WEBVTT - Follow Your Intuition 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.359 Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast. 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:10.799 I am pumped about today's episode Mark Eastern. Are you 0:00:10.840 --> 0:00:15.320 guys excited beyond Beyond? Mark? You have not been here 0:00:15.320 --> 0:00:17.280 for a minute. What's going on with you? I have not. 0:00:17.440 --> 0:00:19.280 You kind of left me hanging there for a little bit. 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:22.480 You know, I have so many different things and I 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:24.959 want to be here every time, and some weeks it 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:26.720 just doesn't work out. But I'm here now. We should 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:30.120 focus on that, all right, focus on the positive, right, 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:33.760 that's all about the positive. Um. Well, you know who 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:36.680 is here who hasn't left my side is my best 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:41.519 friend Katherine. Hey, guys, Hi Catherine? Are you so? I 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:44.839 don't know if you listen to last week's episode. Did 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:48.320 you listen to it? No? You didn't. I kind of 0:00:48.479 --> 0:00:52.720 mentioned you. I'm worried. That's why I haven't listened yet. No. 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:56.200 I I mentioned you because I told the story about 0:00:57.440 --> 0:01:02.920 the night after I filed for divorce and I had 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:05.679 to take the kids to school and you were in 0:01:05.720 --> 0:01:08.199 the kitchen and I came out and I was having 0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:10.280 like a full blown panic attack and I was just like, 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:12.039 I can't take the kids to school, and you were 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:15.560 like and I was waiting for you to say I'll 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:19.959 take them. I know, I know you were, and you 0:01:20.000 --> 0:01:22.640 didn't say it, and I'm like, why isn't she saying 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:24.080 she'll take the kids? I can't you see him having 0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:25.600 a panic attack on the floor and I'm sweating and 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:29.280 I'm crying, and I'm like, and you were like, you 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:31.039 didn't even give me a day. You tough love me 0:01:31.160 --> 0:01:35.039 so fast. Well, first off, I didn't realize us mad 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:37.280 the night, so I had no contacts in Okay, let's 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:39.360 just start there, so I knew I physically was not 0:01:39.440 --> 0:01:44.240 driving your kids to school. Um, but I did say, Hey, 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:47.440 we're gonna have this panic attack right now, and then 0:01:47.440 --> 0:01:49.120 we're gonna get better and we're gonna take your kids 0:01:49.120 --> 0:01:50.600 to school and it's gonna be fine, and then you 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:52.560 can come home and then you can cry for the 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:55.960 next four hours. I did say that, Yeah, and my 0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:57.920 tough loved you. I'm sorry, no, no, but I think 0:01:58.000 --> 0:02:00.400 it was you tough love me. But I think I 0:02:00.520 --> 0:02:03.120 needed it because in that moment, that day was the 0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:05.520 determining factor if I was going to let anxiety rule 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:10.760 my life or not, because I was just like, I've 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:12.880 never done anything by myself. You know, it was always 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:14.959 like Mike and I and it was like we did 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:17.040 this together, and we did that together, and the thought 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:19.600 of doing something by myself gave me so much anxiety 0:02:19.919 --> 0:02:21.120 that I was like, I don't even know if I 0:02:21.120 --> 0:02:24.040 can physically drive my kids, which I know I'm capable, 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:26.680 but when I'm in that state, I don't feel like 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:28.840 I'm capable of doing anything. And I was like, I 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:30.560 don't even know if I can drive them ten minutes, 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:34.440 which is actually like eight minutes their school. But that's 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:37.919 how like messed up I was. But it was because 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:41.440 I felt like I came off I was coming off 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:47.760 of a drug and I had that like such terrible 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:49.720 anxiety that I was just and it was like, and 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:52.680 if you would have in a sense enabled me that day, 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:55.960 because in my mind, I'm like, God, catherinely Case, you see, 0:02:56.040 --> 0:02:58.359 like I'm like having a massive panic attack and I 0:02:58.400 --> 0:02:59.880 need you as my best friend to take my kids 0:02:59.880 --> 0:03:03.120 to school. But it's like, give me a freaking week to, like, 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:06.160 you know, cry about this. Well, I think I know 0:03:06.200 --> 0:03:08.880 you well enough to know that you needed for me 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:12.400 not to enable you right then. I mean, first of all, 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:15.640 I come from, you know, a drug addict, mother. You know, 0:03:15.720 --> 0:03:21.000 I come from the past of addicts, and I've recognized 0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:25.120 that in you. Um, and I know that me enabling 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:27.359 you in that moment, it would have been easy, Yes, 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:29.400 I mean could I physically have driven them. I mean 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:31.359 I would have been squinting, but I could have driven them. 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:36.440 It would have been ugly, But I knew that I 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:38.800 had to give you no choice. I couldn't come over 0:03:38.800 --> 0:03:40.880 every day and take your kids to school. You know, 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:42.520 I can't do it. I have my own three kids. 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:45.320 I can't physically do that for you. Um. We can 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:47.040 hire somebody to do it for you, but you're not 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:49.400 going to feel good about yourself, you know. So it's 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:54.160 I knew you as a mother, you had to you know. 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:55.920 I gave you a few minutes. You had a few 0:03:55.960 --> 0:03:59.080 minutes of your attack or you know, panic attack, I guess, 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:02.640 but um, but you did it, and you came home 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:05.000 and you asked me to stay, and I'll never forget. 0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:06.160 I was like, all right, I'll stay as long as 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:07.480 she needs. You got back and you're like, all right, 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:10.120 you can go, And I was like, you know, sometimes 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:12.640 you just need and and I hate it because it 0:04:12.680 --> 0:04:15.400 comes off kind of I'm not the most. You know, 0:04:15.440 --> 0:04:19.840 I'm not the most loving, touching, nourishing person or not nourishing. 0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:21.919 I ses it's the wrong word, but and I know 0:04:22.000 --> 0:04:24.880 it can come off bad sometimes, but I think sometimes, 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:27.960 especially the way that you can be, I think that 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:31.080 you need it and then that you need the other 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:33.240 stuff too. But yeah, I mean, you know me more 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:36.640 than any of my my friends. And you know, like 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:39.520 in that moment, what I truly needed was that tough love. 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:42.560 And I think because of that, and I almost and 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:46.120 I say this to like, thank you too, because if 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:48.880 you would have done that, like I would have just 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:51.640 stayed in that anxious state. But it was like I 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:54.000 had to pull up my big girl pants on because 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:55.479 and that's what you said. You're like, you're a mom, 0:04:56.000 --> 0:04:57.960 you got this. You've got two kids, you need to 0:04:58.000 --> 0:05:03.000 do this. And and you know, yeah, did I bawl 0:05:03.080 --> 0:05:06.280 my entire way home, like for sure, but you know 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:08.400 I had to also be like, okay, this is it 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:10.680 was just crazy, but it also brought me to that 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:18.880 place of the night that might get served. Um. It's 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:21.200 it was literally like a drug. I was like, I 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:23.640 need you. He can't come in this room because a 0:05:23.720 --> 0:05:27.400 second if he comes in this room, I'm gonna probably 0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:29.440 ask for him back, or I'm gonna beg for this, 0:05:29.560 --> 0:05:32.239 or I'm gonna like or I'm gonna need like because 0:05:32.279 --> 0:05:34.640 I need him. Like it was like literally like like 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:40.080 I need him, and you were you were like my 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:42.240 my person in the living room being like y'all, let 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:44.360 you explain it. It's kind of the bodyguard just kind 0:05:44.360 --> 0:05:48.839 of terrifying. Um no, that's that's exactly right. You. You 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:52.320 and those in that moment had to have someone to 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:57.640 protect you from yourself. And it's not always easy to 0:05:57.640 --> 0:05:59.840 be that person. But I can recognize that and you 0:06:00.200 --> 0:06:02.560 and I think you know. I mean, I literally sat 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:04.640 in the living room while he went up and down 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:07.359 the stairs putting the kids to bed, doing whatever he was, 0:06:07.480 --> 0:06:09.039 and I just sat there. I sat there on my 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:12.919 phone until he asked to come into your room, and 0:06:12.960 --> 0:06:15.360 I said no, I said, please do not go in there. 0:06:15.400 --> 0:06:18.520 You've done enough. Let her be, just let her be. 0:06:19.320 --> 0:06:21.080 And the in the addict of me was like I 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:23.920 wanted him so badly to come in that room and 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:26.720 and hold me and love me and tell me he's 0:06:26.760 --> 0:06:29.680 sorry and like and give me that hit, because that's 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:34.040 what I like, I needed it so bad. It's interesting though, 0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:36.960 but you recognize it now, I do, but you did 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:39.280 on the front end because I was in the room 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:40.480 with you and you said, no, I need you to 0:06:40.520 --> 0:06:42.080 go out there and make sure he does not come 0:06:42.120 --> 0:06:44.960 in here. So you recognize it because I've done it 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:47.000 a million times. Yeah, It's like that's the thing. It's like, 0:06:47.160 --> 0:06:50.599 how good is when someone's addicted to drugs? Like it's 0:06:51.560 --> 0:06:53.800 I wanted that hit, but I also know what that 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:55.680 hit does to me, So it's I'm like, you know, 0:06:55.720 --> 0:06:58.120 it's like that scene and walk the line where they're 0:06:58.120 --> 0:07:01.160 like get out, like you know, the the comes a 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:04.000 good Johnny some more drugs. It's like you were that 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:07.039 person for me, and because I know that I couldn't 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:09.840 I would want to take that hit. I think that 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:14.000 you fully gave me permission this time too to do 0:07:14.040 --> 0:07:17.400 those things, you know, Yeah, And I think this time 0:07:17.400 --> 0:07:19.560 it was like, all right, this is the plan, this 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:21.080 is what I need you to do. And I had 0:07:21.080 --> 0:07:23.160 the permission to do it and I wasn't going to 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:25.440 back down, where there have been times where I haven't 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:27.480 fully had that permission from you and you weren't ready. 0:07:27.520 --> 0:07:30.000 And I'm I'm a firm believer in timing, and I 0:07:30.040 --> 0:07:32.520 think that you know, the timing of this was just 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:34.360 different and it was the right time, and I think 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:37.520 we we all obviously know that. But you gave me 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:40.800 that permission this time. Whether you really wanted him to 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:42.960 come in the room or you really wanted him to 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:45.120 leave or whatever it was, you knew what you really 0:07:45.200 --> 0:07:47.120 deep down needed, and you give me permission to be 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:49.080 that person. So I think that's why it kind of 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:53.080 it worked this time as easy as it wasn't, I know, 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:56.239 But you know, I'd love to get some kind of 0:07:57.600 --> 0:08:01.040 specialists that deals with addiction beca I think being an 0:08:01.080 --> 0:08:05.200 addict and love is like that is so that drug. 0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:08.400 I mean that hit having that and and that um 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:11.480 codependency of the trauma bond, like all of it is 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:15.840 so it can mess you up so bad, even just 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:19.200 in like if you're just dating someone too, have you ever, 0:08:19.480 --> 0:08:22.920 like I mean, I'm not a very codependent person, so 0:08:22.960 --> 0:08:26.640 it's hard. I'm I'm almost too independent, So that's my 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:30.880 fault as that you know, I'm definitely too independent. Um, 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:34.079 but you're definitely a codependent person, which I mean in general, 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:36.680 and I mean it doesn't matter in a relationship and 0:08:36.679 --> 0:08:40.240 a friendship and anything. You're a very codependent person, um, 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:42.240 and that's okay. I just think you have to figure 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:47.320 out now what that looks like and how you enjoy 0:08:47.440 --> 0:08:50.120 your time alone and how you get to, you know, 0:08:50.600 --> 0:08:52.959 really focus on yourself. And I think that that's kind 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:55.960 of the next step that will be hard for you. Mark. 0:08:55.960 --> 0:08:57.200 What do you what do you think and when you 0:08:57.640 --> 0:09:02.719 anything coming up for you? Because I'm know that I 0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:04.400 mean a lot. I'm just trying to think of what 0:09:04.480 --> 0:09:07.800 I can ask that's acceptable and what's not and what's 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:10.680 been First of all, the overwhelming thing I'm thinking is 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:12.800 what a great friend to have. I mean, my gosh. 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:15.120 Everybody should be so lucky to have a Katherine in 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:18.280 their life. I mean, that's amazing that she was there 0:09:18.320 --> 0:09:21.160 for you, knew exactly what you needed in that moment. 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:24.600 That's selfless. So I'm very impressed with that, Katherine. But 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:27.679 also I'm just taken back to that night. So it 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:34.040 was Mike served at your house. Yeah, so it was 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:37.360 and that even like dealing with that. I mean it 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:39.280 felt like a movie, did it not. When we were 0:09:39.280 --> 0:09:41.800 sitting in the lawyer's office trying to figure out like 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:46.040 what how to do it, and because it's like I 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:48.680 couldn't because I mean, honestly, what I wanted was just 0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:50.760 to be like here, you know, here the papers, because 0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:53.000 like he knew I was I think he knew I 0:09:53.040 --> 0:09:56.400 was falling. I mean, but he was out, he was 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:59.360 out of the house. Yeah for how long? Oh it's 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:06.880 a week okay, less than a yeah, and so, um, 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:09.200 it was one of those things where it couldn't it 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:13.760 couldn't be me. By law, you can't serve um. I 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:18.760 couldn't serve him papers. Um. And so then they're like, well, 0:10:18.880 --> 0:10:22.000 Katherine ken but again that's you know, she's she's going 0:10:22.040 --> 0:10:24.200 to have to be around him, Like there's just that 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:26.439 energy too. I don't think she really wanted to take 0:10:26.480 --> 0:10:29.720 that on, right, No, No, I wasn't excited about that. 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:31.480 I would have done it, but I wasn't too excited 0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:35.160 about that in a really terrible position. Yeah. So it's 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:37.320 just like trying to figure that out was tough, and 0:10:37.360 --> 0:10:40.800 I think, you know, and meanwhile, I'm just like sitting 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:42.800 in the lawyer's office like this is like it just 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:44.960 felt like a dream, Like how is this even like 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:50.240 a reality? But um, we he he wanted to put 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:52.040 the kids down. So the only way that it could 0:10:52.040 --> 0:10:54.079 happen is it has to be outside of a house too, 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:57.280 So it's like leaving somewhere. That's another rule. It can't 0:10:57.280 --> 0:11:00.160 be in your home. Yeah right, I'm not so sure 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:01.800 about that. I think we didn't want him in the 0:11:01.840 --> 0:11:05.480 house because I know she had told a story. I 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:07.320 know she had told a story about someone like throwing 0:11:07.360 --> 0:11:10.200 it in the house. Remember, so I think you can. 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:13.079 I don't know, honestly, but we wanted him out of 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:15.960 the house. We wanted the kids down asleep, make sure 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:17.720 that that's all set, and then get him out of 0:11:17.760 --> 0:11:19.760 the house and then give it to him. And why 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:22.239 are you involved in this? Why isn't it an independent 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:24.600 person just going to his place and serving him like 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:28.559 it is? We didn't know where he was staying. There 0:11:28.679 --> 0:11:31.079 was an independent person coming to we Finally it was 0:11:31.120 --> 0:11:33.280 the end of the day, but we wanted it done 0:11:33.320 --> 0:11:36.760 that day. Um, So they were having a hard time 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:40.040 finding someone to serve, but then they finally found someone, 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:42.920 so they were outside. So it was an independent party 0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:47.280 that ended up serving him. Yeah, and that was and 0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:49.520 and I knew what was happening. So meanwhile, I'm in 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:52.920 the room, I know what's about to happen? And I'm wailing, 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:57.559 like bawling, crying because all I wanted to do, honestly 0:11:57.559 --> 0:11:59.760 in that moment was to run out and say never mind, 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:03.400 never mind, never mind, guy go away, like might come here. 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:07.440 I mean, I literally that's what I wanted to do, 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:10.960 because that was the addict in me being like the 0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:14.160 second he gets those papers, it's done, and I can't 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:17.760 go back to that person anymore, Like I can't because 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:19.840 that's for me. It's like whenever I filed, that was 0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:23.160 my I was done. I can't go back from that. 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:25.120 I can How how can you you know? Like for 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:28.000 me that it was just something that was I was 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:34.080 very um careful and never actually filing. So when so 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:36.640 me knowing like he's with the kids upstairs, I'm in 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:39.720 the room, like the anxiety and then like no, but 0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:41.800 I'm like also knowing if I walk out of that 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:44.480 room saying never mind, she's going to probably tackle my ass. 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:48.680 So they would have been you know, so you know 0:12:48.760 --> 0:12:51.800 that's that's why. And he heard me crying not and 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:53.760 I was trying not to cry, but how could you not, 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:55.360 Like I know what's about to happen, and it was 0:12:55.640 --> 0:12:58.720 killing me. So he puts the kids down, he hears 0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:01.760 you crying, he wants to come talk you. Catherine blocks him, 0:13:01.800 --> 0:13:04.679 says absolutely not because she knows the situation. She knows 0:13:04.720 --> 0:13:07.880 that jan is an a a vulnerable place. And you talk 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:12.640 him into leaving. Yeah, he basically was like, um, he 0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:14.160 was He was nice, and he was like, I'm gonna 0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:15.560 I'm gonna go check on her. And I was like, please, 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:18.040 don't You've done enough, Like it's just you know, it's time. 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:20.880 He asked me again and I begged him and I 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:23.600 basically just said, please do not go in there, and 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:27.959 he said, I trust you, and he left and that's 0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:30.160 when he found the server and that's when he gets 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:32.800 started at his truck. Yeah. It makes me want to 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:38.360 vomit just thinking about that. Yes. Wow. Uh. And of 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:40.480 course there's been no communication since because now they're can't 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:44.240 be right, Um, just that we just talked about the kids. 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:49.559 I mean I have texted him, and I mean, be honest, 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:51.400 I've texted him a bunch and been like how you 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:53.280 know why, and like this isn't what I wanted and 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:58.120 it's not fair. But um, I officially signed the paperwork 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:01.760 last week and that was that was like the hardest 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:06.239 of all the days, just like seeing like the signatures 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:09.000 and like and not being what I want and like 0:14:09.040 --> 0:14:11.640 what I wanted for my family. That was that was like, 0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:16.720 that was a very hard day. UM. And I called 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:18.760 him after I signed the papers and I told him 0:14:18.760 --> 0:14:22.280 it was signed, and you know, I expressed to him 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:24.880 like everything that I was, Like. I know I wasn't 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:27.160 a perfect wife, but I would have fought till I 0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:29.960 would have fought forever for this family and for you 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:35.000 and for like you know, and and I just said, 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:37.240 from here on out, I've you know, I'm going to 0:14:37.320 --> 0:14:39.280 stop with the y in the house because now I 0:14:39.320 --> 0:14:46.400 have to move on. But yeah, anyways, can we take 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:48.360 it to say, I really I just want to stay 0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:50.200 real quick that the fact that Davon Franklin's on the 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:51.880 day is perfect because he is going to make you 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:54.440 feel like you can conquer the world. I love that 0:14:54.480 --> 0:15:00.600 guy good because I need a little help with that. Alright, guys, 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:02.480 let's take a break and then, UM, we've got some 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:18.840 too awesome guests coming on. Okay, very excited because we 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:22.480 have Tara Taylor coming on. UM. For more information on Tara, 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:24.640 you can actually go to Tara Taylor dot c A 0:15:24.760 --> 0:15:29.920 and she's an internationally renowned intuitive counselor. First, can we 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:32.880 just talk about because even Catherine, when you know we're 0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:36.720 reading the breakdown or like intuitive counselor, so, how do 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:38.520 you how do you even do that? Like how do 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:42.280 you start with that? Sure? So the definition, you know, 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:45.840 intuitive counselor means above the board. Like, so anything that 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:48.200 has to trust with your intuition, we call it spidy sense. 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:50.760 We call it, uh, you know, your your gut feeling. 0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:53.400 It's really kind of who we are. We're all intuitive being. 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:55.680 Some of us just experience in a different way. So 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:58.520 for example, Jenna, you're a feeler hands down, So another 0:15:58.560 --> 0:16:01.400 word would be EmPATH right, Um, so that's kind of 0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:03.000 how we all work. For me, when I was a 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:05.160 little girl, I just kind of knew things without knowing 0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:07.000 how I knew them, or I would see them, or 0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:09.560 I would experience or hear things, you know, like any 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:12.760 good parent. I got test for bipolars but personality, when 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:14.280 I was a little I would say, well, Papa would 0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:15.960 come and talk to me, and they'd be like, oh, 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:20.200 she's dreaming right, And over time, you know, and then 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:23.320 over time they thought okay, maybe she's onto something because 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.680 I how do I know certain things that were coming 0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:27.040 out of my mouth. Now this is around the age 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:29.440 of seven, so these are just kind of my parents 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:31.880 tell me more stories, and I really remember kind of 0:16:31.880 --> 0:16:34.360 what's going on, because you don't know what's different until 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:37.160 you're told it's different. I didn't think it was different, right, 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:40.040 So but I've dedicated my whole life. So after all 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:42.160 that happened, and this was in the early eighties, I'm Canadian, 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:43.680 as you're gonna hear my accent come out in a 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:47.360 couple of ways. Um, so what happens is and they 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:49.080 came back and they said, well, she's got this ESP 0:16:49.280 --> 0:16:51.440 thing like have a nice life, and that was that 0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:53.840 was it. You know if there wasn't anything at that 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:56.560 time that really understood how I understand like what I 0:16:56.600 --> 0:17:00.000 was experiencing wise experiencing it, you know what this intuition 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:04.159 thing was, ESP. Extra sense perception like all of this, 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:06.600 and back then there just wasn't the same sort of information, 0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:09.119 at least it wasn't for me as a young person 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:12.320 or for my parents. So I dedicate my life now 0:17:12.920 --> 0:17:16.120 twenty plus years of helping people with the highly intuitive 0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:18.600 children or just people with intuition in general, So people 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:21.639 come and see me for sessions because I don't like 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:24.240 to define it as a psychic, a medium, all those 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:26.600 like all of the above, because that's kind of what 0:17:26.760 --> 0:17:29.520 I do. I don't know anything different. But I'm very, 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:31.840 very professional at what I do because to me, it's 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:34.199 about how do I spread love? Like how do I 0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:36.199 help people understand that so they can, you know, have 0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:38.080 the same connection with God the way I do. We 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:41.159 all have the same connection. It's just learning how to 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:43.199 work with it. We all kind of have this like 0:17:43.320 --> 0:17:46.160 light switch that turns off. Well, mine just didn't. So 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:49.560 people call me either extra sensitive or I'm highly intuitive. 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:51.120 To me, I'm just tear. At the end of the day, 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:53.240 I thought everybody was like this, Like I said, but 0:17:53.359 --> 0:17:55.159 I help people kind of get back in touch with 0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:58.600 that and to trust that inner voice. Yeah, I mean 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:01.239 that inner voice is something too, especially because we all 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:05.400 have that gut feeling, that gut intuition. But it's how 0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:08.439 do you, like, if if you're gonna tell me things 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:10.399 right now, like, how would I actually receive that and 0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:12.639 listen to it? Like how do you tell people that 0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:14.520 you work with to be like listen to your gut, 0:18:14.600 --> 0:18:18.840 listen to your intuition. So for me, it's more of 0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:21.320 like we all have a spiritual entourage, divine team, whatever 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:22.720 you want to call it. So when we come into 0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:26.159 this life, we have these loved ones or beings or 0:18:26.160 --> 0:18:28.679 whatever you want to call God, same, divine, all all 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:31.480 the same that guide us through making sure that we're 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:33.479 going to fulfill a certain purpose in this life. We're 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:35.240 all born with a purpose and then we go home. 0:18:35.280 --> 0:18:36.800 When we come back, we do it again and again 0:18:36.840 --> 0:18:39.360 and again. And that's kind of kind of people talk 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:45.240 about source progression or life purpose journey. So in my experience, 0:18:45.440 --> 0:18:48.040 when I go into kind of helping somebody understand their intuition, 0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:50.959 it's more I'll receive this, I'll know something about you 0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:54.040 that how would I know? And so that's validation saying 0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:55.840 I knew that I needed to do that, I knew 0:18:55.840 --> 0:18:57.800 my intuition was saying that. So I'm just kind of 0:18:58.080 --> 0:19:00.240 really crystal clear when things come at me, I don't 0:19:00.320 --> 0:19:02.639 question them. I just let it happen. We all have 0:19:02.680 --> 0:19:04.879 a beautiful ego. They're gonna be wrong. The ego totally 0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:08.680 needs a new publicist, and it's it's misunderstood Okay, it's 0:19:08.760 --> 0:19:13.000 totally misunderstood. The ego is only designed to challenge the 0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:16.040 infinite self when we're on the right path. Does that 0:19:16.080 --> 0:19:18.879 make sense? Can you say it one more time? Yeah, 0:19:19.240 --> 0:19:22.639 the ego was designed to only challenge the infinite self 0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:26.840 when we're on the right path. So how do we 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:29.880 learn how to love if we don't experience hate? How 0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:32.080 do we learn to forgive if we don't have something 0:19:32.119 --> 0:19:34.640 to not forgive? You have like unforgiveness, all of these things, 0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:37.080 there's all of these areas that we go into. What 0:19:37.240 --> 0:19:39.800 is the opposite of that experience? How do I truly 0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:42.680 know I'm divine love if I don't experience the opposite 0:19:42.680 --> 0:19:44.600 of that? To remember who I am and what I'm 0:19:44.600 --> 0:19:47.480 doing here? Right? And this kind of goes into Jenna, 0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:49.200