1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:12,239
Speaker 1: M from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in

2
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,880
Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers

3
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,959
Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you

4
00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,279
Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands

5
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:28,720
Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the

6
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:32,320
Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who growing into hymnals

7
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:37,200
Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments

8
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,680
Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored Alchemedo chariots. To keep

9
00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:46,080
Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black,

10
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:50,720
Speaker 1: Opal Brown courts, bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of

11
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:57,080
Speaker 1: jim s King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife,

12
00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,360
Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the ant. This is.

13
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:04,120
Speaker 1: And the ancestors told me that you would come to

14
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:09,880
Speaker 1: give wisdom. Thousands. They said you would come Dropping Dropping Jim.

15
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:15,520
Speaker 1: Welcome to Dropping Jim's. I'm Debbie Brown. This is my podcast.

16
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,720
Speaker 1: Here's a place that is a soft place to land

17
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:22,640
Speaker 1: as we explore higher consciousness and make it tangible and

18
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:26,880
Speaker 1: applicable to our every day life using all the tools

19
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,839
Speaker 1: that we get in real time. That is my goal,

20
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:34,080
Speaker 1: that is my mission. Healing with joy, grace, and ease

21
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:39,920
Speaker 1: today's show. I am really excited and grateful as always

22
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,640
Speaker 1: to have such beautiful souls join us in this space

23
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,760
Speaker 1: and share their wisdom. And today's show is going to

24
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:51,800
Speaker 1: be so juicy. Uh. I'm so excited to have Barbe

25
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:55,720
Speaker 1: Schmidt on the show today. Barbed Schmidt is a meditation

26
00:01:55,800 --> 00:02:00,000
Speaker 1: teacher and author, a mindfulness activist, and the co found

27
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:04,400
Speaker 1: under of Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life. A practitioner of mindfulness

28
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,640
Speaker 1: and meditation for over thirty five years, Barb is the

29
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:11,480
Speaker 1: author of the internationally best selling book The Practice Simple

30
00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:16,279
Speaker 1: Tools for Managing Stress, Finding Inner Peace, and Uncovering Happiness.

31
00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:20,080
Speaker 1: In two thousand eleven, she founded the nonprofit Peaceful Mind,

32
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:23,400
Speaker 1: Peaceful Life, with a mission to further inner peace and

33
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:27,880
Speaker 1: bring mindfulness teachings to the global community across all social

34
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:32,160
Speaker 1: media platforms. Peaceful Mind, Peaceful Life has over eight million followers,

35
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,320
Speaker 1: inspiring people to love who they are and have the

36
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:39,720
Speaker 1: courage to live the life of their dreams. Currently, Barbed

37
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:44,000
Speaker 1: teaches regular mindfulness and meditations workshops at Boca Raton Regional

38
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,160
Speaker 1: Hospital as part of the Peaceful Mind, Peaceful Life Wellness

39
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,959
Speaker 1: series for nurses staff and the whole community. Barb co

40
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:54,400
Speaker 1: founded the Health First Initiative at the Florida Atlantic University

41
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:58,120
Speaker 1: Medical School, which provides medical students with tools for taking

42
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:01,679
Speaker 1: care of their own mental and physical health. And Barbara's

43
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:05,200
Speaker 1: passionate about mentoring the next generation of leaders. The Barbed

44
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:09,840
Speaker 1: Schmidt Fellowship for Cultivating Community Involvement, Activism and Social Change

45
00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:13,720
Speaker 1: at Florida Atlantic University aims to provide high school student

46
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,400
Speaker 1: leaders with a platform to develop the skills and knowledge

47
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:21,360
Speaker 1: needed to initiate, execute, and sustain a social movement. She's

48
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,520
Speaker 1: presented workshops for over a decade at Florida Atlantic University

49
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,200
Speaker 1: as part of the Peace, Justice and Human Rights Initiative,

50
00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:30,600
Speaker 1: and Barbara has created and led programs teaching mindfulness at

51
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:36,360
Speaker 1: Nova Southeastern University and a local childhood development centers, high schools, universities,

52
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:41,840
Speaker 1: college athletic programs, and transitional programs for young adults with autism.

53
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,720
Speaker 1: Barbe's deepest desire is that people love, accept and trust

54
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:50,000
Speaker 1: themselves completely, knowing that this inter confidence and strength will

55
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:54,480
Speaker 1: lead to a world of peace and love. So grateful

56
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,200
Speaker 1: to have you here. Welcome to the show, Barb, Thank

57
00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:03,480
Speaker 1: you Brown So I'm so honored so honored to be

58
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,720
Speaker 1: here with you. I can't even express it enough. There

59
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,520
Speaker 1: are there are no words. I just adore you and

60
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:13,280
Speaker 1: I love You're dropping gems all over social media, all

61
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,600
Speaker 1: over the country, all over the world. Um, the things

62
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,000
Speaker 1: that you're doing are not only inspirational for me, but

63
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:23,400
Speaker 1: I love what you're doing and helping people around the globe.

64
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:27,960
Speaker 1: So I'm really honored. That means so much. Bar that

65
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:33,599
Speaker 1: means so much. I you are everything I like. Every

66
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,880
Speaker 1: time I see you on my Instagram or we like exchange,

67
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:40,360
Speaker 1: I cannot stop myself from being filled with a smile.

68
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,320
Speaker 1: You just have one of the most breathtaking spirits I've

69
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:49,839
Speaker 1: ever encountered. You know, It's just like it feels so

70
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:53,039
Speaker 1: rare to meet angels, but to be in your presence

71
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:56,200
Speaker 1: even virtually, like it fills the room with such an

72
00:04:56,240 --> 00:05:01,679
Speaker 1: angelic love and depth. And the way that you share

73
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,479
Speaker 1: your work in the world, it's just so gorgeous and

74
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:07,960
Speaker 1: it's so gentle and it's so full, like there's so

75
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,200
Speaker 1: much depth of spiritual teaching while also making it feel

76
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:14,640
Speaker 1: gentle some of the more scary things. And so I

77
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,560
Speaker 1: just admire you so much, and I'm so grateful to

78
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:24,560
Speaker 1: have you here when you get started. You guys look good.

79
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,120
Speaker 1: They're going to be listening to this right for a

80
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,760
Speaker 1: pick tree. Just to be just to be in your

81
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,440
Speaker 1: presence and interviewed by you is such a gift and

82
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,880
Speaker 1: a blessing to me today. I couldn't wait all day

83
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,359
Speaker 1: for this. I did nothing else today but get ready

84
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:40,679
Speaker 1: for you and just be so you know all the things,

85
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,680
Speaker 1: and you know I love our story. Barbed like so

86
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,720
Speaker 1: Barbe and I everyone we met. Actually this is now

87
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:51,920
Speaker 1: probably a year and a half ago, maybe a little more.

88
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,800
Speaker 1: At the top of the pandemic, there was this really

89
00:05:55,839 --> 00:06:01,360
Speaker 1: incredible um movement put together by Lovey and by Glennon Doyle,

90
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:04,560
Speaker 1: and it was called Share the Mic Now, and it

91
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:09,200
Speaker 1: was really in response to the social injustice that globally

92
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,599
Speaker 1: was being seen that many of us knew existed and experience,

93
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:16,840
Speaker 1: but was having this really larger reach. And we got

94
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,360
Speaker 1: paired and it was really like women of color got

95
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:25,159
Speaker 1: paired with this sounds bizartist that may be fun. Women

96
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:30,120
Speaker 1: of color got paired with white women and we got

97
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:34,920
Speaker 1: on this giant, enormous zoom call that it was a

98
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:39,000
Speaker 1: hundred of us in the inaugural class, and I got

99
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:42,320
Speaker 1: paired with you, and it was really incredible. I got

100
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,280
Speaker 1: paired with you, with your daughter Michelle, with Peaceful Mind,

101
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,920
Speaker 1: Peaceful Life, which is your foundation, and also your wildly

102
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:53,120
Speaker 1: popular Instagram page, and you and I I'll never forget

103
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,320
Speaker 1: you know, we all got on this huge call. It

104
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,279
Speaker 1: was well over a hundred people. We were sharing for

105
00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:00,200
Speaker 1: a long time, and really the whole point of this

106
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,480
Speaker 1: at this time was about getting some of the deeper

107
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:07,360
Speaker 1: understanding of what was happening in the world out into

108
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,600
Speaker 1: larger channels people that had like yourself, that have well

109
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:14,960
Speaker 1: over a million followers, and connecting other perspectives and other

110
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,920
Speaker 1: ways of looking at scenarios or looking at industries, and

111
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:22,400
Speaker 1: so it was really so powerfully felt for so many

112
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:25,400
Speaker 1: of us. So the two of us were put together

113
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:29,160
Speaker 1: and we ended up immediately getting on our own call

114
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:34,520
Speaker 1: on the side, and we fell in love. That's our

115
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:38,520
Speaker 1: love story, um, and we ended up just having I'll

116
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,600
Speaker 1: never forget. I remember getting on that call with you

117
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,480
Speaker 1: and it was a zoom. It was me, it was you,

118
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:47,000
Speaker 1: and it was Michelle, and we just it just instantly

119
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:51,800
Speaker 1: felt like we knew each other for eternities, just so

120
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,960
Speaker 1: long and when I had a chance to to really

121
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,240
Speaker 1: speak to you and really get to know your content

122
00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:01,400
Speaker 1: and your teaching on your platform. I was just blown away.

123
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,760
Speaker 1: Just spoke to my soul in such a deep way.

124
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:07,200
Speaker 1: And I love the way that you share, especially some

125
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,960
Speaker 1: of the some of the more shadowy aspects of the work.

126
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:15,800
Speaker 1: I've never seen someone rap shadow in such light before,

127
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,360
Speaker 1: and I think that's the thing that I love most

128
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:21,640
Speaker 1: about connecting to the work that you do in the world.

129
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,840
Speaker 1: You know, you get into some of the trickier things

130
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,280
Speaker 1: to talk about, you know, and I see even on

131
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,040
Speaker 1: your page like some and we'll get into this later

132
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,480
Speaker 1: because I have a lot of questions, but you know,

133
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:34,400
Speaker 1: one of the things that that you and Michelle speak

134
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,720
Speaker 1: about even in the videos that you guys do together,

135
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:41,200
Speaker 1: are you know, things like some personality disorders, the real

136
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:49,439
Speaker 1: real trauma associated with being in narcissistic partnerships or relationships, um,

137
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:54,360
Speaker 1: some different personality disorders and and ways of survival, you know,

138
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,680
Speaker 1: And I think that that doesn't always get spoken to

139
00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:00,680
Speaker 1: enough in this space. So so I'm happy to be

140
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,520
Speaker 1: here with you. And you know, you you're an o G.

141
00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:07,400
Speaker 1: You're in this space. You have been a meditation and

142
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:12,320
Speaker 1: a spiritual teacher for over thirty five years and somewhere.

143
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:16,079
Speaker 1: I'd love to start with you because I'm always so

144
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:20,360
Speaker 1: so an on admiration of those that found this work.

145
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,040
Speaker 1: When no one was talking about this work on a

146
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,840
Speaker 1: mainstream level. Now we're having these conversations and it's like, yes,

147
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:30,439
Speaker 1: mental health, mindfulness, meditation, and it's just like oh yeah, girls,

148
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,920
Speaker 1: self care, you know, like we're saying it like it's

149
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,320
Speaker 1: so easy. But you know, there there are times in

150
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:39,040
Speaker 1: history where if you said you meditated, you might be

151
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,600
Speaker 1: an outcast in your town or in your area, in

152
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,440
Speaker 1: your friend group, you know. And so I just i'd

153
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:48,560
Speaker 1: love to start with thirty five plus years ago, how

154
00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:51,719
Speaker 1: did you find the courage to find this work and

155
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:55,200
Speaker 1: share it? You know, I think it's it's so interesting

156
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,480
Speaker 1: to hear you say that, because it I think that's

157
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,480
Speaker 1: what gave me the goose bons, because it's so true.

158
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:03,400
Speaker 1: I was an outcast. I I um, I had a

159
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,600
Speaker 1: very difficult life growing up to alcoholic parents and trauma

160
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,640
Speaker 1: and abuse and all of the all the things. So

161
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,640
Speaker 1: I really need to go deep into that, but just

162
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,559
Speaker 1: know that it was a really really really hard childhood.

163
00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:16,240
Speaker 1: No money, none of that. But I always knew inside

164
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,040
Speaker 1: of me, I had a deep spiritual connection to God.

165
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,640
Speaker 1: I was raised Catholic, and so I would teach at

166
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,040
Speaker 1: the Sunday school and stuff. So I always had always

167
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,960
Speaker 1: pray and say, this can't be my life. It's got

168
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,400
Speaker 1: to be better than this. Um And so what I

169
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,720
Speaker 1: learned at an early age, at thirteen, I started working

170
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:35,920
Speaker 1: at McDonald's you could do that back then in the seventies,

171
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:40,440
Speaker 1: and I thrived that loved me. I had so much attention,

172
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,880
Speaker 1: and I just really what I learned from that was

173
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,559
Speaker 1: the more I thrived on the outside world, the better

174
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,840
Speaker 1: people like me. So I really had a shift. And

175
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,040
Speaker 1: even before that a little bit, I think, but before

176
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,640
Speaker 1: but at thirteen, Wow, it matters what I'm doing on

177
00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:56,840
Speaker 1: the outside world. It matters how I look. All that matters.

178
00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,199
Speaker 1: And what happened over the years was that the came

179
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,320
Speaker 1: my life, and so I didn't care what was inside

180
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,720
Speaker 1: of me. I didn't care how I felt. I didn't

181
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:07,080
Speaker 1: care who I you know, it didn't matter how I

182
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:11,720
Speaker 1: how I felt, or even you know, what what I

183
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,520
Speaker 1: needed to do on the inside. So God kind of

184
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,360
Speaker 1: went away, and he kind of went away a little

185
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,640
Speaker 1: bit as well, or she kind of went away when

186
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,000
Speaker 1: when I had suffered as sexual abuse with with a

187
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,480
Speaker 1: family member, so it kind of felt like, oh, he

188
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:27,320
Speaker 1: doesn't like me anyway, so let me just do what

189
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,040
Speaker 1: I know that I can do. And so, you know,

190
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:33,040
Speaker 1: fast forward to age twenty three, I owned my own

191
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,839
Speaker 1: McDonald's restaurants, you know, many, my god, so I was

192
00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,880
Speaker 1: one of the first women. But along the way in

193
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,800
Speaker 1: that journey, I developed an eating disorder of limia. You know,

194
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:48,000
Speaker 1: when you are denying that inside little girl or or

195
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,880
Speaker 1: big girl or whoever that girl is, that all of

196
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,800
Speaker 1: her feelings and you're constantly stuffing on. It was food

197
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:55,880
Speaker 1: that that helped me do that. And it also was

198
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,920
Speaker 1: a supervisor that came in one day and he said,

199
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,640
Speaker 1: brought me in a big award and check and all

200
00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,720
Speaker 1: the things, because I was really successful. You said, you

201
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,200
Speaker 1: know what, you were doing, such a fabulous job. And

202
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,520
Speaker 1: since I've met you, which was probably maybe a year

203
00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:11,040
Speaker 1: before you put on a lot of weights, you must

204
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:15,400
Speaker 1: like this job too. And I'm like, I mean even

205
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:19,000
Speaker 1: saying that today to you, and I remember, all I

206
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:23,480
Speaker 1: heard was you are fat, you are that. Okay, this

207
00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:27,600
Speaker 1: is not okay. Because everything was externally driven so it

208
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,160
Speaker 1: propelled me into this. Oh well, this is why you're

209
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,520
Speaker 1: not happy, Barbara, this is why you don't have this

210
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,960
Speaker 1: or that or whatever. Um, so you're right. The great

211
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,920
Speaker 1: fortune that I had in Nive was I couldn't go

212
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,240
Speaker 1: to work one day and opened the newspaper here in

213
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:48,000
Speaker 1: Port Lauderdale, and and there was an advertisement for eating

214
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,080
Speaker 1: disorder treatment center. They had alcoholism and drug addiction as well,

215
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:54,800
Speaker 1: but the first of its kind um in South Florida.

216
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,560
Speaker 1: And it was the one year anniversary of Karen Carpenter's death,

217
00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,680
Speaker 1: who was one of my favorites as a child, I

218
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,800
Speaker 1: mean loved her, and she died of bollini and antirexy.

219
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,559
Speaker 1: But no one had heard of it. I didn't connect

220
00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:08,600
Speaker 1: the dots. What is that? So I was really lucky

221
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,880
Speaker 1: in this treatment center. I just I thank God every

222
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,719
Speaker 1: day in my meditation, in my prayers that I was

223
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:18,640
Speaker 1: led to this center. They taught mindfulness, they taught meditation,

224
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:23,480
Speaker 1: they taught yoga, I mean everything else. They taught us food,

225
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:26,679
Speaker 1: and they went through lots of therapy and group therapy.

226
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:30,000
Speaker 1: But but it was woven all that therapy and all

227
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:33,680
Speaker 1: the things they probably do today had mindfulness and walking

228
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:38,240
Speaker 1: and exercising and yoga and meditation and sitting with silent

229
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,800
Speaker 1: eating and mindful eating, mindful eating. I even have tapes

230
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:48,240
Speaker 1: from back then because that tastes you know. So I'm

231
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:51,080
Speaker 1: very grateful and very lucky. But it was hard six

232
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,200
Speaker 1: weeks in treatment, and when I came out, I was

233
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:58,840
Speaker 1: really blessed because I knew that if I didn't do something,

234
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,640
Speaker 1: but if I didn't find a practice sir, if I

235
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,280
Speaker 1: didn't find a teacher, if I didn't keep this meditation

236
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,200
Speaker 1: and mindfulness, this whole tool kit of things that I

237
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,920
Speaker 1: learned in treatment, I had this. I knew that I

238
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,640
Speaker 1: would die because I met so many people in treatment

239
00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:14,000
Speaker 1: that we're in. There's my age today. I'm sixty four

240
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,520
Speaker 1: years old. Today. I met so many people in there

241
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:20,800
Speaker 1: suffer from bolima for twenty thirty forty years, all the

242
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:25,400
Speaker 1: illnesses and things, and I wow, I'm twenty eight. This

243
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:29,160
Speaker 1: is amazing. Now, I need to be serious. And it's

244
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:35,120
Speaker 1: been thirty seven years. Incredible of instant studying and teaching

245
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,360
Speaker 1: and all the things I think a lot of people

246
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,160
Speaker 1: maybe do today, And it was just not mainstream back then.

247
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:43,440
Speaker 1: It was not easy finding the difference. So I would

248
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,120
Speaker 1: read a book, and that would lead me to the

249
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,280
Speaker 1: next book or the next teacher, or it was just

250
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,280
Speaker 1: constantly absorbing, and I was so thirsty and hungry for

251
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:55,560
Speaker 1: it that I never stopped exploring. Without internet, without all

252
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,680
Speaker 1: the things that we have today, I was always doing

253
00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:00,000
Speaker 1: it on my own. And people thought it was crazy.

254
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,240
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you, and this is what makes me

255
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,480
Speaker 1: sad today. No, I hope it's not true. I do

256
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,040
Speaker 1: talk to a lot of kids. When I told I

257
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,840
Speaker 1: got our treatment, excited like I was on top of

258
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,160
Speaker 1: the world. I told everyone I knew, Yeah, I was

259
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:17,040
Speaker 1: in treatment for boliemia and this and that and all

260
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,640
Speaker 1: the stuff, and I was so excited all I learned.

261
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:23,120
Speaker 1: All they heard was, oh my gosh, beliemia. So does

262
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:26,080
Speaker 1: that mean we shouldn't eat with you because it's not

263
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:30,240
Speaker 1: going to be okay. And then they thought it was weird,

264
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,400
Speaker 1: you know, meditation and all of that. So you're right.

265
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:37,080
Speaker 1: I did lose quite a few relationships and friendships and

266
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:41,040
Speaker 1: just even acquaintances of people that I thought it was

267
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,680
Speaker 1: a little bit weird because I was a little more

268
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,760
Speaker 1: mindful as a little slowed down. I owned McDonald's restaurant.

269
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,600
Speaker 1: But now I'm trying to slow my mind down so

270
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:51,640
Speaker 1: I'm not a crazy person. It was a challenge. Wow,

271
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,800
Speaker 1: when I think of that moment when we complete something

272
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:57,800
Speaker 1: or when we get this new understanding, and it's almost

273
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,840
Speaker 1: like this these part you know, and I Sometimes when

274
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:04,520
Speaker 1: we're trying to hold onto what was, that's when it

275
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,520
Speaker 1: feels so challenging and difficult. But if we're just present

276
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,840
Speaker 1: and we're in allowance, that's like, yeah, a lot of

277
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,360
Speaker 1: people may have left my life. We're not on bad terms,

278
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:18,120
Speaker 1: you know. But I needed to make room. I evolved

279
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:21,720
Speaker 1: into something else entirely. That's the way that I've experienced it,

280
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:26,280
Speaker 1: where it's like you have to allow yourself the full evolution.

281
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,040
Speaker 1: I evolved into something else entirely, and I needed to

282
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:35,000
Speaker 1: make space for the relationships, the acquaintance ships, the people

283
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:39,480
Speaker 1: and experiences that now feed into what that new life is.

284
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,360
Speaker 1: And so I love that you mentioned that because I

285
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,960
Speaker 1: think that is the piece that feels scariest for people.

286
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,080
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's not even like doing the work on yourself.

287
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:51,640
Speaker 1: It's this idea of the perceived losses that will come

288
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,080
Speaker 1: up when we decide to take action in our lives,

289
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:59,360
Speaker 1: or we decide to grow and change. We're so attached

290
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,560
Speaker 1: to familiar arity. And me too, you know, I've been

291
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,520
Speaker 1: going through some things in the past couple of years,

292
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,719
Speaker 1: and big time things in the past six months. And

293
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,280
Speaker 1: what I've realized, that's what meditation, mindfulness is why it's

294
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:14,240
Speaker 1: so precious. I realized because I'm so aware. I realized,

295
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:18,239
Speaker 1: you're just you're attached to the familiar, the familiarity of

296
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,639
Speaker 1: all of the people are the things are the you know,

297
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:24,480
Speaker 1: those those are um things that you can't hold on to,

298
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,359
Speaker 1: especially when the time is right to let them go

299
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,119
Speaker 1: or when the person is right to let it go.

300
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,480
Speaker 1: I had a dear, dear friend and she used to

301
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,600
Speaker 1: say to me, and no, burn, you know, not everyone's

302
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,880
Speaker 1: gonna be here to the long end. Because I'm always thinking,

303
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,000
Speaker 1: you know, I got a good friend, they got to

304
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,679
Speaker 1: be here forever. I want to be there forever for

305
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,000
Speaker 1: them or whatever the story is that we write. And

306
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,400
Speaker 1: she would always say, you know, most of these people

307
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,840
Speaker 1: are going to come and go in your life. That's

308
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,280
Speaker 1: the way it is. And so we hope. I I

309
00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,000
Speaker 1: know that I hold on to the things that are

310
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,840
Speaker 1: familiar and the things that were and I think just

311
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,440
Speaker 1: being aware of that for me has opened so many

312
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,919
Speaker 1: doors to the possibilities of how do I move forward?

313
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,080
Speaker 1: How do you make that word? And I think that's

314
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,320
Speaker 1: key and acknowledging how you feel it's okay to say

315
00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:08,360
Speaker 1: this is hard, I'm scared. Um, these people are familiar

316
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,919
Speaker 1: to me, or this one particular person I've shared you know,

317
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:15,040
Speaker 1: thirty some years with and but it's okay. But it's

318
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,000
Speaker 1: okay to be sad, like you can have the two.

319
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,159
Speaker 1: We live in that dual society, so it's it's sad

320
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:21,879
Speaker 1: but happy at the same time. And I think if

321
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,800
Speaker 1: we can allow ourselves to be in that place thinking,

322
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,800
Speaker 1: knowing that it's okay and feeling all the feelings of

323
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:33,119
Speaker 1: excitement but also you know, fear or sadness or uncomfortable,

324
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,479
Speaker 1: I think that we're better off just being exactly who

325
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,639
Speaker 1: we are in the moment and acknowledge what's happening for

326
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:43,480
Speaker 1: us in the moment and allowing it to pass. Yeah,

327
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,959
Speaker 1: that's so powerful. And you know what I think of

328
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,400
Speaker 1: that as it applies to my own life, It's like

329
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:55,080
Speaker 1: I have been loving, especially in the last couple of years,

330
00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:58,199
Speaker 1: the real deep connection to being able to be in

331
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 1: the present moment and not think in terms of forevers,

332
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:06,400
Speaker 1: because I absolutely with somebody that was like, well, if

333
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,959
Speaker 1: we became friends, then it has to be forever. If

334
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,159
Speaker 1: we're together, then has to be forever. If I have

335
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,359
Speaker 1: this or that happening, it has to be forever. And

336
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,920
Speaker 1: then you know, obviously you'll drive yourself crazy because it's

337
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:22,359
Speaker 1: this false idea that we control anything and we don't,

338
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,760
Speaker 1: you know, and we can't even fathom what forever is

339
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:29,159
Speaker 1: or means. And you know, for anyone listening that also

340
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,639
Speaker 1: maybe doing some work around that. The thing that helped

341
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:36,359
Speaker 1: me was just always reframing it as saying, that is

342
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 1: what society says, that is not actually how it's meant

343
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,560
Speaker 1: to be felt or experienced as human beings. But since

344
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:46,480
Speaker 1: we were children, happily ever after and happily you know,

345
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,959
Speaker 1: all in forever and everything was put into that context,

346
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,840
Speaker 1: and so you think that a moment has to stretch

347
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,920
Speaker 1: out instead of letting things pass in and out as

348
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 1: they're meant to, as they're supposed to. So that has

349
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,399
Speaker 1: been something I've really been joining in my work, is

350
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:05,680
Speaker 1: getting to that place of detachment and just saying I'm

351
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,320
Speaker 1: I'm on, I'm onna ride, I'm on a divine journey

352
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,679
Speaker 1: that I'm helping to design and things will come and

353
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,280
Speaker 1: things will go, but it will always be right on

354
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:18,120
Speaker 1: time for me. Yeah, And you know it's so beautiful, daddy.

355
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,240
Speaker 1: And one of those things that Rochelle, my daughter Michelle,

356
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,919
Speaker 1: she talks about this a lot and her blogs and

357
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,080
Speaker 1: in her teachings, and it really struck me, I don't know,

358
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,920
Speaker 1: five six, seven years ago, because I learned this in treatment,

359
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:33,120
Speaker 1: that I can do anything for today that I couldn't

360
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:37,639
Speaker 1: necessarily fathom doing for a lifetime. I use that as

361
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:41,520
Speaker 1: one of my mottos forever. But then she always looks

362
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 1: at this idea of how do we how can we

363
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:46,840
Speaker 1: start to reframe or redirect the thoughts or redirect that

364
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:50,160
Speaker 1: what society is teaching us. And so when I think

365
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:53,639
Speaker 1: about friendship especially, or when you think about relationships especially,

366
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,960
Speaker 1: it's like, I can I'm in this relationship for today,

367
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:02,479
Speaker 1: and whatever happens for today is enough. I don't have

368
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,280
Speaker 1: to think about, oh my gosh, this will be a

369
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 1: lifetime and let my mind take me down that path

370
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,400
Speaker 1: of you know, happily ever after, I can be really

371
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 1: happy in this moment with the person today and reframe

372
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,159
Speaker 1: those thoughts that there's something wrong with me if the

373
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 1: relationship doesn't last, or I can't set a boundary because

374
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 1: I don't want them to leave me, or you know

375
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,199
Speaker 1: I'm not good enough because you know, because they're not

376
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,680
Speaker 1: calling me anymore, or whatever it is. If you're being

377
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,440
Speaker 1: left or you're being dumped, or if you're the one

378
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 1: that's decided to move on, if you can try to

379
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,960
Speaker 1: reframe it as there's not necessarily anything wrong with you.

380
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,320
Speaker 1: It's maybe just the time. It's like this is the

381
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 1: place for you to start growing more, or because we can't.

382
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,840
Speaker 1: I remember Oprah Winfrey when I went on one of

383
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 1: her I think it was right before the pandemic, when

384
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,960
Speaker 1: I went on I think the Love your Life to

385
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,320
Speaker 1: her when she got up on stage and she said,

386
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 1: you can have everything in your life that you desire

387
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 1: and want, you just can't have it all. At the

388
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 1: same time, I remember I lave, I were laughed at

389
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 1: the guy love, I can't have it all the same time,

390
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 1: of course we and then it makes so much sense,

391
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,639
Speaker 1: and I think I've laughed at days since and I

392
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,720
Speaker 1: need to just be gentle with yourselves and like it

393
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 1: doesn't it's so hard. I also when when Glenn and

394
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 1: Doyle's been one of my great friends and teachers as well,

395
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:21,240
Speaker 1: and she says we can do hard things. That is

396
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,280
Speaker 1: so genius. But I just want to say, we can

397
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 1: do hard things, like I've said up been going through

398
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 1: this now for a couple of years for yours. We

399
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 1: can do hard things, but it might take a few years.

400
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,680
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean I can do hard Okay, I'm done.

401
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,880
Speaker 1: I did it. Oh my gosh, Oh there's something wrong

402
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 1: with me, because here I am three years later, so

403
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 1: having some of those same thoughts. Yeah, you know, it doesn't.

404
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,840
Speaker 1: This living the life that we're teaching and the way

405
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 1: we want to live our lives. What we've chosen. It's

406
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:54,680
Speaker 1: not an overnight success. It is really a work on progress,

407
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,680
Speaker 1: and it's for the rest of your life. And I

408
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 1: think you said beautifully and enjoying the journey along the way.

409
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 1: What are the little joys and the things that we

410
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 1: can see and don't we can do hard things. Means

411
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 1: that's your model. And it takes the rest of my

412
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 1: life to do maybe one hard thing that I'm having

413
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:12,920
Speaker 1: difficulty with. If I can do it after forty years

414
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:24,160
Speaker 1: or whatever it is, that's that's phenomenal. That's a success.

415
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 1: I'm tell me, how did you guys end up launching

416
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 1: Peaceful Mind, Peaceful Life. So I've been teaching this, as

417
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,679
Speaker 1: you said, for decades, and especially at the local university here,

418
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,359
Speaker 1: flot Land University. And every time I would teach a

419
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,199
Speaker 1: workshop or have to give a lecture or class on

420
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 1: something like boundaries or self care or meditation all those things,

421
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 1: everyone would come up to me and want to talk

422
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 1: to me personally and did you have a paper? Do

423
00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:55,160
Speaker 1: you have something that um, you know that we can

424
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:58,640
Speaker 1: take home? And so in two thousand fourteen, I decided,

425
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,199
Speaker 1: you know, after that it was around maybe two thousand

426
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 1: five or six people could say write a book, write

427
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,120
Speaker 1: a book, or do a workbook or do something. I mean,

428
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,399
Speaker 1: we really didn't have it. We didn't have you know,

429
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 1: easy courses and things like that. So I launched my

430
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,640
Speaker 1: well dial up and and even stuff. At the time,

431
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 1: I feel like I live in the dinosaur days now.

432
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: I know how my grandparents fells so but it so

433
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,400
Speaker 1: I launched my book in two thousand fourteen and it did,

434
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 1: you know, really well, and it was so easy then

435
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 1: to teach even more, and it was easier to teach

436
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 1: with that, and as I started doing that a little

437
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 1: bit um for about a year. I realized the work

438
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:42,879
Speaker 1: that I came here to do was to help change

439
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:46,199
Speaker 1: the world, one person at a time Mohamma Gandhi's you

440
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 1: can be the change that you want to be, just

441
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 1: one person at a time, trying to help them, um,

442
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 1: you know, relieve their suffering, understand their worth, understand how

443
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 1: incredible and amazing they are as just being a human being,

444
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 1: just that whole idea of living your greatest life and not.

445
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 1: I didn't want people to feel the way that I

446
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,919
Speaker 1: felt for the first thirty year thirty some years of

447
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:10,960
Speaker 1: my life, and I thought, I just I want to

448
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,160
Speaker 1: help people. I thought, I can't believe. I can't believe

449
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 1: I'm where I am today. I would think to myself

450
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,680
Speaker 1: back then that I even wrote a book that I did,

451
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 1: that if I can be here, they could be here.

452
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:25,720
Speaker 1: And so I had a dream. I was I'm so

453
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 1: steeped in my practice and my readings, and I spent

454
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 1: like ten years studying all the different religions. So I

455
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 1: was studying Buddhism at the time, and I had a

456
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: dream that I was between the Dalai Lama and Chairman

457
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 1: Mao and they were. They were discussing how to have peace,

458
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 1: like to batten and all the things. And so I'm

459
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 1: in the middle of them trying to broker that deal.

460
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:59,640
Speaker 1: Oh my god, trying to broker the deal between um,

461
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 1: you know, Sherman Mau and the dialama. And I remember

462
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,120
Speaker 1: in the middle of it looking at the dial lama

463
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 1: something and I can't want to look at Herman mow um.

464
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,639
Speaker 1: I remember saying, I can't do this, are you crazy?

465
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:14,639
Speaker 1: What am I doing here? And He's looked at me

466
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:17,399
Speaker 1: and he said, you can do this and you have

467
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 1: to do this, and so I goosepop. So I woke

468
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 1: up and I thought what does that mean? And I

469
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,639
Speaker 1: couldn't get rid of it. And so the work that

470
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,239
Speaker 1: I was doing at the university we titled it like

471
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 1: before any of this, peaceful Mind, Peaceful World, because in

472
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,399
Speaker 1: my my view of me is that I am a

473
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 1: mind expert. I have studied my mind for thirty seven years.

474
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:45,640
Speaker 1: I I know when I'm in a rabbit hole and

475
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 1: I'll say to myself, just stay there, let's feel good

476
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,200
Speaker 1: for a little whit, you know, because we do that.

477
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:53,640
Speaker 1: We don't always want to be fixing ourselves or being better.

478
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:55,920
Speaker 1: We want to just suffer for a little bit. It's

479
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 1: the part of being human, and I think that's what

480
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 1: makes us so special. Um So, I know I'm a

481
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 1: mind experts. I thought it was always about and peaceful

482
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 1: for me doesn't mean sitting in a cave or being

483
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:12,400
Speaker 1: a monk. It means um power, empowered, loving yourself, accepting yourself,

484
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: trusting yourself, knowing that I may mess up a million times,

485
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 1: but the one million and one time I'm going to

486
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,120
Speaker 1: get it because I have everything that I need inside

487
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:24,400
Speaker 1: of me. So in my mind, I thought peaceful Mind.

488
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 1: That that mind that's not confused, that's not chaotic, that's

489
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: not telling me. And then we did Peaceful World because

490
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 1: I believe that if I can make my mind an

491
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 1: ally and my best friend, then I can help someone

492
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,440
Speaker 1: else do that too. I'm such a huge proponent of experience.

493
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 1: I'll share my experience with you. I don't necessarily want

494
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:45,680
Speaker 1: to tell you what to do. I want to show

495
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 1: you what happened for me. I'm big on experience. Then,

496
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,919
Speaker 1: when I wrote the book, and then when I started

497
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,359
Speaker 1: a nonprofit, Michelle and I did but we can't use

498
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:55,480
Speaker 1: peace of mind, Peaceful World. That's the work we do there.

499
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 1: And I think it was Michelle or someone in in

500
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 1: our sphere said, well, what about just a life. It

501
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 1: would be nice to have a peaceful life. I love.

502
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:09,159
Speaker 1: Maybe the world will get along, but I like my

503
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 1: life so and I had to have to make it

504
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 1: a nonprofit because that's me. I want to be able

505
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:19,919
Speaker 1: to I want all of these things to be affordable, accessible.

506
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 1: That's I love social media so much and all the

507
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 1: things that this century and these things that we're doing,

508
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 1: I wanted to be. I wanted to be accessible and

509
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 1: affordable for all people, every person of race, creed, color,

510
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:34,400
Speaker 1: all the things should be able to access. Health care,

511
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 1: mental health care, everything, everything should be able to by anyone,

512
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 1: regardless of how much money you have or the color

513
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 1: of your skin. And I am a product of the sixties,

514
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 1: of the you know, the racial justice movement, the women's movement,

515
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 1: all the movements. I thought, oh, that's why you were

516
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 1: a kid back in the sixties, because now you're you

517
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 1: are sixty something, and now you can you're actually still

518
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:03,760
Speaker 1: living in this same nightmare that you know that's happening actually,

519
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 1: and now you have all of the tools and all

520
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: of the power and all of the things to effect change,

521
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,360
Speaker 1: and one of my greatest ways of doing that is

522
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 1: making all the successful, helping people where ever weekend. And

523
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:18,120
Speaker 1: Michelle is the same, she's so passionate the same. It's

524
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 1: it's not just for it to be just for a

525
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 1: certain profit of people, you know, And speaking about the sixties,

526
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 1: it's so interesting to me. So I study humanity like

527
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 1: that is one of my favorite things to get deep

528
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: and study about. And I love I love studying specifically

529
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 1: paradigm shifts and consciousness and as it has evolved in

530
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 1: different centuries and in different time periods, because we always

531
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 1: noticed those big births that drove humanity forward by leaps

532
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 1: and bounds, like there could have been hundreds of years

533
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 1: where things were done exactly the same and then a

534
00:29:56,480 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 1: ten year time span everything changes um and we have

535
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 1: things like you know, steal in the Industrial Revolution, and

536
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 1: you know technology and science, and so it just it

537
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 1: fascinates me the way that that happens. And so I

538
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 1: really study it because I love looking at patterns about

539
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:19,200
Speaker 1: energy and about our ascension and awakening of the human

540
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 1: And so to hear you talk about the sixties, you

541
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 1: brought up such a powerful point and there were there

542
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 1: were so many things that were ripe in a few

543
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 1: decades that kind of blended together, from the women's movement

544
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 1: to racial justice and civil rights, to consciousness, you know,

545
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 1: even even the reclamation of our bodies in certain extents

546
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: with the free love movement and changing you know, the

547
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: ways that we experience sexuality. And they all kind of

548
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 1: converged at once. And even though we still have a

549
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 1: long way to go, there was so much that shifted

550
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 1: and then it felt like there was a stopping point.

551
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 1: And maybe that's the integration point. This how I'm looking

552
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 1: at it from like a study mind, right, I'm like,

553
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 1: maybe we need four decades to integrate and then we

554
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 1: do it again. And and so it feels that we

555
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: are very much in that, but more powerfully right now. Um.

556
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 1: And I'm just curious as someone who one got the

557
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 1: call in such a rare way when no one else

558
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 1: was doing that, you know, like I believe, especially people

559
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 1: like yourself, you know, where you were planted there, you

560
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 1: had to exist, you had to exist because how else

561
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 1: would have people in your orbit, in your area gotten

562
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 1: this work. They wouldn't have, you know, And so there's

563
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 1: so much so I guess I'm saying a few things

564
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: for those listening. One, if there is a calling on

565
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 1: your heart, you must listen to it, no matter how

566
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 1: small it is, no matter how even if you can't

567
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 1: see the full path or understand, you have to. You

568
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:56,760
Speaker 1: have to because wherever you are planted, you are needed. Um.

569
00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 1: But I would just love from your perspective, m what

570
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 1: do you think is happening right now in comparison to

571
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 1: when you have seen these big conscious shifting moments happened before?

572
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 1: And what do you think maybe we're doing better or

573
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 1: need to do better in comparison. Such a great question, Debbie,

574
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:21,720
Speaker 1: And I think what what you just said about. You know,

575
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 1: I think sometimes I think a few things are are happening. Um, yes,

576
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: I was. When I think of me as a girl

577
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 1: in the sixties I lived, I was in Chicago, the

578
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 1: subburbs of Chicago, so that I mean the race riots

579
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:40,479
Speaker 1: and all of the things happening was a lot of places,

580
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 1: with Chicago in particular. When I think of all of that,

581
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 1: I think I was being Um, you know, I didn't,

582
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 1: I didn't know it. I wasn't aware what was happening.

583
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 1: I was aware that I was so sad and I

584
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 1: couldn't stand it, Like how is this happening? It's kind

585
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 1: of right now, like right now, like last summer. How

586
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 1: is this happening? How is this happening? So I would that,

587
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 1: but I think I think it was it was all

588
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 1: being implanted in me because all we had was television.

589
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 1: We didn't have anything else. We didn't have phones, you know,

590
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 1: I mean we had dial up phones, but we didn't

591
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:12,719
Speaker 1: have anything else. He had no other way. He had

592
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 1: the news, he had the newspapers. But I remember what

593
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 1: happened for me as I gravitated to Martin Luther King Jr.

594
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 1: Like he became every time he would speak on television,

595
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 1: I was riveted. I would listen to every single word.

596
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 1: Or I gravitated towards um Thomas Martin, who was a

597
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:32,239
Speaker 1: Trappis monk in the in the Catholic tradition. He was

598
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 1: my teacher, and I gravitated toward the Dalai Lama, you know,

599
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 1: just watching what was happening over there. And so I

600
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 1: think about those things and now as you know, someone

601
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 1: who's been studying those people now, but also now there

602
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,320
Speaker 1: Mike John Lewis, like I feel like they're Mahatma Gandhia

603
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 1: feel like they're my friends. If that makes so in

604
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 1: this this place in my life, I feel like, wow,

605
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 1: I know them, they're my friends. Now they're all gone, though,

606
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: And when John Lewis died, I thought, oh my god.

607
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 1: I took a deep breath because I had the unbelievable

608
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:11,719
Speaker 1: honor of meeting him the year before he died. And

609
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:14,160
Speaker 1: I took a deep breath, and I thought, this is it.

610
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 1: When Brittany Packnett wrote what she wrote on that like,

611
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:21,319
Speaker 1: we got we got it now, we got this, um,

612
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:24,359
Speaker 1: and I remember thinking, oh, this is so hard, this

613
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:26,880
Speaker 1: is so heavy. And then the next breath, I thought, wait,

614
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 1: even you've been training for this for your whole life.

615
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 1: We've been training for this your whole life. Um. You

616
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 1: were made for these times, bar and so is everyone

617
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 1: else who's been in this realm of the sixties. So

618
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 1: I think to answer your question, I think, if I

619
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 1: look at the Buddhist way of thinking, and I'm not

620
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 1: a Buddhist, but I just love because Buddhism is all

621
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:49,800
Speaker 1: puck of mind, and I just I love that. You know,

622
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 1: the Buddhist way of thinking is we kind of went

623
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 1: to sleep for a while, um. And I translate that

624
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,239
Speaker 1: it was not that we went to sleep. But that

625
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 1: we you know, we hunkered down and made our money

626
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:01,319
Speaker 1: and raised our kids and did all the like like

627
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,360
Speaker 1: Hinduism calls the householder parts. We did all those things,

628
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 1: and we just kind of put racial injustice and all that,

629
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 1: you know, in the rearview mirror for a while so

630
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 1: that we could do all the things that life was

631
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:13,839
Speaker 1: saying we were supposed to do. Society said, you gotta

632
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 1: make money, you've gotta have a career, you've got to

633
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 1: raise your family, You've got to do those things. And

634
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 1: then when nuts done, which I think is happening, um,

635
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 1: you know, we can rise back up I as a

636
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 1: sixty four year old. But the most important part of

637
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 1: that is all the people like me, raising the children,

638
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:34,480
Speaker 1: like Michelle, all those people. They're the ones doing I mean,

639
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 1: I think I'm doing great work, but I I am

640
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 1: so inspired by the thirties some things, in the twenties

641
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: some things. And Michelle and I are teaching high school

642
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 1: kids social justice and activism and community leadership and stuff

643
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,920
Speaker 1: in the university, and I look at these fourteen and

644
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 1: fifteen and sixty old kids, I'm like, I'm I'm blown away.

645
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:58,839
Speaker 1: So I feel like we passed it along, even though

646
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 1: we were in the streets of Arching after that sixties movement.

647
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 1: But we didn't lose our spirit. We didn't lose that

648
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: we were here. I know that I didn't lose the

649
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,359
Speaker 1: reason I was here because I don't think I would

650
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 1: have come back to it if I lost it, or

651
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 1: if it wasn't I was here. So when you say

652
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:19,719
Speaker 1: to everyone listening, you get the call answer it. And

653
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 1: when I you asked me, how did I come to

654
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 1: this when I couldn't get out of bed to go

655
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 1: to work? I was twenty eight years old. I had

656
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 1: never missed a day of work from the age of

657
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 1: thirteen nine. Ever, I never called in sick ever, and

658
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 1: I'm owning my own restaurants, and I never I never

659
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:40,720
Speaker 1: stayed home ever. So when I woke up that morning

660
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 1: and literally said you can't get out of bed, it

661
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,280
Speaker 1: was a huge call. And I think we get those.

662
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 1: But I love what you said, like pay attention, like notice,

663
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: and if it's something different, remember we mean you can't

664
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:58,279
Speaker 1: get out of bed, You're never So I love that

665
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,840
Speaker 1: you said that. You know, just really start awareness is

666
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:04,320
Speaker 1: key what ticknoth Hans is one of my teachers, favorite teachers.

667
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:09,760
Speaker 1: He said, he says. Awareness is He's saying so beautifully.

668
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 1: Awareness is like the sun, and when it shines on things,

669
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 1: they are transformed. Mm hmm every time everything you wake up. Yeah,

670
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: So I strive my whole life to just be aware.

671
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 1: May not always make the right choice, definitely, don't always

672
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 1: make the right choice, um, but I'm always aware. You

673
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 1: know what I would love to speak to with you, Barb,

674
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 1: and I have chills already and I haven't even got

675
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 1: it out of my mouth. Okay, spirit, where are we going?

676
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:59,920
Speaker 1: Um m hm. So something that really that really is

677
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:06,680
Speaker 1: of striking about you is your authenticity is so palatable,

678
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 1: like the way that it comes off of you. Your authenticity,

679
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 1: your grace, your deep peace with you is so felt.

680
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 1: And I think that's why I'm always so impressed by

681
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,400
Speaker 1: the work that you and Michelle do, and especially the

682
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 1: work you do together both as individual spiritual teachers, but

683
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,719
Speaker 1: also as a mother and a daughter and seeing that

684
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,239
Speaker 1: pathway like that's so important for me as a mother

685
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:35,920
Speaker 1: of a son who you know, my biggest goal is

686
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 1: to keep him as in remembrance of his wholeness as

687
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: possible throughout his childhood, um and life and get the

688
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:48,479
Speaker 1: tools and the things, but you know you're you've sat

689
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 1: here and the way that you share there is so

690
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 1: much love. There's so much divine love that surrounds everything

691
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: that you speak and that you say and do. But

692
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 1: at the beginning of conversation, you also shared some very

693
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:10,359
Speaker 1: real and deep traumas that you have experienced that I

694
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:14,319
Speaker 1: think are so relatable for so many, including myself. I'm

695
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 1: someone that has survived narcissistic abuse personally, and it was

696
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 1: it's the work of your life to retrain yourself to

697
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 1: love yourself. It's the work of your life, you know,

698
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 1: and it's there is a point at least as I

699
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,400
Speaker 1: study it and have experienced it. It's like you know,

700
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:39,359
Speaker 1: you also there's always more, There's always a deepening, right,

701
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 1: no matter how much time has passed since, and no

702
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 1: matter how great that you're feeling it it's very deliberate,

703
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 1: diligent work that is the active part of your daily life,

704
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 1: loving yourself, supporting yourself after experiencing certain traumas um But

705
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 1: the way in which that you still are able to

706
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:03,279
Speaker 1: share in the world with such authentic joy and such

707
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 1: authentic self love, I think that is the piece that

708
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:10,200
Speaker 1: doesn't seem possible for most people. The idea that it

709
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:13,239
Speaker 1: won't be a performance, the idea that you can actually

710
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:18,319
Speaker 1: embody such deep love for yourself, um and such a

711
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:22,440
Speaker 1: neutral way of observing your past. That's the part that

712
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 1: I think that, to me, is one of the greatest

713
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:29,720
Speaker 1: gifts in doing the work that can really propel people

714
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:32,959
Speaker 1: forward if they believe that's available to them. There there

715
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 1: can come a point where you can look at your

716
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 1: darkest moments and not have emotional charge around it and

717
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 1: look at it as neutral, or look at it as

718
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 1: you shared it of this happened to me. This happened

719
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 1: to me, but that's not the whole story. This is

720
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:50,239
Speaker 1: the way that I funneled it, um and so any

721
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:53,240
Speaker 1: way that that you can speak to that in this moment,

722
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:57,360
Speaker 1: especially for the survivors listening, of being able to reclaim

723
00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 1: your authentic power and stand enjoy and it really be real.

724
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,360
Speaker 1: I appreciate you asking me this so much because I

725
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,720
Speaker 1: really want everyone listening out there that this is hard

726
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:13,839
Speaker 1: and that it was not easy for me. It it's

727
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 1: been I mean, I'm sixty four years old and I

728
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 1: am still always working on myself or looking at myself,

729
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,439
Speaker 1: and it took a lot of therapy. I joke all

730
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 1: the time that, oh my gosh, I'm sixty four years old.

731
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 1: I was probably you know, forty years in therapy on

732
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 1: and off, and took a lot of therapy and a

733
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 1: lot of hard work and studying and in my own

734
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 1: capability of being able to study. And so what I

735
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 1: want to say to everyone, it's not perfect love. Yes,

736
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:48,320
Speaker 1: I love myself, I trust myself, and I accept myself.

737
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 1: Those are the three um like the three pillars I

738
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:55,839
Speaker 1: think that I look at but it's not perfect at all.

739
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,840
Speaker 1: Don't ever think that I'm sitting here I am. I

740
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:01,359
Speaker 1: am exactly who I um. You are seeing exactly who

741
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 1: I am. But I am not perfect. And when I

742
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 1: say that I'm a uh a mind expert, it doesn't

743
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 1: mean that I only have joy and everything is good

744
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 1: and I do something wrong and I bounced right back.

745
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 1: You know, want people to think that, because I think

746
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:19,880
Speaker 1: that's the beauty of life. When I say, accepting myself

747
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:23,040
Speaker 1: and trusting myself are probably as as important, if not

748
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 1: you know, up there with loving myself. Because I sometimes

749
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 1: don't want to do the right thing. Mmm, I'm tired

750
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 1: of doing the right thing. I've been working on this

751
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:35,960
Speaker 1: for you know, so, and that's okay. I don't get

752
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 1: down on myself and say, oh my gosh, you're not authentic,

753
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:42,840
Speaker 1: you're not real. I think that people make that mistake.

754
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 1: I think that we're trying to be perfect. And I

755
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:48,399
Speaker 1: obviously if Taipei all, I have all the signs, all

756
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 1: the things. So being perfect was a huge thing for me.

757
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:55,319
Speaker 1: And I think, as i'm as I'm now a sixt

758
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 1: or four ye old woman, you're never going to be perfect.

759
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,160
Speaker 1: So my love and acceptance and trust in myself up,

760
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 1: it's not perfect, but I always come back to it,

761
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 1: and it always it's my it's my um, it's who

762
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:09,640
Speaker 1: I am on the inside that I'm connected to. So

763
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 1: I have the faith and the trust that I'll get

764
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 1: back to it. So when I go off the deep end,

765
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:18,400
Speaker 1: I don't go off the deep end without without a

766
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 1: parachute or without that tagging, you know, like that that

767
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 1: little dinghy that's attached to the big yacht. You know,

768
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 1: I'm the big yacht and everything, But sometimes I get

769
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 1: out in that dinghy in that water and I don't

770
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:32,520
Speaker 1: know where I am, don't know what I'm doing, I

771
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 1: don't know what's happening. Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh,

772
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:37,759
Speaker 1: and I will panic or I will get frantic, but

773
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 1: I have the tether to who I am. And so

774
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 1: I think that my recovery and the way that I've

775
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 1: been living my life has been woven not only with

776
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 1: the therapy loss of therapy, but the meditation of mindfulness

777
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 1: piece has been key. I don't know I would be

778
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 1: sitting here the way that I am today without it.

779
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,840
Speaker 1: So I try to help people see also have the

780
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:03,400
Speaker 1: you know, please seek therapy, seek whatever you can, whatever

781
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 1: you can, and whatever you need to do. Because trauma

782
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 1: is trauma and you talk about it beautifully. Trauma is

783
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 1: is something that you live with for the rest of

784
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:13,880
Speaker 1: your life. It truly because trauma what I've noticed in

785
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:16,600
Speaker 1: myself and I like the mind is so important to me.

786
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 1: Trauma confused gets me confused when I'm confused, or when

787
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 1: I'm making a decision or a choice, or I'm feeling

788
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,360
Speaker 1: less than or I'm feeling like I don't know what

789
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 1: I'm doing. If I sit for just even if I

790
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:33,440
Speaker 1: sit for five minutes, It'll come to me and I'll say,

791
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:37,800
Speaker 1: how are you confused? Confused? Well, what are you confused about?

792
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 1: And I think it's my trauma because I was so

793
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:44,719
Speaker 1: severe with all of that and so being laughing about that,

794
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:48,720
Speaker 1: I said, oh, yes, oh you're here again. Okay, that's

795
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:52,719
Speaker 1: it's such a relief, like okay, okay, that's I have

796
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 1: Gooseblum saying this to you because it's just experienced it. Wait,

797
00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:59,760
Speaker 1: oh okay, so nothing's really wrong. There's not really anything

798
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:02,239
Speaker 1: wrong with me. I am the magnificent human being that

799
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 1: every single one of us are, and I think that's

800
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:08,720
Speaker 1: that's what you feel in me, or that's what you see,

801
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:13,320
Speaker 1: is that I am very authentic and real about life

802
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 1: is hard, and you will go through these times and

803
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 1: you will feel lost and you will feel um at

804
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:22,560
Speaker 1: at the end of your rope. And there have been

805
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:26,240
Speaker 1: times in the past month or so I said, oh gosh,

806
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 1: could this be different? Maybe this is that I'm going

807
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:31,920
Speaker 1: to go off the deep end, or maybe I can't

808
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:36,800
Speaker 1: survive this, or I mean, I we all that that's

809
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 1: length that is and when when you do the hard thing,

810
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:43,400
Speaker 1: that will be in the back of my mind because

811
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 1: I'm so connected to and I'm messed with my practice

812
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:50,400
Speaker 1: and what I know to be true. So I've got

813
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 1: double track called you get a double track sometimes going

814
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:55,040
Speaker 1: even a meditation, you know, we get a double track going.

815
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 1: We got all the thoughts going, and then we get

816
00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 1: the deep meditation and going. In life, I'll get a

817
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:03,399
Speaker 1: double track, Barbara, your whole You're completely got at all. Oh,

818
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:05,480
Speaker 1: I don't think. I think I finally met my match.

819
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 1: Life is over. You know, you've got the crazy things

820
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:11,399
Speaker 1: that say so, I hope there was a long way

821
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 1: of saying that. Just keep doing the work, one day

822
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 1: at a time, knowing that you're doing everything you can,

823
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 1: and you're peeling. I call it peeling the layers of

824
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 1: an onion. M R. It's it's there's so many layers,

825
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:28,760
Speaker 1: and you're getting deeper and deeper. And so I experienced

826
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 1: neither another little piece of my trauma a few weeks

827
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:36,320
Speaker 1: ago in this little girl that um didn't feel safe.

828
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,959
Speaker 1: It was actually my little girl and she I could

829
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 1: just I could feel that, Like, where did that come from?

830
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,359
Speaker 1: I thought? I I thought, I thought I protected you

831
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 1: and and and healed you decades ago. Yeah, what do

832
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 1: you mean? What do you mean now? What's happening now?

833
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 1: Let me just be patient and loving and open and

834
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 1: receptive and curious all the words that will help you

835
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:02,879
Speaker 1: to feel that everything is okay all the time, even

836
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:05,839
Speaker 1: if it's your your worst, like all as well. That's

837
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 1: my favorite affirmation. I take a few deep breaths, all

838
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 1: as well, all is well in this moment, and then

839
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 1: tik not on one of my favorite teachers. I went

840
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: on some silent retreats with him for a decade, for years,

841
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:23,320
Speaker 1: and we'd walk for hours in silence. The whole retreat

842
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:25,719
Speaker 1: was in silence, and he would only instructions. He would

843
00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 1: say me, where your feet are, Where your feet are?

844
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:33,320
Speaker 1: So when I met my worst, I'll say, all is well,

845
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:36,920
Speaker 1: urb you are, your feet be right here? What what's

846
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 1: happening for you? Right here? And I come right back.

847
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:43,800
Speaker 1: That's the ground things that you're you're studying yourself for

848
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:46,799
Speaker 1: your son. I think it's the same you're you're a

849
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:51,160
Speaker 1: practice and who you are as a human beings. Everything

850
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 1: for him, it was everything. From Michelle, she didn't and

851
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 1: she thought it was nuts. I put a little sign

852
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 1: outside the door, a little friend of mine, crouteate, a

853
00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 1: little pillow that said about inside. I had several those

854
00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:05,719
Speaker 1: you know, do not disturb when I go in through

855
00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 1: their meditated stuff, and she thought it's weird. But she

856
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:11,880
Speaker 1: loved it because she could see I could weather the

857
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 1: storms of life and still stay sandy. Wow. Wow, Wow.

858
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:21,879
Speaker 1: People know it's not perfect love. It's not perfect love.

859
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 1: There's no such thing as that, and society it's a

860
00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 1: very imperfect love. That's really beautiful. Mm hmm. Thank you

861
00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 1: for unpacking that so fully, and you know the thing

862
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:39,839
Speaker 1: that came up for me as you were sharing. And

863
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:43,520
Speaker 1: if this is useful for anyone listening, I think a

864
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:47,879
Speaker 1: lot of people approach or don't approach meditation and mindfulness

865
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:51,920
Speaker 1: because they might be saying for those who have been

866
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:55,800
Speaker 1: on the experiencing end of trauma, big to your little tea,

867
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:59,839
Speaker 1: whatever kind of trauma, we all carry something, you think,

868
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:02,239
Speaker 1: but there's no way that that could ever make me

869
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:06,279
Speaker 1: not think about this right and so to that I

870
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:10,360
Speaker 1: want to offer when we talk about in this conversation,

871
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 1: you can heal, and then there's always opportunity to go

872
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 1: deeper in that healing, even if it shows itself decades later,

873
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:22,239
Speaker 1: it's because at that moment, what you've done served you

874
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 1: so fully, and at that moment, now there's more, there's

875
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 1: a little more available, or there's a way to refine,

876
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 1: or there's a way to just shine a little more

877
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 1: light in that area, you know, um as we're coming

878
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:36,319
Speaker 1: to know as the studies of trauma expand for the

879
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:39,360
Speaker 1: very first time. You know, a lot of it is

880
00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:42,840
Speaker 1: in ourselves, and so it is a daily diligent practice

881
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 1: to be with yourself to heal yourself. And when I

882
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:51,280
Speaker 1: think about the abuse in my life, you know, I

883
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 1: I think about it several times a week. It enters

884
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:58,880
Speaker 1: my field of consciousness regularly, maybe even daily, but there's

885
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:01,839
Speaker 1: not charge for it in this moment with me, and

886
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:06,080
Speaker 1: so I think about it because it happened, because it exists.

887
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:09,959
Speaker 1: But in comparison too many years ago, in comparison even

888
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:13,600
Speaker 1: to you know, the last couple of years, it's not

889
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:18,759
Speaker 1: always felt as this gaping, using wound. Sometimes it's just

890
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 1: the scar that is healed beautifully. And I'm just aware

891
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:24,720
Speaker 1: of it. I'm aware that that has happened in my life,

892
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:28,040
Speaker 1: but I'm not living in that feeling right now. I

893
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:30,720
Speaker 1: can just observe it, and then I can let myself

894
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:33,719
Speaker 1: know like, yeah, that popped up because it happened, and

895
00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 1: now you can release the thought if you choose to. Yeah,

896
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 1: I'm so beautiful sid to me, And I think it's

897
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:43,759
Speaker 1: not you know it does you think about it? And

898
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:48,360
Speaker 1: I love that the idea that you know, your life

899
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:51,879
Speaker 1: goes where you place your attention, and so the mind

900
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,479
Speaker 1: is always trying to get our attention so to'll throw

901
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:57,480
Speaker 1: everything at us. So I believe that the same as you,

902
00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:02,000
Speaker 1: that those thoughts and those ideas come up regularly. Um,

903
00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:04,279
Speaker 1: I might stand in front of a mirror and say

904
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:06,440
Speaker 1: to myself, woll you look fat? Maybe you should I

905
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 1: think I put this in my book, Maybe you should

906
00:51:08,120 --> 00:51:10,120
Speaker 1: cancel going out with your friends because you don't look

907
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:12,480
Speaker 1: good enough. You know when I share that with you,

908
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 1: that are like, but you've been in recovery for all

909
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:17,480
Speaker 1: this long. I said, yeah, but I have trauma from

910
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 1: all of that bulimia all those years. And so it

911
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that it's not going to rear its head,

912
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,280
Speaker 1: or it's not going to try to get my attention,

913
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 1: or it's not going to as you said, it's in

914
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:30,080
Speaker 1: the cells. And so we have a beautiful choice. And

915
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:32,719
Speaker 1: I think that's the that's the whole reason I think

916
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 1: for training your mind to be a friend and an

917
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:39,120
Speaker 1: ally and using practices and using tools and having all

918
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:42,279
Speaker 1: those things, Because if I didn't have all that that

919
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 1: thought would start to take root in my mind because

920
00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 1: I give it food. I would say, well, where do

921
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,480
Speaker 1: you think I'm Where do you think I'm fat? Was

922
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 1: it because the pants look a little bit tight? Or

923
00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:54,040
Speaker 1: maybe about the wrong I mean, I would have a

924
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:57,879
Speaker 1: whole conversation in the past about it, and today I'll

925
00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:00,160
Speaker 1: say it to myself and I'll look at myself. I'll

926
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:03,000
Speaker 1: start to laugh most of the time because I'll say, well,

927
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:05,120
Speaker 1: that's just not true. You you know, you've come to

928
00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:08,080
Speaker 1: visit me again, or that thought is not true. I mean,

929
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:11,560
Speaker 1: that's what I love about the the age that we're

930
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:13,680
Speaker 1: living in now, with all the research and the science

931
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 1: that you mentioned studying humanity. There's so much science behind

932
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 1: now that we think, you know, seventy thousand thoughts a day,

933
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 1: and eighty five those are repetitive, and of those that

934
00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:28,600
Speaker 1: are repetitive, most of them are negative. So no wonder

935
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:31,719
Speaker 1: we're like a mess all the time makes sense. So

936
00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:35,080
Speaker 1: that makes me feel better, like, Okay, no, I get it.

937
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 1: We're all like this because the mind is unruly, and

938
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:41,359
Speaker 1: no one ever taught us, No one ever taught us

939
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 1: that you actually have a choice and what you're going

940
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 1: to pay attention to and think you have a choice.

941
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 1: Book comes in the head, like you just said, but

942
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 1: you have a choice as to what you're going to

943
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 1: pay attention to and what thoughts you're going to believe.

944
00:52:54,800 --> 00:53:00,799
Speaker 1: And the more you keep believing the truthful, helpful, stay us,

945
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 1: the more you start to recognize that the other thoughts

946
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:06,560
Speaker 1: not only are not real, they don't serve you. They

947
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:11,840
Speaker 1: bring you down. And it's really your responsibility start honoring

948
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 1: yourself and not leaving them. It's it's it's just your

949
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:18,480
Speaker 1: practice to start paying attention to what isn't true and

950
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:22,640
Speaker 1: what isn't helping you. And I think that idea of

951
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:27,520
Speaker 1: we're always going to have little triggers, Yeah, and just

952
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:30,320
Speaker 1: being aware awareness. Awareness is like the sun when it

953
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 1: shines on things, it's transformed. If you can just be

954
00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:36,040
Speaker 1: aware of the minute you are aware of you're here again.

955
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:39,560
Speaker 1: I dealt with you many many times in the past

956
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:45,239
Speaker 1: sixty years. Um, you know, goodbye? You know with this

957
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:48,239
Speaker 1: is this two shall pass? Or life as well in

958
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:53,160
Speaker 1: this moment or be where my yes one that I

959
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:55,760
Speaker 1: love to use for me is it all serves purpose.

960
00:53:56,640 --> 00:54:00,080
Speaker 1: Everything serves purpose, you know, And I like to identify

961
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 1: way is that I was positively informed um by by

962
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:09,440
Speaker 1: different experiences. That is so good. I say to everyone

963
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:12,880
Speaker 1: listening to if Debby and I can do it, you

964
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:18,480
Speaker 1: can do it. But we're sharing the deepest things. Everyone

965
00:54:18,719 --> 00:54:22,520
Speaker 1: can and it's not easy. But you can, little by

966
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 1: little by little, like doing one thing, one baby thing

967
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:28,640
Speaker 1: every day in the twenty or period that you could do.

968
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 1: Maybe it's read a chapter in the book. Maybe it's

969
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 1: pick an affirmation that you'll use every time the mind

970
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:37,359
Speaker 1: tells you a lie, every time the mind beats you up.

971
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:40,760
Speaker 1: You stop on all the thoughts you're having in the mind, like, Okay,

972
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 1: what's real and what isn't. Just become a scientist of

973
00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:45,919
Speaker 1: the mind all day long. Well what you just said

974
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:48,000
Speaker 1: that isn't real? Well, no, it's not real. And then

975
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,040
Speaker 1: you because the minute you say it's not real, or

976
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:53,200
Speaker 1: the minute you challenge it, you took it slower, you

977
00:54:53,239 --> 00:54:56,400
Speaker 1: took it Centergy. It goes like that like that that

978
00:54:56,960 --> 00:55:01,760
Speaker 1: the second you self inquiry, the second you you're feeling

979
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:06,920
Speaker 1: a question, you've regained your power. Yeah, exactly, do that

980
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:09,279
Speaker 1: all day long. It's not like you're gaining your power

981
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:13,680
Speaker 1: for the rest of the day. You can you can,

982
00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:16,200
Speaker 1: and it does happen a lot, but it may not

983
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:18,279
Speaker 1: and it doesn't matter. It's all the same. It's all

984
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:20,840
Speaker 1: it's all as you said, it's all purpose, it's all practice,

985
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:23,960
Speaker 1: it's all the grand scheme of life. And it's never

986
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:27,279
Speaker 1: the same from moment to moment to moment, which we

987
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:31,680
Speaker 1: know from this pandemic. It's taught us amazing thing. It

988
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:36,799
Speaker 1: has never the same from moment to moment. We get

989
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:41,920
Speaker 1: into a groove and all okay, the gifts of the

990
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 1: pandemic of restructuring time for ourselves has been a meant

991
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 1: such a master class and detachment unless we sink control.

992
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:55,799
Speaker 1: And I think what I love, what I always look

993
00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:59,239
Speaker 1: at for people, I always a master class of detachment

994
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 1: and awareness and understanding that we literally don't have any

995
00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:06,239
Speaker 1: control that we ever thought we did. Now we now

996
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 1: we really know we don't. But it's also a master

997
00:56:08,680 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 1: class and pain, yes, and suffering, and up and and

998
00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:21,719
Speaker 1: alone being alone and lonely and fearful, and um, I

999
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:24,719
Speaker 1: think the duality I've been studied. I've been thinking about

1000
00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:28,160
Speaker 1: duality a lot in my life that I've been going

1001
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:31,520
Speaker 1: to and I thought, we live in a dualistic world,

1002
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:33,919
Speaker 1: and we live in You know, there's the good. There's

1003
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:37,080
Speaker 1: always the good and bad. There's always the suffering and

1004
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 1: the joy, and so understanding the suffering and moving ourselves

1005
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,359
Speaker 1: through it, our emotions and getting the emotions out and

1006
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:46,480
Speaker 1: feeling the feelings, and once you want to name the

1007
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 1: feelings of it's gone, and then you do the right

1008
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:52,880
Speaker 1: for some is the work of what the pain is underneath.

1009
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:55,560
Speaker 1: And then we bring our attention to the joy or

1010
00:56:55,600 --> 00:57:00,680
Speaker 1: what we're saying the blessings or with your son or I.

1011
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:03,359
Speaker 1: I live next door to an elderly woman who has

1012
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:05,360
Speaker 1: captives in her front yard, and I live in South Florida.

1013
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:06,719
Speaker 1: I didn't even know there was such a thing as

1014
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:10,720
Speaker 1: a captus in South Florida because it's wet here. Become

1015
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:16,800
Speaker 1: obsessed with her cactus flower and yes, she's mom. I

1016
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 1: can't even talk to you anymore about your captus because

1017
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:22,920
Speaker 1: I'm so curious about how they flowered certain times. And

1018
00:57:22,960 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 1: I thought I knew there. I thought I knew what

1019
00:57:25,240 --> 00:57:30,040
Speaker 1: these cactus did last pandemically, we're all last beginning of this.

1020
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:32,560
Speaker 1: I thought I got it down. The cactus does listen,

1021
00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 1: It does listen. The rooms here and this this summer,

1022
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:39,880
Speaker 1: this spring. This, this section of the pandemic totally different.

1023
00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 1: I remember thinking, Wow, Barb, you don't have it. This

1024
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 1: is a whole new thing. This is so cool. I

1025
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 1: think being curious and being white and gentle with yourself

1026
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:51,920
Speaker 1: helps a lot. And it's it's not easy, but we

1027
00:57:51,960 --> 00:57:54,760
Speaker 1: can do it. We can just focus our attention there.

1028
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:59,560
Speaker 1: We can just trust that you can do it. Yeah,

1029
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:02,080
Speaker 1: one little we can do it. We can do it.

1030
00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:07,440
Speaker 1: You can do it. Thank God for everybody that is

1031
00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 1: ready to get more of all things Barbed. Go to

1032
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:14,840
Speaker 1: the instagram Peaceful Mind, Peaceful Life. You can also connect

1033
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:17,480
Speaker 1: to her personal instagram on there. There are so many

1034
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:22,800
Speaker 1: powerful videos with deep teaching, so many recentering quotes, so

1035
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:25,320
Speaker 1: many things to get you into alignment throughout your day.

1036
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:29,960
Speaker 1: And also right now, Barb has a special promotion. For

1037
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:33,480
Speaker 1: the very first time, she is offering a small intimate

1038
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:37,520
Speaker 1: group of mindfulness coach coaching program later this year. It's

1039
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:41,160
Speaker 1: only going to be limited to eight people and topics

1040
00:58:41,160 --> 00:58:45,600
Speaker 1: will include setting healthy boundaries, managing emotional triggers, coping with

1041
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:53,880
Speaker 1: anxiety and overwhelmed, finding forgiveness and the often elusive closure

1042
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 1: are all going to be some of the curriculum that

1043
00:58:56,280 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 1: you can really equip your life with. So for anyone

1044
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:02,120
Speaker 1: listening that is interested, it's only limited to eat people.

1045
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:05,000
Speaker 1: So if you're called to this move quick of the

1046
00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:07,840
Speaker 1: program or upcoming retreats are going to be in two

1047
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:10,720
Speaker 1: So when you go to Peaceful Mind, Peaceful life dot org,

1048
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:13,720
Speaker 1: sign up for the newsletter and get more information there.

1049
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:16,520
Speaker 1: So peaceful Mind, peaceful life dot org and on I. G.

1050
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:20,960
Speaker 1: Barb's book is also available to practice simple tools for

1051
00:59:21,040 --> 00:59:25,800
Speaker 1: managing stress, finding inner peace, and uncovering happiness. Thank you

1052
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:29,520
Speaker 1: so much for joining us far. This was such a joy.

1053
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:32,320
Speaker 1: And and I just love you, and I love you,

1054
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:34,800
Speaker 1: and I love all of you listening. Um, just just

1055
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:38,040
Speaker 1: know that you matter and you you make a difference

1056
00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:40,280
Speaker 1: in this world every single day that you just open

1057
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 1: your eyes. Just open your eyes in the morning before

1058
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:45,880
Speaker 1: you get out of bed, close them again. You know,

1059
00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:47,760
Speaker 1: just think of one thing you're grateful for, and just

1060
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:51,120
Speaker 1: really know that you make a difference just by being alive.

1061
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:53,400
Speaker 1: And I'm so grateful to know you, deVie, you have

1062
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:57,000
Speaker 1: You've made such a huge impact in my life. Huge.

1063
00:59:57,480 --> 01:00:00,880
Speaker 1: I can't and Michelle and I love you to the

1064
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:05,400
Speaker 1: mooning back. Yeah, that's our love. Story back. That's our

1065
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 1: love story to all the realms and back. I love

1066
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:11,480
Speaker 1: all of you. I love all of you. I think

1067
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:14,640
Speaker 1: that's what I think, That's what was how I was

1068
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:19,720
Speaker 1: drawn to you, Debbie. Is Your love for humanity is

1069
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:23,840
Speaker 1: um overwhelming. It's over yeah. I mean it flows so

1070
01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:28,280
Speaker 1: freely and so graciously and so lovingly, and I feel

1071
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:32,840
Speaker 1: like we connect on that that human level of love

1072
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:36,600
Speaker 1: and care and compassion and and just joy for all

1073
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:40,040
Speaker 1: the beings out there. So we love you so much.

1074
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:45,640
Speaker 1: As you're listening to this. M hmm, Barbed Schmidt, ladies

1075
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:49,560
Speaker 1: and gentlemen, I mean, don't we just all feel so

1076
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:54,080
Speaker 1: much deeper inside of ourselves from being in this moment together.

1077
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:57,320
Speaker 1: Thank you, Barbed so much. I'm so grateful for your time.

1078
01:00:57,360 --> 01:01:00,600
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for your life. I'm grateful for your wisdom,

1079
01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:05,760
Speaker 1: so grateful for Michelle. Thank you everyone for listening. Please

1080
01:01:06,040 --> 01:01:08,600
Speaker 1: go head to their Instagram page. That is your soul

1081
01:01:08,600 --> 01:01:11,680
Speaker 1: work for the day. I want you to screenshot five

1082
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:14,800
Speaker 1: different posts and send them to someone who needs it

1083
01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:17,360
Speaker 1: and also save it in your phone for yourself, and

1084
01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:21,000
Speaker 1: maybe those can be your meditation prompts. Go as you full,

1085
01:01:21,080 --> 01:01:25,080
Speaker 1: Let explore go gently when needed, but keep moving forward.

1086
01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:30,400
Speaker 1: I love you, Thank you, not must day. Everyone, Hey,

1087
01:01:30,440 --> 01:01:34,160
Speaker 1: find me on social Let's connect at Debbie Brown. That's

1088
01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:37,440
Speaker 1: Twitter and Instagram, or go to my website Debbie Brown

1089
01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:40,320
Speaker 1: dot com. And if you're listening to the show on

1090
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:46,080
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, please please please don't forget to rate, review

1091
01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:51,200
Speaker 1: and subscribe and send this episode to a friend. Dropping

1092
01:01:51,280 --> 01:01:53,440
Speaker 1: Jim's is the production of I Heart Radio and the

1093
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:56,680
Speaker 1: Black Effect Network. It's produced by Jack Please and me

1094
01:01:57,040 --> 01:02:00,439
Speaker 1: Debbie Brown. For more podcast from My heart Radio, visit

1095
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:04,000
Speaker 1: the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

1096
01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:10,760
Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows. H m hm