1 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:09,560 Speaker 1: Tens of thousands of people incarcerated in the US have 2 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: been wrongfully convicted and are being held in captivity for crimes, 3 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:17,759 Speaker 1: even as they adamantly maintain their innocence. What's it like 4 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: to be one of those imprisoned people, and what's it 5 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,799 Speaker 1: like to be their ally, the one outside committed to 6 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: fighting for their freedom. I'm Lauren Braye Pacheco, and this 7 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:39,840 Speaker 1: is wrongful conviction. Previously on Wrongful Conviction, Alan Beeman's life 8 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,560 Speaker 1: forever changed his senior year in college. 9 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 2: I met Jennifer. We dated for about a year, and 10 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:54,120 Speaker 2: we broke up about a month before she was murdered. 11 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 1: When an overzealous investigation honed in. 12 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 2: I just remember looking at her and seeing cops everywhere, 13 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 2: and he said, I need you to come down to 14 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 2: the station with me, and he handcuffed me right there 15 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:11,680 Speaker 2: in front of the student center, in front of all 16 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,720 Speaker 2: of my classmates, professors. 17 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 3: And people coming and going around the campus. 18 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:20,759 Speaker 1: But even an alibi, private representation, and a supportive family 19 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 1: were no match for tunnel vision. 20 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:29,320 Speaker 4: When the verdict was read, I mouthed to the state's attorney, 21 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 4: how do you sleep at night? 22 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:37,319 Speaker 1: I'm Lauren Bright Pacheco and this is wrongful conviction. Welcome 23 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:41,319 Speaker 1: back to the second half of the unbelievably infuriating wrongful 24 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 1: conviction of Alan Beeman, a case that is glaring in 25 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 1: its extremes. Beeman came from a conservative educated family, his 26 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: father was former military, His family secured the resources for 27 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: not only legal representation, but to post a one million 28 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 1: dollar bond. And yet, despite all of the assumed advantages 29 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 1: he had in justice like water found its way when 30 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,919 Speaker 1: Beeman was convicted of murdering his former girlfriend and sentenced 31 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: to fifty five years to life, even though he had 32 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 1: an alibi and willingly submitted himself to questioning and DNA testing. 33 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,840 Speaker 1: We pick up now with Alan, his parents, Barry and Carol, 34 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 1: and eventually his wife Gretchen. Going back to the sentencing, 35 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:31,680 Speaker 1: How does your life immediately change after your sentenced? 36 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 2: So I was in the county jail for about a 37 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:39,800 Speaker 2: month after the conviction, dealing with the motions to reconsider 38 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 2: the sentencing hearing and then being scheduled to be sent 39 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:50,079 Speaker 2: to Illinois Department of Corrections, and my second time through 40 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 2: the county jail was a rude awakening. I still definitely 41 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:59,120 Speaker 2: had an adverse reaction to being incarcerated. But I still 42 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 2: say that God sent people to me throughout this entire 43 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:08,120 Speaker 2: ordeal that were intended to encourage me and to help 44 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 2: me get through it alive. And so while I was 45 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 2: in the county jail, there were people that essentially said 46 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,799 Speaker 2: the same thing to me that we don't think there 47 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 2: was evidence. We watched it on TV, and what was reported, 48 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 2: we thought it was ridiculous. There were some guys in 49 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,239 Speaker 2: the county jail that had been to prison before. Obviously 50 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:32,079 Speaker 2: there's recidivism. People come back, and I was coached up 51 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 2: on what to expect, so I had a little more 52 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 2: opportunity to prepare myself for what was coming. So that 53 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 2: was a period of time where I started seeking God 54 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 2: a little more and wanting to understand what was happening 55 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 2: to me. And certainly the last refuge of a scoundrel 56 00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 2: is his prayer right. No atheists in foxholes. So I 57 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 2: was really challenged greatly to make sense of my circumstances. 58 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 2: Our first reaction to these kinds of situation is to 59 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 2: try to make sense of it, and it's harder for 60 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,040 Speaker 2: the innocent person to make sense of it, because it's 61 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 2: not right when somebody is guilty they can just be like, yeah, 62 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,920 Speaker 2: I deserve this, But when you're innocent, you can't do that, 63 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:26,279 Speaker 2: and so you almost have to seek in the supernatural 64 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 2: to understand why this is happening to me. 65 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 1: You must have been so afraid though, too. 66 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:33,679 Speaker 3: Oh yeah. 67 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:38,919 Speaker 1: Yeah, And Carol, I've read that you were a brunette 68 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 1: when when your son was sentenced, but then it was 69 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:47,480 Speaker 1: over a month before you saw him, and that the 70 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:51,000 Speaker 1: stress of that month had turned you gray. 71 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:55,279 Speaker 4: It certainly did a good number on that. Yeah. 72 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 2: The last time I saw my mom in the county jail, 73 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 2: her hair was most liber Yeah. The first time I 74 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 2: saw her in Monard Correctional Center, her hair was white. 75 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 1: What were your biggest fears, Carol? 76 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 4: Just for his safety. Keep in mind, he doesn't look 77 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:16,680 Speaker 4: like it now, but at the time, I think if 78 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,359 Speaker 4: you soak down and down, he might have made one 79 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:26,359 Speaker 4: hundred and thirty pounds and so five eight hundred and 80 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 4: thirty pounds. Yeah, And he wasn't a fighter, He wasn't 81 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,479 Speaker 4: someone who had done any of that sort of thing, 82 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 4: and his sports had been running, swimming, and also there 83 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 4: wasn't any bodybuilding kind of thing at that point. So 84 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:48,359 Speaker 4: fear for his safety and Manard was so far away 85 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,320 Speaker 4: from our home. It was actually a two day trip 86 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 4: for us. We would go part way down and then 87 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 4: after work on Friday and then finish it on Saturday. 88 00:05:57,279 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 4: I see him and then come back. And we had 89 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 4: been advised not to go too often because it would 90 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 4: make the time longer for him if we went too often, 91 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 4: so we tried to go about every six weeks to 92 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 4: visit him, So a lot of time passed during that time. 93 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 4: He was allowed to call us once in a while 94 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:21,800 Speaker 4: collect calls. I ran across the old telephone bills that 95 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 4: showed all the collect calls that he had to make 96 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:25,919 Speaker 4: at that time. 97 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 1: And in those days how expensive those collect calls would 98 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:30,680 Speaker 1: have been. 99 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 4: It was running about sixty dollars a month in phone calls, 100 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 4: and some families I know can't deal with that, And 101 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,839 Speaker 4: we just felt it was necessary to always be there 102 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 4: if we could. 103 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 1: And what was the biggest hardest transition for you, Alan, 104 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:54,919 Speaker 1: What was the most significant hurdle that you remember adjusting 105 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 1: to life in prison? 106 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 5: Oh? 107 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,599 Speaker 2: Man, it's a can of worms, going from the shock 108 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,119 Speaker 2: of being convicted and then being in the county jail 109 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 2: for a month. I very seldom, but occasionally felt like 110 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 2: I was in danger in the county jail getting off 111 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 2: the bus in the Department corrections down in Minard Correctional Center. 112 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 2: They threw me to the wolves. It was a completely 113 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 2: different kind of culture shock. It wasn't a nice, neat 114 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 2: orderly jail where everything ran smoothly. It was a wilderness 115 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:35,120 Speaker 2: that I was dropped into and had to survive. After 116 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 2: being in the receiving area for a period of time, 117 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 2: I was moved into the general population and I moved 118 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 2: into a cell that was empty. When I moved into it, 119 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 2: it was empty and trashed, and so I moved in 120 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 2: and I started cleaning up, and a counselor came by 121 00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 2: prison counselor and introduced himself and said what gang are 122 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 2: you in? And I said, I'm not in a gang. 123 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 2: I'm a neutron. And he said there's no neutrons in 124 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 2: the West House and I said there's one now, and 125 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 2: he said, well, you really should think about finding a 126 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 2: group of friends that you can join up with. So 127 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 2: I was encouraged by a government employee to join a 128 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 2: gang in prison in order to survive. And I had 129 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 2: been discouraged from that by other people who warned me 130 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:42,560 Speaker 2: that that would be tempting and said, if you do that, 131 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:47,719 Speaker 2: you're going to become that gang's send off dummy. If 132 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,199 Speaker 2: you're fighting this case, if you're saying you didn't do it, 133 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,280 Speaker 2: they're going to put a shank in your hand. They're 134 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:55,640 Speaker 2: going to send you after somebody. They're going to use you, 135 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,320 Speaker 2: even though you think that they're helping you survive, They're 136 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 2: going to get you a life sentence for something else. 137 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 2: And so I resisted any temptation to protect myself by 138 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 2: surrounding myself with other people. And at that point I 139 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 2: really began to genuinely and wholeheartedly pursue my relationship with God. 140 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:23,319 Speaker 2: I knew that I had nothing else. I was dead meat. 141 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 2: They intended for my death from this. That's the only 142 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,400 Speaker 2: thing I can calculate from the environment that I was in. 143 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:33,840 Speaker 1: Wow, I want to talk to you about anger, because 144 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: you all must have been so angry. How did you 145 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,680 Speaker 1: harness that anger? How did you keep it from consuming you? 146 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 1: And I know, Alan, you and I had communicated a 147 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 1: little bit that initially it almost derailed you. What did 148 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,080 Speaker 1: anger become for you? 149 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 2: It was never a constructive thing for me throughout the 150 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 2: whole experience. It was the only acceptable emotion that a 151 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:04,680 Speaker 2: man can express in prison. If you express any other 152 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 2: emotion besides anger, you are a bitch. And that's just 153 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:16,199 Speaker 2: the way it is, and so you swallow everything else, 154 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 2: and everything else has to morph into anger in order 155 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 2: to be processed or expressed. And I learned very quickly 156 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:32,320 Speaker 2: to turn off all of those other feelings because they 157 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,640 Speaker 2: were going to get me killed. And I never turned 158 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 2: them back on until I came home. And we'll probably 159 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 2: talk about that's more linking. But for me, I succumbed 160 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 2: to anger as a product of my environment, slowly, seductively, 161 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 2: knowing that was the only emotion I could have, And 162 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,559 Speaker 2: I very much, for the first probably five years, was 163 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,120 Speaker 2: a product of my environment. I started working out, I 164 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,720 Speaker 2: got bigger, I got tougher, I got mouthier, and I 165 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 2: wasn't going to take any crap from anybody, and I 166 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 2: was in some dangerous situations. Fortunately by then I had 167 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 2: adjusted well enough that I could keep a clear head 168 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 2: and navigate those situations. And I truly believe God was 169 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,719 Speaker 2: with me throughout all of this, protecting me. Otherwise I 170 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:23,320 Speaker 2: would be dead. 171 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,920 Speaker 1: Barry and Carol, you've spoken about how you harnessed your 172 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:31,720 Speaker 1: anger and utilized it for activism. But how did you 173 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:37,080 Speaker 1: guys get linked with Jeff Erdangen and ultimately the Northwestern 174 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,520 Speaker 1: University School of Law. 175 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 4: We first went to Jeff in terms of looking for 176 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:47,400 Speaker 4: someone to take the case as far as trying to 177 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 4: overturn it, and he was still in private practice at 178 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:57,719 Speaker 4: that time. So we talked Jeff and he said, I'm interested, 179 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 4: but I have to talk to Alan before or I 180 00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 4: will commit to taking the case. Goes down and sees Alan, 181 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:10,960 Speaker 4: and when he called us later after seeing Alan, he said, 182 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 4: I don't like him, but I believe him. Did you 183 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 4: know that Alan? 184 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,960 Speaker 2: I Jeff came down to visit me with a private 185 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:26,280 Speaker 2: investigator who had been part of law enforcement in the past, 186 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:32,560 Speaker 2: and the two of them proceeded to interrogate me for 187 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:37,280 Speaker 2: the duration of the visit. Jeff would ask some sort 188 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:42,520 Speaker 2: of straightforward questions, and then the cop would provoke me 189 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 2: with questions about that's not what a normal person would 190 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,959 Speaker 2: do if they were asked that question. How come you're 191 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 2: so different? You seem suspicious to me. It just seemed 192 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 2: like this was a test. But at a certain point 193 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 2: I had enough and I said, look, if you guys 194 00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 2: don't believe me. 195 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 3: I don't need you. 196 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:04,800 Speaker 2: And I ended the visit and I went back to 197 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 2: my cell and I thought that was the end of it, 198 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 2: that these were not going to be that Jeffer Dangen 199 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,320 Speaker 2: was not going to be the person that represented me. 200 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:16,720 Speaker 2: And then he went back to Chicago and called my 201 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:20,719 Speaker 2: mom and told her the infamous I don't like him, 202 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 2: but I believe him statement. 203 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 1: And if I'm not mistaken, he didn't just like you. 204 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,840 Speaker 1: He ended up taking your case pro bono. 205 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:33,800 Speaker 2: He did, and to this day he's a very good friend, 206 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:39,400 Speaker 2: a family friend, somebody I still value his advice and 207 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:43,520 Speaker 2: opinion and can't say enough nice about. 208 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,240 Speaker 1: And how did jeff tell you that he was taking 209 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:46,240 Speaker 1: your case pro bono? 210 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,400 Speaker 4: After we'd paid him for several things along the way, 211 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:55,920 Speaker 4: he finally said, you can't afford me, and so that's 212 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,520 Speaker 4: when he kept it pro bono. But the deal was 213 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:02,720 Speaker 4: we were supposed to pay for Julia and for his investigator. 214 00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 4: And then eventually he came to us and said, I've 215 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:11,040 Speaker 4: got a chance to go to Northwestern and they've told 216 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,800 Speaker 4: me I can take along a case or two, and 217 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,600 Speaker 4: I'd like for you to present the people at Northwestern 218 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 4: so he arranged for us to meet with a panel 219 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 4: of students and with Karen Daniel and Chris Jeff. 220 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:29,560 Speaker 1: Then the Center on Wrongful Convictions gets involved. And this 221 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,400 Speaker 1: is probably what I find most infuriating about this case, 222 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: because you have Jeff or Dangen, you have the Northwestern 223 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 1: University Center on Wrongful Convictions, you have at this point 224 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 1: the dream team behind you, and it isn't exactly quickly 225 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 1: unraveled and resolved at that point. 226 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:57,400 Speaker 2: I was in Minard when we filed the post conviction petition, 227 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 2: and I did three and a half years in Stateville, 228 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:06,080 Speaker 2: two years in Mount Sterling, and another couple of years 229 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:09,560 Speaker 2: in Dixon before I had a hearing. So it was 230 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 2: a good like six or seven years before we got 231 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,800 Speaker 2: to being able to have a hearing. What was happening 232 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:20,040 Speaker 2: was we would we would get a date set, and 233 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,160 Speaker 2: the judge would retire, and then we would get a 234 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 2: date set and then the state's attorney that was handling 235 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:29,440 Speaker 2: the case would become a judge. So there were numerous 236 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 2: changes of judges and numerous changes of states attorneys. And 237 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 2: it seems like the way to become a judge in 238 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 2: McLean County is to oppose a wrongful conviction case, whether 239 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:47,760 Speaker 2: it's mine or Jamie Snow or Bart McNeil, if you 240 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,160 Speaker 2: are a state's attorney that is fighting against someone appealing 241 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,520 Speaker 2: a wrongful conviction, you get to be a judge. 242 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 1: And sure enough, your post conviction relief was denied yep 243 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:03,160 Speaker 1: by the McLean County Circuit Court, and your lawyer's appealed 244 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:07,040 Speaker 1: to that decision. Yes, what was the rock bottom moment 245 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 1: for you guys? Each individually? You must have felt like sisyphus, 246 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 1: all of you at that point. 247 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:17,440 Speaker 4: I don't know that it was one time frequently it 248 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:21,160 Speaker 4: would happen. I can say for me personally, it was 249 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:27,320 Speaker 4: early on. Actually, I taught high school and I was 250 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 4: staying late one day for parent conferences, and I walked 251 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,680 Speaker 4: back to my classroom where I was going to hold 252 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 4: my conferences, and there was a big sign on my 253 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 4: door that said murderer's mother for all my parents to see. 254 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 4: That was the rock bottom personally, Carol, I can't even 255 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 4: imagine how that when you just feel like you're being 256 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:59,120 Speaker 4: punched by the system. Yeah, it came to the point 257 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,320 Speaker 4: where I was never sure when Alan was going to 258 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,560 Speaker 4: show up in my classroom. 259 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:07,160 Speaker 1: Alan, what for you was the most difficult part. You 260 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 1: serve time in four different prisons over the course of 261 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 1: the years that you were five. 262 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:18,480 Speaker 2: Really really six, but two of them I was only 263 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 2: in for short periods of time, okay, four that I 264 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:22,680 Speaker 2: was in for longer periods of time. 265 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 1: What got you through? In other words, I know you 266 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:29,600 Speaker 1: said you had to harness anger as a shield, but 267 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:31,879 Speaker 1: how did you stay sane? 268 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 5: Didn't? 269 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:34,959 Speaker 3: I didn't. 270 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 2: That's the fact is that I didn't stay sane. I 271 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,959 Speaker 2: got worse for a while, and while I was in 272 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 2: Stateville Correctional Center, I was almost to the point where 273 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,240 Speaker 2: I was so done with all of it that if 274 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 2: me speaking my mind and getting in somebody's face caused 275 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 2: me to get stabbed to death, so be it. I 276 00:17:56,160 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 2: was done. I was quite irrationally, again a product of 277 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,520 Speaker 2: my environment, and very much in tune with my toxic 278 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:08,040 Speaker 2: masculinity at that time, so much to the point where 279 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:10,639 Speaker 2: I actually went to a gang chief and asked if 280 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 2: I could have a one on one fight with one 281 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,399 Speaker 2: of his guys, because the guy had been talking crazy 282 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 2: to me and they knew me, and they said, beaman, 283 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:21,520 Speaker 2: everybody gets along with you, and we're going to talk 284 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:22,080 Speaker 2: to this guy. 285 00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:24,040 Speaker 3: And he's not going to mess with you anymore. 286 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,639 Speaker 2: And I said okay, and so they talked to him, 287 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 2: and then he did it again a couple days later, 288 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,639 Speaker 2: and I went back to the guy again and I said, okay, 289 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,440 Speaker 2: when can I get that one on one fight? Because 290 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:38,320 Speaker 2: he did not stop. They said, we're going to talk 291 00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:42,399 Speaker 2: to him and that'll be that. And they chewed this 292 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,879 Speaker 2: kid out right in front of everybody, in the middle 293 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:48,679 Speaker 2: of the chow hall. And he wasn't trying to hear it, 294 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,639 Speaker 2: because why are you sticking up for that neutron. You 295 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,720 Speaker 2: should be taking my side. And one of the guys 296 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,840 Speaker 2: stood up and said, fuck it, just let Beaman kick 297 00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 2: his ass and the guy I never said a word 298 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:01,399 Speaker 2: to me again. 299 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 3: That was the end of it. Again. 300 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:07,120 Speaker 2: I should have been dead. God was protecting me and 301 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:11,360 Speaker 2: preparing me for something. It wasn't very long after that 302 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 2: that I was sitting in a bullpen after a visit 303 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,120 Speaker 2: with my parents, waiting to go back to my cell 304 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,040 Speaker 2: and I really had to go to the bathroom, and 305 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,520 Speaker 2: the chapel line was leaving the building and that was 306 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 2: the only way I was going to get to the 307 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,240 Speaker 2: bathroom for the next hour. 308 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:29,360 Speaker 3: So I went to church because I had to peep okay, 309 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 3: such language. 310 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,600 Speaker 2: And I sat in the chapel and I listened to 311 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:37,640 Speaker 2: the chaplain and he was talking sense. So I kept 312 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:41,280 Speaker 2: going every week. As crazy as it is. However, God 313 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:42,679 Speaker 2: is going to get a hold of you. That's how 314 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:46,159 Speaker 2: he's going to do it. And grateful for the fact 315 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,760 Speaker 2: that God reached out to me that way, and that 316 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,960 Speaker 2: I had an opportunity to look at myself and say, 317 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,479 Speaker 2: this is not who I have to be. And at 318 00:19:54,480 --> 00:20:00,360 Speaker 2: that point I was finally able to slowly and progressive lee, 319 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:04,479 Speaker 2: let down my guard and care about another person in 320 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:10,160 Speaker 2: my environment and say, there's more to life than surviving 321 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:13,600 Speaker 2: this hell hole. And I'm going to be a good 322 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:18,120 Speaker 2: person even if it kills me. And I think that's 323 00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 2: I don't get a little tear Europe. 324 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,120 Speaker 3: Sorry, but I. 325 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,840 Speaker 2: Don't know exactly where rock bottom was, but I know 326 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,000 Speaker 2: that's where I started to ascend out of it. 327 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 1: Wow, Thank goodness for a full bladder. 328 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,080 Speaker 3: The problem I have a lot. 329 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:42,040 Speaker 1: It was finding that community, the spiritual community. Yeah, that 330 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,000 Speaker 1: set you free from the anger. 331 00:20:45,720 --> 00:21:02,400 Speaker 5: Yeah. 332 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 1: So on May twenty second, two thousand and eight, the 333 00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:16,080 Speaker 1: Illinois Supreme Court overturned Alan's conviction because the prosecution had 334 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:22,359 Speaker 1: withheld exculpatory evidence that would have been likely to have 335 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:27,840 Speaker 1: changed the jury's verdict of guilty. And after thirteen years 336 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:30,119 Speaker 1: in prison for a murder that you did not commit, 337 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,840 Speaker 1: you walked out of jail on June twenty seventh, two 338 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 1: thousand and eight, wearing a Chicago Bears T shirt, jeans, 339 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,840 Speaker 1: and a baseball hat after posting ten percent of a 340 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:48,879 Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty thousand dollars bond. What emotions did you, 341 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,879 Speaker 1: guys experience in that moment when your eyes first locked 342 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:57,159 Speaker 1: on the other side of those walls? What emotions? 343 00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:57,359 Speaker 3: Just? 344 00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,920 Speaker 4: Wow? 345 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,280 Speaker 3: Is this real? Pinch me? 346 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:08,760 Speaker 4: I can tell you what we did after my brother 347 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:10,800 Speaker 4: and sister in law had come down with us to 348 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:14,520 Speaker 4: pick him up, and we loaded him in the car 349 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:21,920 Speaker 4: and we stopped at Denny's. Denny's he ordered a steak 350 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:26,400 Speaker 4: and was shocked when they gave him a real knife. 351 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:32,080 Speaker 4: And cell phones had come into being at that. 352 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,280 Speaker 3: And our cell phones were ringing off the. 353 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,440 Speaker 4: Wall and they were flip phones, of course, just passing 354 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 4: phones around the car for him to talk on to 355 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:45,480 Speaker 4: different people. And then we stopped at a wayside and 356 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:51,000 Speaker 4: there was a swing set at the wayside and he 357 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:57,080 Speaker 4: had to go swing on the swing set. So every 358 00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,840 Speaker 4: time I see the picture of that, I tear up. 359 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:06,399 Speaker 1: Alan. You just take me to that moment, your feet 360 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,720 Speaker 1: hitting the ground outside. 361 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaker 3: You know. 362 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:13,400 Speaker 2: I think at that point there was no like Catharsis 363 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 2: or it was just Wow, this is awesome, and I'm 364 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,879 Speaker 2: loving every minute of this. And I don't know what 365 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,840 Speaker 2: happened that day. I was on my phone the whole time. 366 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 2: It was a phone call after a phone call after 367 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,240 Speaker 2: a phone call, of all the people that were calling, 368 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I heard, and I didn't really process 369 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,920 Speaker 2: until we got home and they were pressed at my 370 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,959 Speaker 2: house and I did a brief interview there and then 371 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,240 Speaker 2: everybody went to bed and it was just me and 372 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:43,440 Speaker 2: I stayed up all night just experiencing the first time 373 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,199 Speaker 2: I could just Oh, I can go outside. Oh I 374 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,400 Speaker 2: can go over to the fridge and make a sandwich. 375 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,439 Speaker 2: I can play with the dog. Oh I can go 376 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,280 Speaker 2: back outside again. 377 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:58,320 Speaker 1: All the things that seemed so obvious and simple before. 378 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the little thing we take so much for 379 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 2: granted from just ordinary life. And so I just experienced 380 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,840 Speaker 2: those all night, and I watched the sunrise and then 381 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,639 Speaker 2: promptly began complaining about the price of gas and the 382 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:16,200 Speaker 2: speed of my internet. 383 00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:19,200 Speaker 1: But even on top of that, in many ways, you're out, 384 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 1: But the nightmare is not over, not at all. Still, Yeah, 385 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:29,120 Speaker 1: you still remain charged with Jennifer's murder. Yes, and the 386 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 1: office of McLean County State's Attorney announced that it intended 387 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 1: to retry you. Yeah, that must have been such an 388 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,680 Speaker 1: emotional roller coaster for you all. 389 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:44,119 Speaker 2: I knew that was the deal from the moment I 390 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:47,119 Speaker 2: was heading back to the county jail. I knew that 391 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 2: I was bonding out. I wasn't exonerated. I was bonding 392 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:57,199 Speaker 2: out to be retried. But there was a lot of 393 00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 2: hope in this because now we've got this momentum of 394 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,359 Speaker 2: investigative power. All the stuff I've been trying for the 395 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:07,199 Speaker 2: last thirteen years to get them to test the damn DNA, 396 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,919 Speaker 2: trying to get them to follow up on leads that 397 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,800 Speaker 2: never got followed. I've been trying to just get a 398 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:20,320 Speaker 2: real honest evidentiary review and some real honest detective work 399 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:24,439 Speaker 2: out of these people. And now I have investigative power 400 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:28,919 Speaker 2: and they have to let me do it. And to 401 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 2: this day, I believe that's why they dropped the charges. 402 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:36,920 Speaker 2: They did it right after the judge that was handling 403 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:40,080 Speaker 2: the case appeared to agree that we were going to 404 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 2: be allowed to test all that DNA BAM charges dropped Yep. 405 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,360 Speaker 1: On January twenty ninth, two thousand and nine, all charges 406 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:51,359 Speaker 1: against you were dropped. Yes, and then you filed for 407 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:58,000 Speaker 1: petition for a certificate of innocence Yes. What became your 408 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,600 Speaker 1: family's new driving motivation at that point? 409 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:06,359 Speaker 2: And why I've been out long enough that the immediate 410 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:11,280 Speaker 2: elation and feeling of being on cloud nine has begun 411 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:17,080 Speaker 2: to fade, and I'm dealing with post traumatic stress disorder. 412 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,440 Speaker 3: I'm dealing with the I've. 413 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:24,480 Speaker 2: Now turned the valve on, so all those emotions that 414 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:29,440 Speaker 2: I had turned off and I'm trying to process them. 415 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:33,240 Speaker 2: And what happens if I feel just one small grain 416 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:37,240 Speaker 2: of grief, All of the grief that I've been storing 417 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 2: up for the last thirteen years comes out all at once, 418 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:45,400 Speaker 2: and I realized I need to get help, and so we're, yeah, 419 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:49,960 Speaker 2: we're pursuing these continuing legal remedies, but I'm also going 420 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:54,040 Speaker 2: to therapy. I'm seeing a psychiatrist, I'm on zoloft. I'm 421 00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,880 Speaker 2: just trying to figure out who I am again, because 422 00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:01,160 Speaker 2: I've stored up thirteen years of this cookie cutter imagination 423 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,240 Speaker 2: of what life is supposed to be like after I 424 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:06,959 Speaker 2: get out, and oh, my gosh, that's not what life 425 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,240 Speaker 2: is like after I get out. 426 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,560 Speaker 1: I think it's so incredible that you were able to 427 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,919 Speaker 1: do the work that you needed to do at that point, 428 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,199 Speaker 1: and that you had the wherewithal to understand that you 429 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:23,520 Speaker 1: needed to do it. Look, it had been what four thousand, 430 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,040 Speaker 1: eight hundred and thirty six days. You went in when 431 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,600 Speaker 1: you were twenty twenty two, you got out when you 432 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:37,440 Speaker 1: were thirty six. It's got to be beyond surreal. 433 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,439 Speaker 2: I think some of it was surreal and some of 434 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,320 Speaker 2: it was too real. It's like the reverse of prison. 435 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:46,680 Speaker 2: The first year is the hardest, right The first year 436 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:50,040 Speaker 2: in prison is it just completely tears you down and 437 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:54,320 Speaker 2: undoes your humanity. And then after that you're just numb 438 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:58,959 Speaker 2: and you're just doing time. And after release that first 439 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:05,919 Speaker 2: probably the four months was just absolutely wonderful and everybody's 440 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,520 Speaker 2: so happy to see me, and oh my gosh, isn't 441 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,920 Speaker 2: it great. I'm not in prison And every day that's 442 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,960 Speaker 2: what's at the forefront of my thoughts, I'm not in prison, right, 443 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,840 Speaker 2: And slowly you get into real life and you start 444 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,040 Speaker 2: to take some things for granted, and every now and 445 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,000 Speaker 2: then I just be driving and I'm in traffic, and 446 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,600 Speaker 2: I'm a little annoyed, and then I suddenly realize I'm 447 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:26,879 Speaker 2: not in prison, and I have a nice day. But 448 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:33,439 Speaker 2: as the hyper alertness started to develop for me, and 449 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:36,040 Speaker 2: I'm aware of every cop that's anywhere near me, and 450 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,200 Speaker 2: I'm aware of anybody that looked at me cross eyed, 451 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:43,560 Speaker 2: and people have criticized me openly in different forms of media, 452 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,320 Speaker 2: and I have lost a job because someone thinks I'm 453 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:51,000 Speaker 2: a murderer, and it starts to set in that I'm 454 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:56,680 Speaker 2: not free. I'm still being victimized by this same system, 455 00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 2: and I still have to continue to fight to clear 456 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:01,080 Speaker 2: my name. 457 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 3: And that's the COI. 458 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:05,880 Speaker 1: A certificate of innocence, right. 459 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:11,040 Speaker 2: I think at a certain point, I my my trauma 460 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:16,880 Speaker 2: and my poor functioning because of it made it really 461 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:22,400 Speaker 2: difficult to xigneries. We're really it's really hard to love us, 462 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:26,920 Speaker 2: not because you don't see something awesome in us, but 463 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:32,040 Speaker 2: because we're sometimes stuck in this trauma and you take 464 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:40,040 Speaker 2: this long term suffering that is pushed way down deep 465 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,600 Speaker 2: inside of you, and it's and I'm not taking anything 466 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:45,640 Speaker 2: away from veterans or anything like that, they were in 467 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:49,840 Speaker 2: some place even more dangerous for less time, and I 468 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:54,120 Speaker 2: was in some place that was also dangerous for more time. 469 00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:58,840 Speaker 2: And so I really equate it to being similar, but 470 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:04,720 Speaker 2: a completely different versi of that same PTSD, where I 471 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:08,000 Speaker 2: think it takes longer to unravel it, and it's not 472 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:14,320 Speaker 2: as easily noticed, and it's certainly not as publicly supported 473 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,239 Speaker 2: to have trauma from prison as it is to have 474 00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,479 Speaker 2: fought for your country Again. I started getting help, and 475 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,880 Speaker 2: the charges got dropped and we began pursuing the certificate 476 00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:26,680 Speaker 2: of innocence. And it was just a couple of months 477 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:31,400 Speaker 2: after the charges were dropped that I met Gretchen at church. 478 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 1: You're listening to Wrongful Conviction with Lauren Bright Pacheco. You 479 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,920 Speaker 1: can listen to this and all the Lava for Good 480 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:45,920 Speaker 1: podcasts one week early and ad free by subscribing to 481 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:53,400 Speaker 1: Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. One of the 482 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:58,640 Speaker 1: things that I love most about your story, Alan and 483 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:06,640 Speaker 1: your experiences that it has not a happy ending, but 484 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,960 Speaker 1: the best possible ending in many ways, and part of 485 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,440 Speaker 1: that is the fact that you have a beautiful family 486 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:16,959 Speaker 1: now of your own, that you had your family supporting 487 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:21,600 Speaker 1: you throughout your incarceration. But you met your lovely wife, 488 00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:26,000 Speaker 1: Gretchen two years after you were out, or you met 489 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:29,480 Speaker 1: you married two years after. Okay, so you tell me 490 00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:32,760 Speaker 1: how you two first crossed paths and. 491 00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:37,440 Speaker 6: Where it was at church. It was a youth group 492 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:42,640 Speaker 6: fundraiser and I was there with my daughter was she's 493 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 6: six five, and Alan walked in the door and he 494 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:53,760 Speaker 6: walked past, and he had just been repainting or something, 495 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:57,160 Speaker 6: and so he had on this red and black flannel 496 00:31:57,280 --> 00:32:01,320 Speaker 6: jacket and he was covered in paint and he walked past, 497 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 6: and I said, oh, he's cute, and didn't realize who 498 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,560 Speaker 6: he was. I had semi followed his story. Then he 499 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:14,040 Speaker 6: sat with his parents and they were facing me, and 500 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,120 Speaker 6: I was like, why did they look familiar to me? 501 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:18,400 Speaker 6: And then it clicked. I was like, oh, my god, 502 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,959 Speaker 6: that's Alan Beeman. And I had my daughter, I'm like 503 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,400 Speaker 6: scooch over and I took a picture of the back 504 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:26,360 Speaker 6: of his head and sent it to my friend. 505 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,120 Speaker 1: Not knowing you were photographing your future hust correct. 506 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:31,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, she's not telling the whole story there. 507 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 1: Go ahead, but I want to hear from your point 508 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:33,160 Speaker 1: of view. 509 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:37,600 Speaker 2: Then, So I noticed her that night as a cute 510 00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,920 Speaker 2: chick I hadn't seen before at church, and she was 511 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:44,640 Speaker 2: wearing a Bear's hoodie, and we've already established that's important 512 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:48,680 Speaker 2: to me. And our daughter, Alana was five at the 513 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,840 Speaker 2: time and we hadn't met yet. Gretchen looked very young. 514 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,040 Speaker 2: People will still always say that. When she tells people 515 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 2: her age, they're like, oh, you didn't. You don't look 516 00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:00,720 Speaker 2: that old. And so I wasn't sure if she was 517 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:04,880 Speaker 2: a single mom or a sister. So I just noticed 518 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:09,040 Speaker 2: her and that was about it. And then Alana said 519 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:12,200 Speaker 2: mom and about something, and then I was like, okay, 520 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:16,200 Speaker 2: that's a mom. And a week or so later, the 521 00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:20,000 Speaker 2: church newsletter released new member pictures and I see a 522 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,080 Speaker 2: picture of her in that, and she's wearing a different 523 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:29,000 Speaker 2: Bears hoodie. So I'm like, Okay, she's the real deal. 524 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:33,480 Speaker 2: She's got two of them, and I could tell from 525 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:36,880 Speaker 2: reading the bio that she might be available. And I 526 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:40,600 Speaker 2: was just bold and audacious enough and curious enough that 527 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:44,120 Speaker 2: I decided to send her a Facebook friend request. I 528 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:48,920 Speaker 2: had just started on Facebook because the charges had been dropped, 529 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,600 Speaker 2: and I decided it's time to put myself out there 530 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:57,040 Speaker 2: and experience the world and dove headfirst into social media, 531 00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:00,720 Speaker 2: which I'm glad I did because I'm my wife. 532 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:05,360 Speaker 1: Did you have any concerns or reservations, Gretchen, I know 533 00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:08,719 Speaker 1: that you did a little bit of your own inquiring 534 00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:09,360 Speaker 1: about Alan. 535 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,560 Speaker 6: Yeah. So I live in Rockford, so where I grew 536 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:17,000 Speaker 6: up most of my life. So I saw the articles 537 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:20,200 Speaker 6: in the paper, and I saw the news segments on 538 00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,759 Speaker 6: TV and everything. I wasn't like, oh my god, let 539 00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:26,200 Speaker 6: me research this guy. I just knew of him. And 540 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:31,920 Speaker 6: then after he got released in June, I was working 541 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,399 Speaker 6: at a local credit union and we had an older 542 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,000 Speaker 6: lady who came in and I was reading the newspaper 543 00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:41,600 Speaker 6: and it said Alan Beeman was released, and I made 544 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,720 Speaker 6: a comment and Maggie was like, Ah, I know Alan, 545 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,399 Speaker 6: I've known him since he was this big and oh 546 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:48,279 Speaker 6: he never did it. 547 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:48,799 Speaker 5: I know. 548 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,440 Speaker 6: I've believed in his innocence from the beginning. And so 549 00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:56,160 Speaker 6: that was really the first person that I had met 550 00:34:56,200 --> 00:35:00,480 Speaker 6: that knew him and said good things about him, and 551 00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:05,680 Speaker 6: I believed in his innocence from reading everything I had read. 552 00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:08,319 Speaker 6: I didn't grow up the same way Alan did. I 553 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:12,960 Speaker 6: grew up in a housing project, and I saw injustice 554 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:16,680 Speaker 6: happen all of the time, and I saw police come 555 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:19,720 Speaker 6: in and arrest a black person just because they were 556 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:24,160 Speaker 6: by the crime that happened. And so I grew up 557 00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:29,120 Speaker 6: not believing that the police always were right and did 558 00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:32,959 Speaker 6: the correct thing. So after I met Alan and knew 559 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,840 Speaker 6: of his case, it was, of course this could happen. 560 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:36,880 Speaker 3: Of course it could. 561 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:38,280 Speaker 6: I've seen it happen. 562 00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:44,120 Speaker 1: That's so interesting. So it was for you confirmation in 563 00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:48,600 Speaker 1: many ways of what you knew, unfortunately to be true. 564 00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:52,840 Speaker 1: And for Alan's family it was a very rude awakening 565 00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:58,320 Speaker 1: into the injustices that many other sections of our society 566 00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:04,840 Speaker 1: face on a daily basis. I love that in your union, 567 00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:09,719 Speaker 1: in your marriage, you in a way got some of 568 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:16,200 Speaker 1: that lost time back, Alan, because you had your beautiful daughter, 569 00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:21,319 Speaker 1: Alana already, and then you too, welcomed Adelaide shortly after 570 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,640 Speaker 1: you guys married two years, I guess. 571 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:25,400 Speaker 6: Yeah, two years and will you just a year and 572 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:25,800 Speaker 6: a half. 573 00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:27,600 Speaker 1: Year and a half, will you tell me her full name? 574 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:29,920 Speaker 1: And the importance of one of those. 575 00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:36,600 Speaker 2: Names, so I wanted to name her Liberty and Gretchen 576 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,840 Speaker 2: wasn't having it, and her name needed to start with 577 00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:43,040 Speaker 2: an A, because that's just she wanted to keep the 578 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,799 Speaker 2: pattern for some reason. And we settled on Adelaide, but 579 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,560 Speaker 2: I really still wanted to name her Liberty, and I 580 00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:51,680 Speaker 2: got her to concede that if she was born on 581 00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:54,640 Speaker 2: the fourth of July, because she was due on like 582 00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,200 Speaker 2: the tenth or the twelfth, then we would do that, 583 00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:01,920 Speaker 2: but otherwise not, And so she was born on the twelfth, 584 00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:08,960 Speaker 2: and she was born on the twelfth, and they handed 585 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:12,960 Speaker 2: me the paperwork for the birth certificate and I wrote 586 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:19,120 Speaker 2: Adelaide Jeane Liberty Beamon on the birth certificate, and I 587 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,880 Speaker 2: handed it to Gretchen and I said, you can cross 588 00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:26,960 Speaker 2: off anything you want to, and she glared at me 589 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,680 Speaker 2: over her eyes. I rolled her eyes yes, and handed 590 00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:37,800 Speaker 2: the clipboard back to me and said, fine. 591 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:38,839 Speaker 1: Your husband said that exoneries are very difficult to love. 592 00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:42,640 Speaker 6: I wouldn't say that. He might say that, but I 593 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:44,279 Speaker 6: wouldn't say those words. 594 00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:48,920 Speaker 1: But you've seen what he's had to go through to 595 00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,960 Speaker 1: be the husband and the father that he wants to be. 596 00:37:54,680 --> 00:38:01,279 Speaker 1: How would you explain to people the residual impact that 597 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:07,360 Speaker 1: the wrongful conviction has had on your husband emotionally. What 598 00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:12,520 Speaker 1: are the challenges that people couldn't even possible comprehend or see. 599 00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:17,320 Speaker 6: It's really simple things that a normal person that hasn't 600 00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,560 Speaker 6: been through this experience, they just would never do something 601 00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:22,520 Speaker 6: like that. We went out to have some drinks with 602 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:26,200 Speaker 6: friends and the beer bottle was left on the table, 603 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,720 Speaker 6: and he's, like, my DNA's on that. If somebody comes 604 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,960 Speaker 6: after me to the bar and gets in a fight 605 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,160 Speaker 6: and picks up that beer bottle and hits somebody over 606 00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,759 Speaker 6: the head with them and kills them, my fingerprint is 607 00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:40,520 Speaker 6: on that. So it's things like that you just don't 608 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,080 Speaker 6: that you don't think of. And like his gum, he 609 00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:45,959 Speaker 6: would even throw a gum away in a garbage can 610 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:48,439 Speaker 6: just because his DNA's on it. 611 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:54,399 Speaker 1: And suddenly, if you've been in a situation where you 612 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:58,680 Speaker 1: were convicted of something you didn't do, you're going to 613 00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,320 Speaker 1: go out of your way to make were that can't 614 00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:06,760 Speaker 1: happen again, even though you can't control everything. 615 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:08,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was. 616 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,560 Speaker 2: I went to my therapist's office and I was in 617 00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:15,239 Speaker 2: the waiting room and she had magazines sitting in the office, 618 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:20,239 Speaker 2: and it was obvious the address labels showed that she 619 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:28,400 Speaker 2: brought them from home, and I told my therapist, if 620 00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:33,360 Speaker 2: something ever happened to you, they could argue that I 621 00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:38,319 Speaker 2: had access to your address through the address labels on 622 00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:41,080 Speaker 2: the magazines you have in your office. The next week, 623 00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:44,160 Speaker 2: I came in and all the address labels were torn 624 00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,800 Speaker 2: off of the magazines. And that's what we used to 625 00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:48,839 Speaker 2: have to use to do in prison. When you got 626 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:50,920 Speaker 2: mail from your loved ones, you tore the reach for 627 00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:53,240 Speaker 2: an addresses off them and flushed them down the toilet 628 00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:55,520 Speaker 2: because you didn't want your fellow inmates to get a 629 00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:59,880 Speaker 2: hold of your family's address. It's just you're constantly aware 630 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:05,680 Speaker 2: of all of these potential dangers you shouldn't have to 631 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:10,239 Speaker 2: worry about. And I'll tell you, I make myself throw 632 00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:14,160 Speaker 2: things in a public garbage can because I just I 633 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,759 Speaker 2: can't do it anymore. I have to be free, and I. 634 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,200 Speaker 1: Have to that's your immersion therapy, and. 635 00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:23,160 Speaker 2: It's terrifying, and it's yeah, wow. 636 00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:26,680 Speaker 6: On another day to day basis, all of our kids' friends, 637 00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:30,560 Speaker 6: we've had to let them know because we don't feel 638 00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,920 Speaker 6: comfortable with them being in our house unless they know 639 00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,560 Speaker 6: his story, and we just don't want it to be 640 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:40,320 Speaker 6: a surprise to them, because some people believe that he 641 00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:44,240 Speaker 6: has a certificate of innocence and he's innocent. Other people 642 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:47,040 Speaker 6: believe the cops arrested him, so he must be guilty. 643 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:53,959 Speaker 2: Both of my daughters have had friends whose parents took 644 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,960 Speaker 2: one look at me and said, wait a minutes, I'm 645 00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,640 Speaker 2: not sure if I want my kid around your kid. 646 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,720 Speaker 1: I would sincerely hope, in light of most recent news, 647 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:11,200 Speaker 1: that is completely gone at this point, because in January, I. 648 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:13,239 Speaker 3: Know it's not, but you would think it would be. So. 649 00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:18,120 Speaker 1: In January of twenty fifteen, the then Governor Pat Quinn 650 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:24,920 Speaker 1: pardoned Alan based on actual innocence, which cleared the path 651 00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:30,160 Speaker 1: for long overdue accountability in the form of compensation, which 652 00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:37,800 Speaker 1: in March of twenty twenty four finally happened the town 653 00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:44,000 Speaker 1: of Normal. The Normal Town Council settled the lawsuit in 654 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:48,040 Speaker 1: your favor to the tune of five point four million. 655 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:57,320 Speaker 1: What more could anybody ask for in terms of knowing 656 00:41:58,120 --> 00:41:59,799 Speaker 1: beyond a shadow of a doubt. 657 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:03,520 Speaker 2: This latest development, with the civil suit and the settlement 658 00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:07,319 Speaker 2: for that, you would think that's enough. But this is 659 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:12,399 Speaker 2: how powerful the word of just one police officer is. 660 00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:16,200 Speaker 2: In the United States, of America. This is how powerful 661 00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,600 Speaker 2: the word of one state's attorney, you know, when this 662 00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:26,200 Speaker 2: person who has public recognition for being an officer of 663 00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:29,000 Speaker 2: the law says I think it was him that did it. 664 00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,799 Speaker 2: There are still people, in spite of all of that evidence, 665 00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:41,600 Speaker 2: that can't get behind the reasonable conclusion that I was 666 00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:45,960 Speaker 2: framed and that I was railroaded, and that I was 667 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:50,360 Speaker 2: wrongfully convicted, and that I am absolutely entitled to my 668 00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:59,600 Speaker 2: liberty and my family is absolutely entitled to their dignity. 669 00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:08,200 Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to Wrongful Conviction. I'm Lauren Bright Pacheco. 670 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,640 Speaker 1: Please support your local innocence organizations and go to the 671 00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:14,600 Speaker 1: links in the episode description to see how you can help. 672 00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:18,920 Speaker 1: I'd like to thank our executive producers Jason Flam, Jeff Kempler, 673 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:22,760 Speaker 1: and Kevin Wardis, as well as our producers Annie Chelsea, 674 00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:27,440 Speaker 1: Kathleen Fink, and Jackie Pauley. This series is produced, edited, 675 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,920 Speaker 1: and hosted by me Lauren Bright Pacheco. Our senior producer 676 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:35,279 Speaker 1: is Kara Kornhaber. Story editing by Hannah Biel, research by 677 00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:39,560 Speaker 1: Shelby Sorels, mixing and sound design by Nick Massetti, with 678 00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:43,480 Speaker 1: additional production by Jeff Clyborne. Our theme music is by 679 00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:46,640 Speaker 1: Jay Ralph. Be sure to follow us across all social 680 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:50,400 Speaker 1: media platforms at Lava for Good and at Wrongful Conviction. 681 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,560 Speaker 1: You can also follow me on all platforms at Lauren 682 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,920 Speaker 1: Bright Pacheco. Wrongful Conviction is a production of Lava for 683 00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:04,640 Speaker 1: Good Podcasts in association with Signal come Pany Number one