Speaker 1: Hello, what's up?
Speaker 2: Hey? What's up?
Speaker 3: Man?
Speaker 2: What's your name?
Speaker 1: I'm Rory. Nice to talk to you, man. This is
Speaker 1: fucking crazy.
Speaker 2: It's nice to talk to you too. Man. Have we
Speaker 2: have we spoken before?
Speaker 1: No? This is my first time kick.
Speaker 2: Ass rock and roll? Who are you, Rory?
Speaker 1: I'm a I'm a little dude. I'm a little I
Speaker 1: don't know, I'm a man. This is so crazy. I
Speaker 1: just did not even think i'd get on the phone.
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, I'm a guy. I own a lizard.
Speaker 1: I'm going to a show later. Do you know who
Speaker 1: mount Eerie is?
Speaker 2: Mount Erie?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like really weird like sad music and I'm
Speaker 1: super excited for it.
Speaker 2: What what is it about mount Erie that appeals to you?
Speaker 2: What is it about the sad music that appeals to you?
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's like just so intense m hm
Speaker 1: and uh. A lot of it's kind of like it
Speaker 1: kind of writes a lot about it, like a lot
Speaker 1: of bullshit, but a lot of it's just like so
Speaker 1: like stule crushing that it's just it's like an experience.
Speaker 1: I don't know, and I've never seen him live and
Speaker 1: I'm really excited.
Speaker 2: Do you find that listening to sad depressing music makes
Speaker 2: you feel better or worse because it's a bit it's
Speaker 2: a mixed bag.
Speaker 1: I really, man, I can talk about this for like ever,
Speaker 1: but I really I don't know. It's kind of it
Speaker 1: kind of just depends. Like I'm a fan of like
Speaker 1: lots of crazy shit, Like I'm a fan of lots
Speaker 1: of music that's just like orderline unlistenable because it's just
Speaker 1: so intense. I don't know, Like music is just a
Speaker 1: thing that not to get all like I don't know
Speaker 1: what's the word emotional or whatever about it, but like
Speaker 1: music is just a thing that like there's so much
Speaker 1: opportunity for people to just like express the craziest, the
Speaker 1: craziest fucking shit that you can that you can't otherwise.
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, sure.
Speaker 1: That's totally just like a normal thing anybody can get
Speaker 1: from that. But like listening to like sad music is
Speaker 1: like if it's done right, it's like and it connects
Speaker 1: with you in a way. It's like you can feel
Speaker 1: things you've never felt or sending with like angry music,
Speaker 1: Like I love a lot of angry music and also
Speaker 1: happy music too, Like I love I'm a sound guy
Speaker 1: and at the I was working this show the other
Speaker 1: night with like some like I don't know, there wasn't
Speaker 1: really like punk bands. I guess they're like hard rock bands.
Speaker 1: But I was playing like for the house music between
Speaker 1: the bands, you know, I'm playing like stuff like that
Speaker 1: and people are yelling and screaming and stuff. But when
Speaker 1: it was like dawn, I had to put on Demiroquai.
Speaker 1: And sometimes I'll put on just like just like amazing
Speaker 1: gospel and funk and stuff just to like it's just
Speaker 1: I have to clear the air though, like if I'm
Speaker 1: around too much. But I don't know if that makes sense.
Speaker 2: But what what is you said, Demiroquai? What is that?
Speaker 1: You know the scene at the end of Napoleon Dynamite
Speaker 1: where he's dancing.
Speaker 2: I vaguely, yeah.
Speaker 1: It's like that. It's like that's that's the guy that
Speaker 1: he was dancing too.
Speaker 2: Mmm do you? I mean, do you? It's interesting. I was.
Speaker 2: I remember about a little over a year or ago.
Speaker 2: I was really uh sad, and I woke up one
Speaker 2: day at like seven in the morning and it was
Speaker 2: snowing out, and I walked down the street in the
Speaker 2: snow in New York and I listened to a bunch
Speaker 2: of Simon and Garfunkel. I listened to the Only Living
Speaker 2: Boy in New York, which is what you know. Here's
Speaker 2: the thing, and I want to say this. At the time,
Speaker 2: it absolutely made me feel more depressed. Listening to the
Speaker 2: Only Living Boy in New York while being depressed in
Speaker 2: New York. Will it will make you more depressed. But
Speaker 2: when I look back on the scene of me being
Speaker 2: depressed walking through the snow listening to Only Living Boy
Speaker 2: in New York, it's kind. There's it's it is romantic,
Speaker 2: I would say, looking at it from that point of view,
Speaker 2: But I don't know if it made me feel better.
Speaker 2: Whereas convert if I listen what did I fucking you know,
Speaker 2: when you listen to like, uh, I'm gonna sound like
Speaker 2: an that, when you listen to like upbeat, like what
Speaker 2: like fucking rap music or like rock or whatever, like
Speaker 2: you feel you feel good, You feel like, Okay, you're alive,
Speaker 2: something's happening, you know. I've never I don't know if
Speaker 2: I actively feel I feel I think, yeah, it's sad music.
Speaker 2: It puts me too too deep in my emotions, which
Speaker 2: maybe you don't want to feel all the time, you.
Speaker 1: Know, But like not all the time? Do I want
Speaker 1: to listen to like happy upbeat stuff, you know? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like it's kind of I don't know. Like one of
Speaker 1: my favorite musicians is uh or just songwriters is Elliott Smith.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you're familiar with him, but he's
Speaker 1: that's like a very sad guy. And I'll listen to
Speaker 1: that stuff when I'm not sad, you know, because.
Speaker 2: He he was he was in a band, right.
Speaker 1: He had a band called Heat miser okay, and then
Speaker 1: he did his solo stuff after that. He might have
Speaker 1: some more stuff in between there, but.
Speaker 2: Uh, yeah, I think uh I used to Uh, there's
Speaker 2: there's this comedian Chris Gethard who's talked about Elliott Smith before.
Speaker 2: Did he he didn't see he's not in the cure?
Speaker 3: Is he?
Speaker 2: Is that a different person?
Speaker 1: No, that's Robert Smith.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, all right, that's a good guy. But are
Speaker 2: you Are you sad? Often? I?
Speaker 1: You know, I used to be like just miserable all
Speaker 1: the time. And yeah, and I don't feel as like
Speaker 1: when I get when the things come up that like
Speaker 1: or like when a feeling comes up and I feel
Speaker 1: like how I felt like a couple of years ago,
Speaker 1: I'm like surprised now and it's like kind of crazy,
Speaker 1: why are you?
Speaker 2: Why are you not miserable every day anymore?
Speaker 1: I had lots of like outside pressures on me for
Speaker 1: like lots of things. I don't know, Like I was
Speaker 1: in two relationships that were really terrible I had. I
Speaker 1: went to like a weird sort of college prep high school,
Speaker 1: and then I went to this like very prestigious college
Speaker 1: and couldn't fucking handle it and it was like miserable.
Speaker 1: And then I was like working as a house painter
Speaker 1: and that was like, I mean, it's cool. I like
Speaker 1: would have been my uncle, but it was just like
Speaker 1: this sucks, like what am I doing? And then and
Speaker 1: then I had a lot of like I think I
Speaker 1: kind of just like proved to myself that I could
Speaker 1: like do things for myself and I could like do
Speaker 1: things that were like self affirming and uh and I
Speaker 1: don't know, and I just kind of I started like
Speaker 1: taking better care of myself. And you talked about a
Speaker 1: lot about journaling. I was like journaling. I was writing.
Speaker 1: I was like making music. I was like making making
Speaker 1: art and not really doing anything with it, but just
Speaker 1: like having it. And then I got like I went
Speaker 1: back to school, I got a degree in something I
Speaker 1: was interested in and interested in, and then like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I just kind of now now I'm now
Speaker 1: I'm like miserable in a way where it's like like fuck,
Speaker 1: I'm not doing all the things that like I should
Speaker 1: be doing that like I want to be doing, and
Speaker 1: uh it's like a it's like a different kind of
Speaker 1: like it's like a I was I saw this thing
Speaker 1: about like with with desire comes suffering, and I want
Speaker 1: I want to say I'm like suffering, but like I
Speaker 1: have desires and like it's I'm not like where I
Speaker 1: want to be, so it's like kissing me off.
Speaker 2: Al yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm I'm the same. I'm not
Speaker 2: where I want to be either, and I I I
Speaker 2: also feel desire strongly and uh yeah yeah, desire. Yeah,
Speaker 2: desire is suffering. I think a lot of my suffering
Speaker 2: is probably due to desire. Like you look at your
Speaker 2: life and it's like not where you want it to be,
Speaker 2: and so you're you're like making yourself suffer. And I
Speaker 2: don't know, there's two schools of thought on well, there's
Speaker 2: probably many schools of thought on it, but uh, you know,
Speaker 2: whatever there's a school of thought of like, okay, well,
Speaker 2: then to you you want, you got to get what
Speaker 2: you want, or you got to remove the desire or
Speaker 2: not desire so much. I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 2: how to deal with that conundrum. That's a conundrum I'm
Speaker 2: dealing with myself significantly often. What what but you're less miserable,
Speaker 2: You're less miserable. What is it? What is it about
Speaker 2: your life it's making you less miserable.
Speaker 1: I think I had a lot of change all at once,
Speaker 1: and it was like positive change, and I had a
Speaker 1: I mean, this might sound super fucking cheesy and go
Speaker 1: for it. I don't know, it's kind of weird to
Speaker 1: like share this in front of a bunch of people.
Speaker 1: I had this like I had a breakup that kind
Speaker 1: of like destroyed my sense of self a little bit.
Speaker 1: And I think that was like kind of like the
Speaker 1: something I needed something to kind of like be like, yo, dude,
Speaker 1: are you kind of fucking I don't know, need to
Speaker 1: like work on some stuff and uh yeah. And then
Speaker 1: I went to I used to like better help for
Speaker 1: a little bit and I was talking to this guy
Speaker 1: named Zachary, who was like really amazing and he really
Speaker 1: helped me, and he like told me like, uh, the journal,
Speaker 1: and he told me to have this like.
Speaker 2: Disclaimer, I did not pay this guy to call in. Okay, continue,
Speaker 2: I was gonna say that.
Speaker 1: I didn't mean to, Like no.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, I want to I actually want to
Speaker 2: hear hear more about this. You got you got you
Speaker 2: talk to a guy and he got you to journal.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I just had this Like I meant this or
Speaker 1: didn't meet him. I just I fucking paid this that
Speaker 1: online service to like I was just kind of like desperate,
Speaker 1: like I didn't know and like, but I randomly like
Speaker 1: got matched with this guy and we had he we
Speaker 1: had like so much in common. It was really weird.
Speaker 1: And he told me, Uh, we did a lot of
Speaker 1: I don't even like really specifically remember like what we did.
Speaker 1: For like the we did some like cognitive behavioral therapy
Speaker 1: stuff where like when you get like a yeah, when
Speaker 1: like someone like a certain idea or a certain thing
Speaker 1: you have like comes up, just like immediately try to
Speaker 1: negate it. And it was like really fucking difficult. But
Speaker 1: I was going through all that stuff at the same
Speaker 1: time that I was like I started uh school again
Speaker 1: and I went back to I went back to college
Speaker 1: and I went to music school, and and I like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, now I work in the industry, and
Speaker 1: I'm like it was just crazy. It was just kind
Speaker 1: of like for like three years or so, I just
Speaker 1: things kept like accumulating, and I kept being like, Wow,
Speaker 1: I can do that, I can do that, And of
Speaker 1: course it was like I don't know a fucking shit.
Speaker 1: Things that are like really fucking hard and you have
Speaker 1: to like work really hard, and like I'm not anywhere
Speaker 1: near where I want to be, And like tonight the
Speaker 1: show that I'm going to, my friend is doing sound
Speaker 1: for them, and my and uh, their girlfriend got me
Speaker 1: the job at the venue that uh all three of
Speaker 1: us work at, and oh my god, like them two
Speaker 1: there's so much better than I am at doing this ship.
Speaker 1: And it's like, so I'm gonna go there tonight and
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna try to, like, you know, talk to
Speaker 1: them and see what's like, Hey, what are you doing
Speaker 1: for this? But it's like, yeah, it's really fucking hard,
Speaker 1: Like everything is always really hard, but like I just
Speaker 1: kind of got so fucking sick of like feeling shitty,
Speaker 1: and uh, I don't know, I just pushed. Something just
Speaker 1: snapped and I pushed myself. And I know it's like
Speaker 1: easier to say, it's easier to say than to do,
Speaker 1: but I I don't know, it's just, uh, it kind
Speaker 1: of like started manifesting, and like I'm getting so pissed
Speaker 1: off that I'm like, I don't know if manifesting is
Speaker 1: the right word. It turned into just me getting like
Speaker 1: more pissed off than like anything, more irritable than like
Speaker 1: I'm just like upset with myself, and I just like
Speaker 1: couldn't really, I don't know, I just couldn't deal with
Speaker 1: that anymore. You know, Yeah, I do know.
Speaker 2: How old are you?
Speaker 1: I am twenty eight. I just turned I turned twenty
Speaker 1: eight a couple of months ago.
Speaker 2: Nice. Yeah, well that's cool man. It's cool that you
Speaker 2: uh had, like, like I don't know, this series of
Speaker 2: self affirming things happened. So therapy worked, is what you're saying.
Speaker 1: It worked for me. That was like I went to
Speaker 1: therapy when I was younger. I had a couple of
Speaker 1: different therapists and they were fucking stupid. They were so
Speaker 1: fucking stupid.
Speaker 2: So many yeah, yeah, there's so many fucking stupid therapists
Speaker 2: out there. Yeah, keep going.
Speaker 1: They like did not understand like what I was trying
Speaker 1: to talk about. I literally had a therapist fall asleep
Speaker 1: on me one time, not even kidding. And yeah, it
Speaker 1: was just like randomly. I was like it was like
Speaker 1: one in the morning. I remember, I was like all
Speaker 1: on panic attack, like I can't fucking do this shit,
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on. And I just was like,
Speaker 1: I this this better help. Shit. I don't even know.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what else I could do. And
Speaker 1: then I was with that guy for a couple of months,
Speaker 1: and it was like more expensive than like it should
Speaker 1: have been, but that's why I was in with him
Speaker 1: for a couple of months. But yeah, it was cool.
Speaker 2: When when, so what what? How long ago was it
Speaker 2: that you were It was one am and you were like,
Speaker 2: I can't fucking do this.
Speaker 1: I was it was in September and I was twenty four,
Speaker 1: so that was like three and a half years ago
Speaker 1: or something.
Speaker 2: M do you feel and you feel better now than
Speaker 2: you did then?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Definitely cool. I remember I was like walking across
Speaker 1: this bridge all the time to go to classes. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and I mean I was just like, yeah, thinking about
Speaker 1: it all the time.
Speaker 2: Yea, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: But you know what, ok that ship? Oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean yeah, oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, there's yeah no, there's
Speaker 2: so many things to try. I don't know why I'm
Speaker 2: on the so much. I'm on I'm I'm this is all,
Speaker 2: this is this, Yeah, dude, I don't know. There's so
Speaker 2: many things to try. There's so many things to try.
Speaker 2: There's so many things to have, and.
Speaker 1: Just in general, man like having a childlike sense of
Speaker 1: wonder is the most important thing, because like, well, you
Speaker 1: go ahead with it. You were to say, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Oh god, don't ask me. What am I trying out lately?
Speaker 2: All right? Okay, well fuck when am I trying lately?
Speaker 2: I should? I gotta try more, I gotta try different things.
Speaker 2: I was did I I? Oh god, I can't remember
Speaker 2: what I've talked about on the podcast already and what
Speaker 2: I haven't, but I think I might. I think I've
Speaker 2: said this before, but I'll just say it again. I
Speaker 2: was in Japan and I was going kind of insane,
Speaker 2: and I called my friend and and I was I
Speaker 2: was telling him I was going insane, and he was like,
Speaker 2: you gotta do stuff man like me. He was my
Speaker 2: friend was like, you know, me and my friends we
Speaker 2: go out to trivia every Wednesday. You know, he wasn't
Speaker 2: a he wasn't being particularly uh he's very logistical. It
Speaker 2: wasn't He's not a very emotional guy. He was like,
Speaker 2: me and my friends got out to trivia every Wednesday,
Speaker 2: and you can't kill yourself if you have trivia on Wednesdays.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know something. You have said that on the podcast,
Speaker 1: and I have thought that exact thing like a bunch
Speaker 1: of times, like that's such a that's such a like
Speaker 1: good way to say that you can't kill yourself if
Speaker 1: you're at trivia.
Speaker 2: Okay, I have said that on the podgast you just
Speaker 2: need something, you need things to do. I think one
Speaker 2: of my tribes gott you know, yeah, I mean you
Speaker 2: need things to do. What am I trying? I gotta
Speaker 2: try more? I gotta I mean whatever, man, I'm going.
Speaker 2: What am I trying? I mean, I'm I'm waking up,
Speaker 2: you know, I'm fucking yeah, I'm trying, you know, trying
Speaker 2: more things. We gotta I don't know. This is such
Speaker 2: a weird thing. This is a weird thing. This has
Speaker 2: evolved into I don't know, keep going Rory. What else?
Speaker 2: What else is you gotta advice? You gottny you got
Speaker 2: any advice for the people? Roy about about uh how
Speaker 2: to be how to how to transcend?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, well ship, I don't know, it's kind
Speaker 1: of just you know, it's it's, uh, yeah, you gotta
Speaker 1: try stuff. You gotta just do something. I don't know, like, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, let me let me take let me take
Speaker 1: like a little bit of a long approach to this,
Speaker 1: but I'll make it quick. So you were talking about
Speaker 1: how like there's two schools of like desire, right, There's
Speaker 1: like should I desire more? Should I desire less? To
Speaker 1: be happy? And yeah, it's kind of like, yeah, yesterday
Speaker 1: I was at my girlfriend's house and her mom was like, man,
Speaker 1: I went to the store and I was trying to
Speaker 1: get spray olive oil and then also like normal olive
Speaker 1: oil whatever, the actual oil because she needed to cook
Speaker 1: to use it to cook something with like the actual oil.
Speaker 1: And and then she was like and I forgot the spray.
Speaker 1: I forgot the normal one, so now I just have
Speaker 1: the spray one. And I was like, holy fuck, Like
Speaker 1: my you know, she's my girlfriend's mom, so she's older
Speaker 1: than me. And I was like, man, my entire life
Speaker 1: is just gonna be like like I'm gonna have to
Speaker 1: I just did that ship the other day. I forgot
Speaker 1: fucking bananas at the grocery store and the whole point
Speaker 1: to be going was to get shipped from my smoothies
Speaker 1: in the morning, and I forgot the fucking bananas. And
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna have to do that. My whole life
Speaker 1: is just forget stuff at the grocery store, among other things.
Speaker 1: It's just gonna be this like awful, Like it's like
Speaker 1: it that it'll just never stop and and and like
Speaker 1: you can't like care about that, you can't like let
Speaker 1: it like bother you. That like life is just kind
Speaker 1: of gonna be full of like disappointments and frustrations. You
Speaker 1: just got to find something fucking cool and like give
Speaker 1: a shit about it and give a shit about that
Speaker 1: and like yeah, and that's gonna be full of fucking frustrations.
Speaker 1: I've been in like literally twenty different bands and none
Speaker 1: of them have got take I've gotten off the ground.
Speaker 1: And I have friends of mine who were just playing
Speaker 1: these like this amazingly large show. They two of my
Speaker 1: friend's bands were opening for Jack white in front of
Speaker 1: five four hundred people or something like that, and there's
Speaker 1: like all these awesome pictures of them, and I'm so
Speaker 1: happy for them, and but I was like, damn, like
Speaker 1: I want to do that so bad. I've wanted to
Speaker 1: do that for shit like that for so long. But
Speaker 1: I kind of that kind of makes it come back
Speaker 1: to like the point like that sounds sad. I don't
Speaker 1: mean that in a sad thing a sad way. I
Speaker 1: guess for me, it's just like an aggressor or like
Speaker 1: a like I'm gonna do that. I don't know, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do shit cool shit that I want to do.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Does that make am I just bullshitting?
Speaker 1: Does that make sound? No?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, You're not appleshing at all. You're
Speaker 2: making You're making a lot of Well I'm trying to
Speaker 2: think about this because I have go I mean, I
Speaker 2: went to you know, I fucking toured around Australia and
Speaker 2: Europe and did these shows and they were awesome. They
Speaker 2: were a lot of fun. They were great. But you know,
Speaker 2: I'm still and I still want to do that stuff,
Speaker 2: and I still want to keep doing cool shit and
Speaker 2: trying my best to do cool shit. But I don't
Speaker 2: know if playing a show to a bunch of people
Speaker 2: is like the it's really cool. Uh, you know, I
Speaker 2: want to keep doing it, and it's cool to like
Speaker 2: be in the moment of whatever it is that you're doing.
Speaker 2: But I don't know if it's the on and off
Speaker 2: switch for like being less fucking like miserable all the time,
Speaker 2: you know, I don't know if it's the you know,
Speaker 2: I don't know if being like like like being like
Speaker 2: wildly wildly successful. I don't know if that's the the
Speaker 2: thing I think. I think, well, when I really think
Speaker 2: about it, the I think the joy is often just
Speaker 2: like in being in the moment of what you're doing
Speaker 2: and feeling productive and feeling competent, and feeling the present.
Speaker 2: I mean, you talked about a childlike sense of wonder.
Speaker 2: I mean that's because your present, and you know, look, ideally,
Speaker 2: when you're playing a show in front of a eight
Speaker 2: billion whatever people, you're present. I've I've you know, played
Speaker 2: shows as the get go in front of a bunch
Speaker 2: of people, and you know, I didn't feel like I
Speaker 2: was performing at my best and I didn't feel good,
Speaker 2: and so I was in my head and I wasn't
Speaker 2: present and that wasn't fun. But I you know, then
Speaker 2: I've had times where I was in front of you know,
Speaker 2: I did I'll do like a fucking stand up comedy
Speaker 2: open mic in front of you know, ten people, but
Speaker 2: I'll feel really present with the fucking jokes and it
Speaker 2: feels good, you know. So it's just I think it's
Speaker 2: about chasing presence more than any I mean, I feel
Speaker 2: good right now talking to you because I'm present, and
Speaker 2: sometimes I'm doing this and I'm not feeling that good
Speaker 2: and it's because I'm not present. So that's I mean,
Speaker 2: that's I think what is uh there is to chase,
Speaker 2: you know, more than like you know, anything else. But
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm also I'm also talking at them,
Speaker 2: I asked, because uh, you know, it's cool to do stuff.
Speaker 1: No, I think I think sort of something I forget
Speaker 1: all the time is like my perspective is like it's
Speaker 1: just like stupid fucking like rock band ship. I always
Speaker 1: just think of stuff as it's like cool bands and
Speaker 1: cool music and art, and it's like do something. When
Speaker 1: I was thinking like do something cool, I'm like thinking
Speaker 1: of like like start a fucking band. But I always
Speaker 1: I always like and I talked to like my cousins
Speaker 1: and stuff, and then like that's just like not not
Speaker 1: my cousins. I don't know anybody, but it's just like
Speaker 1: that's like not everybody's life, and I have to like
Speaker 1: remember that.
Speaker 2: So what what's up with you?
Speaker 3: What do you? What do you?
Speaker 2: What's up with your cousins?
Speaker 1: Oh? Nothing? Not like.
Speaker 2: Are they just like normies, like they have like a
Speaker 2: fucking job in an office or something.
Speaker 1: Not like my cousins in particular, but just like you know,
Speaker 1: when you go to like a family function and like
Speaker 1: you start talking about your job or whatever, and they're like, wow,
Speaker 1: you can make money doing that. That's crazy, and it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's that is you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Or oh yeah, yeah, yeah, well that yeah. That's all
Speaker 2: you need sometimes is like you talk to somebody and
Speaker 2: then you're like, oh, yeah, all you need is like
Speaker 2: a little bit of perspective and it kind of shocks
Speaker 2: you back into your Yeah no, no, a little bit of
Speaker 2: perspective will shock you right back into your fucking A
Speaker 2: little bit of perspective will make you cling to your
Speaker 2: goddamn life. A little bit, A little bit of perspective
Speaker 2: will make you go, why the fuck would I kill myself?
Speaker 2: Oh my god? What what you I would? Why would
Speaker 2: I give this up? This is great? Holy shit?
Speaker 1: Yeah, fucking crazy when that happens, you know, it's.
Speaker 2: Just like it is, It's like it's like getting hit
Speaker 2: by lightning or something.
Speaker 1: I was, Uh. I was at a uh this like
Speaker 1: parade that we have where I live, and they have
Speaker 1: a uh there's always like a New Orleans style marching
Speaker 1: band up at like the front of it. And my
Speaker 1: girlfriend's little cousin she's four, was like we're all hanging
Speaker 1: out and walking with her because like all the people
Speaker 1: that get in the parade and we like walk in
Speaker 1: the parade, and she was like dancing next to the tuba,
Speaker 1: the lady playing the tuba, and I just like I
Speaker 1: started like peering up. I was like, that's just so beautiful,
Speaker 1: Like this little tiny thing is like this is a
Speaker 1: beautiful moment. I don't know, and you know what, I
Speaker 1: think that's what has kind of made me feel a
Speaker 1: lot better, is like you just appreciate those things and
Speaker 1: you appreciate like big fucking clouds or a cool Today
Speaker 1: I saw a van parked and the dog was in
Speaker 1: the driver's seat and I took a picture of it.
Speaker 1: It's like funny as fuck.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, because it looks like the dog is
Speaker 2: driving the car.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, exactly, and it wasn't. That's why it's funny.
Speaker 2: And it wasn't. But if the dog was actually driving
Speaker 2: the car, that wouldn't be that funny because he'd probably
Speaker 2: kill a bunch of people.
Speaker 1: Uh. One Another cool thing I've been trying to do, though,
Speaker 1: is make curry and I'm like getting better at it,
Speaker 1: but I'm still not very good at it. And uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know. That's like a chill thing. That's you
Speaker 1: gotta take something to do, you know, I don't know. Wait,
Speaker 1: I want to ask you something though. When you go
Speaker 1: on tour, what what is that like? Do you get
Speaker 1: a lot of time to like experience the place as
Speaker 1: you go or no?
Speaker 2: I like the way you said, Uh, you said tour
Speaker 2: just now.
Speaker 1: I do sometimes, Yeah, I do tour instead of tours
Speaker 1: that what.
Speaker 2: Where are you from?
Speaker 1: What you're saying?
Speaker 2: Yeah, where are you from?
Speaker 1: I'm from. I lived in I live in a place
Speaker 1: called ham Tranmic. It's in Detroit. Okay, It's like I
Speaker 1: live in Detroit.
Speaker 2: Basically yeah, because I heard that that was kind of
Speaker 2: like a Delco or like a Philly accent a little bit.
Speaker 2: I know a lot of people in Philly who talk
Speaker 2: like that. But uh uh yeah, it depends, man. I
Speaker 2: mean when I was on sometimes sometimes I got a
Speaker 2: lot of time, but other times I didn't have as
Speaker 2: much time. Uh. I mean, yeah, it was cool. I like, well,
Speaker 2: I liked I like traveling, I like doing stuff. I'm
Speaker 2: I'm always kind of on a back and forth between like, oh,
Speaker 2: you know, you want to be stable so you can
Speaker 2: build relationships and community and and then you know you
Speaker 2: want to travel so that you can like, you know,
Speaker 2: be crazy and life is a movie and whatnot. But
Speaker 2: I don't know, man, yeah I think, uh yeah, I
Speaker 2: got to see a lot of places. I feel really great.
Speaker 2: I'm really grateful. I got to see a bunch of shit.
Speaker 2: I mean people will talk about like, uh, I know,
Speaker 2: people will like bring up a place and I'd be like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I think I've been to Denver like five fucking times
Speaker 2: at this point, and like, uh, it's cool, it's great.
Speaker 2: If you've never done it, union you should go see shit.
Speaker 2: You know, if you're listening to this and you're like,
Speaker 2: you know, twenty, you should be going. You should be
Speaker 2: in a different place and where you are right now
Speaker 2: tomorrow if you can.
Speaker 1: If if I was fucking twenty right now and I
Speaker 1: have had have the knowledge that I have right now,
Speaker 1: I would totally go do some shit like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: everybody can say that at any point in their life
Speaker 1: and whatever. But yeah, if you're twenty listening to this
Speaker 1: right now, you should, and you want to go do
Speaker 1: something somewhere else, you should. You should go to the.
Speaker 2: Fucking bro go to the Canary Eye Islands and hang
Speaker 2: out with that cave guy.
Speaker 1: Oh dude, I saw that. I was like thinking that,
Speaker 1: like it wasn't like an actual like cave cave. Like
Speaker 1: I was thinking, like maybe they were like retrofitted, they
Speaker 1: have people in there or something.
Speaker 3: You see it.
Speaker 2: I posted it. I posted on Instagram because he he
Speaker 2: dm y my cave. He fucking lives in a cave, Dude,
Speaker 2: I might. I don't. I don't want to bring this
Speaker 2: up on the podcast. Well, I mean I'm going to.
Speaker 2: I don't know why I'm saying. I'm an idiot, but uh,
Speaker 2: in the back of my head, I'm like, should I
Speaker 2: go to the fucking Canary Islands and film something with
Speaker 2: this guy. I don't maybe I will. I don't want
Speaker 2: to commit to that right now, but it's in the
Speaker 2: back of my head. I'm posting. I'm posting like a
Speaker 2: little clip of it tomorrow. But you know that cave
Speaker 2: I saw of that cave guy, and I was like, God,
Speaker 2: he made an Instagram and people, and I think I
Speaker 2: got a d M from somebody who was like, yo,
Speaker 2: I d M the cave guy, And now me and
Speaker 2: him are talking. So I think I think he's made.
Speaker 2: I think he's about to like start a commune off
Speaker 2: this fucking podcast episode, or at least start like a
Speaker 2: cave guy thing. I don't know, power to him. I
Speaker 2: think that's I think he's doing a really cool fucking thing.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, man, I don't remember what his name was, but
Speaker 1: I was listening to that. I listened to that episode
Speaker 1: and that was just like super inspiring. I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's just fucking like crazy, that's amazing. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I necessarily want to live in a cave.
Speaker 2: But like, I don't know if I necessarily want to
Speaker 2: live in a cave either, but he uh, I think
Speaker 2: that guy will have a cool. Well, I mean, he
Speaker 2: already has a cool life. He lives in a he's
Speaker 2: like the way he described it, he's like living the
Speaker 2: way that you know humans fucking lived, uh, you know,
Speaker 2: in tribes or whatever, you know, just hanging out. Yeah,
Speaker 2: very very paleolithic. I'm pretending like I know what that
Speaker 2: word when you said, when you said it's very paleolithic,
Speaker 2: I had in my mind an educated guess of what
Speaker 2: you were trying to say. So maybe I do know
Speaker 2: what paleolithic means vaguely if you asked me to, just
Speaker 2: if you dive further into that, I couldn't define paleolithic.
Speaker 2: But I have in my head what you what I
Speaker 2: think you mean when you say that, And I think
Speaker 2: that's right.
Speaker 1: But I think, uh, I think I was using that
Speaker 1: word right.
Speaker 2: But it's like I think you were too. Who care?
Speaker 2: You were? Who cares?
Speaker 1: So don't look at up.
Speaker 2: Yeah cave shit. Yeah, well we're talking about the cave guys,
Speaker 2: this cave ship.
Speaker 3: There we go.
Speaker 2: He's living, he's living a cave life. He lives in
Speaker 2: a cave rory. Yes, wile I've enjoyed talking to you,
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm this is a weird this podcast
Speaker 2: I don't know what this podcast started as. This started as,
Speaker 2: but it's now become it's become therapy for I mean,
Speaker 2: it's always been therapy for me. I don't know what. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know what. Thanks for talking to me about this
Speaker 2: stuff because I'm I feel a lot of what you're
Speaker 2: talking about. And don't kill yourself. I'm not gonna kill myself.
Speaker 2: I'm not. We're not. Yeah, we're gonna be fine. No
Speaker 2: one's gonna kill themselves. Everything's gonna be fine. No one's
Speaker 2: gonna yet. No, we're all gonna be fine. Rory, and
Speaker 2: we're all gonna be fine. That's why I'm taking away
Speaker 2: from this. I feel like we're I feel like we're
Speaker 2: talking this conversation. I feel like you and I are
Speaker 2: like on the like we both can't sleep at a
Speaker 2: sleepover kind of a conversation and we're talking on the
Speaker 2: fucking we're talking on our friends, Like, uh, what's not addict?
Speaker 2: Why am I thinking? Porch? Yeah, we're talking about porch.
Speaker 2: It's a very porch conversation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a good one. It's good. Oh go ahead,
Speaker 1: Oh is there anything else I want to say?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all I was gonna say.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like there's I've like, I've like, I
Speaker 1: feel like I've practiced this moment and now like I
Speaker 1: can't remember any of that ship that I wanted to.
Speaker 2: Say, don't you don't practice there is? What do you
Speaker 2: feel right? What's in your pops into your head?
Speaker 1: Definitely? Definitely everything gets better. It sucks though, you gotta
Speaker 1: work really hard, but it's totally fucking worth it to
Speaker 1: make change in your life that's positive. And yeah, uh
Speaker 1: also start a fucking band and listen to Slayer. That's uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's it.
Speaker 2: Rory for ten thousand years. Thank you for calling, sir.
Speaker 2: I'll I'll see you around the universe.
Speaker 1: Yank for one hundred thousand years. Love you by, don't
Speaker 1: kill yourself you either, love you bye.
Speaker 2: I love you too, Rory. Goddamn fuck shit, fuck, We're
Speaker 2: all gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be fine. That was
Speaker 2: a good call. That was a good call. Hey, what's up?
Speaker 3: What's up? Oh my gosh, hey buddy, how's it going.
Speaker 2: It's going good man. What's your name?
Speaker 3: My name is nick? Uh, your name is Lyle?
Speaker 2: Right, my name is Lyle. Have we spoken before?
Speaker 1: Yick?
Speaker 3: No, No, I've been a long time listener.
Speaker 2: Though, cool cool man, Um, yeah, how's your how's your
Speaker 2: name going?
Speaker 3: It's going pretty good. I'm well currently studying for exam,
Speaker 3: but I needed a break anyway. So yeah, I'm a
Speaker 3: twenty two year old college student.
Speaker 1: So busy is.
Speaker 3: A little busy bee?
Speaker 2: What do you what's the exam? What are you being
Speaker 2: examined to do?
Speaker 3: It's on cancer perspective, So yeah, I'm learning about cancer
Speaker 3: right now. I'm I'm aspiring radiation therapist.
Speaker 2: Whoa, that's uh, that fucking is awesome. That's such a
Speaker 2: real job. Why do I keep saying that I do?
Speaker 2: Is I keep saying that all the time. I think
Speaker 2: I say that all the time because I'm a talking Internet.
Speaker 3: Get go, And I think that's a real job too.
Speaker 3: That's for sure, a real job.
Speaker 2: That's debatable, but I mean it's yeah, sure, sure it produces.
Speaker 2: I pay taxes. I think if you pay, you have
Speaker 2: a real job. I think if you pay, yeah, sure.
Speaker 3: If you're paying taxes, you're contributing to society.
Speaker 1: Though.
Speaker 2: You know, I'll accept that. I'll accept that as just.
Speaker 3: And you help out from what I listened to, you
Speaker 3: help out a lot of people, and that that concert
Speaker 3: or something.
Speaker 2: Well, thanks, man. I mean I'm not curing cancer, but
Speaker 2: you know, I'm trying my best. Yeah, so what's either
Speaker 2: tell me? I mean, tell me more about cancer. Sounds bad?
Speaker 3: Yeah, cancer is horrible, man. I shadowed a couple of places,
Speaker 3: and there's like some some cases are like not too bad,
Speaker 3: like people catch it early, and then some cases are like,
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, like I don't even want to talk
Speaker 3: about some some stuff. But you know, it's a reality
Speaker 3: of this world, which is uh something I don't know, but.
Speaker 2: I'm fucking randomly catching cancer and dying.
Speaker 3: Well it's not even like a lot of cancer has
Speaker 3: to do with like something that happens over times, but
Speaker 3: it can also be like a genetic thing, like some
Speaker 3: people are just born with like leukemia, which is like, oh,
Speaker 3: it's so bad. But you know, there's a lot of
Speaker 3: like the way that like technology is going, there's a
Speaker 3: big like there's such a huge reduction and death of cancer,
Speaker 3: and like the fight against cancer is real. You know,
Speaker 3: one day I'm sure that, yeah, one day I'm sure
Speaker 3: that like there will be a cure and I'm hopeful
Speaker 3: for that and I want to contribute to that.
Speaker 2: So pretty good, Pretty good? Yeah, yeah, let's you know what,
Speaker 2: I think this is good. I think fighting cancer is
Speaker 2: good and cancer is bad. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: what's yeah? Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead,
Speaker 2: go ahead.
Speaker 3: What was your question?
Speaker 2: I was gonna ask what your life was like outside
Speaker 2: of cancer?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, well right now, I'm working a job to
Speaker 3: pay the bills. I'm living with my girlfriend, and yeah,
Speaker 3: it's it's life, you know. Like I'm at that age,
Speaker 3: like twenty two where you gotta gotta pick pick up
Speaker 3: on your responsibilities and like stay ahead on things. And
Speaker 3: I'm I'm working on myself as a human being, like
Speaker 3: I I've been. I started journaling. I at least journal
Speaker 3: a couple of times a week, and it's helped me
Speaker 3: because it kind of like feeds me or like it
Speaker 3: sees me into reality sometimes, you know, like you get
Speaker 3: so caught up in your head and like, uh, when
Speaker 3: I journal, it's like I think it's like peak human
Speaker 3: experience sometimes because like if you think about it, like
Speaker 3: every creature in this universe doesn't have hands or thumbs
Speaker 3: to write down their thoughts or even like realize that
Speaker 3: their thoughts are real, you know, So I think it
Speaker 3: helps me out a lot journaling.
Speaker 2: Whoa, Yeah, it's true, Like a fucking dog can't journal,
Speaker 2: So journaling it's one of the most human things you
Speaker 2: could do. I mean, I guess, yeah, I guess I
Speaker 2: guess you could say the same. I guess you could.
Speaker 2: I guess you could apply that daddy. I guess you
Speaker 2: could say, open it. You could apply that logic to
Speaker 2: most things. You could say that, like opening a jar
Speaker 2: of pickles is the most human thing you could do,
Speaker 2: but it is. It's a very human thing to open
Speaker 2: a jar of pickles.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like even cave like if you think about it, caveman,
Speaker 3: or like big journals, like they're they're like right in
Speaker 3: mammoths on the walls and like they don't have a language,
Speaker 3: but they still like get it down, you know they do.
Speaker 2: What would you journal about today?
Speaker 3: Today? I haven't gotten a journal. I had a physics
Speaker 3: course that I went to and uh, it was kind
Speaker 3: of brain boggling and just been super busy. I woke
Speaker 3: up this morning after like I worked the whole weekend.
Speaker 3: I'm an Amazon delivery driver, and I listened to your
Speaker 3: podcast a lot on like the road is really really
Speaker 3: really relaxing, and it gets my the nice thing about
Speaker 3: podcast is like you can be doing anything and listen
Speaker 3: to it and just forget that you're working or have
Speaker 3: some situation. So are grateful to you and.
Speaker 2: That, Oh thanks man, thanks man, your So you're working?
Speaker 2: How many hours a week? Or are you working? You're working?
Speaker 2: Angle in to school? Man?
Speaker 1: How long?
Speaker 2: How you really are fucking you know? I have a
Speaker 2: lot of responsibilities. How often are you working?
Speaker 3: Typically it's one time or what just on like Sundays.
Speaker 3: But I picked up a shift this weekend because I
Speaker 3: called out sick last weekend. I'm like, oh, I need
Speaker 3: to make up somehow, make up some money somehow, So
Speaker 3: I picked up a shift on Saturday. So I'm working
Speaker 3: approximately like ten to twenty hours a week.
Speaker 2: And then how often are you in school and stuff
Speaker 2: being and ship? Uh?
Speaker 3: I have to be in class for I have two
Speaker 3: in persons and one online. So like, I'm a transfer
Speaker 3: student this year and I am. I got like a
Speaker 3: lot of my prerecs out of the way and all
Speaker 3: the things. So it's kind of a lighter courseload, which
Speaker 3: is why I can work more. So but soon I'm
Speaker 3: gonna I'm so excited I'm going to be transitioning to
Speaker 3: like a hospital, to actually get some real like healthcare
Speaker 3: work and a hospital setting. So I'm super excited for
Speaker 3: that because like Amazon is fun. But okay, I wouldn't
Speaker 3: say it's.
Speaker 2: Fun, but I was about to say. I was about
Speaker 2: to say, I've never heard someone who drives for Amazon,
Speaker 2: uh saite describe it as uh particularly fun.
Speaker 3: No, it's it's not fun, but like it's actually pretty
Speaker 3: pretty sweet gig if you think about it. Because you're
Speaker 3: like on the road and if you're in a vehicle
Speaker 3: that's not like video recording you at twenty four to seven, Like,
Speaker 3: so you don't get dinged for distracted driving. You can
Speaker 3: like jam out some to some tunes, or you can
Speaker 3: like you stay active. You're like walking up and down.
Speaker 3: I like to be active, so like it keeps me
Speaker 3: on my feet. And if I didn't have bunions, I
Speaker 3: wouldn't be so upset about it. But you know, sing
Speaker 3: bunions suck. I hope you never get them.
Speaker 2: What I have multiple questions. There are cam you have
Speaker 2: cameras that record you while you drive.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, they got Like there's just so if you're
Speaker 3: passing an Amazon driver, do not cut in front of
Speaker 3: them because they're gonna get in trouble because like you
Speaker 3: can get dinged for like just weird things like if
Speaker 3: someone cuts off cuts you off, like you get dinged
Speaker 3: and it gets sent to your boss and then you
Speaker 3: have to talk to you. If you speed, you get dinged.
Speaker 3: Or if you're eating or looking at your phone, will
Speaker 3: drive and you get dinged. So it's kind of an
Speaker 3: advanced system. Like I get why it's in place to
Speaker 3: like protect and everything, but I can make things difficult sometimes.
Speaker 2: What are bunyans bunions?
Speaker 3: It's like when bunyons it's more of a recent development.
Speaker 3: I've always had feet issues, but a bunion is like
Speaker 3: you know that ball of your foot next to your
Speaker 3: big toe, the ball the big toe kind of like
Speaker 3: juts out a bit.
Speaker 2: Like oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: Inward that like when that grows out too much, it
Speaker 3: starts hurting, you know, like it's like a joint pain almost,
Speaker 3: but it I think it's not. It's only has to
Speaker 3: do with like when I wear shoes without like arch support,
Speaker 3: which is kind of hard to find these days. But yeah,
Speaker 3: bunyon it it hurts when I walk, but it's manageable.
Speaker 3: You know. Some people have to get surgery, like to
Speaker 3: fix that stuff. Like I a foot surgeon came into
Speaker 3: my class one year since for like a healthcare class.
Speaker 3: A foot surgeon just like went over like a presentation
Speaker 3: about like different feet surgeries and stuff.
Speaker 2: So well, I tell me about your girlfriend, how do
Speaker 2: you meet her?
Speaker 3: Oh? So it's kind of funny that like the last
Speaker 3: lady uh talked about Tinder and I actually found my
Speaker 3: girlfriend on Tinder too. We went to the same college
Speaker 3: and we are back when before I transferred. We went
Speaker 3: to the same college and I was sitting I remember
Speaker 3: this moment so clearly. I was like I was sitting
Speaker 3: in like have you ever heard of Einstein Bagels?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know where that is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like a bagel shop. And I was eating
Speaker 3: a chocolate chip bagel with honey almond Oh what honey
Speaker 3: almond cream cheese spread. And I got a ding like
Speaker 3: I matched with someone on Tinder. Because this was like
Speaker 3: at the very beginning of my tender expedition. I guess
Speaker 3: like given him a shot and I matched with this
Speaker 3: super cute lady and I'm like I text my friend like,
Speaker 3: oh dude, I got I go to match bro, and
Speaker 3: he's like, oh, go go take shoot your shot, you know,
Speaker 3: And I did, and.
Speaker 2: I met her.
Speaker 3: It was during finals week and I went to the
Speaker 3: library to study with her, and then she uh took
Speaker 3: she like showed me her apartment and she played the
Speaker 3: guitar for me, and we just it was a very
Speaker 3: nice date. And we just kept seeing each other and
Speaker 3: it grew and it blossomed into something really nice. We've
Speaker 3: been together for like two years now.
Speaker 2: So, man, you got you got a nice fucking life. Brother,
Speaker 2: you got a nice I like you. Man, what's your
Speaker 2: name again?
Speaker 3: My name is Nick or Nico. Nico's my Spanish name.
Speaker 2: Nico. You're you're you're a fucking outstanding citizen.
Speaker 3: Nico, You're outstanding.
Speaker 2: Hold On, hold on, hold on. I don't know why
Speaker 2: I'm I'm like, I'm filled with It's gonna sound insane,
Speaker 2: but I'm feeling I'm filled with I'm filled with joy
Speaker 2: for you right now. Nico, You're just a real just
Speaker 2: a real hold on, let me say this real quick.
Speaker 2: You're a real part. You have a a nice girlfriend,
Speaker 2: you live in a play, you deliver packages, you're solving cancer,
Speaker 2: you're twenty two, You're just I don't know, you're a
Speaker 2: real if I could send a human being to be like,
Speaker 2: this is what, this is a this is a guy,
Speaker 2: This is a person. This is a twenty two year
Speaker 2: old human male living in society in twenty twenty five this,
Speaker 2: and we send them to aliens or a histographer. You're
Speaker 2: a guy. You're a just a real fucking American, fucking
Speaker 2: real guy. And I'm not I hope I don't sound
Speaker 2: like I'm being facetious right now. I hope I'm accurately expressing.
Speaker 2: I believe just the feeling that I have for you
Speaker 2: listening to you in your life. And I'm not blowing
Speaker 2: smoke up your ass. I know it sounds like I am,
Speaker 2: but I'm I just in my gut, I'm like, you're
Speaker 2: you're a fucking You're a good guy, Nico. I don't
Speaker 2: know you that well, but you're a good guy.
Speaker 3: I I uh So. The thing about being a good
Speaker 3: person I feel is like it's it's not basically you're
Speaker 3: you're born. It's not that you're just born a good person, right,
Speaker 3: Like of course everyone's born with a personality, but I've
Speaker 3: honestly just been super blessed with like the way I
Speaker 3: was raised, Like my parents are like I was raising
Speaker 3: a small village. I got to play outside with the neighbors,
Speaker 3: like I have like a somewhat normal childhood, like I
Speaker 3: I it's not just like I try to think of
Speaker 3: it as like if anyone was born in my shoes,
Speaker 3: they'd probably turn out just as well. It's not better
Speaker 3: than me, and I try and keep that perspective when
Speaker 3: like that are bad in people, Like everyone has potential
Speaker 3: to be a good person. But I think I've just
Speaker 3: kind of got got really I hit the jackpot with
Speaker 3: my like family and friends in life. So it's it.
Speaker 3: I don't know, like you're You're a good guy in
Speaker 3: my eyes, and I try to like few people like
Speaker 3: with optimism, I guess because I I've also come to
Speaker 3: like a conclusion with like since I was raised with
Speaker 3: like so much love and joy, I need to, like
Speaker 3: it's my duty, as like a person who is blessed
Speaker 3: with something like that to like try and continue this
Speaker 3: path and continue dot that energy. You know, I want
Speaker 3: to I want to continue that to.
Speaker 2: Get I want to I want to kill such a
Speaker 2: good guy. I just want to kill you. I don't
Speaker 2: know why I said that, but that's how you're such
Speaker 2: a good guy.
Speaker 3: I want to strangle I'll learn some self defense and
Speaker 3: I'll strangle you back that I do want to learn
Speaker 3: some boxing. That would be awesome.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's funny. It's funny. I mean, yeah, that whole yeah,
Speaker 2: the whole thing of like, uh yeah, there's no yeah,
Speaker 2: of course, anyone who was born anyone who's was born
Speaker 2: from your mother's vagina would have been you. Not you specifically,
Speaker 2: but whoever you are, so you know, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: There's no real reason why anyone is anyone, but it's
Speaker 2: it's true. But anyway, what I don't know, I don't
Speaker 2: want to you're I don't funk that. I hate that.
Speaker 2: Existential rants I mean, I hate it right now, but I.
Speaker 3: Think existentialism is pretty cool to think about.
Speaker 2: I want to kill you, nko.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 2: It's cool to think about. But you don't want to.
Speaker 2: You don't want to get You don't want to be
Speaker 2: too existential. You want to like the like the last
Speaker 2: guy said where he was I think I caught on
Speaker 2: to but the last guy was saying, I don't know
Speaker 2: if I specifically did, but where It's like life is
Speaker 2: a series of going to the store and forgetting you
Speaker 2: got that you're supposed to get bananas, like that's you
Speaker 2: want to you want like existential thought. I think in
Speaker 2: a healthy human being should consume a small portion of
Speaker 2: the pie chart, and you should mainly be thinking about
Speaker 2: like the real the life that you're I mean, you live,
Speaker 2: you don't. Your life, from what you've told me, is
Speaker 2: like you know, driving for Amazon, being with your girlfriend,
Speaker 2: doing being in like you know, radiation therapy is like
Speaker 2: you're living. You're living in your life a lot. You're
Speaker 2: not spending all day in crazy existential thoughts. Existential Maybe
Speaker 2: you are. I don't know, you're right. I shouldn't have.
Speaker 2: I shouldn't have you know you're right. Driving for Amazon,
Speaker 2: probably it does give you a lot of time to
Speaker 2: think about the meaning of life and ship. I should
Speaker 2: What are you thinking about when you're in these existential thoughts.
Speaker 3: Especially, like like you said, like when you're in Amazon,
Speaker 3: driving in silent all to day, you do sometimes have
Speaker 3: to think, like I'm I'm in a very joyous mood too,
Speaker 3: because I'm talking to you right now. So like I've
Speaker 3: been listening to you for a long time. I've been
Speaker 3: really trying to get on the podcast eventually so that
Speaker 3: that might be why you're thinking, I'm such a joyous dude.
Speaker 3: But when I'm on like on our ten of my
Speaker 3: Amazon shift and I'm like grumpy, I haven't gotten to
Speaker 3: eat anything, I'm like sometimes it just brings out like
Speaker 3: the existential thing that you talk about, and it takes
Speaker 3: me to Like when I think about existential, I think
Speaker 3: about like like I think about like there's a list
Speaker 3: of things like God, the past, the future, and like
Speaker 3: spiritualism or like physics or like virtual reality simulation, like
Speaker 3: have you heard of the double split or double slit experiment,
Speaker 3: or like Schrodinger's cat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, I know what Schrodinger's cat.
Speaker 4: Is like.
Speaker 3: Since I'm kind of a physics thueve, I like to
Speaker 3: look into the stuff like that and and I'll listen
Speaker 3: to like podcasts on that and it just takes me
Speaker 3: so out of it. But I don't know. Existential is
Speaker 3: like it's a unique human experience in my opinion, like
Speaker 3: most most animals live off of like instinct or like, oh,
Speaker 3: I need to pro create because that's what life is,
Speaker 3: like growth and going forward. But as assuming you get
Speaker 3: some more advanced like oh God, or like spiritualism, Like
Speaker 3: I think that is such a unique thing for us.
Speaker 2: But I could be wrong.
Speaker 3: Maybe dolphins think about that.
Speaker 2: I think I'm kind of swimming.
Speaker 3: I'm kind of all over the place, like I didn't
Speaker 3: think when I talk to people, I just jump around
Speaker 3: to random things.
Speaker 2: Nico you I really you have. You never need to
Speaker 2: apologize for anything ever for the rest of your life.
Speaker 2: You're a great human Yes, I do a great human being,
Speaker 2: Nicole was It was good talking to me. Man, is
Speaker 2: is there any Is there anything else you want to
Speaker 2: say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Maybe just try and have perspective. Like I'm not telling
Speaker 3: anyone what to do, but like like I said, like
Speaker 3: if you were if anyone was born in the shoes,
Speaker 3: if someone pissed you off that day and you were
Speaker 3: born in their shoes, you would probably puts yourself off
Speaker 3: to you know, Like we're trying to have some perspective.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're all. We're all. We're all probably
Speaker 2: each other. I think.
Speaker 3: We're all. We're all one being. If you think about it.
Speaker 2: We all drive for Amazon.
Speaker 3: We all feel we all drive for Amazon and to
Speaker 3: be the slave of a capitalistic society that we did
Speaker 3: not choose to be born into so like imagine being
Speaker 3: born as a someone in Africa, just like living in
Speaker 3: a tribe, and or like.
Speaker 2: Sorry, go ahead and go ahead ahead.
Speaker 3: No, I'm just kind of rambling because I was talking
Speaker 3: to you.
Speaker 2: I was going to say, I was going to say,
Speaker 2: when you started this call talking about cancer, I was like,
Speaker 2: I don't think this can get any more depressing. I'm
Speaker 2: glad that we start both started and ended on a
Speaker 2: depressing note. Yeah, but I still think you're still I
Speaker 2: still fucking think you're the greatest human being that I
Speaker 2: have ever encountered. And I might not be being facetious about.
Speaker 3: That, No I'm not. I've heard splin like that cave dude.
Speaker 2: Wait, we can't all be the cave dude. We can't
Speaker 2: all be.
Speaker 1: The gave dude.
Speaker 3: I just keep bringing up the cave dude.
Speaker 2: Every every call. I'll talk to you later, Nico.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2: I have a good one. Bye.
Speaker 3: Hello, Oh my god, Hello.
Speaker 2: Lyle, what's up? How's life?
Speaker 4: Oh my god? No, this is actually like kind of crazy.
Speaker 4: I've cooled so many times over the last few weeks
Speaker 4: because I'll started like, I've known about you for years now,
Speaker 4: but when I met my boyfriend recently. He was like,
Speaker 4: we drove down to like the south of England and
Speaker 4: he was like, let's let's put something on the card.
Speaker 4: I really want to listen to music. Let's like listen
Speaker 4: to this therapy Gecko And I was like, oh, I've
Speaker 4: heard of him. He's like yeah, I listened to him
Speaker 4: while I'm welding and doing my work and I was like,
Speaker 4: oh cool. And I've just been like listening to you
Speaker 4: every day for the last like four months now. It's
Speaker 4: so I love it. It's very interesting listening to people talk
Speaker 4: about their experiences and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: Fuck yeah, thanks, crazy. It's it's always sick to hear
Speaker 2: that people who are listening to this outside of the States.
Speaker 2: Where where in the UK are you from? I've been,
Speaker 2: I've been there.
Speaker 4: I'm I'm at university at the minute. I'm in Birmingham,
Speaker 4: which is like Midlands West Midlands, but I'm from near
Speaker 4: Cambridge originally, so I'm like three hours away from home.
Speaker 4: Uh yeah, I'm actually like so shocks right now? This
Speaker 4: is crazy?
Speaker 2: How is Universe a good way?
Speaker 4: Sorry?
Speaker 2: How's university?
Speaker 4: It's really good? It was good. This is my first year.
Speaker 4: I'm only nineteen so this is my first year at university.
Speaker 4: It's really good. It is really good.
Speaker 1: I used to live.
Speaker 4: In like a was it like I grew up in
Speaker 4: like a little town. Not town. There's a little village
Speaker 4: in the middle of nowhere with like a few, like
Speaker 4: less than a thousand people. I want to say, so
Speaker 4: like coming this is like Birmingham's the second biggest city
Speaker 4: in the UK. So this is like kind of crazy
Speaker 4: for me that there's so much to do.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: It's mental not knowing everyone, But what the hell this is?
Speaker 1: This is so cool?
Speaker 2: How do you say your name? What did you say?
Speaker 2: Your name was?
Speaker 1: Isabelle?
Speaker 2: Isabelle, well, Isabelle. It's it's totally cool. If not, I
Speaker 2: can just ask you random things. But is there anything
Speaker 2: in particular that you wanted to talk about today? Yeah?
Speaker 4: I wanted to. I've had a lot of people talk
Speaker 4: about like the dating apps and stuff like that, and
Speaker 4: I always talk about my experience with that. I feel
Speaker 4: like it's quite interesting, well not like interesting interesting. I'm
Speaker 4: not like some I don't know. I feel like I'm
Speaker 4: talking about that that many like crazy stories to tell,
Speaker 4: like that guy the cave guy. That's awesome, and as
Speaker 4: I last I brought them bring that up again. Oh
Speaker 4: that's crazy.
Speaker 2: Shout hey man, listen, listen, listen. I don't want everyone
Speaker 2: ever not everyone's gonna start calling into this podcast and
Speaker 2: being like, well, I'm not as interesting as the cave guy. Look,
Speaker 2: you don't have to always be as interesting as the
Speaker 2: cave guy. We can't or I'm not as interesting as
Speaker 2: the cave guy. We can't all be as interesting as
Speaker 2: the cave guys. I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't live the life.
Speaker 2: I don't think I could either. I don't think I
Speaker 2: could either. I couldn't ship in the cave. Well, actually
Speaker 2: I could shop the cave once, but I don't think
Speaker 2: I could do it every day. But you don't. You
Speaker 2: don't have to be as interesting as the cave guy.
Speaker 4: Do you know you know in Italy? You know Mount.
Speaker 2: Etuas uh No, I haven't heard of it. I mean Italy,
Speaker 2: like you.
Speaker 4: Know, you know, you know, like Pompeii. Obviously it's the
Speaker 4: volcanoes that like killed everyone, well, like the Romans and
Speaker 4: stuff like that. We went there when I was like
Speaker 4: twelve or thirteen in the school trip and I ship
Speaker 4: on the mountain and it felt like I don't know,
Speaker 4: not like Italian or anything. Baba. Yeah, this is kind
Speaker 4: of like payback for killing all those people in Pompeii.
Speaker 4: I don't know, random thought there go yeah on the mountains.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so you wanted to talk about your dating
Speaker 2: app experiences.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know, it's just I don't know. Me
Speaker 4: and my friends, I felt like this is a very
Speaker 4: common thing, but people obviously, like some people like downloaded
Speaker 4: for certain reasons. But me and my friends were just like, oh,
Speaker 4: let's let's do it as a joke and kind of
Speaker 4: see what happens. And then it went really well. And
Speaker 4: now I've got a boyfriend, so it's quite cool. But
Speaker 4: I went on quite a few dates before meeting him,
Speaker 4: but I'm glad it kind of works out for the better.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's great. I mean, how many how many dates
Speaker 2: did you go on before you met your boyfriend?
Speaker 4: Like three? I want to say, I want to say
Speaker 4: really often, money, but I want to say three. I
Speaker 4: literally I downloaded it in November, and then I met
Speaker 4: my boyfriend in January, the end of January, and then
Speaker 4: we got together after like a month, and now with
Speaker 4: chill in this.
Speaker 2: Year, that's pretty good. Okay, I'm going to say something,
Speaker 2: and you might be offended by it, but it is
Speaker 2: my guttural reaction to what you're telling me right now.
Speaker 4: Yep, Okay.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's so much easier to meet your
Speaker 2: boyfriend after three dates when you're nineteen because and this
Speaker 2: is the part where you're going to get offended, is
Speaker 2: because I think when you're nineteen, you're like, like, your
Speaker 2: who you are as a person is developed, like a
Speaker 2: little bit of course by that time, yeah, but like
Speaker 2: compared to like when you're twenty nine or some shit, right,
Speaker 2: you're you're a little bit less develops. So I think
Speaker 2: you're I think you're a little bit more willing at
Speaker 2: nineteen to be like, this guy is nice to me,
Speaker 2: and I find him attractive, and that's those are that's
Speaker 2: a that's column A and column b, you know. And
Speaker 2: then as you get older, you start being like, well,
Speaker 2: I want someone who has a little bit of this,
Speaker 2: and I you know, my life is like this, and
Speaker 2: I want someone whose life is a little bit like
Speaker 2: this and this and the other thing. And so you
Speaker 2: start getting narrowing things down, you get more specific with
Speaker 2: what you need, you know. But I feel like when
Speaker 2: you're yeah, when you're like in college, it's like they're
Speaker 2: attractive and they're chill and that's it. Yeah, so and
Speaker 2: you can and you can find that in not that
Speaker 2: many dates.
Speaker 4: No, I don't. Yeah, I completely agree with you.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 4: I know for a fact, I'm not like fully cognitively
Speaker 4: like developed. He obviously you don't get that. You don't
Speaker 4: get to that point. So you're like, what mid twenties
Speaker 4: and even then, like you're always like.
Speaker 2: I don't think, I don't know humans. I don't know.
Speaker 4: If you're always learning, you're always learning. I can always
Speaker 4: feel like that age, I still feel like I'm like
Speaker 4: twelve years old. Mentally, I'm like I still have the
Speaker 4: same interest. So I'm like, oh, I'm just a woman now.
Speaker 4: I guess kind of not really, but I'm just kind
Speaker 4: of living in the city and I'm meeting all these
Speaker 4: people and stuff.
Speaker 2: But I get that also, you know, I have have fun,
Speaker 2: have a good time in your life. Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, go ahead, yeah, crazy, I'm trying to think, like,
Speaker 4: I don't know, do you want to ask me some questions?
Speaker 4: I feel like I've like thought, I've thought about this moment.
Speaker 4: It's quite a few times, and I'm like, what if
Speaker 4: I what do I want to talk about? But I
Speaker 4: feel like I'm gonna let you question me and I
Speaker 4: can kind of ramble essentially.
Speaker 2: Sure, Sure I can question you. What I mean, what
Speaker 2: do you what do you study?
Speaker 4: Oh? So, uh, I'm doing currently. I'm doing it like
Speaker 4: a thing called a foundation year before university. So it's
Speaker 4: not like it's like one year where you basically like
Speaker 4: do like a course. So I'm doing media production at
Speaker 4: my course right now, So I do a year of
Speaker 4: that and you basically get like trains and all these
Speaker 4: different like audio and like video equipment. You learn you
Speaker 4: learn how to do like podcasts and stuff like that
Speaker 4: and live TV and also have to make like short
Speaker 4: films and do like presentations. Because it's like it's meant
Speaker 4: to be like a starting thing to introduce people to university,
Speaker 4: because some people just do it as like like you
Speaker 4: get like a qualification out of it, but it's not
Speaker 4: like the same level as like an actual university degree.
Speaker 4: It's just like you get experience from it and then
Speaker 4: you can kind of go and do whatever university of
Speaker 4: course you want to do. So like there's other people
Speaker 4: on my court who are doing completely different things to
Speaker 4: be like sports marketing and stuff like that. They'll be
Speaker 4: doing that next year, well this September, But I'm meant
Speaker 4: to be doing filmmaking. But I've had a revelation recently
Speaker 4: that I'm like, nah, I kind of want to just
Speaker 4: do media production because not that it's difficult to get
Speaker 4: into the film industry, but obviously it's difficult to get
Speaker 4: into it.
Speaker 2: But I'm sorry, I'm sorry I have to interrupt you.
Speaker 2: What is the difference between filmmaking and media production? Somaking?
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, it's a completely valid question. Like
Speaker 4: with filmmaking, you are literally just like you're studying films,
Speaker 4: you're writing about them, and you like create them, and
Speaker 4: then you you are just basically working on stuff in
Speaker 4: the film industry, so you're working on like production. You
Speaker 4: learn how to write like scripts, you learn how to direct,
Speaker 4: produce to like sound editing and stuff like that. But
Speaker 4: with media production, that's like all kind of versions of
Speaker 4: like media in a sense. So like obviously like like
Speaker 4: a podcast is completely different to a film, Like that's
Speaker 4: completely different, like different kind of ways of going about it.
Speaker 4: And I would be learning like just loads of different things,
Speaker 4: and I'd be learning like different kinds of software and stuff.
Speaker 4: I just feel like it's better to be versed in
Speaker 4: lots and lots of different things and have like a
Speaker 4: broad knowledge on stuff than kind of honeing in one thing.
Speaker 4: And like I didn't, I didn't. I wasn't originally going
Speaker 4: to go to university. Like the last my last like
Speaker 4: the last year has kind of been a bit wild
Speaker 4: for me. But I'm kind of glad that I'm at
Speaker 4: this point where I'm like, you know what, I've realized
Speaker 4: that maybe I should do this course, and it's glad
Speaker 4: that I've kind of learned these things. I know, I'm
Speaker 4: still young and stuff like that. Everyone makes mistakes and whatever,
Speaker 4: but I've thought about it and I'm like, yeah, let's
Speaker 4: just continue with media production. That would be fun. And
Speaker 4: like the people here is cooled. Birmingham is a really
Speaker 4: creative city. Like it's a bit dodgy in some areas,
Speaker 4: don't get me wrong, like what every city is, but
Speaker 4: it's really fun. I've met some great people here.
Speaker 2: It's really good, Isabelle, Is there anything else I say
Speaker 2: to the people of the computer before.
Speaker 4: They go, don't give up on your dreams and don't
Speaker 4: let don't let people tell you what you can and
Speaker 4: can't do in your life. And just because you're young, obviously,
Speaker 4: don't make crazy, crazy decisions. But everyone's young and they
Speaker 4: make silly, silly decisions. Just live life, have fun, and
Speaker 4: I don't know, don't get any stupid tattoos or anything
Speaker 4: like that. I've got stuper tattoos. Don't do that. Just
Speaker 4: be normal or not normal, but have fun.
Speaker 3: I guess pretty good.
Speaker 2: H I'll see you if I ever come to Binghamton, Birmingham.
Speaker 4: Yes, Birmingham.
Speaker 3: Thank you, le.
Speaker 4: Have a good night.
Speaker 3: Man.
Speaker 2: I sucked it up. Why Binghamton, Birmingham, Birmingham. You know,
Speaker 2: I think people have told me I should go to Birmingham.
Speaker 2: There's all these like places. There's a Bristol, Birmingham, Cardiff.
Speaker 2: I've never been that. I've been to Brighton, London, Manchester.
Speaker 2: I like the UK though. The UK is a cool place.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll go Maybe I'll go there again. I'm sure
Speaker 2: I'll go there again at some point in my life
Speaker 2: to walk around and look at things which I which
Speaker 2: I which I often enjoyed, enjoyed to do. Thank you
Speaker 2: all for listening to the Therapy Gecko podcast I'm Lyle,
Speaker 2: I'm a gecko. Uh do I have any final thoughts?
Speaker 2: What do we learn? I don't know if we learned anything.
Speaker 2: We talked to Rory, Isabelle, and Nico, and I liked
Speaker 2: talking to all of them. I like getting to talk
Speaker 2: to people, and I like that people listen to people
Speaker 2: talking and it's good. And that's all I got until
Speaker 2: next time. Get Out never goes on the line taking
Speaker 2: your phone calls. Every night, the repon goes doing to ride.
Speaker 2: He's teaching you about in the middle of your life
Speaker 2: that he's not ready an expert