Speaker 1: Hello, Yeah, can you hear me?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: What's up?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 3: What's your name?
Speaker 1: My name is Austin, Austin Corey.
Speaker 3: Austin Corey. I'll take a for why not first and
Speaker 3: last name.
Speaker 2: It's all good.
Speaker 3: That's good. We can use that for something. What's going on,
Speaker 3: Austin Corey. What's happening with you today?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Nothing much. I'm at work right now smoking a blunt.
Speaker 1: I can't believe I got through to you.
Speaker 3: Have we spoken before, we've.
Speaker 2: Actually met before.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's like okay to say or whatever.
Speaker 1: But we met in Michigan and we went and got
Speaker 1: hot dogs.
Speaker 3: Yes, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait do
Speaker 3: we did? We go to like a diner kind of
Speaker 3: a place?
Speaker 2: Yep?
Speaker 1: Yep, me and it was me and my cousin Austin.
Speaker 3: Yeah, bro, I got in your fucking truck and we
Speaker 3: went to like a diner place.
Speaker 2: Right, yep?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was me, that was my trust.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I remember you, man, Oh man, I remember you, dude.
Speaker 3: That was a fun night. Oh yeah, that was a
Speaker 3: fun night. Yeah. That was after oh god, that was
Speaker 3: after Grand Rapids was Grand Ship? Yeah, I was thinking that.
Speaker 3: I was thinking that was in Detroit. Yeah, that was
Speaker 3: in Grand Rapids. I had a show in the Pyramid Scheme,
Speaker 3: and I was just, you know, I'm in fucking Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Speaker 3: I don't have anything to do, and uh yeah, I
Speaker 3: get in your car and we get high and we
Speaker 3: go to this like chili dog place with you, with
Speaker 3: you and your cousin. We just chit chat. That was fun.
Speaker 3: That was a fun night, dude, what's up.
Speaker 1: I couldn't believe that you actually came with us. I
Speaker 1: was like, man, he doesn't know us at all. We
Speaker 1: could kidnap him and do weird things and you just
Speaker 1: hop right in the truck and it was. It was
Speaker 1: one of the best nights I ever had.
Speaker 3: Oh man, I'm so happy to talk to you again.
Speaker 3: That was a fun night for me. Well, yeah, when
Speaker 3: I go on tour, I uh or even when I'm
Speaker 3: not just in general, I'm like, I don't know, I
Speaker 3: like a good adventure. I like it good let's see
Speaker 3: where this thing goes. And I tend to have a
Speaker 3: I did like, I don't know, I'm good at susting
Speaker 3: people out, I think. And I didn't have a sense
Speaker 3: from you that you were going to kill me.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, definitely don't give off killer vibes.
Speaker 2: But I was like, wow.
Speaker 1: He's so trusting and you ended up being like the
Speaker 1: nicest person ever. I couldn't believe it. Than sorry, I
Speaker 1: don't know if this is a good stream you know
Speaker 1: stuff or whatever, but I was like, holy shit, I
Speaker 1: want to get Can I give a shout out to
Speaker 1: my cousin that we that we ate with a shout
Speaker 1: out to Austin. He he should give you a call sometime.
Speaker 1: He I don't want to put his business out there.
Speaker 1: But he ended up finding out he had cancer like
Speaker 1: right after that, really and a bunch of like yeah,
Speaker 1: you remember how you remember how nice he was of
Speaker 1: a person and everything?
Speaker 3: So is he Is he all right?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah he's okay.
Speaker 1: Now, you know, but he just has gone through a
Speaker 1: bunch of crazy things since then. I always tell him like, man,
Speaker 1: you need to call into the get Go and talk
Speaker 1: to him about it.
Speaker 3: Is he cancer free now?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah he's I believe he's all good now?
Speaker 3: So oh cool? Good?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Good? So damn are you Are you playing in any
Speaker 1: tours again anytime soon?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I'm I don't know if I'm gonna come back to uh,
Speaker 3: Grand I mean, if they'll have me, I'll come back
Speaker 3: to Grand Rapids.
Speaker 1: But if I gotta travel to come see, I will
Speaker 1: especially that now like you, I was like, man, I
Speaker 1: hope he remembers me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, of course I remember that. Of course I
Speaker 3: remember that. Yeah, I'm I'm I'm planning a tour in
Speaker 3: twenty twenty six. I'm gonna come to at least like
Speaker 3: the big major cities. But yeah, yeah, if there's enough interest,
Speaker 3: I'll definitely come to uh Detroit or Grand rap Yeah. Wait,
Speaker 3: hold on, let me see if I wrote I'm gonna
Speaker 3: I mean, I keep a journal. I'm gonna see if
Speaker 3: I wrote about the US in my journal at all,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna see. Maybe it'll help jog wack. This was in.
Speaker 3: This was in twenty twenty four, and like, when the fuck?
Speaker 3: Do you remember what months this was in?
Speaker 1: It was sometime in the summer, I believe.
Speaker 2: I don't remember for sure, but.
Speaker 1: I remember we were smoking blunt outside and shorts and
Speaker 1: T shirts.
Speaker 3: So yeah, wait, Grand Rapids. Maybe maybe let's see. Did
Speaker 3: I did I journal about this shit? I remember we
Speaker 3: did it. That was funny shit, man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, every time when I meet somebody I new I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: do you know the therapy echo and they're like yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like, my guys, my homie. We we went and
Speaker 1: got some chili dogs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, I wrote here. I was like, I
Speaker 3: had a fantastic show that was so much fun at
Speaker 3: this tiny punk venue with pinball machines, and then I
Speaker 3: went out to get cony dogs afterwards with these two
Speaker 3: dudes named Austin. Wait you guys are you guys are
Speaker 3: both named Austin.
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, Austin and Austin. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I drove with them in their truck and we hung
Speaker 3: out and ate food and tucked. So there we go.
Speaker 3: Damn good to see you again, man. Okay, so what's
Speaker 3: so all right? So what's up with you, Austin? What's
Speaker 3: been going? Any any updates? I don't remember? I don't
Speaker 3: I know that we met and hung out, but I
Speaker 3: my memory is not good enough to remember exactly what
Speaker 3: we talked about when we hung out with each other.
Speaker 3: Any any updates on your life since then?
Speaker 1: Uh? Nothing? Crazy. I got into a fight with my
Speaker 1: cousin a couple of weeks ago. He was he was drunk,
Speaker 1: drunk and acting crazy, so I had to put a
Speaker 1: whooping on him. But besides that, nothing, nothing super crazy
Speaker 1: to talk about. So I'm just so glad that you answered.
Speaker 1: I was like, holy shit, I'm I'm at work right now,
Speaker 1: but I pulled over as soon as I heard hello.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh my gosh, remind me of what
Speaker 3: you do for work.
Speaker 1: I'm a lawns I work outside and mo lawns, so
Speaker 1: do like landscaping and shit.
Speaker 3: So is that is that an easy job to do
Speaker 3: while you're high? It seems like it's a doable job
Speaker 3: while you're high.
Speaker 1: It's a very easy job. I think it's easier to
Speaker 1: do while I'm high versus well, I'm not high. When
Speaker 1: you're high, it just makes everything smooth and you don't
Speaker 1: really care about, you know, things too much, and it
Speaker 1: it makes it easier to work with my customers, you know.
Speaker 1: And I'm kind of extra happy and giggly.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: All my customers love me. I got a little old
Speaker 1: lady that I mow, and I just left her house
Speaker 1: and she she bakes me a hope like tray of
Speaker 1: sending holes.
Speaker 2: Cool. That's awesome.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a good, good job, and I like to
Speaker 1: I like to work outside where you know, I'm not
Speaker 1: I can be outside and be in nature versus being
Speaker 1: locked down in the building all day. I can never
Speaker 1: work that work in the building. And you know, like
Speaker 1: people that have to ask for permission to go to
Speaker 1: the bathroom and stuff. You know, like I'm not in
Speaker 1: school anymore. I don't want to have to ask permission
Speaker 1: to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 3: Do you just go to the bathroom like on the lawn?
Speaker 1: It depends, you know. I got a couple of properties
Speaker 1: where I can do that, but you know, no I
Speaker 1: work with I have one person that works with me,
Speaker 1: but I'm the boss. So if I want to pull
Speaker 1: over and you know, roll some weed up or pull
Speaker 1: over and go to the bathroom, I can, you know,
Speaker 1: do whatever I want.
Speaker 3: Does anyone get pissed off of you for getting high
Speaker 3: on the job?
Speaker 1: Uh? I don't think so. Not that I've never gotten
Speaker 1: any complaints. I've only gotten positive things. A couple of
Speaker 1: weeks ago, I had a neighbor come out and give
Speaker 1: me a custom to come out and give me some
Speaker 1: weed as a tip.
Speaker 2: So that was pretty cool.
Speaker 3: Nice man. When we were talking, do you have a
Speaker 3: girlfriend at the time or were you like seeing someone? Uh?
Speaker 1: No, just I've just been banging ladies. Man, lately, I
Speaker 1: need to settle down here soon. I'm twenty eight, so
Speaker 1: I know I was when we talked. I think I'm
Speaker 1: only like a year older than you. But you know,
Speaker 1: we're kind of getting older, both of us, both me
Speaker 1: and you.
Speaker 2: You know, we're kind of losing.
Speaker 1: Losing potential potential mates, you know what I mean. Every
Speaker 1: day there's more and more girls our age that are
Speaker 1: getting knocked up and getting pregnant, and the first time
Speaker 1: I have a kid, I would like to hopefully have
Speaker 1: a kid with somebody that doesn't have a child already,
Speaker 1: you know, So I definitely need to settle down. How
Speaker 1: do you feel about that I have a lady right now?
Speaker 3: I don't But I get dude, I don't know. I
Speaker 3: I disagree with you a little bit in the sense that, like,
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm twenty, I'm about to turn twenty eight,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, you know, I don't know, like the
Speaker 3: way I look at times, like man, you know, if
Speaker 3: I like, fuck, if I just like I could kind
Speaker 3: of whatever for the next what uh seven years, and
Speaker 3: I'll be thirty five and I could meet a nice
Speaker 3: you know, thirty twenty eight, twenty nine year old lady,
Speaker 3: you know, and then you know, thirty seven, maybe we
Speaker 3: have kids. I'm like, there's there's there's room, you know,
Speaker 3: there's room to like do this shit it feels.
Speaker 2: You see.
Speaker 1: That's kind of how I feel like. I'm in a
Speaker 1: position myself where I personally don't want to rush going
Speaker 1: into a relationship.
Speaker 3: Exact, I don't want to. I don't want to rush it,
Speaker 3: and I don't feel like I have time to rush it. Sorry, sorry,
Speaker 3: go ahead, especially rush.
Speaker 1: I definitely don't want to rush having a kid with somebody.
Speaker 1: I've seen like so many people you know, have kids
Speaker 1: and then you know, as soon as they have a kid,
Speaker 1: their relationship just turns into ship. And uh, you know,
Speaker 1: when I finally want to have a kid and feel
Speaker 1: like I'm ready to have a kid, you know, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel like it's rushed.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I feel like those kinds of things kinda will come
Speaker 1: to you in a sense, you know, Like I don't
Speaker 1: feel like I need to kind of hunt down somebody,
Speaker 1: you know, but I have like like my family will
Speaker 1: say weird things to me like that, like as far
Speaker 1: as like oh you need to you know, get check
Speaker 1: up with with the girl and you know, have kids
Speaker 1: soon blah blah blah. But you know, I kind of
Speaker 1: just feel like that's something that will come to me
Speaker 1: when the time is right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been coming around to the idea of, like,
Speaker 3: I don't know, being like a step dead. I think
Speaker 3: I'd like to have kids, but I'm like, if I
Speaker 3: don't know, it's I would, dude. I've been thinking about this.
Speaker 3: I'm like thinking about like how fucking insane it'll feel,
Speaker 3: because I look at having kids as like a far
Speaker 3: off thing. But even when I'm like, even if I
Speaker 3: do wait the amount of time I want to wait,
Speaker 3: and I'm like or the amount of time I'm waiting
Speaker 3: in my head, and I'm like thirty six, thirty seven, whatever,
Speaker 3: I'm still me. You know, I still and I think
Speaker 3: me the idea of looking at a child that I've
Speaker 3: created that feels like so freakyly existential to me that
Speaker 3: I'm like, whoa, that's kind of fucking crazy. But it
Speaker 3: also it seems so it seems so nice, it seems
Speaker 3: so normal of a thing. It seems like a good
Speaker 3: thing to do with, uh, your life. I mean, it's
Speaker 3: literally the if you have to if you had to go.
Speaker 3: If you had to consult the the User Manual of
Speaker 3: your Human Body for the Meaning of Life, it literally
Speaker 3: tells you that your your your objective is to uh,
Speaker 3: you know, is to have sex, but for you know,
Speaker 3: for the purpose of procreation. Like that's like the body's
Speaker 3: objective is survive by eating food and water and then
Speaker 3: pro create. That's in the User man.
Speaker 1: Does that stress you out at all? Like the potential
Speaker 1: of like would you be okay with with not having kids?
Speaker 3: Well, you know, when I really think about it, it
Speaker 3: stresses me out for sure, But I just I'm like, so,
Speaker 3: I don't know, I feel like I got some time,
Speaker 3: so I'm not stressed out about Yeah, you.
Speaker 1: Know, yeah we're still young lads, but you know, fucking
Speaker 1: that clock is is definitely clicking, you know. And I
Speaker 1: I also have a weird thing right now still where
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's it's childish or not, but
Speaker 1: I really like to do what I want to do
Speaker 1: when I want to do it, you know, and it's
Speaker 1: it's tough when you got a girlfriend, you know, they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: let's go shopping, let's do this, let's do this, you know,
Speaker 1: and they'll ask you to go do a bunch of
Speaker 1: things that you might not necessarily want to do, you know,
Speaker 1: and I'm a very very busy guy. So it's but
Speaker 1: at the same time, you know, when if you're just
Speaker 1: having sex with people that you're not in like an
Speaker 1: actual relationship, you know, you don't really get anything meaningful
Speaker 1: out of it. And I do miss having a partner
Speaker 1: to you know, experience things with.
Speaker 3: I guess, yeah, of course, of course I think that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean it's a give and take, right because I'm
Speaker 3: the same way I'm I'm like, you know, I'm crazy.
Speaker 3: I'm like I'm gonna go to Iraq for a week,
Speaker 3: or I'm gonna go out to this random thing or
Speaker 3: do this or try this or whatever, you know. But
Speaker 3: I guess ideally, ideally, whoever I've whoever ends up like
Speaker 3: being you know, my partner probably you know, is like okay,
Speaker 3: like knows that I'm like that and is on board
Speaker 3: for it. But you but no matter what, you could
Speaker 3: have somebody who's like totally on board, totally whatever. But
Speaker 3: you always, if you're you know, living life with another person,
Speaker 3: you have to make concessions no matter what, especially if
Speaker 3: you like hat another person. Yeah, you gotta make concessions,
Speaker 3: but I think I don't know. I'm not let's talk again.
Speaker 3: We gotta talk again in ten years because I don't
Speaker 3: have enough information. I don't have enough wisdom to really
Speaker 3: It's true, I don't have enough wisdom to fully engage
Speaker 3: in this conversation with you. I feel like if we
Speaker 3: had this conversation, I feel like ourus having this conversation
Speaker 3: now and us having this conversation ten years from now,
Speaker 3: we're both gonna have totally different views on it. But
Speaker 3: because I don't know if, I'm like like, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I look at my life right now, and I'm you know,
Speaker 3: I'm the single, I live by myself. I don't like
Speaker 3: and I'm like, it's some nights's cool. It's like, you know,
Speaker 3: some nights's cool and some nights you're like, oh, I
Speaker 3: think the whole point of this was to like build
Speaker 3: a real life. And then I'm like, wait, wouldn't it
Speaker 3: be awesome to dude?
Speaker 2: Dude?
Speaker 3: When I was when I was like fifteen, I used
Speaker 3: to I think this is just because I was watching
Speaker 3: Louis a lot. But when I was fifteen, I was like,
Speaker 3: I can't wait to be uh divorced you know that,
Speaker 3: like that seemed like a cool life to me. I
Speaker 3: don't know, not like a cool life, but like, uh
Speaker 3: because like my dad was you know, fuck it, my
Speaker 3: my parents got divorced and but my dad was still
Speaker 3: like in my life, and I was like, oh, that
Speaker 3: seems like the good setup is like you have your
Speaker 3: kids half the time. But uh, but I don't know, Adel,
Speaker 3: I'm you know, I'm I'm dumb. I think if I
Speaker 3: I think, I think, I think. Me thinking about that
Speaker 3: as a fifteen year old in theory is much different
Speaker 3: from how I'll actually feel when I have children, you know, yeah,
Speaker 3: because I'm sure, I'm sure when I have children, I'll
Speaker 3: be like, I'm sure something like what we wire will
Speaker 3: like rewire in my brain to go.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: I want to be with these people, uh as as
Speaker 3: much as humanly possible, but I don't have the wisdom
Speaker 3: to fully address any of these things yet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's it's a bit of a double edged sword.
Speaker 1: So but okay, yeah, I'm very very glad to hear
Speaker 1: that you're going on tour again, so at least I'll
Speaker 1: be able to see you again and in the next year.
Speaker 1: If you're going on tour, sometime, even if I gotta
Speaker 1: go a state or two, I'll come see you wherever
Speaker 1: you go.
Speaker 3: So, you know, if I have I feel like, if
Speaker 3: I have kids, I can't be hopping in random high
Speaker 3: strangers trucks in the middle of Michigan to go to
Speaker 3: diners at you know, one o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1: See maybe I can. Like it's then, you know, there's
Speaker 1: so many things you're not able to do. You know,
Speaker 1: we would that night would have never happened.
Speaker 3: Then, you know, well, I don't know, Like I don't, Uh,
Speaker 3: I don't personally know these people, but like there's like
Speaker 3: comedians like you know, Mark Normand and Joe List and
Speaker 3: like you know, other other things like that. I don't
Speaker 3: I don't personally know those guys, but you know, I
Speaker 3: know that they have kids, and I'll hear them talk
Speaker 3: about like our lives and I'm like, oh, you can
Speaker 3: like have a kid, but still, you know, do do
Speaker 3: that kind of shit. So but I don't know, I
Speaker 3: don't think it's something to count on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that is true, I guess.
Speaker 3: Anyway, But who are these girls that you're banging?
Speaker 1: Uh? So it's kind of like a short but long story.
Speaker 1: So it's just that kind of just raindom horrors. So
Speaker 1: I was in a relationship, like well, so I was
Speaker 1: in a relationship like five or six years ago, and
Speaker 1: you know, high school sweet sweetheart, blah blah blah. You know,
Speaker 1: I thought she was going to be the one, but she,
Speaker 1: you know, ended up doing her thing and we split
Speaker 1: up or whatever, and she really did a number on me,
Speaker 1: but she so like, we split up, and I got
Speaker 1: and I got together with other girls or whatever, and
Speaker 1: then that girl would hit me up and I would
Speaker 1: shit on other girls that treated me very very good,
Speaker 1: just to talk to the one I was in love with,
Speaker 1: you know, if that makes sense.
Speaker 3: Oh, like this girl, this girl didn't like the other girls,
Speaker 3: so you would talk badly about them to her.
Speaker 1: No, so like the girl I was like, So me
Speaker 1: and the girl broke up my high school sweetheart, So
Speaker 1: I would start banging other girls, you know, and then
Speaker 1: I would get together with somebody and be seeing somebody
Speaker 1: or whatever. And then and then, you know, a couple
Speaker 1: months down the road, you know, my high school sweetheart,
Speaker 1: she would get done you know, fucking whoever she was
Speaker 1: or whatever, and then she would call me back. Eventually,
Speaker 1: once she got bored or whatever, but because I was
Speaker 1: in love with her, no matter what kind of girl
Speaker 1: I was with, you know, I was with girls that
Speaker 1: treated me way better than she ever did. But because
Speaker 1: I was in love with her, I would just rop
Speaker 1: whoever I was with the moment she would call me.
Speaker 1: It didn't matter if it was a two months or
Speaker 1: fucking three years, you know, if she called me, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, hey, you know, what's up, you know, and.
Speaker 2: We Uh So.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm fucking horrores now is because I'm still.
Speaker 3: Feeling why wait, why are these wait, why are these
Speaker 3: women whares?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: I guess when I say whoes that' shouldn't mean whes
Speaker 1: like they just there girls that I bang without being
Speaker 1: in a relationship.
Speaker 3: So hey, listen, I guess I got some bad news
Speaker 3: for you, Austin that actually that makes you a whror
Speaker 3: as well.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, And I wasn't using it in a derogatory
Speaker 1: kind of way, you know, but we're all just freely,
Speaker 1: you know. It's we're taking care of each other's needs
Speaker 1: without the commitment part, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I'm not I'm I'm pro I'm pro horedom.
Speaker 1: But so like, the only reason why I'm doing that
Speaker 1: is because I don't want to get into another relationship
Speaker 1: quite yet while I still have somewhat of feelings for
Speaker 1: another person. That that's saying, you don't, don't bleed on
Speaker 1: somebody that doesn't cut you, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I don't want to break another girl's heart just because
Speaker 1: I'm being an asshole and I still have feelings for
Speaker 1: somebody else.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, Yeah, it sounds like you're in like
Speaker 3: a transitional period right now of like all right, let
Speaker 3: me let me, let me dial all this back and
Speaker 3: figure out what I actually want to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So, like you know, I'm just with the you know,
Speaker 1: non non committed relationships because then you don't have to
Speaker 1: worry about, you know, hurting anybody or being hurt in return.
Speaker 3: You know, Yeah, I know what you mean.
Speaker 1: No, no commit know nothing.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: It also gives me the freedom to come and go
Speaker 1: with that please.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I can call, you know, a girl on one night, Hey,
Speaker 1: you want to go get some dinner? You know, blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. We go out on a date and if
Speaker 1: something happens, sweet, if not, you know, so I had
Speaker 1: a good time anyways, mm hmmmmm.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a that's a that's kind of a yeah,
Speaker 3: it's very that's a that's a nicely low stakes place
Speaker 3: to be.
Speaker 1: Yes, you know, you can't get can't get hurt in
Speaker 1: that zone, you know, And I've I've had a lot
Speaker 1: of hurt in my life, and I don't think I can.
Speaker 1: I just don't want to take any more quite at
Speaker 1: this point. But yeah, you know, I I I missed
Speaker 1: the I do miss being in a committed relationship. Just
Speaker 1: it's been a couple of years since I've been in
Speaker 1: a committed relationship, and I'm doing pretty well in life,
Speaker 1: and I just want to be able to.
Speaker 2: Share my wealth.
Speaker 1: Like I don't have like a bunch of money, but
Speaker 1: I just I'm doing good and I want to do
Speaker 1: good with somebody, if sense.
Speaker 3: No, that makes a lot of sense. I mean yeah,
Speaker 3: that's what like every song on the planet Earth is
Speaker 3: written about, right, is like you gotta is like, yeah,
Speaker 3: like this isn't a this is just like an analysis
Speaker 3: is like yeah, to really like build a thing or
Speaker 3: you know, allow yourself to whatever, you gotta enter into
Speaker 3: something that both allows you to that above opens you
Speaker 3: up to an extreme amount of pain and then and
Speaker 3: then opens another person up to an extreme amount of
Speaker 3: pain and then the stakes become fucking higher.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But that but also but you know, I mean, that's
Speaker 3: that's all of life. That's all of life is like
Speaker 3: you know, your high risk, high reward you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you think you're gonna be in a relationship
Speaker 1: anytime soon? I've got anything talking to I'm.
Speaker 3: Kind of I don't know, I'm enjoying. Uh, I'm just
Speaker 3: I'm just like kind of living my life right now.
Speaker 3: I was I think I was maybe thinking about that
Speaker 3: stuff more. But I'm just living my life right now.
Speaker 3: I feel pretty good about it.
Speaker 1: You said you feel pretty good about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean i'd like, I'd like to do something
Speaker 3: in the future, but I don't know. I'm enjoying living
Speaker 3: my life right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm glad that, you know, it makes me feel better.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Here's somebody else. Kanda has the same thoughts and viewpoints.
Speaker 3: We're kind of we're young guys. Man, we're young guys.
Speaker 3: I don't think that we're uh, you know, I think
Speaker 3: we'll be okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, we're you know, how old are you? Twenty seven?
Speaker 1: Twenty seven, twenty seven, I'm twenty eight, so I thought,
Speaker 1: I told myself. I was like, man, you know, if
Speaker 1: I don't have something going on by thirty, I got
Speaker 1: something to worry about.
Speaker 3: But you got plenty going on. You have a truck,
Speaker 3: you have a job, you're doing all right?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, Do you have anything planned out for your
Speaker 4: new tour yet?
Speaker 3: Uh? I know I'm gonna do. My plan is to
Speaker 3: do like half I think I think on my in
Speaker 3: my last tours, the show was like thirty percent my
Speaker 3: own material and seventy percent dicking around with the audience.
Speaker 3: And I think for the next one I want, I'm
Speaker 3: I'm hoping, I'm aiming it's gonna be some. It's gonna
Speaker 3: take some time to work on, but I'm hoping it'll
Speaker 3: be like half my own material, half took it around
Speaker 3: with the audience.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, well yeah, well that's showing Greenough is
Speaker 1: a super fun.
Speaker 3: Thanks man, I appreciate that. Uh dude, it was. It
Speaker 3: was great. It was great talking to you again. This
Speaker 3: is I'm reminiscing now about that night. That was a
Speaker 3: fun time.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Is that?
Speaker 3: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 3: people of the computer before we get out of here?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: No, I just want to give one more shout out
Speaker 1: to my cousin, Austin Heath, the one that was there
Speaker 1: eating half dogs with us that night. Besides that, I'm
Speaker 1: all good appliche it. Well, you have a good day.
Speaker 3: They take care, Austin. Thank you. It is raining hard
Speaker 3: out there. It is raining a lot.
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 3: Who is this?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: This is Mike.
Speaker 3: What's going on?
Speaker 2: Man, dude, I'm in a very weird crossroads in life
Speaker 2: right now. Tell me, I'm about to graduate with my
Speaker 2: degree in finance, right about to join the whole business world,
Speaker 2: the whole like numbers, data and houses all that. But then, Mike,
Speaker 2: I'm a very creative person. So on the side, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna keep writing. You know. I want to write short stories,
Speaker 2: I want to write books and all that. I've been
Speaker 2: writing for years. And it's just a very very strange
Speaker 2: place to be in because I'm I just I couldn't
Speaker 2: put all my eggs and one basket ghoth writing and
Speaker 2: I had to, you know, do some professional to support it.
Speaker 2: At the same time. Also, I'm Appalachian, So if that's
Speaker 2: interesting to you, we can talk about that as well.
Speaker 3: What is it? What does that mean? You're Appalachian, Like
Speaker 3: you're from Appalaysia.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, I am from Appalachia. My family's been
Speaker 2: there for generations. So I'm not super into, like, you know,
Speaker 2: the culture and all that. I'm just saying that's the
Speaker 2: area of grew up in. And it's a it's a
Speaker 2: When I'm saying I'm not super into the area, I
Speaker 2: don't mean like I hated or something. I just don't
Speaker 2: mean I'm like full gun ho Appalachian.
Speaker 3: Just you know what I'm saying, remind me briefly of
Speaker 3: the culture of the area.
Speaker 2: So Appalachia, one of the like the biggest part of
Speaker 2: the culture is just for a long time there was
Speaker 2: these groups of people who would just live out in
Speaker 2: the woods and just like a family or just like
Speaker 2: a single like a like a group of families or
Speaker 2: a single family in a house, just living out isolated
Speaker 2: for years, maybe decades, you know, just learning to live
Speaker 2: off the land and having a very you know, self
Speaker 2: made culture, that sort of thing, very different dialogue, different
Speaker 2: ways speaking, that sort of thing. And it's just it's
Speaker 2: just an odd place, man. And the whole culture of
Speaker 2: like people being like self sufficient, it's still part of it.
Speaker 2: And it's odd to see Apple Latcha also updating to
Speaker 2: the modern world at the same time, because it's it's
Speaker 2: you know, we live in well, this is something interesting
Speaker 2: about being from Appalacha, right, So in the modern age
Speaker 2: there's like tech and YadA YadA, and everyone's like, oh,
Speaker 2: from the sixties or eighties, it was all different. We
Speaker 2: have always been twenty years behind here. So while everyone
Speaker 2: else in like every other state was going through, you know,
Speaker 2: being modernized and like, you know, in the twenty tens
Speaker 2: being all I don't know what exactly the word is,
Speaker 2: just being like having a much more modernized culture, we'd
Speaker 2: all look outside that and we'd still be kind of
Speaker 2: stuck in like the eighties or nineties. It always felt like,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 3: That makes sense, Yeah, that makes sense. How old are you.
Speaker 2: Twenty one?
Speaker 3: I know actually twenty one and diviy do you feel
Speaker 3: like you grew up in the eighties kind of?
Speaker 2: I mean, my my parents are a bit of an
Speaker 2: exception because they were both engineers. But it's like whenever
Speaker 2: I would walk outside of my house and it's like
Speaker 2: my high school had bringer tractor to school day and
Speaker 2: I'd have to be and you know that's not something
Speaker 2: that was just specific to the eighties, but like the
Speaker 2: way people talk, the way people still drive older cars,
Speaker 2: just the kind of culture. You know, it's not we
Speaker 2: just did not we just we just don't modernize. We
Speaker 2: just didn't modernize as quickly as everyone else. We're getting
Speaker 2: to that point now because I don't think there's really
Speaker 2: any way to like run from that modern modernization anymore.
Speaker 2: But just yeah, it just felt like I was living
Speaker 2: in a different time period.
Speaker 3: So well, let's get back to you. What's your crossroads?
Speaker 3: And then maybe I wonder if in some way, shape
Speaker 3: or form, your environment has led to whatever's going on
Speaker 3: with your crossroads.
Speaker 2: The crossroads, Yeah, it's I was I was a nice slated,
Speaker 2: like younger guy when I was younger as well. It's
Speaker 2: just part of what it is. It's a lot less
Speaker 2: frowned upon I guess it kind of the way it
Speaker 2: used to be was everyone got raised by everyone else.
Speaker 2: So you know, when it was more okay that just
Speaker 2: when you could like sit on your computer and socialize
Speaker 2: people through the computer, then a lot of that kind
Speaker 2: of just happened to a lot of people, I think
Speaker 2: in my town. I don't know if that exactly makes sense.
Speaker 2: What I'm saying is I just got a long history
Speaker 2: of just being just cooked in. Sorry, man, trying to explain.
Speaker 2: So what do you mean by I explained my crossroads
Speaker 2: to explain writing?
Speaker 3: Well, hold on, first of all, everything, First of all,
Speaker 3: everything you've said so far makes perfect, So there's no
Speaker 3: reason to get flustered or frustrated. Well, okay, I mean
Speaker 3: a lot of things. Well one, first of all, what
Speaker 3: I mean by explaining your crossroads is you can't. The
Speaker 3: first thing you said on the phone pretty much was
Speaker 3: that you're at a crossroads. So that's, uh, that's what
Speaker 3: I mean. But okay, so you grew up feeling pretty isolated,
Speaker 3: Like you feel like you grew up on a computer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. I grew up on a computer, and
Speaker 2: I just grew up in like, even outside the computer,
Speaker 2: it was an isolated type of area. I grew up
Speaker 2: just reading, listening to you know, YouTube and kind of
Speaker 2: sort of stuff and like playing video games. And I
Speaker 2: think that really it was bad for me in a
Speaker 2: lot of ways. But all those years of like not brooding,
Speaker 2: brooding sounds a little darker, but just like brooding with
Speaker 2: all these creative outlets on line and just sitting in
Speaker 2: my room and really having a lot of time to
Speaker 2: introspect like deeply, like for months at a time on
Speaker 2: a certain thing I think really led me to have
Speaker 2: all this like emotion and thoughts I kind of built up,
Speaker 2: and eventually in my teens there was just like nowhere
Speaker 2: else to go, and it just went to writing.
Speaker 3: And the crossroads. You're graduating soon from college.
Speaker 2: This December, Yeah, and what are the crossroads? It's I'm
Speaker 2: passing the point of like not like being able to
Speaker 2: just not give a shit. I guess like before I
Speaker 2: could just sit around and just do nothing and play
Speaker 2: video games and all that, and now I'm I can
Speaker 2: either fall back into that and just you know, isolate
Speaker 2: myself again and go back to my hometown and just
Speaker 2: live in my parents' basement, then do nothing for a
Speaker 2: while and keep telling myself some will happen, or I
Speaker 2: can get out of that and seriously, like have to
Speaker 2: work seriously to support myself with like a finance career,
Speaker 2: and then at the same time, you know, hold onto
Speaker 2: my dreams of writing and like write at the same time.
Speaker 2: So it's just it's maybe crossroads isn't the right word,
Speaker 2: just a very large it's very.
Speaker 3: Transition, very odd transitionary period. Yeah, okay, good, I'm glad.
Speaker 3: I'm glad to hear you say that crossroads isn't the
Speaker 3: word because that means that you've chosen. Because when you
Speaker 3: were referring to this as a crossroads, the crossroad was
Speaker 3: between uh, pursuing something with your life that will engage
Speaker 3: you creatively and allow you some form of financial success
Speaker 3: and allow you to see the world and move out stuff.
Speaker 3: In the other road is to go back home and
Speaker 3: play video games in your mom's basement. Not judging, but
Speaker 3: that that's what you referred to as the crossroads.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I mean, even in college, a lot of
Speaker 2: times it would be I would still have that same
Speaker 2: sort of like air that I had, like air about myself, like, well,
Speaker 2: I can kind of goof off now, there's plenty, plenty
Speaker 2: of time. And I guess cross was just like I'm
Speaker 2: I'm passing that now. And just this huge transition from
Speaker 2: going to is is very different, like and it's just
Speaker 2: a weird, a weird place to be into like trying
Speaker 2: to build like a very professional cold and you know,
Speaker 2: non creative career and building a creative career at the
Speaker 2: same time and doing all that while moving away from
Speaker 2: you know, I I was always like a harder worker
Speaker 2: than most people. But it's it's so weird, like like,
Speaker 2: looking back, I see myself as so lazy before, which
Speaker 2: I mean, I have to have expectations if I want
Speaker 2: this stuff to work out, and I mean like work
Speaker 2: all day type of expectations.
Speaker 3: M m hm uh, well, yeah, I have multiple thought.
Speaker 3: One is if I don't know, if you have a
Speaker 3: father to say this to you, but I'm proud of
Speaker 3: you because like, yeah, uh, it's pretty easy if you
Speaker 3: want to to not fucking do anything. And our and yeah,
Speaker 3: our developments, I mean, I don't know, you're uh, you're
Speaker 3: a solid bit. You're a solid bit younger than me,
Speaker 3: six years younger than me. But I also feel like, I,
Speaker 3: you know, I don't feel like I grew up on
Speaker 3: a computer, but I had the same you know, we
Speaker 3: had social media, and we had Facebook, and we had
Speaker 3: fucking uh zoo pop trop pop troppic That's what I'm
Speaker 3: trying to think of.
Speaker 2: We had pop drop.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, all right, so we're on the same we're
Speaker 3: in the same boat a little bit. But uh, and yeah,
Speaker 3: it would be easy for you if you wanted to
Speaker 3: just stay in Appalachia, live in your mom's base and
Speaker 3: continue to not do anything. But I don't think that's
Speaker 3: what you want. And I and I get that. There's
Speaker 3: a hard transition.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I remember when I was I remember, yeah, when I
Speaker 3: was twenty two, I uh had this moment because I
Speaker 3: had also I had also kind of been spending my
Speaker 3: whole life. You know, I was being creative and I
Speaker 3: was making movies and I was doing things, and I
Speaker 3: had this Uh. I mean, you know, I'm lucky. I
Speaker 3: had a really I had a privileged upbringing. But I
Speaker 3: remember I had this. I had this thought where I
Speaker 3: was like, oh shit, I'm going to graduate college and
Speaker 3: I have to make I have to find out how
Speaker 3: to make money. I can't just like stick off. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and I had that same realization where I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: I have to make money. Do I'm having I'm twenty seven,
Speaker 3: I'm having that realization now, you know, like, uh, I
Speaker 3: have to make money. I have to do a thing
Speaker 3: to create a life and make money and I have
Speaker 3: to really work at that. And it's and it's real
Speaker 3: and it's really real. So I I go ahead, Well, there's.
Speaker 2: Not much like a staying business has left in my
Speaker 2: on my brain because like, you know, you're you do
Speaker 2: creative work. And as soon as you said make money,
Speaker 2: my first thought was to ask you, like, well, how
Speaker 2: are you you know? Uh, are you target? Are you
Speaker 2: looking at the right target market? And YadA YadA, and
Speaker 2: what's your ro o I? It's just stupid ship like that,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? But the consulting mode.
Speaker 3: But you know what, good man, good, it sounds like
Speaker 3: you have good. It's good. Don't be uh like, don't
Speaker 3: be ashamed of wanting to be in business and want
Speaker 3: and you know, thinking about your KPIs and your ro
Speaker 3: O I s and whatever, right, Like, don't be ashamed
Speaker 3: of it. It's it's uh like fuck man. Like money,
Speaker 3: money is real, you know.
Speaker 2: It.
Speaker 3: It it's real. It's the thing that you use to
Speaker 3: to kind of build a life for yourself. You can
Speaker 3: do it. You can live a life without money, but
Speaker 3: it's hard. Yeah, And I don't think that there's anything
Speaker 3: inherently evil about you being like I want to go
Speaker 3: into business and I want to try to make money.
Speaker 3: And also like you said, you you you, I'm so
Speaker 3: sorry that I forgot about this, but you said you
Speaker 3: have a creative outlet, which what was what did you
Speaker 3: mentioned your creative outlet was writing?
Speaker 2: Actually I do horror story writing.
Speaker 3: Cool. Look, man, I want you to know you, uh,
Speaker 3: don't don't be afraid of this transition, Like, don't don't
Speaker 3: be afraid, in fact, in fact, every every part of
Speaker 3: the because you can build a really nice life. You
Speaker 3: can build a really nice life.
Speaker 2: Go ahead from from Like, when you went through this
Speaker 2: transitional period, do you were like the same thing you
Speaker 2: talked about. Did you ever look back and it just
Speaker 2: it shocked or even just hurt you. I kind of
Speaker 2: see like the time you wait, I don't know. Maybe
Speaker 2: this is something basic and I don't even need to
Speaker 2: point it out because everyone's gone through it. But just
Speaker 2: how much of a shock is it for you to
Speaker 2: look back on yourself, like even just six years ago,
Speaker 2: is it like, oh, I can still relate to them
Speaker 2: for that guy a lot, or do you feel like
Speaker 2: you've changed?
Speaker 3: Like No, I feel like I feel like I can
Speaker 3: relate heavily to that guy I was thinking about. I
Speaker 3: was reading journals from six years ago, and I was like,
Speaker 3: I feel like I think when I think about six
Speaker 3: years ago, I'm like that guy was angry and I
Speaker 3: and I was reading journals that were angry journals. I
Speaker 3: was reading journals that were sad journals. I was reading
Speaker 3: journals that were ambitious journals. I was reading journals that
Speaker 3: were happy journals. And in the happiness and the anger,
Speaker 3: and the sadness and and the ambition, I felt all.
Speaker 3: I felt them, and I can all of those feelings.
Speaker 3: They're still with me, but I can deal with But
Speaker 3: I'm more mature now, I have more information, i have
Speaker 3: more knowledge, so as I navigate those familiar emotions, I'm
Speaker 3: it's still me like any like I have sadnesses and
Speaker 3: angers and ambitions and joys at twenty seven that I
Speaker 3: had when I was twenty one that are that come
Speaker 3: from that are similar things where I could write a
Speaker 3: journal now that would sound like I. If I wrote
Speaker 3: a journal that I wouldn't sound like I wrote it
Speaker 3: at twenty one. But the emotions are still there. Do
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2: No, I see what you're saying. I guess I didn't
Speaker 2: kind of look at it like that, because when I
Speaker 2: look back, I think like me and the teenager me
Speaker 2: are like two completely different persons. But I you know,
Speaker 2: I guess. I don't know. I guess the emotions we
Speaker 2: feel are always the same. I don't know. Maybe that's
Speaker 2: a maybe that's kind of what you're saying.
Speaker 3: Well, well, well, what's helpful for you right now?
Speaker 2: It's creative, like doing creative stuff like right now, I'm
Speaker 2: also trying to move away from you know, getting stuck
Speaker 2: down like dopamine spirals. I guess is the word of
Speaker 2: just like scrolling Instagram or whatever, and doing more fulfilling,
Speaker 2: creative work like the probably the enjoyment I get from
Speaker 2: five hours of or like the comfort or you know,
Speaker 2: what helps me after one day, what I would get
Speaker 2: from five hours of like scrolling, I could probably get
Speaker 2: from like ten to thirty minutes of like really good
Speaker 2: writing and seeing yeah yeah, seeing myself actually do something
Speaker 2: meaningful and creative and that that helps a lot. Or
Speaker 2: like playing guitar, not even playing it well, just like
Speaker 2: snacking the strings and just kind of feeling that flow.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah I can, I can. I this is
Speaker 3: new advice that I'm playing around with to myself. But
Speaker 3: just try to love. Just you gotta love your life,
Speaker 3: you know, like uh, like yeah, you're gonna go get it.
Speaker 3: You're gonna do something in finance that'll take a lot
Speaker 3: of hours. I don't know if it's I don't know
Speaker 3: what the job market is like where you're at. I'm
Speaker 3: not gonna pretend like I do. But if you can
Speaker 3: find a little thing that makes you, if you can
Speaker 3: find something, if you can find something that makes you
Speaker 3: enough money and leaves you enough time to write and
Speaker 3: see your family and your friends, then just start and
Speaker 3: just like maintain. I think I'm figuring it out a
Speaker 3: little bit. I'm not saying I've fully figured it out,
Speaker 3: but I'm like, I'm like getting a little For a
Speaker 3: long time, I've been thinking about, like, Okay, how do
Speaker 3: I remain ambitious and remain wanting more for my life
Speaker 3: but also so be happy at the same time. And
Speaker 3: I'm getting a little hints of maybe figuring it out.
Speaker 3: And uh, I think the the key And it's harder
Speaker 3: when you're younger, it's easier when you're older. But the
Speaker 3: key is like, just start love on your life right
Speaker 3: fucking now. Like, don't like, don't wait for a thing
Speaker 3: to happen, don't wait for an amount of money, don't
Speaker 3: wait for uh, some kind of external circumstance. Just start
Speaker 3: love it. Just like every night when you go like
Speaker 3: anything good, Like if you're eating a fucking sandwich, or
Speaker 3: you're applying to a thing, or you get a you
Speaker 3: get a you're from your finance job, you get a
Speaker 3: you look at your bank account and you get your
Speaker 3: direct deposit, or you you're sitting in your house, whether
Speaker 3: you're water or your coffee or whatever, and you're writing.
Speaker 3: Just does any time you get anything, just go. I
Speaker 3: have a good life. Is any time you get anything,
Speaker 3: just go. I have a good life. I still want more.
Speaker 3: I want to make more money. I want to write more.
Speaker 3: I want to explore more. I want to develop relations.
Speaker 3: I want more sandwiches. I want to do all this stuff.
Speaker 3: But and I'm gonna do it. But I just like,
Speaker 3: don't fucking wait to like love your life. So so
Speaker 3: the trends. So that's how I would phrase your transition.
Speaker 2: I appreciate it that. That's a good way to look
Speaker 2: at Yeah, I think I'll use that. I appreciate that
Speaker 2: good good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's real out here.
Speaker 2: I get you. Yeah, that reminds me. I'm just gonna
Speaker 2: say this real fast, because go ahead, just right on.
Speaker 2: That that reminds me of like advice I heard like,
Speaker 2: if you if you loved yourself, you treat yourself like
Speaker 2: someone you love. You know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I've been trying to dive more into that.
Speaker 2: You know. That's good man, It's it's tough, but you
Speaker 2: should love your life. And man, I'm glad it sounds
Speaker 2: like you're starting to love your life. Man. You should.
Speaker 2: You're like a get go and you get to talk
Speaker 2: to people all the I go in waves.
Speaker 3: Man, I'm gonna, I'm in. I'm for the last couple
Speaker 3: of weeks. I've been in a good wave and we'll
Speaker 3: see how long it lasts.
Speaker 2: But I I.
Speaker 3: I don't want to go back. I just don't want
Speaker 3: to go back. Fucking don't want to go back.
Speaker 2: Well, what if you don't mind me asking what sends
Speaker 2: you back? Or is that? Or do would you prefer
Speaker 2: the call to be more centered towards me?
Speaker 3: No? No, no, no, that's a that's a good question.
Speaker 3: What sends me back? Well, Uh, loneliness sends me back,
Speaker 3: A yearned yearning sends me back. Letting my brain go
Speaker 3: too far away from reality sends me back. Binge eating
Speaker 3: sends me back, Like fucking.
Speaker 2: I get ben jating that's I feel like a really
Speaker 2: I mean not to get super personal that, so I've
Speaker 2: actually that was for a very long time as well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2: Trying to think of it. I could give you there.
Speaker 2: I mean again, I'm younger, so you've probably got way
Speaker 2: better experience like working with it than I do. But
Speaker 2: trying to think, like what works for me? Have you
Speaker 2: ever you ever tried fasting?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Cool, Yeah, definitely it's hard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just gonna say that's something I've noticed lately
Speaker 2: that has geared me more towards not wanting to eat
Speaker 2: as much. Like, no, I notice when I don't eat it,
Speaker 2: when this is just like a quick thing, I'll say,
Speaker 2: when I faster a little bit, my brain works better.
Speaker 2: And I've started to prefer that state towards bingeingine. I
Speaker 2: think maybe maybe you could ride out or something like
Speaker 2: what feelings you don't enjoy or enjoy about in the
Speaker 2: state of beingining, and the feelings you enjoy and don't
Speaker 2: enjoy about like eating well, and maybe frame them somewhere
Speaker 2: so you can see them every day so you can remember, like,
Speaker 2: I don't prefer that state. I prefer in this state.
Speaker 2: And this is why but maybe you know what's.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes perfect sense. You know What's so funny though,
Speaker 3: is uh? And So I'm not saying this to dismiss
Speaker 3: your advice. The the the if I were to print out,
Speaker 3: like if I were to do what you are saying,
Speaker 3: and I were to print out and I were to
Speaker 3: like look like I had it on my phone, I
Speaker 3: was like this and I journaled. I was like, remember,
Speaker 3: this is how you feel when you're not binge eating.
Speaker 3: I could look at that, and if I'm binge eating,
Speaker 3: I could look at that and I could go, it
Speaker 3: doesn't and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how many
Speaker 3: times I've been back there. I could look at that
Speaker 3: and go, nah, it's fucking bullshit.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? I have to I have
Speaker 3: to I have to be currently feeling it, even if
Speaker 3: I felt it hundreds of times in the past, I
Speaker 3: have to be currently feeling it right now in order
Speaker 3: to be able to believe you. Do you know what
Speaker 3: I'm do You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, it's I see exactly what you're saying. I
Speaker 2: don't know, man, Maybe maybe embrace Benjing with something super
Speaker 2: heavy healthy like you have, like like you have like eggs,
Speaker 2: like boi legs. Those are pretty heavy. Maybe you just
Speaker 2: have a jar of Boi legs instead of liking something else.
Speaker 3: Listen, listen, I'm feeling okay right now. At some point
Speaker 3: we're I don't know when, and I honestly even think
Speaker 3: that accepting that this is gonna happen is part of
Speaker 3: the thing. But at some point, a fuck, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: you know, there's gonna be another At some point I'm
Speaker 3: gonna freak out again, and something bad is gonna happen,
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna eat at Pinea Bengerry's and whatever. But
Speaker 3: it will be okay, we'll go. It will cycle. I'm
Speaker 3: thinking about. I always think about what that lady said
Speaker 3: on the podcast the other Weaker Day or whatever, where
Speaker 3: it's like life is like a spiral and you start
Speaker 3: in the middle and you go outward. I'm like, I know,
Speaker 3: I'm I know we're I know these cycles. I know
Speaker 3: that they're not I know we're coming back. But I've
Speaker 3: been down and come back for like eight million times
Speaker 3: that I just know it's possible. And each time I don't,
Speaker 3: you know, jump off a fucking roof, uh, you know,
Speaker 3: each time I don't jump off a fucking roof. We
Speaker 3: get better at uh, we just get better at life.
Speaker 3: We just keep getting better at life every time. Every
Speaker 3: this is I could keep trying to put in new
Speaker 3: Jerry's flavors. Folks at folks. Every time you don't kill yourself.
Speaker 3: You get a little bit better at life every time,
Speaker 3: every time you don't kill yourself.
Speaker 2: But that's a good way to look at it. That's
Speaker 2: a win you have every every hour.
Speaker 3: What's your name again?
Speaker 4: Man?
Speaker 3: Did I give you a name or did you tell
Speaker 3: me your name? You can call me Mike man, Mike, Mike,
Speaker 3: is nice talking to you. I think you're gonna be okay.
Speaker 3: I'm you're you got it. You're a smart guy.
Speaker 2: Thank you man. Thank you. Can I call you? Get go?
Speaker 3: You can call me Gecko.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Get go.
Speaker 3: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 3: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 2: Always give someone the benefit of the doubt, no matter
Speaker 2: who you meet, Always assume they know something you don't know,
Speaker 2: and you can find out by talking to them. I
Speaker 2: like it.
Speaker 3: Thank you very much, Thank you, Mike. I appreciate you.
Speaker 2: Call your show in Nashville with Shaggy Too Dope, and
Speaker 2: it was really great.
Speaker 3: Oh helly, will you would you come back if I
Speaker 3: went there in uh twenty twenty six?
Speaker 2: Absolute lately, I would all right absolutely come back.
Speaker 3: Okay, cool, Yeah, because I'm planning. I'm planning my twenty
Speaker 3: twenty six tour, so hopefully people come.
Speaker 2: That'd be cool, dude, I do please, let's see. I mean,
Speaker 2: if you're feeling it, man, if you're feeling.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm I'm. I wasn't
Speaker 3: feeling it for like a year, but now I'm feeling
Speaker 3: it again. I'm so I'm excited. Okay, yeah, And if
Speaker 3: I meet you, you could be like, I'm the guy
Speaker 3: we talked about Appalachia and how I'm going through a crossroads.
Speaker 2: I'll bring you a Gecko horror story.
Speaker 3: Oh that sounds great. That sounds great. Okay, beautif Well,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna I'm back to Nashville. We'll meet in person. Nice,
Speaker 3: all right, beautiful, Good take care of Mike.
Speaker 2: Thanks, take care, go go.
Speaker 3: This is Mike. He's a nice guy. Hey, guys, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna end this episode by doing some viewer mail. I've
Speaker 3: been enjoying the hybrid male phone call approach, so uh,
Speaker 3: let's do that. Let's read some viewer mail and again,
Speaker 3: if you want to send in any viewer mail, you
Speaker 3: can send it to therapy geckomail at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3: And without further ado, let's read some viewer mail to
Speaker 3: end the Gecko session today. Okay, this is from Kline.
Speaker 3: Subject line I don't like being the quiet guy. Hey, Lyle,
Speaker 3: my name is Klein. For some reason, I often get
Speaker 3: referred to as being a quiet person. I don't have
Speaker 3: an issue with talking to people, but I don't initially
Speaker 3: start conversations, and I get confused as to why people
Speaker 3: find this to be an issue. I talk a lot
Speaker 3: around my friends, but I don't have the urge to
Speaker 3: strike up a conversation with strangers or people I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't see awkward silences as awkward. I find silence peaceful,
Speaker 3: and yet I feel like it's expected in American culture
Speaker 3: to just talk to people. But I don't see much
Speaker 3: of a point in making small talk. I like to
Speaker 3: chime into conversations if I have something funny or interesting
Speaker 3: to say, but not if I don't see a reason
Speaker 3: to spout nonsense. I recognize that I'm more of an
Speaker 3: introverted person, but I don't like being labeled as the
Speaker 3: quiet guy. The label is almost always worded in a
Speaker 3: negative connotation, like it feels like people look at me
Speaker 3: and expect that I contribute more whenever I feel content
Speaker 3: and comfortable with how I act currently. Do I just
Speaker 3: accept this label and learn not to take it so personally,
Speaker 3: or do I try to change and work on talking more.
Speaker 3: I've gotten better at making small talk by asking questions,
Speaker 3: but I could probably work on it more if I
Speaker 3: wanted to. Thanks Kliin. You know, client, It's funny because
Speaker 3: there are certain situations I'll just talk about myself for
Speaker 3: a second. There's certain situations which I feel very introverted
Speaker 3: and like I don't really want to talk to people,
Speaker 3: not even because I'm like, uh, shy or nervous, but yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm with you about where I'm like, and I don't
Speaker 3: really feel the need to talk to these people or
Speaker 3: be a part of this conversation. Like, you know, if
Speaker 3: I want to talk to someone, i'll talk to them.
Speaker 3: If I don't really care that much, I won't And
Speaker 3: it can feel weird sometimes, but I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 3: run a quote by you. It's a good quote. It's
Speaker 3: by some dead guy. Let's see what Let's see what
Speaker 3: a dead guy this quote is by. I'll say the
Speaker 3: quote first. It is better to stay silent and be
Speaker 3: thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove
Speaker 3: all doubt. Who said that? Some fucking guy who's fucking dead.
Speaker 3: It is better to stay silent and be thought of
Speaker 3: Who said that?
Speaker 2: That was a.
Speaker 3: It was a throw Uh it was as this guy,
Speaker 3: Arthur burn I think it was Arthur Burns. Wait, Abraham Lincoln. Okay,
Speaker 3: it's a a bunch of different dead guys came together
Speaker 3: to say that. But it doesn't matter because it doesn't
Speaker 3: matter anyway. Uh, It's true. I do believe that in
Speaker 3: a sense. I do believe that, like, there is power
Speaker 3: to silence. And I've dude, I've noticed that if you're
Speaker 3: in a group of people and you're staying silent, if
Speaker 3: you choose, if you very strategically choose when to talk,
Speaker 3: people will actually listen to you. Whereas if you just
Speaker 3: keep fucking blabbering on and you're not even being intentional,
Speaker 3: nobody will. You know, it's like you get talked over.
Speaker 3: But I think, yeah, I do think that you could
Speaker 3: learn to accept the label and not take it personally.
Speaker 3: You're asking if you should try to change and work
Speaker 3: on talking more. You could, I mean, is that something
Speaker 3: you really want to do? I think I think you
Speaker 3: seem like you do like people. You don't seem like
Speaker 3: you are like a misangrist or anything like that. You
Speaker 3: don't seem like you hate being around people or you're
Speaker 3: violently shy or anything like that, but just that you
Speaker 3: kind of are like, I don't need to be in
Speaker 3: this conversation right now, but I don't. I think I
Speaker 3: think they, even introverted people, they want to connect with others.
Speaker 3: And I get the sense that you want to connect
Speaker 3: with others. You wrote here, you said, it feels like
Speaker 3: people look at me and expect that I contribute more
Speaker 3: whenever I feel content and comfortable with how I act currently.
Speaker 3: Do you feel content and comfortable with how you are currently?
Speaker 3: Because that's the most important thing. Like, there's two types
Speaker 3: of versions of you that you could be. You could
Speaker 3: be a guy who really wants to connect with people
Speaker 3: and really wants to be a part of these conversations,
Speaker 3: but it's just feeling a little shy and whatever. And
Speaker 3: in that case it might be better to. It might
Speaker 3: be good to kind of learn and force yourself to
Speaker 3: talk to other people. Or you could be a guy
Speaker 3: that's like, I'm just completely quietly confident in who I am,
Speaker 3: and I don't need to chime in on a useless
Speaker 3: conversation to prove that to anybody. So I would think
Speaker 3: about whichever one of those people that you really feel
Speaker 3: like you are inside and act accordingly. This is from Jake.
Speaker 3: Subject line Ketamine saved me. Hey, GEK love YOUA. My
Speaker 3: name is Crash. It's you know, people the name in
Speaker 3: the email. Maybe it should just make all the emails
Speaker 3: anonymous or whatever. Who cares, Jake Crash doesn't matter. Hi,
Speaker 3: GEK love YOUA. My name is Crash. Been a fan
Speaker 3: for a long time. I know the email is odd,
Speaker 3: but it stands for proof that utch are revolving. Oh
Speaker 3: he's talking about his email address. I'm not gonna read
Speaker 3: your email address, okay. But anyways, Ketamine, I always thought
Speaker 3: it was just a dissociative, which it is, but I
Speaker 3: thought it meant, oh, you can't talk to your hands
Speaker 3: or whatever. But no, it turns everything wonky. It is
Speaker 3: the drug that when drugs are portrayed, it is the
Speaker 3: drug that when drugs are portrayed on movies. Okay, Uh,
Speaker 3: the way this email is written is a little difficult,
Speaker 3: so I'm gonna I'm gonna, I'm gonna read this.
Speaker 2: Uh what is it?
Speaker 3: Ad hoc?
Speaker 2: Is that right?
Speaker 3: What does ad hoc mean? Ad howk? Okay? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: that sort of makes sense. Okay, Yeah, I think I'm
Speaker 3: gonna read this ad hoc. I'm gonna just correct his
Speaker 3: errors in my Okay. It is the drug that is
Speaker 3: similar to how drugs are portrayed on movies. It's a
Speaker 3: fever trip. It's a it's a fever dream. It's a trip,
Speaker 3: but it has no bad side, no other side. It's
Speaker 3: heavy and light. It doesn't make sense, but it makes
Speaker 3: all the sense. It's perspective. It can make you massive
Speaker 3: and tiny at the same time. I have heard of
Speaker 3: K therapy and boy it's real. You won't have the
Speaker 3: ego death, but you will understand that we are the
Speaker 3: directors of life. Like a movie, it pulls back the
Speaker 3: curtain so that your perspective changes. I don't think you
Speaker 3: are depressed. I think you see it from the wrong angle.
Speaker 3: Some good K will change how you see things. The
Speaker 3: trip reminds me of traveling the surface tension bubble of
Speaker 3: a water. The trip reminds me of traveling the surface
Speaker 3: tension bubble of water on a quarter. It's the whole thing,
Speaker 3: plus some without breaking anyways, Love you Ghek. Your docs
Speaker 3: are amazing. You've been helpful to so many. Stay Green,
Speaker 3: Stay Lyah, love Crash, Thank you Crash. Did you write
Speaker 3: this while you were on the ketamine? Were you doing ketemy?
Speaker 3: Were you doing like actual ketemine therapy or were you
Speaker 3: just like recreationally doing ketmye Because I've been trying, I've
Speaker 3: been really considering I was gonna do that today, uh,
Speaker 3: making an appointment for ketamine therapy. I've been really thinking
Speaker 3: about it because you know, as everyone who listens to
Speaker 3: this podcast knows, I want you to fuck up about
Speaker 3: existential stuff. And my understanding is that ketamine is helpful
Speaker 3: for depression and that it's helpful for those things. So
Speaker 3: I kind of want to give it a try. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't know. Oh well, if this guy Crash says
Speaker 3: it's good, then I should do it.
Speaker 2: Maybe.
Speaker 3: Okay. This is from Oh here we go, all right?
Speaker 3: This is from Alison. Subject line polyamory made me an
Speaker 3: alcoholic Hello, gek Man. You can call me Alison. I've
Speaker 3: been a long time enjoyer of your podcast, and since
Speaker 3: you have been reading more mail, I thought I would
Speaker 3: throw my hat into the ring of stories. So to
Speaker 3: make a long story short, I am a third year
Speaker 3: engineer major and my dating experience this year has been insane.
Speaker 3: I have been dating my current boyfriend for three months now.
Speaker 3: A month ago, he wanted to try having a threesome.
Speaker 3: For context, everyone involved in the school is involved in
Speaker 3: a club at my college that is known for being
Speaker 3: queer and having a ton of polyamory within. I am demisexual.
Speaker 3: I did not want to casually hook up with another person.
Speaker 3: For those who don't know what that means, demi sexual
Speaker 3: is like, uh, someone who only wants to have a
Speaker 3: like a physical connection with somebody that they have a
Speaker 3: strong mental connection with. I used to not know what
Speaker 3: that means, and I thought it was like a like
Speaker 3: I thought there was a new sex thing that was
Speaker 3: like a demi sex.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: That led us to figure out I needed to get
Speaker 3: a second boyfriend, and we quickly found a mutual friend
Speaker 3: that I fell head over heels for. Before starting the
Speaker 3: second relationship, the second boy mentioned talking to another friend,
Speaker 3: but that those plans weren't concrete at all. Flash forward
Speaker 3: a week, Boy two is love bombing me hardcore, and
Speaker 3: I was eating it all up. Me and the two
Speaker 3: boys hang out to watch movies, and you can guess
Speaker 3: what happened. Okay, all right, all right? The next day
Speaker 3: after and making it The next day after, Boy two
Speaker 3: makes it official with me, but he also makes it
Speaker 3: official with another girl. It kind of stung, but I
Speaker 3: chalked it up to jealousy. He then proceeds to stop
Speaker 3: messaging me as much and only posting the other girl,
Speaker 3: which ate away at my mental state. It is, isn't
Speaker 3: it so fucking This has been talked about to death?
Speaker 3: But like, isn't it so fucking weird? How much like whatever,
Speaker 3: Facebook and Instagram and all that stuff has like influenced
Speaker 3: all of our relationships and whatnot. I was constantly overthinking
Speaker 3: the situation, having anxiety attacks at work and coming home
Speaker 3: from my internship and drinking. It got to the point
Speaker 3: where I was constantly crying since I felt I was
Speaker 3: last place in a situation that should not have been
Speaker 3: a race. With encouragement from my roommates and the first
Speaker 3: boy I called boy too and broke shit off. It
Speaker 3: all sucked with everything else going on wrong in my life,
Speaker 3: and I still drink way too much, but at least
Speaker 3: I escaped that bad situation. Nothing against people who enjoy polyamory,
Speaker 3: it's just.
Speaker 2: Not for me.
Speaker 3: Wait a minute, so, okay, this is a little The
Speaker 3: only reason this is a little funny to me is that,
Speaker 3: like this whole time, like what's up with the first guy? Okay,
Speaker 3: because so you start dating. Okay, so you're dating, you're
Speaker 3: your boyfriend, right, and then this other guy comes into place,
Speaker 3: and then he gets a second boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever,
Speaker 3: and okay, so yeah, the second guy gets a girlfriend,
Speaker 3: and then you're like upset that he has another girlfriend.
Speaker 3: And then you're like and then you're like, I feel
Speaker 3: like I'm in last place in this situation. No, boy,
Speaker 3: the first boyfriend is definitely in last place. In this situation.
Speaker 3: You're not in last place. The first boyfriend, who is
Speaker 3: like coaching you through the breakup, that is, you know,
Speaker 3: eating away at you with the second boyfriend, he is
Speaker 3: in last place. You're in You're in third place in
Speaker 3: this situation. You're not in last The boy number one,
Speaker 3: I want to read his email, what's going on with
Speaker 3: this guy? Because here's the thing, I don't you don't
Speaker 3: seem like you're like into polyamory. I think if you
Speaker 3: were into poly I think if you were truly okay
Speaker 3: with polyamory, you wouldn't be having anxiety attacks and overthinking
Speaker 3: the situation and you know, having to drink to deal
Speaker 3: with the jealousy. I think you just like, I think
Speaker 3: you just didn't like your current boyfriend and you liked
Speaker 3: this other guy, and you thought you could handle this
Speaker 3: whole thing, but you couldn't. But no, you were not
Speaker 3: in last place. Boy number one is in last place.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know, I don't know who boy
Speaker 3: number one is. Maybe he just wants to be friends
Speaker 3: with you, and you know, that's it, and you know,
Speaker 3: hopefully he's living his life and hopefully he's happy doing
Speaker 3: his thing. But yeah, sounds sounds like polyamory is not
Speaker 3: for you, which is totally fine. I'm sure that you
Speaker 3: will eventually find a a boyfriend that, uh is you
Speaker 3: like that you could just be the have the one.
Speaker 3: Nothing wrong with just having the one, all right, m
Speaker 3: I think that's it. Yeah, I think that's it. I
Speaker 3: think that's enough. Email a right, maybe we'll get do
Speaker 3: one more the well, let's see if I can find
Speaker 3: a quick one. This is from Caden, subject line I
Speaker 3: got rid of my speech impediment with a septum piercing.
Speaker 2: Yo.
Speaker 3: My name is Caden. I'm twenty three years old and
Speaker 3: two months ago I got my septim pierced. I've had
Speaker 3: a stutter since five years old and have always had
Speaker 3: a lot to say, accompanied with a lot of tongue
Speaker 3: biting and silence. Not giving my septum credit for helping
Speaker 3: me move past that phase of life, but rather the
Speaker 3: mindset I had when getting it. Who cares if they
Speaker 3: see me like this? For the longest time, I was
Speaker 3: extremely cautious with what I said and how I say,
Speaker 3: which led me to orchestrate my thoughts, reactions, and responses.
Speaker 3: Your show has helped tremendously. Not giving you full credit either, lol,
Speaker 3: that's okay, you don't have to give me any credit.
Speaker 3: But listening to how imperfect and human each conversation is
Speaker 3: and your stance on entering and exiting the world has
Speaker 3: woken me up. Blackness a snap, then back to blackness.
Speaker 3: Oh god, Oh I wish I could forget about all
Speaker 3: that shit, that's all right. It's truly a beautiful thing.
Speaker 3: I've been giving more compliments. I've been talking with everyone comfortably.
Speaker 3: I'm not intimidated by people of a higher standing or
Speaker 3: status anymore. I can order my own fucking food. They
Speaker 3: wrote that in old caps. My foundation in life is
Speaker 3: slowly being built by snippets of how you live life.
Speaker 3: And I've never been so at peace.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: That was Caden. I think what's going on with Caden
Speaker 3: is that they're they're realizing that nothing matters in a
Speaker 3: good way. I like an optimist sick nihilism. I do
Speaker 3: kind of wish sometimes I could forget about I don't
Speaker 3: think that's doing in in in nihilism all day. Uh
Speaker 3: is good. I've noticed there is a lot of people
Speaker 3: out there who they go years and years and years
Speaker 3: without or even their entire life without thinking these existential thoughts.
Speaker 3: But not everyone is so uh, you know, not everyone's
Speaker 3: brain works that way, and some people, you know, some
Speaker 3: people could use some other fucking existential thoughts, you know.
Speaker 3: But it sounds like it's it's been really helpful for
Speaker 3: this person, Caden. You know, they're like, oh, I don't
Speaker 3: give a fuck anymore. When they said I'm not intimidated
Speaker 3: by people of a higher status anymore. Yeah, dude, once
Speaker 3: you fucking bro, once you, once you really like start
Speaker 3: to get it. I think all like status games are
Speaker 3: like nothing like because you realize that we're all on
Speaker 3: the level playing field of just you know, being flimsy humans. Right.
Speaker 3: So I'm glad. I'm glad that these thoughts have been
Speaker 3: helpful to you, Kayden. And you can order your own food.
Speaker 2: Hmm.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I see what you mean. The stutter of
Speaker 3: like it's not maybe not like was your speech impediments
Speaker 3: related to like overthinking about how people see you and
Speaker 3: maybe once you got the septum piers and you were like,
Speaker 3: I don't really care how people see me at all.
Speaker 3: I think this is in the Therapy Gecko podcast. I
Speaker 3: think my name is Lyle, and I think I'm gonna go,
Speaker 3: but leave some comments on the Spotify page. Share the
Speaker 3: podcast with your friends, give it a thumbs up or
Speaker 3: a shake of the tale or whatever you gotta give it.
Speaker 3: Share it with your friends, tell the world about the
Speaker 3: Therapy Gecko show. I hope you enjoy it. That's it.
Speaker 3: That's me. I'll be back again on the next episode.
Speaker 3: Send an email therapy Gecko mail at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3: That's therapy Gecko mail at gmail dot com. Thank you
Speaker 3: very much, geck bless see you guys around the universe.
Speaker 3: Goes on the line than your phone calls every nine.
Speaker 1: She knows about in
Speaker 3: Your life, but he's not really an expert.