, and then I get a call from
Speaker 6: my cell phone. My cell phone, my parents are gonna
Speaker 6: picked it up in the middle.
Speaker 1: Of the street. It was all fucked up. It was
Speaker 1: O LG. Voyager. I had to like hold it like
Speaker 1: in two pieces.
Speaker 3: I feel like cell phones back in the day used
Speaker 3: to be real resilient. Yeah, like they were built to last.
Speaker 3: Now these little sexy ass iPhones they break you.
Speaker 1: I trapped this and it's like the whole thing like
Speaker 1: it got this, got like a bullet this.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like unsolved mysteries.
Speaker 6: I get a call and it's like the hospital. They're
Speaker 6: like is this Chris. I'm like yeah, and I'm They're
Speaker 6: like where are you? And I'm like, I'm at home.
Speaker 6: Y'all said I could peace out, And then they're like
Speaker 6: you got to get back to the hospital right now.
Speaker 6: Or I'm like why, like cause you have a hole
Speaker 6: in your lung and it's like and it's if your
Speaker 6: lung collapses while you're like sitting on the couch, like
Speaker 6: you will just like we can't help you, you will
Speaker 6: just die.
Speaker 4: Just let you go. But they knew that here shoot home.
Speaker 2: And then they were like, actually they didn't even get
Speaker 2: anybody to come pick you up.
Speaker 1: You had to come over there they could have. My
Speaker 1: family is like we're in a car, like right now,
Speaker 1: we're heading to that.
Speaker 3: No, but I want an ambulance to come to do
Speaker 3: a right. Family don't do it right.
Speaker 4: They just throw you around and.
Speaker 3: Then they like hitting potholes. They're hitting so but they
Speaker 3: knew that you're ris.
Speaker 6: I think if anything I've learned is just like it's
Speaker 6: like these doctors be fucking up.
Speaker 4: All the time, all the time regularly.
Speaker 2: That's why people be ready to sue because they're like, wait,
Speaker 2: that person was fine, all of a sudden they dead, Like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you fucked up.
Speaker 4: That's crazy.
Speaker 1: I had to stay there for like like ten days.
Speaker 4: So how do they fix a hole in your lungs?
Speaker 6: It's basically they said the lung was like borderline. It
Speaker 6: was like, Okay, it's big enough to like something could happen,
Speaker 6: but it also could like start to heal on its own.
Speaker 6: If it starts hell on its own, you're fine. If
Speaker 6: it doesn't start to heal, they would have to like
Speaker 6: cut my side and like stick like.
Speaker 4: A tube in so you can breathe through the tube.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, something like that. I didn't have to get Luckily,
Speaker 1: I didn't have to go to that point.
Speaker 3: Well, because when your lungs are there's a hole in them,
Speaker 3: you're just breathing in blood.
Speaker 4: Yes, like you're basically drowning in your blood.
Speaker 3: M god, guys, way to bring the mood down. I mean,
Speaker 3: I'm just alive. I'm not a doctor or anything, but
Speaker 3: raise it out of me on that ho And then
Speaker 3: what's another time that you almost I can't believe that
Speaker 3: you've almost died twice? How much all that costs?
Speaker 4: Dude, who's paying for all this?
Speaker 1: That was.
Speaker 3: Family wouldn't have let me forgot about that. They'd be like,
Speaker 3: remember the time, this is where did your insurance go up?
Speaker 6: Because Michigan is a no fault state, So it's like
Speaker 6: what that means. It basically means unless it's like an
Speaker 6: obvious like Okay, this person like did some reckless on
Speaker 6: their own.
Speaker 1: If it's like two people in collision, it's like you.
Speaker 4: Basically Walmart truck t boned you and you got no
Speaker 4: money from it.
Speaker 6: You couldn't sue because because then they also had a case.
Speaker 6: They also had a case where it's like, oh, you
Speaker 6: you possibly drove into the intersection and like cut them
Speaker 6: off some ship. It's like so a toss up kind
Speaker 6: of thing.
Speaker 2: Well, anybody had no cameras, No it was he had
Speaker 2: a no keya flip phone.
Speaker 4: People were like it was at the star. Nobody cared
Speaker 4: about that at the time.
Speaker 2: Damn.
Speaker 3: So I already hear that, dude, that's worse than almost dying.
Speaker 3: I mean you can't sue somebody.
Speaker 4: Yeah, ye, somebody.
Speaker 3: That is worse than just killing out killing NOWT write
Speaker 3: the letter, write the damn note. Uh, and then what's
Speaker 3: another time that you almost died?
Speaker 1: Another time I was in middle school?
Speaker 3: Yikes? Yikes?
Speaker 1: I used to I used to chew pens all the time,
Speaker 1: used to.
Speaker 3: Chew pins, pin caps.
Speaker 6: But like entire pin, not like an entire fucking pin,
Speaker 6: like I would have like the back of the pen,
Speaker 6: like the closes part, just like chi yeah, in my mouth.
Speaker 1: And I was walking up the steps.
Speaker 4: O stories already terrific? God, what you literally our final destination?
Speaker 2: You better not not in the studio. We have episodes
Speaker 2: to recording here. So so you're going up the stairs're
Speaker 2: chewing on.
Speaker 4: His pan like a loser. But were you a cool
Speaker 4: middle school? You seem like you might have been a
Speaker 4: little bit.
Speaker 1: Cool, a little bit. I don't know, I was cool
Speaker 1: with everybody. Laid back. I've been laid back my tilight.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Crazy.
Speaker 4: You always seem so high to me, and you don't
Speaker 4: smoke weed.
Speaker 2: People stole your lunch all the time I see it.
Speaker 4: Not hell no, No, Chris was bringing two lunches. He
Speaker 4: was like, nah, you could have that one. That's cool.
Speaker 1: I was, I was trading lunches for honey buns.
Speaker 3: For honey buns, my mom made this for you, you know.
Speaker 3: He's like, yes, you know how you like? Yeah, you
Speaker 3: placenta cooked. Oh my god, sandwiches are uh you know Artisnal.
Speaker 1: Traded two Lunchables pizzas for half a percent.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but Lunchable pizzas was yu so nasty. Like looking
Speaker 3: at them now, the dough was so raw. It was
Speaker 3: just like, why would you give this to a child?
Speaker 4: It was like a soft cracker.
Speaker 3: It was like you definitely need to heat this up.
Speaker 3: This needs to be baked.
Speaker 1: But the marketing was too good.
Speaker 4: Lunchibles like you wanted them. Remember the original lunchibles.
Speaker 3: I feel like it was a cracker, ham and cheese
Speaker 3: and like a caprisa, and then it was the pizza
Speaker 3: and now it's na chokes.
Speaker 2: And I used to be so mad at people who
Speaker 2: were coming with lunch and it was like, damn man,
Speaker 2: they living. But it's like, first of all, that's like
Speaker 2: not even proper food, lunch meat, like the ham.
Speaker 3: Was extra thick and it was like rare.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was not real ham.
Speaker 3: Actually yeah, but the marketing Chris is right. The marketing
Speaker 3: was yeah, because I wanted one in my mom.
Speaker 2: No, it wasn't the marketing. It was that damn caprice son.
Speaker 1: I was like, damn, you get a caprice you can
Speaker 1: buy so you gotta eat this wet ass piece of
Speaker 1: meat wet pizza.
Speaker 4: But then wasn't there also like a dessert, like a
Speaker 4: like a butterfinger, So.
Speaker 2: They threw a little tree or brownie or whatnot. It's like, damn,
Speaker 2: you come from a good home, but really you don't.
Speaker 4: Literally, I've never had a lunchable parents.
Speaker 3: Who Yeah.
Speaker 2: My auntie was like no, well, like why I home
Speaker 2: you getting home cooked food? Like why would I give
Speaker 2: you a lunchible?
Speaker 3: But I got free lunch. I got like I was
Speaker 3: in the free lunch program. So I had to eat
Speaker 3: whatever the school was giving me that like nasty pizza.
Speaker 2: She would make me sandwiches. She would like give me
Speaker 2: food from the night before, like just you brown baged. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they gave me a lunch box like maybe fifth grade,
Speaker 2: sixth grade instead of the bags.
Speaker 3: It was great.
Speaker 4: Oh the hard lunch box with the thermost. I had
Speaker 4: a good f.
Speaker 2: I had a good childhood, for sure. I don't know
Speaker 2: why I burn my house down.
Speaker 3: I don't know. Nasty shut up anyway.
Speaker 4: So you're in middle school, take us back.
Speaker 3: You're working up the stairs. You probably got on like
Speaker 3: air walks or Jenko's or something terrible.
Speaker 1: I was in private middle school, had uniforms.
Speaker 2: Private middle school in Detroit, so that's just like regular
Speaker 2: middle school.
Speaker 3: A private school in Detroita sounds like a public school.
Speaker 3: So you had your fresh Prince of bel Air blazer
Speaker 3: on inside out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're coming up the stairs. I have
Speaker 1: my tie on.
Speaker 6: I remember his dude, Jerome in front of me, Droma.
Speaker 6: I just remember Druma had sickle cell. I don't know why.
Speaker 3: Every Okay, so.
Speaker 1: I met two Jeromes in my life. They both got
Speaker 1: sickle cell.
Speaker 4: Well that's a black ass disease and a black ass name.
Speaker 3: Sam very fitting if you don't have sickle cell and
Speaker 3: some brand. I feel like somebody on Halloween said Sydney
Speaker 3: had sickle cell because she was in green face paint.
Speaker 4: Am I making this up?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Larry, he said, he called me see sea cell,
Speaker 2: Sea sickle or something.
Speaker 4: Sea sickle cell. You did look sick, John, They said,
Speaker 4: I had johndice AnyWho you're you and.
Speaker 3: This Jerome has sickle cell.
Speaker 4: He felt faint.
Speaker 3: We're in the staircase.
Speaker 4: He passed out on the sacase.
Speaker 6: He was telling some story to somebody and he got
Speaker 6: really animated. I don't know what the fuck he was saying.
Speaker 6: He like swung his arm back and I'm right behind him.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, and.
Speaker 1: He hit the pen and the pen went through my mouth,
Speaker 1: like my mouth, the back of.
Speaker 4: Your throat, right through your mouth, like in through your
Speaker 4: face like like.
Speaker 1: Didn't it missed the direction of my throat and went
Speaker 1: through here.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, jaw dude. So does Jeromes apologize it?
Speaker 4: As he finished his.
Speaker 6: Story that Jerome's worry about because he got the like
Speaker 6: the other side of the pen. So he's like, damn, Chris,
Speaker 6: you stabbed me. I'm like, stabbed you like I have
Speaker 6: a pintuck.
Speaker 3: So you it was like that Chinese thing where you
Speaker 3: put your finger in the little paper bag and both
Speaker 3: of your fingers get stuck.
Speaker 4: But it was y'all were connected by a pan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was fine.
Speaker 6: He got fucking scratched compared to me, but he got
Speaker 6: so what happened the killed? Yeah, like immediately, So it's
Speaker 6: stuck in there, and my first you can't pull it out.
Speaker 6: I started to pull it out and then I started
Speaker 6: then the blood started to come out.
Speaker 3: Oh this is gross.
Speaker 4: No, go ahead, get into it. Maybe headphoned out.
Speaker 3: I'm weak.
Speaker 4: Let me keep it the magazine.
Speaker 1: I mean, so I basically had to wait for. So
Speaker 1: I'm basically waiting there for like.
Speaker 2: You know, it's Detroit, so it didn't come to two
Speaker 2: years later, pulled up in a SOB.
Speaker 6: I'm sitting in the fucking like an off is like
Speaker 6: an eer because I'm just sitting there and it's like, well,
Speaker 6: you can't take the pin out of your mouth.
Speaker 1: It's just stuck.
Speaker 3: But isn't blood coming into your mouth? Or are you
Speaker 3: like leaning forward? So can you draw this out?
Speaker 2: Because I don't even know how this works? Like what
Speaker 2: where exactly was the pen?
Speaker 4: It went into your mouth and came out?
Speaker 6: It didn't come out and come out. No, No, it's
Speaker 6: like like like right above like where you're like wisdom
Speaker 6: teeth would be.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, it was like in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Meanwhile, Jerome's like you scratch me. Just this is my
Speaker 4: good footboo jack to throw up, dude. So the ambulance
Speaker 4: comes in there like, oh it's this guy again.
Speaker 6: This guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they definitely knew you by first in Social Security
Speaker 2: and he.
Speaker 1: Did yet like no, I'm still alive.
Speaker 7: It was.
Speaker 6: I mean, they like they did it like pretty much
Speaker 6: right there, like took it out and like stuffed it
Speaker 6: or whatever. I got to the hospital and then I
Speaker 6: had to have like a metal plate.
Speaker 2: Took it out right there hot the ghetto, Like you
Speaker 2: can't just wait till you get the ghetto, shout out,
Speaker 2: like as.
Speaker 1: Soon as I got there, and they like they just
Speaker 1: put like a metal plate.
Speaker 4: So now you have a metal plate in your mouth.
Speaker 1: It's gone now. I had to wait for it to heal.
Speaker 1: And then the plate came out. This whole mouth is
Speaker 1: like I feel like I've had too much shit, Like
Speaker 1: like half my tooth is fake?
Speaker 3: Are you guy some dental?
Speaker 1: H Yeah? What you got this front one?
Speaker 4: Let me see what happened to the front truth.
Speaker 1: Me and my brother was racing for shotgun and he
Speaker 1: was slow, but he's mean, so he pushed me into
Speaker 1: the fucking like just the window.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yo, he was slow, but he was mean, they
Speaker 2: didn't get the sides too slow, but they just got
Speaker 2: that one tooth.
Speaker 3: They didn't get the sides, like, yo, get the whole
Speaker 3: thing done, Yo, Sydney, Sidney, you had a little bit
Speaker 3: of dental work and you don't know how to He's like.
Speaker 4: Package, you get the premium.
Speaker 2: I got the platinum package, the diamond package. Honestly, damn damn, Chris,
Speaker 2: You've been through it. What have you learned from all
Speaker 2: of this? Do you live life to its fullest? Do
Speaker 2: you have sex with no condom?
Speaker 3: Like you?
Speaker 1: I like guy looking out for me? Are you sure,
Speaker 1: like I'm sure?
Speaker 4: Have you learned this? Are you wearing a seatbelt in
Speaker 4: the car now?
Speaker 1: Sometimes? Yeah? My god, if I'm in the back seat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the back I feel like you get on the
Speaker 3: bus and put on the I can see bout like
Speaker 3: you're scared.
Speaker 1: I'm not scared.
Speaker 6: Like even like after that happened, like when I feel
Speaker 6: like I had more weird stuff happened, even like after
Speaker 6: I started hanging out with more white people.
Speaker 4: Oh well, naturally that's what happened.
Speaker 6: I remember one time, because when I started, like I
Speaker 6: remember when I moved to the suburbs, like that year
Speaker 6: one didn't didn't talk to nobody, didn't want to talk
Speaker 6: to nobody, none of that.
Speaker 3: Like your hair was weird and they were like, your
Speaker 3: hair was weird.
Speaker 6: And I looked like I came in and I went
Speaker 6: to private school. And I was like, so in Detroit
Speaker 6: you go to private school, you were above like Detroit
Speaker 6: public schools.
Speaker 1: But in the suburbs. Yeah, in the suburbs, just like
Speaker 1: you're regular. But they put me in.
Speaker 6: They were like, oh, you should be ready for all
Speaker 6: these like advanced classes. They put me on these classes
Speaker 6: with these like grown ass kids and shiit uh.
Speaker 1: And I was like, so it was like night school.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a geneah, but.
Speaker 6: I was like I didn't talk to nobody at all.
Speaker 6: I remember one time, like we had like a substitute
Speaker 6: that you're coming like math class, and I just like
Speaker 6: asked the question.
Speaker 1: I was like can you go back and repeat that?
Speaker 6: And then like she was like uh yeah, whatever, and
Speaker 6: then like just scoffed, and like next day a real
Speaker 6: teacher came back and he was like, Okay, these following
Speaker 6: people have attention. It's like the people who like usually
Speaker 6: fuck up those kids. And it was like they called
Speaker 6: my name and I was so quiet. Everybody else stood
Speaker 6: up for me. He was like, how the fuck does
Speaker 6: Chris have attention? He don't even fucking talk in class?
Speaker 1: Like that was me.
Speaker 3: She gave you attention for asking to explain something because
Speaker 3: she didn't know it. Pretty much substitute teacher, this is trash.
Speaker 6: So I didn't even I didn't even start hanging out
Speaker 6: with people in suburbs. So I was like sixteen seventeen, so.
Speaker 3: You didn't have no friends for years, not like a year. Okay,
Speaker 3: the next year, okay, I'm like years.
Speaker 6: But then so like I'm doing this. So now I'm like,
Speaker 6: I'm more white friends. I'm doing this extra shit. So
Speaker 6: like a lot of people in Michigan skiing and whatnot, yeah,
Speaker 6: all that stuff I probably like shouldn't have been doing.
Speaker 1: Like the first time I rode an ATV, they're like,
Speaker 1: you got it.
Speaker 6: I was like, yeah, I got it, And I went
Speaker 6: up like a steep hill and I didn't know like
Speaker 6: you were supposed to like down shift and all that,
Speaker 6: and you just rolled on it, just rolled back. I'm like,
Speaker 6: I have this ATV and me and his ATV just
Speaker 6: flipping just backwards down like the Hannah bar is like
Speaker 6: here like on my head, right around it.
Speaker 4: Because you thought you was DMX. You were like stuff, yeah,
Speaker 4: drive shut them down.
Speaker 1: It was nothing like Cradles of the Grave.
Speaker 2: Straight up, body, you really like that movie.
Speaker 3: You know you really like that movie. You're here for
Speaker 3: a DMX film, Chris.
Speaker 2: I'm just blown away that this much ship has happened
Speaker 2: to you, and like you're you're just so calm, like
Speaker 2: you don't seem like you're off right all.
Speaker 3: These near death stories. I feel like Sydney has the
Speaker 3: energy for somebody who's.
Speaker 4: Eight times. You're just like energy, Yeah, that's that placenta energy.
Speaker 3: No, but I have that like, oh, you might have
Speaker 3: a hole in your lunge type energy.
Speaker 4: Kind of because I've seeing you try to run and
Speaker 4: I'm like, he's not gonna make it.
Speaker 3: No, that's the diabetes cell. Try to run. Oh my
Speaker 3: legs are itching.
Speaker 4: I think my skin is dry.
Speaker 3: No, so literally your body telling you you never run circulation.
Speaker 1: Trying to go around is.
Speaker 3: Like, oh get we moment and Sidny's like, oh my
Speaker 3: legs are itching. She literally telling you anything, Sidney, you
Speaker 3: went on a run with me and she was like ah.
Speaker 4: I was like, Sydney, we haven't even done a full
Speaker 4: lap and she's like, yeah.
Speaker 1: But my legs are I don't work out together.
Speaker 3: No, I used to work out with Sydney because then
Speaker 3: I would never work out it. Don't do that. I
Speaker 3: can't work out with somebody who's not going to like
Speaker 3: start and stop. I just want to get it in
Speaker 3: and get out. I want to be in the gym
Speaker 3: for an hour and then be done. If I go
Speaker 3: to the gym with anybody else, not just you, I
Speaker 3: just feel like it's gonna take longer because they're gonna
Speaker 3: be complaining and they're gonna want to stop and and
Speaker 3: I can't.
Speaker 2: But is your gym if you go, you're just in
Speaker 2: and just I'm in the mirror. I'm snappedatting other people
Speaker 2: struggling at the gym. She's timing, she's zooming into people's shoes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like I'm doing everything, just working out.
Speaker 3: If there's a show on.
Speaker 2: If there's a show, I'll be on the elliptical for
Speaker 2: thirty five minutes.
Speaker 3: I can't do that. I can't go in.
Speaker 1: I'm in and out, in and out.
Speaker 3: Oh we can tell marms in and out.
Speaker 2: So like, Chris, you've been through all this, all this stuff,
Speaker 2: so Does that make you like more of a daredevil
Speaker 2: now or I.
Speaker 1: Don't go looking for it? Just fine.
Speaker 3: He was just trying to get off the ramp. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you're just trying to get to his exit t bone.
Speaker 3: He's just trying to incubate and like grow some lungs
Speaker 3: pulled out the womb too fast. Now he's a short
Speaker 3: six six feet tall.
Speaker 2: A short six foot I mean, I've never gone through
Speaker 2: any stuff and so so that's why I feel like
Speaker 2: I'm more adventurous and dangerous because I haven't had enough
Speaker 2: near death.
Speaker 1: What's adventurous for you? Though?
Speaker 4: It's all you're going hiking?
Speaker 3: Sis, Oh, I've been hiking in Puerto Rico. You're not
Speaker 3: looking for.
Speaker 4: Like you're like, let's just go hiking this weekend. That's
Speaker 4: not who you are.
Speaker 2: I don't like that, but I have done copious amounts
Speaker 2: of kenemie.
Speaker 1: I hate you so much.
Speaker 4: My mouth My mouth is so dry where it's like, wait,
Speaker 4: why are you doing this?
Speaker 3: Like do you want to live? It's like no, I'm
Speaker 3: just having I'm having fun. What's the kenemine? I feel
Speaker 3: like because the way that you talk about it, it
Speaker 3: seems like should I trop emy?
Speaker 2: You feel silly like everything everything is like discombobulated and
Speaker 2: you your your vision is weird and.
Speaker 4: I could just take an edible for that.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's kind of like it's kind of like an edible,
Speaker 2: but for ten times more than that. I like shrooms
Speaker 2: could be shrooms too, but if you have a good trip,
Speaker 2: I've had. I've had bad trips in mushrooms, So that's
Speaker 2: why I don't do them. It's not for me. Like
Speaker 2: if you if you haven't unpacked a lot of things,
Speaker 2: if you haven't gone to therapy, you do mushrooms, shit
Speaker 2: start coming out and you like want to hide in
Speaker 2: a cloud.
Speaker 4: So you say, mushrooms not for black people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love shrooms.
Speaker 4: Yeah, how often do you do them?
Speaker 1: Like every other year?
Speaker 3: I'll do shrimps every other year. It's not like you
Speaker 3: don't really do them that much, or you'll do them
Speaker 3: for a whole year and then took a year off.
Speaker 1: I need a break from.
Speaker 4: That's okay, So what's a good shroom?
Speaker 6: I feel like it's like total elation. It's like I
Speaker 6: feel silly as hell, like everything's funny to me.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's academy.
Speaker 1: I can't stop laughing. I'll just look at people, and
Speaker 1: I'm just like dog, you're purple and it's the funny
Speaker 1: ship I've ever seen.
Speaker 3: I don't know what you been in your shrooms room,
Speaker 3: because I feel like I should end the year off
Speaker 3: with some shrooms.
Speaker 4: Is this a shroom year or you off shrooms?
Speaker 1: This year is a shroom year. I still got to
Speaker 1: do them.
Speaker 3: Okay, oh great, let's get it.
Speaker 4: Let's get a team together. We need a chaperone.
Speaker 1: You can do yourcad me.
Speaker 3: No, I can't.
Speaker 2: City's sober now, I'm sober, thank you, So I can't,
Speaker 2: but I will watch.
Speaker 3: I'll see.
Speaker 4: That's a good Actually, need you watching? You gotta put
Speaker 4: your phone. You got to turn your phone off.
Speaker 3: You had to turn it in at the door because
Speaker 3: you're not gonna be shooting videos of meal shrooms to
Speaker 3: post on the ground.
Speaker 1: Why you posted videos?
Speaker 3: Posted videos? You're looking crazy.
Speaker 4: You never regular never learned the beautiful photos.
Speaker 1: That's a lot.
Speaker 3: City shoots all these videos and then they'll pop out
Speaker 3: on my birthday and I'd be like, the.
Speaker 4: Fuck, what did I do?
Speaker 1: I just saw you do the same thing in Sydney.
Speaker 4: But she came out in public like that. She came
Speaker 4: out looking like I.
Speaker 1: Saw that, and I was like, you like you turn
Speaker 1: it into she hooked but didn't finish.
Speaker 3: Oh you got fucking jokes?
Speaker 4: How dare you?
Speaker 3: You won't stop?
Speaker 2: Yo?
Speaker 3: Is there another tag for that movie?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: For Nemo having a tiny fin? I mean he went
Speaker 3: into the filter at the dentist's office because he had
Speaker 3: the smallest fin or whatever.
Speaker 1: Anyway, I was like, so not the point of the
Speaker 1: movie either, No, but.
Speaker 3: He did have a tiny fin, like you have a
Speaker 3: tiny look goddamn it?
Speaker 4: And by tiny is it like is one regular size?
Speaker 4: Are they both little?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: One is regular and one's like half the other. I
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 3: Damn.
Speaker 4: What's your kidneys and stuff?
Speaker 3: Look like? You? They good?
Speaker 1: They good?
Speaker 3: It's good.
Speaker 2: I have a question when you're like dating, do you
Speaker 2: tell people like if these like conversation starters, like do
Speaker 2: you let them know about the turmoila that you went through.
Speaker 4: On the first day? He was so I almost died
Speaker 4: twelve times?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, the first time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the scariest time. Let's go back to my birth.
Speaker 3: You bring out your PowerPoint reason next slide, because like,
Speaker 3: if you check your email, I just I just air
Speaker 3: dropped Google on your Google docs.
Speaker 6: That really I feel like the car story comes up everywhere,
Speaker 6: like at some point usually it's like that was like
Speaker 6: a big like turning point in my life after that,
Speaker 6: Like I started working out after that.
Speaker 2: I had like after they had to rip open your
Speaker 2: chest and ship, You're like, yo, my body better be
Speaker 2: right if they ever do that again.
Speaker 3: I gotta have abs and.
Speaker 1: Pecksans I was in there looking weak and fragile, looking like.
Speaker 3: A fabricate egg. Oh my god, because.
Speaker 6: Like even like comedy, like I was already like starting
Speaker 6: doing comedy in Michigan at the time, and I had
Speaker 6: to show a Michigan State like a week after that,
Speaker 6: and I was like a week or two after that,
Speaker 6: and they're like, you know you want to do it.
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, i'm'a still try to do it.
Speaker 1: And I go and it's terrible because.
Speaker 6: I can't like talk, like I said, like any moment
Speaker 6: of like talking to out or even like a chuckle
Speaker 6: or a laugh is just like pain. So I'm telling
Speaker 6: the joke and I'm just like and then it's like
Speaker 6: I have to kill over because you're red, Yeah, because
Speaker 6: I'm so much pain.
Speaker 2: And I was just you were still doing comedy with
Speaker 2: brute Brude I do not love comedy.
Speaker 4: That might hate comedy.
Speaker 3: You can stay in the house for less. You heard me,
Speaker 3: self care, self care. I'll stay home if the train.
Speaker 3: If I missed too many trains, I'd be like, oh,
Speaker 3: I missed two trains in a row. I guess I'm
Speaker 3: not coming back. I think that's God just telling me
Speaker 3: to stay home.
Speaker 1: But like all that, like all that, I got started
Speaker 1: to like hate. I didn't even like comedy. It was weird.
Speaker 1: I just like didn't want to do it.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I totally understand, sir. I learned
Speaker 2: my lungs are perfectly fine.
Speaker 3: I'm done with this. I hate it.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to park Slow.
Speaker 4: I'm not going to Yeah, I gotta go into the
Speaker 4: city to do comedy tonight.
Speaker 3: Take two trains.
Speaker 4: I'm staying in Brooklyn this evening. Mm hmm, no, thanks.
Speaker 3: Well did we learn anything today? We learned that Chris, uh,
Speaker 3: you will live to be one hundred and twelve. You
Speaker 3: really are.
Speaker 1: And I feel like my skin will be great. I
Speaker 1: saw my grandma a couple of me good.
Speaker 2: She got skin, And I really just feel like, take
Speaker 2: the risk, man, just don't wear a condom. I feel
Speaker 2: oh my god, I got it. I feel like you
Speaker 2: got it, dude.
Speaker 3: Like you got what you know what?
Speaker 2: No, because if you got all these lives in your sperm,
Speaker 2: geez nine lives.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the Plan B your sperm is this this sperm
Speaker 3: that Plan B can Yes, that's what it is. Point,
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that should be your show.
Speaker 2: You should write a pilot based off your sperm that
Speaker 2: like never dies.
Speaker 1: What good that It would have to be animated, animated.
Speaker 3: It would have to be first.
Speaker 2: Don't say I ain't never gave you nothing, gives any
Speaker 2: executive producer credit. That the sperm that and then the
Speaker 2: sperm that just it leaves the uterus and starts traveling
Speaker 2: the actual body.
Speaker 3: What is it?
Speaker 4: The magic school?
Speaker 2: Imagine the firm that it's No, it's brilliant.
Speaker 4: People will watch it. It's an adult swim, adult swim.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm telling you, Oh my god, I'm telling Chris,
Speaker 3: shout out to you and your miss frizzle sperm. Hello, Hello.
Speaker 1: Sperm definitely has dreads for sure, Chrismas.
Speaker 2: You got a couples firm with like fades and whatnot?
Speaker 3: Got waves.
Speaker 4: I'm here for it. So what's next for you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, with all these stories, you got to do
Speaker 2: something and be somebody.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you want to be somebody, you want to
Speaker 3: go somewhere.
Speaker 4: You gotta do something.
Speaker 1: What you're gonna do a right? Was that supposed to
Speaker 1: be prepared for that for that question?
Speaker 2: No, this is a deep question that you should just
Speaker 2: be knowing. Yeah, what's like, what's next? Like, what's your
Speaker 2: goal in life?
Speaker 4: Who you about to be?
Speaker 1: What's next? Let's see.
Speaker 6: I'm definitely next year twenty eighteen. I'm traveling a lot,
Speaker 6: so get.
Speaker 3: Into some money.
Speaker 1: Who you, sue?
Speaker 3: I found a loophole.
Speaker 1: I got a good nine to five.
Speaker 3: But you you skipped work to do the podcast today,
Speaker 3: so you have money?
Speaker 1: So yeah, we heard the episode.
Speaker 4: You're actually big fans of the Unofficial Experts?
Speaker 3: Are they looking for a job?
Speaker 4: We are, but we don't want one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 6: Traveling more, keeping calmed me? Going my show Auntie's House is.
Speaker 6: We're going to try to make that bigger and better show.
Speaker 3: It's a fabulous it's great. Next what is it like
Speaker 3: every third Saturday.
Speaker 6: Or the next one's gonna be different and like a
Speaker 6: Christmas one December fifteenth?
Speaker 2: Okay, cool? This guy come out before them. I don't
Speaker 2: want to help you with your plugs and ya ya.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 4: This will come out you know next week.
Speaker 1: Cool. Cool. We should have tickets on sale then and then,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe I'll do another podcast.
Speaker 4: I don't know, not the book of he Kanye West
Speaker 4: is dead to us, Kanye.
Speaker 3: West is dead.
Speaker 1: No, me and Robill do something.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: We love Rob Hayes. He's in l A doing big things.
Speaker 3: We love him. He was our Atlanta expert. This is great, Chris.
Speaker 4: Thank you for coming to this podcast and not dying
Speaker 4: on your way here.
Speaker 2: Yo. I feel like when he gets out of here,
Speaker 2: he's just like this, a piano and a piano.
Speaker 3: And he's gonna have an advil and.
Speaker 1: Suicide.
Speaker 2: Don't even run a suicide. I said an anvil. Oh
Speaker 2: my god, wow advil.
Speaker 1: I had lacerations from the advil.
Speaker 3: I gotta go, I gotta pee. We need to leave, Chris,
Speaker 3: thank you so much. People gonna find you Auntie's house.
Speaker 3: The next one is December fifteenth. It's Christmas theme were
Speaker 3: an ugly ass sweater? Yes, or like a who ass
Speaker 3: missus Claus costumes. Also make sure you subscribe and review
Speaker 3: the podcast.
Speaker 2: Y'all be everywhere We're on Apples, Spotifyify, Wherever Sam Wherever
Speaker 2: Samsung's get it.
Speaker 3: Uh, you know your best lives.
Speaker 1: Bye Bye, Forever.
Speaker 5: This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by
Speaker 5: Brett Bauham, Joe Scilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts,
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