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Speaker 1: Good morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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Speaker 1: Today's tip is to put some effortful fun into your life.

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Speaker 1: If you've listened to a few episodes of this podcast,

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Speaker 1: you won't be surprised to hear that I like to plan.

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Speaker 1: Some of this is temperamental and some is just practical.

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Speaker 1: With four kids and two working parents in my family,

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Speaker 1: very little happens serendipitously. Anyway. From time to time, people

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Speaker 1: who know my disposition send me studies finding some version

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Speaker 1: of this conclusion. People find planned leisure time less relaxing

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Speaker 1: than unplanned leisure time. It turns out that sitting on

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Speaker 1: the couch with a beer is a more relaxing way

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Speaker 1: to spend a Thursday night than getting up and going

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Speaker 1: to choir practice or say, a mother daughter book club meeting.

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Speaker 1: I am completely willing to believe this is true. I

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Speaker 1: also have this answer, So what effortless fun is more relaxing?

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Speaker 1: But effort full fun makes life worth living. And ultimately,

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Speaker 1: since effort full fund creates more memories, it helps us

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Speaker 1: feel like we have more time. Before we go further

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Speaker 1: into this argument, I'd like to explain these two terms.

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Speaker 1: Effortless fun is what we do automatically when a spot

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Speaker 1: of leisure time opens up. Sometimes we don't even notice

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Speaker 1: we're doing it. Scrolling around online counts. Watching TV does too.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with these things. I mean, no one's

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Speaker 1: going to plan every minute of life, and when you

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Speaker 1: have caregiving responsibilities, effortless fund has some major upsides. You

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Speaker 1: don't have to arrange coverage if you don't know for

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Speaker 1: sure when your kid will fall asleep. It's all good.

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Speaker 1: You can watch TV whenever that happens. The issue is

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Speaker 1: that because such fun is effortless, it naturally winds up

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Speaker 1: consuming the bulk of our leisure time. According to the

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Speaker 1: American Time Use Survey, the average American with a full

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Speaker 1: time job has three point nine two hours of leisure

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Speaker 1: time per day. Of this, two point three two hours

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Speaker 1: is spent watching TV or using a computer for personal pursuits.

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Speaker 1: Effort Full fun includes activities such as singing in a choir,

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Speaker 1: or playing in a softball league, or taking a cooking class.

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Speaker 1: These things involve commitments. You have to get yourself somewhere

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Speaker 1: or host other people at a certain time. You have

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Speaker 1: to deal with the logistics necessary to do that. This

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Speaker 1: takes work. The idea that fun might take work stops

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Speaker 1: many of us in our tracks. Maybe we even resist

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Speaker 1: the idea. But here's the result of that. We spend

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Speaker 1: our lives scrolling through Instagram posts about other people's dinner

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Speaker 1: parties rather than throwing dinner parties ourselves. One might be

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Speaker 1: more relaxing, but the other will be far more meaningful.

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Speaker 1: It will also be more memorable. Often when we say

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Speaker 1: where did time go, what we mean is that we

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Speaker 1: don't remember where the time went. Memories stretch time, and

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Speaker 1: when you remember that dinner party, time will seem more

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Speaker 1: full and rich than a life spent doing what amounts

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Speaker 1: to nothing. So my challenge to you today is to

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Speaker 1: change the balance between effortless and effort ful fun. Try

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Speaker 1: to put a little bit more effort full fun into

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Speaker 1: your life. I made a decision to do this a

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Speaker 1: few years ago, and it's been wonderful for me. I've

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Speaker 1: always loved to sing, and I sang in a choir

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Speaker 1: for many years in New York, But when my third

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Speaker 1: child was on her way and my husband and I

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Speaker 1: left the city, I put this aside for a while.

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Speaker 1: I figured I was busy objectively, as I wrote more

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Speaker 1: books and had more babies. I think I was, But

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Speaker 1: in the summer I decided that even if it was

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Speaker 1: logistically difficult, I was going to sing in a choir again.

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Speaker 1: I wound up joining my church's fire We rehearse every

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Speaker 1: Thursday during the school year and sing every Sunday morning.

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Speaker 1: This requires a commitment of about five hours per week,

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Speaker 1: plus all the logistics required to make that happen, including

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Speaker 1: extra childcare sometimes when my husband can't be there, and

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Speaker 1: arranging carpools for kid activities. It's not easy, and yet

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Speaker 1: those five hours would pass every week one way or another.

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Speaker 1: Time is always filled with something. I could spend those

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Speaker 1: five hours on things I don't remember, or I can

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Speaker 1: learn challenging and beautiful music. The day of this episode

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Speaker 1: is first airing, I'll be singing box st Mark Passion

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Speaker 1: for a good Friday service. Learning this music inside and

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Speaker 1: out in harmony with others is for me a more

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Speaker 1: meaningful way to connect with this sacred time than just

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Speaker 1: reading the stories. Singing the Hallelujah chorus on Easter morning

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Speaker 1: will be too. So look at your life and ask

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Speaker 1: what sort of effortful fund might make your life more

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Speaker 1: meaningful and enjoyable. Maybe it's volunteering somewhere for cause you're

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Speaker 1: passionate about, or joining a sports team. Maybe it's joining

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Speaker 1: a spiritual small group or hosting a series of salons

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Speaker 1: with fascinating people. Yes, it takes work, Yes it might

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Speaker 1: not be completely relaxing, but so what what are you

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Speaker 1: saving your energy? Four? In the meantime, This is Laura.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

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Speaker 1: our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.

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Speaker 1: You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.

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Speaker 1: Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at

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Speaker 1: Before Breakfast Pod that's B the number four then breakfast

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Speaker 1: key o D. You can also shoot me an email

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Speaker 1: at Before Breakfast Podcast at i heeart media dot com

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Speaker 1: that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.

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Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch.