WEBVTT - #460 Lauren Bright Pacheco with Alan Beaman - Part 2 0:00:05.880 --> 0:00:09.560 Tens of thousands of people incarcerated in the US have 0:00:09.640 --> 0:00:13.440 been wrongfully convicted and are being held in captivity for crimes, 0:00:13.600 --> 0:00:17.759 even as they adamantly maintain their innocence. What's it like 0:00:17.960 --> 0:00:20.520 to be one of those imprisoned people, and what's it 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:23.799 like to be their ally, the one outside committed to 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:27.520 fighting for their freedom. I'm Lauren Braye Pacheco, and this 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:39.840 is wrongful conviction. Previously on Wrongful Conviction, Alan Beeman's life 0:00:39.880 --> 0:00:43.560 forever changed his senior year in college. 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:48.800 I met Jennifer. We dated for about a year, and 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:54.120 we broke up about a month before she was murdered. 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:57.480 When an overzealous investigation honed in. 0:00:58.320 --> 0:01:02.480 I just remember looking at her and seeing cops everywhere, 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:05.000 and he said, I need you to come down to 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:08.240 the station with me, and he handcuffed me right there 0:01:08.280 --> 0:01:11.680 in front of the student center, in front of all 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:14.720 of my classmates, professors. 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:16.200 And people coming and going around the campus. 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:20.759 But even an alibi, private representation, and a supportive family 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:23.080 were no match for tunnel vision. 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:29.320 When the verdict was read, I mouthed to the state's attorney, 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:31.080 how do you sleep at night? 0:01:32.840 --> 0:01:37.319 I'm Lauren Bright Pacheco and this is wrongful conviction. Welcome 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:41.319 back to the second half of the unbelievably infuriating wrongful 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:45.080 conviction of Alan Beeman, a case that is glaring in 0:01:45.120 --> 0:01:49.560 its extremes. Beeman came from a conservative educated family, his 0:01:49.680 --> 0:01:53.400 father was former military, His family secured the resources for 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:57.360 not only legal representation, but to post a one million 0:01:57.480 --> 0:02:02.080 dollar bond. And yet, despite all of the assumed advantages 0:02:02.120 --> 0:02:06.200 he had in justice like water found its way when 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:09.919 Beeman was convicted of murdering his former girlfriend and sentenced 0:02:09.960 --> 0:02:12.160 to fifty five years to life, even though he had 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:17.160 an alibi and willingly submitted himself to questioning and DNA testing. 0:02:17.680 --> 0:02:20.840 We pick up now with Alan, his parents, Barry and Carol, 0:02:21.040 --> 0:02:27.000 and eventually his wife Gretchen. Going back to the sentencing, 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:31.680 How does your life immediately change after your sentenced? 0:02:32.320 --> 0:02:34.360 So I was in the county jail for about a 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:39.800 month after the conviction, dealing with the motions to reconsider 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:44.680 the sentencing hearing and then being scheduled to be sent 0:02:44.720 --> 0:02:50.079 to Illinois Department of Corrections, and my second time through 0:02:50.120 --> 0:02:54.720 the county jail was a rude awakening. I still definitely 0:02:55.200 --> 0:02:59.120 had an adverse reaction to being incarcerated. But I still 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:03.440 say that God sent people to me throughout this entire 0:03:03.600 --> 0:03:08.120 ordeal that were intended to encourage me and to help 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:11.440 me get through it alive. And so while I was 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:14.720 in the county jail, there were people that essentially said 0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:16.799 the same thing to me that we don't think there 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:19.840 was evidence. We watched it on TV, and what was reported, 0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:23.240 we thought it was ridiculous. There were some guys in 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:26.239 the county jail that had been to prison before. Obviously 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:32.079 there's recidivism. People come back, and I was coached up 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:36.280 on what to expect, so I had a little more 0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:40.480 opportunity to prepare myself for what was coming. So that 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:45.040 was a period of time where I started seeking God 0:03:45.280 --> 0:03:52.000 a little more and wanting to understand what was happening 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:55.720 to me. And certainly the last refuge of a scoundrel 0:03:56.280 --> 0:04:00.520 is his prayer right. No atheists in foxholes. So I 0:04:00.600 --> 0:04:05.520 was really challenged greatly to make sense of my circumstances. 0:04:05.840 --> 0:04:09.000 Our first reaction to these kinds of situation is to 0:04:09.040 --> 0:04:11.600 try to make sense of it, and it's harder for 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:14.040 the innocent person to make sense of it, because it's 0:04:14.040 --> 0:04:17.520 not right when somebody is guilty they can just be like, yeah, 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:20.920 I deserve this, But when you're innocent, you can't do that, 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:26.279 and so you almost have to seek in the supernatural 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:29.240 to understand why this is happening to me. 0:04:29.839 --> 0:04:32.760 You must have been so afraid though, too. 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:33.679 Oh yeah. 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:38.919 Yeah, And Carol, I've read that you were a brunette 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:43.400 when when your son was sentenced, but then it was 0:04:43.560 --> 0:04:47.480 over a month before you saw him, and that the 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:51.000 stress of that month had turned you gray. 0:04:51.920 --> 0:04:55.279 It certainly did a good number on that. Yeah. 0:04:55.360 --> 0:04:58.200 The last time I saw my mom in the county jail, 0:04:58.320 --> 0:05:02.120 her hair was most liber Yeah. The first time I 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:07.400 saw her in Monard Correctional Center, her hair was white. 0:05:07.680 --> 0:05:09.200 What were your biggest fears, Carol? 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:13.760 Just for his safety. Keep in mind, he doesn't look 0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:16.680 like it now, but at the time, I think if 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:19.359 you soak down and down, he might have made one 0:05:19.440 --> 0:05:26.359 hundred and thirty pounds and so five eight hundred and 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:30.200 thirty pounds. Yeah, And he wasn't a fighter, He wasn't 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:32.479 someone who had done any of that sort of thing, 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:39.800 and his sports had been running, swimming, and also there 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:43.800 wasn't any bodybuilding kind of thing at that point. So 0:05:45.240 --> 0:05:48.359 fear for his safety and Manard was so far away 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:51.320 from our home. It was actually a two day trip 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:53.760 for us. We would go part way down and then 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:57.240 after work on Friday and then finish it on Saturday. 0:05:57.279 --> 0:06:00.760 I see him and then come back. And we had 0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:03.960 been advised not to go too often because it would 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:07.760 make the time longer for him if we went too often, 0:06:08.120 --> 0:06:10.320 so we tried to go about every six weeks to 0:06:10.440 --> 0:06:13.880 visit him, So a lot of time passed during that time. 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:16.760 He was allowed to call us once in a while 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:21.800 collect calls. I ran across the old telephone bills that 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:24.880 showed all the collect calls that he had to make 0:06:24.920 --> 0:06:25.919 at that time. 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:30.320 And in those days how expensive those collect calls would 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:30.680 have been. 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:36.080 It was running about sixty dollars a month in phone calls, 0:06:36.800 --> 0:06:40.000 and some families I know can't deal with that, And 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:42.839 we just felt it was necessary to always be there 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:43.520 if we could. 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:51.080 And what was the biggest hardest transition for you, Alan, 0:06:51.400 --> 0:06:54.919 What was the most significant hurdle that you remember adjusting 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:55.800 to life in prison? 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:56.800 Oh? 0:06:57.000 --> 0:07:00.599 Man, it's a can of worms, going from the shock 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:03.119 of being convicted and then being in the county jail 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:06.440 for a month. I very seldom, but occasionally felt like 0:07:06.520 --> 0:07:09.680 I was in danger in the county jail getting off 0:07:09.720 --> 0:07:14.320 the bus in the Department corrections down in Minard Correctional Center. 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:18.520 They threw me to the wolves. It was a completely 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:23.200 different kind of culture shock. It wasn't a nice, neat 0:07:23.360 --> 0:07:29.480 orderly jail where everything ran smoothly. It was a wilderness 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:35.120 that I was dropped into and had to survive. After 0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:38.880 being in the receiving area for a period of time, 0:07:38.960 --> 0:07:44.120 I was moved into the general population and I moved 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:48.520 into a cell that was empty. When I moved into it, 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:51.160 it was empty and trashed, and so I moved in 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:55.800 and I started cleaning up, and a counselor came by 0:07:56.920 --> 0:08:00.480 prison counselor and introduced himself and said what gang are 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:04.600 you in? And I said, I'm not in a gang. 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:08.480 I'm a neutron. And he said there's no neutrons in 0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:13.920 the West House and I said there's one now, and 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:18.040 he said, well, you really should think about finding a 0:08:18.080 --> 0:08:21.560 group of friends that you can join up with. So 0:08:21.640 --> 0:08:27.960 I was encouraged by a government employee to join a 0:08:28.000 --> 0:08:33.200 gang in prison in order to survive. And I had 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:38.400 been discouraged from that by other people who warned me 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:42.560 that that would be tempting and said, if you do that, 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:47.719 you're going to become that gang's send off dummy. If 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:50.199 you're fighting this case, if you're saying you didn't do it, 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:52.280 they're going to put a shank in your hand. They're 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:55.640 going to send you after somebody. They're going to use you, 0:08:56.600 --> 0:08:59.320 even though you think that they're helping you survive, They're 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:01.640 going to get you a life sentence for something else. 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:06.800 And so I resisted any temptation to protect myself by 0:09:06.880 --> 0:09:11.600 surrounding myself with other people. And at that point I 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:19.720 really began to genuinely and wholeheartedly pursue my relationship with God. 0:09:20.400 --> 0:09:23.319 I knew that I had nothing else. I was dead meat. 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:26.240 They intended for my death from this. That's the only 0:09:26.280 --> 0:09:29.400 thing I can calculate from the environment that I was in. 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:33.840 Wow, I want to talk to you about anger, because 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:39.000 you all must have been so angry. How did you 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:42.680 harness that anger? How did you keep it from consuming you? 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:45.560 And I know, Alan, you and I had communicated a 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:49.000 little bit that initially it almost derailed you. What did 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:50.080 anger become for you? 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:54.600 It was never a constructive thing for me throughout the 0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:59.520 whole experience. It was the only acceptable emotion that a 0:09:59.640 --> 0:10:04.680 man can express in prison. If you express any other 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:11.040 emotion besides anger, you are a bitch. And that's just 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:16.199 the way it is, and so you swallow everything else, 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:22.280 and everything else has to morph into anger in order 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:29.240 to be processed or expressed. And I learned very quickly 0:10:29.360 --> 0:10:32.320 to turn off all of those other feelings because they 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:35.640 were going to get me killed. And I never turned 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:39.040 them back on until I came home. And we'll probably 0:10:39.040 --> 0:10:44.000 talk about that's more linking. But for me, I succumbed 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:50.160 to anger as a product of my environment, slowly, seductively, 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:54.800 knowing that was the only emotion I could have, And 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:58.559 I very much, for the first probably five years, was 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:01.120 a product of my environment. I started working out, I 0:11:01.160 --> 0:11:03.720 got bigger, I got tougher, I got mouthier, and I 0:11:03.800 --> 0:11:06.240 wasn't going to take any crap from anybody, and I 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:12.480 was in some dangerous situations. Fortunately by then I had 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:16.040 adjusted well enough that I could keep a clear head 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:19.920 and navigate those situations. And I truly believe God was 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:22.719 with me throughout all of this, protecting me. Otherwise I 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:23.320 would be dead. 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:27.920 Barry and Carol, you've spoken about how you harnessed your 0:11:27.960 --> 0:11:31.720 anger and utilized it for activism. But how did you 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:37.080 guys get linked with Jeff Erdangen and ultimately the Northwestern 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:38.520 University School of Law. 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:43.920 We first went to Jeff in terms of looking for 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:47.400 someone to take the case as far as trying to 0:11:47.440 --> 0:11:50.920 overturn it, and he was still in private practice at 0:11:50.960 --> 0:11:57.719 that time. So we talked Jeff and he said, I'm interested, 0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:00.480 but I have to talk to Alan before or I 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:05.840 will commit to taking the case. Goes down and sees Alan, 0:12:06.360 --> 0:12:10.960 and when he called us later after seeing Alan, he said, 0:12:11.200 --> 0:12:16.600 I don't like him, but I believe him. Did you 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:17.280 know that Alan? 0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:21.960 I Jeff came down to visit me with a private 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:26.280 investigator who had been part of law enforcement in the past, 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:32.560 and the two of them proceeded to interrogate me for 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:37.280 the duration of the visit. Jeff would ask some sort 0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:42.520 of straightforward questions, and then the cop would provoke me 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:46.000 with questions about that's not what a normal person would 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:47.959 do if they were asked that question. How come you're 0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:51.240 so different? You seem suspicious to me. It just seemed 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:55.240 like this was a test. But at a certain point 0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:57.760 I had enough and I said, look, if you guys 0:12:57.760 --> 0:12:58.480 don't believe me. 0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:00.000 I don't need you. 0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:04.800 And I ended the visit and I went back to 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:07.360 my cell and I thought that was the end of it, 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:10.079 that these were not going to be that Jeffer Dangen 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:12.320 was not going to be the person that represented me. 0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:16.720 And then he went back to Chicago and called my 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:20.719 mom and told her the infamous I don't like him, 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:23.360 but I believe him statement. 0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:27.920 And if I'm not mistaken, he didn't just like you. 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:29.840 He ended up taking your case pro bono. 0:13:30.120 --> 0:13:33.800 He did, and to this day he's a very good friend, 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:39.400 a family friend, somebody I still value his advice and 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:43.520 opinion and can't say enough nice about. 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:45.240 And how did jeff tell you that he was taking 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:46.240 your case pro bono? 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:50.400 After we'd paid him for several things along the way, 0:13:50.480 --> 0:13:55.920 he finally said, you can't afford me, and so that's 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:58.520 when he kept it pro bono. But the deal was 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:02.720 we were supposed to pay for Julia and for his investigator. 0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:06.760 And then eventually he came to us and said, I've 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:11.040 got a chance to go to Northwestern and they've told 0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:13.800 me I can take along a case or two, and 0:14:14.120 --> 0:14:17.600 I'd like for you to present the people at Northwestern 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:21.800 so he arranged for us to meet with a panel 0:14:21.840 --> 0:14:25.320 of students and with Karen Daniel and Chris Jeff. 0:14:26.000 --> 0:14:29.560 Then the Center on Wrongful Convictions gets involved. And this 0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:33.400 is probably what I find most infuriating about this case, 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:39.040 because you have Jeff or Dangen, you have the Northwestern 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:43.600 University Center on Wrongful Convictions, you have at this point 0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:50.640 the dream team behind you, and it isn't exactly quickly 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:53.840 unraveled and resolved at that point. 0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:57.400 I was in Minard when we filed the post conviction petition, 0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:02.680 and I did three and a half years in Stateville, 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:06.080 two years in Mount Sterling, and another couple of years 0:15:06.120 --> 0:15:09.560 in Dixon before I had a hearing. So it was 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:12.440 a good like six or seven years before we got 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:15.800 to being able to have a hearing. What was happening 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:20.040 was we would we would get a date set, and 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:23.160 the judge would retire, and then we would get a 0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:26.120 date set and then the state's attorney that was handling 0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:29.440 the case would become a judge. So there were numerous 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:36.440 changes of judges and numerous changes of states attorneys. And 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:39.160 it seems like the way to become a judge in 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:43.840 McLean County is to oppose a wrongful conviction case, whether 0:15:43.920 --> 0:15:47.760 it's mine or Jamie Snow or Bart McNeil, if you 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:51.160 are a state's attorney that is fighting against someone appealing 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:53.520 a wrongful conviction, you get to be a judge. 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:58.520 And sure enough, your post conviction relief was denied yep 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:03.160 by the McLean County Circuit Court, and your lawyer's appealed 0:16:03.200 --> 0:16:07.040 to that decision. Yes, what was the rock bottom moment 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:11.080 for you guys? Each individually? You must have felt like sisyphus, 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:12.920 all of you at that point. 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:17.440 I don't know that it was one time frequently it 0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:21.160 would happen. I can say for me personally, it was 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:27.320 early on. Actually, I taught high school and I was 0:16:27.400 --> 0:16:33.000 staying late one day for parent conferences, and I walked 0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:35.680 back to my classroom where I was going to hold 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:39.440 my conferences, and there was a big sign on my 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:44.440 door that said murderer's mother for all my parents to see. 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:48.560 That was the rock bottom personally, Carol, I can't even 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:54.360 imagine how that when you just feel like you're being 0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:59.120 punched by the system. Yeah, it came to the point 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:01.320 where I was never sure when Alan was going to 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:02.560 show up in my classroom. 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:07.160 Alan, what for you was the most difficult part. You 0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:12.520 serve time in four different prisons over the course of 0:17:12.920 --> 0:17:15.040 the years that you were five. 0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:18.480 Really really six, but two of them I was only 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:21.040 in for short periods of time, okay, four that I 0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:22.680 was in for longer periods of time. 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:26.280 What got you through? In other words, I know you 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:29.600 said you had to harness anger as a shield, but 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:31.879 how did you stay sane? 0:17:32.720 --> 0:17:33.240 Didn't? 0:17:34.440 --> 0:17:34.959 I didn't. 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:38.720 That's the fact is that I didn't stay sane. I 0:17:39.240 --> 0:17:42.959 got worse for a while, and while I was in 0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:47.280 Stateville Correctional Center, I was almost to the point where 0:17:47.320 --> 0:17:50.240 I was so done with all of it that if 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:53.280 me speaking my mind and getting in somebody's face caused 0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:56.040 me to get stabbed to death, so be it. I 0:17:56.160 --> 0:18:01.040 was done. I was quite irrationally, again a product of 0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:04.520 my environment, and very much in tune with my toxic 0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:08.040 masculinity at that time, so much to the point where 0:18:08.119 --> 0:18:10.639 I actually went to a gang chief and asked if 0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:12.280 I could have a one on one fight with one 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:14.399 of his guys, because the guy had been talking crazy 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:17.840 to me and they knew me, and they said, beaman, 0:18:18.280 --> 0:18:21.520 everybody gets along with you, and we're going to talk 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:22.080 to this guy. 0:18:22.119 --> 0:18:24.040 And he's not going to mess with you anymore. 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:27.639 And I said okay, and so they talked to him, 0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:30.280 and then he did it again a couple days later, 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:32.639 and I went back to the guy again and I said, okay, 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:34.440 when can I get that one on one fight? Because 0:18:34.440 --> 0:18:38.320 he did not stop. They said, we're going to talk 0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:42.399 to him and that'll be that. And they chewed this 0:18:42.520 --> 0:18:44.879 kid out right in front of everybody, in the middle 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:48.679 of the chow hall. And he wasn't trying to hear it, 0:18:48.760 --> 0:18:51.639 because why are you sticking up for that neutron. You 0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:54.720 should be taking my side. And one of the guys 0:18:54.760 --> 0:18:56.840 stood up and said, fuck it, just let Beaman kick 0:18:56.880 --> 0:19:00.800 his ass and the guy I never said a word 0:19:00.840 --> 0:19:01.399 to me again. 0:19:01.840 --> 0:19:03.600 That was the end of it. Again. 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:07.120 I should have been dead. God was protecting me and 0:19:07.160 --> 0:19:11.360 preparing me for something. It wasn't very long after that 0:19:11.359 --> 0:19:14.840 that I was sitting in a bullpen after a visit 0:19:14.880 --> 0:19:17.120 with my parents, waiting to go back to my cell 0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:20.040 and I really had to go to the bathroom, and 0:19:20.200 --> 0:19:22.520 the chapel line was leaving the building and that was 0:19:22.560 --> 0:19:23.840 the only way I was going to get to the 0:19:23.880 --> 0:19:25.240 bathroom for the next hour. 0:19:25.920 --> 0:19:29.360 So I went to church because I had to peep okay, 0:19:29.520 --> 0:19:30.720 such language. 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:33.600 And I sat in the chapel and I listened to 0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:37.640 the chaplain and he was talking sense. So I kept 0:19:37.640 --> 0:19:41.280 going every week. As crazy as it is. However, God 0:19:41.359 --> 0:19:42.679 is going to get a hold of you. That's how 0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:46.159 he's going to do it. And grateful for the fact 0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:48.760 that God reached out to me that way, and that 0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:52.960 I had an opportunity to look at myself and say, 0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:54.479 this is not who I have to be. And at 0:19:54.480 --> 0:20:00.360 that point I was finally able to slowly and progressive lee, 0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:04.479 let down my guard and care about another person in 0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:10.160 my environment and say, there's more to life than surviving 0:20:10.280 --> 0:20:13.600 this hell hole. And I'm going to be a good 0:20:13.680 --> 0:20:18.120 person even if it kills me. And I think that's 0:20:18.359 --> 0:20:20.960 I don't get a little tear Europe. 0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:22.120 Sorry, but I. 0:20:22.040 --> 0:20:24.840 Don't know exactly where rock bottom was, but I know 0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:27.000 that's where I started to ascend out of it. 0:20:27.280 --> 0:20:30.320 Wow, Thank goodness for a full bladder. 0:20:33.880 --> 0:20:35.080 The problem I have a lot. 0:20:36.680 --> 0:20:42.040 It was finding that community, the spiritual community. Yeah, that 0:20:42.320 --> 0:20:45.000 set you free from the anger. 0:20:45.720 --> 0:21:02.400 Yeah. 0:21:04.240 --> 0:21:10.080 So on May twenty second, two thousand and eight, the 0:21:10.119 --> 0:21:16.080 Illinois Supreme Court overturned Alan's conviction because the prosecution had 0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:22.359 withheld exculpatory evidence that would have been likely to have 0:21:22.480 --> 0:21:27.840 changed the jury's verdict of guilty. And after thirteen years 0:21:27.840 --> 0:21:30.119 in prison for a murder that you did not commit, 0:21:30.520 --> 0:21:33.840 you walked out of jail on June twenty seventh, two 0:21:33.880 --> 0:21:38.520 thousand and eight, wearing a Chicago Bears T shirt, jeans, 0:21:38.640 --> 0:21:42.840 and a baseball hat after posting ten percent of a 0:21:42.960 --> 0:21:48.879 two hundred and fifty thousand dollars bond. What emotions did you, 0:21:48.920 --> 0:21:52.879 guys experience in that moment when your eyes first locked 0:21:52.880 --> 0:21:57.159 on the other side of those walls? What emotions? 0:21:57.240 --> 0:21:57.359 Just? 0:21:58.000 --> 0:21:59.920 Wow? 0:22:00.840 --> 0:22:03.280 Is this real? Pinch me? 0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:08.760 I can tell you what we did after my brother 0:22:08.800 --> 0:22:10.800 and sister in law had come down with us to 0:22:10.800 --> 0:22:14.520 pick him up, and we loaded him in the car 0:22:15.800 --> 0:22:21.920 and we stopped at Denny's. Denny's he ordered a steak 0:22:22.400 --> 0:22:26.400 and was shocked when they gave him a real knife. 0:22:28.320 --> 0:22:32.080 And cell phones had come into being at that. 0:22:32.160 --> 0:22:34.280 And our cell phones were ringing off the. 0:22:34.160 --> 0:22:37.440 Wall and they were flip phones, of course, just passing 0:22:37.520 --> 0:22:41.280 phones around the car for him to talk on to 0:22:41.400 --> 0:22:45.480 different people. And then we stopped at a wayside and 0:22:47.240 --> 0:22:51.000 there was a swing set at the wayside and he 0:22:51.080 --> 0:22:57.080 had to go swing on the swing set. So every 0:22:57.119 --> 0:22:59.840 time I see the picture of that, I tear up. 0:23:01.800 --> 0:23:06.399 Alan. You just take me to that moment, your feet 0:23:06.560 --> 0:23:09.720 hitting the ground outside. 0:23:09.600 --> 0:23:09.800 You know. 0:23:09.920 --> 0:23:13.400 I think at that point there was no like Catharsis 0:23:13.520 --> 0:23:17.040 or it was just Wow, this is awesome, and I'm 0:23:17.080 --> 0:23:19.879 loving every minute of this. And I don't know what 0:23:19.920 --> 0:23:21.840 happened that day. I was on my phone the whole time. 0:23:21.960 --> 0:23:24.520 It was a phone call after a phone call after 0:23:24.560 --> 0:23:26.240 a phone call, of all the people that were calling, 0:23:26.240 --> 0:23:28.840 Oh my gosh, I heard, and I didn't really process 0:23:28.960 --> 0:23:30.920 until we got home and they were pressed at my 0:23:31.000 --> 0:23:33.959 house and I did a brief interview there and then 0:23:34.000 --> 0:23:36.240 everybody went to bed and it was just me and 0:23:36.560 --> 0:23:43.440 I stayed up all night just experiencing the first time 0:23:43.520 --> 0:23:46.199 I could just Oh, I can go outside. Oh I 0:23:46.240 --> 0:23:48.400 can go over to the fridge and make a sandwich. 0:23:49.560 --> 0:23:52.439 I can play with the dog. Oh I can go 0:23:52.480 --> 0:23:53.280 back outside again. 0:23:53.680 --> 0:23:58.320 All the things that seemed so obvious and simple before. 0:23:58.920 --> 0:24:01.760 Yeah, it's the little thing we take so much for 0:24:01.840 --> 0:24:05.600 granted from just ordinary life. And so I just experienced 0:24:05.680 --> 0:24:08.840 those all night, and I watched the sunrise and then 0:24:08.960 --> 0:24:11.639 promptly began complaining about the price of gas and the 0:24:11.640 --> 0:24:16.200 speed of my internet. 0:24:16.359 --> 0:24:19.200 But even on top of that, in many ways, you're out, 0:24:19.280 --> 0:24:23.520 But the nightmare is not over, not at all. Still, Yeah, 0:24:23.640 --> 0:24:29.120 you still remain charged with Jennifer's murder. Yes, and the 0:24:29.160 --> 0:24:34.800 office of McLean County State's Attorney announced that it intended 0:24:34.840 --> 0:24:37.520 to retry you. Yeah, that must have been such an 0:24:37.560 --> 0:24:39.680 emotional roller coaster for you all. 0:24:40.160 --> 0:24:44.119 I knew that was the deal from the moment I 0:24:44.359 --> 0:24:47.119 was heading back to the county jail. I knew that 0:24:47.200 --> 0:24:53.480 I was bonding out. I wasn't exonerated. I was bonding 0:24:53.520 --> 0:24:57.199 out to be retried. But there was a lot of 0:24:57.200 --> 0:25:00.840 hope in this because now we've got this momentum of 0:25:00.920 --> 0:25:04.359 investigative power. All the stuff I've been trying for the 0:25:04.440 --> 0:25:07.199 last thirteen years to get them to test the damn DNA, 0:25:07.640 --> 0:25:10.919 trying to get them to follow up on leads that 0:25:11.000 --> 0:25:14.800 never got followed. I've been trying to just get a 0:25:14.920 --> 0:25:20.320 real honest evidentiary review and some real honest detective work 0:25:20.320 --> 0:25:24.439 out of these people. And now I have investigative power 0:25:24.920 --> 0:25:28.919 and they have to let me do it. And to 0:25:29.000 --> 0:25:32.040