WEBVTT - FORGET YOUR GROCERIES FOREVER 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:01.080 Hello, what's up? 0:00:01.840 --> 0:00:02.480 Hey? What's up? 0:00:02.480 --> 0:00:02.600 Man? 0:00:02.640 --> 0:00:03.160 What's your name? 0:00:03.320 --> 0:00:05.880 I'm Rory. Nice to talk to you, man. This is 0:00:06.040 --> 0:00:06.880 fucking crazy. 0:00:07.240 --> 0:00:08.680 It's nice to talk to you too. Man. Have we 0:00:08.880 --> 0:00:09.960 have we spoken before? 0:00:11.119 --> 0:00:13.320 No? This is my first time kick. 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:18.079 Ass rock and roll? Who are you, Rory? 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:23.840 I'm a I'm a little dude. I'm a little I 0:00:23.880 --> 0:00:29.400 don't know, I'm a man. This is so crazy. I 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:31.920 just did not even think i'd get on the phone. 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:36.239 I don't know, man, I'm a guy. I own a lizard. 0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:42.320 I'm going to a show later. Do you know who 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:43.199 mount Eerie is? 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:45.320 Mount Erie? 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:51.680 Yeah, it's like really weird like sad music and I'm 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:52.959 super excited for it. 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:56.520 What what is it about mount Erie that appeals to you? 0:00:57.200 --> 0:01:00.440 What is it about the sad music that appeals to you? 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:07.399 I don't know. It's like just so intense m hm 0:01:07.800 --> 0:01:10.520 and uh. A lot of it's kind of like it 0:01:10.600 --> 0:01:12.000 kind of writes a lot about it, like a lot 0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:13.679 of bullshit, but a lot of it's just like so 0:01:14.000 --> 0:01:19.039 like stule crushing that it's just it's like an experience. 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:20.600 I don't know, and I've never seen him live and 0:01:20.640 --> 0:01:21.400 I'm really excited. 0:01:22.240 --> 0:01:26.080 Do you find that listening to sad depressing music makes 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:28.720 you feel better or worse because it's a bit it's 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:29.559 a mixed bag. 0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:37.280 I really, man, I can talk about this for like ever, 0:01:37.480 --> 0:01:40.920 but I really I don't know. It's kind of it 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:45.720 kind of just depends. Like I'm a fan of like 0:01:45.840 --> 0:01:50.360 lots of crazy shit, Like I'm a fan of lots 0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:56.760 of music that's just like orderline unlistenable because it's just 0:01:56.960 --> 0:02:04.920 so intense. I don't know, Like music is just a 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:10.040 thing that not to get all like I don't know 0:02:11.120 --> 0:02:15.440 what's the word emotional or whatever about it, but like 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:18.400 music is just a thing that like there's so much 0:02:18.440 --> 0:02:22.520 opportunity for people to just like express the craziest, the 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:26.400 craziest fucking shit that you can that you can't otherwise. 0:02:26.919 --> 0:02:28.760 You know, yeah, sure. 0:02:30.320 --> 0:02:34.040 That's totally just like a normal thing anybody can get 0:02:34.120 --> 0:02:37.080 from that. But like listening to like sad music is 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:40.480 like if it's done right, it's like and it connects 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:42.200 with you in a way. It's like you can feel 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:44.400 things you've never felt or sending with like angry music, 0:02:44.440 --> 0:02:47.839 Like I love a lot of angry music and also 0:02:47.880 --> 0:02:52.240 happy music too, Like I love I'm a sound guy 0:02:52.600 --> 0:02:54.400 and at the I was working this show the other 0:02:54.480 --> 0:03:00.560 night with like some like I don't know, there wasn't 0:03:00.600 --> 0:03:05.120 really like punk bands. I guess they're like hard rock bands. 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:10.040 But I was playing like for the house music between 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:11.799 the bands, you know, I'm playing like stuff like that 0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:15.160 and people are yelling and screaming and stuff. But when 0:03:15.200 --> 0:03:17.959 it was like dawn, I had to put on Demiroquai. 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:24.560 And sometimes I'll put on just like just like amazing 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:27.640 gospel and funk and stuff just to like it's just 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:29.880 I have to clear the air though, like if I'm 0:03:29.919 --> 0:03:32.640 around too much. But I don't know if that makes sense. 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:35.960 But what what is you said, Demiroquai? What is that? 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:40.880 You know the scene at the end of Napoleon Dynamite 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:41.640 where he's dancing. 0:03:42.960 --> 0:03:47.080 I vaguely, yeah. 0:03:46.280 --> 0:03:48.680 It's like that. It's like that's that's the guy that 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:49.520 he was dancing too. 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:56.720 Mmm do you? I mean, do you? It's interesting. I was. 0:03:56.840 --> 0:04:00.120 I remember about a little over a year or ago. 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:06.880 I was really uh sad, and I woke up one 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:09.160 day at like seven in the morning and it was 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:14.280 snowing out, and I walked down the street in the 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:18.760 snow in New York and I listened to a bunch 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:22.200 of Simon and Garfunkel. I listened to the Only Living 0:04:22.240 --> 0:04:26.240 Boy in New York, which is what you know. Here's 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:29.080 the thing, and I want to say this. At the time, 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:36.520 it absolutely made me feel more depressed. Listening to the 0:04:36.560 --> 0:04:39.960 Only Living Boy in New York while being depressed in 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:42.919 New York. Will it will make you more depressed. But 0:04:43.000 --> 0:04:46.400 when I look back on the scene of me being 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:48.920 depressed walking through the snow listening to Only Living Boy 0:04:48.920 --> 0:04:51.760 in New York, it's kind. There's it's it is romantic, 0:04:52.640 --> 0:04:57.320 I would say, looking at it from that point of view, 0:04:57.320 --> 0:04:59.119 But I don't know if it made me feel better. 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:04.440 Whereas convert if I listen what did I fucking you know, 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:07.920 when you listen to like, uh, I'm gonna sound like 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:10.440 an that, when you listen to like upbeat, like what 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:13.640 like fucking rap music or like rock or whatever, like 0:05:13.680 --> 0:05:16.520 you feel you feel good, You feel like, Okay, you're alive, 0:05:16.640 --> 0:05:19.640 something's happening, you know. I've never I don't know if 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:23.039 I actively feel I feel I think, yeah, it's sad music. 0:05:23.040 --> 0:05:25.880 It puts me too too deep in my emotions, which 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:29.160 maybe you don't want to feel all the time, you. 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:34.479 Know, But like not all the time? Do I want 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:37.920 to listen to like happy upbeat stuff, you know? Yeah, 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:43.839 Like it's kind of I don't know. Like one of 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:50.640 my favorite musicians is uh or just songwriters is Elliott Smith. 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:53.080 I don't know if you're familiar with him, but he's 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:58.680 that's like a very sad guy. And I'll listen to 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:00.960 that stuff when I'm not sad, you know, because. 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:03.279 He he was he was in a band, right. 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:08.120 He had a band called Heat miser okay, and then 0:06:08.720 --> 0:06:10.919 he did his solo stuff after that. He might have 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:12.280 some more stuff in between there, but. 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:18.320 Uh, yeah, I think uh I used to Uh, there's 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:23.640 there's this comedian Chris Gethard who's talked about Elliott Smith before. 0:06:23.880 --> 0:06:26.640 Did he he didn't see he's not in the cure? 0:06:27.160 --> 0:06:27.280 Is he? 0:06:27.480 --> 0:06:28.440 Is that a different person? 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:29.640 No, that's Robert Smith. 0:06:30.200 --> 0:06:34.360 Oh okay, all right, that's a good guy. But are 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:39.000 you Are you sad? Often? I? 0:06:39.240 --> 0:06:44.960 You know, I used to be like just miserable all 0:06:45.040 --> 0:06:54.479 the time. And yeah, and I don't feel as like 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:58.159 when I get when the things come up that like 0:06:58.400 --> 0:07:00.440 or like when a feeling comes up and I feel 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:03.720 like how I felt like a couple of years ago, 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:09.720 I'm like surprised now and it's like kind of crazy, 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:11.000 why are you? 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:14.320 Why are you not miserable every day anymore? 0:07:16.480 --> 0:07:24.560 I had lots of like outside pressures on me for 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:28.200 like lots of things. I don't know, Like I was 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:31.920 in two relationships that were really terrible I had. I 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:35.360 went to like a weird sort of college prep high school, 0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:38.480 and then I went to this like very prestigious college 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:43.920 and couldn't fucking handle it and it was like miserable. 0:07:44.080 --> 0:07:47.600 And then I was like working as a house painter 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:50.120 and that was like, I mean, it's cool. I like 0:07:50.160 --> 0:07:51.520 would have been my uncle, but it was just like 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:54.520 this sucks, like what am I doing? And then and 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:57.840 then I had a lot of like I think I 0:07:57.920 --> 0:08:00.280 kind of just like proved to myself that I could 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:03.080 like do things for myself and I could like do 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:09.400 things that were like self affirming and uh and I 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:14.320 don't know, and I just kind of I started like 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:18.680 taking better care of myself. And you talked about a 0:08:18.720 --> 0:08:21.040 lot about journaling. I was like journaling. I was writing. 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:26.680 I was like making music. I was like making making 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:29.560 art and not really doing anything with it, but just 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:34.000 like having it. And then I got like I went 0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:36.400 back to school, I got a degree in something I 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:40.960 was interested in and interested in, and then like, I 0:08:40.960 --> 0:08:46.040 don't know, I just kind of now now I'm now 0:08:46.040 --> 0:08:49.640 I'm like miserable in a way where it's like like fuck, 0:08:49.679 --> 0:08:51.360 I'm not doing all the things that like I should 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:56.559 be doing that like I want to be doing, and 0:08:56.880 --> 0:08:59.840 uh it's like a it's like a different kind of 0:08:59.880 --> 0:09:05.680 like it's like a I was I saw this thing 0:09:05.679 --> 0:09:10.520 about like with with desire comes suffering, and I want 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:12.520 I want to say I'm like suffering, but like I 0:09:12.559 --> 0:09:17.880 have desires and like it's I'm not like where I 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:20.319 want to be, so it's like kissing me off. 0:09:20.320 --> 0:09:25.559 Al yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm I'm the same. I'm not 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:27.600 where I want to be either, and I I I 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:35.199 also feel desire strongly and uh yeah yeah, desire. Yeah, 0:09:35.280 --> 0:09:37.880 desire is suffering. I think a lot of my suffering 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:41.920 is probably due to desire. Like you look at your 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:44.520 life and it's like not where you want it to be, 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:49.680 and so you're you're like making yourself suffer. And I 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:51.760 don't know, there's two schools of thought on well, there's 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:54.880 probably many schools of thought on it, but uh, you know, 0:09:55.080 --> 0:09:57.559 whatever there's a school of thought of like, okay, well, 0:09:57.600 --> 0:09:59.800 then to you you want, you got to get what 0:09:59.840 --> 0:10:03.440 you want, or you got to remove the desire or 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:08.040 not desire so much. I don't know. I don't know 0:10:08.080 --> 0:10:10.559 how to deal with that conundrum. That's a conundrum I'm 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:17.520 dealing with myself significantly often. What what but you're less miserable, 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:19.280 You're less miserable. What is it? What is it about 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:21.360 your life it's making you less miserable. 0:10:24.240 --> 0:10:26.880 I think I had a lot of change all at once, 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:37.400 and it was like positive change, and I had a 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:41.560 I mean, this might sound super fucking cheesy and go 0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:43.280 for it. I don't know, it's kind of weird to 0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:44.800 like share this in front of a bunch of people. 0:10:44.840 --> 0:10:48.320 I had this like I had a breakup that kind 0:10:48.360 --> 0:10:51.959 of like destroyed my sense of self a little bit. 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:55.640 And I think that was like kind of like the 0:10:55.960 --> 0:11:02.560 something I needed something to kind of like be like, yo, dude, 0:11:03.559 --> 0:11:07.520 are you kind of fucking I don't know, need to 0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:11.960 like work on some stuff and uh yeah. And then 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:15.800 I went to I used to like better help for 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:17.480 a little bit and I was talking to this guy 0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:20.280 named Zachary, who was like really amazing and he really 0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:25.240 helped me, and he like told me like, uh, the journal, 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:26.679 and he told me to have this like. 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:32.800 Disclaimer, I did not pay this guy to call in. Okay, continue, 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:33.840 I was gonna say that. 0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:36.040 I didn't mean to, Like no. 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:37.559 No, no, no, no, I want to I actually want to 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:39.240 hear hear more about this. You got you got you 0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:42.320 talk to a guy and he got you to journal. 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:45.599 Yeah. I just had this Like I meant this or 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:48.960 didn't meet him. I just I fucking paid this that 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:52.520 online service to like I was just kind of like desperate, 0:11:52.679 --> 0:11:54.480 like I didn't know and like, but I randomly like 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:57.920 got matched with this guy and we had he we 0:11:57.960 --> 0:11:59.640 had like so much in common. It was really weird. 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:05.080 And he told me, Uh, we did a lot of 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:07.960 I don't even like really specifically remember like what we did. 0:12:07.960 --> 0:12:12.240 For like the we did some like cognitive behavioral therapy 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:15.400 stuff where like when you get like a yeah, when 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:19.240 like someone like a certain idea or a certain thing 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:22.280 you have like comes up, just like immediately try to 0:12:22.360 --> 0:12:27.640 negate it. And it was like really fucking difficult. But 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:29.640 I was going through all that stuff at the same 0:12:29.720 --> 0:12:34.040 time that I was like I started uh school again 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:37.640 and I went back to I went back to college 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:40.880 and I went to music school, and and I like, 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:46.360 I don't know, now I work in the industry, and 0:12:46.400 --> 0:12:50.800 I'm like it was just crazy. It was just kind 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:54.560 of like for like three years or so, I just 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:59.600 things kept like accumulating, and I kept being like, Wow, 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:02.880 I can do that, I can do that, And of 0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:06.040 course it was like I don't know a fucking shit. 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:08.079 Things that are like really fucking hard and you have 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:10.360 to like work really hard, and like I'm not anywhere 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:12.800 near where I want to be, And like tonight the 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:16.040 show that I'm going to, my friend is doing sound 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:21.640 for them, and my and uh, their girlfriend got me 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:26.680 the job at the venue that uh all three of 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:31.040 us work at, and oh my god, like them two 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:33.960 there's so much better than I am at doing this ship. 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:36.840 And it's like, so I'm gonna go there tonight and 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:39.920 I'm just gonna try to, like, you know, talk to 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:42.360 them and see what's like, Hey, what are you doing 0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:47.480 for this? But it's like, yeah, it's really fucking hard, 0:13:47.640 --> 0:13:51.640 Like everything is always really hard, but like I just 0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:58.360 kind of got so fucking sick of like feeling shitty, 0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:02.360 and uh, I don't know, I just pushed. Something just 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:04.440 snapped and I pushed myself. And I know it's like 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:06.560 easier to say, it's easier to say than to do, 0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:16.440 but I I don't know, it's just, uh, it kind 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:19.200 of like started manifesting, and like I'm getting so pissed 0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:22.640 off that I'm like, I don't know if manifesting is 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:24.600 the right word. It turned into just me getting like 0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:27.280 more pissed off than like anything, more irritable than like 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:31.600 I'm just like upset with myself, and I just like 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:39.280 couldn't really, I don't know, I just couldn't deal with 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:42.600 that anymore. You know, Yeah, I do know. 0:14:45.240 --> 0:14:45.840 How old are you? 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:49.680 I am twenty eight. I just turned I turned twenty 0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:51.040 eight a couple of months ago. 0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:55.680 Nice. Yeah, well that's cool man. It's cool that you 0:14:56.320 --> 0:15:00.960 uh had, like, like I don't know, this series of 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:07.240 self affirming things happened. So therapy worked, is what you're saying. 0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:11.000 It worked for me. That was like I went to 0:15:11.000 --> 0:15:12.800 therapy when I was younger. I had a couple of 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:15.520 different therapists and they were fucking stupid. They were so 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:16.520 fucking stupid. 0:15:16.760 --> 0:15:19.480 So many yeah, yeah, there's so many fucking stupid therapists 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:20.520 out there. Yeah, keep going. 0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:27.920 They like did not understand like what I was trying 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:30.760 to talk about. I literally had a therapist fall asleep 0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:37.920 on me one time, not even kidding. And yeah, it 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:40.840 was just like randomly. I was like it was like 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:45.040 one in the morning. I remember, I was like all 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:47.360 on panic attack, like I can't fucking do this shit, 0:15:47.440 --> 0:15:49.080 I don't know what's going on. And I just was like, 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:52.840 I this this better help. Shit. I don't even know. 0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:54.360 I don't even know what else I could do. And 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:56.200 then I was with that guy for a couple of months, 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:59.800 and it was like more expensive than like it should 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:03.240 have been, but that's why I was in with him 0:16:03.240 --> 0:16:05.200 for a couple of months. But yeah, it was cool. 0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:08.160 When when, so what what? How long ago was it 0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:09.840 that you were It was one am and you were like, 0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:10.880 I can't fucking do this. 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:18.080 I was it was in September and I was twenty four, 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:21.440 so that was like three and a half years ago 0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:22.000 or something. 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:24.880 M do you feel and you feel better now than 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:25.520 you did then? 0:16:27.120 --> 0:16:34.160 Yeah? Definitely cool. I remember I was like walking across 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:38.080 this bridge all the time to go to classes. Oh yeah, 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:43.400 and I mean I was just like, yeah, thinking about 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:43.960 it all the time. 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:48.160 Yea, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:50.480 But you know what, ok that ship? Oh yeah, I 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:53.400 mean yeah, oh. 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:57.760 Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, there's yeah no, there's 0:16:57.760 --> 0:16:59.760 so many things to try. I don't know why I'm 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:04.560 on the so much. I'm on I'm I'm this is all, 0:17:04.640 --> 0:17:06.520 this is this, Yeah, dude, I don't know. There's so 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:09.920 many things to try. There's so many things to try. 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:12.160 There's so many things to have, and. 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:15.119 Just in general, man like having a childlike sense of 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:21.080 wonder is the most important thing, because like, well, you 0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:22.600 go ahead with it. You were to say, I don't know. 0:17:25.400 --> 0:17:28.480 Oh god, don't ask me. What am I trying out lately? 0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:36.399 All right? Okay, well fuck when am I trying lately? 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:40.640 I should? I gotta try more, I gotta try different things. 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:46.480 I was did I I? Oh god, I can't remember 0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:48.520 what I've talked about on the podcast already and what 0:17:48.600 --> 0:17:53.560 I haven't, but I think I might. I think I've 0:17:53.600 --> 0:17:55.359 said this before, but I'll just say it again. I 0:17:55.440 --> 0:17:57.680 was in Japan and I was going kind of insane, 0:17:57.720 --> 0:18:02.119 and I called my friend and and I was I 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:04.480 was telling him I was going insane, and he was like, 0:18:05.160 --> 0:18:07.879 you gotta do stuff man like me. He was my 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:10.959 friend was like, you know, me and my friends we 0:18:11.040 --> 0:18:15.720 go out to trivia every Wednesday. You know, he wasn't 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:21.439 a he wasn't being particularly uh he's very logistical. It 0:18:21.480 --> 0:18:23.600 wasn't He's not a very emotional guy. He was like, 0:18:23.640 --> 0:18:25.800 me and my friends got out to trivia every Wednesday, 0:18:26.200 --> 0:18:30.040 and you can't kill yourself if you have trivia on Wednesdays. 0:18:30.200 --> 0:18:33.600 Yeah, you know something. You have said that on the podcast, 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:37.800 and I have thought that exact thing like a bunch 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:41.439 of times, like that's such a that's such a like 0:18:42.440 --> 0:18:45.520 good way to say that you can't kill yourself if 0:18:45.520 --> 0:18:46.199 you're at trivia. 0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:48.840 Okay, I have said that on the podgast you just 0:18:48.880 --> 0:18:51.479 need something, you need things to do. I think one 0:18:51.520 --> 0:18:55.919 of my tribes gott you know, yeah, I mean you 0:18:55.960 --> 0:18:57.640 need things to do. What am I trying? I gotta 0:18:57.640 --> 0:18:59.760 try more? I gotta I mean whatever, man, I'm going. 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:03.360 What am I trying? I mean, I'm I'm waking up, 0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:11.520 you know, I'm fucking yeah, I'm trying, you know, trying 0:19:11.520 --> 0:19:16.160 more things. We gotta I don't know. This is such 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:18.480 a weird thing. This is a weird thing. This has 0:19:18.520 --> 0:19:23.160 evolved into I don't know, keep going Rory. What else? 0:19:24.000 --> 0:19:27.320 What else is you gotta advice? You gottny you got 0:19:27.320 --> 0:19:31.080 any advice for the people? Roy about about uh how 0:19:31.119 --> 0:19:35.600 to be how to how to transcend? 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:44.800 Yeah, I mean, well ship, I don't know, it's kind 0:19:44.800 --> 0:19:50.399 of just you know, it's it's, uh, yeah, you gotta 0:19:50.480 --> 0:19:58.920 try stuff. You gotta just do something. I don't know, like, uh, 0:19:59.480 --> 0:20:03.160 you know, let me let me take let me take 0:20:03.200 --> 0:20:06.280 like a little bit of a long approach to this, 0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:09.440 but I'll make it quick. So you were talking about 0:20:09.440 --> 0:20:13.200 how like there's two schools of like desire, right, There's 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:16.439 like should I desire more? Should I desire less? To 0:20:16.480 --> 0:20:26.800 be happy? And yeah, it's kind of like, yeah, yesterday 0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:35.360 I was at my girlfriend's house and her mom was like, man, 0:20:35.440 --> 0:20:38.399 I went to the store and I was trying to 0:20:38.440 --> 0:20:45.600 get spray olive oil and then also like normal olive 0:20:45.640 --> 0:20:49.640 oil whatever, the actual oil because she needed to cook 0:20:49.720 --> 0:20:52.080 to use it to cook something with like the actual oil. 0:20:52.280 --> 0:20:55.000 And and then she was like and I forgot the spray. 0:20:55.040 --> 0:20:57.040 I forgot the normal one, so now I just have 0:20:57.080 --> 0:21:01.159 the spray one. And I was like, holy fuck, Like 0:21:03.280 --> 0:21:07.359 my you know, she's my girlfriend's mom, so she's older 0:21:07.359 --> 0:21:10.840 than me. And I was like, man, my entire life 0:21:11.840 --> 0:21:15.200 is just gonna be like like I'm gonna have to 0:21:15.359 --> 0:21:17.119 I just did that ship the other day. I forgot 0:21:17.160 --> 0:21:19.560 fucking bananas at the grocery store and the whole point 0:21:19.600 --> 0:21:22.160 to be going was to get shipped from my smoothies 0:21:22.200 --> 0:21:25.439 in the morning, and I forgot the fucking bananas. And 0:21:25.840 --> 0:21:28.240 I'm just gonna have to do that. My whole life 0:21:28.320 --> 0:21:31.719 is just forget stuff at the grocery store, among other things. 0:21:31.840 --> 0:21:36.760 It's just gonna be this like awful, Like it's like 0:21:36.880 --> 0:21:41.159 it that it'll just never stop and and and like 0:21:43.560 --> 0:21:48.760 you can't like care about that, you can't like let 0:21:48.760 --> 0:21:55.040 it like bother you. That like life is just kind 0:21:55.040 --> 0:22:00.040 of gonna be full of like disappointments and frustrations. You 0:22:00.080 --> 0:22:04.640 just got to find something fucking cool and like give 0:22:04.640 --> 0:22:07.240 a shit about it and give a shit about that 0:22:08.200 --> 0:22:12.360 and like yeah, and that's gonna be full of fucking frustrations. 0:22:12.400 --> 0:22:18.720 I've been in like literally twenty different bands and none 0:22:18.760 --> 0:22:21.960 of them have got take I've gotten off the ground. 0:22:22.760 --> 0:22:25.359 And I have friends of mine who were just playing 0:22:25.400 --> 0:22:33.480 these like this amazingly large show. They two of my 0:22:33.560 --> 0:22:37.360 friend's bands were opening for Jack white in front of 0:22:38.720 --> 0:22:42.200 five four hundred people or something like that, and there's 0:22:42.280 --> 0:22:44.359 like all these awesome pictures of them, and I'm so 0:22:44.560 --> 0:22:50.879 happy for them, and but I was like, damn, like 0:22:50.920 --> 0:22:53.320 I want to do that so bad. I've wanted to 0:22:53.320 --> 0:22:55.399 do that for shit like that for so long. But 0:22:56.359 --> 0:22:59.440 I kind of that kind of makes it come back 0:22:59.480 --> 0:23:01.960 to like the point like that sounds sad. I don't 0:23:02.000 --> 0:23:04.040 mean that in a sad thing a sad way. I 0:23:04.080 --> 0:23:07.560 guess for me, it's just like an aggressor or like 0:23:07.600 --> 0:23:10.520 a like I'm gonna do that. I don't know, I'm 0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:12.119 gonna do shit cool shit that I want to do. 0:23:14.160 --> 0:23:16.280 I don't know. Does that make am I just bullshitting? 0:23:16.280 --> 0:23:17.640 Does that make sound? No? 0:23:17.640 --> 0:23:19.520 No, no, no, no, You're not appleshing at all. You're 0:23:19.520 --> 0:23:21.320 making You're making a lot of Well I'm trying to 0:23:21.320 --> 0:23:25.639 think about this because I have go I mean, I 0:23:25.840 --> 0:23:31.200 went to you know, I fucking toured around Australia and 0:23:31.359 --> 0:23:34.199 Europe and did these shows and they were awesome. They 0:23:34.200 --> 0:23:40.199 were a lot of fun. They were great. But you know, 0:23:40.880 --> 0:23:44.879 I'm still and I still want to do that stuff, 0:23:44.880 --> 0:23:47.280 and I still want to keep doing cool shit and 0:23:47.320 --> 0:23:49.680 trying my best to do cool shit. But I don't 0:23:49.720 --> 0:23:54.680 know if playing a show to a bunch of people 0:23:55.680 --> 0:23:59.439 is like the it's really cool. Uh, you know, I 0:23:59.480 --> 0:24:02.119 want to keep doing it, and it's cool to like 0:24:02.200 --> 0:24:04.919 be in the moment of whatever it is that you're doing. 0:24:07.280 --> 0:24:10.440 But I don't know if it's the on and off 0:24:10.520 --> 0:24:16.240 switch for like being less fucking like miserable all the time, 0:24:17.080 --> 0:24:19.879 you know, I don't know if it's the you know, 0:24:20.040 --> 0:24:22.000 I don't know if being like like like being like 0:24:22.200 --> 0:24:29.520 wildly wildly successful. I don't know if that's the the 0:24:29.720 --> 0:24:36.560 thing I think. I think, well, when I really think 0:24:36.560 --> 0:24:42.679 about it, the I think the joy is often just 0:24:42.720 --> 0:24:45.240 like in being in the moment of what you're doing 0:24:45.320 --> 0:24:52.640 and feeling productive and feeling competent, and feeling the present. 0:24:52.760 --> 0:24:54.800 I mean, you talked about a childlike sense of wonder. 0:24:54.800 --> 0:24:58.520 I mean that's because your present, and you know, look, ideally, 0:24:58.560 --> 0:25:00.280 when you're playing a show in front of a eight 0:25:00.359 --> 0:25:04.680