1 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. 2 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 2: A lot of the stuff I never told you protection 3 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 2: of iHeart radio. And today we have another listener mail 4 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,920 Speaker 2: for you. It's been a while since we've done these, 5 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 2: so this one's a bit longer. If we don't read 6 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:31,040 Speaker 2: your listener mail, please don't read into that. It's not 7 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:34,600 Speaker 2: like some kind of personal slight or anything like that. 8 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:41,520 Speaker 2: It's just the way sometimes what works out. And also 9 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:45,599 Speaker 2: just you know, some of the shorter ones we really appreciate. 10 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 2: Please don't stop sending those. But you know I don't 11 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:49,160 Speaker 2: want to just go through. 12 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 3: Hey, I like this episode. 13 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 2: I want to read those, but if they're not in 14 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 2: a listener mail, please don't be offended because we do 15 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 2: love those. They actually are like the joy some of 16 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 2: your great joys. Perhaps we should do a listener man 17 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:07,520 Speaker 2: when we just read those. But in the meantime, we 18 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:12,360 Speaker 2: do have quite quite a listener male extravaganza for you 19 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:17,039 Speaker 2: and Samantha. I figure you can kick this one off. 20 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 2: It's a letter about sex and the city. 21 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 4: So we have Hakara, which I hope I said your 22 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 4: name right. Please let me know. If I didn't, we 23 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 4: will correct it. And they wrote I want to write 24 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,559 Speaker 4: to you that I enjoy your recap episodes of Sex 25 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,280 Speaker 4: and the City so much. I wish they were every week. 26 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 4: It's coming back, I swear that it is. I started 27 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 4: watching Sex and the City in high school over ten 28 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 4: years ago. Now I love every young listener. They're not young, 29 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 4: but in my head, yeah, that statement made me feel 30 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 4: old anyway. It was such a major experience because it 31 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 4: was the first time that I watched the show where 32 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 4: women behaved like women. Back then, I was only watching 33 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 4: teen shows like Lee or detective shows like Castle. As 34 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 4: a born and bred New Yorker, I also appreciated that 35 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,240 Speaker 4: I could really see the city and all the glamorous 36 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 4: parts of it. Even though it's not a very realistic 37 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 4: portrayal of what life in NYC is like, I still 38 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 4: loved it. I always thought I was a Charlotte, but 39 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,120 Speaker 4: now I think I am beginning to be more like Carrie. 40 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:22,639 Speaker 4: I'm not too sorry I'd like Charlotte anymore, but maybe 41 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 4: more guarded like Carrie. The episodes that you've recently put 42 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 4: out are Carrie's post breakup with Big, and I've been 43 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,959 Speaker 4: finding them extremely relatable. I pick the wrong men, that's 44 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 4: the quote. That's how I'm feeling right now too. Oh 45 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 4: after a confusing a situationship with a guy. Even though 46 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,799 Speaker 4: the show came out over twenty years ago, it warns 47 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,520 Speaker 4: my heart that I still find it relatable. Agreed, agrees, 48 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 4: And I like, I like that you bring in situationship 49 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:52,079 Speaker 4: because that term didn't exist, yes, at that point in time. 50 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 4: And I'm like, I love the level of changes that 51 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 4: has happened with this, like all of these shows, but yeah, 52 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,160 Speaker 4: it is so relatable. 53 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,240 Speaker 2: It is, and I also appreciate I'm starting to think 54 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 2: that when you're younger and you watch the show, you 55 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:08,160 Speaker 2: think you're a Charlotte and then you or a lot 56 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 2: of people do, because I did too, and then you 57 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,080 Speaker 2: kind of watch it or kind of like grow and 58 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 2: then you're like, no, that's not me. 59 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 3: I'm just intrigued by kind of the evolution of it, right. 60 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 2: I think that's interesting. We do. And thank you how 61 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 2: many people wrote in about after I did my episode 62 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,240 Speaker 2: about how when fandom hurts you about Harry Potter, because 63 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 2: that was really emotional episode for me, and a lot of. 64 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 3: You wrote in about it. 65 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 2: Helena wrote, like Annie, I was a really strong potterhead 66 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 2: and also got a lot of flack for it because 67 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 2: I'm closer to Samantha's age, so I also dealt with 68 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:43,120 Speaker 2: the whole why are you reading a kid's book in college? 69 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 2: And the movement away from the Potter fandom has been hard. 70 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 2: It was a gradual shift for me starting around twenty 71 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 2: fifteen to twenty sixteen. I think I started relistening to 72 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 2: the audio books and just kept catching things that I 73 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 2: could finally recognize as problematic. The happy slave trope, the 74 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 2: house elves, the stereotyping of different care and their cultures, 75 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:04,440 Speaker 2: particularly pan Asian and even some European as well, the 76 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 2: casual rape culture, etc. It was hard to really catch 77 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 2: and pay attention to these things. After hearing JK. Rolling 78 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 2: defend inclusive ideas and interpretations to an extent really made 79 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,640 Speaker 2: me rethink a lot of what she said Slash defended. 80 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 2: After more of the anti trans stuff came to light, 81 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,279 Speaker 2: I started seeing Slash thinking about things in the book differently. 82 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,920 Speaker 2: Is the constant use of Tom ridle versus Lord Voldemort 83 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 2: a sort of transrature? The insistence on dead naming are 84 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 2: not recognizing a chosen name? And again it was hard 85 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,279 Speaker 2: to rEFInd the joy that I had with the series. 86 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 2: I tried at first to argue, hey, it's fanfic or 87 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,280 Speaker 2: fan inspired, it doesn't count, or give her money. I 88 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:42,839 Speaker 2: have a T shirt that I love that says the 89 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 2: wand chooses the Wizard over a set of knitting needles 90 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,360 Speaker 2: I knit as well, and I can't look at it 91 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:50,560 Speaker 2: anymore without cringing. It's something I only throw on when 92 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 2: I'm doing laundry and not leaving the house now, and 93 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,720 Speaker 2: I have a hard time reading the fanfic that I 94 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 2: used to love. I really appreciated how vulnerable you were being, Annie, 95 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,479 Speaker 2: and I really appreciated how Samantha was encourage uraging you 96 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 2: to just allow yourself to fill and discuss. It was 97 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:07,160 Speaker 2: very cathartic. Thank you, and I did appreciate it. Samantha, 98 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 2: you were very You were very supportive, and I totally agree. 99 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 3: I actually took down I. 100 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 2: Told myself I was gonna wait until they fell because 101 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 2: I'm lazy. But I took down my Harry Potter posters 102 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 2: the other day. They're just bumming me out too much. 103 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you gotta do it well. 104 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 2: People kept seeing them in our meetings because we would 105 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 2: have like video meetings and you could see them in 106 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 2: the background. People to ask me about it, and I 107 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 2: was like, I'm tired of having to explain. 108 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 3: This so awesome. 109 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:37,480 Speaker 2: Cale wrote, Hey, Annie and Samantha, I just wanted to 110 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 2: thank you for talking about the painting that goes with 111 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,600 Speaker 2: saying goodbye to the things that once made you feel safe. 112 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 2: I too was a huge Harry Potter fan and still am. 113 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:46,920 Speaker 2: I'm trans and I just try to forget JK exist. 114 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 2: Your podcast makes me feel safe and has so far 115 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 2: at least a couple of years now because of the 116 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 2: culture you've created. I will never have to give y'all 117 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 2: up because some transphobic feminist ideology, and for that I 118 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 2: can't say thanks enough. Please don't think of this as 119 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,680 Speaker 2: added pressure. Even just listening to you shoot this and 120 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:06,720 Speaker 2: make each other laugh is enough for me. Ah yay, 121 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:08,080 Speaker 2: that makes. 122 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 3: Us so happy. That's a. 123 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 2: That's all we want, and we really appreciate it so much. 124 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:21,120 Speaker 3: And then Lou Lou. 125 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:25,160 Speaker 2: Rips, I really appreciated how you shared your vulnerability about 126 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 2: the potentially toxic fandom stuff and how it's affected you. 127 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 2: Referencing the episode that came out last week or maybe 128 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 2: the week before, I forget. I just wanted to say 129 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,039 Speaker 2: I don't think it's weird or difficult to understand. What 130 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,359 Speaker 2: it is difficult to understand is how wealthy folks with 131 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 2: incredibly large platforms of influence, who are where they are 132 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,599 Speaker 2: because they've benefited from a capitalist society that is driven 133 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:47,520 Speaker 2: by largely non wealthy people spending what little money they have, 134 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,239 Speaker 2: refuse to see the responsibility they have towards those folks. 135 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 2: Omg run on sen it's not yellow, el, I hear you, 136 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 2: And I don't mean this super toxic stuff that happens 137 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,840 Speaker 2: on social media that is driven by fan bases, like 138 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,479 Speaker 2: as a rich celebrity, you owe me sharing your life 139 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,039 Speaker 2: with us as your fans online or whatever. I mean 140 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 2: seeing the massive sphere of influence they have and how 141 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 2: they can wield that in a totally irresponsible way. Does 142 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,400 Speaker 2: that mean every celebrity needs to share my ultra liberal 143 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 2: belief system. No, but for heaven's sakes, it does mean 144 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,680 Speaker 2: that celebrities need to reflect on their actions, just like 145 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:24,920 Speaker 2: we all do. If I screw up in my life 146 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,080 Speaker 2: and hurt my friend's feelings and she comes back and 147 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 2: tells me I am horrified, and I listen and I respond, 148 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 2: But do we maybe sometimes fundamentally disagree. Maybe sometimes but 149 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 2: I can still acknowledge how my actions hurt her and 150 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 2: work towards compromise. I don't think it's too much to 151 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,920 Speaker 2: ask celebrities to do that reflection too. I think that's 152 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 2: a good point. I haven't ever thought about it like that. Yeah, 153 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 2: if I had said something that hurt you, I would 154 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 2: feel bad. 155 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 4: And it least right, like if I'd known that, and 156 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,080 Speaker 4: I would want to correct that. 157 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 3: That's or at least at least listen to you right. 158 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 3: So it feels like she just shuts down. 159 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 2: She won't even listen to it right. 160 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 1: And then he plays victim, which is worse. 161 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 4: This is gaslighting when victim when someone asks you to 162 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 4: do something and think about it and they're like, no, 163 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 4: how dare you? 164 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 2: That was my accent for Jacobs excellent as always. 165 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 4: We got a couple of messages about my episode about identity, 166 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,440 Speaker 4: and Jade wrote, I was behind on my episodes and 167 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 4: finally listened to the one from last month around adoption 168 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,520 Speaker 4: and identity and want to thank you for sharing more 169 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 4: about your adoption story and recent updates. I'm a late 170 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:51,200 Speaker 4: thirties Korean adoptee who also didn't start exploring Korean culture 171 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 4: or my history until I was an adult, and many 172 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 4: things you said in the episode resonated with me or 173 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 4: just made me feel seen as the kids say. 174 00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 2: Agreed. 175 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,400 Speaker 4: I also have gotten in contact with the agency in 176 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 4: Korea that handled my adoption and have been sitting on 177 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:07,040 Speaker 4: submity requirements for birth search. Overall, I feel like there's 178 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,439 Speaker 4: still a very little open conversation about this topic and 179 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,920 Speaker 4: the media, and it's just really reassuring to hear someone 180 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 4: going through the same questions in mental hurdles. Thank you 181 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 4: again for sharing your story. Yes, Jay, thank you for writing, 182 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 4: because yeah, I also felt seen as the kids say 183 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:24,680 Speaker 4: and then Helena or Helena, I really hope I'm saying 184 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 4: this right. Please correct me once you hear this, because 185 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:28,880 Speaker 4: I want to make sure I get it right and 186 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,840 Speaker 4: no disrespect at all. But they did send this note. 187 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:35,240 Speaker 4: I do have issues with my name, which is also 188 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 4: why I want to correctly say your name. I hate it, 189 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 4: and I've hated it for a longer than I can remember. 190 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 4: Every time someone tells me but it's so pretty, I 191 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 4: want to laugh in their face. It's a relatively short name, 192 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,320 Speaker 4: but no one is ever able to pronounce it correctly. 193 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:53,960 Speaker 4: I apologize and many seem to still pronounce it incorrectly, 194 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 4: even after I correct them. I'm supposed to be named 195 00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:59,240 Speaker 4: after some relative that's been long gone, but it turns 196 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 4: out no one knew how she pronounced it either. My 197 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,720 Speaker 4: parents picked one option, and it's evidently the wrong one. 198 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 4: I've also just struggled with it as I've grown and 199 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 4: changed and learned more about my own identity, my sense 200 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 4: of gender, and so much more. I feel so stuck 201 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 4: with it. It's a name I hate, but I can't 202 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 4: seem to get away from, nor can I think of 203 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 4: anything else. I've used the nickname in the past, but 204 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,079 Speaker 4: there's also issues with that in terms of quote, adulting 205 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 4: or professionalism, what have you. So a lot of agreement 206 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,520 Speaker 4: with Samantha this time around. Different issues at the root 207 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:31,560 Speaker 4: of it, but still very relevant. But names are important. 208 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,440 Speaker 4: I always like the one transmeme of a mom holding 209 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,720 Speaker 4: their kid and saying, I gave you this name when 210 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,719 Speaker 4: you didn't have a voice, and now you've chosen a 211 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,319 Speaker 4: new one that fits you better. If names are a gift, 212 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 4: can I just find one in the right size and style. 213 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 4: I hope Samantha's journey goes smoothly. 214 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: Oh, I've never seen that meme. No, I want to 215 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: find it. That's such a good thing. 216 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,200 Speaker 4: And then in the friend of the Show, Ray, who I 217 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:55,000 Speaker 4: have quoted because I feel like she's a mentor. 218 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 1: Now, Ray, if you hear me, I'd feel. 219 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,839 Speaker 4: Like you're a mentor or was She always encouraging and 220 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,080 Speaker 4: is so loving. I'm sorry if we don't respond all 221 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,960 Speaker 4: the time, and sometimes I get away from social media. 222 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:07,199 Speaker 4: I'm like, nope, but she has some really good responses, 223 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 4: and she did. She wrote in about the name episode 224 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 4: as well, and she wrote, while smitha, I just listened 225 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 4: to names and identity and I'm so sorry to hear 226 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 4: how conflicted you are and just how bizarrely hard Georgia 227 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,080 Speaker 4: makes it to change your name. I hope that you're 228 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:24,400 Speaker 4: able to find clarity around this. And then she goes 229 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 4: on to share an anecdote of her own life and I'm 230 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,160 Speaker 4: not going to share that because I feel like it's 231 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 4: too personal. So Ray, if you want me to share it, 232 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,240 Speaker 4: I can, But I'm like, I didn't give permission from 233 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,439 Speaker 4: her quite yet. It gives her like full name, so 234 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:38,520 Speaker 4: I won't do that unless you want me to. Ray, 235 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,679 Speaker 4: But she does talk about how in her own life 236 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:44,679 Speaker 4: through getting married. She's had to struggle with this and 237 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 4: even having to explain her name because yes, she as 238 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 4: one ethnicity, is explaining a different type of name. So 239 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, she, Ray really gets it. But she 240 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 4: goes on to say at the very end all this 241 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,320 Speaker 4: to say that I don't think imagining the struggle you're 242 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 4: going through, and I definitely see it as a valid one. 243 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 4: I know in my case, I had a whole thirty 244 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:09,200 Speaker 4: five years before marriage to develop a grounded identity, which 245 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,079 Speaker 4: you didn't have before your adoption. So I'm sure I 246 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 4: still don't understand the majority of it, but I do 247 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 4: get a taste and I empathize. I hope you continue 248 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:18,719 Speaker 4: to surround yourself with awesome people like Annie and your 249 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,839 Speaker 4: partner who can help you walk through the potential name change, 250 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,839 Speaker 4: identity discovery. Hugxy you, and please keep us posted on 251 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 4: what you decide. I will have a beer waiting for 252 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:31,200 Speaker 4: that happy hour update. So Ray, thanks again, Like she's 253 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 4: just got such sweet messages. 254 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 1: Look, I must share. 255 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:41,760 Speaker 2: Lovely thank you. Uh So, now we have kind of 256 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,160 Speaker 2: a bunch of random A mixed. 257 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 1: Bag, A mixed bag. 258 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:49,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, starting with Elizabeth. Elizabeth wrote your episode about the 259 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:53,280 Speaker 2: first involving the Women's World Cup reminded me about a 260 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,080 Speaker 2: book I read recently and about the founding of the 261 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 2: Women's Rugby World Cup. It's a great story involving the 262 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,440 Speaker 2: players themselves deciding to make it happen, and then the 263 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 2: rugby world began to accept them. These women would make 264 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:07,320 Speaker 2: a good episode and probably willing to give an interviewer too, 265 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,679 Speaker 2: or the book would be a good book club recommendation. 266 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 2: The title is World in Their Hands, The Story of 267 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:18,080 Speaker 2: the First Women's Rugby World Cup. Yeah. 268 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 3: I have a lot of friends who played rugby, so. 269 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 1: I don't know anyone. 270 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:28,120 Speaker 3: Katieh Ritney, Oh yeah, Marissa. 271 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:33,320 Speaker 2: May she did not for long, but she did ahead rugby. 272 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 2: I think they mostly played it at Georgia Tech somehow, 273 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:41,760 Speaker 2: even though I didn't go to Georgia Tech. What happened now? 274 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:44,520 Speaker 2: I think maybe they played against people at Georgia Tech 275 00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:47,439 Speaker 2: and then I saw them in that way anyway, Anyway, 276 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,240 Speaker 2: Chris wrote in the official novel version of Star Trek 277 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,200 Speaker 2: the Motion picture, Kirk makes a comment early in the 278 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 2: book and his log that some people in Starfleet thought 279 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:00,959 Speaker 2: their deep friendship also meant they were lovers. His comment 280 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 2: in his log was that he couldn't get together with 281 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 2: someone only for once for seven years. What Sorry as 282 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 2: a teen, that was crazy eye opening to me, But 283 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 2: it also seemed logical to me that in the twenty 284 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 2: third century the world would have evolved beyond the nineteen nineties. Interesting, Chris, 285 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:21,960 Speaker 2: you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe 286 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:28,240 Speaker 2: that is in reference to Spock and how vulcans uh 287 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 2: pursue relationships. 288 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 4: None of this means anything to me except for Spuck 289 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 4: and that's it. 290 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 2: Wow, Star trek Oh. 291 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,280 Speaker 4: I know nothing and I'll not watch this with you. Annia, Now, no, 292 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:39,120 Speaker 4: we're not doing that. 293 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 3: We're sure I did. 294 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,400 Speaker 2: I replied to Chris, and I said, I do think 295 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 2: this is one of my favorite things about science fiction, though, 296 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:50,920 Speaker 2: is that you can't imagine the world beyond the nineteen nineties. 297 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 1: Aliens exists, so. 298 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 2: Which, speaking of Rachel wrote, oh MG, loving the XLED episode. 299 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 2: Only half I've done, but I'm praying you And with 300 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 2: Bree Sharp's David Dukefney's song about the worldwide crush on him, 301 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,720 Speaker 2: we did not end on that. I had never heard 302 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,960 Speaker 2: of that, but guest co host Lauren made sure I 303 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,120 Speaker 2: listened to it when I brought up this mail to her. 304 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 2: I never heard of it. I love this, so thank you. 305 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,720 Speaker 2: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Sam wrote, I listened to 306 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 2: the episode on sexism and survival movies. I found it 307 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:26,360 Speaker 2: validating because concepts were address which I'd brought up with 308 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:30,280 Speaker 2: other people previous, but those people didn't understand what I meant. Recently, 309 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 2: I watched Katla on Netflix Katla Katla. Hopefully I got 310 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,000 Speaker 2: it some word in the realm of right after a 311 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 2: friend had recommended it. At first, I was excited because 312 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:43,120 Speaker 2: I love shows with beautiful landscapes. Also, I spent a 313 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 2: very brief time living in remote Iceland, making me familiar 314 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 2: with the stories of Katla. By the end, though, I 315 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,720 Speaker 2: was left feeling incredibly uncomfortable by sexist tropes. Kotla is 316 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 2: sort of a survival TV show mixed with sci fi 317 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 2: thriller and maybe a touch of horror. In Katla, Katla 318 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,920 Speaker 2: has erupted, making Vic uninhabitable. Then clones start coming from 319 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 2: the ash. The show opens with the protagonist Grima. She 320 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,920 Speaker 2: wears dark hoodies, no makeup, has her waistling pair pulled 321 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 2: back in a low ponytail, and has a fiscal labor job. 322 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,320 Speaker 2: I felt immediately excited because I was like, awesome, a 323 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 2: protagonist who is just like me. Icelan is super progressive. 324 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:22,520 Speaker 2: But no, the show does not come to portray this 325 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,680 Speaker 2: as a good thing. Sure enough, Agreema clone appears that 326 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,560 Speaker 2: wears bright makeup, cute sweaters, and doesn't tie her hair up. 327 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 2: This clone, of course, starts having sex with her husband 328 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 2: and makes him happier by being more cheery. Clone Grima 329 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,520 Speaker 2: just finds paint redicorates the house while Vick falls apart, 330 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,760 Speaker 2: throwing out her dead mother's and sister's stuff, showing she 331 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:45,320 Speaker 2: is over them. The husband character praises her for this behavior. 332 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:49,680 Speaker 2: It is shown as healthy. I do think Greema had 333 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 2: an unhealthy relationship with Loss and her husband, but id K. 334 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 2: Maybe the show should have shown them trying better help 335 00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:00,320 Speaker 2: for couples and individual therapy, but not Colne Grema being 336 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,760 Speaker 2: a good housekeeper and having sex with her not great husband. Also, 337 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:06,440 Speaker 2: as someone who works on houses, I was insulted by 338 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,119 Speaker 2: the paint thing. You can't use twenty year old paint. 339 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:13,440 Speaker 2: Paint is incredibly expensive to just on a whim redecorate 340 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 2: your old house. There was no painting prep anyway, I 341 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:21,240 Speaker 2: felt frustrated by her whole character art. The show had 342 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:24,679 Speaker 2: many other issues. I took issue with anow there. For examples, 343 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,520 Speaker 2: Greema's dad had an affair and their mother commits suicide 344 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 2: over it. Greema's dead sister's clone forgives the clone of 345 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 2: the woman her dad had an affair with, but never 346 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,000 Speaker 2: speaks to her dad. It seems bizarre to me, like 347 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 2: blame the minstress. I brought this up to the friend 348 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,239 Speaker 2: that suggested it, and they just strugged it off. I 349 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,679 Speaker 2: felt hurt that a newest show from Iceland that had 350 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 2: one hundred percent on Rotten Tomatoes still had many sexist tropes. 351 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,560 Speaker 2: After that, I felt very relieved by the episode. Any 352 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,600 Speaker 2: producer this week. 353 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,679 Speaker 1: That's such a gold email, Like I see this. It 354 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 1: feels like when you watch something you know that's not 355 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 1: how I got. That's not real. It's so good. 356 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,560 Speaker 4: I get this, like social work, same thing, Like that's 357 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,600 Speaker 4: not that's not a thing, that's not what you do. 358 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:14,160 Speaker 2: What is this? I love that so much. It's real. Yes, 359 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 2: it's real. Yes, and I agree. This actually makes me. 360 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,720 Speaker 2: I've had a loose idea for something related to this 361 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:25,960 Speaker 2: for a while, but I think there's a strange thing 362 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:31,280 Speaker 2: that's happening with sort of the anti heroine. That's there's 363 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 2: a line between we need to she needs to work 364 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,960 Speaker 2: on herself from her own perspective, like this is healthy 365 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,280 Speaker 2: versus everyone else being like let's just throw her away. 366 00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 2: Look at this really happy version, Like I don't know, 367 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 2: there's a I've been thinking about this for a while actually, 368 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,240 Speaker 2: so we should come back to that. 369 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,879 Speaker 4: Yeah, And it's a fair point, Like and it's so 370 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:54,879 Speaker 4: disappointing when you think it's gonna be good because everybody 371 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:56,240 Speaker 4: hypes it up and then you watch it and you're like, 372 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 4: that's I felt that white about that. The newer version 373 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,480 Speaker 4: of Mad Max was Shirley's throne. I was like, this 374 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,080 Speaker 4: is not what they said. Wait what people will put 375 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:06,639 Speaker 4: such a big caveat to and then you come back 376 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:21,639 Speaker 4: and be like but what Yeah, And Meghan wrote I 377 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 4: want to write in because I'm getting so worried about 378 00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 4: social media as my kids grow older, and I have 379 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,280 Speaker 4: no idea how to navigate it. As a mom of 380 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,159 Speaker 4: three ages nine, twelve, and fourteen, I find myself at 381 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,439 Speaker 4: a loss when it comes navigating this digital landscape. My oldest, 382 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,800 Speaker 4: who is about to graduate eighth grade is starting to 383 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:40,240 Speaker 4: express a desire to get social media, and she keeps 384 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,840 Speaker 4: talking about how all of her friends have it. However, 385 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,040 Speaker 4: I can't help but worry about the realistic standards it 386 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,359 Speaker 4: says and how that could affect her development and self identity. 387 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,680 Speaker 4: I've done a lot of digging and I decided to 388 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:54,920 Speaker 4: let her use this app called Daily dy Lyy. It's 389 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:57,680 Speaker 4: a social media app that doesn't allow filters or edits 390 00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,840 Speaker 4: and you can only post real time, and it's mis 391 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,360 Speaker 4: is to bring the casualness and realness of posting back 392 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,919 Speaker 4: to social media. I've told my friends about it and 393 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:08,240 Speaker 4: they're all on board as well. Could be worth it 394 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,359 Speaker 4: to check it out. Am I crazy for not wanting 395 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,919 Speaker 4: her to get Instagram and TikTok? I want her to 396 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 4: grow up like an average kid and not miss out 397 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 4: on things her friends are doing. I just wish social 398 00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:21,639 Speaker 4: media wasn't so toxic, especially for girls. 399 00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:23,560 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's legitimate. 400 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:27,679 Speaker 4: I can't imagine just working in a field of social 401 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:32,000 Speaker 4: work and being with teens and seeing this. I had 402 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,479 Speaker 4: told my own family movie So, I don't have children, 403 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,480 Speaker 4: but I have nieces and nephew, and I expressed to 404 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 4: them don't do this, don't allow them on it unless 405 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,560 Speaker 4: you are truly able to monitor them. I always die hard, like, 406 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,560 Speaker 4: don't give them a cell phone. Don't give them a 407 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,359 Speaker 4: cell phone until like they're responsible enough to understand what 408 00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 4: this is because there's too many access Unfortunately we all 409 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,440 Speaker 4: have so have like PlayStations and all that that. 410 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,240 Speaker 1: Allow for networks. 411 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:00,040 Speaker 4: But I get the fear, like that is legitimate, not 412 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:04,000 Speaker 4: even talking about like when we talk about predators and 413 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 4: being groomed, but yeah, talking about how toxic it is, 414 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 4: especially for girls and what it is and honestly toxic 415 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:14,120 Speaker 4: for young men, young boys as well. Teaching this happen 416 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,679 Speaker 4: and thinking that it's okay. Like I've seen more and 417 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:23,080 Speaker 4: more TikTok videos recently, I say of like young teens 418 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,400 Speaker 4: going after people, and then Johnny be like, but I'm 419 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:26,800 Speaker 4: a kid, why are you being made to me? But 420 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 4: like they are giving off some of the most awful things, 421 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 4: saying the most awful things, and it's like, yeah, because 422 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 4: you're doing this, you need to be called out. Don't 423 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,399 Speaker 4: get me wrong, I don't want them to be bullied 424 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 4: or anything, but the legitimate fact is that they're learning 425 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,680 Speaker 4: that they think they think they can do these things, 426 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,960 Speaker 4: creating even more of a toxic culture, which is so scary. 427 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:49,479 Speaker 4: So I could not imagine going through all of that 428 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,800 Speaker 4: and having to do this. And I've never heard of 429 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,399 Speaker 4: this app, so I'm interested in. I have a friend 430 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,960 Speaker 4: who works for an app called Bark, which is a 431 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,960 Speaker 4: startup that helps monitor children as well as apparently they've 432 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:06,200 Speaker 4: done like catch a predator type of thing wow as 433 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:11,640 Speaker 4: well and like to help investigations all that to say, 434 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,680 Speaker 4: don't do that. I don't know what that is, but 435 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,920 Speaker 4: they most of it is just like being alerting parents 436 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,359 Speaker 4: to like things that they need to be aware of 437 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,199 Speaker 4: and things that could be on the site, and like 438 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:23,680 Speaker 4: help monitor what their children are looking at. 439 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:25,440 Speaker 1: That's the whole thing. 440 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,880 Speaker 4: Like again, as a nanny, I was like, uh ah, 441 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,800 Speaker 4: don't you can. They can only have it if they're 442 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:33,439 Speaker 4: present in front of me, and like begging them not to, 443 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:36,359 Speaker 4: like you're going to make your life harder and mind 444 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:40,600 Speaker 4: harder by allowing this. But yeah, and it's now the norm, 445 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,400 Speaker 4: So what do you do right? 446 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:47,119 Speaker 2: Right? And unfortunately we've talked about this too. It's being 447 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:51,600 Speaker 2: weaponized and like, like there are legitimate concerns here. I 448 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,399 Speaker 2: can't even imagine being a parent and yeah, deal with this, 449 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 2: but like with the especially like around weight or body image. 450 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,800 Speaker 2: But then it's being used by people who are not 451 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 2: in good faith for things like Kosa, which we've talked about, 452 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:09,320 Speaker 2: which is not targeting that at all, but they're using 453 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:12,199 Speaker 2: that as kind of a front. So it's unfortunate and 454 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,640 Speaker 2: it's a mess, and I don't really have a good answer. 455 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,880 Speaker 4: For well, you know, I think I will say as 456 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,119 Speaker 4: a person who again has worked in this field and 457 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,399 Speaker 4: has been a nanny and has all these things, not 458 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 4: a parent, putting that caveat there, but I have worked 459 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,359 Speaker 4: in the field. I have been there that that was 460 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 4: my profession for twenty years. It is I have seen 461 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,920 Speaker 4: more kids that seem resentful at the beginning about it 462 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:39,360 Speaker 4: come out later saying thank you. I'm very very grateful 463 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,399 Speaker 4: that I was able to monitor this. And this is 464 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,760 Speaker 4: included my niece and nephew because I had very like 465 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,119 Speaker 4: different like I have two siblings who had kids, and 466 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 4: they had very different ways of doing things, and it 467 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 4: shows and even though one they were going through their 468 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 4: own trauma, but like they didn't have access, they got 469 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:59,280 Speaker 4: it when they're eighteen and they are actually one of 470 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 4: them who didn't have access to lighteen. It's a social 471 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:06,280 Speaker 4: media coordinator for university here in Georgia. Like, she's fine, 472 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:09,320 Speaker 4: she's learned social media, but she didn't have access to 473 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,160 Speaker 4: it and comes back and says, I'm glad I didn't 474 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,800 Speaker 4: see that until I was at least a little more 475 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,119 Speaker 4: established in my confidence. 476 00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 1: And she's one of the most confident young women that 477 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 1: I've met, and I love her endure her. 478 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,960 Speaker 4: But like it's true, Like it's I've seen more people, 479 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,400 Speaker 4: even though they may have been resentful at the beginning, 480 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,080 Speaker 4: if your intentions are pure and being a protective parent 481 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,919 Speaker 4: later coming in and saying thank you, than I have 482 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:34,960 Speaker 4: being those who were given it to early having like 483 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:36,920 Speaker 4: oh man, like I'm great. 484 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:38,920 Speaker 1: I'm like they they. 485 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,680 Speaker 4: Had a lot of problems on social media as a kid, 486 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,119 Speaker 4: and I was very sad that they had to go 487 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:42,480 Speaker 4: through that. 488 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:48,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean we've talked about it before, but 489 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,640 Speaker 2: we were on a different track where like our parents 490 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,600 Speaker 2: didn't necessarily have to do that because it didn't really 491 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:58,760 Speaker 2: exist for me. Yeah, like I had something, but I'm 492 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,760 Speaker 2: glad that I didn't have this. I will say that 493 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,680 Speaker 2: it wasn't even an option for me. So it's sort 494 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:09,199 Speaker 2: of different, but I am actually pretty glad. Here's a 495 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:13,560 Speaker 2: final message here from Joanna. I was listening to one 496 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,080 Speaker 2: of your last episodes when Annie you mentioned being hard 497 00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:20,280 Speaker 2: of hearing. Your experience mirrors mine so much. The trying 498 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,119 Speaker 2: not to tell people and making sure people were on 499 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,480 Speaker 2: my good hearing side, trying to pass off that I 500 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 2: was listening when I was only understanding half of what 501 00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:30,520 Speaker 2: was said. It really rang true, especially because I started 502 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,520 Speaker 2: losing my hearing on the left side when I was 503 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 2: in my late twenties early thirties, the prime age for ostosclerosis, 504 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,720 Speaker 2: and it wasn't obvious at first. I have to say 505 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,560 Speaker 2: things have gotten much better, not perfect, but better once 506 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,880 Speaker 2: I actually had my hearing assessed and got a hearing aid. 507 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:48,840 Speaker 2: The adjustment period was rough, super tiring, but once I 508 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,080 Speaker 2: was adjusted, it really empowered me to talk to other 509 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 2: people about it. My colleagues all know I'm hard of 510 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,560 Speaker 2: hearing and have no problems accommodating me when necessary, like 511 00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 2: close captions on zoom calls or moving to a space 512 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,639 Speaker 2: to work when in person. It's been a journey, but 513 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,000 Speaker 2: I'm in a good space about it now, even knowing 514 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:08,879 Speaker 2: I'll probably need to get a hearing aid for my 515 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,280 Speaker 2: right year. In the next three to five years, I 516 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 2: hope you can continue in your hearing lost journey and 517 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,200 Speaker 2: start feeling more empowered to ask for accommodations from others. 518 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,960 Speaker 2: It really does help. Just want to close by saying 519 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,680 Speaker 2: I love the podcast. You both kept me entertained during 520 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,680 Speaker 2: many long runs of the years, but especially during marathon 521 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:27,679 Speaker 2: training this winter. 522 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,400 Speaker 3: Oh well goodness, I yes. 523 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,320 Speaker 4: I keep thinking about my days of running. I'm like, 524 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,679 Speaker 4: I do that, but I can't do that. 525 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,720 Speaker 2: Similar I'm like, I want to do it again, and 526 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,600 Speaker 2: I'm like, but do you. 527 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:45,160 Speaker 1: I have the one time I did the I can't 528 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:49,480 Speaker 1: do more than this, but thank you very. 529 00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:51,959 Speaker 2: Much for your message. I actually, when I was in Vegas, 530 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 2: I had a moment where I was like, should I 531 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,200 Speaker 2: tell people that I can't? Should I ask for them 532 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,720 Speaker 2: to move? I didn't. But then I had another moment 533 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,600 Speaker 2: where so many people were talking around me, which you know, 534 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,160 Speaker 2: you can get from hearing loss, but you can also 535 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,000 Speaker 2: get from just processing issues. 536 00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:12,040 Speaker 3: But I was literally like I almost got. 537 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,119 Speaker 2: Angry, Like it was like the emotion you get when 538 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:17,159 Speaker 2: you like the anxiety is building. Yeah, and I was 539 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:18,240 Speaker 2: just mad. 540 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't take it out on anybody. 541 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,480 Speaker 1: I don't think you would, but it was I was like, 542 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:26,800 Speaker 1: did you get the situation? 543 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,360 Speaker 2: Okay, I did not know. 544 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:31,439 Speaker 1: You'll get there. 545 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:36,159 Speaker 2: I will. Yeah. It's funny though, because two of the 546 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 2: people I was with asked to move because they're left handed, 547 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,359 Speaker 2: which is totally legitimate. 548 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,639 Speaker 3: I was like, they asked to move, why can I 549 00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:44,280 Speaker 3: ask the move? 550 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,200 Speaker 4: Literally, like I'm not gonna be a part of this 551 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:47,639 Speaker 4: conversation I was. 552 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:52,640 Speaker 2: I was sitting there like oh, and I was right 553 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,440 Speaker 2: in the middle, so it was like very obvious. 554 00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 4: Anyway, I've learned to read your face when you don't 555 00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,440 Speaker 4: know what I'm saying but you're not asking, but you're 556 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:01,160 Speaker 4: just like duh. 557 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:03,480 Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, she didn't hear me. 558 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:03,919 Speaker 3: We have to. 559 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:10,240 Speaker 2: Do this again, yes, which I appreciate, but thank you 560 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 2: I have. I've gotten a lot of solace from people 561 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:14,399 Speaker 2: sharing their experiences. 562 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,960 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, I know. I feel like that. 563 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,840 Speaker 4: That's part of our podcasting is like, yes, we are 564 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:21,920 Speaker 4: vulnerable and share. But then it's kind of like, oh, 565 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,159 Speaker 4: thanks for all the love. This is such a good 566 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,200 Speaker 4: pad on but reassurance. 567 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,160 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. 568 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:33,240 Speaker 2: We hearing from you listeners is amazing. Thank you so 569 00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:37,439 Speaker 2: much to everyone who wrote in for this, To everyone 570 00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:40,280 Speaker 2: who has written in, we love it. We love hearing 571 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,600 Speaker 2: from you. We really do appreciate it. And if you 572 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,360 Speaker 2: want to contact us you can. Our email is Stephanie 573 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,480 Speaker 2: and mom Steff at Iheartmande dot com. You can find 574 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:49,800 Speaker 2: us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, or on Instagram 575 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,520 Speaker 2: and TikTok at Stuff. We never told you. We have 576 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,040 Speaker 2: a tea public store and a book you can get 577 00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:56,840 Speaker 2: at Stuff. You should read books dot com or where 578 00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 2: we get your books. Thanks. It's always to our super 579 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,400 Speaker 2: produce Grace, our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey. 580 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:04,080 Speaker 4: Yes, thank you, and all the people who've actually bought 581 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 4: eye book and sending us messages and pictures. Thank you 582 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,240 Speaker 4: so much, Oh my gosh, thank you so so much, 583 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 4: and thanks for listening. 584 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,960 Speaker 2: I'm a step I never told these objection of my 585 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:15,960 Speaker 2: Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, you 586 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,120 Speaker 2: can check out the heart Radio app, Apple podcast wherever 587 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:19,480 Speaker 2: you listen to your favorite shows.