1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: My husband keeps asking for extra food, and I'm suspicious 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:08,040 Speaker 1: about who he's giving it to. Riley, Who would Opee's 3 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 1: husband have to give this extra food too for you 4 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:12,120 Speaker 1: to be like divorce worthy. 5 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 2: Hopefully he's given it to the orphans. 6 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:16,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, orphans. Oh yeah, So if Opie's husband is giving 7 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:18,680 Speaker 1: it to the orphans, Riley is like, now those orphans 8 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: deserve to start. 9 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,439 Speaker 3: Yeah, you got, you got the government. What am I 10 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 3: putting my tax dollars into? 11 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 1: I hope orphan feeding? Hmm are the orphans being fed? 12 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 1: I don't know. Let us know in the comments, all right, 13 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,400 Speaker 1: so let's go into it. I'm on a throwaway account 14 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:37,360 Speaker 1: because I still haven't fully decided on divorce, but I'm 15 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: ninety five percent sure of it. Me female twenty six 16 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,760 Speaker 1: and my husband mail twenty five, and I've been married 17 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,519 Speaker 1: for almost two years and have a six month old baby. 18 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 1: I work part time only to supplement our income and 19 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: to pay for the legal process of getting him documented, 20 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 1: which I guess he's out of the country. So we 21 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: are very fortunate that it seems to maybe be an 22 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: easy process of maybe two years max for his residency. 23 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,280 Speaker 1: But now I'm going to cancel everything and ask for 24 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: a divorce. Why though, Why, Let's see, my routine used 25 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,199 Speaker 1: to be that I wake up one and a half 26 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 1: hours before him in the morning and make him lunch 27 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: and pack everything for him for work and have his breakfast, 28 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,199 Speaker 1: coffee and clothes ready for him to wake up, eat, 29 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,840 Speaker 1: get dressed and head out within thirty minutes. Wow, what 30 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 1: a wife. That is very nice of you, very considerate, 31 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: very considerate. 32 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 2: My grandma does that from my grandpa. 33 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:28,120 Speaker 1: That's really cute. 34 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, Southern hospitality. 35 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: My grandpa does that for my grandma. 36 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 2: Wow, that's really nice. Hopefully I can do that. 37 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 1: For your wife. Yeah. I think you would be really 38 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:38,040 Speaker 1: good at it. 39 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,480 Speaker 3: She'd be like, h makes lots of money, and I 40 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 3: can just do podcasts from home, and I'd just like 41 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 3: make a little lunches. 42 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,319 Speaker 1: And then and write little notes on the bag and 43 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: put like Riley Hart on the lunch bag. 44 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 3: Like peel her orange tangerine for her. 45 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, put it in a little baggy. Yeah yeah, 46 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: and like like give it like a little smooches on 47 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 1: the cart inside. 48 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 2: Put lipstick on. 49 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: Yep. All right. So he used to be satisfied with 50 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 1: what I packed him, freshly made chicken, it was either honey, 51 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 1: buffalo lemon, pepper and salad, or some or some sort 52 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 1: of chicken wraps, et cetera, pure healthy food. I did 53 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 1: this because I wanted to make his life easier and 54 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 1: show him I cared and love him, and I've done 55 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 1: this since we first moved in together more than three 56 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:21,360 Speaker 1: years ago. She sounds like a keeper. What did you 57 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:24,799 Speaker 1: do to fuck up Opie's husband? Well, recently, I've had 58 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: to start including dinner leftovers because he started asking for 59 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 1: more food and that he was still hungry afterwards, which 60 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 1: I thought was odd because no matter if I were 61 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 1: or not, he always comes home to prepared food, so 62 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: even if he wasn't full, you'd be okay. But he 63 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 1: explained it off with maybe he's bulking or something. Yeah, yeah, 64 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 1: I mean it is bulking season. We're going into winter. 65 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 1: You gotta put on some extra layers the winter arc 66 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:53,239 Speaker 1: put big protein in the cups. If you're trying to 67 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 1: see us beefuck this winner. It'll be some big beefy 68 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: bears going in hibernating, eating all those acorns fruits the 69 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 1: beers eat. They'll see blueberries, Yeah, they do, little tin 70 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 1: of blueberries, one at a time, too, so I started 71 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 1: including what I normally take to work, which has caused 72 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: me to either go without lunch having to wait till 73 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 1: after work, or be late for work because I have 74 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,680 Speaker 1: to wait till the food is ready and take some 75 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 1: because I'm breastfeeding and can't miss eating every time. She's 76 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 1: really sacrificing so much, so making this extra food is like, 77 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 1: actually much harder. I'll leave food going, such as in 78 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: a crock pot or low heat, depending how long after 79 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 1: I leave he gets home. Well, last week I was 80 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 1: packing his lunch and I found a unrecognized second fork 81 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 1: in his lunchbox and was thrown off. So I asked, 82 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 1: and he said he found it in the kitchen of 83 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: his work and brought it home. Odd why didn't he 84 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: just leave it? And I noticed some small changes at 85 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 1: him that I gaslighted myself into being insecure about because 86 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 1: I had just had a baby. But this made the 87 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 1: pit of my stomach churn. But I see you in 88 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: the comments if you think you know where this is going. 89 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 1: So a few days later I decided to go to 90 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,880 Speaker 1: his work during lunch to surprise him with desserts and 91 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 1: for him to see the baby. Oh fuck, well that 92 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 1: was when I found out why he wanted more food 93 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: his coworker, he told me no longer worked there. Who 94 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:22,479 Speaker 1: I'd caught him talking, oh too friendly too, And I 95 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: told him it bothered me, and I had him removed 96 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 1: from everything and block on WhatsApp. Not only still worked there, 97 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 1: but was eating the lunch I freshly prepared for him, 98 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 1: and he was eating her leftovers. Red flag, Yeah, a 99 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: whole army of red flags. Yeah, wave that red flag, 100 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:45,599 Speaker 1: the red microphone. That's so bad. The fact, like, it's 101 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,360 Speaker 1: not bad to eat lunch with your coworker, right, but 102 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 1: it is bad to lie about your coworker working there, 103 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 1: and said you blocked her on all accounts, and now 104 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 1: you're hanging out with her. And also there's something like 105 00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:00,839 Speaker 1: weird about eating someone else's leftovers, like ye, an intimate 106 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,840 Speaker 1: thing that is, there's this girl that offered Riley her 107 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: leftovers today actually to us, to us, to Riley specifically, 108 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: and Riley blushed. Is like me, me, I. 109 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 3: Have a few more buds left on on Marina Burrito. 110 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: Just anything's getting he's getting he's getting caught up, he's 111 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,640 Speaker 1: getting caught up, he's getting all flustered. 112 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 2: I denied, said, I'm good. 113 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 1: And she's like, I'm a cheerleader. 114 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 3: She did with six concussions, and. 115 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:29,520 Speaker 1: Then Riley is like, maybe I can throw you up 116 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 1: and down. 117 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 3: I was kind of down, like if you were down 118 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 3: like a fosser up and see what she could do. 119 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: I would like to see like a flip. That would 120 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 1: be cool. So I didn't cause a scene. Instead took 121 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 1: pictures and added to my folder of everything he's done before, 122 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:45,120 Speaker 1: from simple hearting other girl stories. After telling me he 123 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,479 Speaker 1: didn't do it to naked pictures of a co worker 124 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 1: from a previous job that he got fired from because 125 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: of her, Like he sent naked pictures to a coworker 126 00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 1: or received. 127 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 3: Tell me he didn't to naked pictures of a work 128 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 3: I think of a coworker. 129 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 1: He got the newdies, but he got fired from that 130 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: job because of her. 131 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:05,920 Speaker 2: Probably didn't work out. 132 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:09,600 Speaker 1: Wow. I drove home crying to packing my things when 133 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,279 Speaker 1: I got home, and I took the bassinette and anything 134 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,600 Speaker 1: i'd need for the baby and my essentials and went 135 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: to my sister and brother in law's and told them 136 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,279 Speaker 1: everything and even showed him our conversations from WhatsApp where 137 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 1: he told me she no longer worked there. Wow. Also 138 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,159 Speaker 1: such a terrible lie and such an easy one to 139 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: find out, like she literally still works there. His wife 140 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:30,840 Speaker 1: could go to his office anytime, yeah and find that out. 141 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,320 Speaker 1: Terrible liar do I normally text him through the day, 142 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,560 Speaker 1: so we started texting me and calling me to see 143 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,839 Speaker 1: if I was okay and what was for dinner. The 144 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: fucking balls on this guy to be caught basically cheating 145 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 1: in in a lie and be like, boob, hope everything's 146 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: okay cause I'm fucking hungry. What are you making me? 147 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 1: Let it be warm when I get home? What a doe. 148 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:53,719 Speaker 2: Wow. 149 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 1: He was almost acting if everything was okay, and then 150 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 1: he got to the house an hour earlier than usual, 151 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 1: which also has me questions if he's been lying about 152 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 1: what time he gets off too. And saw mine and 153 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 1: the baby's things gone and my letter that he had 154 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 1: seven days to leave my house my mom gave it 155 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,400 Speaker 1: to me when I was twenty, and that he can 156 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,480 Speaker 1: communicate with my mother to see the baby when I'm 157 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 1: at work or whenever he wants to see her, just 158 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: let her know and I'll drop off the baby with her. 159 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:21,440 Speaker 1: I for the time being don't want anything to do 160 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 1: with him, and I left the printed photos of them 161 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 1: eating lunch, laughing together under the letter Oh that's spicy, 162 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:28,680 Speaker 1: that's spicy. 163 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 2: Yikes. Caught red handed. 164 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: Caught red handed. Yeah, and in the lie, it's like, 165 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 1: it's not like bad that he had lunch with a coworker, 166 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 1: but the fact that he lied about all of that 167 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 1: is super sus, super sus. Later that night, when I 168 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,960 Speaker 1: decided I no longer wanted anything to do with him, 169 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 1: I informed the lawyer. We had a group WhatsApp chat 170 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 1: with me, him, the lawyer, paralegal, and my brother in law, 171 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 1: our co sponsor, that I no longer was going to 172 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 1: need his services, and then message the lawyer privately to 173 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 1: ask if I could maybe move our contract and then 174 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: money I paid so far over his divorce in family practice. 175 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: He said, unfortunately, no, there's some clause or something that 176 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,400 Speaker 1: if we decide to no longer pursue the case, we 177 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,480 Speaker 1: lose the money we've invested, and also that his immigration 178 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 1: practice is a partnership with different people than his family one. 179 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: But he will just leave our case open until we 180 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 1: get a response or an ex appointment from the government, 181 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: and if we haven't worked things out by then, then 182 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 1: he will cancel everything. Well, this caused him to go 183 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,520 Speaker 1: insane because now if he doesn't get papers, he has 184 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 1: to choose between his daughter and parents, either risk never 185 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 1: seeing his parents and family again or never seeing his 186 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 1: daughter again if he goes over there, right because it's 187 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 1: like if he basically what happens if if he's undocumented 188 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:43,080 Speaker 1: right now, I guess so he can stay in the 189 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: country illegally, but if he ever leaves, he won't be 190 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,320 Speaker 1: allowed back in, so he won't be able to see 191 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,680 Speaker 1: his parents back home. He won't be able to see 192 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: his daughter if he leaves, but if he doesn't leave, 193 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 1: he won't be able to see his parents back home. 194 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,559 Speaker 1: Where are you choosing your daughter or your parents daughter? 195 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've already spent enough time with my parents. 196 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,200 Speaker 2: I got it raised next generation. 197 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 1: And he got zoom. Do you guys you can give 198 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,320 Speaker 1: him a phone call. He's begging me to the point 199 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,320 Speaker 1: I blocked him on everything. He's come to my brother 200 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,600 Speaker 1: in law's house and been told to leave or we 201 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:13,200 Speaker 1: are calling the police. Then he later came back drunk 202 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 1: with his buddies, who then were all scared off by 203 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 1: my brother in law and his shotgun. This is Opie's 204 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 1: husband's brother and the brother in law is like, get 205 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:26,360 Speaker 1: off her property soon. I love when the other family 206 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,800 Speaker 1: supports the right side. Yea, even if it's not like 207 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,559 Speaker 1: the blood side. You know, that's respectable. 208 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 2: That is very respectful. 209 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 1: I feel so lost, broken and depressed. I also have 210 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 1: security at work to make sure he doesn't show up 211 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,560 Speaker 1: at my office. My sister tells me to leave him, 212 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,080 Speaker 1: but not to divorce so he can never get with 213 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 1: anyone else and get papers. But I can't do that 214 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:49,280 Speaker 1: to him. Oh that is brutal, very I've gone back 215 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 1: home only to check on the house and see if 216 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: he's gone. I'm still staying with my sister, and surprisingly 217 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 1: there's no damage to anything, and his only things and 218 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 1: his things only are gone, so at least I feel 219 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: a little that because like he could have gone like 220 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,559 Speaker 1: ape shit. I'm not looking for advice. I know I'm 221 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 1: not going back. There is no longer any trust. My 222 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,520 Speaker 1: mental health wouldn't be safe in that relationship, and I 223 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:10,200 Speaker 1: know I can't have my daughter grow up with that 224 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 1: kind of relationship. Being an example, I just needed to 225 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: put this out there in order for it to solidify 226 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 1: in my brain and to be able to reflect that 227 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,400 Speaker 1: this is now a pattern, and he's gone beyond disrespecting 228 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:24,200 Speaker 1: me by now also making me make her food. That 229 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 1: is the most disrespectful thing, where it's like you're feeding 230 00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 1: the person that he's cheating with. 231 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:34,240 Speaker 3: She's feeding the mistress, herself, her kid, her husband, and 232 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 3: the mistress. 233 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:35,680 Speaker 2: Everybody's eaten. 234 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,079 Speaker 1: Everybody's eating. Oh, he probably makes some dang food. 235 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 2: Though she said some lemon pepper in there. 236 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, damn. I've been budgeting, trying to make things last, 237 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 1: sometimes eating less when I want to, or skipping meals 238 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 1: if possible. Oh, the meal was heavier of carbs, I'd skip, 239 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,839 Speaker 1: since I should have enough for my milk supply, all 240 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 1: to be able to pay bills, lawyer, his gym membership, 241 00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:00,360 Speaker 1: and supplements. I lose out on rest and sleep because 242 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: I ensure laundry and the house is kept spotless while 243 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,959 Speaker 1: the baby sleeps. I've basically gone from an independent, educated 244 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 1: career woman to the nineteen fifties housewife with a job 245 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,320 Speaker 1: in school, all because I blindly fell for this man. 246 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: When I say I feel stupid, that's an understatement. And 247 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:21,839 Speaker 1: there is a big edit, some relevant comments and an updates, 248 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 1: and another updates and another update. This story goes long. 249 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,040 Speaker 1: But what do you think so far? Do you think 250 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,760 Speaker 1: this is divorce worthy? Because right now, I mean, we 251 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:35,240 Speaker 1: do know about the pattern of like sexually repugnant behavior 252 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: from Op's husband. But if this was like a one 253 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 1: off thing where your husband lied about a coworker, a 254 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:46,640 Speaker 1: female coworker being working there, would you look past it 255 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 1: or would you be like, that's divorce worthy? Riley? What 256 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 1: do you think? 257 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's divorce worthy. 258 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 1: Divorce worthy? 259 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, because like there's other things going on if you're 260 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 3: lying about. 261 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,960 Speaker 1: It, Yeah, yeah, like why are you lying about it? 262 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 2: What would you do? 263 00:11:57,679 --> 00:11:59,559 Speaker 1: I don't know. If it was just this, I think 264 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:02,080 Speaker 1: an Op his case makes sense divorce. But if it 265 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 1: was just this instance. 266 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,880 Speaker 3: Like your your girlfriend was like, oh, this guy that, 267 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,400 Speaker 3: don't worry about him. She first says that don't worry 268 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:10,199 Speaker 3: about this guy. 269 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, and then says he's gone. 270 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,560 Speaker 3: But then you go show up at his work, at 271 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 3: her work, and he's there. 272 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:17,480 Speaker 1: And he's eating and the food I made for my girlfriend. Yeah, 273 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 1: how does that fel feels bad? Feel terrible? Actually? Yeah? Yeah, 274 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,679 Speaker 1: I would probably break up. Yeah, I would break up. 275 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 3: But would you divorce you already you wified up? 276 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 1: Is this the first offense. Yeah, first offense. Have I 277 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 1: been married for more than four years? 278 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 2: You have a kid together? 279 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 1: You have a kid together? I think I think that 280 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:35,800 Speaker 1: the rule is I made this totally arbitrary, terrible role. 281 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 1: Every four years. It's like a presidential election. Every four years, 282 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,920 Speaker 1: you get one joke free card. You got one count 283 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 1: of cheating. I don't know. I feel like I might. 284 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,280 Speaker 1: There would have to be a lot of trust that 285 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,319 Speaker 1: would be built back. But maybe after four years of 286 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,600 Speaker 1: marriage I would like and a kid, I would give 287 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:54,280 Speaker 1: it another round. Yeah, that would be pretty heartbroken. I 288 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,480 Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe I wouldn't be able to get past it. Yeah, 289 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,680 Speaker 1: I've broken up with when things have happened like this. 290 00:12:58,760 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 1: I've broken up with my partner. 291 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 3: But it's the marriage thing to divorce things. 292 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 2: Yes, right, and the kid too. 293 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,480 Speaker 1: The kid is the thing that's like I feel like 294 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:09,720 Speaker 1: the sticker. Well, let's get into these updates and edits. Okay. 295 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 1: So we did a first drop of the Love Club hoodies, 296 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,080 Speaker 1: and the ten that we made sold out in like 297 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 1: a couple hours. They did, so we talked to the 298 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,719 Speaker 1: guy who embroiders these and we can extend orders for 299 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,520 Speaker 1: another twenty four hours. So that's until December tenth at 300 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 1: ten am, and then we're going to go and deliver 301 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,200 Speaker 1: all those orders. But that will be the last time 302 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,560 Speaker 1: you could buy I think, at least for the coming weeks. 303 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:29,679 Speaker 2: So that means go get him now. 304 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,199 Speaker 1: You want to get one before time runs out, go 305 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:35,679 Speaker 1: to love Club dot Shop. That's luv Club dot Shop. Also, 306 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 1: thank you so much for supporting of the show, like 307 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 1: getting stuff like this makes all of this possible. We 308 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 1: love you, guys, and let's get back into the story. 309 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,679 Speaker 1: Love you so edit. I want to clarify some things 310 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,040 Speaker 1: I've been seeing in the comments. No, my sister isn't 311 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,959 Speaker 1: pushing me to stay in a relationship with him. She's 312 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,480 Speaker 1: telling me not to divorce him so that he can't 313 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 1: find another woman to marry and use for a green card, 314 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,040 Speaker 1: which is pretty funny. No, I'm not taking anything from 315 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 1: him that wasn't mine before we got married. Before me, 316 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 1: he lived in a house with seven other men sharing 317 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,800 Speaker 1: a bedroom with a bunk bed, and he drove a 318 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 1: two thousand Buick he had to unplug from the battery 319 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,320 Speaker 1: in order to use it again. That car got scrapped 320 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,800 Speaker 1: after the electrical went out. The car he's using is 321 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,040 Speaker 1: my car I got in high school. That got me 322 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:20,680 Speaker 1: through high school part time and seasonal jobs in community college. Also, 323 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,280 Speaker 1: my mom isn't dead. She gave me my childhood home 324 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 1: because I was going to college and it's a ten 325 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 1: minute commute from the college. She gave it to me 326 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 1: because I'm the last of the kids and all my 327 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 1: brothers and sisters are at least ten years older, and 328 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,640 Speaker 1: aside from my sister who's helping me, they all live 329 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,520 Speaker 1: in different states. He left home with a motorcycle. He's 330 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 1: customizing his gaming systems, clothes, and the guests bedroom TV, 331 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,040 Speaker 1: which was the only TV that was not mounted. Also, 332 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 1: I'm not keeping his daughter from him. I just personally 333 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,200 Speaker 1: don't want to see him because I know he will 334 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:52,120 Speaker 1: try to give me a ton of excuses and try 335 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,520 Speaker 1: to make me understand him. He can speak to my 336 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 1: sister or mom and they will supervise him to see 337 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 1: his daughter whenever he wants to. No battle in that. 338 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 1: I don't think he's a bad father, but I just 339 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 1: don't want my relationship with him as an example I 340 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 1: want to give to my daughter. Yes, I am Mexican too. 341 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 1: My dad came to the States and then later brought 342 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 1: my mom and two brothers and two sisters. Took a 343 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,800 Speaker 1: decade to see each other again, which is why I'm 344 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,640 Speaker 1: so apart from my siblings and the only one born here. 345 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 1: And here are some more relevant comments. I've been told 346 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 1: by my sister to inform everyone that this is my 347 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,320 Speaker 1: first actual long term relationship. She says that may give 348 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 1: people a clue as to why I was being so naive. 349 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 1: It was also very early in the relationship and we 350 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,920 Speaker 1: weren't living together yet. I met him when I was 351 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:37,200 Speaker 1: traveling around to local jobs where it was known immigrants 352 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 1: work to post and inform them of local resources to 353 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 1: help them with medical insurance, free clinics, and English as 354 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 1: the second language programs from children and adults. I was 355 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,640 Speaker 1: working for a seasonal daycare program for agriculture workers. So 356 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 1: another comment asked, how are you going without food if 357 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,240 Speaker 1: you both work and own your own home. He makes 358 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: below minimum wage due to undocumentation. I work part time 359 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,400 Speaker 1: minimum wage because I can't be away from the baby 360 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 1: due to breastfeeding. He also sends money to provide for 361 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,200 Speaker 1: his parents and younger siblings. Why did putting more food 362 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,000 Speaker 1: in his lunch cause budgeting issues? Yes, I was budgeting 363 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,680 Speaker 1: in order to be able to save money for the 364 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: lawyer expenses. But now that I look back, it was 365 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:17,400 Speaker 1: basically him paying bills and pocketing the leftover for Jim 366 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,640 Speaker 1: and supplements plus tools, slash, paints and whatever, while my 367 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,960 Speaker 1: paycheck was going to groceries his family in Mexico and diapers. 368 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,600 Speaker 1: And yes, I feel really stupid, naive and blind. What 369 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 1: would get you more child support? Him getting a green 370 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 1: card and permanent job here or not? Basically, when should 371 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 1: you divorce? This may be the numbness in me talking 372 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,160 Speaker 1: at the moment, but I don't need his money. He 373 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 1: can contribute by buying her diapers, clothes, and whatever necessities. 374 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:42,480 Speaker 1: Now that I'm not catering to him, I can leave 375 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,920 Speaker 1: my part time paper pushing job and find good daycare 376 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 1: for my daughter and go back to teaching. I might 377 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:51,040 Speaker 1: also just sell my second car and lower my car payments. 378 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 1: Full time job and one less person in my home 379 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,600 Speaker 1: also means lower utilities since it's less utilities being used 380 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,680 Speaker 1: at home, no mortgage, no stupid expenses or random gym 381 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 1: craft forty dollars membership, just protein, big protein, creatins and 382 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 1: supplements was at least one hundred and fifty dollars a month. Damn, 383 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,440 Speaker 1: this guy is working out. If he's putting that much 384 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,800 Speaker 1: money into it, he's gotta be huge, probably pretty good 385 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:16,320 Speaker 1: looking too. Freaking fucking beefcake. Dude big like Riley like Riley, 386 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,320 Speaker 1: and is big protein. Are we gonna do creating? 387 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,679 Speaker 3: I have creatine, I have like two things of creating. 388 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,120 Speaker 1: Should we start like really muscling up? I would love 389 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 1: that dude just gonna get yoked not to mention whatever 390 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:29,280 Speaker 1: he was doing to that junk motorcycle. My sister and 391 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,440 Speaker 1: mom have talked me through finances, and my brother in 392 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 1: law said I can honestly keep my part time job, 393 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,399 Speaker 1: get on government benefits, and spend more time with my daughter. 394 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 1: But I think mentally I need to go back to 395 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,440 Speaker 1: teaching and feel the independence of being self reliant again. 396 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,360 Speaker 1: Foodstams feels like it's just one thing he will throw 397 00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:46,240 Speaker 1: in my face. I don't know if I'm trying to 398 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,440 Speaker 1: hold on to a little piece of pride I have left, 399 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,800 Speaker 1: or if it's just anger I have inside that I 400 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,440 Speaker 1: want to show him and his chick I am better 401 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,399 Speaker 1: without him. Oh yeah, show him and his chick. Oh 402 00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,879 Speaker 1: so sad If I continue with the process, I'll be 403 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,280 Speaker 1: legally and findance actially responsible for him for years to come. 404 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:05,600 Speaker 1: Supervised visits is due to him never being more than 405 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 1: three hours aka one bottle feed alone with the baby. 406 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,560 Speaker 1: Also the fear of him taking my child to another 407 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,600 Speaker 1: country now that he's lost everything here, he just like 408 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 1: may decide to go back to Mexico where he can't 409 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,720 Speaker 1: come back unless he risks his life again. And that's 410 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,359 Speaker 1: very real. And as for the other woman, I don't know. 411 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,240 Speaker 1: She doesn't have anything to offer. She doesn't have a 412 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,960 Speaker 1: legal status either, because she overstated her visa to my 413 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:28,879 Speaker 1: understanding from a coworker of here as I went to 414 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,480 Speaker 1: school with. According to her, that woman is younger, no 415 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,959 Speaker 1: legal status or education, no English, and she's already gotten 416 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:38,199 Speaker 1: in trouble for being inappropriate in the workplace before. And 417 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,359 Speaker 1: if there is proof that they are being inappropriate, that 418 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,320 Speaker 1: will be a strike against him and firing against her. 419 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 1: Apparently she likes to call herself one of the guys 420 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,160 Speaker 1: because she's a woman who works in a male dominated 421 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 1: job and degrades women by making jokes with men. And 422 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 1: there is a juicy update coming around the corner ship. 423 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 1: Pick me Go, Yeah, pick me girl, I know, what 424 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,960 Speaker 1: do you think when a woman says she's one of 425 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,639 Speaker 1: the guys? Like, what is the stereotype that's there? Or 426 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,439 Speaker 1: are you a woman who is one of the guys 427 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,840 Speaker 1: and do you get stereotype? Or how do you describe 428 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,560 Speaker 1: your personality? I would love to know. But do you 429 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 1: think OPI should continue the process of leaving? What do 430 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:17,639 Speaker 1: you think, Riley? 431 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:18,240 Speaker 2: Yeah? 432 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:22,760 Speaker 3: It seems one it's a huge financial struggle to keep 433 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,680 Speaker 3: the relationship going, and then two he doesn't seem to 434 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,640 Speaker 3: prioritize her in the relationship. 435 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,679 Speaker 1: It seems kind of like a dead beaty Like what 436 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,760 Speaker 1: does she see? I mean, guess it's her first long 437 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,959 Speaker 1: term relationships. She sees the muscles. I bet he's super 438 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 1: good looking. I bet he's super good looking. And the 439 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:41,520 Speaker 1: issue with good looking people getting into a relationship with 440 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,920 Speaker 1: good looking people is like you'll look past so many 441 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 1: red flags because you just like see the sparkle in 442 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: their eyes. 443 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, and the bang in bod Sam has no red flegs. 444 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:51,720 Speaker 2: I haven't found one. 445 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:56,439 Speaker 1: I think our audience might disagree. What are my red flags? 446 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:57,440 Speaker 2: I don't know. 447 00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:58,040 Speaker 1: I don't know. 448 00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 2: If we want to know this, it'd be like say, 449 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:00,680 Speaker 2: at night. 450 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,639 Speaker 1: Like, yeah, dude, I'm like, oh, oh, I'm going to 451 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 1: be like torn apart. I kind of want to know, though, 452 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,000 Speaker 1: I actually don't want to know, but I just won't 453 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:08,960 Speaker 1: read the comments from this one. 454 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,480 Speaker 3: I'll read them and then I don't know if I 455 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 3: want to know, though, Like I'm living with you knowing 456 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:14,439 Speaker 3: your red flags. 457 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,119 Speaker 1: You should already know my red flags. 458 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:17,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, I don't know. 459 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 1: You probably know my red flags. The thing is, we're 460 00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:22,120 Speaker 1: constantly sharpening the sauce, so our red flags will disappear 461 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,760 Speaker 1: after a while because we're working on ourselves and we're 462 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 1: developing the men that are going to be men for 463 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,360 Speaker 1: others and for our future wives. 464 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,200 Speaker 3: That was beautiful. 465 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,639 Speaker 1: Okay, so here's the update. Sorry, it's been a while 466 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,560 Speaker 1: since I updated anyone. It's been three weeks in the 467 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,440 Speaker 1: last post sorting out my life, and this was supposed 468 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:39,919 Speaker 1: to be a throwaway, so I didn't expect it to 469 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 1: blow up the way it did. So here's the update. 470 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,080 Speaker 1: I guess I'll start with the most asked question, which 471 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:46,560 Speaker 1: was have you left him? 472 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:46,920 Speaker 2: Yes. 473 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 1: I also got a full check up, and I indeed 474 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,600 Speaker 1: had an infection. I was lucky I could treat and 475 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,440 Speaker 1: be good without any further issues. So she got an 476 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,640 Speaker 1: SDD from him. Ooh yikes. 477 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,480 Speaker 3: Oh does that mean that Where did he get the 478 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 3: STD from? 479 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,679 Speaker 1: Probably from the girl that's one of the guys. 480 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:09,200 Speaker 3: Oh no, oh, that's tough. 481 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Opie. At least it's treatable. At least it's treatable, 482 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,840 Speaker 1: you know, take some pills and hopefully it'll the burn 483 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:20,040 Speaker 1: wold subside. This also confirmed his unfaithfulness because, as I mentioned, 484 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:21,840 Speaker 1: I had a baby not long ago, and during the 485 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 1: whole pregnancy they checked me for everything, and they had 486 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,880 Speaker 1: done a full panel when I was three months postpartum 487 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,159 Speaker 1: because I got a UTI and my doctor wanted to 488 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,040 Speaker 1: ensure it was only that too. Did I talk to 489 00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 1: him to get his side of the story. Yes, when 490 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,800 Speaker 1: I went to tell him about the infection, I allowed 491 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 1: him to speak his mind about everything. I only asked 492 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:39,199 Speaker 1: him for the truth, as there wasn't anything else for 493 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,840 Speaker 1: him to ruin. It was completely over at this point. 494 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 1: And here's a basic ELDR. He never wanted to hurt me. 495 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,600 Speaker 1: He loves his daughter and me. He enjoyed the attention. 496 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,960 Speaker 1: It was something new and exciting. It took his mind 497 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,679 Speaker 1: off the stress of bills, kid, my emotional states and 498 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 1: the general routine of his life. Life had gotten boring, 499 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,160 Speaker 1: and she entertained him. I'm sorry that your wife organized 500 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 1: her previously chaotic life. She was so good to him, too, 501 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:03,439 Speaker 1: so good. 502 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,320 Speaker 3: Like wagging up an hour and a half time. Now, 503 00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 3: oh wow. 504 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,800 Speaker 1: And at a certain point, like what is too nice? Though? 505 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 1: You know, like can you do too much for a 506 00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:12,120 Speaker 1: significant other? 507 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 3: I mean I would say, yeah, you can go over more, 508 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:16,080 Speaker 3: but if you like have a loving and serving heart, 509 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,960 Speaker 3: I think it's. 510 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,680 Speaker 1: Goin a loving and serving heart. Can we ask you 511 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 1: about the tears? Can you talk about the tear jar? 512 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,080 Speaker 3: When we talk about the tear jar, I kind of 513 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,240 Speaker 3: want to you can ask about it. 514 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,960 Speaker 1: Okay, all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna save it for 515 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,359 Speaker 1: the end, but I'm gonna. 516 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,000 Speaker 2: Actually have it. 517 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 1: I can see the tear jar. Okay, all right, we're 518 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,440 Speaker 1: gonna this is good. Wait till the end. We're gonna 519 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:35,840 Speaker 1: talk about the tear jar. Man Riley, You're gonna get 520 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,920 Speaker 1: a swarm of comments, are swarm of dms bro people 521 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,560 Speaker 1: are gonna be hopping your Instagram. All right, That's about 522 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 1: what I believe to be true. Out of the couple 523 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:46,960 Speaker 1: hours of begging, excuses, gaslighting, and even blaming. The rest 524 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 1: was the infection is a common one that happens because 525 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,040 Speaker 1: of cow dung everywhere, and because he goes out and 526 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:55,320 Speaker 1: he's outside without washing his hands or something. Oh so 527 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:59,960 Speaker 1: he's like, it's not gone to real babe, it's cow 528 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,960 Speaker 1: She doesn't like men. She was just one of the guys. 529 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,640 Speaker 1: Come on, really, I only gave her lunch that day. 530 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,680 Speaker 1: It was just the one time that she got her lunch. 531 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,960 Speaker 1: And she asked me because she saw I had two lunches. 532 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,800 Speaker 1: He would never stand solo to break his family. Why 533 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,719 Speaker 1: would I make such assumptions? Oh, so you knew what 534 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,959 Speaker 1: you were doing. Once I showed him my chart with 535 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,719 Speaker 1: my results and explain how it's not a normal infection 536 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:23,960 Speaker 1: like E. Coli that you could get because of poop, 537 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,720 Speaker 1: and it was an actual transmissible infection, I guess understood 538 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,800 Speaker 1: what happened. I also explained that I hadn't slept with 539 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,040 Speaker 1: anyone since we met, and how my doctor explained that 540 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 1: if I would have any kind of transmissible diseases, I 541 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,200 Speaker 1: would have known during the pregnancy, because not only is 542 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,840 Speaker 1: it common practice to test for all risks, but my 543 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:42,919 Speaker 1: high risk pregnancy and pre term labor. She tested for 544 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,720 Speaker 1: all kinds of things to see if she could find 545 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,600 Speaker 1: the cause of the issues, and afterward to find the 546 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,680 Speaker 1: cause of pre term labor. He admitted it shortly after 547 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,800 Speaker 1: that he listened to me and saw my doctor's note. 548 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,720 Speaker 1: I'll add I have the best obgi n and she 549 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:59,040 Speaker 1: was amazing in listening to me and allowing me to 550 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,840 Speaker 1: cry and gave me only support during that moment, with 551 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,280 Speaker 1: even having a nurse take my daughter out for me 552 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,399 Speaker 1: to cry, but also printed me information and ensured me 553 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,720 Speaker 1: that a simple medicine will make it go away and 554 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 1: I should not see any more issues. Anyhow, he's staying 555 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:16,000 Speaker 1: at the dairy at some trailer the owner let him borrow, 556 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,919 Speaker 1: and for those who thought she would take him, it 557 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,160 Speaker 1: turns out she's engaged and she's about to start her 558 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 1: wedding and do an adjustment of status which means get 559 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,159 Speaker 1: her papers. So she's about to get a wedding that 560 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:28,960 Speaker 1: basically secured her life in this country. 561 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:33,200 Speaker 2: So she was also in a relationship and oh. 562 00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:35,440 Speaker 1: And also getting her papers. They totally fucked up both 563 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:39,000 Speaker 1: of their lives right here. Anyways, I'm back to living 564 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,439 Speaker 1: on my own. My baby is doing great. I have 565 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,159 Speaker 1: another office job lined up for January, and I have 566 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,919 Speaker 1: a few universities have applied to. I'm currently going to 567 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,720 Speaker 1: community college online, but if I get into a UNI, 568 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,600 Speaker 1: I think I'll move out of this town. My grandma 569 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:54,800 Speaker 1: said she would help with the move. Some days are long, 570 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,640 Speaker 1: like today, it's a late night and I can't sleep 571 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,160 Speaker 1: because I miss him. But I've been entertaining myself, getting 572 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,439 Speaker 1: rid of stuff my home to start a new slate, 573 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,720 Speaker 1: and organizing everything. I won't lie and say I'm doing great. 574 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,120 Speaker 1: On my days off, I don't get out of bed 575 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,159 Speaker 1: and my house is clean, but my bedroom has my 576 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,360 Speaker 1: laundry basket overfilled, and I brought out the guest blankets 577 00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:13,520 Speaker 1: and pillows to use. People at work have noticed a 578 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 1: slowed pace in my work and I was offered time off, 579 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,000 Speaker 1: but I denied that. Although now that somehow the rumor 580 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,280 Speaker 1: of what happened has reached my job, I may take 581 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,480 Speaker 1: off that time. Thank you for all the support everyone. 582 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,199 Speaker 1: Although I had a few people call me names and 583 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 1: talk badly to me in the messages, I appreciate the 584 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,880 Speaker 1: other people who commented nice things and showed me support. 585 00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 1: And there is another edits and another updates and it 586 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,479 Speaker 1: gets crazier. It's not it's not over. You thought it 587 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:39,360 Speaker 1: was over, but it ain't. 588 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,280 Speaker 3: It seems pretty much like what other crazy things could 589 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:43,120 Speaker 3: come about, you know. 590 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:43,679 Speaker 1: I don't know. 591 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:44,520 Speaker 3: I can't think of anything. 592 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,199 Speaker 1: I don't know. I hope she doesn't take him back 593 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:47,600 Speaker 1: or anything. Yeah, that would be bad. 594 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 3: But like, he's been working out a lot. 595 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,800 Speaker 1: He's been working out. He looks sool. He's been doing 596 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,560 Speaker 1: that big protein. He's been flexing his muscles in the mirror. 597 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,719 Speaker 2: I didn't want to go to that Venice beach where Arnold. 598 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,639 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, the goal is gem Now we got it. 599 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,159 Speaker 1: So I woke up to the husband's call and he 600 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,439 Speaker 1: apologized again. I'm still not budging, but he told me 601 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,920 Speaker 1: he was talking to some guys at work about free 602 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,760 Speaker 1: clinics or where they go when they're sick. And it 603 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,679 Speaker 1: turns out that the same woman has been sleeping with 604 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,480 Speaker 1: a few from there. I don't know if around the 605 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,600 Speaker 1: same time, but one of them told my husband where 606 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,920 Speaker 1: to get treated for free, because he got it from 607 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 1: her too. She wants to be one of the guys 608 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:25,800 Speaker 1: so bad that she just wants all of them in 609 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,400 Speaker 1: her in his apology, which sounded more sincere this time. 610 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:31,119 Speaker 1: But I believe it's worse because it's only after he 611 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,159 Speaker 1: realized he wasn't special to her, just another one of 612 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:37,400 Speaker 1: the guys she slept with. But I say sincere because 613 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,080 Speaker 1: he didn't have many excuses. Instead, he seemed to hold 614 00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:42,920 Speaker 1: himself accountable by saying he had won the lottery and 615 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:45,159 Speaker 1: messed out. Please don't give him a second chance. He 616 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,240 Speaker 1: begged for a second chance because he doesn't know what 617 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:49,679 Speaker 1: came over him, but he knows who. He came over, Mmmm, 618 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,280 Speaker 1: came over. I came in. 619 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:53,880 Speaker 2: Oh, I came over. 620 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,760 Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I was thinking, like, yeah, 621 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,480 Speaker 1: belly button Devasai like Kim Kardashian me where it's like 622 00:26:58,840 --> 00:26:59,560 Speaker 1: Champagne and so on. 623 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,240 Speaker 2: Button, Yeah, one of those, one of us. 624 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,480 Speaker 1: Please don't get back with em, OPI. He says he 625 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,040 Speaker 1: hates coming home to an empty trailer. He misses seeing 626 00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,439 Speaker 1: his daughter the moment after work. What choked me up 627 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 1: was when he said he used to feel more exhausted 628 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 1: when he used to come home to us because the 629 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,240 Speaker 1: baby would be excited to see him and would cry 630 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,000 Speaker 1: to be held by him. And during the week, I 631 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,480 Speaker 1: would often leave the same easy meals made for him 632 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,359 Speaker 1: and he could eat while I left to work, and 633 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,439 Speaker 1: he started to feel tired of it. It was a 634 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,800 Speaker 1: boring routine of the same foods during the week. Babe, 635 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,280 Speaker 1: I cheated on you because you make the same food. 636 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,280 Speaker 1: If you just switched it up, it would be fine. 637 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,920 Speaker 3: If it's easy food, just make it. Just make other 638 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:35,680 Speaker 3: easy foods. 639 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,359 Speaker 1: What you're saying, she should make other easy food. No, No, 640 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 1: it was a boring routine of the same foods during 641 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:43,800 Speaker 1: the week, coming home and having to watch a baby 642 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:45,679 Speaker 1: so I could go to work. That solidified to me 643 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:49,320 Speaker 1: that I don't ever want to find another relationship, much 644 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,800 Speaker 1: less go back to him. The routine I worked hard 645 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,120 Speaker 1: to put my family together was a chore to him. 646 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,680 Speaker 1: I literally dealt with a fussy, tired child till he 647 00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,000 Speaker 1: got home, so she would mostly sleep and he would 648 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,520 Speaker 1: only need a single bottle for her. But even that 649 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,359 Speaker 1: was too hard. He said he would give up the 650 00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:05,880 Speaker 1: world just to be back into his routine. Because now 651 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,199 Speaker 1: he comes home to an empty trailer where it's just 652 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,560 Speaker 1: a bed and a fold out table. He hasn't eaten 653 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,639 Speaker 1: his diet because he doesn't have time to prep. He 654 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 1: started spending money on lunch because he doesn't have food 655 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,240 Speaker 1: made for him. He says he misses the baby so 656 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,480 Speaker 1: much that he cries when he goes home. I told 657 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:21,080 Speaker 1: him I don't know what to tell him about that. 658 00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:22,520 Speaker 1: But if he wanted to see the baby when I 659 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,600 Speaker 1: go home to work, he can go to see her 660 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,399 Speaker 1: at my mom's, who baby sits for me. Now knowing 661 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,960 Speaker 1: my mom, she makes food and she would never deny 662 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,920 Speaker 1: him food. So he can go over there and eat 663 00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,360 Speaker 1: and be with a baby after work. But I had 664 00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:36,680 Speaker 1: to go and I couldn't talk anymore. When I tell y'all, 665 00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 1: I've never cried so hard in my life, it's an understatement. 666 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:41,520 Speaker 1: It doesn't help. It's raining today. I think I'm calling 667 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 1: into work day and tomorrow and talking to my boss 668 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:48,440 Speaker 1: about taking those days. And there is another edit and 669 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,400 Speaker 1: another update. But I'm so glad that OPI is like 670 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 1: standstron not taking this beef cake back. 671 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. I was a little worried there, a little worried. 672 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,120 Speaker 1: I was little she had but she had it for 673 00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:58,600 Speaker 1: a little that. Yeah, I was like, oh shit. But 674 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:01,320 Speaker 1: here's some relevant comments. What have you decided regarding the 675 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,000 Speaker 1: legal aspects of this ie green card, and she says, 676 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 1: I don't want to make any legal decisions at the moment. 677 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,600 Speaker 1: I'm barely getting through leaving him. I also don't want 678 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,720 Speaker 1: to be responsible for my daughter losing her dad because 679 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 1: of the stupidity. Another commentary cautioned her to not overly 680 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 1: listen to Reddit here because this is a decision with 681 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:20,120 Speaker 1: huge ramifications. She should just do what feels right for 682 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,240 Speaker 1: her and her child, and op says, I feel like 683 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:25,760 Speaker 1: there's no way out without severe damage. I feel like 684 00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,560 Speaker 1: I'm in a bridge game from Squid Games, except all 685 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,240 Speaker 1: the title's break at any decision, and just some have 686 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 1: lesser consequences than others. Oh opee. I currently don't want 687 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,640 Speaker 1: to make any decisions because I feel safe in limbo 688 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,640 Speaker 1: at the moment. Because even though my logical reasoning understands 689 00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,560 Speaker 1: if he gets deported it's going to be from his decision, 690 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,800 Speaker 1: my emotional reasoning feels responsible for it. I don't want 691 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,480 Speaker 1: him back because the betrayal and his dishonesty has broken 692 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,840 Speaker 1: any trust I could ever have, and I don't think 693 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,680 Speaker 1: it would be good for my mental health to continue 694 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:55,520 Speaker 1: a relationship like that. I grew up seeing my mom 695 00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:59,120 Speaker 1: always asking and wondering if my stepfather was cheating or not, 696 00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,280 Speaker 1: to the point where my mom neglected us because she 697 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,440 Speaker 1: was so busy ensuring her husband wasn't cheating. It turned 698 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:08,280 Speaker 1: a once loving, pairing, involved mother into a toxic person 699 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,800 Speaker 1: who would take her daughters out at three am to 700 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:13,240 Speaker 1: go to shady neighborhoods to see if her husband's car 701 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:16,920 Speaker 1: was outside someone's house. Hmm, Like, that's what happens when 702 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,080 Speaker 1: the trust is broken. It turns toxic. 703 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:20,520 Speaker 2: That's so tough. 704 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,840 Speaker 1: It's so tough, and it's like op has seen that happen. 705 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:24,480 Speaker 1: She's like, I don't want that happening to my kids. 706 00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:25,760 Speaker 2: That's good for sending it up for it. 707 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:28,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't want that for myself or daughter. 708 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:32,680 Speaker 1: I saw cheating ruin my mother without her ever being unfaithful. 709 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,800 Speaker 1: I've seen it destroy my sister's first engagement. I've seen 710 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:39,720 Speaker 1: brothers bleed from aggressive cheating women who attack them for 711 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 1: wanting to take their kids from toxic environments with drugs 712 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,320 Speaker 1: and other men. Cheating is something I don't want any involvement, 713 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,440 Speaker 1: and I've seen what it does to people. But I 714 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,120 Speaker 1: also have that responsibility that I want my daughter to 715 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,360 Speaker 1: have her dad. So in the meantime, I am having 716 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,640 Speaker 1: that distance because I know what is better for her, 717 00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,800 Speaker 1: and I'm trying my best to stick to the logical conclusion, 718 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,360 Speaker 1: not the emotional one. No matter how much I miss him, 719 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,840 Speaker 1: I tell myself, I don't miss this person talking to me. 720 00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,080 Speaker 1: I miss the person who made me feel safe, loved 721 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,680 Speaker 1: and cared for. And even then, I'm starting to look 722 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,560 Speaker 1: back and realize a lot of it was me in 723 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:13,120 Speaker 1: a delusional state, thinking that him hugging me when I 724 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,320 Speaker 1: asked me, going to him for kisses, me cuddling to 725 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:17,520 Speaker 1: him was all love. I felt safe with him, not 726 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,080 Speaker 1: because he made me feel safe, because I thought I was. 727 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 1: But looking back, it's embarrassing to say I was the 728 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,080 Speaker 1: one who did a lot of the instigating of affection. 729 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 1: Maybe some people who messaged me saying I was psycho 730 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,520 Speaker 1: were onto something. I'm starting to feel like maybe I 731 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:34,000 Speaker 1: was in some delusional state and he was just using me. 732 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,960 Speaker 1: And there's one more update. But oh, that's heartbreaking to 733 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,360 Speaker 1: see where I hope he's mind is at. 734 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, all that history around cheating. 735 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:43,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't like that. She's like, oh, maybe 736 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,880 Speaker 1: I'm delusional in psycho or something, dude. No, no, no, 737 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 1: don't listen to the Reddit comments that are saying your psycho, 738 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,680 Speaker 1: you just went through something super traumatic. You do you 739 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,800 Speaker 1: deserve a little bit of leniency. Yeah, they're just like, 740 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:58,720 Speaker 1: you're wrong, this is fake. Yeah, we trolls, little trolls. 741 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:00,720 Speaker 1: I mean, hey, we got comments that are TROLLI every 742 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:01,320 Speaker 1: once in a while. 743 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:02,160 Speaker 2: Yeah they're funny. 744 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, you just got to learn to let it roll 745 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:06,040 Speaker 1: off your back like a duck in the water. Be 746 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,680 Speaker 1: a duck, Be a duck and swim. Keep swimming, Keep 747 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:13,400 Speaker 1: keep swimming. Okay, so here is the final updates. My 748 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:15,800 Speaker 1: husband cheated on me and the woman who he cheated 749 00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:19,800 Speaker 1: with is now harassing me. This woman can't catch him break. 750 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,920 Speaker 1: I guess she was engaged and was about to go 751 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,680 Speaker 1: from a visa to residency because of her fiance, but 752 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,200 Speaker 1: somehow he found out about her relationship with my husband. 753 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,840 Speaker 1: She believes it was me, but I don't know who 754 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,520 Speaker 1: her partner is, slash was or who told him yet. 755 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,240 Speaker 1: Since like four pm today, she's been doing the following. 756 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,520 Speaker 1: She punctured a hole in one of my tires, wrote 757 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:40,600 Speaker 1: on my front bay window. Home wrecker keeps calling me 758 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,280 Speaker 1: from different numbers, and now I'm starting to receive span 759 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,120 Speaker 1: text messages after I blocked all her numbers and stop 760 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,400 Speaker 1: answering random numbers. Then a threat saying I'll ruin your 761 00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:53,240 Speaker 1: car like you ruined my relationship. This is all since 762 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,600 Speaker 1: this afternoon. I called the police, but by the time 763 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,640 Speaker 1: they showed up, she was gone, and they said, I 764 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,640 Speaker 1: have no proof what she's doing unless they find her 765 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,720 Speaker 1: doing it, or I have the proof that her hands 766 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:06,640 Speaker 1: are tied to what she's doing. My mom and stepdad 767 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:08,520 Speaker 1: said they will put up cameras in my home, and 768 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,840 Speaker 1: my mom is keeping my car at her home. They 769 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:12,960 Speaker 1: want me to stay with them too, but I don't 770 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,160 Speaker 1: want to leave my house in case she tries something 771 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,240 Speaker 1: against it. The most I was able to get is 772 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,760 Speaker 1: a police officer patrolling the area, meaning that they will 773 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,600 Speaker 1: be close by and randomly passed by. I'm not sure 774 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,120 Speaker 1: what to do. I don't even know who her partner is, 775 00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,560 Speaker 1: and I'm already dealing with leaving my husband and now 776 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:32,720 Speaker 1: she's harassing me. Any advice before it gets worse? Oh, man, op, 777 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:34,720 Speaker 1: he is dealing with the most I don't know, Like, 778 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,360 Speaker 1: what was what would be your advice to her? 779 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:40,360 Speaker 3: My question is why is she attacking her because she 780 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,000 Speaker 3: was with other men too, like. 781 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,280 Speaker 1: Well, because she just can't she can't fess up to 782 00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,360 Speaker 1: her actions. She's just like looking for someone to blame. 783 00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:47,959 Speaker 2: I think did op tell her husband? 784 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:48,160 Speaker 4: No? 785 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:52,320 Speaker 1: But the husband found out? So the fiance of so, yeah, 786 00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:55,920 Speaker 1: Opie's husband cheated with this woman from work. The woman 787 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:59,080 Speaker 1: from work to fiance found out that the woman from 788 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:02,560 Speaker 1: work was cheating. And now that Yance is leaving her 789 00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,040 Speaker 1: sure life is imploding because now she's not going to 790 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,440 Speaker 1: get her green card and she's like, oh, you're a 791 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,440 Speaker 1: home wrecker or exposing my cheating. 792 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:12,960 Speaker 2: But my thing is it could have been any of 793 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:13,960 Speaker 2: the other guys. 794 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:15,719 Speaker 1: Or that's true, it could have been any of the 795 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:17,919 Speaker 1: other guys. Maybe the advice is I didn't say anything. 796 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:19,239 Speaker 1: It could have been one of the other guys that 797 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,560 Speaker 1: felt spurted. It could have been my husband. Yeah, maybe 798 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:25,600 Speaker 1: deflectfle I mean, your husband deserves some kind of buttersh 799 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,839 Speaker 1: So maybe this is the punishment he deserves. Maybe not. No, 800 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:30,400 Speaker 1: we don't want to wish harm on anyone, but I 801 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:31,919 Speaker 1: feel so bad for op. 802 00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,799 Speaker 4: Yeah she's psycho, bro, Yeah, she's psycho the chick. That's 803 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,759 Speaker 4: how we thought you are like OP, Like we just 804 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:41,240 Speaker 4: said no, no, no, yeah yeah yeah poor Opie. Yeah dude, 805 00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:43,080 Speaker 4: poor Ope. I know, I like, what do you think 806 00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,400 Speaker 4: OP should do? Put your answers in the comments. This 807 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:47,520 Speaker 4: is this is a rough one. Op's really going through it. 808 00:34:47,600 --> 00:35:10,680 Speaker 4: But we do have one other story. 809 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:05,440 Speaker 1: Assass