Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 1: I am pumped about today's episode Mark Eastern. Are you
Speaker 1: guys excited beyond Beyond? Mark? You have not been here
Speaker 1: for a minute. What's going on with you? I have not.
Speaker 1: You kind of left me hanging there for a little bit.
Speaker 1: You know, I have so many different things and I
Speaker 1: want to be here every time, and some weeks it
Speaker 1: just doesn't work out. But I'm here now. We should
Speaker 1: focus on that, all right, focus on the positive, right,
Speaker 1: that's all about the positive. Um. Well, you know who
Speaker 1: is here who hasn't left my side is my best
Speaker 1: friend Katherine. Hey, guys, Hi Catherine? Are you so? I
Speaker 1: don't know if you listen to last week's episode. Did
Speaker 1: you listen to it? No? You didn't. I kind of
Speaker 1: mentioned you. I'm worried. That's why I haven't listened yet. No.
Speaker 1: I I mentioned you because I told the story about
Speaker 1: the night after I filed for divorce and I had
Speaker 1: to take the kids to school and you were in
Speaker 1: the kitchen and I came out and I was having
Speaker 1: like a full blown panic attack and I was just like,
Speaker 1: I can't take the kids to school, and you were
Speaker 1: like and I was waiting for you to say I'll
Speaker 1: take them. I know, I know you were, and you
Speaker 1: didn't say it, and I'm like, why isn't she saying
Speaker 1: she'll take the kids? I can't you see him having
Speaker 1: a panic attack on the floor and I'm sweating and
Speaker 1: I'm crying, and I'm like, and you were like, you
Speaker 1: didn't even give me a day. You tough love me
Speaker 1: so fast. Well, first off, I didn't realize us mad
Speaker 1: the night, so I had no contacts in Okay, let's
Speaker 1: just start there, so I knew I physically was not
Speaker 1: driving your kids to school. Um, but I did say, Hey,
Speaker 1: we're gonna have this panic attack right now, and then
Speaker 1: we're gonna get better and we're gonna take your kids
Speaker 1: to school and it's gonna be fine, and then you
Speaker 1: can come home and then you can cry for the
Speaker 1: next four hours. I did say that, Yeah, and my
Speaker 1: tough loved you. I'm sorry, no, no, but I think
Speaker 1: it was you tough love me. But I think I
Speaker 1: needed it because in that moment, that day was the
Speaker 1: determining factor if I was going to let anxiety rule
Speaker 1: my life or not, because I was just like, I've
Speaker 1: never done anything by myself. You know, it was always
Speaker 1: like Mike and I and it was like we did
Speaker 1: this together, and we did that together, and the thought
Speaker 1: of doing something by myself gave me so much anxiety
Speaker 1: that I was like, I don't even know if I
Speaker 1: can physically drive my kids, which I know I'm capable,
Speaker 1: but when I'm in that state, I don't feel like
Speaker 1: I'm capable of doing anything. And I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't even know if I can drive them ten minutes,
Speaker 1: which is actually like eight minutes their school. But that's
Speaker 1: how like messed up I was. But it was because
Speaker 1: I felt like I came off I was coming off
Speaker 1: of a drug and I had that like such terrible
Speaker 1: anxiety that I was just and it was like, and
Speaker 1: if you would have in a sense enabled me that day,
Speaker 1: because in my mind, I'm like, God, catherinely Case, you see,
Speaker 1: like I'm like having a massive panic attack and I
Speaker 1: need you as my best friend to take my kids
Speaker 1: to school. But it's like, give me a freaking week to, like,
Speaker 1: you know, cry about this. Well, I think I know
Speaker 1: you well enough to know that you needed for me
Speaker 1: not to enable you right then. I mean, first of all,
Speaker 1: I come from, you know, a drug addict, mother. You know,
Speaker 1: I come from the past of addicts, and I've recognized
Speaker 1: that in you. Um, and I know that me enabling
Speaker 1: you in that moment, it would have been easy, Yes,
Speaker 1: I mean could I physically have driven them. I mean
Speaker 1: I would have been squinting, but I could have driven them.
Speaker 1: It would have been ugly, But I knew that I
Speaker 1: had to give you no choice. I couldn't come over
Speaker 1: every day and take your kids to school. You know,
Speaker 1: I can't do it. I have my own three kids.
Speaker 1: I can't physically do that for you. Um. We can
Speaker 1: hire somebody to do it for you, but you're not
Speaker 1: going to feel good about yourself, you know. So it's
Speaker 1: I knew you as a mother, you had to you know.
Speaker 1: I gave you a few minutes. You had a few
Speaker 1: minutes of your attack or you know, panic attack, I guess,
Speaker 1: but um, but you did it, and you came home
Speaker 1: and you asked me to stay, and I'll never forget.
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, I'll stay as long as
Speaker 1: she needs. You got back and you're like, all right,
Speaker 1: you can go, And I was like, you know, sometimes
Speaker 1: you just need and and I hate it because it
Speaker 1: comes off kind of I'm not the most. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm not the most loving, touching, nourishing person or not nourishing.
Speaker 1: I ses it's the wrong word, but and I know
Speaker 1: it can come off bad sometimes, but I think sometimes,
Speaker 1: especially the way that you can be, I think that
Speaker 1: you need it and then that you need the other
Speaker 1: stuff too. But yeah, I mean, you know me more
Speaker 1: than any of my my friends. And you know, like
Speaker 1: in that moment, what I truly needed was that tough love.
Speaker 1: And I think because of that, and I almost and
Speaker 1: I say this to like, thank you too, because if
Speaker 1: you would have done that, like I would have just
Speaker 1: stayed in that anxious state. But it was like I
Speaker 1: had to pull up my big girl pants on because
Speaker 1: and that's what you said. You're like, you're a mom,
Speaker 1: you got this. You've got two kids, you need to
Speaker 1: do this. And and you know, yeah, did I bawl
Speaker 1: my entire way home, like for sure, but you know
Speaker 1: I had to also be like, okay, this is it
Speaker 1: was just crazy, but it also brought me to that
Speaker 1: place of the night that might get served. Um. It's
Speaker 1: it was literally like a drug. I was like, I
Speaker 1: need you. He can't come in this room because a
Speaker 1: second if he comes in this room, I'm gonna probably
Speaker 1: ask for him back, or I'm gonna beg for this,
Speaker 1: or I'm gonna like or I'm gonna need like because
Speaker 1: I need him. Like it was like literally like like
Speaker 1: I need him, and you were you were like my
Speaker 1: my person in the living room being like y'all, let
Speaker 1: you explain it. It's kind of the bodyguard just kind
Speaker 1: of terrifying. Um no, that's that's exactly right. You. You
Speaker 1: and those in that moment had to have someone to
Speaker 1: protect you from yourself. And it's not always easy to
Speaker 1: be that person. But I can recognize that and you
Speaker 1: and I think you know. I mean, I literally sat
Speaker 1: in the living room while he went up and down
Speaker 1: the stairs putting the kids to bed, doing whatever he was,
Speaker 1: and I just sat there. I sat there on my
Speaker 1: phone until he asked to come into your room, and
Speaker 1: I said no, I said, please do not go in there.
Speaker 1: You've done enough. Let her be, just let her be.
Speaker 1: And the in the addict of me was like I
Speaker 1: wanted him so badly to come in that room and
Speaker 1: and hold me and love me and tell me he's
Speaker 1: sorry and like and give me that hit, because that's
Speaker 1: what I like, I needed it so bad. It's interesting though,
Speaker 1: but you recognize it now, I do, but you did
Speaker 1: on the front end because I was in the room
Speaker 1: with you and you said, no, I need you to
Speaker 1: go out there and make sure he does not come
Speaker 1: in here. So you recognize it because I've done it
Speaker 1: a million times. Yeah, It's like that's the thing. It's like,
Speaker 1: how good is when someone's addicted to drugs? Like it's
Speaker 1: I wanted that hit, but I also know what that
Speaker 1: hit does to me, So it's I'm like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's like that scene and walk the line where they're
Speaker 1: like get out, like you know, the the comes a
Speaker 1: good Johnny some more drugs. It's like you were that
Speaker 1: person for me, and because I know that I couldn't
Speaker 1: I would want to take that hit. I think that
Speaker 1: you fully gave me permission this time too to do
Speaker 1: those things, you know, Yeah, And I think this time
Speaker 1: it was like, all right, this is the plan, this
Speaker 1: is what I need you to do. And I had
Speaker 1: the permission to do it and I wasn't going to
Speaker 1: back down, where there have been times where I haven't
Speaker 1: fully had that permission from you and you weren't ready.
Speaker 1: And I'm I'm a firm believer in timing, and I
Speaker 1: think that you know, the timing of this was just
Speaker 1: different and it was the right time, and I think
Speaker 1: we we all obviously know that. But you gave me
Speaker 1: that permission this time. Whether you really wanted him to
Speaker 1: come in the room or you really wanted him to
Speaker 1: leave or whatever it was, you knew what you really
Speaker 1: deep down needed, and you give me permission to be
Speaker 1: that person. So I think that's why it kind of
Speaker 1: it worked this time as easy as it wasn't, I know,
Speaker 1: But you know, I'd love to get some kind of
Speaker 1: specialists that deals with addiction beca I think being an
Speaker 1: addict and love is like that is so that drug.
Speaker 1: I mean that hit having that and and that um
Speaker 1: codependency of the trauma bond, like all of it is
Speaker 1: so it can mess you up so bad, even just
Speaker 1: in like if you're just dating someone too, have you ever,
Speaker 1: like I mean, I'm not a very codependent person, so
Speaker 1: it's hard. I'm I'm almost too independent, So that's my
Speaker 1: fault as that you know, I'm definitely too independent. Um,
Speaker 1: but you're definitely a codependent person, which I mean in general,
Speaker 1: and I mean it doesn't matter in a relationship and
Speaker 1: a friendship and anything. You're a very codependent person, um,
Speaker 1: and that's okay. I just think you have to figure
Speaker 1: out now what that looks like and how you enjoy
Speaker 1: your time alone and how you get to, you know,
Speaker 1: really focus on yourself. And I think that that's kind
Speaker 1: of the next step that will be hard for you. Mark.
Speaker 1: What do you what do you think and when you
Speaker 1: anything coming up for you? Because I'm know that I
Speaker 1: mean a lot. I'm just trying to think of what
Speaker 1: I can ask that's acceptable and what's not and what's
Speaker 1: been First of all, the overwhelming thing I'm thinking is
Speaker 1: what a great friend to have. I mean, my gosh.
Speaker 1: Everybody should be so lucky to have a Katherine in
Speaker 1: their life. I mean, that's amazing that she was there
Speaker 1: for you, knew exactly what you needed in that moment.
Speaker 1: That's selfless. So I'm very impressed with that, Katherine. But
Speaker 1: also I'm just taken back to that night. So it
Speaker 1: was Mike served at your house. Yeah, so it was
Speaker 1: and that even like dealing with that. I mean it
Speaker 1: felt like a movie, did it not. When we were
Speaker 1: sitting in the lawyer's office trying to figure out like
Speaker 1: what how to do it, and because it's like I
Speaker 1: couldn't because I mean, honestly, what I wanted was just
Speaker 1: to be like here, you know, here the papers, because
Speaker 1: like he knew I was I think he knew I
Speaker 1: was falling. I mean, but he was out, he was
Speaker 1: out of the house. Yeah for how long? Oh it's
Speaker 1: a week okay, less than a yeah, and so, um,
Speaker 1: it was one of those things where it couldn't it
Speaker 1: couldn't be me. By law, you can't serve um. I
Speaker 1: couldn't serve him papers. Um. And so then they're like, well,
Speaker 1: Katherine ken but again that's you know, she's she's going
Speaker 1: to have to be around him, Like there's just that
Speaker 1: energy too. I don't think she really wanted to take
Speaker 1: that on, right, No, No, I wasn't excited about that.
Speaker 1: I would have done it, but I wasn't too excited
Speaker 1: about that in a really terrible position. Yeah. So it's
Speaker 1: just like trying to figure that out was tough, and
Speaker 1: I think, you know, and meanwhile, I'm just like sitting
Speaker 1: in the lawyer's office like this is like it just
Speaker 1: felt like a dream, Like how is this even like
Speaker 1: a reality? But um, we he he wanted to put
Speaker 1: the kids down. So the only way that it could
Speaker 1: happen is it has to be outside of a house too,
Speaker 1: So it's like leaving somewhere. That's another rule. It can't
Speaker 1: be in your home. Yeah right, I'm not so sure
Speaker 1: about that. I think we didn't want him in the
Speaker 1: house because I know she had told a story. I
Speaker 1: know she had told a story about someone like throwing
Speaker 1: it in the house. Remember, so I think you can.
Speaker 1: I don't know, honestly, but we wanted him out of
Speaker 1: the house. We wanted the kids down asleep, make sure
Speaker 1: that that's all set, and then get him out of
Speaker 1: the house and then give it to him. And why
Speaker 1: are you involved in this? Why isn't it an independent
Speaker 1: person just going to his place and serving him like
Speaker 1: it is? We didn't know where he was staying. There
Speaker 1: was an independent person coming to we Finally it was
Speaker 1: the end of the day, but we wanted it done
Speaker 1: that day. Um, So they were having a hard time
Speaker 1: finding someone to serve, but then they finally found someone,
Speaker 1: so they were outside. So it was an independent party
Speaker 1: that ended up serving him. Yeah, and that was and
Speaker 1: and I knew what was happening. So meanwhile, I'm in
Speaker 1: the room, I know what's about to happen? And I'm wailing,
Speaker 1: like bawling, crying because all I wanted to do, honestly
Speaker 1: in that moment was to run out and say never mind,
Speaker 1: never mind, never mind, guy go away, like might come here.
Speaker 1: I mean, I literally that's what I wanted to do,
Speaker 1: because that was the addict in me being like the
Speaker 1: second he gets those papers, it's done, and I can't
Speaker 1: go back to that person anymore, Like I can't because
Speaker 1: that's for me. It's like whenever I filed, that was
Speaker 1: my I was done. I can't go back from that.
Speaker 1: I can How how can you you know? Like for
Speaker 1: me that it was just something that was I was
Speaker 1: very um careful and never actually filing. So when so
Speaker 1: me knowing like he's with the kids upstairs, I'm in
Speaker 1: the room, like the anxiety and then like no, but
Speaker 1: I'm like also knowing if I walk out of that
Speaker 1: room saying never mind, she's going to probably tackle my ass.
Speaker 1: So they would have been you know, so you know
Speaker 1: that's that's why. And he heard me crying not and
Speaker 1: I was trying not to cry, but how could you not,
Speaker 1: Like I know what's about to happen, and it was
Speaker 1: killing me. So he puts the kids down, he hears
Speaker 1: you crying, he wants to come talk you. Catherine blocks him,
Speaker 1: says absolutely not because she knows the situation. She knows
Speaker 1: that jan is an a a vulnerable place. And you talk
Speaker 1: him into leaving. Yeah, he basically was like, um, he
Speaker 1: was He was nice, and he was like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go check on her. And I was like, please,
Speaker 1: don't You've done enough, Like it's just you know, it's time.
Speaker 1: He asked me again and I begged him and I
Speaker 1: basically just said, please do not go in there, and
Speaker 1: he said, I trust you, and he left and that's
Speaker 1: when he found the server and that's when he gets
Speaker 1: started at his truck. Yeah. It makes me want to
Speaker 1: vomit just thinking about that. Yes. Wow. Uh. And of
Speaker 1: course there's been no communication since because now they're can't
Speaker 1: be right, Um, just that we just talked about the kids.
Speaker 1: I mean I have texted him, and I mean, be honest,
Speaker 1: I've texted him a bunch and been like how you
Speaker 1: know why, and like this isn't what I wanted and
Speaker 1: it's not fair. But um, I officially signed the paperwork
Speaker 1: last week and that was that was like the hardest
Speaker 1: of all the days, just like seeing like the signatures
Speaker 1: and like and not being what I want and like
Speaker 1: what I wanted for my family. That was that was like,
Speaker 1: that was a very hard day. UM. And I called
Speaker 1: him after I signed the papers and I told him
Speaker 1: it was signed, and you know, I expressed to him
Speaker 1: like everything that I was, Like. I know I wasn't
Speaker 1: a perfect wife, but I would have fought till I
Speaker 1: would have fought forever for this family and for you
Speaker 1: and for like you know, and and I just said,
Speaker 1: from here on out, I've you know, I'm going to
Speaker 1: stop with the y in the house because now I
Speaker 1: have to move on. But yeah, anyways, can we take
Speaker 1: it to say, I really I just want to stay
Speaker 1: real quick that the fact that Davon Franklin's on the
Speaker 1: day is perfect because he is going to make you
Speaker 1: feel like you can conquer the world. I love that
Speaker 1: guy good because I need a little help with that. Alright, guys,
Speaker 1: let's take a break and then, UM, we've got some
Speaker 1: too awesome guests coming on. Okay, very excited because we
Speaker 1: have Tara Taylor coming on. UM. For more information on Tara,
Speaker 1: you can actually go to Tara Taylor dot c A
Speaker 1: and she's an internationally renowned intuitive counselor. First, can we
Speaker 1: just talk about because even Catherine, when you know we're
Speaker 1: reading the breakdown or like intuitive counselor, so, how do
Speaker 1: you how do you even do that? Like how do
Speaker 1: you start with that? Sure? So the definition, you know,
Speaker 1: intuitive counselor means above the board. Like, so anything that
Speaker 1: has to trust with your intuition, we call it spidy sense.
Speaker 1: We call it, uh, you know, your your gut feeling.
Speaker 1: It's really kind of who we are. We're all intuitive being.
Speaker 1: Some of us just experience in a different way. So
Speaker 1: for example, Jenna, you're a feeler hands down, So another
Speaker 1: word would be EmPATH right, Um, so that's kind of
Speaker 1: how we all work. For me, when I was a
Speaker 1: little girl, I just kind of knew things without knowing
Speaker 1: how I knew them, or I would see them, or
Speaker 1: I would experience or hear things, you know, like any
Speaker 1: good parent. I got test for bipolars but personality, when
Speaker 1: I was a little I would say, well, Papa would
Speaker 1: come and talk to me, and they'd be like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's dreaming right, And over time, you know, and then
Speaker 1: over time they thought okay, maybe she's onto something because
Speaker 1: I how do I know certain things that were coming
Speaker 1: out of my mouth. Now this is around the age
Speaker 1: of seven, so these are just kind of my parents
Speaker 1: tell me more stories, and I really remember kind of
Speaker 1: what's going on, because you don't know what's different until
Speaker 1: you're told it's different. I didn't think it was different, right,
Speaker 1: So but I've dedicated my whole life. So after all
Speaker 1: that happened, and this was in the early eighties, I'm Canadian,
Speaker 1: as you're gonna hear my accent come out in a
Speaker 1: couple of ways. Um, so what happens is and they
Speaker 1: came back and they said, well, she's got this ESP
Speaker 1: thing like have a nice life, and that was that
Speaker 1: was it. You know if there wasn't anything at that
Speaker 1: time that really understood how I understand like what I
Speaker 1: was experiencing wise experiencing it, you know what this intuition
Speaker 1: thing was, ESP. Extra sense perception like all of this,
Speaker 1: and back then there just wasn't the same sort of information,
Speaker 1: at least it wasn't for me as a young person
Speaker 1: or for my parents. So I dedicate my life now
Speaker 1: twenty plus years of helping people with the highly intuitive
Speaker 1: children or just people with intuition in general, So people
Speaker 1: come and see me for sessions because I don't like
Speaker 1: to define it as a psychic, a medium, all those
Speaker 1: like all of the above, because that's kind of what
Speaker 1: I do. I don't know anything different. But I'm very,
Speaker 1: very professional at what I do because to me, it's
Speaker 1: about how do I spread love? Like how do I
Speaker 1: help people understand that so they can, you know, have
Speaker 1: the same connection with God the way I do. We
Speaker 1: all have the same connection. It's just learning how to
Speaker 1: work with it. We all kind of have this like
Speaker 1: light switch that turns off. Well, mine just didn't. So
Speaker 1: people call me either extra sensitive or I'm highly intuitive.
Speaker 1: To me, I'm just tear. At the end of the day,
Speaker 1: I thought everybody was like this, Like I said, but
Speaker 1: I help people kind of get back in touch with
Speaker 1: that and to trust that inner voice. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: that inner voice is something too, especially because we all
Speaker 1: have that gut feeling, that gut intuition. But it's how
Speaker 1: do you, like, if if you're gonna tell me things
Speaker 1: right now, like, how would I actually receive that and
Speaker 1: listen to it? Like how do you tell people that
Speaker 1: you work with to be like listen to your gut,
Speaker 1: listen to your intuition. So for me, it's more of
Speaker 1: like we all have a spiritual entourage, divine team, whatever
Speaker 1: you want to call it. So when we come into
Speaker 1: this life, we have these loved ones or beings or
Speaker 1: whatever you want to call God, same, divine, all all
Speaker 1: the same that guide us through making sure that we're
Speaker 1: going to fulfill a certain purpose in this life. We're
Speaker 1: all born with a purpose and then we go home.
Speaker 1: When we come back, we do it again and again
Speaker 1: and again. And that's kind of kind of people talk
Speaker 1: about source progression or life purpose journey. So in my experience,
Speaker 1: when I go into kind of helping somebody understand their intuition,
Speaker 1: it's more I'll receive this, I'll know something about you
Speaker 1: that how would I know? And so that's validation saying
Speaker 1: I knew that I needed to do that, I knew
Speaker 1: my intuition was saying that. So I'm just kind of
Speaker 1: really crystal clear when things come at me, I don't
Speaker 1: question them. I just let it happen. We all have
Speaker 1: a beautiful ego. They're gonna be wrong. The ego totally
Speaker 1: needs a new publicist, and it's it's misunderstood Okay, it's
Speaker 1: totally misunderstood. The ego is only designed to challenge the
Speaker 1: infinite self when we're on the right path. Does that
Speaker 1: make sense? Can you say it one more time? Yeah,
Speaker 1: the ego was designed to only challenge the infinite self
Speaker 1: when we're on the right path. So how do we
Speaker 1: learn how to love if we don't experience hate? How
Speaker 1: do we learn to forgive if we don't have something
Speaker 1: to not forgive? You have like unforgiveness, all of these things,
Speaker 1: there's all of these areas that we go into. What
Speaker 1: is the opposite of that experience? How do I truly
Speaker 1: know I'm divine love if I don't experience the opposite
Speaker 1: of that? To remember who I am and what I'm
Speaker 1: doing here? Right? And this kind of goes into Jenna,
Speaker 1: I mean, things that have been going on with you
Speaker 1: and just intuitively your knowing no way back in the
Speaker 1: day and so you do. We talk and I see
Speaker 1: lots of people kind of coming and going in my
Speaker 1: body just doesn't hold onto those sort of things, like
Speaker 1: I always remember a beautiful energy. I don't remember what
Speaker 1: we talked about because I focus on the task at hammer,
Speaker 1: what's happening in that moment, I just let myself be
Speaker 1: in the moment and let come out what's supposed to
Speaker 1: come out. Again, I don't question what comes out. Um.
Speaker 1: I think kind of the journey that you're on right
Speaker 1: now is going into another phase, like you will woken.
Speaker 1: You will woken to this new um knowing, nous or
Speaker 1: intuitiveness that's been hitting you for quite some time. But
Speaker 1: there was a fear really jumping into that because there
Speaker 1: are certain things that stem from your childhood the way
Speaker 1: that you would view relationships, and it started with your parents, Honey,
Speaker 1: it started with your dad and trying to find home
Speaker 1: and trying to find home with um, certain men in
Speaker 1: your life, and there's been certain things that have been
Speaker 1: repetitive in your life that it's kind of like your
Speaker 1: need to be a family or base a family or
Speaker 1: having this family let's say agenda has now come up
Speaker 1: because you realize that you're already born complete. No one
Speaker 1: completes you, okay, like your primary relationship is with God
Speaker 1: as as as like clear as I could get with that.
Speaker 1: We look from the time we're born, we're kind of
Speaker 1: taught this fairy tale let someone else come com pleats us,
Speaker 1: that something outside of us completes us. Everything is within.
Speaker 1: There's a teaching that goes like this, like Jesus would
Speaker 1: say things like, and to his disciples, you know, do
Speaker 1: not build temples. God lives here and he would point
Speaker 1: out his chest or you could look at you know,
Speaker 1: stayings by Buddha. Budda would say things like in the text,
Speaker 1: everything outside of ourselves as ignorance. Everything is within. So
Speaker 1: every set of religion tradition talks about the sense that
Speaker 1: we are all connected to the same place. We are
Speaker 1: all kind of put into this spighty sense of knowing
Speaker 1: our truth. So and we all have this kind of
Speaker 1: pattern or something that we're here to learn. And Jenny,
Speaker 1: you're kind of stepping into this knowing nous that was
Speaker 1: always there. There's just part of you that didn't want
Speaker 1: to trust it because there was a part of you
Speaker 1: that may have wanted something, but it was in love
Speaker 1: with the idea of somebody not really who they were.
Speaker 1: Does that make sense? Okay? So intuitively, you know, I
Speaker 1: could rhyme off a bunch of things, say like I
Speaker 1: know that you're meant to go into the different days,
Speaker 1: Like I know you're meant to have children, I know
Speaker 1: that you're gonna get that person that comes to the
Speaker 1: same values as you do, and and all that sort
Speaker 1: of stuff. I know that all of those things are
Speaker 1: going to work out for you because you're stepping into
Speaker 1: your greatness. Now, you're listening to your soul. There was
Speaker 1: a time before where you weren't listening. You were looking
Speaker 1: outside of yourself for those answers and looking for something
Speaker 1: or someone to complete that part of yourself that felt
Speaker 1: that need to um feel this completeness. But that completeness
Speaker 1: was always there, and you're finally seeing that light within
Speaker 1: yourself to step into that. That makes sense. Yeah, um,
Speaker 1: so this is what you know. I kind of want
Speaker 1: to share with you is that intuitively, what you're being
Speaker 1: called to task to you right now is to find
Speaker 1: forgiveness for things that you may not understand. M is
Speaker 1: to look at somebody and say, I can have love
Speaker 1: for you, but I don't need to love your behavior
Speaker 1: because something would have brought you together with all let's say,
Speaker 1: all of our past relationships and always like you would
Speaker 1: have loved for that person. They may hurt you, they
Speaker 1: may do things to spite you, they may um disrespect you,
Speaker 1: but there was a time where you were in the uh,
Speaker 1: you share dinners together, you had these experiences, you have children,
Speaker 1: whatever that is, there was a time. So somebody does
Speaker 1: something that doesn't stand up to the same value that
Speaker 1: you have the ideas to have compassion for it. But
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean you have to condone the behavior, nor
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that you need to stay in something that
Speaker 1: doesn't vibrate at the same alignment that you're at. M
Speaker 1: You either grow together or you grow apart. There's no
Speaker 1: in between. So sometimes we just have to say tata
Speaker 1: for now. We'll continue all this journey, just not the
Speaker 1: way we were doing it before. And that's really kind
Speaker 1: of where you're at is learning that you were complete
Speaker 1: your whole and now it's allowing to see that you
Speaker 1: can have somebody in your life but not looking for
Speaker 1: something to complete you in it. That makes sense then,
Speaker 1: you know, and God is going to bring you into that.
Speaker 1: You know, this is this is kind of the awakening
Speaker 1: that has been bestowed on you. Beautifully is coming into
Speaker 1: your own shining your light. You have all these amazing
Speaker 1: things coming up for you. Um, I can just it's
Speaker 1: kind of like I use this example like I see
Speaker 1: it's almost like I watch people's movies and things come
Speaker 1: up at me and I can really see how things
Speaker 1: are going to pan out, Like I feel like there's
Speaker 1: something important. Um, God loving honey. I don't listen to
Speaker 1: your music, but you must be a singer, because I
Speaker 1: just keep seeing all this music stuff that's coming up
Speaker 1: that you're supposed to be going into. Like some of
Speaker 1: us have to shed our skins to go to the
Speaker 1: next level, or think of like a snake shedding its skin.
Speaker 1: And there's just certain things that we're holding you back.
Speaker 1: And sometimes it is a relationship, sometimes it's a friendship.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's our own personal things that we do in
Speaker 1: our self sabotaging. So this was something that was distracting
Speaker 1: you from not allowing you to fulfill your destiny here,
Speaker 1: so that had to be let go to jump into
Speaker 1: the next thing. So everything is a series of beginnings
Speaker 1: and endings, beginnings and endings in our whole life. And
Speaker 1: that's the journey that you're starting to see. And when
Speaker 1: you pull back, which I know intuitably you've been doing,
Speaker 1: to really see like what's the issue here? What has
Speaker 1: actually gone on? You know, I have accomplished what I
Speaker 1: wanted to do out of this relationship I still have
Speaker 1: love for at that certain person, but I no longer
Speaker 1: want to continue down this path because it doesn't make
Speaker 1: me feel connected in the way that I want to feel.
Speaker 1: I felt more alone in this than I felt connected.
Speaker 1: So that tells you something, and that means when we
Speaker 1: feel alone, it means we're not connected to our God's center.
Speaker 1: So we're never really truly alone. We have the angels
Speaker 1: God to all this beautiful energy around us all the time.
Speaker 1: The sense of loneliness really just means that you're not
Speaker 1: in touch inside. You're not in tuning to your own
Speaker 1: soul's growth and your soul's voice. That's all that that is.
Speaker 1: So no one can really hurt you if you allow
Speaker 1: it to. But when you realize you're already complete and
Speaker 1: you're already in that place, you'll just guide through that
Speaker 1: and you'll look at that person with compassion and love
Speaker 1: and just say, I just don't choose to love that behavior,
Speaker 1: and I choose to move on this path. If you
Speaker 1: want to meet me with my value is great. If
Speaker 1: you don't, I have to let it go. That's sometimes
Speaker 1: is a way of truly loving somebody when we let
Speaker 1: go of conditions and how we want someone to be
Speaker 1: versus what they really are. That makes sense. So you know,
Speaker 1: forgiveness isn't something that happens overnight, and you can forgive
Speaker 1: something within yourself or someone within yourself. Um, but you've
Speaker 1: been on this journey for so long that I'm sure
Speaker 1: this has been a breath of fresh air kind of
Speaker 1: coming into the decision that you needed to do. And
Speaker 1: anybody can look afar and say, you know, this person
Speaker 1: should do that or could have done that, It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: Everybody has their own journey and they need to learn
Speaker 1: on their own and their epiphanies will come, and all
Speaker 1: we need to do is hold the space for everybody
Speaker 1: so they learn on their own path. You know, to
Speaker 1: judge really come from a place of being judgmental. To
Speaker 1: really love is to really be present and to support
Speaker 1: whatever journey that person is on, no matter if we
Speaker 1: like it or not. Right, you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It's like, I don't think you've ever liked my Well,
Speaker 1: it's been a hard one to learn and to sit
Speaker 1: back and watch. But you know, I just said earlier,
Speaker 1: Terra that I very much believe in timing, and I
Speaker 1: think that the timing for this for her it had
Speaker 1: to be this time. It couldn't have been two times
Speaker 1: before when I thought that she should have been done,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean it wasn't It wasn't her path
Speaker 1: and it wasn't her timing. And I think that's yeah,
Speaker 1: it lines up really well. Yeah, and that's Janda, that's
Speaker 1: what you said like a couple of years ago. I
Speaker 1: guess when we had spoken. We've come full circle, which
Speaker 1: a lot of people come back to seeing me, which
Speaker 1: is great. So I'm happy because I want to spread
Speaker 1: love that way, you know, and teach people to empower
Speaker 1: themselves and trusting their intuition. But that was it. It's like,
Speaker 1: no matter what message was delivered at that time, it
Speaker 1: served a purpose to sit there and when you were
Speaker 1: ready to listen and receive it, it was available to you.
Speaker 1: Nothing's lost in the eyes of God, honey, it's just
Speaker 1: the journey we have to walk. Like, how do we
Speaker 1: know what we want when we don't experience what we
Speaker 1: don't want? Right? So everything is a blessing no matter
Speaker 1: what it is, you know, especially this experience now that
Speaker 1: you've just been through energetically has taught you that there's
Speaker 1: this place where you can look at somebody and thank
Speaker 1: them from reminding you to love yourself. Like what if
Speaker 1: this whole experience was exactly the way it was, so
Speaker 1: it reminded you to step into your power. So instead
Speaker 1: of saying I dislike you, I hate you, I just
Speaker 1: despise anything to say thank you for reminding me of
Speaker 1: who I am, the love that I hold, and my
Speaker 1: gone set through that I'm supposed to do here in
Speaker 1: this life. I love that. Wasn't that the blessing? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I love that? Because I have had so much like
Speaker 1: hate and like anger for like ruining the family and
Speaker 1: stuff and what I wanted, and because, like you said,
Speaker 1: like you know, I grew up in a divorce family,
Speaker 1: so I always said, like when I have kids, I
Speaker 1: will I will not let that happen. And so that's
Speaker 1: been the biggest disappointment for me that I feel like
Speaker 1: I failed them. And but but to to your point,
Speaker 1: like what you just said, like one day I hope
Speaker 1: to be like thank you, like because I'll have found
Speaker 1: my worth even though it was you know that was
Speaker 1: that person was trying to take it, you know, but
Speaker 1: it really wasn't like that they had their own issues
Speaker 1: with their own self worth too. So it's not so.
Speaker 1: I just I would love to be able to have
Speaker 1: that one day, to just be like thankful for it.
Speaker 1: And you will, because we'll come full circle again at
Speaker 1: some point in our lives and we'll have this conversation
Speaker 1: like remember when you told me I'll be able to
Speaker 1: look at him with love and forgiveness. I'm like, I'm there.
Speaker 1: It doesn't bother. I said, I told you, honey, you
Speaker 1: will get there right now. You have to grieve. A
Speaker 1: loss is a loss is a loss. It's all the same,
Speaker 1: a death, a relationship. So you just have to grieve
Speaker 1: all those moments. It's okay to be angry. You know.
Speaker 1: When we're little, girls were told, you know, be a
Speaker 1: good girl, be smile. Girls don't are allowed to get angry.
Speaker 1: You know. There's all these kind of fixed beliefs that
Speaker 1: are bestowed upon us. But it's okay to be angry.
Speaker 1: So to say like, I don't like your behavior. I've
Speaker 1: got love for that, but I don't like that, and
Speaker 1: I need space right now and I need my boundaries
Speaker 1: because I need to heal through this. That's more powerful,
Speaker 1: and that's being honest about how your emotions are. You
Speaker 1: saying like I can still you know, like things about you,
Speaker 1: but I don't have to like this, that and everything
Speaker 1: else about you. So it's it's really about you set
Speaker 1: the boundaries, like no one can take anything from you.
Speaker 1: No one can really hurt you unless you allow them to, right.
Speaker 1: So that's really where it goes, is that you are
Speaker 1: really in that place. So any time that you feel
Speaker 1: that you're being lonely or or separated out, or that
Speaker 1: anger starts, to sit be with it and be like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to express this anger. I'm gonna grab my
Speaker 1: junk journal, I'm gonna start writing, and it can be
Speaker 1: the most culpful words you want to use. No one's
Speaker 1: ever going but read it. No one's gonna look at us.
Speaker 1: Nobody's business. Okay, you can call them all the names
Speaker 1: under the sun or whoever that is you want to
Speaker 1: direct that energy to. Then rip it up and throw
Speaker 1: it out. Just because you're feeling anchor doesn't mean it's
Speaker 1: your truth and doesn't mean who you really are. It's
Speaker 1: just a it's an emotion. We're emotional beings. I'm sure
Speaker 1: you've heard this world saying that goes, you know where
Speaker 1: these spiritual beings having emotional moments on earth, like that's
Speaker 1: really what we are, and we're fully present in our
Speaker 1: ego and all of that's there. It's like we are
Speaker 1: meant to experience this fully and holy honey, and it's
Speaker 1: gonna hurt sometimes and it's gonna be uncomfortable. There's this
Speaker 1: little kind of secret that no one really talks about,
Speaker 1: and I love really kind of bringing it up. Is
Speaker 1: that our soulmate relationships are the ones that are going
Speaker 1: to challenge us the most to grow. They're not easy.
Speaker 1: It's not unicorns and rainbows and fun times. No, they
Speaker 1: make us grow. So that's really what it is. And
Speaker 1: that's kind of when I go back to thanking that
Speaker 1: person saying thank you reminding me of my life, thank
Speaker 1: you for reminding me my God center, and thank you
Speaker 1: for allowing me to grow. And now I've outgrown this
Speaker 1: and I bless your path just as I'm asking you
Speaker 1: to bless mine. You know, that's really what is the
Speaker 1: dynamic here. So you know, anybody can chime in on
Speaker 1: comment and say, well you should have done this, should
Speaker 1: have done that. You know them themselves are coming into
Speaker 1: this have not been through that because they would not
Speaker 1: judge it if they did. Does that make sense, you know,
Speaker 1: so it really comes. Everybody's going to have opinion, But
Speaker 1: anybody that has gone through the darkness to see the
Speaker 1: light will just hold the space, honey. That's what they do.
Speaker 1: They hold the space or a soft place for you
Speaker 1: to fall, let all the emotions out, and help you
Speaker 1: work through that emotion so you come out of the
Speaker 1: other side the version what you were born to be,
Speaker 1: which is light and love and to inspire and and
Speaker 1: just beat. That's all you need to do. Just be
Speaker 1: mm hmm. I like that. Do we do we see
Speaker 1: a happy ending at the end of all of this
Speaker 1: or one hundred and a bazillion percent percent? But I
Speaker 1: really would love you to reflect on and into it.
Speaker 1: Like I said, you have gods, you have loved ones
Speaker 1: that are here. Like that's that's great, that's all there.
Speaker 1: But that's not really what the focus. What why you
Speaker 1: and I are crossing paths again. The focus is to
Speaker 1: remind you that fullal here we are again, right, is
Speaker 1: that there you are receiving these messages and to trust
Speaker 1: it more and more and more and not to delay them.
Speaker 1: Is that you are connected to the same place I am.
Speaker 1: Everyone is, and it's it's trusting, not and that it
Speaker 1: may not be an alignment with what you think you
Speaker 1: want at the time, but that saying does go Sometimes
Speaker 1: God doesn't give us what we want, gives us what
Speaker 1: we need, okay, And that you needed to kind of
Speaker 1: go through all of this, and that you are going
Speaker 1: to be coming to that vibrational alignment with someone who
Speaker 1: has the same values, that wants those same things. And
Speaker 1: let me just put it this way. You know, you
Speaker 1: live a very public life. I mean, it's obvious. It's
Speaker 1: kind of like an emails. I'm like, are you sure
Speaker 1: you want to have this conversation? You know, I always
Speaker 1: give all my clients because you know, I've got a lot.
Speaker 1: I've got a lot of public, very high profile people
Speaker 1: that I talked with on a regular basis, you know,
Speaker 1: and I helped them through these sort of things. But
Speaker 1: the thing is, for me, not everybody likes it public
Speaker 1: and stuff do and it's just more of a personality thing.
Speaker 1: So I'm always double check. I'm like, are you sure
Speaker 1: this is what you want? You know, I just want
Speaker 1: to double check because things may come out that you
Speaker 1: may not be comfortable. So it's all good, and I
Speaker 1: think the wrongness and being authentic and This is most
Speaker 1: important part because you are helping and healing people through this.
Speaker 1: You know other people are listening right now, going, yes,
Speaker 1: this resonates. Yes, I understand that this is what I've
Speaker 1: wanted to achieve, This is what I wanted to forgive.
Speaker 1: This is how I need to remind myself when I'm
Speaker 1: kind of up against the wall and something like what
Speaker 1: would love do in this situation? People say, what would
Speaker 1: Jesus do? What? But what would love to love? Would
Speaker 1: find compassion, loveould find all these sort of things. So
Speaker 1: you come into this beautiful alignment with who you are
Speaker 1: and where you vibrate so that person gets there. And
Speaker 1: I think you hit it on the head when you
Speaker 1: said about your ax. You know he was dealing with
Speaker 1: his worthiness issues. A person that truly truly loves themselves
Speaker 1: and isn't a place of peace doesn't go and do
Speaker 1: things that would hurt the person that they're with. I
Speaker 1: don't believe that this was intentional at all. I believe
Speaker 1: this person is going through their own sufferings. So this
Speaker 1: is where we hold that space for that person and
Speaker 1: say I don't like that, but I can understand, and
Speaker 1: you need to get help. And this is how you
Speaker 1: need to get help, right. You know, I think we're
Speaker 1: so quick to point fingers at other people, saying you
Speaker 1: wronged me, I wronged you, You're bad, I'm good. Like
Speaker 1: we do this instead of really looking at the bigger
Speaker 1: picture to say, where do I need to be kind
Speaker 1: in this? Where do I need to find love in this?
Speaker 1: Where do I need to set my boundaries? But where
Speaker 1: do I need to hold that space for them? And
Speaker 1: sometimes holling that space is literally like cutting off the
Speaker 1: lifeline and just saying, here's here's some help, this is
Speaker 1: what you need to go do. But that's like you're
Speaker 1: going to move on from that. But here's my little
Speaker 1: intuitive hit, like this isn't done here. You know, you
Speaker 1: still have a journey with this person that isn't fully
Speaker 1: completed yet. You may be signing on the divorce paper, sunny,
Speaker 1: but it's it's not done. So there's still some growth
Speaker 1: here that's going to happen. And I think it's important
Speaker 1: that you do spend time internalizing and working with your
Speaker 1: God's center and your love center and all those things
Speaker 1: and rebuilding that relationship with yourself so you feel that
Speaker 1: strength to work through these next steps. But you will
Speaker 1: align as you go through that with a person that
Speaker 1: is connected to what you want, because the two of
Speaker 1: you didn't have the same wants in life, and that's
Speaker 1: what ended up happening, is that you both went on
Speaker 1: different paths. At one point you did okay that that
Speaker 1: again it's a soul mate relationship. But then it became
Speaker 1: to an end. And so it started due to the
Speaker 1: fork in the road and split and then we fight
Speaker 1: and then we hired them. We can't trust and we
Speaker 1: dislike and it just starts to get worse and worse
Speaker 1: and worse before it gets better. But I'm sure you
Speaker 1: felt that overwhelming sense of relief when it finally was done,
Speaker 1: Like you no longer felt like you had to walk
Speaker 1: in eggshells or you were fearful of something happening. It
Speaker 1: was like it was almost like a bittersweet moment, right,
Speaker 1: Does that make sense? Yeah, it's like something sets you free. Yep, Tara,
Speaker 1: I I so appreciate you. And where can our listeners? Um,
Speaker 1: where can they find you? Where can you help them
Speaker 1: give us all the info? Sure, you can go to
Speaker 1: Tarry Taylor dot c a Canadian candidate. So Terry Teler
Speaker 1: dot c A you can find me there, um you
Speaker 1: can find me. I don't spend a lot of time
Speaker 1: on social media. I'm just one of those I'm too
Speaker 1: busy doing sessions and those sort of things. But you
Speaker 1: can see me on Facebook. I don't go on there,
Speaker 1: but people tend to follow me on Instagram. I think
Speaker 1: it's Tara Taylor, Indigo or Intuitive or something like that.
Speaker 1: But if you go on my website you can see
Speaker 1: all that information and then soon you'll start seeing I'm
Speaker 1: kind of behind the scenes doing some writing projects um
Speaker 1: in Hollywood, so that would be very very exciting. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So for me, it's about spreading love and how do
Speaker 1: we help that generation. We've got to do it in
Speaker 1: a way that teaching the new ways on how to
Speaker 1: work with her intuition. That's not so woe. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1: I love that. Well, Tara, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: coming on Wine Down. Appreciate it very very very much.
Speaker 1: God bless you, honey. You take care, You'll be just fine. Okay,
Speaker 1: thanks Tara, all right, by girl. My soul has been
Speaker 1: spoken to love. That's so good. But I am very
Speaker 1: excited to um have Devon Franklin on next. He's incredible
Speaker 1: and he's got a new book out called Live Free,
Speaker 1: So I'm excited to talk to him about everything and
Speaker 1: hopefully he can inspire us all. Be back in a
Speaker 1: sec Divine. Hey, I'm Janna. This is Katherine. What's going on?
Speaker 1: Hey good? How are you? Oh? My goodness? Like I
Speaker 1: cannot thank you enough for coming on this podcast, of course. No, no,
Speaker 1: you know. Amy reaches out and says, it's for y'all.
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, I'm here. Can I just have some
Speaker 1: of that energy and like, personally, you're just so you're
Speaker 1: you're like your light is just you're just you're happy.
Speaker 1: Oh well, I try. Right now, I'm feeling a little scruffy.
Speaker 1: I'm in pre production on my next movie, so I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: I'm in it, but I'm like, you know what, it's cool.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna come through however, I am. I'm glad
Speaker 1: the energy is right. Yeah, No, you're you're you have
Speaker 1: a great energy, very light. I like, it's it's im
Speaker 1: I need some of that right now. I'm going through
Speaker 1: just a real real bad, yucky divorce and it's just
Speaker 1: I just um any any and all like things that
Speaker 1: you can give me to just like get me up
Speaker 1: and feeling happy and positive, because feeling just like defeated
Speaker 1: and worried and anxious. What makes you feel the most defeated? Um?
Speaker 1: Sorry any time talking about my kids to get upset,
Speaker 1: just that I let my kids down. Mhm, you know,
Speaker 1: just like I mean, I guess, I you know, I've
Speaker 1: officially was the one that ended things. You know, I
Speaker 1: had to walk away because it wasn't right anymore. Um,
Speaker 1: it was, it was bad. But I think, you know,
Speaker 1: just growing up with expectations, and I know in your
Speaker 1: new book Live Free, like you talk about expectations, and
Speaker 1: so I had this expectation for myself and for my family,
Speaker 1: and now that I couldn't live up to that expectation
Speaker 1: and have that perfect family for them, I have a
Speaker 1: lot of guilt about that. I'm curious what you do
Speaker 1: with expectations and how you can kind of redirect my
Speaker 1: way of thinking. Yeah, I mean, you know, first of all,
Speaker 1: I mean it's I think it's courageous of you to
Speaker 1: be as transparent as you are and to be as
Speaker 1: in touch with how you're feeling. Um. I think also,
Speaker 1: you know, where did that idea you know, this is
Speaker 1: what perfection looks like? Where does that come from? Because
Speaker 1: if you look at it from the opposite, Okay, if
Speaker 1: I were to stay in something that was untrue, if
Speaker 1: I were to stay in something that is against who
Speaker 1: I am just for the image, what has that then
Speaker 1: project to your children? So the idea that you you
Speaker 1: are modeling, no matter what, no matter how the chips
Speaker 1: may fall, no matter how difficult, call put your truth
Speaker 1: as your light. That doesn't sound like defeat to me.
Speaker 1: That sounds like victory because you're displaying. Yo, this is difficult,
Speaker 1: it's hard. But again, and I don't know all the
Speaker 1: particulars alleged of decision, and no one needs to know
Speaker 1: those those particulars, um, but you know why you made
Speaker 1: the decision, and you know that it was a decision
Speaker 1: that you felt you needed to make, and so owning
Speaker 1: that and not and not trying to live up to
Speaker 1: because because I guess what, your kids don't have the
Speaker 1: expectation that you do. They just have an expectation of
Speaker 1: being loved, cared for. Heard, when they're hungry they want food. Hey,
Speaker 1: when I want some shoes, MoMA not needs some shoes.
Speaker 1: You know that. That's it. It's like hey, And so
Speaker 1: sometimes we come into a situation, um, you know, especially
Speaker 1: you know, you're a marriage, Like, here's what I wanted
Speaker 1: it to be, and this was my expectation of it
Speaker 1: and and the reality and the expectation. If we don't
Speaker 1: reckon sildbos too, it can be devastating. Um So I
Speaker 1: would just say specifically on this part of it, you know,
Speaker 1: just to not look at yourself and defeat. That's that's
Speaker 1: an energy that's not going to bring you anything. You know,
Speaker 1: you're courageous, you you you are victorious, you are are
Speaker 1: are a warrior for your truth and that no one
Speaker 1: can take it from you, and you shouldn't take it
Speaker 1: from yourself either, you know, to stand up and do
Speaker 1: what you're doing and to say what you're saying, and too,
Speaker 1: you know, finally say hey, you know, I gotta be respected.
Speaker 1: I gotta have boundaries, because boundaries are a sign of love.
Speaker 1: I love myself enough to know when certain bounties have
Speaker 1: been crossed and I've got to do the work to
Speaker 1: repair those boundaries by making a difficult choice that I
Speaker 1: believe will impact the rest of my life and my
Speaker 1: children's life in a positive way. So that's your truth,
Speaker 1: that's your path, and I would just encourage you to
Speaker 1: work on looking at it more from from an advantage
Speaker 1: point of victory, not defeat. Mhm, yeah like that. How
Speaker 1: do you like it? You know? Your book is called
Speaker 1: titled Live Free. What what is living free to you?
Speaker 1: Look like? Um? You know, living free to me looks like, Um,
Speaker 1: I get to control how I feel. I get to
Speaker 1: control how I live. I get to decide the expectations
Speaker 1: that I meet. Um, I don't give anyone the power
Speaker 1: to make me feel the way I don't want to feel.
Speaker 1: You know. So in the book I talk about the
Speaker 1: definition of living free is not being under the mental, emotional,
Speaker 1: or physical control of anyone or anything. That I am
Speaker 1: the keeper of my happiness. I am the keeper of
Speaker 1: my emotions. I am the keeper of my expectations. I'm
Speaker 1: the keeper of my desk. So that's what I say.
Speaker 1: That's what I mean by living free, like free to
Speaker 1: be who I am, not who people expect me to be,
Speaker 1: because that image is a prison. It's a prison because
Speaker 1: then I get into that prison. And I talked about
Speaker 1: this in the book, you know. I mean I grew
Speaker 1: up people call me Mr. Perfect and I thought that
Speaker 1: was a great thing. And if I got older, I
Speaker 1: said this is terrible as a prison because the persona
Speaker 1: then becomes the bars by which I had to live
Speaker 1: to because people have never expected to make a mistake.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, I'm human, I'm gonna make mistakes. So
Speaker 1: I first had of letting myself out of the prison.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, I'm not perfect. And then too, I
Speaker 1: had to not worry about how people perceive me so much,
Speaker 1: because that perception also creates a prison. You know, Okay,
Speaker 1: everybodys expecting you to be divone and what that means
Speaker 1: and and and all of that. It's like, well, no, yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta be me, and in a certain moment, I
Speaker 1: might be a little different than what you think I am,
Speaker 1: but I can't allow your thought to be my thought
Speaker 1: about myself. That's freedom, that's freedom, and that's what I
Speaker 1: talked about in this book because so often we're not
Speaker 1: living free. So often most of the moves are made
Speaker 1: because of how it looks. What people are gonna say,
Speaker 1: what parents may say, what your friends may say, what
Speaker 1: they may say, and we always focus on what they say.
Speaker 1: What about what I say? M What about me taking
Speaker 1: more say over my life? And that's what this book
Speaker 1: is all about, Like taking the control back, taking the
Speaker 1: authority back, and finding that freedom because I, in my experience,
Speaker 1: I see so many people living for everybody else, doing
Speaker 1: what everybody else wants them to do. Over obligated, stressed out,
Speaker 1: not happy. Why Because they're trying to be everything to
Speaker 1: everybody and they're really being nothing to themselves. So when
Speaker 1: I talk about being living free, it's about saying, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm committed to everyone else as well being,
Speaker 1: but I'm first committing committed to mine. Because if I
Speaker 1: don't take care of my well being, I can't take
Speaker 1: care of your well being. If I don't fill me up,
Speaker 1: I can't fill you up. I talk about this filled cups,
Speaker 1: field cups. So if I'm filled up, I got something
Speaker 1: to get. But if I'm not filled up, I can't
Speaker 1: give you anything. So this is the path to me
Speaker 1: about freeing. This is what it means. To live for
Speaker 1: you means like, what is keeping me back? What is
Speaker 1: keeping me captive emotionally, physically, mentally, And let me do
Speaker 1: everything I can to break out of that because my
Speaker 1: real piece, my happiness, my contentment, is in the freedom
Speaker 1: to be who are. I hear that, and I love that.
Speaker 1: I'm just curious if there's ever because I remember, you know,
Speaker 1: my my X and I we had wrote a book
Speaker 1: together and it was it was one of those things
Speaker 1: where I almost felt like we had to live up
Speaker 1: to this expectation, you know, even though it was, um,
Speaker 1: you know, I was fighting a good fight, like doing
Speaker 1: these things, but you know, um, I'm wonder for you, like,
Speaker 1: is that hard where it's like, you know, because you
Speaker 1: are you have all these different hats that you wear,
Speaker 1: and you you know, your motivational speaker, and you write
Speaker 1: you know, amazing book and it's like, do you ever
Speaker 1: sometimes feel like even in your relationship or you're just
Speaker 1: like like you almost feel like like I kind of
Speaker 1: felt like a well, I was a con artist after
Speaker 1: that book came out because I'm like it was real
Speaker 1: for me, but it wasn't for him. So it's just like,
Speaker 1: do you ever struggle with that? I know you have listen.
Speaker 1: It's so great that we can have that conversation. It's
Speaker 1: very few people then I talked to have co authored
Speaker 1: a book with their spouse, so it's like, okay. So
Speaker 1: so that part of it is like, you know, I've
Speaker 1: had to get to the place and we've had to
Speaker 1: get to the place where we don't let that book,
Speaker 1: that image become the prison by which we live. So
Speaker 1: you're right, there's no doubt the moment, you know. And
Speaker 1: when we wrote our book the way, you know, we
Speaker 1: just did it because that was our truth. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, this is our true let's go talk
Speaker 1: about it. We were not fully cognizant of the expect
Speaker 1: pation that came with that. It was huge and it
Speaker 1: was an amazing book too, by the way. We got
Speaker 1: sent that book and it was it was incredible, but yeah,
Speaker 1: well there you go. So it was like, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: we just wrote this book because you know, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: we should do it. We want to tell our story
Speaker 1: help others. The intent was great. The intended nothing to
Speaker 1: do with but we see everything to do with building
Speaker 1: people up. However, to your point, coming out of it
Speaker 1: in the book being so successful, at times, there has
Speaker 1: been this like oh, we gotta we gotta live up
Speaker 1: to that, and that created a lot of pressure for
Speaker 1: for her, it created a lot of pressure for me,
Speaker 1: and I think that, you know, just recently we were
Speaker 1: getting to the place where we are okay with being
Speaker 1: different than how we were when we wrote that book.
Speaker 1: We're okay with, you know, saying hey, we believe in
Speaker 1: what we wrote, but we don't. But we have our
Speaker 1: down days to you know what I mean, Like like
Speaker 1: people see that image on that cover and they're like,
Speaker 1: that's what I want, and that is and that is
Speaker 1: a trap because we're all fallible, we all fall short
Speaker 1: of the glory of God, we all make mistakes. And
Speaker 1: the intent for us and putting that image out there
Speaker 1: wasn't to say, hey, we want you all to aspire
Speaker 1: to this. No, we want you to aspire to your truth.
Speaker 1: And so we have personally we love the message and
Speaker 1: we'll continue to talk about the message, but we've had
Speaker 1: to also get to the place where we are okay
Speaker 1: with knowing that our journey is our journey. There are
Speaker 1: some moments in some days. Our truth is our truth,
Speaker 1: and we have really tried to resist the temptation to
Speaker 1: try to live up to what that image is. That
Speaker 1: was our truth, then this is our truth. Now we're
Speaker 1: on a journey. Every day, we're changing, we're growing, we're
Speaker 1: being But like, if I feel like I gotta show
Speaker 1: up and be like, hey, that's the way guys, like
Speaker 1: you know, I don't feel that I feel like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna show up. It's divine to day, you know,
Speaker 1: and and hey let's go where it goes. But um,
Speaker 1: I I feel like, you know, very few people have
Speaker 1: been able to talk to you know, who've been able
Speaker 1: to who have had that experience of like there you are,
Speaker 1: your love is on the cover, and that love becomes
Speaker 1: the image. So I understand what you're saying, and it's
Speaker 1: something that we, uh, you know, that we just work
Speaker 1: to not allow to creep into our our marriage and
Speaker 1: become disrupted. What do you say to the people that
Speaker 1: are stuck that can't get out of you know, their
Speaker 1: depression or um, like I've given very vulnerable uh example,
Speaker 1: Like I I have a really hard time being alone
Speaker 1: and so you know, I've since my ex has moved
Speaker 1: out and I'm just alone in the house. Obviously my
Speaker 1: kids and you know are in bed, but um I
Speaker 1: just sit in my literally sit in my living room,
Speaker 1: and I'm like I don't even know what to do.
Speaker 1: Like I just feel like I was like I would
Speaker 1: love to like go do this or do that? Like
Speaker 1: how do I get myself to be like to unstick
Speaker 1: myself from from that kind of just like staring at
Speaker 1: the walls, like at my walls are just like dark
Speaker 1: and closing in. Okay, Um, you know what comes to
Speaker 1: mind is, um, this is gonna sound like a total tangent,
Speaker 1: but it's coming to your preach. So so what I
Speaker 1: was when I was younger, you know, I think I
Speaker 1: had to be Like in the third grade, I was
Speaker 1: over a friend of mine house after school, and uh,
Speaker 1: we were playing hide and go seek. There are a
Speaker 1: bunch of us, and so everybody went to go hide,
Speaker 1: and I was the one that was there waiting to
Speaker 1: go find everybody. So I count to ten and say, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, ready or not? Here I come and I
Speaker 1: run and um, I run into something. I'm not quite
Speaker 1: sure what it is, but I feel it I'm and
Speaker 1: I said, oh, it's okay. And I tried to keep
Speaker 1: going to find the people that were hide and my
Speaker 1: friends that were hiding. And I realized, oh man, I
Speaker 1: couldn't move. You know something, I really hit something. And
Speaker 1: so I looked down at my left knee and cut
Speaker 1: wide open. And I realized that I had run past
Speaker 1: the flower bed and there was a piece of wood
Speaker 1: sticking out and it literally sliced my knee wide open. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I couldn't and I couldn't when I go when
Speaker 1: I went to move it literally blood just poured out
Speaker 1: of it. So I had to call for help. They came,
Speaker 1: they said, oh my goodness, They wrapped my knee up,
Speaker 1: They called my mother, They rested me to the hospital
Speaker 1: get emergency surgery, and I was in I was in
Speaker 1: the hospital for a number of days, and then it
Speaker 1: was in the past for a couple of weeks. The
Speaker 1: reason why I shared that, Sorry, I don't mean to
Speaker 1: be morbid, but I share that because when you talk about,
Speaker 1: you know, being alone or not staring at the walls,
Speaker 1: I think you have to acknowledge the level of of
Speaker 1: of of pain and trauma and hurt that you have
Speaker 1: that you're coming through. So the expectation of just getting
Speaker 1: back into life and getting things going. It's like you're
Speaker 1: hurt and it's okay, Like it's so like. I think
Speaker 1: part of it is maybe like you know, saying to
Speaker 1: yourself in those moments, it's okay, m um, right where
Speaker 1: I need to be, It's all right, you know, without
Speaker 1: any sort of pressure or feeling like, oh man, I
Speaker 1: need to be doing this or I don't want to
Speaker 1: do that. It's like you're resetting your entire life and
Speaker 1: that's just gonna take some time. And sometimes those quiet
Speaker 1: moments are the most powerful moments because you're gonna get
Speaker 1: revelation and downloads on what to do and how to
Speaker 1: do and and maybe even things that okay to here
Speaker 1: some tweaks that you want to make. So I would
Speaker 1: just encourage you to embrace the discocomfort. Embrace it. There
Speaker 1: may be times you in your place by yourself, the
Speaker 1: kids are going you scream, scream, Embrace it. Embrace it
Speaker 1: because when you think about what's happening, and you know,
Speaker 1: and again from what you're sharing, is like there's like
Speaker 1: a it's like a rebirth. You know, it's a rebirth.
Speaker 1: There's a rebuilding. And in order for anything to be reborn,
Speaker 1: whatever it was has to die. When you think about
Speaker 1: the caterpillar, it goes into that cocoon. That cocoon looks
Speaker 1: like death, but it's actually the vehicle for life because
Speaker 1: it's changing. That cocoon is changing. It's not dying. You
Speaker 1: can feel like it. It's tight, it's dark, it's it's
Speaker 1: it's it's it's it's damp, you know, but it's being transformed.
Speaker 1: So that's when you think about, you know, that isolation.
Speaker 1: It's like, yo, you are being transformed. The world has
Speaker 1: not even yet seen the light and the love, and
Speaker 1: the and and the power with which you will come
Speaker 1: forth out of all of this. So that's not an
Speaker 1: easy answer to your question. Um, but I would just
Speaker 1: resist the temptation to push through those uncomfortable moments because
Speaker 1: they're really going to be some of the most valuable
Speaker 1: moments I think in this journey that you're on, Von,
Speaker 1: You're just speaking to my soul right now. I just
Speaker 1: I love you. Where can our listeners find everything that
Speaker 1: you do, especially the cute little book that you and
Speaker 1: your wife were out, because that's the picture for a
Speaker 1: big book. Oh man, we'll get the new book. They
Speaker 1: get that, but we'll get a living, get a living free,
Speaker 1: you know. Um. Yeah, you find me on my website
Speaker 1: Davon Franklin dot com. I'm on Instagram at Davon Franklin,
Speaker 1: same with Twitter and Facebook. Well, Devon, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for coming on. I appreciate it more than you know.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I just I really appreciate it and I'm
Speaker 1: excited to read live. I can't wait for you to
Speaker 1: read it order now you neednything? Thank you let me know. Okay, awesome,
Speaker 1: thanks to Von. Appreciated. I mean, come on, I love
Speaker 1: him love I just want like a you know what
Speaker 1: I want. I wanted daily affirmations from Devon. That's what
Speaker 1: I need him to do, daily Devon affirmations. Can I
Speaker 1: tell you what I was thinking about a lot of
Speaker 1: the time he was talking the day I don't know
Speaker 1: how many days after, And I told you that I
Speaker 1: was excited. Remember what I told you. I was excited
Speaker 1: and you looked at me and You're like excited, and
Speaker 1: I was like, yes, I'm excited for you. It's that,
Speaker 1: it's everything that he said, like a change is coming,
Speaker 1: and it's and you know it's going to come at
Speaker 1: some point. You're just in the middle of it. But
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. I'm about to be a damn butterfly
Speaker 1: mark the world. I'm about to find my little butterfly
Speaker 1: arms out. I'm with Catherine. I think it's it's exciting.
Speaker 1: It really is, because this next chapter was inevitable and
Speaker 1: now it can finally begin. Amen what he said, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm excited to fly. I'm shedding right now, shedding. And
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna spread my wings and then everybody is
Speaker 1: gonna just you know, uh yeah, well it'll be a
Speaker 1: good how do I say it? Um? Oh, thank everyone
Speaker 1: while I'm like flying up in this guy. Thanks, I
Speaker 1: love you. You were right. I'm sorry to do a
Speaker 1: twitter oh man. Well, great show guys, and um see
Speaker 1: you next week