Speaker 1: So the story that happened with me is someone says
Speaker 1: to me, can you stay an extra night? I know
Speaker 1: an amazing guy I want you to meet, really amazing,
Speaker 1: beyond successful, astronomically wealthy, good looking, tall, fun, can keep
Speaker 1: up with you, energy, great looking, good age, a little old,
Speaker 1: but good age. So I will just get to the punchline.
Speaker 1: I go to dinner with this person and it sort
Speaker 1: of started to tick up. And I guess if you
Speaker 1: come from an abusive household, you will sense things more quickly,
Speaker 1: Like I can send someone who has an eating disorder
Speaker 1: more quickly than someone else because of my household. I
Speaker 1: can sense abuse or anything like I could just feel it.
Speaker 1: It's just a feeling. So I could feel that the
Speaker 1: person was a little bit ornery and controlling, just in
Speaker 1: minimum actions, being like no, no. That could stay on
Speaker 1: your plate because this is the communal plate, or little
Speaker 1: sentences that you're like okay. And I was out to
Speaker 1: dinner with someone who knowing that I'm a public person,
Speaker 1: which isn't the headline, but I'm just gonna say it.
Speaker 2: Knowing that I'm a public person. We're in a public place.
Speaker 1: People are everywhere who because a server and by the
Speaker 1: way the server was bulligerent, and so was the manager.
Speaker 1: A server and then a manager had to come over
Speaker 1: hadn't brought over serving utensils, and the meat was rare
Speaker 1: that this elevated and escalated into a situation where the
Speaker 1: man that I was with was standing up like chest
Speaker 1: to chest with a host of with a manager of
Speaker 1: a restaurant, and with a not chest to ches with
Speaker 1: the waitress, but basically saying thanks to the waitress like,
Speaker 1: well then do it, and to the manager, this is
Speaker 1: fucking not done on the fucking this is bullshit. We're leaving,
Speaker 1: and to me like let's go, We're leaving, And he
Speaker 1: continued to get into this altercation with this manager and
Speaker 1: I stood up and walked out.
Speaker 2: I didn't say anything.
Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't, I just I just literally disappeared
Speaker 1: and dissolved from the situation, walked into an alley, called
Speaker 1: my driver and was like GTFO because even I don't
Speaker 1: even think if this person had a family member die
Speaker 1: on that day, it would justify treating staff like this.
Speaker 1: And by the way, he didn't punch anybody in the face,
Speaker 1: and the staff was slightly belligerent. I didn't say that
Speaker 1: on my TikTok post, and I didn't say that to
Speaker 1: the staff that I called after to apologize, because it
Speaker 1: really doesn't matter what the content is if the delivery
Speaker 1: is like this in my opinion, like whatever it was,
Speaker 1: I was like, what the fuck? And I left because
Speaker 1: I couldn't even believe it. On a first date, I
Speaker 1: couldn't believe. If we were married twenty years, I still
Speaker 1: would not be able to believe this. But I was
Speaker 1: just like, this is a snapshot of my future. We're
Speaker 1: talking good looking, smart, We're close to a billionaire, is
Speaker 1: what I've been told, Like if not a billionaire, Like
Speaker 1: we're talking checks all the boxes, And this moment happened
Speaker 1: and I got.
Speaker 2: The fuck out of there.
Speaker 3: I just well, I'm glad you got out of there.
Speaker 3: You didn't have to suffer fools. And there's a lot
Speaker 3: of things we could say about this. Number One, there's
Speaker 3: another woman in the universe who puts up with that
Speaker 3: because he's a billionaire. Someone else normalizes this behavior because
Speaker 3: what's attached to it, and having money, while amazing, doesn't
Speaker 3: buy social skills or class.
Speaker 1: What about saying that so many young girls would sit
Speaker 1: there and feel bad because who the person who set
Speaker 1: us up?
Speaker 2: What are they? What's this person going to say to them?
Speaker 2: Or am I ruined in this town?
Speaker 1: Or is this a me too moment that I'm just
Speaker 1: sitting through because I feel uncomfortable and it's awkward.
Speaker 2: It's I want to say something.
Speaker 1: It may sound easy that I stood up, It wasn't
Speaker 1: easy to stand up.
Speaker 2: It was not. It wasn't because I was in love
Speaker 2: with this man.
Speaker 1: It was because the game was moving so quickly and
Speaker 1: this altercation was about to be over, and it was
Speaker 1: like I still was aware of what this guy was
Speaker 1: going to think of me, gaslighting myself because a long
Speaker 1: time ago I walked I met a guy at his apartment.
Speaker 1: He really wanted to He was a big, big time
Speaker 1: rich producer. And this was had to me fifteen years ago,
Speaker 1: maybe longer, maybe like twenty years ago.
Speaker 2: Oh am, I yeah.
Speaker 1: And it was New York City and he lived in
Speaker 1: a major building and he wanted me to know because
Speaker 1: that's why he kept pushing me to have drinks at
Speaker 1: his house. And he met me at the door and
Speaker 1: he was on a phone call when at the door,
Speaker 1: and he was like fingered to me like one second,
Speaker 1: like you know, gesture like one second, and he proceeded
Speaker 1: to have a twenty minute phone call with somebody while
Speaker 1: I sat in his very rich, you know, person's massive
Speaker 1: apartment that like someplace that like a president would would live.
Speaker 1: And I can feel it in my body, like the
Speaker 1: blood starts to boil. I start to like it starts
Speaker 1: to ramp up. And what did I do? I waited
Speaker 1: to make sure he couldn't see me, because I didn't
Speaker 1: want a moment of him be like no, wait, come back,
Speaker 1: which was the same thing here, because that's the moment
Speaker 1: that you could get dragged back in and change your
Speaker 1: whole life. I basically waited where he couldn't really hear me,
Speaker 1: and I tiptoed out and left his apartment and walked
Speaker 1: three blocks and my friend calls, like, what the fuck?
Speaker 1: Because this was a big setup. This was like a
Speaker 1: major guy. I'm like, what the fuck? What the fuck?
Speaker 1: She's like, you just called me.
Speaker 2: I'm like, right, you don't you don't.
Speaker 1: Get on the phone and gesture and not come in
Speaker 1: and go, oh my god, I am so sorry. A
Speaker 1: deal is blowing up. I like come in and be
Speaker 1: like recognizing or this guy being like.
Speaker 2: In the middle of it, being like you know what,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna calm down. This is not me.
Speaker 1: Someone died yesterday like something. But like I say to
Speaker 1: young women, GTFO, no explanation. This is a stranger. It
Speaker 1: doesn't matter what anyone thinks. And there are many me
Speaker 1: too moments that happen as a result of just sitting
Speaker 1: there cowering, not knowing how to handle. A situation happened
Speaker 1: to me in college with a guy on the verge
Speaker 1: of date.
Speaker 2: Raping me, like just pushing it too far.
Speaker 1: And then but if you get aggressive, like no app
Speaker 1: get off me, like it's hard to do. In the moment,
Speaker 1: the guy was like a very good looking guy. I
Speaker 1: was dying to go out with him. We went at
Speaker 1: I was like ahead of my skis. I had had
Speaker 1: too much to drink, and I just mustered it up
Speaker 1: because I grew up with animals at the racetrack and
Speaker 1: I'm tough. Some girls aren't as tough, so you have
Speaker 1: to be that tough when that feeling comes.
Speaker 4: Up, I'm sorry I had to go through that.
Speaker 3: I one d percent agree, And it brings up a
Speaker 3: sort of an interesting, challenging societal question.
Speaker 4: Is this is this biology?
Speaker 3: Is this sociology where women are taught to get along,
Speaker 3: make peace, bury their feelings, because there's a big, big
Speaker 3: part of my coaching is listen to your feelings. If
Speaker 3: a guy is making you feel anxious, unsafe, unseen, act
Speaker 3: on that. But a lot of people bend over backwards
Speaker 3: to not make people uncomfortable. I have women to go
Speaker 3: out with men on dates and dates and dates and dates,
Speaker 3: and they don't like them. They're not attracted to them.
Speaker 3: They don't want to hurt him just by saying no,
Speaker 3: I don't want to go out with you.
Speaker 4: That feels too aggressive to them.
Speaker 3: So such people pleasers that they end up not being
Speaker 3: pleased themselves. So where do you where do you think
Speaker 3: this comes from, Bethany.
Speaker 1: Well, it comes from It comes from the same women
Speaker 1: want to give men extra credit points for the basic bullshit.
Speaker 1: And it comes from young girls being marketed to get
Speaker 1: the ring, get the dress, get you don't have to work,
Speaker 1: And then they all end up in their fifties on
Speaker 1: pills and alcohol and a call to sac and the
Speaker 1: men get the custody of the kids because they just
Speaker 1: wanted the bullshit fairy tale versus working for themselves, having
Speaker 1: their own independence. You know why, I can get the
Speaker 1: hell up from that table. I got my own driver
Speaker 1: waiting right there to get in the car, and I
Speaker 1: don't need this guy's money. Would it be great to
Speaker 1: be with some billionaire on his boat and his plane.
Speaker 2: Yeah, at my level with what I'm dealing with.
Speaker 1: Them, with the rare air of the opportunities that I have,
Speaker 1: and that I can't date a normal guy, yeah, fuck that,
Speaker 1: though I'd rather be alone. So what that comes from
Speaker 1: is being successful. I guarantee you if I were broke,
Speaker 1: flat broke, I would I mean knowing me no, because
Speaker 1: I was flat broke when I left that other guy
Speaker 1: at the door. But you never know. You never know
Speaker 1: if you're flat broke. You might stay there longer, you
Speaker 1: might drink it pretty.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'll never know, because I'll never be flat broke. But
Speaker 1: women have to have their own independence and not feel
Speaker 1: like they just are going to take the scraps.
Speaker 3: And I agree. And most of the women who come
Speaker 3: to me are not worth one hundred million dollars. But
Speaker 3: most of my clients are highly successful women, and they
Speaker 3: are independent and they don't need a man to financially
Speaker 3: take care of them, and they stay too long in
Speaker 3: situations where they do not feel safe, they do not
Speaker 3: feel like he is trustworthy. Right, the amount of and
Speaker 3: we're agreeing, the amount of bullshit that women put up
Speaker 3: with is remarkable. Under again, it probably does have to
Speaker 3: do with like some sort of child childhood psychology. This
Speaker 3: is what's normal. The man is the man is verbally
Speaker 3: abusive to the woman, and the woman. My parents have
Speaker 3: been married for fifty years. They don't talk, but they've
Speaker 3: been married for fifty years, and so that's what she
Speaker 3: grew up witnessing is the shell of a person.
Speaker 1: I also think women are acutely aware that there's another
Speaker 1: woman that's totally going to be willing to take to
Speaker 1: put up with that.
Speaker 4: Great.
Speaker 3: Now we're getting somewhere, So who fucking cares that someone
Speaker 3: else is willing to pick up You're rich, trashed guy.
Speaker 3: You're not losing a billion dollars, You're gaining freedom. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's the thing, is this social comparison, this money status thing.
Speaker 3: I have to hold onto this guy because he's a
Speaker 3: prize to show off to my friends. Yes not how
Speaker 3: many you know better than I do. How many rich,
Speaker 3: miserable people are there?
Speaker 2: Very well, they're rich every people.
Speaker 3: But yeah, right, right, It's not unique to the rich.
Speaker 3: It's just the idea that if I have money, all
Speaker 3: my problems will go away. No, your money problems will
Speaker 3: go away. But this is the great thing. When you
Speaker 3: have money, you can actually marry for love. Money's a bonus.
Speaker 3: I'm not saying it's bad. It's that when you have money,
Speaker 3: it gives you the freedom I've always said, Rupert Murdoch
Speaker 3: doesn't worry about marrying another billionaire. He wants to blonde
Speaker 3: thirty years younger.
Speaker 1: That's different though, because men are stereotypically successful. Men have
Speaker 1: stereotypically desired someone who's going to be on their program,
Speaker 1: someone who's just going to roll with their program, because
Speaker 1: they're used to getting what they want, Which is why
Speaker 1: often two powerhouses can be challenging.
Speaker 4: Right, which which which which brings it?
Speaker 3: I mean, whether you want to or not, doesn't this
Speaker 3: bring us back to you, do you need another powerhouse
Speaker 3: or do you want a guy who.
Speaker 4: Rolls with your program?
Speaker 2: I need another powerhouse for sure.
Speaker 1: Okay, because there because I also think that what I've
Speaker 1: just said is slightly archaic. I think this if someone
Speaker 1: is a superficial guy that just wants the Bimbo prize.
Speaker 1: Then that's different. I wouldn't be attracted to that guy anyway.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. But there are a number of very
Speaker 1: successful smart men that have been through the gold digger
Speaker 1: young woman that has no purpose program and they want
Speaker 1: someone to talk to the world is more entrepreneurial than
Speaker 1: it's been in a long time, and I see men
Speaker 1: really wanting to talk about ideas more than ever. Entrepreneurial
Speaker 1: ideas a concept, and I think that that's hard to
Speaker 1: do with a dumb dumb that's going to follow your
Speaker 1: program around. Men can't just get that from other men
Speaker 1: on the golf course.
Speaker 4: I agree. Can we slice that and dice that more?
Speaker 4: Or am I allowed to?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 3: So a absolutely positively any man worth his salt wants
Speaker 3: an intelligent woman who could keep up and lead the conversation.
Speaker 3: Why I have so much fun talking to you? So
Speaker 3: like absolutely one true that I think the metaphor I'm
Speaker 3: using is in his situation and your situation. The reason
Speaker 3: that you're both mega rich is that you're both the sun. Right,
Speaker 3: you'll both have your own gravitational pulls, So it's your program.
Speaker 3: Like to get on the program with you, we had
Speaker 3: to reschedule four times because you've got a million things
Speaker 3: going on. You got more things going on than I do. Right,
Speaker 3: So another guy who's as busy and takes up as
Speaker 3: much space as you do, Right, is he going to
Speaker 3: be the best fit even though he would value you.
Speaker 3: You could be attracted to each each other, but you
Speaker 3: might have too much gravitational pull. Might be a guy
Speaker 3: who's got a little bit less.
Speaker 1: I don't want someone. I want someone. I don't want
Speaker 1: someone in their action era. I want them to be
Speaker 1: just past their action era, but they find all this
Speaker 1: completely adorable, like where they just they've done it. They
Speaker 1: could do it if they want. They're doing it in parts.
Speaker 1: But I'm not attracted to a man who's as hungry
Speaker 1: as I am at all. It's a turn off to
Speaker 1: me because I still feel I still feel this is
Speaker 1: the wrong use of the word because you talk about
Speaker 1: it in your concept, But in some way, I still
Speaker 1: feel like the intern of mogul life, like I still
Speaker 1: have some things I'm going to do and pop off.
Speaker 1: I want someone who's already popped off and secure in
Speaker 1: the fact that they've popped off big enough that they're
Speaker 1: secure in that so they could advise me. They could,
Speaker 1: you know, be sometimes a dad figure and help me
Speaker 1: with certain areas of business, which is a role that
Speaker 1: I sometimes fall into, and I sometimes fall into the
Speaker 1: mother role someone because I've had guys say to me,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this is so inspiring and it's making
Speaker 1: me want to do everything. I don't want a guy
Speaker 1: on social media, and I don't want a guy who
Speaker 1: my actions making them want to be living in action.
Speaker 3: I do not want that, Okay, And I agree with you,
Speaker 3: not that it doesn't matters what I have to say
Speaker 3: about your love life, but I but I agree with you.
Speaker 4: That that's accurate.
Speaker 3: I also think it makes it more challenging because it
Speaker 3: becomes even a narrow lane.
Speaker 1: Not only the lane. The lane is three people in
Speaker 1: the whole world to find.
Speaker 3: That not only do I need a guy who's as
Speaker 3: successful as I am, but we need that guy to
Speaker 3: have stepped off the success ladder and be ready to coast.
Speaker 3: And a lot of those guys there's a reason that
Speaker 3: they grind. All they care about is work, power, money, right, And.
Speaker 2: I'm man attracted to that guy.
Speaker 4: So I didn't say you are.
Speaker 3: I'm saying there's a lot of those guys that's why
Speaker 3: they get so big, is their workaholics.
Speaker 1: No, but at a certain age, they're calming it down
Speaker 1: at a certain age, don't I don't worry as much.
Speaker 1: I don't worry that much about that. I don't worry
Speaker 1: about it at all because it is what it is.
Speaker 1: But then to your point, you know, if you're getting
Speaker 1: into attachment styles and horoscopes and geography and financial and
Speaker 1: spiritual and how many kids they have and are they divorced, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a tiny, tiny sample tiny And this person is
Speaker 1: not on an app. So this is why I could
Speaker 1: end up alone because I'm not going to settle so
Speaker 1: and a lot of women are really really leaning into
Speaker 1: the alone program because they just don't want to jeopardize
Speaker 1: their peace. But I'm not putting that out into the
Speaker 1: universe because I don't want that. I'm just being comfortable
Speaker 1: in that as a possibility because it's a reality.
Speaker 4: I think that is uh.
Speaker 3: I'm tho Zen Buddhists, But we do have to have
Speaker 3: some measure of non attachment. We could desire something, but
Speaker 3: not put our entire happiness and meaning on the thing
Speaker 3: that may or may not happen. That it kind of
Speaker 3: goes for every day. We kind of have to live
Speaker 3: in limbo. We don't know what tomorrow brings or tomorrow
Speaker 3: brings you generous with the La Fires, I came this
Speaker 3: close to losing my house on the La Fires fire
Speaker 3: and here fire here that's way bigger than me. If
Speaker 3: the if the economy tanks because of all the crazy
Speaker 3: stuff that's going on, you know, it's going to affect
Speaker 3: all of us.
Speaker 4: Nothing I could do about it.
Speaker 3: So I think all you could do is, you know,
Speaker 3: act with integrity, keep on working hard, and put out
Speaker 3: good stuff to the world that they could trust you
Speaker 3: and that they want to be with you. I think
Speaker 3: there's just I'm not an energy woo guy, but there's
Speaker 3: definitely an energy that you get in exchange from people
Speaker 3: that either brings you something or drains you. And I
Speaker 3: think what you're seeing is that a lot of these
Speaker 3: these controlling, narcissistic guys are just draining.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they're tiring.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Bud want to walk to the utterm