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Speaker 1: Hello, Yeah, can you hear me?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: What's up?

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Speaker 2: Man?

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Speaker 3: What's your name?

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Speaker 1: My name is Austin, Austin Corey.

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Speaker 3: Austin Corey. I'll take a for why not first and

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Speaker 3: last name.

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Speaker 2: It's all good.

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Speaker 3: That's good. We can use that for something. What's going on,

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Speaker 3: Austin Corey. What's happening with you today?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Nothing much. I'm at work right now smoking a blunt.

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Speaker 1: I can't believe I got through to you.

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Speaker 3: Have we spoken before, we've.

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Speaker 2: Actually met before.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's like okay to say or whatever.

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Speaker 1: But we met in Michigan and we went and got

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Speaker 1: hot dogs.

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Speaker 3: Yes, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait do

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Speaker 3: we did? We go to like a diner kind of

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Speaker 3: a place?

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Speaker 2: Yep?

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Speaker 1: Yep, me and it was me and my cousin Austin.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, bro, I got in your fucking truck and we

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Speaker 3: went to like a diner place.

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Speaker 2: Right, yep?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that was me, that was my trust.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I remember you, man, Oh man, I remember you, dude.

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Speaker 3: That was a fun night. Oh yeah, that was a

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Speaker 3: fun night. Yeah. That was after oh god, that was

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Speaker 3: after Grand Rapids was Grand Ship? Yeah, I was thinking that.

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Speaker 3: I was thinking that was in Detroit. Yeah, that was

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Speaker 3: in Grand Rapids. I had a show in the Pyramid Scheme,

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Speaker 3: and I was just, you know, I'm in fucking Grand Rapids, Michigan.

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Speaker 3: I don't have anything to do, and uh yeah, I

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Speaker 3: get in your car and we get high and we

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Speaker 3: go to this like chili dog place with you, with

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Speaker 3: you and your cousin. We just chit chat. That was fun.

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Speaker 3: That was a fun night, dude, what's up.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't believe that you actually came with us. I

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Speaker 1: was like, man, he doesn't know us at all. We

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Speaker 1: could kidnap him and do weird things and you just

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Speaker 1: hop right in the truck and it was. It was

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Speaker 1: one of the best nights I ever had.

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Speaker 3: Oh man, I'm so happy to talk to you again.

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Speaker 3: That was a fun night for me. Well, yeah, when

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Speaker 3: I go on tour, I uh or even when I'm

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Speaker 3: not just in general, I'm like, I don't know, I

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Speaker 3: like a good adventure. I like it good let's see

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Speaker 3: where this thing goes. And I tend to have a

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Speaker 3: I did like, I don't know, I'm good at susting

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Speaker 3: people out, I think. And I didn't have a sense

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Speaker 3: from you that you were going to kill me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, definitely don't give off killer vibes.

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Speaker 2: But I was like, wow.

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Speaker 1: He's so trusting and you ended up being like the

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Speaker 1: nicest person ever. I couldn't believe it. Than sorry, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if this is a good stream you know

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Speaker 1: stuff or whatever, but I was like, holy shit, I

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Speaker 1: want to get Can I give a shout out to

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Speaker 1: my cousin that we that we ate with a shout

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Speaker 1: out to Austin. He he should give you a call sometime.

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Speaker 1: He I don't want to put his business out there.

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Speaker 1: But he ended up finding out he had cancer like

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Speaker 1: right after that, really and a bunch of like yeah,

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Speaker 1: you remember how you remember how nice he was of

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Speaker 1: a person and everything?

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Speaker 3: So is he Is he all right?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah he's okay.

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Speaker 1: Now, you know, but he just has gone through a

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Speaker 1: bunch of crazy things since then. I always tell him like, man,

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Speaker 1: you need to call into the get Go and talk

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Speaker 1: to him about it.

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Speaker 3: Is he cancer free now?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah he's I believe he's all good now?

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Speaker 3: So oh cool? Good?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Good? So damn are you Are you playing in any

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Speaker 1: tours again anytime soon?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I'm I don't know if I'm gonna come back to uh,

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Speaker 3: Grand I mean, if they'll have me, I'll come back

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Speaker 3: to Grand Rapids.

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Speaker 1: But if I gotta travel to come see, I will

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Speaker 1: especially that now like you, I was like, man, I

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Speaker 1: hope he remembers me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, of course I remember that. Of course I

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Speaker 3: remember that. Yeah, I'm I'm I'm planning a tour in

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty six. I'm gonna come to at least like

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Speaker 3: the big major cities. But yeah, yeah, if there's enough interest,

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Speaker 3: I'll definitely come to uh Detroit or Grand rap Yeah. Wait,

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Speaker 3: hold on, let me see if I wrote I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: I mean, I keep a journal. I'm gonna see if

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Speaker 3: I wrote about the US in my journal at all,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna see. Maybe it'll help jog wack. This was in.

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Speaker 3: This was in twenty twenty four, and like, when the fuck?

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Speaker 3: Do you remember what months this was in?

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Speaker 1: It was sometime in the summer, I believe.

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Speaker 2: I don't remember for sure, but.

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Speaker 1: I remember we were smoking blunt outside and shorts and

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Speaker 1: T shirts.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, wait, Grand Rapids. Maybe maybe let's see. Did

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Speaker 3: I did I journal about this shit? I remember we

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Speaker 3: did it. That was funny shit, man.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, every time when I meet somebody I new I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 1: do you know the therapy echo and they're like yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, my guys, my homie. We we went and

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Speaker 1: got some chili dogs.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, I wrote here. I was like, I

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Speaker 3: had a fantastic show that was so much fun at

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Speaker 3: this tiny punk venue with pinball machines, and then I

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Speaker 3: went out to get cony dogs afterwards with these two

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Speaker 3: dudes named Austin. Wait you guys are you guys are

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Speaker 3: both named Austin.

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Speaker 1: Right, yeah, Austin and Austin. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I drove with them in their truck and we hung

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Speaker 3: out and ate food and tucked. So there we go.

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Speaker 3: Damn good to see you again, man. Okay, so what's

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Speaker 3: so all right? So what's up with you, Austin? What's

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Speaker 3: been going? Any any updates? I don't remember? I don't

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Speaker 3: I know that we met and hung out, but I

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Speaker 3: my memory is not good enough to remember exactly what

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Speaker 3: we talked about when we hung out with each other.

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Speaker 3: Any any updates on your life since then?

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Speaker 1: Uh? Nothing? Crazy. I got into a fight with my

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Speaker 1: cousin a couple of weeks ago. He was he was drunk,

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Speaker 1: drunk and acting crazy, so I had to put a

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Speaker 1: whooping on him. But besides that, nothing, nothing super crazy

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Speaker 1: to talk about. So I'm just so glad that you answered.

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Speaker 1: I was like, holy shit, I'm I'm at work right now,

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Speaker 1: but I pulled over as soon as I heard hello.

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Speaker 3: I was like, oh my gosh, remind me of what

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Speaker 3: you do for work.

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Speaker 1: I'm a lawns I work outside and mo lawns, so

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Speaker 1: do like landscaping and shit.

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Speaker 3: So is that is that an easy job to do

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Speaker 3: while you're high? It seems like it's a doable job

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Speaker 3: while you're high.

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Speaker 1: It's a very easy job. I think it's easier to

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Speaker 1: do while I'm high versus well, I'm not high. When

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Speaker 1: you're high, it just makes everything smooth and you don't

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Speaker 1: really care about, you know, things too much, and it

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Speaker 1: it makes it easier to work with my customers, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I'm kind of extra happy and giggly.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: All my customers love me. I got a little old

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Speaker 1: lady that I mow, and I just left her house

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Speaker 1: and she she bakes me a hope like tray of

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Speaker 1: sending holes.

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Speaker 2: Cool. That's awesome.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a good, good job, and I like to

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Speaker 1: I like to work outside where you know, I'm not

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Speaker 1: I can be outside and be in nature versus being

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Speaker 1: locked down in the building all day. I can never

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Speaker 1: work that work in the building. And you know, like

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Speaker 1: people that have to ask for permission to go to

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Speaker 1: the bathroom and stuff. You know, like I'm not in

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Speaker 1: school anymore. I don't want to have to ask permission

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Speaker 1: to go to the bathroom.

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Speaker 3: Do you just go to the bathroom like on the lawn?

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Speaker 1: It depends, you know. I got a couple of properties

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Speaker 1: where I can do that, but you know, no I

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Speaker 1: work with I have one person that works with me,

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Speaker 1: but I'm the boss. So if I want to pull

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Speaker 1: over and you know, roll some weed up or pull

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Speaker 1: over and go to the bathroom, I can, you know,

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Speaker 1: do whatever I want.

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Speaker 3: Does anyone get pissed off of you for getting high

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Speaker 3: on the job?

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Speaker 1: Uh? I don't think so. Not that I've never gotten

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Speaker 1: any complaints. I've only gotten positive things. A couple of

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Speaker 1: weeks ago, I had a neighbor come out and give

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Speaker 1: me a custom to come out and give me some

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Speaker 1: weed as a tip.

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Speaker 2: So that was pretty cool.

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Speaker 3: Nice man. When we were talking, do you have a

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Speaker 3: girlfriend at the time or were you like seeing someone? Uh?

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Speaker 1: No, just I've just been banging ladies. Man, lately, I

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Speaker 1: need to settle down here soon. I'm twenty eight, so

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Speaker 1: I know I was when we talked. I think I'm

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Speaker 1: only like a year older than you. But you know,

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Speaker 1: we're kind of getting older, both of us, both me

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Speaker 1: and you.

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Speaker 2: You know, we're kind of losing.

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Speaker 1: Losing potential potential mates, you know what I mean. Every

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Speaker 1: day there's more and more girls our age that are

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Speaker 1: getting knocked up and getting pregnant, and the first time

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Speaker 1: I have a kid, I would like to hopefully have

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Speaker 1: a kid with somebody that doesn't have a child already,

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Speaker 1: you know, So I definitely need to settle down. How

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Speaker 1: do you feel about that I have a lady right now?

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Speaker 3: I don't But I get dude, I don't know. I

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Speaker 3: I disagree with you a little bit in the sense that, like,

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Speaker 3: I mean, I'm twenty, I'm about to turn twenty eight,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, you know, I don't know, like the

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Speaker 3: way I look at times, like man, you know, if

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Speaker 3: I like, fuck, if I just like I could kind

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Speaker 3: of whatever for the next what uh seven years, and

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Speaker 3: I'll be thirty five and I could meet a nice

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Speaker 3: you know, thirty twenty eight, twenty nine year old lady,

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Speaker 3: you know, and then you know, thirty seven, maybe we

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Speaker 3: have kids. I'm like, there's there's there's room, you know,

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Speaker 3: there's room to like do this shit it feels.

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Speaker 2: You see.

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Speaker 1: That's kind of how I feel like. I'm in a

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Speaker 1: position myself where I personally don't want to rush going

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Speaker 1: into a relationship.

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Speaker 3: Exact, I don't want to. I don't want to rush it,

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Speaker 3: and I don't feel like I have time to rush it. Sorry, sorry,

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Speaker 3: go ahead, especially rush.

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Speaker 1: I definitely don't want to rush having a kid with somebody.

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Speaker 1: I've seen like so many people you know, have kids

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Speaker 1: and then you know, as soon as they have a kid,

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Speaker 1: their relationship just turns into ship. And uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: when I finally want to have a kid and feel

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Speaker 1: like I'm ready to have a kid, you know, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to feel like it's rushed.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: I feel like those kinds of things kinda will come

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Speaker 1: to you in a sense, you know, Like I don't

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Speaker 1: feel like I need to kind of hunt down somebody,

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Speaker 1: you know, but I have like like my family will

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Speaker 1: say weird things to me like that, like as far

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Speaker 1: as like oh you need to you know, get check

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Speaker 1: up with with the girl and you know, have kids

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Speaker 1: soon blah blah blah. But you know, I kind of

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Speaker 1: just feel like that's something that will come to me

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Speaker 1: when the time is right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been coming around to the idea of, like,

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Speaker 3: I don't know, being like a step dead. I think

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Speaker 3: I'd like to have kids, but I'm like, if I

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Speaker 3: don't know, it's I would, dude. I've been thinking about this.

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Speaker 3: I'm like thinking about like how fucking insane it'll feel,

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Speaker 3: because I look at having kids as like a far

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Speaker 3: off thing. But even when I'm like, even if I

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Speaker 3: do wait the amount of time I want to wait,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like or the amount of time I'm waiting

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Speaker 3: in my head, and I'm like thirty six, thirty seven, whatever,

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Speaker 3: I'm still me. You know, I still and I think

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Speaker 3: me the idea of looking at a child that I've

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Speaker 3: created that feels like so freakyly existential to me that

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Speaker 3: I'm like, whoa, that's kind of fucking crazy. But it

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Speaker 3: also it seems so it seems so nice, it seems

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Speaker 3: so normal of a thing. It seems like a good

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Speaker 3: thing to do with, uh, your life. I mean, it's

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Speaker 3: literally the if you have to if you had to go.

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Speaker 3: If you had to consult the the User Manual of

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Speaker 3: your Human Body for the Meaning of Life, it literally

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Speaker 3: tells you that your your your objective is to uh,

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Speaker 3: you know, is to have sex, but for you know,

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Speaker 3: for the purpose of procreation. Like that's like the body's

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Speaker 3: objective is survive by eating food and water and then

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Speaker 3: pro create. That's in the User man.

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Speaker 1: Does that stress you out at all? Like the potential

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Speaker 1: of like would you be okay with with not having kids?

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Speaker 3: Well, you know, when I really think about it, it

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Speaker 3: stresses me out for sure, But I just I'm like, so,

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Speaker 3: I don't know, I feel like I got some time,

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Speaker 3: so I'm not stressed out about Yeah, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, yeah we're still young lads, but you know, fucking

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Speaker 1: that clock is is definitely clicking, you know. And I

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Speaker 1: I also have a weird thing right now still where

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's it's childish or not, but

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Speaker 1: I really like to do what I want to do

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Speaker 1: when I want to do it, you know, and it's

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Speaker 1: it's tough when you got a girlfriend, you know, they're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: let's go shopping, let's do this, let's do this, you know,

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Speaker 1: and they'll ask you to go do a bunch of

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Speaker 1: things that you might not necessarily want to do, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I'm a very very busy guy. So it's but

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Speaker 1: at the same time, you know, when if you're just

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Speaker 1: having sex with people that you're not in like an

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Speaker 1: actual relationship, you know, you don't really get anything meaningful

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Speaker 1: out of it. And I do miss having a partner

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Speaker 1: to you know, experience things with.

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Speaker 3: I guess, yeah, of course, of course I think that. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I mean it's a give and take, right because I'm

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Speaker 3: the same way I'm I'm like, you know, I'm crazy.

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Speaker 3: I'm like I'm gonna go to Iraq for a week,

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Speaker 3: or I'm gonna go out to this random thing or

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Speaker 3: do this or try this or whatever, you know. But

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Speaker 3: I guess ideally, ideally, whoever I've whoever ends up like

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Speaker 3: being you know, my partner probably you know, is like okay,

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Speaker 3: like knows that I'm like that and is on board

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Speaker 3: for it. But you but no matter what, you could

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Speaker 3: have somebody who's like totally on board, totally whatever. But

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Speaker 3: you always, if you're you know, living life with another person,

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Speaker 3: you have to make concessions no matter what, especially if

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Speaker 3: you like hat another person. Yeah, you gotta make concessions,

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Speaker 3: but I think I don't know. I'm not let's talk again.

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Speaker 3: We gotta talk again in ten years because I don't

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Speaker 3: have enough information. I don't have enough wisdom to really

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Speaker 3: It's true, I don't have enough wisdom to fully engage

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Speaker 3: in this conversation with you. I feel like if we

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Speaker 3: had this conversation, I feel like ourus having this conversation

300
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Speaker 3: now and us having this conversation ten years from now,

301
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Speaker 3: we're both gonna have totally different views on it. But

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Speaker 3: because I don't know if, I'm like like, I don't know.

303
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Speaker 3: I look at my life right now, and I'm you know,

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Speaker 3: I'm the single, I live by myself. I don't like

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, it's some nights's cool. It's like, you know,

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Speaker 3: some nights's cool and some nights you're like, oh, I

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Speaker 3: think the whole point of this was to like build

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Speaker 3: a real life. And then I'm like, wait, wouldn't it

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Speaker 3: be awesome to dude?

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Speaker 2: Dude?

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Speaker 3: When I was when I was like fifteen, I used

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Speaker 3: to I think this is just because I was watching

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Speaker 3: Louis a lot. But when I was fifteen, I was like,

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Speaker 3: I can't wait to be uh divorced you know that,

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Speaker 3: like that seemed like a cool life to me. I

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Speaker 3: don't know, not like a cool life, but like, uh

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Speaker 3: because like my dad was you know, fuck it, my

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Speaker 3: my parents got divorced and but my dad was still

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Speaker 3: like in my life, and I was like, oh, that

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Speaker 3: seems like the good setup is like you have your

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Speaker 3: kids half the time. But uh, but I don't know, Adel,

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Speaker 3: I'm you know, I'm I'm dumb. I think if I

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Speaker 3: I think, I think, I think. Me thinking about that

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Speaker 3: as a fifteen year old in theory is much different

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Speaker 3: from how I'll actually feel when I have children, you know, yeah,

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Speaker 3: because I'm sure, I'm sure when I have children, I'll

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Speaker 3: be like, I'm sure something like what we wire will

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Speaker 3: like rewire in my brain to go.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 3: I want to be with these people, uh as as

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Speaker 3: much as humanly possible, but I don't have the wisdom

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Speaker 3: to fully address any of these things yet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's it's a bit of a double edged sword.

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Speaker 1: So but okay, yeah, I'm very very glad to hear

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Speaker 1: that you're going on tour again, so at least I'll

336
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:11,840
Speaker 1: be able to see you again and in the next year.

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Speaker 1: If you're going on tour, sometime, even if I gotta

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Speaker 1: go a state or two, I'll come see you wherever

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Speaker 1: you go.

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Speaker 3: So, you know, if I have I feel like, if

341
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Speaker 3: I have kids, I can't be hopping in random high

342
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Speaker 3: strangers trucks in the middle of Michigan to go to

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Speaker 3: diners at you know, one o'clock in the morning.

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Speaker 1: See maybe I can. Like it's then, you know, there's

345
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Speaker 1: so many things you're not able to do. You know,

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Speaker 1: we would that night would have never happened.

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Speaker 3: Then, you know, well, I don't know, Like I don't, Uh,

348
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Speaker 3: I don't personally know these people, but like there's like

349
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Speaker 3: comedians like you know, Mark Normand and Joe List and

350
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Speaker 3: like you know, other other things like that. I don't

351
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Speaker 3: I don't personally know those guys, but you know, I

352
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Speaker 3: know that they have kids, and I'll hear them talk

353
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Speaker 3: about like our lives and I'm like, oh, you can

354
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Speaker 3: like have a kid, but still, you know, do do

355
00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,399
Speaker 3: that kind of shit. So but I don't know, I

356
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:08,480
Speaker 3: don't think it's something to count on.

357
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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that is true, I guess.

358
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Speaker 3: Anyway, But who are these girls that you're banging?

359
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:23,680
Speaker 1: Uh? So it's kind of like a short but long story.

360
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:27,719
Speaker 1: So it's just that kind of just raindom horrors. So

361
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Speaker 1: I was in a relationship, like well, so I was

362
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Speaker 1: in a relationship like five or six years ago, and

363
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Speaker 1: you know, high school sweet sweetheart, blah blah blah. You know,

364
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Speaker 1: I thought she was going to be the one, but she,

365
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Speaker 1: you know, ended up doing her thing and we split

366
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Speaker 1: up or whatever, and she really did a number on me,

367
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Speaker 1: but she so like, we split up, and I got

368
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Speaker 1: and I got together with other girls or whatever, and

369
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Speaker 1: then that girl would hit me up and I would

370
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:08,160
Speaker 1: shit on other girls that treated me very very good,

371
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,200
Speaker 1: just to talk to the one I was in love with,

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Speaker 1: you know, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 3: Oh, like this girl, this girl didn't like the other girls,

374
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Speaker 3: so you would talk badly about them to her.

375
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,080
Speaker 1: No, so like the girl I was like, So me

376
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Speaker 1: and the girl broke up my high school sweetheart, So

377
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,840
Speaker 1: I would start banging other girls, you know, and then

378
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Speaker 1: I would get together with somebody and be seeing somebody

379
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Speaker 1: or whatever. And then and then, you know, a couple

380
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,360
Speaker 1: months down the road, you know, my high school sweetheart,

381
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Speaker 1: she would get done you know, fucking whoever she was

382
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Speaker 1: or whatever, and then she would call me back. Eventually,

383
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Speaker 1: once she got bored or whatever, but because I was

384
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Speaker 1: in love with her, no matter what kind of girl

385
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,919
Speaker 1: I was with, you know, I was with girls that

386
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Speaker 1: treated me way better than she ever did. But because

387
00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,359
Speaker 1: I was in love with her, I would just rop

388
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:02,960
Speaker 1: whoever I was with the moment she would call me.

389
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,840
Speaker 1: It didn't matter if it was a two months or

390
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:10,200
Speaker 1: fucking three years, you know, if she called me, I'd

391
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Speaker 1: be like, hey, you know, what's up, you know, and.

392
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Speaker 2: We Uh So.

393
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,720
Speaker 1: That's why I'm fucking horrores now is because I'm still.

394
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Speaker 3: Feeling why wait, why are these wait, why are these

395
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:23,680
Speaker 3: women whares?

396
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,160
Speaker 2: Uh?

397
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,760
Speaker 1: I guess when I say whoes that' shouldn't mean whes

398
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 1: like they just there girls that I bang without being

399
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 1: in a relationship.

400
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 3: So hey, listen, I guess I got some bad news

401
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 3: for you, Austin that actually that makes you a whror

402
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:41,320
Speaker 3: as well.

403
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,240
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, And I wasn't using it in a derogatory

404
00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 1: kind of way, you know, but we're all just freely,

405
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,879
Speaker 1: you know. It's we're taking care of each other's needs

406
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,399
Speaker 1: without the commitment part, you know.

407
00:20:54,960 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I'm not I'm I'm pro I'm pro horedom.

408
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,359
Speaker 1: But so like, the only reason why I'm doing that

409
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 1: is because I don't want to get into another relationship

410
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:15,119
Speaker 1: quite yet while I still have somewhat of feelings for

411
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:19,760
Speaker 1: another person. That that's saying, you don't, don't bleed on

412
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 1: somebody that doesn't cut you, you know what I mean.

413
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 2: I don't want to.

414
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 1: I don't want to break another girl's heart just because

415
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 1: I'm being an asshole and I still have feelings for

416
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:30,560
Speaker 1: somebody else.

417
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, Yeah, it sounds like you're in like

418
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 3: a transitional period right now of like all right, let

419
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:42,479
Speaker 3: me let me, let me dial all this back and

420
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,240
Speaker 3: figure out what I actually want to do.

421
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, So, like you know, I'm just with the you know,

422
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 1: non non committed relationships because then you don't have to

423
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:56,159
Speaker 1: worry about, you know, hurting anybody or being hurt in return.

424
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 3: You know, Yeah, I know what you mean.

425
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 1: No, no commit know nothing.

426
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 3: You know.

427
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 1: It also gives me the freedom to come and go

428
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 1: with that please.

429
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:06,359
Speaker 2: You know.

430
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 1: I can call, you know, a girl on one night, Hey,

431
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,440
Speaker 1: you want to go get some dinner? You know, blah

432
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 1: blah blah. We go out on a date and if

433
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 1: something happens, sweet, if not, you know, so I had

434
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 1: a good time anyways, mm hmmmmm.

435
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a that's a that's kind of a yeah,

436
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,879
Speaker 3: it's very that's a that's a nicely low stakes place

437
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:27,119
Speaker 3: to be.

438
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 1: Yes, you know, you can't get can't get hurt in

439
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,600
Speaker 1: that zone, you know, And I've I've had a lot

440
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,880
Speaker 1: of hurt in my life, and I don't think I can.

441
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 1: I just don't want to take any more quite at

442
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 1: this point. But yeah, you know, I I I missed

443
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:48,439
Speaker 1: the I do miss being in a committed relationship. Just

444
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 1: it's been a couple of years since I've been in

445
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:56,160
Speaker 1: a committed relationship, and I'm doing pretty well in life,

446
00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 1: and I just want to be able to.

447
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:02,000
Speaker 2: Share my wealth.

448
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,199
Speaker 1: Like I don't have like a bunch of money, but

449
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,359
Speaker 1: I just I'm doing good and I want to do

450
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 1: good with somebody, if sense.

451
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 3: No, that makes a lot of sense. I mean yeah,

452
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 3: that's what like every song on the planet Earth is

453
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 3: written about, right, is like you gotta is like, yeah,

454
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 3: like this isn't a this is just like an analysis

455
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:24,159
Speaker 3: is like yeah, to really like build a thing or

456
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:29,399
Speaker 3: you know, allow yourself to whatever, you gotta enter into

457
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,199
Speaker 3: something that both allows you to that above opens you

458
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 3: up to an extreme amount of pain and then and

459
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,240
Speaker 3: then opens another person up to an extreme amount of

460
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 3: pain and then the stakes become fucking higher.

461
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:43,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

462
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 3: But that but also but you know, I mean, that's

463
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 3: that's all of life. That's all of life is like

464
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:53,919
Speaker 3: you know, your high risk, high reward you know.

465
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you think you're gonna be in a relationship

466
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 1: anytime soon? I've got anything talking to I'm.

467
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 3: Kind of I don't know, I'm enjoying. Uh, I'm just

468
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,280
Speaker 3: I'm just like kind of living my life right now.

469
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 3: I was I think I was maybe thinking about that

470
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 3: stuff more. But I'm just living my life right now.

471
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:25,160
Speaker 3: I feel pretty good about it.

472
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 1: You said you feel pretty good about it.

473
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean i'd like, I'd like to do something

474
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,880
Speaker 3: in the future, but I don't know. I'm enjoying living

475
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:37,640
Speaker 3: my life right now.

476
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm glad that, you know, it makes me feel better.

477
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

478
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 1: Here's somebody else. Kanda has the same thoughts and viewpoints.

479
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 3: We're kind of we're young guys. Man, we're young guys.

480
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,120
Speaker 3: I don't think that we're uh, you know, I think

481
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 3: we'll be okay.

482
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, we're you know, how old are you? Twenty seven?

483
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 1: Twenty seven, twenty seven, I'm twenty eight, so I thought,

484
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 1: I told myself. I was like, man, you know, if

485
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 1: I don't have something going on by thirty, I got

486
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:09,399
Speaker 1: something to worry about.

487
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 3: But you got plenty going on. You have a truck,

488
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 3: you have a job, you're doing all right?

489
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, Do you have anything planned out for your

490
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 4: new tour yet?

491
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:35,159
Speaker 3: Uh? I know I'm gonna do. My plan is to

492
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 3: do like half I think I think on my in

493
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:46,719
Speaker 3: my last tours, the show was like thirty percent my

494
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 3: own material and seventy percent dicking around with the audience.

495
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 3: And I think for the next one I want, I'm

496
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 3: I'm hoping, I'm aiming it's gonna be some. It's gonna

497
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 3: take some time to work on, but I'm hoping it'll

498
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 3: be like half my own material, half took it around

499
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 3: with the audience.

500
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, well yeah, well that's showing Greenough is

501
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 1: a super fun.

502
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 3: Thanks man, I appreciate that. Uh dude, it was. It

503
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 3: was great. It was great talking to you again. This

504
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 3: is I'm reminiscing now about that night. That was a

505
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 3: fun time.

506
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

507
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:22,439
Speaker 4: Is that?

508
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 3: Is there anything else you want to say to the

509
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 3: people of the computer before we get out of here?

510
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 4: Uh?

511
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 1: No, I just want to give one more shout out

512
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 1: to my cousin, Austin Heath, the one that was there

513
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 1: eating half dogs with us that night. Besides that, I'm

514
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 1: all good appliche it. Well, you have a good day.

515
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 3: They take care, Austin. Thank you. It is raining hard

516
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 3: out there. It is raining a lot.

517
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 2: Hi.

518
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 3: Who is this?

519
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 1: Oh?

520
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 2: This is Mike.

521
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 3: What's going on?

522
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 2: Man, dude, I'm in a very weird crossroads in life

523
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 2: right now. Tell me, I'm about to graduate with my

524
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 2: degree in finance, right about to join the whole business world,

525
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 2: the whole like numbers, data and houses all that. But then, Mike,

526
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 2: I'm a very creative person. So on the side, I'm

527
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 2: gonna keep writing. You know. I want to write short stories,

528
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,120
Speaker 2: I want to write books and all that. I've been

529
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:27,919
Speaker 2: writing for years. And it's just a very very strange

530
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 2: place to be in because I'm I just I couldn't

531
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 2: put all my eggs and one basket ghoth writing and

532
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 2: I had to, you know, do some professional to support it.

533
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 2: At the same time. Also, I'm Appalachian, So if that's

534
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 2: interesting to you, we can talk about that as well.

535
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,439
Speaker 3: What is it? What does that mean? You're Appalachian, Like

536
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 3: you're from Appalaysia.

537
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:52,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, I am from Appalachia. My family's been

538
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 2: there for generations. So I'm not super into, like, you know,

539
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,280
Speaker 2: the culture and all that. I'm just saying that's the

540
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 2: area of grew up in. And it's a it's a

541
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 2: When I'm saying I'm not super into the area, I

542
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 2: don't mean like I hated or something. I just don't

543
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:11,680
Speaker 2: mean I'm like full gun ho Appalachian.

544
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 3: Just you know what I'm saying, remind me briefly of

545
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:21,119
Speaker 3: the culture of the area.

546
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 2: So Appalachia, one of the like the biggest part of

547
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 2: the culture is just for a long time there was

548
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 2: these groups of people who would just live out in

549
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,680
Speaker 2: the woods and just like a family or just like

550
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 2: a single like a like a group of families or

551
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 2: a single family in a house, just living out isolated

552
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 2: for years, maybe decades, you know, just learning to live

553
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 2: off the land and having a very you know, self

554
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 2: made culture, that sort of thing, very different dialogue, different

555
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 2: ways speaking, that sort of thing. And it's just it's

556
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 2: just an odd place, man. And the whole culture of

557
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 2: like people being like self sufficient, it's still part of it.

558
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 2: And it's odd to see Apple Latcha also updating to

559
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 2: the modern world at the same time, because it's it's

560
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:14,960
Speaker 2: you know, we live in well, this is something interesting

561
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 2: about being from Appalacha, right, So in the modern age

562
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 2: there's like tech and YadA YadA, and everyone's like, oh,

563
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 2: from the sixties or eighties, it was all different. We

564
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,959
Speaker 2: have always been twenty years behind here. So while everyone

565
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 2: else in like every other state was going through, you know,

566
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 2: being modernized and like, you know, in the twenty tens

567
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 2: being all I don't know what exactly the word is,

568
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 2: just being like having a much more modernized culture, we'd

569
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,720
Speaker 2: all look outside that and we'd still be kind of

570
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 2: stuck in like the eighties or nineties. It always felt like,

571
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 2: you know.

572
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 3: That makes sense, Yeah, that makes sense. How old are you.

573
00:29:59,400 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 2: Twenty one?

574
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 3: I know actually twenty one and diviy do you feel

575
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 3: like you grew up in the eighties kind of?

576
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 2: I mean, my my parents are a bit of an

577
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 2: exception because they were both engineers. But it's like whenever

578
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 2: I would walk outside of my house and it's like

579
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 2: my high school had bringer tractor to school day and

580
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 2: I'd have to be and you know that's not something

581
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 2: that was just specific to the eighties, but like the

582
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 2: way people talk, the way people still drive older cars,

583
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 2: just the kind of culture. You know, it's not we

584
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 2: just did not we just we just don't modernize. We

585
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 2: just didn't modernize as quickly as everyone else. We're getting

586
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 2: to that point now because I don't think there's really

587
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 2: any way to like run from that modern modernization anymore.

588
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 2: But just yeah, it just felt like I was living

589
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:54,760
Speaker 2: in a different time period.

590
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 3: So well, let's get back to you. What's your crossroads?

591
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 3: And then maybe I wonder if in some way, shape

592
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 3: or form, your environment has led to whatever's going on

593
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 3: with your crossroads.

594
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 2: The crossroads, Yeah, it's I was I was a nice slated,

595
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 2: like younger guy when I was younger as well. It's

596
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 2: just part of what it is. It's a lot less

597
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 2: frowned upon I guess it kind of the way it

598
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,440
Speaker 2: used to be was everyone got raised by everyone else.

599
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 2: So you know, when it was more okay that just

600
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 2: when you could like sit on your computer and socialize

601
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 2: people through the computer, then a lot of that kind

602
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 2: of just happened to a lot of people, I think

603
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,480
Speaker 2: in my town. I don't know if that exactly makes sense.

604
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 2: What I'm saying is I just got a long history

605
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:53,240
Speaker 2: of just being just cooked in. Sorry, man, trying to explain.

606
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 2: So what do you mean by I explained my crossroads

607
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 2: to explain writing?

608
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,479
Speaker 3: Well, hold on, first of all, everything, First of all,

609
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 3: everything you've said so far makes perfect, So there's no

610
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 3: reason to get flustered or frustrated. Well, okay, I mean

611
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 3: a lot of things. Well one, first of all, what

612
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 3: I mean by explaining your crossroads is you can't. The

613
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 3: first thing you said on the phone pretty much was

614
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 3: that you're at a crossroads. So that's, uh, that's what

615
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 3: I mean. But okay, so you grew up feeling pretty isolated,

616
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 3: Like you feel like you grew up on a computer.

617
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. I grew up on a computer, and

618
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:36,480
Speaker 2: I just grew up in like, even outside the computer,

619
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 2: it was an isolated type of area. I grew up

620
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 2: just reading, listening to you know, YouTube and kind of

621
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 2: sort of stuff and like playing video games. And I

622
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 2: think that really it was bad for me in a

623
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 2: lot of ways. But all those years of like not brooding,

624
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 2: brooding sounds a little darker, but just like brooding with

625
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 2: all these creative outlets on line and just sitting in

626
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:03,560
Speaker 2: my room and really having a lot of time to

627
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 2: introspect like deeply, like for months at a time on

628
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 2: a certain thing I think really led me to have

629
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 2: all this like emotion and thoughts I kind of built up,

630
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 2: and eventually in my teens there was just like nowhere

631
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:20,360
Speaker 2: else to go, and it just went to writing.

632
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 3: And the crossroads. You're graduating soon from college.

633
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 2: This December, Yeah, and what are the crossroads? It's I'm

634
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 2: passing the point of like not like being able to

635
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 2: just not give a shit. I guess like before I

636
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 2: could just sit around and just do nothing and play

637
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,960
Speaker 2: video games and all that, and now I'm I can

638
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 2: either fall back into that and just you know, isolate

639
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 2: myself again and go back to my hometown and just

640
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 2: live in my parents' basement, then do nothing for a

641
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 2: while and keep telling myself some will happen, or I

642
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,560
Speaker 2: can get out of that and seriously, like have to

643
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,280
Speaker 2: work seriously to support myself with like a finance career,

644
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:11,319
Speaker 2: and then at the same time, you know, hold onto

645
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 2: my dreams of writing and like write at the same time.

646
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:19,839
Speaker 2: So it's just it's maybe crossroads isn't the right word,

647
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,320
Speaker 2: just a very large it's very.

648
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:26,280
Speaker 3: Transition, very odd transitionary period. Yeah, okay, good, I'm glad.

649
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,719
Speaker 3: I'm glad to hear you say that crossroads isn't the

650
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:31,920
Speaker 3: word because that means that you've chosen. Because when you

651
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 3: were referring to this as a crossroads, the crossroad was

652
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:42,400
Speaker 3: between uh, pursuing something with your life that will engage

653
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 3: you creatively and allow you some form of financial success

654
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:51,040
Speaker 3: and allow you to see the world and move out stuff.

655
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,400
Speaker 3: In the other road is to go back home and

656
00:34:55,520 --> 00:35:00,080
Speaker 3: play video games in your mom's basement. Not judging, but

657
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 3: that that's what you referred to as the crossroads.

658
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I mean, even in college, a lot of

659
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 2: times it would be I would still have that same

660
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:13,240
Speaker 2: sort of like air that I had, like air about myself, like, well,

661
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:15,840
Speaker 2: I can kind of goof off now, there's plenty, plenty

662
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 2: of time. And I guess cross was just like I'm

663
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 2: I'm passing that now. And just this huge transition from

664
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:26,839
Speaker 2: going to is is very different, like and it's just

665
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 2: a weird, a weird place to be into like trying

666
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,759
Speaker 2: to build like a very professional cold and you know,

667
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 2: non creative career and building a creative career at the

668
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 2: same time and doing all that while moving away from

669
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 2: you know, I I was always like a harder worker

670
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 2: than most people. But it's it's so weird, like like,

671
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,320
Speaker 2: looking back, I see myself as so lazy before, which

672
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:51,920
Speaker 2: I mean, I have to have expectations if I want

673
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 2: this stuff to work out, and I mean like work

674
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 2: all day type of expectations.

675
00:35:55,719 --> 00:36:00,680
Speaker 3: M m hm uh, well, yeah, I have multiple thought.

676
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 3: One is if I don't know, if you have a

677
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,520
Speaker 3: father to say this to you, but I'm proud of

678
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 3: you because like, yeah, uh, it's pretty easy if you

679
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 3: want to to not fucking do anything. And our and yeah,

680
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:28,879
Speaker 3: our developments, I mean, I don't know, you're uh, you're

681
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 3: a solid bit. You're a solid bit younger than me,

682
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 3: six years younger than me. But I also feel like, I,

683
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:38,400
Speaker 3: you know, I don't feel like I grew up on

684
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 3: a computer, but I had the same you know, we

685
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,719
Speaker 3: had social media, and we had Facebook, and we had

686
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 3: fucking uh zoo pop trop pop troppic That's what I'm

687
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 3: trying to think of.

688
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:48,839
Speaker 2: We had pop drop.

689
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, all right, so we're on the same we're

690
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 3: in the same boat a little bit. But uh, and yeah,

691
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 3: it would be easy for you if you wanted to

692
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:00,080
Speaker 3: just stay in Appalachia, live in your mom's base and

693
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 3: continue to not do anything. But I don't think that's

694
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 3: what you want. And I and I get that. There's

695
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 3: a hard transition.

696
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

697
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,520
Speaker 3: I remember when I was I remember, yeah, when I

698
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 3: was twenty two, I uh had this moment because I

699
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 3: had also I had also kind of been spending my

700
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 3: whole life. You know, I was being creative and I

701
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:26,359
Speaker 3: was making movies and I was doing things, and I

702
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 3: had this Uh. I mean, you know, I'm lucky. I

703
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 3: had a really I had a privileged upbringing. But I

704
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 3: remember I had this. I had this thought where I

705
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 3: was like, oh shit, I'm going to graduate college and

706
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 3: I have to make I have to find out how

707
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:47,319
Speaker 3: to make money. I can't just like stick off. Yeah,

708
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:50,239
Speaker 3: and I had that same realization where I'm like, oh,

709
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 3: I have to make money. Do I'm having I'm twenty seven,

710
00:37:53,640 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 3: I'm having that realization now, you know, like, uh, I

711
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:04,319
Speaker 3: have to make money. I have to do a thing

712
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,239
Speaker 3: to create a life and make money and I have

713
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,399
Speaker 3: to really work at that. And it's and it's real

714
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 3: and it's really real. So I I go ahead, Well, there's.

715
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,880
Speaker 2: Not much like a staying business has left in my

716
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 2: on my brain because like, you know, you're you do

717
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 2: creative work. And as soon as you said make money,

718
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 2: my first thought was to ask you, like, well, how

719
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 2: are you you know? Uh, are you target? Are you

720
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:28,880
Speaker 2: looking at the right target market? And YadA YadA, and

721
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 2: what's your ro o I? It's just stupid ship like that,

722
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,719
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? But the consulting mode.

723
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 3: But you know what, good man, good, it sounds like

724
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 3: you have good. It's good. Don't be uh like, don't

725
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 3: be ashamed of wanting to be in business and want

726
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 3: and you know, thinking about your KPIs and your ro

727
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,880
Speaker 3: O I s and whatever, right, Like, don't be ashamed

728
00:38:54,880 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 3: of it. It's it's uh like fuck man. Like money,

729
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:03,840
Speaker 3: money is real, you know.

730
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 2: It.

731
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 3: It it's real. It's the thing that you use to

732
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 3: to kind of build a life for yourself. You can

733
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 3: do it. You can live a life without money, but

734
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:20,320
Speaker 3: it's hard. Yeah, And I don't think that there's anything

735
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,320
Speaker 3: inherently evil about you being like I want to go

736
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,319
Speaker 3: into business and I want to try to make money.

737
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 3: And also like you said, you you you, I'm so

738
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 3: sorry that I forgot about this, but you said you

739
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:32,840
Speaker 3: have a creative outlet, which what was what did you

740
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 3: mentioned your creative outlet was writing?

741
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 2: Actually I do horror story writing.

742
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 3: Cool. Look, man, I want you to know you, uh,

743
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 3: don't don't be afraid of this transition, Like, don't don't

744
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:52,320
Speaker 3: be afraid, in fact, in fact, every every part of

745
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 3: the because you can build a really nice life. You

746
00:39:58,440 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 3: can build a really nice life.

747
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 2: Go ahead from from Like, when you went through this

748
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 2: transitional period, do you were like the same thing you

749
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 2: talked about. Did you ever look back and it just

750
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 2: it shocked or even just hurt you. I kind of

751
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:14,439
Speaker 2: see like the time you wait, I don't know. Maybe

752
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 2: this is something basic and I don't even need to

753
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 2: point it out because everyone's gone through it. But just

754
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:20,440
Speaker 2: how much of a shock is it for you to

755
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:22,799
Speaker 2: look back on yourself, like even just six years ago,

756
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 2: is it like, oh, I can still relate to them

757
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 2: for that guy a lot, or do you feel like

758
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:29,120
Speaker 2: you've changed?

759
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 3: Like No, I feel like I feel like I can

760
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 3: relate heavily to that guy I was thinking about. I

761
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 3: was reading journals from six years ago, and I was like,

762
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:43,879
Speaker 3: I feel like I think when I think about six

763
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,800
Speaker 3: years ago, I'm like that guy was angry and I

764
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 3: and I was reading journals that were angry journals. I

765
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,879
Speaker 3: was reading journals that were sad journals. I was reading

766
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 3: journals that were ambitious journals. I was reading journals that

767
00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:06,240
Speaker 3: were happy journals. And in the happiness and the anger,

768
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:08,680
Speaker 3: and the sadness and and the ambition, I felt all.

769
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 3: I felt them, and I can all of those feelings.

770
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 3: They're still with me, but I can deal with But

771
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 3: I'm more mature now, I have more information, i have

772
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 3: more knowledge, so as I navigate those familiar emotions, I'm

773
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:28,640
Speaker 3: it's still me like any like I have sadnesses and

774
00:41:28,719 --> 00:41:31,719
Speaker 3: angers and ambitions and joys at twenty seven that I

775
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 3: had when I was twenty one that are that come

776
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 3: from that are similar things where I could write a

777
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 3: journal now that would sound like I. If I wrote

778
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 3: a journal that I wouldn't sound like I wrote it

779
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:46,800
Speaker 3: at twenty one. But the emotions are still there. Do

780
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying?

781
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 2: No, I see what you're saying. I guess I didn't

782
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 2: kind of look at it like that, because when I

783
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 2: look back, I think like me and the teenager me

784
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:59,360
Speaker 2: are like two completely different persons. But I you know,

785
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 2: I guess. I don't know. I guess the emotions we

786
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 2: feel are always the same. I don't know. Maybe that's

787
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 2: a maybe that's kind of what you're saying.

788
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 3: Well, well, well, what's helpful for you right now?

789
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 2: It's creative, like doing creative stuff like right now, I'm

790
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 2: also trying to move away from you know, getting stuck

791
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:24,560
Speaker 2: down like dopamine spirals. I guess is the word of

792
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 2: just like scrolling Instagram or whatever, and doing more fulfilling,

793
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:33,719
Speaker 2: creative work like the probably the enjoyment I get from

794
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 2: five hours of or like the comfort or you know,

795
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:40,440
Speaker 2: what helps me after one day, what I would get

796
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 2: from five hours of like scrolling, I could probably get

797
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:45,399
Speaker 2: from like ten to thirty minutes of like really good

798
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 2: writing and seeing yeah yeah, seeing myself actually do something

799
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,840
Speaker 2: meaningful and creative and that that helps a lot. Or

800
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 2: like playing guitar, not even playing it well, just like

801
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:58,240
Speaker 2: snacking the strings and just kind of feeling that flow.

802
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:03,920
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah I can, I can. I this is

803
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 3: new advice that I'm playing around with to myself. But

804
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,439
Speaker 3: just try to love. Just you gotta love your life,

805
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:17,759
Speaker 3: you know, like uh, like yeah, you're gonna go get it.

806
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 3: You're gonna do something in finance that'll take a lot

807
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 3: of hours. I don't know if it's I don't know

808
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 3: what the job market is like where you're at. I'm

809
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 3: not gonna pretend like I do. But if you can

810
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 3: find a little thing that makes you, if you can

811
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:31,360
Speaker 3: find something, if you can find something that makes you

812
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:37,120
Speaker 3: enough money and leaves you enough time to write and

813
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 3: see your family and your friends, then just start and

814
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:48,200
Speaker 3: just like maintain. I think I'm figuring it out a

815
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:49,920
Speaker 3: little bit. I'm not saying I've fully figured it out,

816
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 3: but I'm like, I'm like getting a little For a

817
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 3: long time, I've been thinking about, like, Okay, how do

818
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:58,959
Speaker 3: I remain ambitious and remain wanting more for my life

819
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:02,440
Speaker 3: but also so be happy at the same time. And

820
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 3: I'm getting a little hints of maybe figuring it out.

821
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 3: And uh, I think the the key And it's harder

822
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:11,800
Speaker 3: when you're younger, it's easier when you're older. But the

823
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 3: key is like, just start love on your life right

824
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 3: fucking now. Like, don't like, don't wait for a thing

825
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,279
Speaker 3: to happen, don't wait for an amount of money, don't

826
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 3: wait for uh, some kind of external circumstance. Just start

827
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:27,320
Speaker 3: love it. Just like every night when you go like

828
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 3: anything good, Like if you're eating a fucking sandwich, or

829
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:35,920
Speaker 3: you're applying to a thing, or you get a you

830
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:38,640
Speaker 3: get a you're from your finance job, you get a

831
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:40,399
Speaker 3: you look at your bank account and you get your

832
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 3: direct deposit, or you you're sitting in your house, whether

833
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 3: you're water or your coffee or whatever, and you're writing.

834
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 3: Just does any time you get anything, just go. I

835
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 3: have a good life. Is any time you get anything,

836
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 3: just go. I have a good life. I still want more.

837
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 3: I want to make more money. I want to write more.

838
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 3: I want to explore more. I want to develop relations.

839
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 3: I want more sandwiches. I want to do all this stuff.

840
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 3: But and I'm gonna do it. But I just like,

841
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:16,840
Speaker 3: don't fucking wait to like love your life. So so

842
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:21,960
Speaker 3: the trends. So that's how I would phrase your transition.

843
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:25,719
Speaker 2: I appreciate it that. That's a good way to look

844
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:28,759
Speaker 2: at Yeah, I think I'll use that. I appreciate that

845
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 2: good good.

846
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's real out here.

847
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 2: I get you. Yeah, that reminds me. I'm just gonna

848
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:39,160
Speaker 2: say this real fast, because go ahead, just right on.

849
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:41,600
Speaker 2: That that reminds me of like advice I heard like,

850
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:44,480
Speaker 2: if you if you loved yourself, you treat yourself like

851
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:45,880
Speaker 2: someone you love. You know what I mean?

852
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:48,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I've been trying to dive more into that.

853
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 2: You know. That's good man, It's it's tough, but you

854
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:55,840
Speaker 2: should love your life. And man, I'm glad it sounds

855
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 2: like you're starting to love your life. Man. You should.

856
00:45:58,120 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 2: You're like a get go and you get to talk

857
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 2: to people all the I go in waves.

858
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:05,040
Speaker 3: Man, I'm gonna, I'm in. I'm for the last couple

859
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 3: of weeks. I've been in a good wave and we'll

860
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 3: see how long it lasts.

861
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 2: But I I.

862
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:11,319
Speaker 3: I don't want to go back. I just don't want

863
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 3: to go back. Fucking don't want to go back.

864
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,399
Speaker 2: Well, what if you don't mind me asking what sends

865
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:22,279
Speaker 2: you back? Or is that? Or do would you prefer

866
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 2: the call to be more centered towards me?

867
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:26,359
Speaker 3: No? No, no, no, that's a that's a good question.

868
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:35,320
Speaker 3: What sends me back? Well, Uh, loneliness sends me back,

869
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:42,759
Speaker 3: A yearned yearning sends me back. Letting my brain go

870
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,760
Speaker 3: too far away from reality sends me back. Binge eating

871
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:51,840
Speaker 3: sends me back, Like fucking.

872
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:54,640
Speaker 2: I get ben jating that's I feel like a really

873
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:58,279
Speaker 2: I mean not to get super personal that, so I've

874
00:46:58,280 --> 00:47:00,799
Speaker 2: actually that was for a very long time as well.

875
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:03,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, I'm.

876
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:05,319
Speaker 2: Trying to think of it. I could give you there.

877
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 2: I mean again, I'm younger, so you've probably got way

878
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:10,600
Speaker 2: better experience like working with it than I do. But

879
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:15,920
Speaker 2: trying to think, like what works for me? Have you

880
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 2: ever you ever tried fasting?

881
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:21,879
Speaker 3: Yeah? Cool, Yeah, definitely it's hard.

882
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just gonna say that's something I've noticed lately

883
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:28,560
Speaker 2: that has geared me more towards not wanting to eat

884
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 2: as much. Like, no, I notice when I don't eat it,

885
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:33,879
Speaker 2: when this is just like a quick thing, I'll say,

886
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:35,839
Speaker 2: when I faster a little bit, my brain works better.

887
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:40,719
Speaker 2: And I've started to prefer that state towards bingeingine. I

888
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:43,840
Speaker 2: think maybe maybe you could ride out or something like

889
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 2: what feelings you don't enjoy or enjoy about in the

890
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 2: state of beingining, and the feelings you enjoy and don't

891
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:56,080
Speaker 2: enjoy about like eating well, and maybe frame them somewhere

892
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 2: so you can see them every day so you can remember, like,

893
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 2: I don't prefer that state. I prefer in this state.

894
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 2: And this is why but maybe you know what's.

895
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes perfect sense. You know What's so funny though,

896
00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:09,800
Speaker 3: is uh? And So I'm not saying this to dismiss

897
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:14,359
Speaker 3: your advice. The the the if I were to print out,

898
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 3: like if I were to do what you are saying,

899
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 3: and I were to print out and I were to

900
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 3: like look like I had it on my phone, I

901
00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 3: was like this and I journaled. I was like, remember,

902
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:27,280
Speaker 3: this is how you feel when you're not binge eating.

903
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:32,240
Speaker 3: I could look at that, and if I'm binge eating,

904
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 3: I could look at that and I could go, it

905
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 3: doesn't and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how many

906
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:38,719
Speaker 3: times I've been back there. I could look at that

907
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:40,480
Speaker 3: and go, nah, it's fucking bullshit.

908
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:41,279
Speaker 2: You know.

909
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? I have to I have

910
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:49,839
Speaker 3: to I have to be currently feeling it, even if

911
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:53,279
Speaker 3: I felt it hundreds of times in the past, I

912
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 3: have to be currently feeling it right now in order

913
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:57,800
Speaker 3: to be able to believe you. Do you know what

914
00:48:57,840 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 3: I'm do You know what I'm saying?

915
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:02,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, it's I see exactly what you're saying. I

916
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 2: don't know, man, Maybe maybe embrace Benjing with something super

917
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 2: heavy healthy like you have, like like you have like eggs,

918
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 2: like boi legs. Those are pretty heavy. Maybe you just

919
00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:16,080
Speaker 2: have a jar of Boi legs instead of liking something else.

920
00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:20,280
Speaker 3: Listen, listen, I'm feeling okay right now. At some point

921
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:24,439
Speaker 3: we're I don't know when, and I honestly even think

922
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,840
Speaker 3: that accepting that this is gonna happen is part of

923
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 3: the thing. But at some point, a fuck, I'm gonna

924
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 3: you know, there's gonna be another At some point I'm

925
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 3: gonna freak out again, and something bad is gonna happen,

926
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna eat at Pinea Bengerry's and whatever. But

927
00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:45,239
Speaker 3: it will be okay, we'll go. It will cycle. I'm

928
00:49:45,239 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 3: thinking about. I always think about what that lady said

929
00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:50,439
Speaker 3: on the podcast the other Weaker Day or whatever, where

930
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:52,359
Speaker 3: it's like life is like a spiral and you start

931
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 3: in the middle and you go outward. I'm like, I know,

932
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:57,360
Speaker 3: I'm I know we're I know these cycles. I know

933
00:49:57,520 --> 00:50:02,680
Speaker 3: that they're not I know we're coming back. But I've

934
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:05,600
Speaker 3: been down and come back for like eight million times

935
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:08,839
Speaker 3: that I just know it's possible. And each time I don't,

936
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:14,360
Speaker 3: you know, jump off a fucking roof, uh, you know,

937
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 3: each time I don't jump off a fucking roof. We

938
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:20,919
Speaker 3: get better at uh, we just get better at life.

939
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 3: We just keep getting better at life every time. Every

940
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 3: this is I could keep trying to put in new

941
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 3: Jerry's flavors. Folks at folks. Every time you don't kill yourself.

942
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:33,879
Speaker 3: You get a little bit better at life every time,

943
00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:35,520
Speaker 3: every time you don't kill yourself.

944
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 2: But that's a good way to look at it. That's

945
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:40,879
Speaker 2: a win you have every every hour.

946
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:43,279
Speaker 3: What's your name again?

947
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 4: Man?

948
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:44,799
Speaker 3: Did I give you a name or did you tell

949
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:48,520
Speaker 3: me your name? You can call me Mike man, Mike, Mike,

950
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 3: is nice talking to you. I think you're gonna be okay.

951
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 3: I'm you're you got it. You're a smart guy.

952
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 2: Thank you man. Thank you. Can I call you? Get go?

953
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:57,280
Speaker 3: You can call me Gecko.

954
00:50:58,440 --> 00:50:59,040
Speaker 2: Thank you, Get go.

955
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:01,520
Speaker 3: Is there anything else you want to say to the

956
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:02,759
Speaker 3: people of the computer before we go?

957
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 2: Always give someone the benefit of the doubt, no matter

958
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 2: who you meet, Always assume they know something you don't know,

959
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:12,640
Speaker 2: and you can find out by talking to them. I

960
00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:13,000
Speaker 2: like it.

961
00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:15,840
Speaker 3: Thank you very much, Thank you, Mike. I appreciate you.

962
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 2: Call your show in Nashville with Shaggy Too Dope, and

963
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:19,839
Speaker 2: it was really great.

964
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 3: Oh helly, will you would you come back if I

965
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 3: went there in uh twenty twenty six?

966
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:28,399
Speaker 2: Absolute lately, I would all right absolutely come back.

967
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:31,120
Speaker 3: Okay, cool, Yeah, because I'm planning. I'm planning my twenty

968
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 3: twenty six tour, so hopefully people come.

969
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 2: That'd be cool, dude, I do please, let's see. I mean,

970
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 2: if you're feeling it, man, if you're feeling.

971
00:51:40,239 --> 00:51:42,560
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm I'm. I wasn't

972
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 3: feeling it for like a year, but now I'm feeling

973
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 3: it again. I'm so I'm excited. Okay, yeah, And if

974
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:49,520
Speaker 3: I meet you, you could be like, I'm the guy

975
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 3: we talked about Appalachia and how I'm going through a crossroads.

976
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:55,720
Speaker 2: I'll bring you a Gecko horror story.

977
00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 3: Oh that sounds great. That sounds great. Okay, beautif Well,

978
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:03,000
Speaker 3: I'm gonna I'm back to Nashville. We'll meet in person. Nice,

979
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 3: all right, beautiful, Good take care of Mike.

980
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 2: Thanks, take care, go go.

981
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 3: This is Mike. He's a nice guy. Hey, guys, I'm

982
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:19,719
Speaker 3: gonna end this episode by doing some viewer mail. I've

983
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:26,200
Speaker 3: been enjoying the hybrid male phone call approach, so uh,

984
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:30,120
Speaker 3: let's do that. Let's read some viewer mail and again,

985
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:32,040
Speaker 3: if you want to send in any viewer mail, you

986
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:36,480
Speaker 3: can send it to therapy geckomail at gmail dot com.

987
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:40,960
Speaker 3: And without further ado, let's read some viewer mail to

988
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:47,040
Speaker 3: end the Gecko session today. Okay, this is from Kline.

989
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:53,879
Speaker 3: Subject line I don't like being the quiet guy. Hey, Lyle,

990
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:56,920
Speaker 3: my name is Klein. For some reason, I often get

991
00:52:57,000 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 3: referred to as being a quiet person. I don't have

992
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 3: an issue with talking to people, but I don't initially

993
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 3: start conversations, and I get confused as to why people

994
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,839
Speaker 3: find this to be an issue. I talk a lot

995
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:12,640
Speaker 3: around my friends, but I don't have the urge to

996
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:15,920
Speaker 3: strike up a conversation with strangers or people I don't know.

997
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 3: I don't see awkward silences as awkward. I find silence peaceful,

998
00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 3: and yet I feel like it's expected in American culture

999
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:26,520
Speaker 3: to just talk to people. But I don't see much

1000
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 3: of a point in making small talk. I like to

1001
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:32,240
Speaker 3: chime into conversations if I have something funny or interesting

1002
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:34,480
Speaker 3: to say, but not if I don't see a reason

1003
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:37,560
Speaker 3: to spout nonsense. I recognize that I'm more of an

1004
00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:40,719
Speaker 3: introverted person, but I don't like being labeled as the

1005
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 3: quiet guy. The label is almost always worded in a

1006
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:48,239
Speaker 3: negative connotation, like it feels like people look at me

1007
00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:51,360
Speaker 3: and expect that I contribute more whenever I feel content

1008
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:56,120
Speaker 3: and comfortable with how I act currently. Do I just

1009
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:59,400
Speaker 3: accept this label and learn not to take it so personally,

1010
00:53:59,760 --> 00:54:02,759
Speaker 3: or do I try to change and work on talking more.

1011
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:06,480
Speaker 3: I've gotten better at making small talk by asking questions,

1012
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:08,440
Speaker 3: but I could probably work on it more if I

1013
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:13,880
Speaker 3: wanted to. Thanks Kliin. You know, client, It's funny because

1014
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:17,840
Speaker 3: there are certain situations I'll just talk about myself for

1015
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:22,520
Speaker 3: a second. There's certain situations which I feel very introverted

1016
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 3: and like I don't really want to talk to people,

1017
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 3: not even because I'm like, uh, shy or nervous, but yeah,

1018
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:33,319
Speaker 3: I'm with you about where I'm like, and I don't

1019
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 3: really feel the need to talk to these people or

1020
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:39,239
Speaker 3: be a part of this conversation. Like, you know, if

1021
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:41,400
Speaker 3: I want to talk to someone, i'll talk to them.

1022
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:44,040
Speaker 3: If I don't really care that much, I won't And

1023
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:47,399
Speaker 3: it can feel weird sometimes, but I'm gonna I'm gonna

1024
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:49,680
Speaker 3: run a quote by you. It's a good quote. It's

1025
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 3: by some dead guy. Let's see what Let's see what

1026
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:54,719
Speaker 3: a dead guy this quote is by. I'll say the

1027
00:54:54,800 --> 00:55:02,120
Speaker 3: quote first. It is better to stay silent and be

1028
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:06,040
Speaker 3: thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove

1029
00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 3: all doubt. Who said that? Some fucking guy who's fucking dead.

1030
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 3: It is better to stay silent and be thought of

1031
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 3: Who said that?

1032
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 2: That was a.

1033
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:23,960
Speaker 3: It was a throw Uh it was as this guy,

1034
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:32,280
Speaker 3: Arthur burn I think it was Arthur Burns. Wait, Abraham Lincoln. Okay,

1035
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,920
Speaker 3: it's a a bunch of different dead guys came together

1036
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:38,520
Speaker 3: to say that. But it doesn't matter because it doesn't

1037
00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:43,520
Speaker 3: matter anyway. Uh, It's true. I do believe that in

1038
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:45,440
Speaker 3: a sense. I do believe that, like, there is power

1039
00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:49,480
Speaker 3: to silence. And I've dude, I've noticed that if you're

1040
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:52,920
Speaker 3: in a group of people and you're staying silent, if

1041
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:56,879
Speaker 3: you choose, if you very strategically choose when to talk,

1042
00:55:57,160 --> 00:56:01,000
Speaker 3: people will actually listen to you. Whereas if you just

1043
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:03,680
Speaker 3: keep fucking blabbering on and you're not even being intentional,

1044
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 3: nobody will. You know, it's like you get talked over.

1045
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:12,600
Speaker 3: But I think, yeah, I do think that you could

1046
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 3: learn to accept the label and not take it personally.

1047
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:19,200
Speaker 3: You're asking if you should try to change and work

1048
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:23,839
Speaker 3: on talking more. You could, I mean, is that something

1049
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:27,239
Speaker 3: you really want to do? I think I think you

1050
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:34,880
Speaker 3: seem like you do like people. You don't seem like

1051
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:42,360
Speaker 3: you are like a misangrist or anything like that. You

1052
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:47,040
Speaker 3: don't seem like you hate being around people or you're

1053
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:52,200
Speaker 3: violently shy or anything like that, but just that you

1054
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:55,120
Speaker 3: kind of are like, I don't need to be in

1055
00:56:55,719 --> 00:57:00,239
Speaker 3: this conversation right now, but I don't. I think I

1056
00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:04,360
Speaker 3: think they, even introverted people, they want to connect with others.

1057
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:09,760
Speaker 3: And I get the sense that you want to connect

1058
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 3: with others. You wrote here, you said, it feels like

1059
00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:19,200
Speaker 3: people look at me and expect that I contribute more

1060
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:22,800
Speaker 3: whenever I feel content and comfortable with how I act currently.

1061
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:26,040
Speaker 3: Do you feel content and comfortable with how you are currently?

1062
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:32,920
Speaker 3: Because that's the most important thing. Like, there's two types

1063
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 3: of versions of you that you could be. You could

1064
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:39,560
Speaker 3: be a guy who really wants to connect with people

1065
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:42,360
Speaker 3: and really wants to be a part of these conversations,

1066
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:45,640
Speaker 3: but it's just feeling a little shy and whatever. And

1067
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:48,440
Speaker 3: in that case it might be better to. It might

1068
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:50,680
Speaker 3: be good to kind of learn and force yourself to

1069
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:52,880
Speaker 3: talk to other people. Or you could be a guy

1070
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:58,440
Speaker 3: that's like, I'm just completely quietly confident in who I am,

1071
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:01,520
Speaker 3: and I don't need to chime in on a useless

1072
00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:06,920
Speaker 3: conversation to prove that to anybody. So I would think

1073
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:09,360
Speaker 3: about whichever one of those people that you really feel

1074
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 3: like you are inside and act accordingly. This is from Jake.

1075
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:22,320
Speaker 3: Subject line Ketamine saved me. Hey, GEK love YOUA. My

1076
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:27,640
Speaker 3: name is Crash. It's you know, people the name in

1077
00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:31,280
Speaker 3: the email. Maybe it should just make all the emails

1078
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 3: anonymous or whatever. Who cares, Jake Crash doesn't matter. Hi,

1079
00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:38,760
Speaker 3: GEK love YOUA. My name is Crash. Been a fan

1080
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:41,240
Speaker 3: for a long time. I know the email is odd,

1081
00:58:41,480 --> 00:58:47,080
Speaker 3: but it stands for proof that utch are revolving. Oh

1082
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:49,000
Speaker 3: he's talking about his email address. I'm not gonna read

1083
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:55,240
Speaker 3: your email address, okay. But anyways, Ketamine, I always thought

1084
00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:59,360
Speaker 3: it was just a dissociative, which it is, but I

1085
00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 3: thought it meant, oh, you can't talk to your hands

1086
00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:06,080
Speaker 3: or whatever. But no, it turns everything wonky. It is

1087
00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:09,040
Speaker 3: the drug that when drugs are portrayed, it is the

1088
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:14,600
Speaker 3: drug that when drugs are portrayed on movies. Okay, Uh,

1089
00:59:14,720 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 3: the way this email is written is a little difficult,

1090
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:20,640
Speaker 3: so I'm gonna I'm gonna, I'm gonna read this.

1091
00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 2: Uh what is it?

1092
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:22,800
Speaker 3: Ad hoc?

1093
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:24,600
Speaker 2: Is that right?

1094
00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 3: What does ad hoc mean? Ad howk? Okay? Yeah, yeah,

1095
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:35,200
Speaker 3: that sort of makes sense. Okay, Yeah, I think I'm

1096
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 3: gonna read this ad hoc. I'm gonna just correct his

1097
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:42,600
Speaker 3: errors in my Okay. It is the drug that is

1098
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:46,680
Speaker 3: similar to how drugs are portrayed on movies. It's a

1099
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:50,360
Speaker 3: fever trip. It's a it's a fever dream. It's a trip,

1100
00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 3: but it has no bad side, no other side. It's

1101
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:57,080
Speaker 3: heavy and light. It doesn't make sense, but it makes

1102
00:59:57,160 --> 01:00:00,640
Speaker 3: all the sense. It's perspective. It can make you massive

1103
01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:04,160
Speaker 3: and tiny at the same time. I have heard of

1104
01:00:04,280 --> 01:00:07,000
Speaker 3: K therapy and boy it's real. You won't have the

1105
01:00:07,080 --> 01:00:09,360
Speaker 3: ego death, but you will understand that we are the

1106
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:13,360
Speaker 3: directors of life. Like a movie, it pulls back the

1107
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:16,040
Speaker 3: curtain so that your perspective changes. I don't think you

1108
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:18,440
Speaker 3: are depressed. I think you see it from the wrong angle.

1109
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:21,840
Speaker 3: Some good K will change how you see things. The

1110
01:00:21,960 --> 01:00:24,880
Speaker 3: trip reminds me of traveling the surface tension bubble of

1111
01:00:24,960 --> 01:00:29,200
Speaker 3: a water. The trip reminds me of traveling the surface

1112
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:33,280
Speaker 3: tension bubble of water on a quarter. It's the whole thing,

1113
01:00:33,400 --> 01:00:37,200
Speaker 3: plus some without breaking anyways, Love you Ghek. Your docs

1114
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:39,360
Speaker 3: are amazing. You've been helpful to so many. Stay Green,

1115
01:00:39,400 --> 01:00:44,960
Speaker 3: Stay Lyah, love Crash, Thank you Crash. Did you write

1116
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:49,680
Speaker 3: this while you were on the ketamine? Were you doing ketemy?

1117
01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:52,040
Speaker 3: Were you doing like actual ketemine therapy or were you

1118
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:55,800
Speaker 3: just like recreationally doing ketmye Because I've been trying, I've

1119
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:59,880
Speaker 3: been really considering I was gonna do that today, uh,

1120
01:01:00,560 --> 01:01:03,160
Speaker 3: making an appointment for ketamine therapy. I've been really thinking

1121
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:05,840
Speaker 3: about it because you know, as everyone who listens to

1122
01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:07,800
Speaker 3: this podcast knows, I want you to fuck up about

1123
01:01:07,800 --> 01:01:15,240
Speaker 3: existential stuff. And my understanding is that ketamine is helpful

1124
01:01:15,320 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 3: for depression and that it's helpful for those things. So

1125
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:25,200
Speaker 3: I kind of want to give it a try. Yeah,

1126
01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 3: I don't know. Oh well, if this guy Crash says

1127
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:31,600
Speaker 3: it's good, then I should do it.

1128
01:01:31,720 --> 01:01:31,959
Speaker 2: Maybe.

1129
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:39,480
Speaker 3: Okay. This is from Oh here we go, all right?

1130
01:01:39,760 --> 01:01:44,400
Speaker 3: This is from Alison. Subject line polyamory made me an

1131
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:50,280
Speaker 3: alcoholic Hello, gek Man. You can call me Alison. I've

1132
01:01:50,360 --> 01:01:53,000
Speaker 3: been a long time enjoyer of your podcast, and since

1133
01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:55,680
Speaker 3: you have been reading more mail, I thought I would

1134
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:59,560
Speaker 3: throw my hat into the ring of stories. So to

1135
01:01:59,600 --> 01:02:01,960
Speaker 3: make a long story short, I am a third year

1136
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:06,200
Speaker 3: engineer major and my dating experience this year has been insane.

1137
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:10,240
Speaker 3: I have been dating my current boyfriend for three months now.

1138
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:13,520
Speaker 3: A month ago, he wanted to try having a threesome.

1139
01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 3: For context, everyone involved in the school is involved in

1140
01:02:17,360 --> 01:02:19,720
Speaker 3: a club at my college that is known for being

1141
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:25,440
Speaker 3: queer and having a ton of polyamory within. I am demisexual.

1142
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:29,040
Speaker 3: I did not want to casually hook up with another person.

1143
01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:31,080
Speaker 3: For those who don't know what that means, demi sexual

1144
01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:36,520
Speaker 3: is like, uh, someone who only wants to have a

1145
01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:39,160
Speaker 3: like a physical connection with somebody that they have a

1146
01:02:39,280 --> 01:02:46,640
Speaker 3: strong mental connection with. I used to not know what

1147
01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:48,640
Speaker 3: that means, and I thought it was like a like

1148
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:52,680
Speaker 3: I thought there was a new sex thing that was

1149
01:02:52,720 --> 01:02:53,760
Speaker 3: like a demi sex.

1150
01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:55,200
Speaker 2: Okay.

1151
01:02:55,560 --> 01:02:58,040
Speaker 3: That led us to figure out I needed to get

1152
01:02:58,080 --> 01:03:02,160
Speaker 3: a second boyfriend, and we quickly found a mutual friend

1153
01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:05,920
Speaker 3: that I fell head over heels for. Before starting the

1154
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:10,480
Speaker 3: second relationship, the second boy mentioned talking to another friend,

1155
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:14,800
Speaker 3: but that those plans weren't concrete at all. Flash forward

1156
01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:18,600
Speaker 3: a week, Boy two is love bombing me hardcore, and

1157
01:03:18,720 --> 01:03:21,440
Speaker 3: I was eating it all up. Me and the two

1158
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:24,680
Speaker 3: boys hang out to watch movies, and you can guess

1159
01:03:24,720 --> 01:03:28,600
Speaker 3: what happened. Okay, all right, all right? The next day

1160
01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:32,360
Speaker 3: after and making it The next day after, Boy two

1161
01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:35,560
Speaker 3: makes it official with me, but he also makes it

1162
01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:38,720
Speaker 3: official with another girl. It kind of stung, but I

1163
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:41,760
Speaker 3: chalked it up to jealousy. He then proceeds to stop

1164
01:03:41,840 --> 01:03:45,600
Speaker 3: messaging me as much and only posting the other girl,

1165
01:03:45,880 --> 01:03:49,360
Speaker 3: which ate away at my mental state. It is, isn't

1166
01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:51,760
Speaker 3: it so fucking This has been talked about to death?

1167
01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:54,880
Speaker 3: But like, isn't it so fucking weird? How much like whatever,

1168
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:58,200
Speaker 3: Facebook and Instagram and all that stuff has like influenced

1169
01:03:58,240 --> 01:04:05,960
Speaker 3: all of our relationships and whatnot. I was constantly overthinking

1170
01:04:06,040 --> 01:04:11,479
Speaker 3: the situation, having anxiety attacks at work and coming home

1171
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:15,320
Speaker 3: from my internship and drinking. It got to the point

1172
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:18,320
Speaker 3: where I was constantly crying since I felt I was

1173
01:04:18,480 --> 01:04:21,840
Speaker 3: last place in a situation that should not have been

1174
01:04:22,160 --> 01:04:26,080
Speaker 3: a race. With encouragement from my roommates and the first

1175
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:29,720
Speaker 3: boy I called boy too and broke shit off. It

1176
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:32,640
Speaker 3: all sucked with everything else going on wrong in my life,

1177
01:04:32,680 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 3: and I still drink way too much, but at least

1178
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:39,760
Speaker 3: I escaped that bad situation. Nothing against people who enjoy polyamory,

1179
01:04:40,200 --> 01:04:40,640
Speaker 3: it's just.

1180
01:04:40,760 --> 01:04:41,200
Speaker 2: Not for me.

1181
01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:46,600
Speaker 3: Wait a minute, so, okay, this is a little The

1182
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:48,120
Speaker 3: only reason this is a little funny to me is that,

1183
01:04:48,240 --> 01:04:54,400
Speaker 3: like this whole time, like what's up with the first guy? Okay,

1184
01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:59,160
Speaker 3: because so you start dating. Okay, so you're dating, you're

1185
01:04:59,160 --> 01:05:04,120
Speaker 3: your boyfriend, right, and then this other guy comes into place,

1186
01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:09,360
Speaker 3: and then he gets a second boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever,

1187
01:05:10,280 --> 01:05:13,680
Speaker 3: and okay, so yeah, the second guy gets a girlfriend,

1188
01:05:14,440 --> 01:05:20,600
Speaker 3: and then you're like upset that he has another girlfriend.

1189
01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:25,600
Speaker 3: And then you're like and then you're like, I feel

1190
01:05:25,600 --> 01:05:28,680
Speaker 3: like I'm in last place in this situation. No, boy,

1191
01:05:28,760 --> 01:05:33,080
Speaker 3: the first boyfriend is definitely in last place. In this situation.

1192
01:05:33,960 --> 01:05:39,040
Speaker 3: You're not in last place. The first boyfriend, who is

1193
01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:45,000
Speaker 3: like coaching you through the breakup, that is, you know,

1194
01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:48,240
Speaker 3: eating away at you with the second boyfriend, he is

1195
01:05:48,320 --> 01:05:54,440
Speaker 3: in last place. You're in You're in third place in

1196
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:57,360
Speaker 3: this situation. You're not in last The boy number one,

1197
01:05:57,520 --> 01:05:59,400
Speaker 3: I want to read his email, what's going on with

1198
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:06,120
Speaker 3: this guy? Because here's the thing, I don't you don't

1199
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:12,760
Speaker 3: seem like you're like into polyamory. I think if you

1200
01:06:12,840 --> 01:06:14,760
Speaker 3: were into poly I think if you were truly okay

1201
01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:19,280
Speaker 3: with polyamory, you wouldn't be having anxiety attacks and overthinking

1202
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:22,040
Speaker 3: the situation and you know, having to drink to deal

1203
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:25,040
Speaker 3: with the jealousy. I think you just like, I think

1204
01:06:25,080 --> 01:06:28,520
Speaker 3: you just didn't like your current boyfriend and you liked

1205
01:06:28,600 --> 01:06:30,800
Speaker 3: this other guy, and you thought you could handle this

1206
01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:33,920
Speaker 3: whole thing, but you couldn't. But no, you were not

1207
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,880
Speaker 3: in last place. Boy number one is in last place.

1208
01:06:37,160 --> 01:06:38,320
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know, I don't know who boy

1209
01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:39,720
Speaker 3: number one is. Maybe he just wants to be friends

1210
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:44,160
Speaker 3: with you, and you know, that's it, and you know,

1211
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:47,160
Speaker 3: hopefully he's living his life and hopefully he's happy doing

1212
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:54,200
Speaker 3: his thing. But yeah, sounds sounds like polyamory is not

1213
01:06:54,280 --> 01:06:57,800
Speaker 3: for you, which is totally fine. I'm sure that you

1214
01:06:57,840 --> 01:07:04,560
Speaker 3: will eventually find a a boyfriend that, uh is you

1215
01:07:04,840 --> 01:07:06,800
Speaker 3: like that you could just be the have the one.

1216
01:07:07,920 --> 01:07:13,080
Speaker 3: Nothing wrong with just having the one, all right, m

1217
01:07:15,400 --> 01:07:18,320
Speaker 3: I think that's it. Yeah, I think that's it. I

1218
01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:20,200
Speaker 3: think that's enough. Email a right, maybe we'll get do

1219
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:22,560
Speaker 3: one more the well, let's see if I can find

1220
01:07:22,560 --> 01:07:26,400
Speaker 3: a quick one. This is from Caden, subject line I

1221
01:07:26,480 --> 01:07:29,640
Speaker 3: got rid of my speech impediment with a septum piercing.

1222
01:07:30,640 --> 01:07:30,760
Speaker 2: Yo.

1223
01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:34,080
Speaker 3: My name is Caden. I'm twenty three years old and

1224
01:07:34,200 --> 01:07:37,000
Speaker 3: two months ago I got my septim pierced. I've had

1225
01:07:37,040 --> 01:07:40,320
Speaker 3: a stutter since five years old and have always had

1226
01:07:40,440 --> 01:07:43,360
Speaker 3: a lot to say, accompanied with a lot of tongue

1227
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:47,240
Speaker 3: biting and silence. Not giving my septum credit for helping

1228
01:07:47,280 --> 01:07:49,640
Speaker 3: me move past that phase of life, but rather the

1229
01:07:49,720 --> 01:07:53,120
Speaker 3: mindset I had when getting it. Who cares if they

1230
01:07:53,200 --> 01:07:57,080
Speaker 3: see me like this? For the longest time, I was

1231
01:07:57,160 --> 01:07:59,960
Speaker 3: extremely cautious with what I said and how I say,

1232
01:08:00,400 --> 01:08:03,800
Speaker 3: which led me to orchestrate my thoughts, reactions, and responses.

1233
01:08:04,320 --> 01:08:08,280
Speaker 3: Your show has helped tremendously. Not giving you full credit either, lol,

1234
01:08:10,440 --> 01:08:12,040
Speaker 3: that's okay, you don't have to give me any credit.

1235
01:08:12,560 --> 01:08:15,800
Speaker 3: But listening to how imperfect and human each conversation is

1236
01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:18,400
Speaker 3: and your stance on entering and exiting the world has

1237
01:08:18,479 --> 01:08:22,479
Speaker 3: woken me up. Blackness a snap, then back to blackness.

1238
01:08:22,880 --> 01:08:26,160
Speaker 3: Oh god, Oh I wish I could forget about all

1239
01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:31,200
Speaker 3: that shit, that's all right. It's truly a beautiful thing.

1240
01:08:31,360 --> 01:08:34,440
Speaker 3: I've been giving more compliments. I've been talking with everyone comfortably.

1241
01:08:34,800 --> 01:08:37,080
Speaker 3: I'm not intimidated by people of a higher standing or

1242
01:08:37,120 --> 01:08:42,040
Speaker 3: status anymore. I can order my own fucking food. They

1243
01:08:42,080 --> 01:08:45,000
Speaker 3: wrote that in old caps. My foundation in life is

1244
01:08:45,040 --> 01:08:47,639
Speaker 3: slowly being built by snippets of how you live life.

1245
01:08:47,720 --> 01:08:49,679
Speaker 3: And I've never been so at peace.

1246
01:08:50,280 --> 01:08:50,560
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1247
01:08:52,600 --> 01:08:54,960
Speaker 3: That was Caden. I think what's going on with Caden

1248
01:08:55,040 --> 01:08:58,560
Speaker 3: is that they're they're realizing that nothing matters in a

1249
01:08:58,600 --> 01:09:05,120
Speaker 3: good way. I like an optimist sick nihilism. I do

1250
01:09:05,280 --> 01:09:09,160
Speaker 3: kind of wish sometimes I could forget about I don't

1251
01:09:09,160 --> 01:09:12,320
Speaker 3: think that's doing in in in nihilism all day. Uh

1252
01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:15,559
Speaker 3: is good. I've noticed there is a lot of people

1253
01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:18,360
Speaker 3: out there who they go years and years and years

1254
01:09:18,439 --> 01:09:27,639
Speaker 3: without or even their entire life without thinking these existential thoughts.

1255
01:09:29,680 --> 01:09:33,880
Speaker 3: But not everyone is so uh, you know, not everyone's

1256
01:09:33,880 --> 01:09:36,880
Speaker 3: brain works that way, and some people, you know, some

1257
01:09:36,960 --> 01:09:39,320
Speaker 3: people could use some other fucking existential thoughts, you know.

1258
01:09:42,160 --> 01:09:46,680
Speaker 3: But it sounds like it's it's been really helpful for

1259
01:09:46,840 --> 01:09:51,519
Speaker 3: this person, Caden. You know, they're like, oh, I don't

1260
01:09:51,520 --> 01:09:54,200
Speaker 3: give a fuck anymore. When they said I'm not intimidated

1261
01:09:54,240 --> 01:09:57,840
Speaker 3: by people of a higher status anymore. Yeah, dude, once

1262
01:09:57,920 --> 01:10:01,559
Speaker 3: you fucking bro, once you, once you really like start

1263
01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:07,519
Speaker 3: to get it. I think all like status games are

1264
01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:14,120
Speaker 3: like nothing like because you realize that we're all on

1265
01:10:14,240 --> 01:10:21,479
Speaker 3: the level playing field of just you know, being flimsy humans. Right.

1266
01:10:25,160 --> 01:10:26,800
Speaker 3: So I'm glad. I'm glad that these thoughts have been

1267
01:10:26,840 --> 01:10:30,599
Speaker 3: helpful to you, Kayden. And you can order your own food.

1268
01:10:32,680 --> 01:10:33,040
Speaker 2: Hmm.

1269
01:10:36,400 --> 01:10:38,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I see what you mean. The stutter of

1270
01:10:38,680 --> 01:10:43,840
Speaker 3: like it's not maybe not like was your speech impediments

1271
01:10:44,720 --> 01:10:53,519
Speaker 3: related to like overthinking about how people see you and

1272
01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:55,720
Speaker 3: maybe once you got the septum piers and you were like,

1273
01:10:55,840 --> 01:10:57,320
Speaker 3: I don't really care how people see me at all.

1274
01:10:59,400 --> 01:11:02,280
Speaker 3: I think this is in the Therapy Gecko podcast. I

1275
01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:04,960
Speaker 3: think my name is Lyle, and I think I'm gonna go,

1276
01:11:05,439 --> 01:11:12,880
Speaker 3: but leave some comments on the Spotify page. Share the

1277
01:11:12,960 --> 01:11:16,000
Speaker 3: podcast with your friends, give it a thumbs up or

1278
01:11:16,080 --> 01:11:20,160
Speaker 3: a shake of the tale or whatever you gotta give it.

1279
01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:28,000
Speaker 3: Share it with your friends, tell the world about the

1280
01:11:28,120 --> 01:11:32,840
Speaker 3: Therapy Gecko show. I hope you enjoy it. That's it.

1281
01:11:34,280 --> 01:11:38,639
Speaker 3: That's me. I'll be back again on the next episode.

1282
01:11:39,160 --> 01:11:42,760
Speaker 3: Send an email therapy Gecko mail at gmail dot com.

1283
01:11:43,280 --> 01:11:49,120
Speaker 3: That's therapy Gecko mail at gmail dot com. Thank you

1284
01:11:49,280 --> 01:11:52,479
Speaker 3: very much, geck bless see you guys around the universe.

1285
01:11:54,080 --> 01:11:57,559
Speaker 3: Goes on the line than your phone calls every nine.

1286
01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:00,840
Speaker 1: She knows about in

1287
01:12:01,280 --> 01:12:04,360
Speaker 3: Your life, but he's not really an expert.