WEBVTT - “I NEED TO SETTLE DOWN” 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:01.400 Hello, Yeah, can you hear me? 0:00:02.040 --> 0:00:02.280 Yeah? 0:00:02.320 --> 0:00:02.680 What's up? 0:00:02.680 --> 0:00:02.840 Man? 0:00:02.840 --> 0:00:03.400 What's your name? 0:00:03.560 --> 0:00:05.880 My name is Austin, Austin Corey. 0:00:06.200 --> 0:00:08.760 Austin Corey. I'll take a for why not first and 0:00:08.840 --> 0:00:09.360 last name. 0:00:10.560 --> 0:00:11.200 It's all good. 0:00:11.520 --> 0:00:15.840 That's good. We can use that for something. What's going on, 0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:19.480 Austin Corey. What's happening with you today? 0:00:20.680 --> 0:00:21.040 Oh? 0:00:21.120 --> 0:00:24.480 Nothing much. I'm at work right now smoking a blunt. 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:25.759 I can't believe I got through to you. 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:29.960 Have we spoken before, we've. 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:30.800 Actually met before. 0:00:30.880 --> 0:00:34.080 I don't know if it's like okay to say or whatever. 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:39.040 But we met in Michigan and we went and got 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:40.240 hot dogs. 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:43.960 Yes, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait do 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:47.479 we did? We go to like a diner kind of 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:47.920 a place? 0:00:48.479 --> 0:00:48.800 Yep? 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:52.000 Yep, me and it was me and my cousin Austin. 0:00:52.520 --> 0:00:54.640 Yeah, bro, I got in your fucking truck and we 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:56.720 went to like a diner place. 0:00:56.520 --> 0:00:57.360 Right, yep? 0:00:57.680 --> 0:00:59.360 Yeah, that was me, that was my trust. 0:00:59.400 --> 0:00:59.640 Yeah. 0:01:00.240 --> 0:01:05.040 I remember you, man, Oh man, I remember you, dude. 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:08.680 That was a fun night. Oh yeah, that was a 0:01:08.720 --> 0:01:13.160 fun night. Yeah. That was after oh god, that was 0:01:13.160 --> 0:01:17.280 after Grand Rapids was Grand Ship? Yeah, I was thinking that. 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:19.160 I was thinking that was in Detroit. Yeah, that was 0:01:19.160 --> 0:01:21.440 in Grand Rapids. I had a show in the Pyramid Scheme, 0:01:22.040 --> 0:01:25.479 and I was just, you know, I'm in fucking Grand Rapids, Michigan. 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:27.760 I don't have anything to do, and uh yeah, I 0:01:27.800 --> 0:01:30.640 get in your car and we get high and we 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:33.760 go to this like chili dog place with you, with 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:36.000 you and your cousin. We just chit chat. That was fun. 0:01:36.319 --> 0:01:38.160 That was a fun night, dude, what's up. 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:41.880 I couldn't believe that you actually came with us. I 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:44.679 was like, man, he doesn't know us at all. We 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:47.600 could kidnap him and do weird things and you just 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:49.600 hop right in the truck and it was. It was 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:51.960 one of the best nights I ever had. 0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:55.560 Oh man, I'm so happy to talk to you again. 0:01:55.600 --> 0:01:57.640 That was a fun night for me. Well, yeah, when 0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:00.680 I go on tour, I uh or even when I'm 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:05.920 not just in general, I'm like, I don't know, I 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:08.239 like a good adventure. I like it good let's see 0:02:08.240 --> 0:02:10.280 where this thing goes. And I tend to have a 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:12.840 I did like, I don't know, I'm good at susting 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:14.960 people out, I think. And I didn't have a sense 0:02:15.000 --> 0:02:16.480 from you that you were going to kill me. 0:02:17.680 --> 0:02:18.040 Yeah. 0:02:18.240 --> 0:02:21.400 Yeah, definitely, definitely don't give off killer vibes. 0:02:21.560 --> 0:02:22.720 But I was like, wow. 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:25.240 He's so trusting and you ended up being like the 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:28.799 nicest person ever. I couldn't believe it. Than sorry, I 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:31.120 don't know if this is a good stream you know 0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:35.680 stuff or whatever, but I was like, holy shit, I 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:37.440 want to get Can I give a shout out to 0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:41.840 my cousin that we that we ate with a shout 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:45.560 out to Austin. He he should give you a call sometime. 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:48.160 He I don't want to put his business out there. 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:50.680 But he ended up finding out he had cancer like 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:55.360 right after that, really and a bunch of like yeah, 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:58.760 you remember how you remember how nice he was of 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:00.120 a person and everything? 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:02.040 So is he Is he all right? 0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:04.600 Yeah? Yeah he's okay. 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:06.840 Now, you know, but he just has gone through a 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:10.240 bunch of crazy things since then. I always tell him like, man, 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:12.000 you need to call into the get Go and talk 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:13.360 to him about it. 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:14.760 Is he cancer free now? 0:03:15.440 --> 0:03:15.840 Yeah? 0:03:15.919 --> 0:03:18.200 Yeah? Yeah he's I believe he's all good now? 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:19.880 So oh cool? Good? 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:20.560 Yeah? 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:24.840 Good? So damn are you Are you playing in any 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:26.160 tours again anytime soon? 0:03:26.480 --> 0:03:26.639 Yeah? 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:28.799 I'm I don't know if I'm gonna come back to uh, 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:30.600 Grand I mean, if they'll have me, I'll come back 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:31.639 to Grand Rapids. 0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:34.960 But if I gotta travel to come see, I will 0:03:35.080 --> 0:03:37.280 especially that now like you, I was like, man, I 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:38.320 hope he remembers me. 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:40.960 Yeah, yeah, of course I remember that. Of course I 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:43.080 remember that. Yeah, I'm I'm I'm planning a tour in 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:46.520 twenty twenty six. I'm gonna come to at least like 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:49.520 the big major cities. But yeah, yeah, if there's enough interest, 0:03:49.560 --> 0:03:54.000 I'll definitely come to uh Detroit or Grand rap Yeah. Wait, 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:56.120 hold on, let me see if I wrote I'm gonna 0:03:56.560 --> 0:03:58.840 I mean, I keep a journal. I'm gonna see if 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:01.880 I wrote about the US in my journal at all, 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:05.200 I'm gonna see. Maybe it'll help jog wack. This was in. 0:04:05.480 --> 0:04:08.280 This was in twenty twenty four, and like, when the fuck? 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:10.480 Do you remember what months this was in? 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:13.280 It was sometime in the summer, I believe. 0:04:13.680 --> 0:04:15.360 I don't remember for sure, but. 0:04:15.360 --> 0:04:19.000 I remember we were smoking blunt outside and shorts and 0:04:19.080 --> 0:04:19.680 T shirts. 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:25.920 So yeah, wait, Grand Rapids. Maybe maybe let's see. Did 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:29.640 I did I journal about this shit? I remember we 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:35.400 did it. That was funny shit, man. 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:40.120 Yeah, every time when I meet somebody I new I'm like, hey, 0:04:40.120 --> 0:04:42.719 do you know the therapy echo and they're like yeah, 0:04:42.960 --> 0:04:45.480 I'm like, my guys, my homie. We we went and 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:48.520 got some chili dogs. 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:51.080 Yeah, oh yeah, I wrote here. I was like, I 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:53.960 had a fantastic show that was so much fun at 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:56.960 this tiny punk venue with pinball machines, and then I 0:04:57.000 --> 0:04:59.680 went out to get cony dogs afterwards with these two 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:02.680 dudes named Austin. Wait you guys are you guys are 0:05:02.720 --> 0:05:04.120 both named Austin. 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:07.159 Right, yeah, Austin and Austin. Yeah. 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:09.159 I drove with them in their truck and we hung 0:05:09.200 --> 0:05:11.760 out and ate food and tucked. So there we go. 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:16.520 Damn good to see you again, man. Okay, so what's 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:20.720 so all right? So what's up with you, Austin? What's 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:23.240 been going? Any any updates? I don't remember? I don't 0:05:23.279 --> 0:05:26.039 I know that we met and hung out, but I 0:05:26.120 --> 0:05:28.280 my memory is not good enough to remember exactly what 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:31.000 we talked about when we hung out with each other. 0:05:31.080 --> 0:05:33.560 Any any updates on your life since then? 0:05:34.360 --> 0:05:38.400 Uh? Nothing? Crazy. I got into a fight with my 0:05:38.520 --> 0:05:44.040 cousin a couple of weeks ago. He was he was drunk, 0:05:44.520 --> 0:05:47.880 drunk and acting crazy, so I had to put a 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:55.240 whooping on him. But besides that, nothing, nothing super crazy 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:58.359 to talk about. So I'm just so glad that you answered. 0:05:58.480 --> 0:06:01.359 I was like, holy shit, I'm I'm at work right now, 0:06:01.600 --> 0:06:03.640 but I pulled over as soon as I heard hello. 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:06.880 I was like, oh my gosh, remind me of what 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:08.039 you do for work. 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:13.640 I'm a lawns I work outside and mo lawns, so 0:06:14.320 --> 0:06:15.880 do like landscaping and shit. 0:06:16.080 --> 0:06:18.520 So is that is that an easy job to do 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:21.360 while you're high? It seems like it's a doable job 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:22.840 while you're high. 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.240 It's a very easy job. I think it's easier to 0:06:25.279 --> 0:06:28.600 do while I'm high versus well, I'm not high. When 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:32.480 you're high, it just makes everything smooth and you don't 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:35.600 really care about, you know, things too much, and it 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:39.039 it makes it easier to work with my customers, you know. 0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:42.080 And I'm kind of extra happy and giggly. 0:06:42.279 --> 0:06:42.520 You know. 0:06:42.839 --> 0:06:45.760 All my customers love me. I got a little old 0:06:45.800 --> 0:06:48.200 lady that I mow, and I just left her house 0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:51.320 and she she bakes me a hope like tray of 0:06:51.400 --> 0:06:52.240 sending holes. 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:54.040 Cool. That's awesome. 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:57.359 Yeah, it's a good, good job, and I like to 0:06:57.880 --> 0:07:00.720 I like to work outside where you know, I'm not 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:04.039 I can be outside and be in nature versus being 0:07:04.120 --> 0:07:07.120 locked down in the building all day. I can never 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:09.520 work that work in the building. And you know, like 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:11.880 people that have to ask for permission to go to 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:14.400 the bathroom and stuff. You know, like I'm not in 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:16.720 school anymore. I don't want to have to ask permission 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:18.560 to go to the bathroom. 0:07:19.000 --> 0:07:24.000 Do you just go to the bathroom like on the lawn? 0:07:24.680 --> 0:07:28.280 It depends, you know. I got a couple of properties 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:30.680 where I can do that, but you know, no I 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:34.120 work with I have one person that works with me, 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:37.280 but I'm the boss. So if I want to pull 0:07:37.320 --> 0:07:39.680 over and you know, roll some weed up or pull 0:07:39.720 --> 0:07:41.920 over and go to the bathroom, I can, you know, 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:43.000 do whatever I want. 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:45.720 Does anyone get pissed off of you for getting high 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:46.600 on the job? 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:53.440 Uh? I don't think so. Not that I've never gotten 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:56.880 any complaints. I've only gotten positive things. A couple of 0:07:56.920 --> 0:07:58.920 weeks ago, I had a neighbor come out and give 0:07:58.960 --> 0:08:01.320 me a custom to come out and give me some 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:02.960 weed as a tip. 0:08:03.280 --> 0:08:04.920 So that was pretty cool. 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:09.440 Nice man. When we were talking, do you have a 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:12.640 girlfriend at the time or were you like seeing someone? Uh? 0:08:13.080 --> 0:08:17.000 No, just I've just been banging ladies. Man, lately, I 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:21.120 need to settle down here soon. I'm twenty eight, so 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:23.520 I know I was when we talked. I think I'm 0:08:23.560 --> 0:08:27.920 only like a year older than you. But you know, 0:08:28.040 --> 0:08:30.760 we're kind of getting older, both of us, both me 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:31.480 and you. 0:08:31.480 --> 0:08:33.160 You know, we're kind of losing. 0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:40.120 Losing potential potential mates, you know what I mean. Every 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:42.520 day there's more and more girls our age that are 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:46.960 getting knocked up and getting pregnant, and the first time 0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:48.800 I have a kid, I would like to hopefully have 0:08:48.880 --> 0:08:52.560 a kid with somebody that doesn't have a child already, 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:56.679 you know, So I definitely need to settle down. How 0:08:56.760 --> 0:09:00.200 do you feel about that I have a lady right now? 0:09:00.800 --> 0:09:03.520 I don't But I get dude, I don't know. I 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:06.600 I disagree with you a little bit in the sense that, like, 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:10.160 I mean, I'm twenty, I'm about to turn twenty eight, 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:13.840 and I'm like, you know, I don't know, like the 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:15.760 way I look at times, like man, you know, if 0:09:15.800 --> 0:09:18.880 I like, fuck, if I just like I could kind 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:25.120 of whatever for the next what uh seven years, and 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:28.319 I'll be thirty five and I could meet a nice 0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:33.120 you know, thirty twenty eight, twenty nine year old lady, 0:09:33.840 --> 0:09:36.720 you know, and then you know, thirty seven, maybe we 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:39.880 have kids. I'm like, there's there's there's room, you know, 0:09:40.000 --> 0:09:47.680 there's room to like do this shit it feels. 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:48.640 You see. 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:51.680 That's kind of how I feel like. I'm in a 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:58.280 position myself where I personally don't want to rush going 0:09:58.360 --> 0:09:59.559 into a relationship. 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:01.520 Exact, I don't want to. I don't want to rush it, 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:03.360 and I don't feel like I have time to rush it. Sorry, sorry, 0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:06.480 go ahead, especially rush. 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:09.559 I definitely don't want to rush having a kid with somebody. 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:14.040 I've seen like so many people you know, have kids 0:10:14.679 --> 0:10:16.880 and then you know, as soon as they have a kid, 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:21.080 their relationship just turns into ship. And uh, you know, 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:25.280 when I finally want to have a kid and feel 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:27.520 like I'm ready to have a kid, you know, I don't. 0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:29.720 I don't want to feel like it's rushed. 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:29.960 You know. 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:33.920 I feel like those kinds of things kinda will come 0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:36.040 to you in a sense, you know, Like I don't 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:39.400 feel like I need to kind of hunt down somebody, 0:10:39.600 --> 0:10:43.320 you know, but I have like like my family will 0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:46.880 say weird things to me like that, like as far 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:50.520 as like oh you need to you know, get check 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:53.480 up with with the girl and you know, have kids 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:58.240 soon blah blah blah. But you know, I kind of 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:00.360 just feel like that's something that will come to me 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:01.400 when the time is right. 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:08.160 Yeah, I've been coming around to the idea of, like, 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:14.120 I don't know, being like a step dead. I think 0:11:14.160 --> 0:11:18.000 I'd like to have kids, but I'm like, if I 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:20.000 don't know, it's I would, dude. I've been thinking about this. 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:26.720 I'm like thinking about like how fucking insane it'll feel, 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:28.880 because I look at having kids as like a far 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:31.440 off thing. But even when I'm like, even if I 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:33.240 do wait the amount of time I want to wait, 0:11:33.679 --> 0:11:35.560 and I'm like or the amount of time I'm waiting 0:11:35.600 --> 0:11:37.920 in my head, and I'm like thirty six, thirty seven, whatever, 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:42.000 I'm still me. You know, I still and I think 0:11:42.200 --> 0:11:45.680 me the idea of looking at a child that I've 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:52.040 created that feels like so freakyly existential to me that 0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:55.440 I'm like, whoa, that's kind of fucking crazy. But it 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:58.240 also it seems so it seems so nice, it seems 0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:00.640 so normal of a thing. It seems like a good 0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:03.360 thing to do with, uh, your life. I mean, it's 0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:07.960 literally the if you have to if you had to go. 0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:14.920 If you had to consult the the User Manual of 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:20.199 your Human Body for the Meaning of Life, it literally 0:12:20.240 --> 0:12:24.320 tells you that your your your objective is to uh, 0:12:24.800 --> 0:12:26.800 you know, is to have sex, but for you know, 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:31.600 for the purpose of procreation. Like that's like the body's 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:35.640 objective is survive by eating food and water and then 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:38.120 pro create. That's in the User man. 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:42.400 Does that stress you out at all? Like the potential 0:12:43.400 --> 0:12:46.680 of like would you be okay with with not having kids? 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:49.560 Well, you know, when I really think about it, it 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:52.960 stresses me out for sure, But I just I'm like, so, 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:58.360 I don't know, I feel like I got some time, 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:01.280 so I'm not stressed out about Yeah, you. 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:07.400 Know, yeah we're still young lads, but you know, fucking 0:13:07.800 --> 0:13:13.120 that clock is is definitely clicking, you know. And I 0:13:13.120 --> 0:13:16.199 I also have a weird thing right now still where 0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:19.280 I don't know if it's it's childish or not, but 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:22.120 I really like to do what I want to do 0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:26.320 when I want to do it, you know, and it's 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:29.200 it's tough when you got a girlfriend, you know, they're like, oh, 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:32.320 let's go shopping, let's do this, let's do this, you know, 0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:35.520 and they'll ask you to go do a bunch of 0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:38.720 things that you might not necessarily want to do, you know, 0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:42.840 and I'm a very very busy guy. So it's but 0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:47.000 at the same time, you know, when if you're just 0:13:47.360 --> 0:13:50.440 having sex with people that you're not in like an 0:13:50.480 --> 0:13:54.720 actual relationship, you know, you don't really get anything meaningful 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:59.200 out of it. And I do miss having a partner 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:02.480 to you know, experience things with. 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:07.040 I guess, yeah, of course, of course I think that. Yeah, 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:09.200 I mean it's a give and take, right because I'm 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:13.400 the same way I'm I'm like, you know, I'm crazy. 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:16.000 I'm like I'm gonna go to Iraq for a week, 0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:18.720 or I'm gonna go out to this random thing or 0:14:18.760 --> 0:14:22.000 do this or try this or whatever, you know. But 0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:27.720 I guess ideally, ideally, whoever I've whoever ends up like 0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:35.120 being you know, my partner probably you know, is like okay, 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:38.360 like knows that I'm like that and is on board 0:14:38.400 --> 0:14:40.840 for it. But you but no matter what, you could 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:44.320 have somebody who's like totally on board, totally whatever. But 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:47.240 you always, if you're you know, living life with another person, 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:51.800 you have to make concessions no matter what, especially if 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:54.640 you like hat another person. Yeah, you gotta make concessions, 0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:59.120 but I think I don't know. I'm not let's talk again. 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:01.480 We gotta talk again in ten years because I don't 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:04.920 have enough information. I don't have enough wisdom to really 0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:10.560 It's true, I don't have enough wisdom to fully engage 0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:13.840 in this conversation with you. I feel like if we 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:15.960 had this conversation, I feel like ourus having this conversation 0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:20.400 now and us having this conversation ten years from now, 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:24.680 we're both gonna have totally different views on it. But 0:15:25.960 --> 0:15:30.080 because I don't know if, I'm like like, I don't know. 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:33.360 I look at my life right now, and I'm you know, 0:15:33.440 --> 0:15:35.680 I'm the single, I live by myself. I don't like 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:38.400 and I'm like, it's some nights's cool. It's like, you know, 0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:41.080 some nights's cool and some nights you're like, oh, I 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:43.400 think the whole point of this was to like build 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:46.920 a real life. And then I'm like, wait, wouldn't it 0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:49.600 be awesome to dude? 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:50.000 Dude? 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:53.960 When I was when I was like fifteen, I used 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:56.280 to I think this is just because I was watching 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.080 Louis a lot. But when I was fifteen, I was like, 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:03.480 I can't wait to be uh divorced you know that, 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:05.760 like that seemed like a cool life to me. I 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:07.760 don't know, not like a cool life, but like, uh 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:10.680 because like my dad was you know, fuck it, my 0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:13.960 my parents got divorced and but my dad was still 0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:15.440 like in my life, and I was like, oh, that 0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:17.160 seems like the good setup is like you have your 0:16:17.200 --> 0:16:21.040 kids half the time. But uh, but I don't know, Adel, 0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:24.280 I'm you know, I'm I'm dumb. I think if I 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:26.640 I think, I think, I think. Me thinking about that 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:30.480 as a fifteen year old in theory is much different 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:37.080 from how I'll actually feel when I have children, you know, yeah, 0:16:37.400 --> 0:16:40.280 because I'm sure, I'm sure when I have children, I'll 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:43.600 be like, I'm sure something like what we wire will 0:16:43.640 --> 0:16:45.400 like rewire in my brain to go. 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:45.560 No. 0:16:45.640 --> 0:16:50.000 I want to be with these people, uh as as 0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:53.760 much as humanly possible, but I don't have the wisdom 0:16:53.800 --> 0:16:57.360 to fully address any of these things yet. 0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:01.000 Yeah, it's it's it's a bit of a double edged sword. 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:06.879 So but okay, yeah, I'm very very glad to hear 0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:08.920 that you're going on tour again, so at least I'll 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:11.840 be able to see you again and in the next year. 0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:14.520 If you're going on tour, sometime, even if I gotta 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:16.479 go a state or two, I'll come see you wherever 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:16.760 you go. 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:20.560 So, you know, if I have I feel like, if 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:24.240 I have kids, I can't be hopping in random high 0:17:24.280 --> 0:17:28.520 strangers trucks in the middle of Michigan to go to 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:31.040 diners at you know, one o'clock in the morning. 0:17:32.119 --> 0:17:37.040 See maybe I can. Like it's then, you know, there's 0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:39.199 so many things you're not able to do. You know, 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:41.800 we would that night would have never happened. 0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:44.960 Then, you know, well, I don't know, Like I don't, Uh, 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:47.840 I don't personally know these people, but like there's like 0:17:47.920 --> 0:17:51.800 comedians like you know, Mark Normand and Joe List and 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:54.480 like you know, other other things like that. I don't 0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:57.760 I don't personally know those guys, but you know, I 0:17:57.800 --> 0:17:59.480 know that they have kids, and I'll hear them talk 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:01.719 about like our lives and I'm like, oh, you can 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:05.080 like have a kid, but still, you know, do do 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:07.399 that kind of shit. So but I don't know, I 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:08.480 don't think it's something to count on. 0:18:09.840 --> 0:18:15.560 Yeah, yeah, that is true, I guess. 0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:18.000 Anyway, But who are these girls that you're banging? 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:23.680 Uh? So it's kind of like a short but long story. 0:18:23.840 --> 0:18:27.719 So it's just that kind of just raindom horrors. So 0:18:27.840 --> 0:18:31.520 I was in a relationship, like well, so I was 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:35.159 in a relationship like five or six years ago, and 0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:40.439 you know, high school sweet sweetheart, blah blah blah. You know, 0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:42.919 I thought she was going to be the one, but she, 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:47.200 you know, ended up doing her thing and we split 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:50.080 up or whatever, and she really did a number on me, 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:55.040 but she so like, we split up, and I got 0:18:55.240 --> 0:18:59.000 and I got together with other girls or whatever, and 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:03.320 then that girl would hit me up and I would 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:08.160 shit on other girls that treated me very very good, 0:19:08.200 --> 0:19:11.200 just to talk to the one I was in love with, 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:12.480 you know, if that makes sense. 0:19:12.880 --> 0:19:16.880 Oh, like this girl, this girl didn't like the other girls, 0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:19.040 so you would talk badly about them to her. 0:19:20.400 --> 0:19:23.080 No, so like the girl I was like, So me 0:19:23.160 --> 0:19:26.199 and the girl broke up my high school sweetheart, So 0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:28.840 I would start banging other girls, you know, and then 0:19:28.880 --> 0:19:31.800 I would get together with somebody and be seeing somebody 0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:34.280 or whatever. And then and then, you know, a couple 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:37.360 months down the road, you know, my high school sweetheart, 0:19:37.440 --> 0:19:40.359 she would get done you know, fucking whoever she was 0:19:40.560 --> 0:19:44.480 or whatever, and then she would call me back. Eventually, 0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:48.359 once she got bored or whatever, but because I was 0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:51.000 in love with her, no matter what kind of girl 0:19:51.080 --> 0:19:53.919 I was with, you know, I was with girls that 0:19:53.960 --> 0:19:57.320 treated me way better than she ever did. But because 0:19:57.400 --> 0:20:00.359 I was in love with her, I would just rop 0:20:00.359 --> 0:20:02.960 whoever I was with the moment she would call me. 0:20:03.200 --> 0:20:05.840 It didn't matter if it was a two months or 0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:10.200 fucking three years, you know, if she called me, I'd 0:20:10.200 --> 0:20:12.680 be like, hey, you know, what's up, you know, and. 0:20:14.320 --> 0:20:15.320 We Uh So. 0:20:16.880 --> 0:20:20.720 That's why I'm fucking horrores now is because I'm still. 0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:22.879 Feeling why wait, why are these wait, why are these 0:20:22.880 --> 0:20:23.680 women whares? 0:20:24.640 --> 0:20:25.160 Uh? 0:20:25.320 --> 0:20:27.760 I guess when I say whoes that' shouldn't mean whes 0:20:28.000 --> 0:20:33.000 like they just there girls that I bang without being 0:20:33.040 --> 0:20:34.080 in a relationship. 0:20:34.520 --> 0:20:38.760 So hey, listen, I guess I got some bad news 0:20:38.760 --> 0:20:40.800 for you, Austin that actually that makes you a whror 0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:41.320 as well. 0:20:42.280 --> 0:20:45.240 Uh yeah, And I wasn't using it in a derogatory 0:20:45.359 --> 0:20:48.080 kind of way, you know, but we're all just freely, 0:20:48.440 --> 0:20:51.879 you know. It's we're taking care of each other's needs 0:20:51.960 --> 0:20:54.399 without the commitment part, you know. 0:20:54.960 --> 0:21:02.080 Yeah, So I'm not I'm I'm pro I'm pro horedom. 0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:05.359 But so like, the only reason why I'm doing that 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:09.240 is because I don't want to get into another relationship 0:21:09.359 --> 0:21:15.119 quite yet while I still have somewhat of feelings for 0:21:15.320 --> 0:21:19.760 another person. That that's saying, you don't, don't bleed on 0:21:19.800 --> 0:21:22.080 somebody that doesn't cut you, you know what I mean. 0:21:22.680 --> 0:21:23.280 I don't want to. 0:21:23.400 --> 0:21:26.960 I don't want to break another girl's heart just because 0:21:27.000 --> 0:21:29.760 I'm being an asshole and I still have feelings for 0:21:29.840 --> 0:21:30.560 somebody else. 0:21:31.119 --> 0:21:33.560 Yeah, all right, Yeah, it sounds like you're in like 0:21:33.680 --> 0:21:39.080 a transitional period right now of like all right, let 0:21:39.160 --> 0:21:42.479 me let me, let me dial all this back and 0:21:42.640 --> 0:21:44.240 figure out what I actually want to do. 0:21:45.520 --> 0:21:48.399 Yeah, So, like you know, I'm just with the you know, 0:21:48.840 --> 0:21:52.600 non non committed relationships because then you don't have to 0:21:52.640 --> 0:21:56.159 worry about, you know, hurting anybody or being hurt in return. 0:21:56.280 --> 0:21:57.760 You know, Yeah, I know what you mean. 0:21:59.200 --> 0:22:01.000 No, no commit know nothing. 0:22:01.359 --> 0:22:01.560 You know. 0:22:02.200 --> 0:22:05.200 It also gives me the freedom to come and go 0:22:05.240 --> 0:22:06.040 with that please. 0:22:06.200 --> 0:22:06.359 You know. 0:22:06.440 --> 0:22:09.520 I can call, you know, a girl on one night, Hey, 0:22:09.560 --> 0:22:11.440 you want to go get some dinner? You know, blah 0:22:11.440 --> 0:22:14.000 blah blah. We go out on a date and if 0:22:14.000 --> 0:22:17.840 something happens, sweet, if not, you know, so I had 0:22:17.880 --> 0:22:20.040 a good time anyways, mm hmmmmm. 0:22:21.480 --> 0:22:24.400 Yeah, that's a that's a that's kind of a yeah, 0:22:24.440 --> 0:22:26.879 it's very that's a that's a nicely low stakes place 0:22:26.920 --> 0:22:27.119 to be. 0:22:28.480 --> 0:22:30.840 Yes, you know, you can't get can't get hurt in 0:22:30.920 --> 0:22:33.600 that zone, you know, And I've I've had a lot 0:22:33.640 --> 0:22:35.880 of hurt in my life, and I don't think I can. 0:22:37.880 --> 0:22:39.840 I just don't want to take any more quite at 0:22:39.880 --> 0:22:44.840 this point. But yeah, you know, I I I missed 0:22:45.160 --> 0:22:48.439 the I do miss being in a committed relationship. Just 0:22:49.359 --> 0:22:50.960 it's been a couple of years since I've been in 0:22:50.960 --> 0:22:56.160 a committed relationship, and I'm doing pretty well in life, 0:22:56.760 --> 0:23:00.720 and I just want to be able to. 0:22:59.760 --> 0:23:02.000 Share my wealth. 0:23:02.680 --> 0:23:04.199 Like I don't have like a bunch of money, but 0:23:04.320 --> 0:23:06.359 I just I'm doing good and I want to do 0:23:06.520 --> 0:23:08.560 good with somebody, if sense. 0:23:08.760 --> 0:23:10.480 No, that makes a lot of sense. I mean yeah, 0:23:10.480 --> 0:23:12.720 that's what like every song on the planet Earth is 0:23:12.720 --> 0:23:16.080 written about, right, is like you gotta is like, yeah, 0:23:16.240 --> 0:23:20.280 like this isn't a this is just like an analysis 0:23:20.400 --> 0:23:24.159 is like yeah, to really like build a thing or 0:23:25.320 --> 0:23:29.399 you know, allow yourself to whatever, you gotta enter into 0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:33.199 something that both allows you to that above opens you 0:23:33.280 --> 0:23:35.320 up to an extreme amount of pain and then and 0:23:35.320 --> 0:23:38.240 then opens another person up to an extreme amount of 0:23:38.320 --> 0:23:41.520 pain and then the stakes become fucking higher. 0:23:42.960 --> 0:23:43.200 Yeah. 0:23:43.240 --> 0:23:45.000 But that but also but you know, I mean, that's 0:23:45.320 --> 0:23:48.720 that's all of life. That's all of life is like 0:23:49.680 --> 0:23:53.919 you know, your high risk, high reward you know. 0:23:55.240 --> 0:23:58.760 Yeah, do you think you're gonna be in a relationship 0:23:58.800 --> 0:24:04.600 anytime soon? I've got anything talking to I'm. 0:24:04.480 --> 0:24:11.320 Kind of I don't know, I'm enjoying. Uh, I'm just 0:24:11.400 --> 0:24:13.280 I'm just like kind of living my life right now. 0:24:15.040 --> 0:24:21.320 I was I think I was maybe thinking about that 0:24:21.359 --> 0:24:24.000 stuff more. But I'm just living my life right now. 0:24:24.040 --> 0:24:25.160 I feel pretty good about it. 0:24:27.800 --> 0:24:29.320 You said you feel pretty good about it. 0:24:29.720 --> 0:24:34.120 Yeah, I mean i'd like, I'd like to do something 0:24:34.160 --> 0:24:36.880 in the future, but I don't know. I'm enjoying living 0:24:36.880 --> 0:24:37.640 my life right now. 0:24:38.800 --> 0:24:43.040 Yeah, I'm glad that, you know, it makes me feel better. 0:24:43.800 --> 0:24:43.960 Yeah. 0:24:44.040 --> 0:24:48.760 Here's somebody else. Kanda has the same thoughts and viewpoints. 0:24:48.760 --> 0:24:51.800 We're kind of we're young guys. Man, we're young guys. 0:24:51.880 --> 0:24:54.120 I don't think that we're uh, you know, I think 0:24:54.119 --> 0:24:54.760 we'll be okay. 0:24:56.200 --> 0:24:59.080 Yeah, Yeah, we're you know, how old are you? Twenty seven? 0:24:59.359 --> 0:25:03.760 Twenty seven, twenty seven, I'm twenty eight, so I thought, 0:25:03.800 --> 0:25:05.800 I told myself. I was like, man, you know, if 0:25:05.800 --> 0:25:08.440 I don't have something going on by thirty, I got 0:25:08.440 --> 0:25:09.399 something to worry about. 0:25:09.520 --> 0:25:12.359 But you got plenty going on. You have a truck, 0:25:12.440 --> 0:25:17.040 you have a job, you're doing all right? 0:25:18.200 --> 0:25:30.320 Yeah, yeah, Do you have anything planned out for your 0:25:30.359 --> 0:25:31.080 new tour yet? 0:25:32.119 --> 0:25:35.159 Uh? I know I'm gonna do. My plan is to 0:25:35.240 --> 0:25:41.240 do like half I think I think on my in 0:25:41.320 --> 0:25:46.719 my last tours, the show was like thirty percent my 0:25:46.720 --> 0:25:51.560 own material and seventy percent dicking around with the audience. 0:25:51.640 --> 0:25:54.040 And I think for the next one I want, I'm 0:25:54.200 --> 0:25:57.440 I'm hoping, I'm aiming it's gonna be some. It's gonna 0:25:57.440 --> 0:25:59.840 take some time to work on, but I'm hoping it'll 0:25:59.840 --> 0:26:04.800 be like half my own material, half took it around 0:26:04.840 --> 0:26:05.560 with the audience. 0:26:06.640 --> 0:26:11.840 Oh yeah, yeah, well yeah, well that's showing Greenough is 0:26:11.840 --> 0:26:12.720 a super fun. 0:26:13.600 --> 0:26:16.000 Thanks man, I appreciate that. Uh dude, it was. It 0:26:16.040 --> 0:26:17.800 was great. It was great talking to you again. This 0:26:17.880 --> 0:26:19.840 is I'm reminiscing now about that night. That was a 0:26:19.840 --> 0:26:20.320 fun time. 0:26:21.440 --> 0:26:22.080 Yeah. 0:26:22.240 --> 0:26:22.439 Is that? 0:26:23.440 --> 0:26:24.840 Is there anything else you want to say to the 0:26:25.160 --> 0:26:27.480 people of the computer before we get out of here? 0:26:28.560 --> 0:26:28.800 Uh? 0:26:28.920 --> 0:26:30.840 No, I just want to give one more shout out 0:26:30.880 --> 0:26:33.280 to my cousin, Austin Heath, the one that was there 0:26:33.280 --> 0:26:36.080 eating half dogs with us that night. Besides that, I'm 0:26:36.080 --> 0:26:40.800 all good appliche it. Well, you have a good day. 0:26:41.080 --> 0:26:47.520 They take care, Austin. Thank you. It is raining hard 0:26:47.600 --> 0:26:50.240 out there. It is raining a lot. 0:26:51.359 --> 0:26:51.560 Hi. 0:26:51.640 --> 0:26:53.720 Who is this? 0:26:53.400 --> 0:26:53.560 Oh? 0:26:53.720 --> 0:26:54.320 This is Mike. 0:26:54.560 --> 0:26:55.280 What's going on? 0:26:55.440 --> 0:26:58.720 Man, dude, I'm in a very weird crossroads in life 0:26:58.800 --> 0:27:01.800 right now. Tell me, I'm about to graduate with my 0:27:01.880 --> 0:27:08.359 degree in finance, right about to join the whole business world, 0:27:08.440 --> 0:27:13.080 the whole like numbers, data and houses all that. But then, Mike, 0:27:13.880 --> 0:27:17.240 I'm a very creative person. So on the side, I'm 0:27:17.280 --> 0:27:21.560 gonna keep writing. You know. I want to write short stories, 0:27:21.600 --> 0:27:23.120 I want to write books and all that. I've been 0:27:23.359 --> 0:27:27.919 writing for years. And it's just a very very strange 0:27:27.920 --> 0:27:31.320 place to be in because I'm I just I couldn't 0:27:31.320 --> 0:27:33.520 put all my eggs and one basket ghoth writing and 0:27:33.560 --> 0:27:36.280 I had to, you know, do some professional to support it. 0:27:36.280 --> 0:27:41.240 At the same time. Also, I'm Appalachian, So if that's 0:27:41.240 --> 0:27:43.000 interesting to you, we can talk about that as well. 0:27:43.400 --> 0:27:45.439 What is it? What does that mean? You're Appalachian, Like 0:27:45.520 --> 0:27:46.680 you're from Appalaysia. 0:27:47.760 --> 0:27:52.199 Yeah, I'm like, I am from Appalachia. My family's been 0:27:52.240 --> 0:27:57.760 there for generations. So I'm not super into, like, you know, 0:27:58.040 --> 0:28:00.280 the culture and all that. I'm just saying that's the 0:28:00.320 --> 0:28:03.359 area of grew up in. And it's a it's a 0:28:03.960 --> 0:28:05.520 When I'm saying I'm not super into the area, I 0:28:05.520 --> 0:28:08.040 don't mean like I hated or something. I just don't 0:28:08.080 --> 0:28:11.680 mean I'm like full gun ho Appalachian. 0:28:11.960 --> 0:28:18.160 Just you know what I'm saying, remind me briefly of 0:28:18.200 --> 0:28:21.119 the culture of the area. 0:28:21.359 --> 0:28:25.040 So Appalachia, one of the like the biggest part of 0:28:25.040 --> 0:28:27.399 the culture is just for a long time there was 0:28:27.440 --> 0:28:30.320 these groups of people who would just live out in 0:28:30.320 --> 0:28:32.680 the woods and just like a family or just like 0:28:32.720 --> 0:28:35.680 a single like a like a group of families or 0:28:35.680 --> 0:28:38.840 a single family in a house, just living out isolated 0:28:38.920 --> 0:28:42.200 for years, maybe decades, you know, just learning to live 0:28:42.240 --> 0:28:46.080 off the land and having a very you know, self 0:28:47.040 --> 0:28:50.400 made culture, that sort of thing, very different dialogue, different 0:28:50.400 --> 0:28:54.440 ways speaking, that sort of thing. And it's just it's 0:28:54.480 --> 0:28:58.760 just an odd place, man. And the whole culture of 0:28:58.840 --> 0:29:02.320 like people being like self sufficient, it's still part of it. 0:29:02.400 --> 0:29:04.880 And it's odd to see Apple Latcha also updating to 0:29:04.920 --> 0:29:09.920 the modern world at the same time, because it's it's 0:29:10.080 --> 0:29:14.960 you know, we live in well, this is something interesting 0:29:14.960 --> 0:29:18.360 about being from Appalacha, right, So in the modern age 0:29:18.400 --> 0:29:23.120 there's like tech and YadA YadA, and everyone's like, oh, 0:29:23.240 --> 0:29:25.760 from the sixties or eighties, it was all different. We 0:29:26.000 --> 0:29:28.959 have always been twenty years behind here. So while everyone 0:29:29.000 --> 0:29:34.440 else in like every other state was going through, you know, 0:29:34.480 --> 0:29:37.000 being modernized and like, you know, in the twenty tens 0:29:37.120 --> 0:29:42.960 being all I don't know what exactly the word is, 0:29:43.120 --> 0:29:45.960 just being like having a much more modernized culture, we'd 0:29:45.960 --> 0:29:48.720 all look outside that and we'd still be kind of 0:29:48.800 --> 0:29:52.200 stuck in like the eighties or nineties. It always felt like, 0:29:52.280 --> 0:29:52.560 you know. 0:29:55.080 --> 0:29:57.960 That makes sense, Yeah, that makes sense. How old are you. 0:29:59.400 --> 0:29:59.840 Twenty one? 0:30:00.040 --> 0:30:02.920 I know actually twenty one and diviy do you feel 0:30:02.960 --> 0:30:07.000 like you grew up in the eighties kind of? 0:30:07.200 --> 0:30:11.720 I mean, my my parents are a bit of an 0:30:11.720 --> 0:30:16.120 exception because they were both engineers. But it's like whenever 0:30:16.120 --> 0:30:18.080 I would walk outside of my house and it's like 0:30:18.760 --> 0:30:21.920 my high school had bringer tractor to school day and 0:30:22.000 --> 0:30:25.520 I'd have to be and you know that's not something 0:30:25.560 --> 0:30:27.360 that was just specific to the eighties, but like the 0:30:27.400 --> 0:30:30.880 way people talk, the way people still drive older cars, 0:30:31.040 --> 0:30:34.560 just the kind of culture. You know, it's not we 0:30:34.760 --> 0:30:37.800 just did not we just we just don't modernize. We 0:30:38.000 --> 0:30:40.160 just didn't modernize as quickly as everyone else. We're getting 0:30:40.160 --> 0:30:44.000 to that point now because I don't think there's really 0:30:45.160 --> 0:30:49.120 any way to like run from that modern modernization anymore. 0:30:50.040 --> 0:30:53.640 But just yeah, it just felt like I was living 0:30:53.680 --> 0:30:54.760 in a different time period. 0:30:55.680 --> 0:30:59.120 So well, let's get back to you. What's your crossroads? 0:30:59.160 --> 0:31:03.640 And then maybe I wonder if in some way, shape 0:31:03.680 --> 0:31:06.200 or form, your environment has led to whatever's going on 0:31:06.280 --> 0:31:07.320 with your crossroads. 0:31:09.920 --> 0:31:15.600 The crossroads, Yeah, it's I was I was a nice slated, 0:31:15.920 --> 0:31:18.560 like younger guy when I was younger as well. It's 0:31:18.600 --> 0:31:21.280 just part of what it is. It's a lot less 0:31:21.280 --> 0:31:24.280 frowned upon I guess it kind of the way it 0:31:24.360 --> 0:31:26.440 used to be was everyone got raised by everyone else. 0:31:26.480 --> 0:31:31.160 So you know, when it was more okay that just 0:31:31.240 --> 0:31:33.280 when you could like sit on your computer and socialize 0:31:33.320 --> 0:31:36.320 people through the computer, then a lot of that kind 0:31:36.320 --> 0:31:38.360 of just happened to a lot of people, I think 0:31:38.360 --> 0:31:40.480 in my town. I don't know if that exactly makes sense. 0:31:40.480 --> 0:31:43.440 What I'm saying is I just got a long history 0:31:43.480 --> 0:31:53.240 of just being just cooked in. Sorry, man, trying to explain. 0:31:53.320 --> 0:31:55.000 So what do you mean by I explained my crossroads 0:31:55.000 --> 0:31:56.320 to explain writing? 0:31:56.640 --> 0:31:58.479 Well, hold on, first of all, everything, First of all, 0:31:58.520 --> 0:32:01.040 everything you've said so far makes perfect, So there's no 0:32:01.080 --> 0:32:07.880 reason to get flustered or frustrated. Well, okay, I mean 0:32:07.920 --> 0:32:10.200 a lot of things. Well one, first of all, what 0:32:10.240 --> 0:32:13.160 I mean by explaining your crossroads is you can't. The 0:32:13.240 --> 0:32:16.960 first thing you said on the phone pretty much was 0:32:16.960 --> 0:32:20.040 that you're at a crossroads. So that's, uh, that's what 0:32:20.080 --> 0:32:26.360 I mean. But okay, so you grew up feeling pretty isolated, 0:32:26.400 --> 0:32:28.120 Like you feel like you grew up on a computer. 0:32:30.080 --> 0:32:32.760 Yeah, it was. I grew up on a computer, and 0:32:32.800 --> 0:32:36.480 I just grew up in like, even outside the computer, 0:32:36.560 --> 0:32:39.520 it was an isolated type of area. I grew up 0:32:39.720 --> 0:32:46.800 just reading, listening to you know, YouTube and kind of 0:32:46.800 --> 0:32:49.760 sort of stuff and like playing video games. And I 0:32:49.760 --> 0:32:52.840 think that really it was bad for me in a 0:32:52.880 --> 0:32:55.440 lot of ways. But all those years of like not brooding, 0:32:55.480 --> 0:32:58.560 brooding sounds a little darker, but just like brooding with 0:32:58.760 --> 0:33:01.640 all these creative outlets on line and just sitting in 0:33:01.760 --> 0:33:03.560 my room and really having a lot of time to 0:33:04.040 --> 0:33:07.480 introspect like deeply, like for months at a time on 0:33:07.560 --> 0:33:11.400 a certain thing I think really led me to have 0:33:11.480 --> 0:33:15.800 all this like emotion and thoughts I kind of built up, 0:33:15.840 --> 0:33:18.480 and eventually in my teens there was just like nowhere 0:33:18.520 --> 0:33:20.360 else to go, and it just went to writing. 0:33:24.320 --> 0:33:28.360 And the crossroads. You're graduating soon from college. 0:33:28.280 --> 0:33:36.000 This December, Yeah, and what are the crossroads? It's I'm 0:33:36.040 --> 0:33:39.560 passing the point of like not like being able to 0:33:39.680 --> 0:33:42.840 just not give a shit. I guess like before I 0:33:42.880 --> 0:33:46.880 could just sit around and just do nothing and play 0:33:47.000 --> 0:33:49.960 video games and all that, and now I'm I can 0:33:50.040 --> 0:33:52.720 either fall back into that and just you know, isolate 0:33:52.760 --> 0:33:55.560 myself again and go back to my hometown and just 0:33:56.400 --> 0:33:59.040 live in my parents' basement, then do nothing for a 0:33:59.040 --> 0:34:01.960 while and keep telling myself some will happen, or I 0:34:02.040 --> 0:34:05.560 can get out of that and seriously, like have to 0:34:05.560 --> 0:34:08.280 work seriously to support myself with like a finance career, 0:34:09.200 --> 0:34:11.319 and then at the same time, you know, hold onto 0:34:11.320 --> 0:34:15.520 my dreams of writing and like write at the same time. 0:34:15.600 --> 0:34:19.839 So it's just it's maybe crossroads isn't the right word, 0:34:20.000 --> 0:34:22.320 just a very large it's very. 0:34:22.719 --> 0:34:26.280 Transition, very odd transitionary period. Yeah, okay, good, I'm glad. 0:34:26.320 --> 0:34:28.719 I'm glad to hear you say that crossroads isn't the 0:34:28.719 --> 0:34:31.920 word because that means that you've chosen. Because when you 0:34:31.960 --> 0:34:35.319 were referring to this as a crossroads, the crossroad was 0:34:35.320 --> 0:34:42.400 between uh, pursuing something with your life that will engage 0:34:42.400 --> 0:34:47.920 you creatively and allow you some form of financial success 0:34:48.560 --> 0:34:51.040 and allow you to see the world and move out stuff. 0:34:51.600 --> 0:34:54.400 In the other road is to go back home and 0:34:55.520 --> 0:35:00.080 play video games in your mom's basement. Not judging, but 0:35:00.120 --> 0:35:03.200 that that's what you referred to as the crossroads. 0:35:03.400 --> 0:35:06.560 Yeah, it's I mean, even in college, a lot of 0:35:06.600 --> 0:35:09.560 times it would be I would still have that same 0:35:09.719 --> 0:35:13.240 sort of like air that I had, like air about myself, like, well, 0:35:13.840 --> 0:35:15.840 I can kind of goof off now, there's plenty, plenty 0:35:15.840 --> 0:35:18.160 of time. And I guess cross was just like I'm 0:35:18.360 --> 0:35:22.120 I'm passing that now. And just this huge transition from 0:35:22.160 --> 0:35:26.839 going to is is very different, like and it's just 0:35:26.840 --> 0:35:29.560 a weird, a weird place to be into like trying 0:35:29.600 --> 0:35:32.759 to build like a very professional cold and you know, 0:35:32.880 --> 0:35:35.520 non creative career and building a creative career at the 0:35:35.560 --> 0:35:38.680 same time and doing all that while moving away from 0:35:38.920 --> 0:35:42.120 you know, I I was always like a harder worker 0:35:42.160 --> 0:35:46.400 than most people. But it's it's so weird, like like, 0:35:46.480 --> 0:35:49.320 looking back, I see myself as so lazy before, which 0:35:49.560 --> 0:35:51.920 I mean, I have to have expectations if I want 0:35:51.920 --> 0:35:53.719 this stuff to work out, and I mean like work 0:35:53.719 --> 0:35:55.520 all day type of expectations. 0:35:55.719 --> 0:36:00.680 M m hm uh, well, yeah, I have multiple thought. 0:36:00.920 --> 0:36:05.440 One is if I don't know, if you have a 0:36:05.480 --> 0:36:07.520 father to say this to you, but I'm proud of 0:36:07.560 --> 0:36:17.719 you because like, yeah, uh, it's pretty easy if you 0:36:17.840 --> 0:36:23.719 want to to not fucking do anything. And our and yeah, 0:36:24.120 --> 0:36:28.879 our developments, I mean, I don't know, you're uh, you're 0:36:28.920 --> 0:36:31.279 a solid bit. You're a solid bit younger than me, 0:36:31.440 --> 0:36:36.719 six years younger than me. But I also feel like, I, 0:36:36.960 --> 0:36:38.400 you know, I don't feel like I grew up on 0:36:38.440 --> 0:36:40.759 a computer, but I had the same you know, we 0:36:40.800 --> 0:36:42.719 had social media, and we had Facebook, and we had 0:36:42.760 --> 0:36:46.680 fucking uh zoo pop trop pop troppic That's what I'm 0:36:46.680 --> 0:36:47.080 trying to think of. 0:36:47.120 --> 0:36:48.839 We had pop drop. 0:36:49.080 --> 0:36:50.680 Yeah, okay, all right, so we're on the same we're 0:36:50.680 --> 0:36:55.600 in the same boat a little bit. But uh, and yeah, 0:36:56.200 --> 0:36:58.080 it would be easy for you if you wanted to 0:36:58.080 --> 0:37:00.080 just stay in Appalachia, live in your mom's base and 0:37:01.960 --> 0:37:04.440 continue to not do anything. But I don't think that's 0:37:04.920 --> 0:37:10.480 what you want. And I and I get that. There's 0:37:10.560 --> 0:37:11.520 a hard transition. 0:37:12.360 --> 0:37:12.560 Yeah. 0:37:12.560 --> 0:37:14.520 I remember when I was I remember, yeah, when I 0:37:14.560 --> 0:37:19.440 was twenty two, I uh had this moment because I 0:37:19.480 --> 0:37:21.279 had also I had also kind of been spending my 0:37:21.280 --> 0:37:24.520 whole life. You know, I was being creative and I 0:37:24.520 --> 0:37:26.359 was making movies and I was doing things, and I 0:37:26.400 --> 0:37:29.520 had this Uh. I mean, you know, I'm lucky. I 0:37:29.520 --> 0:37:33.440 had a really I had a privileged upbringing. But I 0:37:33.440 --> 0:37:37.279 remember I had this. I had this thought where I 0:37:37.360 --> 0:37:40.680 was like, oh shit, I'm going to graduate college and 0:37:40.760 --> 0:37:42.560 I have to make I have to find out how 0:37:42.600 --> 0:37:47.319 to make money. I can't just like stick off. Yeah, 0:37:47.360 --> 0:37:50.239 and I had that same realization where I'm like, oh, 0:37:50.280 --> 0:37:53.640 I have to make money. Do I'm having I'm twenty seven, 0:37:53.640 --> 0:38:00.560 I'm having that realization now, you know, like, uh, I 0:38:00.680 --> 0:38:04.319 have to make money. I have to do a thing 0:38:04.400 --> 0:38:06.239 to create a life and make money and I have 0:38:06.320 --> 0:38:08.399 to really work at that. And it's and it's real 0:38:08.440 --> 0:38:14.920 and it's really real. So I I go ahead, Well, there's. 0:38:14.800 --> 0:38:16.880 Not much like a staying business has left in my 0:38:17.600 --> 0:38:19.719 on my brain because like, you know, you're you do 0:38:19.840 --> 0:38:21.719 creative work. And as soon as you said make money, 0:38:21.800 --> 0:38:23.680 my first thought was to ask you, like, well, how 0:38:23.719 --> 0:38:26.640 are you you know? Uh, are you target? Are you 0:38:26.719 --> 0:38:28.880 looking at the right target market? And YadA YadA, and 0:38:28.920 --> 0:38:32.160 what's your ro o I? It's just stupid ship like that, 0:38:32.960 --> 0:38:35.719 you know what I mean? But the consulting mode. 0:38:36.360 --> 0:38:38.680 But you know what, good man, good, it sounds like 0:38:38.760 --> 0:38:45.279 you have good. It's good. Don't be uh like, don't 0:38:45.320 --> 0:38:49.000 be ashamed of wanting to be in business and want 0:38:49.080 --> 0:38:51.279 and you know, thinking about your KPIs and your ro 0:38:51.280 --> 0:38:54.880 O I s and whatever, right, Like, don't be ashamed 0:38:54.880 --> 0:39:01.759 of it. It's it's uh like fuck man. Like money, 0:39:01.920 --> 0:39:03.840 money is real, you know. 0:39:05.360 --> 0:39:05.400 It. 0:39:05.680 --> 0:39:09.160 It it's real. It's the thing that you use to 0:39:09.600 --> 0:39:12.319 to kind of build a life for yourself. You can 0:39:12.400 --> 0:39:14.040 do it. You can live a life without money, but 0:39:14.280 --> 0:39:20.320 it's hard. Yeah, And I don't think that there's anything 0:39:20.360 --> 0:39:23.320 inherently evil about you being like I want to go 0:39:23.360 --> 0:39:25.319 into business and I want to try to make money. 0:39:25.400 --> 0:39:29.520 And also like you said, you you you, I'm so 0:39:29.600 --> 0:39:31.080 sorry that I forgot about this, but you said you 0:39:31.160 --> 0:39:32.840 have a creative outlet, which what was what did you 0:39:32.880 --> 0:39:35.440 mentioned your creative outlet was writing? 0:39:35.800 --> 0:39:38.360 Actually I do horror story writing. 0:39:38.840 --> 0:39:43.560 Cool. Look, man, I want you to know you, uh, 0:39:44.239 --> 0:39:47.719 don't don't be afraid of this transition, Like, don't don't 0:39:47.760 --> 0:39:52.320 be afraid, in fact, in fact, every every part of 0:39:52.440 --> 0:39:58.400 the because you can build a really nice life. You 0:39:58.440 --> 0:39:59.719 can build a really nice life. 0:40:00.600 --> 0:40:02.520 Go ahead from from Like, when you went through this 0:40:02.600 --> 0:40:06.120 transitional period, do you were like the same thing you 0:40:06.160 --> 0:40:08.160 talked about. Did you ever look back and it just 0:40:09.160 --> 0:40:11.360 it shocked or even just hurt you. I kind of 0:40:11.480 --> 0:40:14.439 see like the time you wait, I don't know. Maybe 0:40:14.480 --> 0:40:16.080 this is something basic and I don't even need to 0:40:16.120 --> 0:40:17.920 point it out because everyone's gone through it. But just 0:40:18.920 --> 0:40:20.440 how much of a shock is it for you to 0:40:20.520 --> 0:40:22.799 look back on yourself, like even just six years ago, 0:40:23.480 --> 0:40:25.200 is it like, oh, I can still relate to them 0:40:25.280 --> 0:40:28.040 for that guy a lot, or do you feel like 0:40:28.160 --> 0:40:29.120 you've changed? 0:40:29.520 --> 0:40:31.520 Like No, I feel like I feel like I can 0:40:31.640 --> 0:40:35.960 relate heavily to that guy I was thinking about. I 0:40:36.080 --> 0:40:39.000 was reading journals from six years ago, and I was like, 0:40:39.920 --> 0:40:43.879 I feel like I think when I think about six 0:40:44.000 --> 0:40:46.800 years ago, I'm like that guy was angry and I 0:40:47.040 --> 0:40:49.520 and I was reading journals that were angry journals. I 0:40:49.560 --> 0:40:52.879 was reading journals that were sad journals. I was reading 0:40:53.000 --> 0:40:56.880 journals that were ambitious journals. I was reading journals that 0:40:57.120 --> 0:41:06.240 were happy journals. And in the happiness and the anger, 0:41:06.320 --> 0:41:08.680 and the sadness and and the ambition, I felt all. 0:41:08.880 --> 0:41:12.080 I felt them, and I can all of those feelings. 0:41:13.200 --> 0:41:16.520 They're still with me, but I can deal with But 0:41:16.600 --> 0:41:19.000 I'm more mature now, I have more information, i have 0:41:19.080 --> 0:41:24.520 more knowledge, so as I navigate those familiar emotions, I'm 0:41:25.440 --> 0:41:28.640 it's still me like any like I have sadnesses and 0:41:28.719 --> 0:41:31.719 angers and ambitions and joys at twenty seven that I 0:41:31.760 --> 0:41:34.759 had when I was twenty one that are that come 0:41:34.840 --> 0:41:36.960 from that are similar things where I could write a 0:41:37.040 --> 0:41:39.719 journal now that would sound like I. If I wrote 0:41:39.719 --> 0:41:41.160 a journal that I wouldn't sound like I wrote it 0:41:41.200 --> 0:41:46.800 at twenty one. But the emotions are still there. Do 0:41:46.840 --> 0:41:47.600 you know what I'm saying? 0:41:48.800 --> 0:41:51.080 No, I see what you're saying. I guess I didn't 0:41:51.160 --> 0:41:52.560 kind of look at it like that, because when I 0:41:53.440 --> 0:41:56.160 look back, I think like me and the teenager me 0:41:56.200 --> 0:41:59.360 are like two completely different persons. But I you know, 0:41:59.440 --> 0:42:02.640 I guess. I don't know. I guess the emotions we 0:42:02.719 --> 0:42:05.600 feel are always the same. I don't know. Maybe that's 0:42:05.640 --> 0:42:07.520 a maybe that's kind of what you're saying. 0:42:08.000 --> 0:42:12.040 Well, well, well, what's helpful for you right now? 0:42:15.000 --> 0:42:18.080 It's creative, like doing creative stuff like right now, I'm 0:42:18.120 --> 0:42:21.440 also trying to move away from you know, getting stuck 0:42:21.520 --> 0:42:24.560 down like dopamine spirals. I guess is the word of 0:42:24.680 --> 0:42:30.200 just like scrolling Instagram or whatever, and doing more fulfilling, 0:42:30.320 --> 0:42:33.719 creative work like the probably the enjoyment I get from 0:42:33.840 --> 0:42:38.680 five hours of or like the comfort or you know, 0:42:38.760 --> 0:42:40.440 what helps me after one day, what I would get 0:42:40.480 --> 0:42:42.560 from five hours of like scrolling, I could probably get 0:42:42.600 --> 0:42:45.399 from like ten to thirty minutes of like really good 0:42:45.400 --> 0:42:49.160 writing and seeing yeah yeah, seeing myself actually do something 0:42:49.400 --> 0:42:51.840 meaningful and creative and that that helps a lot. Or 0:42:52.080 --> 0:42:54.239 like playing guitar, not even playing it well, just like 0:42:55.239 --> 0:42:58.240 snacking the strings and just kind of feeling that flow. 0:42:58.840 --> 0:43:03.920 Yeah yeah, yeah I can, I can. I this is 0:43:04.160 --> 0:43:08.040 new advice that I'm playing around with to myself. But 0:43:10.360 --> 0:43:12.439 just try to love. Just you gotta love your life, 0:43:13.560 --> 0:43:17.759 you know, like uh, like yeah, you're gonna go get it. 0:43:17.960 --> 0:43:21.520 You're gonna do something in finance that'll take a lot 0:43:21.560 --> 0:43:23.719 of hours. I don't know if it's I don't know 0:43:23.800 --> 0:43:25.520 what the job market is like where you're at. I'm 0:43:25.520 --> 0:43:27.440 not gonna pretend like I do. But if you can 0:43:27.480 --> 0:43:29.680 find a little thing that makes you, if you can 0:43:29.719 --> 0:43:31.360 find something, if you can find something that makes you 0:43:32.200 --> 0:43:37.120 enough money and leaves you enough time to write and 0:43:37.320 --> 0:43:42.040 see your family and your friends, then just start and 0:43:42.280 --> 0:43:48.200 just like maintain. I think I'm figuring it out a 0:43:48.239 --> 0:43:49.920 little bit. I'm not saying I've fully figured it out, 0:43:49.960 --> 0:43:52.719 but I'm like, I'm like getting a little For a 0:43:52.800 --> 0:43:55.440 long time, I've been thinking about, like, Okay, how do 0:43:55.560 --> 0:43:58.959 I remain ambitious and remain wanting more for my life 0:43:59.400 --> 0:44:02.440 but also so be happy at the same time. And 0:44:02.480 --> 0:44:05.239 I'm getting a little hints of maybe figuring it out. 0:44:06.080 --> 0:44:09.680 And uh, I think the the key And it's harder 0:44:09.719 --> 0:44:11.800 when you're younger, it's easier when you're older. But the 0:44:11.960 --> 0:44:14.040 key is like, just start love on your life right 0:44:14.080 --> 0:44:18.160 fucking now. Like, don't like, don't wait for a thing 0:44:18.280 --> 0:44:20.279 to happen, don't wait for an amount of money, don't 0:44:20.360 --> 0:44:25.080 wait for uh, some kind of external circumstance. Just start 0:44:25.360 --> 0:44:27.320 love it. Just like every night when you go like 0:44:27.440 --> 0:44:32.120 anything good, Like if you're eating a fucking sandwich, or 0:44:32.520 --> 0:44:35.920 you're applying to a thing, or you get a you 0:44:36.040 --> 0:44:38.640 get a you're from your finance job, you get a 0:44:38.840 --> 0:44:40.399 you look at your bank account and you get your 0:44:40.480 --> 0:44:45.560 direct deposit, or you you're sitting in your house, whether 0:44:45.600 --> 0:44:48.040 you're water or your coffee or whatever, and you're writing. 0:44:48.200 --> 0:44:50.640 Just does any time you get anything, just go. I 0:44:51.120 --> 0:44:54.600 have a good life. Is any time you get anything, 0:44:54.800 --> 0:44:59.719 just go. I have a good life. I still want more. 0:45:00.040 --> 0:45:02.480 I want to make more money. I want to write more. 0:45:02.840 --> 0:45:06.200 I want to explore more. I want to develop relations. 0:45:06.719 --> 0:45:08.600 I want more sandwiches. I want to do all this stuff. 0:45:08.680 --> 0:45:10.759 But and I'm gonna do it. But I just like, 0:45:11.040 --> 0:45:16.840 don't fucking wait to like love your life. So so 0:45:17.040 --> 0:45:21.960 the trends. So that's how I would phrase your transition. 0:45:22.840 --> 0:45:25.719 I appreciate it that. That's a good way to look 0:45:25.760 --> 0:45:28.759 at Yeah, I think I'll use that. I appreciate that 0:45:29.560 --> 0:45:31.000 good good. 0:45:31.680 --> 0:45:32.719 Yeah, it's real out here. 0:45:32.760 --> 0:45:36.080 I get you. Yeah, that reminds me. I'm just gonna 0:45:36.080 --> 0:45:39.160 say this real fast, because go ahead, just right on. 0:45:39.280 --> 0:45:41.600 That that reminds me of like advice I heard like, 0:45:41.719 --> 0:45:44.480 if you if you loved yourself, you treat yourself like 0:45:44.600 --> 0:45:45.880 someone you love. You know what I mean? 0:45:45.960 --> 0:45:48.800 Yeah, yeah, I've been trying to dive more into that. 0:45:49.400 --> 0:45:53.160 You know. That's good man, It's it's tough, but you 0:45:53.200 --> 0:45:55.840 should love your life. And man, I'm glad it sounds 0:45:55.880 --> 0:45:57.960 like you're starting to love your life. Man. You should. 0:45:58.120 --> 0:45:59.600 You're like a get go and you get to talk 0:45:59.640 --> 0:46:02.520 to people all the I go in waves. 0:46:02.600 --> 0:46:05.040 Man, I'm gonna, I'm in. I'm for the last couple 0:46:05.080 --> 0:46:07.120 of weeks. I've been in a good wave and we'll 0:46:07.160 --> 0:46:08.040 see how long it lasts. 0:46:08.080 --> 0:46:08.560 But I I. 0:46:10.040 --> 0:46:11.319 I don't want to go back. I just don't want 0:46:11.360 --> 0:46:13.640 to go back. Fucking don't want to go back. 0:46:14.960 --> 0:46:17.399 Well, what if you don't mind me asking what sends 0:46:17.480 --> 0:46:22.279 you back? Or is that? Or do would you prefer 0:46:22.360 --> 0:46:23.640 the call to be more centered towards me? 0:46:24.239 --> 0:46:26.359 No? No, no, no, that's a that's a good question. 0:46:27.760 --> 0:46:35.320 What sends me back? Well, Uh, loneliness sends me back, 0:46:37.320 --> 0:46:42.759 A yearned yearning sends me back. Letting my brain go 0:46:42.960 --> 0:46:45.760 too far away from reality sends me back. Binge eating 0:46:45.920 --> 0:46:51.840 sends me back, Like fucking. 0:46:52.320 --> 0:46:54.640 I get ben jating that's I feel like a really 0:46:55.280 --> 0:46:58.279 I mean not to get super personal that, so I've 0:46:58.280 --> 0:47:00.799 actually that was for a very long time as well. 0:47:00.960 --> 0:47:03.720 Yeah, oh yeah, I'm. 0:47:03.560 --> 0:47:05.319 Trying to think of it. I could give you there. 0:47:05.360 --> 0:47:08.080 I mean again, I'm younger, so you've probably got way 0:47:08.200 --> 0:47:10.600 better experience like working with it than I do. But 0:47:12.840 --> 0:47:15.920 trying to think, like what works for me? Have you 0:47:15.960 --> 0:47:19.520 ever you ever tried fasting? 0:47:20.360 --> 0:47:21.879 Yeah? Cool, Yeah, definitely it's hard. 0:47:23.080 --> 0:47:26.000 Yeah, I'm just gonna say that's something I've noticed lately 0:47:26.080 --> 0:47:28.560 that has geared me more towards not wanting to eat 0:47:28.560 --> 0:47:31.160 as much. Like, no, I notice when I don't eat it, 0:47:31.360 --> 0:47:33.879 when this is just like a quick thing, I'll say, 0:47:33.880 --> 0:47:35.839 when I faster a little bit, my brain works better. 0:47:36.520 --> 0:47:40.719 And I've started to prefer that state towards bingeingine. I 0:47:40.800 --> 0:47:43.840 think maybe maybe you could ride out or something like 0:47:44.000 --> 0:47:49.520 what feelings you don't enjoy or enjoy about in the 0:47:49.600 --> 0:47:52.080 state of beingining, and the feelings you enjoy and don't 0:47:52.160 --> 0:47:56.080 enjoy about like eating well, and maybe frame them somewhere 0:47:56.160 --> 0:47:58.000 so you can see them every day so you can remember, like, 0:47:58.200 --> 0:48:00.640 I don't prefer that state. I prefer in this state. 0:48:00.719 --> 0:48:03.600 And this is why but maybe you know what's. 0:48:03.800 --> 0:48:06.040 Yeah, that makes perfect sense. You know What's so funny though, 0:48:06.360 --> 0:48:09.800 is uh? And So I'm not saying this to dismiss 0:48:09.840 --> 0:48:14.359 your advice. The the the if I were to print out, 0:48:14.520 --> 0:48:16.000 like if I were to do what you are saying, 0:48:16.400 --> 0:48:18.560 and I were to print out and I were to 0:48:19.480 --> 0:48:22.040 like look like I had it on my phone, I 0:48:22.239 --> 0:48:24.480 was like this and I journaled. I was like, remember, 0:48:24.560 --> 0:48:27.280 this is how you feel when you're not binge eating. 0:48:28.320 --> 0:48:32.240 I could look at that, and if I'm binge eating, 0:48:32.320 --> 0:48:34.160 I could look at that and I could go, it 0:48:34.280 --> 0:48:37.040 doesn't and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how many 0:48:37.080 --> 0:48:38.719 times I've been back there. I could look at that 0:48:38.800 --> 0:48:40.480 and go, nah, it's fucking bullshit. 0:48:41.080 --> 0:48:41.279 You know. 0:48:42.239 --> 0:48:44.239 You know what I mean? I have to I have 0:48:44.440 --> 0:48:49.839 to I have to be currently feeling it, even if 0:48:49.920 --> 0:48:53.279 I felt it hundreds of times in the past, I 0:48:53.360 --> 0:48:56.520 have to be currently feeling it right now in order 0:48:56.560 --> 0:48:57.800 to be able to believe you. Do you know what 0:48:57.840 --> 0:48:58.759 I'm do You know what I'm saying? 0:48:59.200 --> 0:49:02.040 Yeah, No, it's I see exactly what you're saying. I 0:49:02.080 --> 0:49:05.560 don't know, man, Maybe maybe embrace Benjing with something super 0:49:05.600 --> 0:49:09.440 heavy healthy like you have, like like you have like eggs, 0:49:09.800 --> 0:49:12.440 like boi legs. Those are pretty heavy. Maybe you just 0:49:12.560 --> 0:49:16.080 have a jar of Boi legs instead of liking something else. 0:49:16.520 --> 0:49:20.280 Listen, listen, I'm feeling okay right now. At some point 0:49:20.880 --> 0:49:24.439 we're I don't know when, and I honestly even think 0:49:24.560 --> 0:49:26.840 that accepting that this is gonna happen is part of 0:49:26.920 --> 0:49:29.160 the thing. But at some point, a fuck, I'm gonna 0:49:29.280 --> 0:49:32.239 you know, there's gonna be another At some point I'm 0:49:32.280 --> 0:49:35.520 gonna freak out again, and something bad is gonna happen, 0:49:35.680 --> 0:49:38.400 and I'm gonna eat at Pinea Bengerry's and whatever. But 0:49:41.239 --> 0:49:45.239 it will be okay, we'll go. It will cycle. I'm 0:49:45.239 --> 0:49:47.160 thinking about. I always think about what that lady said 0:49:47.200 --> 0:49:50.439 on the podcast the other Weaker Day or whatever, where 0:49:50.440 --> 0:49:52.359 it's like life is like a spiral and you start 0:49:52.360 --> 0:49:54.719 in the middle and you go outward. I'm like, I know, 0:49:54.880 --> 0:49:57.360 I'm I know we're I know these cycles. I know 0:49:57.520 --> 0:50:02.680 that they're not I know we're coming back. But I've 0:50:02.719 --> 0:50:05.600 been down and come back for like eight million times 0:50:05.640 --> 0:50:08.839 that I just know it's possible. And each time I don't, 0:50:09.560 --> 0:50:14.360 you know, jump off a fucking roof, uh, you know, 0:50:14.880 --> 0:50:17.279 each time I don't jump off a fucking roof. We 0:50:17.440 --> 0:50:20.919 get better at uh, we just get better at life. 0:50:21.000 --> 0:50:23.960 We just keep getting better at life every time. Every 0:50:24.200 --> 0:50:26.520 this is I could keep trying to put in new 0:50:26.560 --> 0:50:31.040 Jerry's flavors. Folks at folks. Every time you don't kill yourself. 0:50:31.120 --> 0:50:33.879 You get a little bit better at life every time, 0:50:34.480 --> 0:50:35.520 every time you don't kill yourself. 0:50:36.840 --> 0:50:39.160 But that's a good way to look at it. That's 0:50:39.200 --> 0:50:40.879 a win you have every every hour. 0:50:42.520 --> 0:50:43.279 What's your name again? 0:50:43.360 --> 0:50:43.480 Man? 0:50:43.560 --> 0:50:44.799 Did I give you a name or did you tell 0:50:44.840 --> 0:50:48.520 me your name? You can call me Mike man, Mike, Mike, 0:50:48.800 --> 0:50:50.960 is nice talking to you. I think you're gonna be okay. 0:50:51.040 --> 0:50:52.600 I'm you're you got it. You're a smart guy. 0:50:53.719 --> 0:50:56.040 Thank you man. Thank you. Can I call you? Get go? 0:50:56.440 --> 0:50:57.280 You can call me Gecko. 0:50:58.440 --> 0:50:59.040 Thank you, Get go. 0:51:00.360 --> 0:51:01.520 Is there anything else you want to say to the 0:51:01.560 --> 0:51:02.759 people of the computer before we go? 0:51:05.360 --> 0:51:07.680 Always give someone the benefit of the doubt, no matter 0:51:07.760 --> 0:51:10.400 who you meet, Always assume they know something you don't know, 0:51:10.520 --> 0:51:12.640 and you can find out by talking to them. I 0:51:12.840 --> 0:51:13.000 like it. 0:51:13.880 --> 0:51:15.840 Thank you very much, Thank you, Mike. I appreciate you. 0:51:16.280 --> 0:51:19.000 Call your show in Nashville with Shaggy Too Dope, and 0:51:19.120 --> 0:51:19.839 it was really great. 0:51:20.120 --> 0:51:22.520 Oh helly, will you would you come back if I 0:51:22.560 --> 0:51:25.000 went there in uh twenty twenty six? 0:51:25.920 --> 0:51:28.399 Absolute lately, I would all right absolutely come back. 0:51:28.680 --> 0:51:31.120 Okay, cool, Yeah, because I'm planning. I'm planning my twenty 0:51:31.160 --> 0:51:33.920 twenty six tour, so hopefully people come. 0:51:34.080 --> 0:51:38.480 That'd be cool, dude, I do please, let's see. I mean, 0:51:38.800 --> 0:51:40.440 if you're feeling it, man, if you're feeling. 0:51:40.239 --> 0:51:42.560 Oh no, no, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm I'm. I wasn't 0:51:42.600 --> 0:51:44.560 feeling it for like a year, but now I'm feeling 0:51:44.600 --> 0:51:48.040 it again. I'm so I'm excited. Okay, yeah, And if 0:51:48.040 --> 0:51:49.520 I meet you, you could be like, I'm the guy 0:51:49.600 --> 0:51:53.040 we talked about Appalachia and how I'm going through a crossroads. 0:51:53.920 --> 0:51:55.720 I'll bring you a Gecko horror story. 0:51:56.120 --> 0:51:59.560 Oh that sounds great. That sounds great. Okay, beautif Well, 0:51:59.560 --> 0:52:03.000 I'm gonna I'm back to Nashville. We'll meet in person. Nice, 0:52:03.080 --> 0:52:05.160 all right, beautiful, Good take care of Mike. 0:52:06.160 --> 0:52:07.160 Thanks, take care, go go. 0:52:10.600 --> 0:52:14.920 This is Mike. He's a nice guy. Hey, guys, I'm 0:52:14.960 --> 0:52:19.719 gonna end this episode by doing some viewer mail. I've 0:52:19.760 --> 0:52:26.200 been enjoying the hybrid male phone call approach, so uh, 0:52:26.920 --> 0:52:30.120 let's do that. Let's read some viewer mail and again, 0:52:30.160 --> 0:52:32.040 if you want to send in any viewer mail, you 0:52:32.120 --> 0:52:36.480 can send it to therapy geckomail at gmail dot com. 0:52:37.640 --> 0:52:40.960 And without further ado, let's read some viewer mail to 0:52:42.160 --> 0:52:47.040 end the Gecko session today. Okay, this is from Kline. 0:52:47.880 --> 0:52:53.879 Subject line I don't like being the quiet guy. Hey, Lyle, 0:52:54.080 --> 0:52:56.920 my name is Klein. For some reason, I often get 0:52:57.000 --> 0:53:00.480 referred to as being a quiet person. I don't have 0:53:00.520 --> 0:53:03.520 an issue with talking to people, but I don't initially 0:53:03.680 --> 0:53:07.200 start conversations, and I get confused as to why people 0:53:07.320 --> 0:53:09.839 find this to be an issue. I talk a lot 0:53:09.920 --> 0:53:12.640 around my friends, but I don't have the urge to 0:53:12.719 --> 0:53:15.920 strike up a conversation with strangers or people I don't know. 0:53:16.640 --> 0:53:20.960 I don't see awkward silences as awkward. I find silence peaceful, 0:53:21.400 --> 0:53:24.000 and yet I feel like it's expected in American culture 0:53:24.320 --> 0:53:26.520 to just talk to people. But I don't see much 0:53:26.560 --> 0:53:29.120 of a point in making small talk. I like to 0:53:29.239 --> 0:53:32.240 chime into conversations if I have something funny or interesting 0:53:32.320 --> 0:53:34.480 to say, but not if I don't see a reason 0:53:34.560 --> 0:53:37.560 to spout nonsense. I recognize that I'm more of an 0:53:37.600 --> 0:53:40.719 introverted person, but I don't like being labeled as the 0:53:40.800 --> 0:53:45.000 quiet guy. The label is almost always worded in a 0:53:45.120 --> 0:53:48.239 negative connotation, like it feels like people look at me 0:53:48.440 --> 0:53:51.360 and expect that I contribute more whenever I feel content 0:53:51.520 --> 0:53:56.120 and comfortable with how I act currently. Do I just 0:53:56.280 --> 0:53:59.400 accept this label and learn not to take it so personally, 0:53:59.760 --> 0:54:02.759 or do I try to change and work on talking more. 0:54:03.200 --> 0:54:06.480 I've gotten better at making small talk by asking questions, 0:54:06.640 --> 0:54:08.440 but I could probably work on it more if I 0:54:08.520 --> 0:54:13.880 wanted to. Thanks Kliin. You know, client, It's funny because 0:54:15.200 --> 0:54:17.840 there are certain situations I'll just talk about myself for 0:54:17.880 --> 0:54:22.520 a second. There's certain situations which I feel very introverted 0:54:22.840 --> 0:54:25.160 and like I don't really want to talk to people, 0:54:25.719 --> 0:54:30.560 not even because I'm like, uh, shy or nervous, but yeah, 0:54:30.680 --> 0:54:33.319 I'm with you about where I'm like, and I don't 0:54:33.320 --> 0:54:35.680 really feel the need to talk to these people or 0:54:36.440 --> 0:54:39.239 be a part of this conversation. Like, you know, if 0:54:39.280 --> 0:54:41.400 I want to talk to someone, i'll talk to them. 0:54:41.440 --> 0:54:44.040 If I don't really care that much, I won't And 0:54:44.560 --> 0:54:47.399 it can feel weird sometimes, but I'm gonna I'm gonna 0:54:47.440 --> 0:54:49.680 run a quote by you. It's a good quote. It's 0:54:49.800 --> 0:54:52.600 by some dead guy. Let's see what Let's see what 0:54:52.719 --> 0:54:54.719 a dead guy this quote is by. I'll say the 0:54:54.800 --> 0:55:02.120 quote first. It is better to stay silent and be 0:55:02.280 --> 0:55:06.040 thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove 0:55:06.200 --> 0:55:10.759 all doubt. Who said that? Some fucking guy who's fucking dead. 0:55:12.760 --> 0:55:17.040 It is better to stay silent and be thought of 0:55:17.080 --> 0:55:17.600 Who said that? 0:55:17.760 --> 0:55:18.200 That was a. 0:55:19.880 --> 0:55:23.960 It was a throw Uh it was as this guy, 0:55:25.400 --> 0:55:32.280 Arthur burn I think it was Arthur Burns. Wait, Abraham Lincoln. Okay, 0:55:32.400 --> 0:55:34.920 it's a a bunch of different dead guys came together 0:55:35.000 --> 0:55:38.520 to say that. But it doesn't matter because it doesn't 0:55:38.560 --> 0:55:43.520 matter anyway. Uh, It's true. I do believe that in 0:55:43.600 --> 0:55:45.440 a sense. I do believe that, like, there is power 0:55:45.480 --> 0:55:49.480 to silence. And I've dude, I've noticed that if you're 0:55:49.560 --> 0:55:52.920 in a group of people and you're staying silent, if 0:55:53.000 --> 0:55:56.879 you choose, if you very strategically choose when to talk, 0:55:57.160 --> 0:56:01.000 people will actually listen to you. Whereas if you just 0:56:01.120 --> 0:56:03.680 keep fucking blabbering on and you're not even being intentional, 0:56:03.800 --> 0:56:06.680 nobody will. You know, it's like you get talked over. 0:56:10.280 --> 0:56:12.600 But I think, yeah, I do think that you could 0:56:12.680 --> 0:56:15.000 learn to accept the label and not take it personally. 0:56:17.080 --> 0:56:19.200 You're asking if you should try to change and work 0:56:19.280 --> 0:56:23.839 on talking more. You could, I mean, is that something 0:56:23.880 --> 0:56:27.239 you really want to do? I think I think you 0:56:27.880 --> 0:56:34.880 seem like you do like people. You don't seem like 0:56:35.080 --> 0:56:42.360 you are like a misangrist or anything like that. You 0:56:42.400 --> 0:56:47.040 don't seem like you hate being around people or you're 0:56:48.400 --> 0:56:52.200 violently shy or anything like that, but just that you 0:56:52.400 --> 0:56:55.120 kind of are like, I don't need to be in 0:56:55.719 --> 0:57:00.239 this conversation right now, but I don't. I think I 0:57:00.320 --> 0:57:04.360 think they, even introverted people, they want to connect with others. 0:57:05.680 --> 0:57:09.760 And I get the sense that you want to connect 0:57:10.800 --> 0:57:17.000 with others. You wrote here, you said, it feels like 0:57:17.040 --> 0:57:19.200 people look at me and expect that I contribute more 0:57:19.600 --> 0:57:22.800 whenever I feel content and comfortable with how I act currently. 0:57:23.320 --> 0:57:26.040 Do you feel content and comfortable with how you are currently? 0:57:26.320 --> 0:57:32.920 Because that's the most important thing. Like, there's two types 0:57:33.000 --> 0:57:35.240 of versions of you that you could be. You could 0:57:35.280 --> 0:57:39.560 be a guy who really wants to connect with people 0:57:39.600 --> 0:57:42.360 and really wants to be a part of these conversations, 0:57:42.760 --> 0:57:45.640 but it's just feeling a little shy and whatever. And 0:57:46.240 --> 0:57:48.440 in that case it might be better to. It might 0:57:48.480 --> 0:57:50.680 be good to kind of learn and force yourself to 0:57:50.800 --> 0:57:52.880 talk to other people. Or you could be a guy 0:57:52.960 --> 0:57:58.440 that's like, I'm just completely quietly confident in who I am, 0:57:58.600 --> 0:58:01.520 and I don't need to chime in on a useless 0:58:01.520 --> 0:58:06.920 conversation to prove that to anybody. So I would think 0:58:06.920 --> 0:58:09.360 about whichever one of those people that you really feel 0:58:09.440 --> 0:58:15.840 like you are inside and act accordingly. This is from Jake. 0:58:16.920 --> 0:58:22.320 Subject line Ketamine saved me. Hey, GEK love YOUA. My 0:58:22.440 --> 0:58:27.640 name is Crash. It's you know, people the name in 0:58:27.800 --> 0:58:31.280 the email. Maybe it should just make all the emails 0:58:31.280 --> 0:58:35.960 anonymous or whatever. Who cares, Jake Crash doesn't matter. Hi, 0:58:36.080 --> 0:58:38.760 GEK love YOUA. My name is Crash. Been a fan 0:58:38.920 --> 0:58:41.240 for a long time. I know the email is odd, 0:58:41.480 --> 0:58:47.080 but it stands for proof that utch are revolving. Oh 0:58:47.120 --> 0:58:49.000 he's talking about his email address. I'm not gonna read 0:58:49.000 --> 0:58:55.240 your email address, okay. But anyways, Ketamine, I always thought 0:58:55.480 --> 0:58:59.360 it was just a dissociative, which it is, but I 0:58:59.440 --> 0:59:02.240 thought it meant, oh, you can't talk to your hands 0:59:02.320 --> 0:59:06.080 or whatever. But no, it turns everything wonky. It is 0:59:06.160 --> 0:59:09.040 the drug that when drugs are portrayed, it is the 0:59:09.160 --> 0:59:14.600 drug that when drugs are portrayed on movies. Okay, Uh, 0:59:14.720 --> 0:59:17.760 the way this email is written is a little difficult, 0:59:18.000 --> 0:59:20.640 so I'm gonna I'm gonna, I'm gonna read this. 0:59:20.880 --> 0:59:22.160 Uh what is it? 0:59:22.240 --> 0:59:22.800 Ad hoc? 0:59:24.160 --> 0:59:24.600 Is that right? 0:59:24.800 --> 0:59:32.120 What does ad hoc mean? Ad howk? Okay? Yeah, yeah, 0:59:32.400 --> 0:59:35.200 that sort of makes sense. Okay, Yeah, I think I'm 0:59:35.200 --> 0:59:37.560 gonna read this ad hoc. I'm gonna just correct his 0:59:37.840 --> 0:59:42.600 errors in my Okay. It is the drug that is 0:59:42.720 --> 0:59:46.680 similar to how drugs are portrayed on movies. It's a 0:59:46.760 --> 0:59:50.360 fever trip. It's a it's a fever dream. It's a trip, 0:59:50.520 --> 0:59:54.000 but it has no bad side, no other side. It's 0:59:54.040 --> 0:59:57.080 heavy and light. It doesn't make sense, but it makes 0:59:57.160 --> 1:00:00.640 all the sense. It's perspective. It can make you massive 1:00:00.760 --> 1:00:04.160 and tiny at the same time. I have heard of 1:00:04.280 --> 1:00:07.000 K therapy and boy it's real. You won't have the 1:00:07.080 --> 1:00:09.360 ego death, but you will understand that we are the 1:00:09.440 --> 1:00:13.360 directors of life. Like a movie, it pulls back the 1:00:13.440 --> 1:00:16.040 curtain so that your perspective changes. I don't think you 1:00:16.120 --> 1:00:18.440 are depressed. I think you see it from the wrong angle. 1:00:18.880 --> 1:00:21.840 Some good K will change how you see things. The 1:00:21.960 --> 1:00:24.880 trip reminds me of traveling the surface tension bubble of 1:00:24.960 --> 1:00:29.200 a water. The trip reminds me of traveling the surface 1:00:29.600 --> 1:00:33.280 tension bubble of water on a quarter. It's the whole thing, 1:00:33.400 --> 1:00:37.200 plus some without breaking anyways, Love you Ghek. Your docs 1:00:37.200 --> 1:00:39.360 are amazing. You've been helpful to so many. Stay Green, 1:00:39.400 --> 1:00:44.960 Stay Lyah, love Crash, Thank you Crash. Did you write 1:00:45.000 --> 1:00:49.680 this while you were on the ketamine? Were you doing ketemy? 1:00:49.760 --> 1:00:52.040 Were you doing like actual ketemine therapy or were you 1:00:52.240 --> 1:00:55.800 just like recreationally doing ketmye Because I've been trying, I've 1:00:55.840 --> 1:00:59.880 been really considering I was gonna do that today, uh, 1:01:00.560 --> 1:01:03.160 making an appointment for ketamine therapy. I've been really thinking 1:01:03.200 --> 1:01:05.840 about it because you know, as everyone who listens to 1:01:05.920 --> 1:01:07.800 this podcast knows, I want you to fuck up about 1:01:07.800 --> 1:01:15.240 existential stuff. And my understanding is that ketamine is helpful 1:01:15.320 --> 1:01:19.160 for depression and that it's helpful for those things. So 1:01:19.200 --> 1:01:25.200 I kind of want to give it a try. Yeah, 1:01:25.240 --> 1:01:29.160 I don't know. Oh well, if this guy Crash says 1:01:29.200 --> 1:01:31.600 it's good, then I should do it. 1:01:31.720 --> 1:01:31.959 Maybe. 1:01:34.840 --> 1:01:39.480 Okay. This is from Oh here we go, all right? 1:01:39.760 --> 1:01:44.400 This is from Alison. Subject line polyamory made me an 1:01:44.480 --> 1:01:50.280 alcoholic Hello, gek Man. You can call me Alison. I've 1:01:50.360 --> 1:01:53.000 been a long time enjoyer of your podcast, and since 1:01:53.080 --> 1:01:55.680 you have been reading more mail, I thought I would 1:01:55.800 --> 1:01:59.560 throw my hat into the ring of stories. So to 1:01:59.600 --> 1:02:01.960 make a long story short, I am a third year 1:02:02.120 --> 1:02:06.200 engineer major and my dating experience this year has been insane. 1:02:07.360 --> 1:02:10.240 I have been dating my current boyfriend for three months now. 1:02:10.760 --> 1:02:13.520 A month ago, he wanted to try having a threesome. 1:02:14.080 --> 1:02:17.280 For context, everyone involved in the school is involved in 1:02:17.360 --> 1:02:19.720 a club at my college that is known for being 1:02:19.880 --> 1:02:25.440 queer and having a ton of polyamory within. I am demisexual. 1:02:26.000 --> 1:02:29.040 I did not want to casually hook up with another person. 1:02:29.240 --> 1:02:31.080 For those who don't know what that means, demi sexual 1:02:31.240 --> 1:02:36.520 is like, uh, someone who only wants to have a 1:02:36.920 --> 1:02:39.160 like a physical connection with somebody that they have a 1:02:39.280 --> 1:02:46.640 strong mental connection with. I used to not know what 1:02:46.720 --> 1:02:48.640 that means, and I thought it was like a like 1:02:48.760 --> 1:02:52.680 I thought there was a new sex thing that was 1:02:52.720 --> 1:02:53.760 like a demi sex. 1:02:54.920 --> 1:02:55.200 Okay. 1:02:55.560 --> 1:02:58.040 That led us to figure out I needed to get 1:02:58.080 --> 1:03:02.160 a second boyfriend, and we quickly found a mutual friend 1:03:02.360 --> 1:03:05.920 that I fell head over heels for. Before starting the 1:03:06.000 --> 1:03:10.480 second relationship, the second boy mentioned talking to another friend, 1:03:10.720 --> 1:03:14.800 but that those plans weren't concrete at all. Flash forward 1:03:14.840 --> 1:03:18.600 a week, Boy two is love bombing me hardcore, and 1:03:18.720 --> 1:03:21.440 I was eating it all up. Me and the two 1:03:21.520 --> 1:03:24.680 boys hang out to watch movies, and you can guess 1:03:24.720 --> 1:03:28.600 what happened. Okay, all right, all right? The next day 1:03:28.680 --> 1:03:32.360 after and making it The next day after, Boy two 1:03:32.600 --> 1:03:35.560 makes it official with me, but he also makes it 1:03:35.640 --> 1:03:38.720 official with another girl. It kind of stung, but I 1:03:38.840 --> 1:03:41.760 chalked it up to jealousy. He then proceeds to stop 1:03:41.840 --> 1:03:45.600 messaging me as much and only posting the other girl, 1:03:45.880 --> 1:03:49.360 which ate away at my mental state. It is, isn't 1:03:49.400 --> 1:03:51.760 it so fucking This has been talked about to death? 1:03:51.800 --> 1:03:54.880 But like, isn't it so fucking weird? How much like whatever, 1:03:55.000 --> 1:03:58.200 Facebook and Instagram and all that stuff has like influenced 1:03:58.240 --> 1:04:05.960 all of our relationships and whatnot. I was constantly overthinking 1:04:06.040 --> 1:04:11.479 the situation, having anxiety attacks at work and coming home 1:04:12.000 --> 1:04:15.320 from my internship and drinking. It got to the point 1:04:15.480 --> 1:04:18.320 where I was constantly crying since I felt I was 1:04:18.480 --> 1:04:21.840 last place in a situation that should not have been 1:04:22.160 --> 1:04:26.080 a race. With encouragement from my roommates and the first 1:04:26.160 --> 1:04:29.720 boy I called boy too and broke shit off. It 1:04:29.800 --> 1:04:32.640 all sucked with everything else going on wrong in my life, 1:04:32.680 --> 1:04:35.200 and I still drink way too much, but at least 1:04:35.240 --> 1:04:39.760 I escaped that bad situation. Nothing against people who enjoy polyamory, 1:04:40.200 --> 1:04:40.640 it's just. 1:04:40.760 --> 1:04:41.200 Not for me. 1:04:41.760 --> 1:04:46.600 Wait a minute, so, okay, this is a little The 1:04:46.680 --> 1:04:48.120 only reason this is a little funny to me is that, 1:04:48.240 --> 1:04:54.400 like this whole time, like what's up with the first guy? Okay, 1:04:54.640 --> 1:04:59.160 because so you start dating. Okay, so you're dating, you're 1:04:59.160 --> 1:05:04.120 your boyfriend, right, and then this other guy comes into place, 1:05:04.840 --> 1:05:09.360 and then he gets a second boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, 1:05:10.280 --> 1:05:13.680 and okay, so yeah, the second guy gets a girlfriend, 1:05:14.440 --> 1:05:20.600 and then you're like upset that he has another girlfriend. 1:05:22.640 --> 1:05:25.600 And then you're like and then you're like, I feel 1:05:25.600 --> 1:05:28.680 like I'm in last place in this situation. No, boy, 1:05:28.760 --> 1:05:33.080 the first boyfriend is definitely in last place. In this situation. 1:05:33.960 --> 1:05:39.040 You're not in last place. The first boyfriend, who is 1:05:39.200 --> 1:05:45.000 like coaching you through the breakup, that is, you know, 1:05:45.240 --> 1:05:48.240 eating away at you with the second boyfriend, he is 1:05:48.320 --> 1:05:54.440 in last place. You're in You're in third place in 1:05:54.560 --> 1:05:57.360 this situation. You're not in last The boy number one, 1:05:57.520 --> 1:05:59.400 I want to read his email, what's going on with 1:05:59.520 --> 1:06:06.120 this guy? Because here's the thing, I don't you don't 1:06:06.160 --> 1:06:12.760 seem like you're like into polyamory. I think if you 1:06:12.840 --> 1:06:14.760 were into poly I think if you were truly okay 1:06:14.840 --> 1:06:19.280 with polyamory, you wouldn't be having anxiety attacks and overthinking 1:06:19.320 --> 1:06:22.040 the situation and you know, having to drink to deal 1:06:22.080 --> 1:06:25.040 with the jealousy. I think you just like, I think 1:06:25.080 --> 1:06:28.520 you just didn't like your current boyfriend and you liked 1:06:28.600 --> 1:06:30.800 this other guy, and you thought you could handle this 1:06:30.920 --> 1:06:33.920 whole thing, but you couldn't. But no, you were not 1:06:34.000 --> 1:06:36.880 in last place. Boy number one is in last place. 1:06:37.160 --> 1:06:38.320 I mean, I don't know, I don't know who boy 1:06:38.400 --> 1:06:39.720 number one is. Maybe he just wants to be friends 1:06:39.760 --> 1:06:44.160 with you, and you know, that's it, and you know, 1:06:44.280 --> 1:06:47.160 hopefully he's living his life and hopefully he's happy doing 1:06:47.240 --> 1:06:54.200 his thing. But yeah, sounds sounds like polyamory is not 1:06:54.280 --> 1:06:57.800 for you, which is totally fine. I'm sure that you 1:06:57.840 --> 1:07:04.560 will eventually find a a boyfriend that, uh is you 1:07:04.840 --> 1:07:06.800 like that you could just be the have the one. 1:07:07.920 --> 1:07:13.080 Nothing wrong with just having the one, all right, m 1:07:15.400 --> 1:07:18.320 I think that's it. Yeah, I think that's it. I 1:07:18.400 --> 1:07:20.200 think that's enough. Email a right, maybe we'll get do 1:07:20.280 --> 1:07:22.560 one more the well, let's see if I can find 1:07:22.560 --> 1:07:26.400 a quick one. This is from Caden, subject line I 1:07:26.480 --> 1:07:29.640 got rid of my speech impediment with a septum piercing. 1:07:30.640 --> 1:07:30.760 Yo. 1:07:31.240 --> 1:07:34.080 My name is Caden. I'm twenty three years old and 1:07:34.200 --> 1:07:37.000 two months ago I got my septim pierced. I've had 1:07:37.040 --> 1:07:40.320 a stutter since five years old and have always had 1:07:40.440 --> 1:07:43.360 a lot to say, accompanied with a lot of tongue 1:07:43.400 --> 1:07:47.240 biting and silence. Not giving my septum credit for helping 1:07:47.280 --> 1:07:49.640 me move past that phase of life, but rather the 1:07:49.720 --> 1:07:53.120 mindset I had when getting it. Who cares if they 1:07:53.200 --> 1:07:57.080 see me like this? For the longest time, I was 1:07:57.160 --> 1:07:59.960 extremely cautious with what I said and how I say, 1:08:00.400 --> 1:08:03.800 which led me to orchestrate my thoughts, reactions, and responses. 1:08:04.320 --> 1:08:08.280 Your show has helped tremendously. Not giving you full credit either, lol, 1:08:10.440 --> 1:08:12.040 that's okay, you don't have to give me any credit. 1:08:12.560 --> 1:08:15.800 But listening to how imperfect and human each conversation is 1:08:15.960 --> 1:08:18.400 and your stance on entering and exiting the world has 1:08:18.479 --> 1:08:22.479 woken me up. Blackness a snap, then back to blackness. 1:08:22.880 --> 1:08:26.160 Oh god, Oh I wish I could forget about all 1:08:26.200 --> 1:08:31.200 that shit, that's all right. It's truly a beautiful thing. 1:08:31.360 --> 1:08:34.440 I've been giving more compliments. I've been talking with everyone comfortably. 1:08:34.800 --> 1:08:37.080 I'm not intimidated by people of a higher standing or 1:08:37.120 --> 1:08:42.040 status anymore. I can order my own fucking food. They 1:08:42.080 --> 1:08:45.000 wrote that in old caps. My foundation in life is 1:08:45.040 --> 1:08:47.639 slowly being built by snippets of how you live life. 1:08:47.720 --> 1:08:49.679 And I've never been so at peace. 1:08:50.280 --> 1:08:50.560 Thank you. 1:08:52.600 --> 1:08:54.960 That was Caden. I think what's going on with Caden 1:08:55.040 --> 1:08:58.560 is that they're they're realizing that nothing matters in a 1:08:58.600 --> 1:09:05.120 good way. I like an optimist sick nihilism. I do 1:09:05.280 --> 1:09:09.160 kind of wish sometimes I could forget about I don't 1:09:09.160 --> 1:09:12.320 think that's doing in in in nihilism all day. Uh 1:09:12.920 --> 1:09:15.559 is good. I've noticed there is a lot of people 1:09:15.600 --> 1:09:18.360 out there who they go years and years and years 1:09:18.439 --> 1:09:27.639 without or even their entire life without thinking these existential thoughts. 1:09:29.680 --> 1:09:33.880 But not everyone is so uh, you know, not everyone's 1:09:33.880 --> 1:09:36.880 brain works that way, and some people, you know, some 1:09:36.960 --> 1:09:39.320 people could use some other fucking existential thoughts, you know. 1:09:42.160 --> 1:09:46.680 But it sounds like it's it's been really helpful for 1:09:46.840 --> 1:09:51.519 this person, Caden. You know, they're like, oh, I don't 1:09:51.520 --> 1:09:54.200 give a fuck anymore. When they said I'm not intimidated 1:09:54.240 --> 1:09:57.840 by people of a higher status anymore. Yeah, dude, once 1:09:57.920 --> 1:10:01.559 you fucking bro, once you, once you really like start 1:10:01.640 --> 1:10:07.519 to get it. I think all like status games are 1:10:10.000 --> 1:10:14.120 like nothing like because you realize that we're all on 1:10:14.240 --> 1:10:21.479 the level playing field of just you know, being flimsy humans. Right. 1:10:25.160 --> 1:10:26.800 So I'm glad. I'm glad that these thoughts have been 1:10:26.840 --> 1:10:30.599 helpful to you, Kayden. And you can order your own food. 1:10:32.680 --> 1:10:33.040 Hmm. 1:10:36.400 --> 1:10:38.439 Yeah, And I see what you mean. The stutter of 1:10:38.680 --> 1:10:43.840 like it's not maybe not like was your speech impediments 1:10:44.720 --> 1:10:53.519 related to like overthinking about how people see you and 1:10:53.680 --> 1:10:55.720 maybe once you got the septum piers and you were like, 1:10:55.840 --> 1:10:57.320 I don't really care how people see me at all. 1:10:59.400 --> 1:11:02.280 I think this is in the Therapy Gecko podcast. I 1:11:02.360 --> 1:11:04.960 think my name is Lyle, and I think I'm gonna go, 1:11:05.439 --> 1:11:12.880 but leave some comments on the Spotify page. Share the 1:11:12.960 --> 1:11:16.000 podcast with your friends, give it a thumbs up or 1:11:16.080 --> 1:11:20.160 a shake of the tale or whatever you gotta give it. 1:11:23.200 --> 1:11:28.000 Share it with your friends, tell the world about the 1:11:28.120 --> 1:11:32.840 Therapy Gecko show. I hope you enjoy it. That's it. 1:11:34.280 --> 1:11:38.639 That's me. I'll be back again on the next episode. 1:11:39.160 --> 1:11:42.760 Send an email therapy Gecko mail at gmail dot com. 1:11:43.280 --> 1:11:49.120 That's therapy Gecko mail at gmail dot com. Thank you 1:11:49.280 --> 1:11:52.479 very much, geck bless see you guys around the universe. 1:11:54.080 --> 1:11:57.559 Goes on the line than your phone calls every nine. 1:12:00.120 --> 1:12:00.840 She knows about in 1:12:01.280 --> 1:12:04.360 Your life, but he's not really an expert.