1 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, Emily Badi here. You are listening to five 2 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:25,120 Speaker 1: Minute Friday from Hurdle. I have been thinking so much 3 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: about something that is highly frustrating for me, which is 4 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:34,560 Speaker 1: that sometimes you just don't know what you need until 5 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:40,400 Speaker 1: you need it. I am someone that really tries to 6 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: plan ahead. I am someone that tries to look at 7 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 1: scenarios from all angles and always have a plan B. 8 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,480 Speaker 1: But what I'm coming to terms with a lot lately 9 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 1: is that I'm not always going to have all of 10 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:00,520 Speaker 1: the answers. And trust me, it's not like this is 11 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:05,039 Speaker 1: some brand new realization. But in the season of my 12 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 1: life when I'm trying to be as proactive as possible 13 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 1: and I recognize that it is not possible a lot 14 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:16,440 Speaker 1: of the time, I just need to throw my hands 15 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:20,760 Speaker 1: up and surrender. I'll talk to you about some specifics. 16 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:23,759 Speaker 1: I have been open about this on social a bit. 17 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 1: I wrote a newsletter about it today. If you don't 18 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: subscribe to the Weekly Hurdle, please go over there and 19 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 1: check it out. The link to do that is in 20 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 1: the show notes, and it's absolutely free. If you keep 21 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:37,160 Speaker 1: up with me in either of those places, then you 22 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 1: know I am beginning my egg freezing journey. This is 23 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:45,759 Speaker 1: something that as much research as I have done, as 24 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 1: many people that I have spoken to about it, I 25 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 1: just have so much unknown. I don't know how I'm 26 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: going to feel after the first day of injections, the 27 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: second day of injections, five days agay do injections. I 28 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: don't know how the monitoring appointments are going to be 29 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 1: when you have to go in and get an ultrasound 30 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 1: and get blood work drawn. I don't know what's going 31 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 1: to happen if the retrieval is successful versus unsuccessful. I 32 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:17,760 Speaker 1: don't know if I'm only going to do one cycle 33 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: of this, which is the goal, or if I'm going 34 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 1: to do multiple I don't know a lot of things. 35 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: I also, let's keep talking about the things I don't know. 36 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 2: Don't know. 37 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,080 Speaker 1: Maybe I've said this, but how I'm going to feel 38 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,520 Speaker 1: next week so invites right people being like, come to this, 39 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: do that. My guess is that I probably won't be 40 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 1: able to do those things, but what if I can. 41 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 1: I hate being flaky. A lot of unknown you get 42 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 1: the gist, And I also don't know how I'm going 43 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:54,680 Speaker 1: to feel after. I'm just really rolling off of so 44 00:02:55,360 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 1: many insights from candidly. A lot of really kind women 45 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:06,520 Speaker 1: I don't know that are in my DMS. So what's 46 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 1: happening is that oftentimes you're not getting the messages that 47 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:17,680 Speaker 1: are everything was great, everything is wonderful. I had no 48 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:21,399 Speaker 1: problems whatsoever. You're getting the messages of, Oh I wish 49 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 1: I knew this. I wish I knew that my experience 50 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:25,720 Speaker 1: was awful, trauma dump. 51 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,960 Speaker 2: It's okay. I'm not mad. I get it. I asked 52 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:29,240 Speaker 2: for it. 53 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: This was solicited feedback that just got very real, very real, 54 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: very fast, being in this place of acceptance over the 55 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 1: things I cannot change, being in this place of acceptance 56 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: that this is how it is now. It is a choice, 57 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 1: and there is so much growth to be had in that, 58 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 1: and so similarly how I'm making every effort that I 59 00:03:54,440 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 1: can to stand tall and focus on how proud I 60 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 1: am of myself for coming to this decision and this 61 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 1: decision that feels right for me. I am also making 62 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 1: the conscious choice to be as okay as I can 63 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:20,600 Speaker 1: with the unknown. It's not what I want, right, I 64 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:24,280 Speaker 1: want all of the answers, but I've made it up 65 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,360 Speaker 1: until this point not having a lot of the answers 66 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 1: for things I want in my life, and all I 67 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 1: can do moving forward is the best I can with 68 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:36,280 Speaker 1: what I have, and what I have now is a 69 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 1: lot of questions. 70 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:40,599 Speaker 2: And that's what's on my mind this week. That is 71 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,760 Speaker 2: what's on my mind this week. 72 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 1: I do want to say a profound thank you just 73 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,480 Speaker 1: so many of you who have been reaching out and 74 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,719 Speaker 1: sharing your stories with me. I have responded when I 75 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 1: have been capable of doing so, but I would be 76 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 1: remiss if I didn't admit that it is a lot. 77 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 1: It's a lot to take on, and I, like I said, 78 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,040 Speaker 1: I'm just doing the best I can with what I have. 79 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 2: I treated myself to HBO for the month. I will not. 80 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 1: Be making any purchases at all other than the HBO 81 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 1: in the near future. That's not true entirely, but I 82 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:20,799 Speaker 1: did just receive a bill for ten seven hundred dollars, which, 83 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:25,480 Speaker 1: of note, most every clinic that I've heard of does 84 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 1: offer a payment plan, but I felt strongly that I 85 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 1: wanted to pay it off using our credit cards so 86 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 1: I could at least get points or perks for spending 87 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:41,160 Speaker 1: this large sum of money. And if I didn't pay 88 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:45,039 Speaker 1: it off all at once, I would have to do 89 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 1: acch and I didn't want to do that. Adulting is wild. 90 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: Adulting is wild. And when I'm done answering this listener question, 91 00:05:54,240 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 1: I'm going to continue to prepare my taxes and evaluate life. 92 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: My prompter you this week? Where are you doing the 93 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 1: best you can with what you have? And what area 94 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 1: of your life right now can you offer yourself a 95 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: little bit more grace? Where are you doing the best 96 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 1: you can with what you have? And what area of 97 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:25,279 Speaker 1: your life right now can you offer yourself a bit 98 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:30,120 Speaker 1: more grace? And now a listener question. Hi, Emily, my 99 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 1: name's Avery and I'm a longtime hurdler. I am coming 100 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,920 Speaker 1: into your inbox today to ask about sleep. I feel 101 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 1: like I'm really good with my training and my nutrition, 102 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: but my sleep is never as good as I think 103 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 1: that it could be. A men's sister, how do you 104 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 1: handle sleeping well? What do you do to sleep better? 105 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:52,479 Speaker 1: And what do you do when sleep anxiety kicks in. 106 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm constantly awake at two or three 107 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: in the morning, and I want to do whatever I 108 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 1: can to stop waking up. Thank you for everything that 109 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: you share. Love the show. Okay, first of all, I 110 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 1: hear you. This is a This is funny because it's 111 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 1: such a high achiever dilemma, like we're trying to win 112 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,080 Speaker 1: at sleep at the same time that we're trying to 113 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 1: win at how we do our workouts when we're trying 114 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 1: to win, and how we do our fitness. But candidly, 115 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 1: sleep is just one of those things in life that 116 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,320 Speaker 1: the harder you chase it, I find that the faster 117 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 1: it runs away. So when you're hitting a wall and 118 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 1: you're staring at the ceiling, trust me, I have been 119 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: there before. What that is often indicative of is that 120 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 1: your central nervous system is just overstimulated. When that happens, 121 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: it could be professional stress, your packed social calendar, living 122 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 1: in a crazy city. Your body stuck on on is 123 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 1: what's going on, and so you have to learn how 124 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 1: to manually flip that switch. How do we do that? 125 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 1: It's a really good question. I have a few things 126 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: that I do. The first thing is I try to 127 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 1: whenever I can, stick to what I call the three 128 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 1: two one rule. So I try to eat three hours 129 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 1: before I go to bed, I try to stop working 130 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: two hours before I go to bed, and I'm no 131 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,400 Speaker 1: screens one hour before I go to bed. It's not 132 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 1: always easy to keep this in the mix, but at 133 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 1: the very least then I'll decrease that ratio a little bit. 134 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 1: So it could be no food two hours before bed, 135 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 1: no work an hour before bed, and no screens thirty 136 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 1: minutes before bed. I'm like, okay, that's still a win. 137 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,320 Speaker 1: That's one of the things that's in my regular routine. 138 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:41,320 Speaker 1: Something else, we gotta think temperature in the room. I 139 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 1: love a bedroom that feels like a refrigerator, so my 140 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:48,320 Speaker 1: bedroom is almost always between like sixty two and sixty 141 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:52,960 Speaker 1: four degrees. It's super helpful for helping your core temperature drop. 142 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 1: No one likes to be hot in bed, and a 143 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,559 Speaker 1: cooler core temperature also is a really helpful signal for 144 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:04,280 Speaker 1: your body for deep sleep. And the last non negotiable 145 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:08,199 Speaker 1: for me in my sleep routine is darkness. The first 146 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 1: thing I hung up in the apartment when I moved 147 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 1: in blackout curtains. I even will look at a hotel 148 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,960 Speaker 1: when I'm traveling to see what their situation is. Yes, 149 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,600 Speaker 1: I understand you could wear an eyemask. It's just not 150 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:23,440 Speaker 1: my preference. So I am all about making sure that 151 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:29,079 Speaker 1: I'm blocking out as much light from the room as possible. Okay, 152 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,839 Speaker 1: the question of what do I do when I wake 153 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,559 Speaker 1: up at two or three am, the moment that your 154 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 1: brain is spinning and everything you're thinking about the emails 155 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:37,959 Speaker 1: you didn't send. 156 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 2: Again, I get it. I have been there. 157 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 1: First things First, I start with a box breath, so 158 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 1: I awake, and I try to not judge the fact 159 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 1: that I'm awake. 160 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 2: Easier said than done. 161 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 1: Right, You're frustrated and you don't want to be there awake. 162 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,000 Speaker 2: You want to be sleeping. So I'll start with the 163 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:57,680 Speaker 2: box breath. 164 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: So that's inhale for four, hold for exhale for four, 165 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:06,679 Speaker 1: hold for four. I do that for I don't know, 166 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 1: maybe two minutes. I just keep inhaling and holding and 167 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 1: exhaling and holding. 168 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 2: And what that does. 169 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:19,080 Speaker 1: It's a physiological hack to move your body from a 170 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:22,120 Speaker 1: stressed state into a relaxed one. 171 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,440 Speaker 2: We love a box breath. 172 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,840 Speaker 1: Then, if I realize that it's been like fifteen twenty 173 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 1: minutes of me being awake, this is frustrating, but I 174 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:33,960 Speaker 1: get out of bed. I would say that this is 175 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 1: probably the hardest rule to follow, but also the most important, 176 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 1: because your brain really needs to associate your bed with sleep, 177 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 1: not with anxiety. So what I'll do is I'll get up, 178 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,120 Speaker 1: I'll walk to the living room. I won't typically turn 179 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 1: any lights on, but if you want to turn a 180 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 1: light on on low, make sure it's yeah, like that, 181 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: like on low, and do something analog. So I'll read 182 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,600 Speaker 1: a book, or I will do some stretching, or maybe 183 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 1: I will write the The writing a brain dump can 184 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:06,520 Speaker 1: be really helpful because oftentimes, again, there's something spinning in 185 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 1: your head, there's a worry that might be looping. So 186 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,839 Speaker 1: write it down, get it out of your mind, get 187 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:15,439 Speaker 1: it onto the paper, and tell yourself after you've done this, 188 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 1: I've written it down. I can handle it tomorrow. Now 189 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:24,160 Speaker 1: I have the permission to go back to sleep. It's 190 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,679 Speaker 1: frustrating again, I totally understand. But at the end of 191 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:31,080 Speaker 1: the day, productivity is a byproduct of rest, it's not 192 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:35,079 Speaker 1: a replacement for it. So be as disciplined with your 193 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:38,679 Speaker 1: recovery as you are with your deadlines or your workout routines, 194 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 1: and that will bring more. 195 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 2: Peace into your sleep routine. I promise you that. 196 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 1: Make sure you're following along with Hurdle over on social 197 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 1: It's at Hurdle podcast. I'm over at Emily Badi again. 198 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,200 Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you and thank you for making 199 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:59,320 Speaker 1: me feel like this is a safe space to share 200 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:04,560 Speaker 1: all of the things, all the time. Another hurdle conquered. 201 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:06,080 Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.