WEBVTT - Kinky Bottoms with Ross Mathews 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.440 Hi everybody. While I'm taking the month of September off 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:06.600 of doing stand up, I return on October one to 0:00:06.720 --> 0:00:11.760 complete my Vaccinated and Horny Tour. October, November, and December, 0:00:11.800 --> 0:00:16.520 I have new dates up. I kick it off in Saratoga, California, 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:20.360 and I'm coming to all parts of California, Long Beach, Bakersfield. 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:28.080 I'm going to Niagara Falls, Tucson, Arizona, Colorado, Minneapolis, San Diego, Reading, Pennsylvania, 0:00:28.120 --> 0:00:30.600 and Baltimore, Maryland, just to name a few. There's also 0:00:30.680 --> 0:00:32.920 some Floridian dates in there, since this will be my 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:35.120 last year that I'm able to go inside the state 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:38.000 of Florida. So check out Chelsea handler dot com for 0:00:38.080 --> 0:00:40.360 more stand up dates for my Vaccinated in Horny Tour. 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:46.080 These are my last dates. Okay, Hi Catherine, Oh Hi Chelsea. Hello, 0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:49.680 welcome to the studio. We're in studio together in Los Angeles, 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:52.200 Los Angeles. I love when we get to me together. 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:55.360 I know, I know, it's so nice and now that 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:58.760 we sit on the same side of the window, especially especially, 0:00:58.760 --> 0:01:02.360 not especially. I did an announcement on my Instagram A 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:04.080 P S A as I like to call them about 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:08.000 the words especially and espresso. That they do not have 0:01:08.080 --> 0:01:10.720 exes in them that they are says Actually, you know, 0:01:10.760 --> 0:01:12.560 there were a couple of comments about it's like, oh, 0:01:12.600 --> 0:01:15.680 that's being really racist, thinking about how different cultures use 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:18.680 language and different educational systems, and it's a socio economic 0:01:18.760 --> 0:01:21.360 class this thing to say. I'm like, not at all, 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:25.320 that's that is a thing that like white college educated 0:01:25.360 --> 0:01:28.520 people are abusing that word expect when they say especially, 0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:30.440 I don't because they get it wrong. I got it wrong. 0:01:30.560 --> 0:01:34.800 Did you say especially? Honestly don't remember Exhibit A. Then 0:01:34.959 --> 0:01:38.679 I mean, it's just tell anyway. Fuck. I liked your 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:43.960 regime regimen correction because I mean, man, I hear it 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:46.560 all the time and it drives me nuts. Yeah, so, 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:49.320 and then why is that not racist regime and regiment 0:01:49.440 --> 0:01:52.040 and or classist if it's like it's like, no, you're 0:01:52.040 --> 0:01:57.240 correcting grammar. Grammar should be used correctly, and you know, yeah, anyway, 0:01:57.400 --> 0:02:01.200 I love the language and that's my past Shin Chelsea. 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:03.720 We did have a little bit of an interesting stuphoo 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:06.720 over the last couple of days with our Dear Chelsea 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:10.000 podcast email. Oh god, I know, I'm such an idiot. 0:02:10.720 --> 0:02:13.200 She's like Ben Bruno is going to be on the podcast, 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:15.120 and she's the Catherine side texted me and said, hey, 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:18.960 would you get some questions about fitness for Ben Bruno 0:02:19.360 --> 0:02:23.639 because he's too talk about anything else. And and then 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:26.120 I was like, oh, Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:29.040 com and it's Dear Chelsea project at Gmail, which actually 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:31.240 makes no sense. So it doesn't because this was like 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:33.760 just a like a secret project at the beginning. So 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:37.040 that was the email sc project. But then you know, 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:38.880 of course people are saying in your d m s like, 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:41.200 oh my god, we can't get through it says unavailable. 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:43.959 So what Brad did, He's just a lifesaver. He went 0:02:44.000 --> 0:02:48.000 and set up Dear Chelsea podcast at Gmail. Okay, guys, 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:49.960 thank you Brad for doing that, for picking up the 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:54.000 pieces of my messy Saturday mornings. But my favorite thing, Chelsea, 0:02:54.080 --> 0:02:56.240 I did not tell you this before, but you did 0:02:56.240 --> 0:02:58.880 a correction and I had a picture you had the 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:06.680 correction on there and it was same wrong. I just 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:10.160 was like, well, let's set up attention to details unparalleled. 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:13.720 Oh my god. So I just thought I would let 0:03:13.760 --> 0:03:15.320 you in on that. But you know what I think 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:17.480 now we're going to just change that. So gays you 0:03:17.520 --> 0:03:22.800 can write. We'll start calling it Dear Chelsea project dot com. 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:27.280 I'll go back Dory. They'll both work now, so send 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:30.280 away and then we and then Ben Bruto and I 0:03:30.320 --> 0:03:32.280 did like an Instagram story when I was at his 0:03:32.320 --> 0:03:34.920 gym the other morning, and I did it wrong too. 0:03:35.040 --> 0:03:40.160 I said to your Chelsea podcast or Dear Chelsea podcast, amazing. 0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:42.880 Just don't send it to dear Chelsea at gmail dot 0:03:42.920 --> 0:03:45.040 com because that's a different heard of from me. Don't 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:48.720 use that email address. Just check with me, guys, just yeah, 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:51.440 get him my I d M. I'll let I'll let 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:53.520 you know where to send it. My guest today is 0:03:53.520 --> 0:03:55.920 an old friend from Chelsea Lately Days who everyone will know, 0:03:56.560 --> 0:03:59.840 and he's on Rue Paul's Drag Race. He is the 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:02.400 host of the Drew Barrymore Show, which has just been 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:04.880 picked up for season three, so congratulations on that. And 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:07.680 he has his own new podcast which premiered mid September 0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:09.800 and it is called Hello Ross, and I will be 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:13.920 on the very first episode. Ross Matthews. Everybody, Hi, Hi, Hi, 0:04:14.200 --> 0:04:18.240 because I was so happy to see you. Hi. Cutie, 0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:24.479 Petuity Fresh and fruity extra fruity, what's up? Where are 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:26.359 your you? In l A. I am where are you 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:29.240 Palm Springs? No, no, no no, we're we We bought a 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:32.039 house in Long Island, so we're here because we're starting 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:34.719 Drew up again. I thought you bought a place in 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:37.440 Palm Springs. So I have a house and Palm Springs. 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:39.360 And then when I came here for Drew and then married, 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:41.359 welly he's faced in Long Island because that's where he 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:43.560 works here. So we bought a house here and I 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:46.480 love it out here. Oh that's great, and so are 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:49.440 you gonna keep your place in Palm Springs. We're back 0:04:49.440 --> 0:04:51.600 and forth. My brother lives there. It's like a compound, 0:04:51.640 --> 0:04:53.680 you know. My brother lives there with the dogs. He 0:04:53.720 --> 0:05:00.719 watches them. Huge, dude, I love it. Congratulations, thank you, 0:05:00.880 --> 0:05:03.200 there's so much to catch up on. And Hi, by 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:07.080 the way, this is my producer, Katherine. Hi, Katherine, everybody. 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:12.160 Ross Matthews is here today. Hello Hillo, Ross Matthews. It 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:15.080 is so good to see you. It has been too long. 0:05:15.120 --> 0:05:16.720 I mean, even though we did get to get together 0:05:16.920 --> 0:05:19.240 and have like a happy hour thing not that long ago. 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:22.240 It was remember, Yeah, I was there, you were there, Yeah, 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:24.839 in New York City. I went Barbara were at the 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:28.480 famous Ritz St Regis St Regis. That's right, what's up 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:31.839 bar called? I never remember, but they have the popcorn 0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:34.120 of my life there, Remember that truffle popcorn that I 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:37.200 have since how to make it so good? We had 0:05:37.200 --> 0:05:40.440 a little reunion. It was Fortune and Jack's and Welly 0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:44.800 Ross's now husband, and Joe Coy myself and we all 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:46.479 went and it was so much fun and it was 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:48.360 like a little Yeah, that was a really fun night. 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:51.040 I saw those pictures on the Instagram. They were on 0:05:51.080 --> 0:05:53.479 the gram. Well, Joe Coy and I have broken up. Ross. 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:56.279 I'm sure that you've heard. I know I did here, 0:05:56.440 --> 0:05:58.600 I texted you. I know. I love you both, and 0:05:58.640 --> 0:06:00.640 that one one that would hurt I have say, did 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:03.000 it hurt me as much as it hurt you? It 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:06.240 hurt me more? Maybe I don't know. No, it hurt me. 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:08.080 It was. It was painful. It was you know, it's 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:11.200 hard to break up any time, especially when you you know, 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:14.000 thought you were gonna be with somebody for a long time. 0:06:14.080 --> 0:06:17.360 It's hard to like, go, wait a second, this isn't 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:19.520 what I thought it was going to be. That sucks. 0:06:20.120 --> 0:06:23.000 It's not as so many people invested in you guys, 0:06:23.040 --> 0:06:25.200 do you know I think it was. It was something 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:27.080 we needed after the pandemic, and you know what it 0:06:27.120 --> 0:06:29.479 was still, it was beautiful. It was beautiful for what 0:06:29.560 --> 0:06:31.760 it was and when it was. And I hope your 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:34.320 heart is good. Yeah it is. I'm good now. I 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:37.039 feel a lot of I've healed a lot in the 0:06:37.120 --> 0:06:39.240 last couple of months. It's only been a couple of months, 0:06:39.240 --> 0:06:41.760 but I feel a lot I think now. We were 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:44.920 talking about this on another podcast earlier this week. I 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:47.279 have to say, like having the skills from going to 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:50.040 therapy about how to deal with grieving and the end 0:06:50.080 --> 0:06:52.600 of a relationship and to act like an adult instead 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:55.520 of like a kid is the best gift ever. Too. Like, 0:06:55.720 --> 0:06:59.320 I love the way that I have behaved, and I 0:06:59.360 --> 0:07:03.000 can't say at about many times in my life I've 0:07:03.040 --> 0:07:04.680 been there for some of those times. I can. I can, 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:08.320 I can attest to my bad behavior. But like, especially 0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:12.640 with breakups, when there's drama, or there's hurt feelings, or 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:17.000 there's egos involved, it's so easy to lower your vibration 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:19.880 and to fight nasty instead of taking the high road 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:23.080 and always just being like it's okay, it's okay. It 0:07:23.120 --> 0:07:25.120 didn't work out. Can we go deep for a second, 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:28.320 because I had a thought. Sure, I think grief grief, 0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:30.120 and I'm someone who's dealt with grief, right I lost 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:32.040 both my parents, has been it was. It's tough. You know, 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:33.480 you have to learn to do that. You've done that 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:35.800 as well. I think grief is grief. Whether it's a 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:37.560 breakup or a death or a loss, it is. It 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:39.640 is what it is. And I feel like the first 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:42.280 time you really experienced grief is how you approach it 0:07:42.320 --> 0:07:44.120 for the rest of forever, you know what I mean, 0:07:44.520 --> 0:07:46.200 until you do the work to change it. And so 0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:49.480 if you first experienced grief as a young kid, maybe 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:52.800 you went back there even in adulthood until you learned 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:54.920 how to navigate it correctly. And you did as the 0:07:54.920 --> 0:07:56.720 young kid. I think about that all the time, that 0:07:57.160 --> 0:07:59.119 you went through that when you're so Yeah, that's true, 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:01.560 Glenn and Doyle said something like that. She had heard 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:05.120 something like sometimes you recreate all of your childhood trauma 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:07.760 to try and correct it and correct your reaction to 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:10.520 it and the ending two things, And yeah, I agree 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:12.160 with that. I mean, the only thing you can ever 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:14.320 hope for in this lifetime is to become more evolved. 0:08:14.360 --> 0:08:16.640 I mean for me, I always just want to get 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:21.360 more informed, more evolved, and become a better version of myself. Right, Yeah, 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:23.040 And you suck it up the first time, in the 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:24.480 second time, in the third time, and by like the 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:26.640 fourth time, let's get our ship together, right and let 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:28.840 that's kind of life. If you can buy the fourth 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:30.840 time kind of figure it out, then you're you're on 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:33.559 the right track. And also, I think something that's really 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:37.680 valid is having an interest. We were just talking to 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:40.280 somebody who thought, you know, therapy with self indulgent or 0:08:40.360 --> 0:08:44.640 navel gazing or unnecessary. It's like, it is so important 0:08:44.880 --> 0:08:48.400 to be with somebody who has the capacity and the 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:51.960 knowledge to be smart enough to understand that there are 0:08:52.000 --> 0:08:54.959 things inside of us that need to be examined. That 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:57.559 there are you have to self examine. You have to 0:08:57.640 --> 0:09:00.800 understand why you do things so that you don't hurt people, 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:03.839 and that you don't behave in a childish way when 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:06.280 you're an adult. You know, like that's no fun, you 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:07.880 have to do that. But I think if you want 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:10.480 to be in any sort of elevated relationship with yourself 0:09:10.600 --> 0:09:13.000 or with anybody else that really can go anywhere, then 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:14.520 you have to do the work. I mean, some people 0:09:14.520 --> 0:09:17.360 are fine just sitting there, not examining things, not working 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:19.320 it out. But I promise you and you're you know. 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:21.560 I look at your growth just in terms of like 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:24.640 your heart, just knowing you for how many years has 0:09:24.640 --> 0:09:28.160 it been known? Almost twenty years? Probably probably you know. 0:09:28.320 --> 0:09:30.360 I see it in you, and not that you needed to, 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:33.040 but I see a different version of you now, an 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:35.480 evolved version. I think we all do, you know? And 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:37.080 I love that you're so open about that dream. Well, 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:39.280 I mean it's like it is a compliment. It is. 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:42.839 I know you've been through some difficult breakups and now 0:09:42.920 --> 0:09:46.040 you're in a real happy relationship. How did that work 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:48.680 for you? That kind of arc? I think you have 0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:51.040 to be grateful and that sort of makes such peace 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:53.800 with whatever you've been through because it does sort of 0:09:53.840 --> 0:09:56.240 form who you are. And I have been able you know, 0:09:56.280 --> 0:09:58.640 I met my husband, which is so weird to say, 0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:01.760 but my husband I met almost three years ago. And 0:10:02.000 --> 0:10:04.080 if I hadn't met him when I met him as 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:05.800 a human I was when I met him, I wouldn't 0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:08.400 have been ready for what he has done for me 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:10.960 in terms of holding a mirror up to me and 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:13.280 holding a mirror up to the world. You know, is 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:15.640 a person of color, a gay immigrant person of color 0:10:15.880 --> 0:10:17.680 who's worked his way up in this life to become 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:19.800 a doctor of education. And he just showed me what 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:22.720 that journey was like. And it made me understand what 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:25.840 being a white man here was like and what being 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:27.880 a flawed human is like. And he's just made me 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:29.280 so much better. And I wouldn't have been ready for 0:10:29.320 --> 0:10:31.480 it if I hadn't gone through all of it, you know, 0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:33.880 And here I am. I think I'm ready. Oh. I 0:10:33.920 --> 0:10:37.320 love that his husband's name is Wellington, which I love. 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:39.319 I love a name like Wellington. It sounds like he 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:43.200 should be on Oh what's that stupid teage Abbey well That? 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:49.520 But the other the updated child Bridget. Yeah, you know 0:10:49.559 --> 0:10:50.840 the best thing about well he's you know, he's a 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:53.199 very important educational thinker and all that. But every time 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:54.440 I go what do you want for dinner? He goes, 0:10:54.480 --> 0:10:59.040 you want beef Wellington and then he shakes it. He goes, 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:02.760 you like your beef Welling? And well done. Yeah. So 0:11:03.080 --> 0:11:06.520 Ross is on the Drew Barrymore Show. They're a delightful 0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:10.280 combo platter, I must say. And you guys are going back? 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:13.120 What season are you going back to? Yeah? Season three 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:15.079 were starting, And you know, Chelsea, you've known me for 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:16.720 a long time. And I when I grew up in 0:11:17.000 --> 0:11:18.920 a little farmtown, I used to watch Regis and kathy 0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:21.280 Leen just like talk and think like, oh my god, 0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:22.959 they get to like talk to each other and then 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:25.800 interview celebrities. That's what I want to do and and 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:28.320 it's been the goal forever and I can't believe I 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:30.120 get to do it every day with Drew Barrymore. It's 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:32.240 crazy you call him on the show, right, and it 0:11:32.320 --> 0:11:34.600 was so nice to have you on. And she's just 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:38.360 a dream. Yeah, Drew is a very special, unique individual. 0:11:38.600 --> 0:11:41.960 Drew has gone through her sets of trauma and yeah, 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:44.200 all of the stuff, but she always manages to be 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:47.200 Sunday side up is how I would describe her. She's 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:49.880 always I mean, she can you know, she's not perfect 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:52.000 in terms of like being in a happy mood all 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:54.840 the time, but her genuine spirit is that her like 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:59.120 neutral vibrates above happy. Yeah, I mean that gear and 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:00.760 I kind of do that too. But you know, she's 0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:03.839 somebody who again has put in the work. You think 0:12:03.840 --> 0:12:05.760 about where she's been sometimes I'll bring it up. You know, 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:07.400 what were do you do when you were thirteen? And 0:12:07.400 --> 0:12:10.280 she'll be like, I was in the mental institution. Okay, 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:14.160 well I understood. So she's really like been through it 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:16.640 and come out on this place just full of gratitude 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:19.800 and not a Pollyanna, not cheesy. She really comes by honestly, 0:12:20.200 --> 0:12:21.960 but she's the real deal. You know. I didn't know 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:23.840 her before doing the show. I just sort of popped 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:26.079 in one day and we like clicked how long did 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:28.839 how long did it take you guys to click? About 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:31.000 about three and a half minutes, I think, And then 0:12:31.040 --> 0:12:32.600 she was like, can you come back tomorrow? And I 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:33.680 was at Jure and then they said can you come 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:36.000 back next week? Okay? And then I just never left Chelsea. 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:38.400 It's like when I did your show. I just showed up. 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:40.640 The same thing on RuPaul, same thing on Jay Leno. 0:12:40.679 --> 0:12:42.000 I just sort of show up and then people are like, 0:12:42.040 --> 0:12:43.800 I guess we'll keep him. I'm like a rescue dog, 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:45.439 you know. They're like, I like him. I guess I'm 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:48.040 used to him. That's cute. That's cute. So what goes 0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:50.200 on on Long Island? What part of Long Island are 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:52.320 you on? So we're in the north Shore. I don't 0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:54.280 know anything about All I knew about Long Island is 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:56.800 that it was far away from California. But we just 0:12:56.800 --> 0:12:58.480 bought a house here because my husband, like I said, 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:00.160 he works out here, and then it's a quick ant 0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:01.600 right into the city. But I love it. I thought 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:03.400 it was sort of like cheesy, and then I realized, oh, 0:13:03.440 --> 0:13:05.760 this is where the bearfot Contessa lives, and then it 0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:08.760 all started all started making sense to me. I was like, 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:11.440 I can have burrata and KAPRAI say, and you know, 0:13:11.520 --> 0:13:13.839 I could flit my denim collar up and life is 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:15.719 going to be great. So I love it here. And 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:17.400 you know what, can I tell you a quick story 0:13:17.480 --> 0:13:19.560 that I want? I'm gonna tell you anyway. So I 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:21.280 had a dream. I've always been scared of cats because 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:23.280 there's this terrible neighbor cat that was so mean to 0:13:23.320 --> 0:13:25.600 me growing up. So I just scared. And then about 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:27.800 fifteen years ago, I had a dream about a gray cat. 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:30.920 I've thought about this gray cat for fifteen years, you know, 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.559 thinking about one day a gray cat's going to show up. 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:36.680 I bought this house on Long Island. The morning after 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:39.000 we moved in I walked into the backyard and a 0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:41.440 gray cat walks up to me and starts nuzzling me. 0:13:41.840 --> 0:13:44.160 And I named her Joy until I found out that 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:45.960 she's a boy, So now it's Joy Boy, and joy 0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:48.960 Boy is here every single day, and it means to me, 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:54.000 I'm on the right track, right, I'm supposed to it. 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:58.040 That's such a cute story. I'm I'm into all of 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:01.640 that ship. I'm all into symbolism and signs. Hathan and 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:05.679 I just started reading this book about this neuroscientist who 0:14:05.880 --> 0:14:09.640 basically discovers mysticism and spirituality and the meaning of the 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:12.920 universe and and which scientists are like, no, nothing, never, 0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:16.520 nothing ever happens because it's supposed to everything's an accident. 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:19.240 Everything's an accident unless it's proven by science. And she 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:22.280 just had her you know, switch flipped. Either way, I 0:14:22.280 --> 0:14:23.800 think it works either way. I don't know. Well, for 0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:26.680 you it does. I'll take what I can get. She 0:14:26.880 --> 0:14:29.440 had her switch flipped, and she's like, oh no, there's 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:32.600 like a cosmic element to everything, and there's symbolism, and 0:14:32.600 --> 0:14:38.160 there's pre minisciary premoniciary, premonitionary premonitionary dreams. I think it's 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:42.280 just missionary, missionary premonitionary dreams. Like my friend Wendy always 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:44.880 has premonitionary dreams. She dreamed something and then it happens, 0:14:45.240 --> 0:14:47.200 and it's like, what's that about? You know what I mean? 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:50.080 Because we all have a like a psychic ability, and 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:52.560 I just I love that stuff. I think the more 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:56.760 open minded you are, the more you see. So well put, 0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:59.000 I used to roll my eyes at like crystals and bullshit. 0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:01.000 I always called it that until I went through my 0:15:01.000 --> 0:15:03.720 big breakup and then I someone I'm a friend brought 0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:06.360 me to a crystal store and like literally a piece 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:08.760 of stone changed my life. It's multivike and I just 0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:10.560 have hung on to it. And I thought to myself, 0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:13.160 you know, if the moon can pull the tide, there's 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:15.960 something going on with energy. So if you can just 0:15:16.000 --> 0:15:18.480 accept it as opposed to try to explain it to yourself, 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:20.520 Like I like what you said, you see things other 0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:23.560 people can't see. Yeah, if you are to walk into 0:15:23.600 --> 0:15:25.960 a room where like two people have just been arguing, 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:29.640 you feel it. That's energy. That's all that is. When 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:31.960 they say you can cut it with a knife, it's true. Well, 0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:34.280 it's also like when somebody fakes their energy when they 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:35.880 come in and they try to be happy, but you 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:37.880 can tell something's gone on and they're not in a 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:42.800 good spot. That's that's energy, and it's completely transferable and 0:15:43.120 --> 0:15:46.360 well and it's transparent, like you can totally see right 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:49.160 through it. So yeah, the people who don't take that 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:51.920 seriously or think my beliefs are my beliefs and it's 0:15:51.960 --> 0:15:54.680 intransigent and I'm not willing to change my opinion. It's like, well, 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:57.600 then you're wrong, definitely. If you're not willing to have 0:15:57.720 --> 0:16:00.800 your mind change, then you're wrong. Yeah. Yeah, And if 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:03.440 you just can accept the fact that even your instinct 0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:06.760 is energy, then there you go. Yeah, that's right there. 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:09.680 We've all felt that thing and yeah, yeah, yeah absolutely 0:16:10.160 --> 0:16:13.600 so Ross. On our podcast, we take callers and we 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:18.200 give advice, and these are real life situations and serious problems. 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:22.640 So you better have a shot of tequila and get ready. Okay, okay, 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:24.400 I'll deciding. All I have here is water, but I'm 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:26.160 going to be high. That's my breast milk that I 0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:30.280 said to you. That's yeah, yeah, it's utterly delicious thing. 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:33.840 It's almond milk. Actually, I pumped fresh almond milk every morning. 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:41.360 That's nuts. Well, let's take a quick break and we'll 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:43.800 be right back for some points. Okay, Ross and I 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:45.360 are going to give our each other a little rubber 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:54.000 ducking massage out. We'll be right back, and we're back 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:58.480 so fast. All right. Well, our first I just want 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:00.600 to mention before you start that there is a neon 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:04.080 signed behind Ross with his name written in cursive and 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:08.240 pink neon, and I would expect nothing fucking less. Thank 0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:09.680 you it all. I have a remote control and I 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:11.600 can change that to blue if you want to look 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:15.119 at that. I got this on at a little boutique 0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:19.280 called Amazon. Oh, I've never heard of Amazon. It's cute, 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:21.359 and I also had no idea it was pronounced like that, 0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:24.600 so look at me learning. I think it's French. Well, 0:17:24.640 --> 0:17:28.960 our first question comes from sad friend. Dear Chelsea, one 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:31.359 of my good friends, someone who I considered my best 0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:35.240 friend in college, just unfollowed me on Instagram. She didn't 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:37.160 tell me about this, and I just figured it out 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:40.040 three months later. I confronted her about it, and she 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:42.720 said she doesn't like my boyfriend. She told me that 0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:44.800 she didn't want to see him on my stories and 0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:48.119 my posts. The problem is this is not a new boyfriend. 0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:51.960 We've been dating for eight years all throughout college. I 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:54.640 didn't realize she disliked my boyfriend this much, and it's 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:57.240 not a sentiment I've received from any of my other friends. 0:17:57.680 --> 0:17:59.639 She mentioned once in passing that she didn't want to 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:01.520 hang around on to him, and I thought, okay, whatever, 0:18:02.000 --> 0:18:04.639 But I just think it's so weird that she unfollowed me. 0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:07.440 It also makes me think that her hatred of him 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:10.440 matters more than our friendship. I don't even hang out 0:18:10.480 --> 0:18:12.439 with them together, so I'm not sure what the problem is. 0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:14.160 Do you think it's a sign that she no longer 0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:16.280 wants to be friends and this was her way of 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:18.760 saying it. I'm not sure I even want to continue 0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:21.360 the friendship if she couldn't have an open conversation with 0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:24.600 me about this before she resorted to unfollowing me and 0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:29.240 not telling me about it. Sincerely a sad friend. Oh 0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:32.520 that hurts your feelings, That is sad. I have a 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:36.360 very strong opinion about this, though. Good tell us, okay, goodbye, 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:38.960 thank you so much. If you're gonna unfollow me after 0:18:39.000 --> 0:18:41.320 knowing me with instead of picking up the phone and saying, hey, 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:42.600 I have a real problem with your boyfriend. There's some 0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:45.160 things about him I don't like it, about his characters, 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:47.840 qualities and as a human, and I think maybe you 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:49.560 can do better. You're not going to have that grown 0:18:49.640 --> 0:18:52.560 up conversation, but you're gonna unfollow me. Well, you're not 0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:56.360 capable of being my friend anymore, Thank you so much. Next. Yeah, absolutely, 0:18:56.440 --> 0:18:59.480 I mean funk that person. Un following as somebody is 0:18:59.560 --> 0:19:02.040