WEBVTT - Infamous: Sydney Gordon Part 2 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:03.520 Ben Higgins and Ashley I bring you Infamous. 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:07.600 Sometimes roses are red flags. This is part two of 0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:12.600 our conversation with Sydney on Infamous, Because sometimes roses are 0:00:12.760 --> 0:00:17.159 red flags. I think the redeeming moments typically from the 0:00:17.239 --> 0:00:20.080 show with characters like yourself, I don't think i'd put 0:00:20.120 --> 0:00:23.240 you in a villain category. I think you had villainous moments, 0:00:23.280 --> 0:00:26.800 maybe just towards one person. And I think I was 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:30.080 a statement I made when we were watching the show. 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:34.080 I think the Maria thing felt odd and off and 0:00:34.320 --> 0:00:35.800 not nice. A lot of times. 0:00:35.960 --> 0:00:38.120 It looks like I crushed on her. I think it 0:00:38.120 --> 0:00:39.320 looks like I was in love with her. 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:42.920 Yeah, that's cool too, Well, that's fine, that would be 0:00:42.960 --> 0:00:45.479 a great storyline on the show, and just trying to 0:00:45.479 --> 0:00:49.080 make those storylines before. I think the redeeming moment that 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:51.760 we need to hear from you, if there is one, 0:00:51.800 --> 0:00:53.960 and if there's not, then that's fine, and you just 0:00:54.000 --> 0:00:56.880 continue on with what you're doing. You look back on 0:00:56.880 --> 0:01:00.480 this experience you've you've lived in your learned what have 0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:03.400 you taken from it now personally for you as a 0:01:03.480 --> 0:01:05.160 human outside of the show. 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:08.760 I mean, obviously it's taken a lot of time, and 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:16.920 the experience was so intense, but I feel like I've 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:19.399 just had I was like forced to do so much 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:26.200 inner work and like reflecting and like setting boundaries and 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:28.959 just figuring out like who I want to be as 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:32.400 a person and like who like how I want to 0:01:32.440 --> 0:01:38.840 treat other people. Yeah, and I'm just like I think 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:43.000 that I was. I also was so frustrated, like I 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:47.120 found like myself to be like just having all this pain, 0:01:47.200 --> 0:01:51.040 and now like looking back on it, I can like 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:56.800 really look at other people's persuh, like how they see things, 0:01:56.800 --> 0:01:59.840 like especially like Maria, and just like look at it 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:03.200 from clarity and peace and just feel like, you know, 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:08.679 we're all just humans living on this earth. Like and 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:11.720 I don't know's that's kind of where I'm out with it. 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:14.200 I mean, I know after the show is really hard, 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:20.800 and that is never a desire of any especially Ashley myself, 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:23.840 maybe some other people out there. The hope is that 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:26.920 this doesn't continue on forever. But the hope is that 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:30.560 you do learn something from this experience, no matter if 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:33.560 you have a good experience, a bad experience, or somewhere 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:36.840 in between, that you walk off of this somewhat new 0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:38.880 and you've been able to reflect and watch yourself on 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:41.280 national television for a few weeks and then go, you 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:43.120 know what, I like that about myself or Hey, that 0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:47.160 felt like it wasn't a good decision that I made 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:48.840 at the time, and I need to kind of do 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:51.880 some introspection to figure out where that decision was coming 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:55.000 from in my life. It sounds like you have, you know, 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:59.119 done a lot of introspection since the show, and you've 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:02.040 done a lot of thinking about this experience. So how 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:06.640 does it make you feel now as you look back 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:11.280 knowing this was your time on the show and knowing 0:03:11.560 --> 0:03:14.880 that this could have gone a lot differently but it didn't. 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:18.359 How does it make you feel now being the person 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:18.880 that you are? 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:25.520 So again, I do think that I wish I handled 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:26.720 a lot of things differently. 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:31.799 I wish that I came from a little bit more 0:03:32.040 --> 0:03:38.240 understanding instead of like thinking that there was malicious intent 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:42.120 behind her, And I wish that. 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:46.480 It was never about the drama. But I if I 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:49.240 was to do it again, to be honest, I probably 0:03:49.400 --> 0:03:54.120 would stem from the same, like being a good friend 0:03:54.160 --> 0:03:56.880 and sticking up for a friend, like because that's how 0:03:56.920 --> 0:04:02.680 I saw how it was playing out. I do think 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:09.840 that you know, I wouldn't, you know, call Maria bitch 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:14.040 and all those things. But like, yeah, I think if 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:15.960 I was to do it all again, I would just 0:04:16.160 --> 0:04:20.920 try to completely avoid the drama altogether. I think that 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:24.719 the where all stand was so stupid, like it didn't 0:04:24.720 --> 0:04:29.640 even really matter, so I probably wouldn't even addressed it. Honestly. 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:33.360 It's a great segue into this clip that I want 0:04:33.360 --> 0:04:37.240 to play now, Ashley go fine. Maria was just recently 0:04:37.279 --> 0:04:42.600 on Jia Judae's podcast, Let's play this clip and kind 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:44.520 of hear what you think after. 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:47.200 Listening, you either loved me or hated me. It was 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:49.720 there was no in between. Yeah, but so I love 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:52.520 to hear that now. It was very obvious, even from 0:04:52.560 --> 0:04:58.000 a viewer standpoint though, to see that you were being attacked. Well, 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:00.640 I mean, and it's so crazy. Actually, I was getting 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:02.200 coffee today and a girl came up to me and 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:04.919 she was like, kid, be honest, was it real? Like 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:07.320 did it like Housewives? 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:07.960 You know what I mean? 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:10.719 And I'm like, you know, what's so funny. It's like, 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:14.640 as a viewer of the show, sometimes I'm like, there's 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:16.599 just no way these fights are so dumb. There's no 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:20.480 there's something's like off until I went on the show, 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:22.640 and then I realized, oh my god, there are just 0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:25.000 people out there that you know. But here's the thing 0:05:25.800 --> 0:05:30.880 about Sydney, I like appreciate her now, like looking back, 0:05:30.920 --> 0:05:34.760 I can really because we needed that. That like made 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:36.160 the show in ways. 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:37.960 It kind of made the season iconic. 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:38.680 That's what I mean. 0:05:38.760 --> 0:05:41.040 I needed, Like, I mean, I wasn't gonna start drawing, 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:45.000 but I was okay to like it happen and yeah. 0:05:44.160 --> 0:05:45.120 So what's your take on that? 0:05:46.320 --> 0:05:52.160 Yeah, so I've heard that old Sydney would be like, 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:56.960 all right, well that's a backhanded compliment, but like, knowing 0:05:57.440 --> 0:06:00.240 who she is, that that is her complimenting me now, 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:03.800 like because she does like me now and I understand 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:07.640 where she's coming from. I I never wanted to go 0:06:07.680 --> 0:06:12.040 into that experience trying to start drama, though I can 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:15.640 see how that. I can see how in like that environment, 0:06:15.880 --> 0:06:21.240 emotions run high, things unfold and there's it's not it's 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:26.760 not fully of like what we expected. I mean, I 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:32.279 was reacting in real time, trying to advocate for myself 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:38.520 and process everything as it happened. Looking back, I recognized 0:06:38.520 --> 0:06:41.159 that there were moments where I could have handled things differently, 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:46.000 and that's things like I was saying, like I reflected. 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:49.960 On a lot but said, like I hear this, and 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:53.839 I'm like, come on, girl. In the words of Latia, 0:06:53.960 --> 0:06:58.760 come on now, come on, now, come on, because she 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:02.920 said I wasn't going to start drama, but it happened. 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:07.719 Like I just think that Maria's personality, it could be 0:07:07.800 --> 0:07:09.480 like I could have hang would like to hang out 0:07:09.480 --> 0:07:13.160 with her. Truly, she seems fun, but she also seems 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:16.960 like someone who's probably prone to some drama being around her. 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:20.680 Yeah, I mean, like again, like it's just goes back 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:24.119 to like how we communicate so differently. Like I would 0:07:24.120 --> 0:07:28.000 hear that and like old Sydney would be offended and 0:07:28.040 --> 0:07:31.160 be like that's a bat candid compliment, you know, But 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:35.720 like now I'm just like, you know, I've had to 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:40.720 just set that free, you know, just like it is 0:07:40.800 --> 0:07:45.560 it's just who she is, and like, yeah, it's like, 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:48.360 you know, this is my year of growth, you know. 0:07:48.480 --> 0:07:51.119 It's just like I just have to let like she's 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:54.680 just Maria's Maria and like I don't think she meant 0:07:54.760 --> 0:07:55.800 any harm behind it. 0:07:55.920 --> 0:07:58.520 Sydney, You're winning. This is what I wanted you to 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:01.000 do during this show. This is exactly what I wanted 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:04.120 you to come up with when you're being filmed for 0:08:04.160 --> 0:08:07.160 these weeks, is to at some point say, hey, I 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:09.480 don't see the world the way she does. She doesn't 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:13.320 see the world the way I do, and as a result, 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:16.080 I'm just not entering into it. I am going to 0:08:16.200 --> 0:08:18.800 stay back and let this stuff play out. So you're 0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:23.560 doing it now, I'm just luty. You didn't do it, then, no. 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:26.200 Just what is in your face? You can't stop yourself. 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:29.080 I'm to be honest with you. There were so many 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:32.800 moments I did. There were so many moments I believe 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:38.240 it just didn't fit into character that I was supposed 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:49.360 to be. 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:52.480 One of the most annoying things that I received in 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:56.320 a very very small amount that you received in a 0:08:56.400 --> 0:08:59.559 very large amount, was people would say. 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:02.200 Your friend's me is a liar, like she is a liar. 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:05.240 First off, people aren't crazy because they say it like fact, 0:09:05.280 --> 0:09:08.160 as if what they see on TV is true fact, 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:11.000 there's no other context, and they truly know the person 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:15.400 through and through right. But the liar thing was very 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:21.280 annoying to me and to you because because I truly 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:23.080 still don't think you were lying. 0:09:23.200 --> 0:09:26.200 No, And that's that was what honestly hurt me the 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:29.000 most was to people, Yeah, call me a liar, and like, 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:34.280 I'm just gonna say this, like, there was not a 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:37.000 single thing that I lied about. I did not lie 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:39.280 about a single thing, whether it was I saw it 0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:43.280 for myself or it was told by me by production, 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:46.480 there is not a thing that I lied about. And 0:09:46.640 --> 0:09:50.040 I think people need to know that just because you 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:52.200 didn't see something doesn't mean it didn't happen. Like we 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:53.760 were filmed from the second we wake up to the 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:55.920 second we go to bed, and like, it's not going 0:09:56.000 --> 0:10:00.680 to fit into one episode. So and it also doesn't 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:05.360 pen to the storyline too, but so it's yeah, but 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:10.000 being called a liar, I was like, yeah, that al 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:11.200 was got hurt. 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:15.280 It's a big comment, Sydney for this, you know, as 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:18.560 we process the changing of the guard for the Bachelor 0:10:18.600 --> 0:10:22.679 franchise and a new team of producers and editors and 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:25.080 video and camera coming in and the old one is 0:10:25.120 --> 0:10:27.440 coming out, the ones that you were most familiar with, 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:31.000 and we kind of break down these stories of the 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:33.480 behind the scenes to try to make sense of It's 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:36.880 a big comment and it's a true comment. Now I 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:40.120 don't know your specific situation. I don't I wasn't there, 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:42.240 but for you to say you didn't lie about anything 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:45.720 and that everything was either said to you by somebody else, 0:10:46.040 --> 0:10:48.520 or you saw it for yourself or a producer said 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:51.200 it to you. Yeah, is bringing to light a lot 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:55.640 of the things that maybe allow this drama to unfold 0:10:55.679 --> 0:10:59.240 and allows you know, this chaos to happen and for 0:10:59.559 --> 0:11:03.480 people to hear things and then stand up and say things. 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:08.360 I think, Sidney, as we have processed this whole conversation 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:10.719 and you saying, hey, you're proud that you stood up. 0:11:10.960 --> 0:11:12.760 You know, in your life, you still want to be 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:15.520 the friend to stand up, you know for your friends. 0:11:15.600 --> 0:11:18.880 That's a great friend. I want that kind of friend. 0:11:18.920 --> 0:11:21.959 I think most people do. I also think for you 0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:25.280 to admit that they got you, that you were naive, 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:30.160 and that they they that you didn't stop it, that 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:33.000 you let it keep going, and that it's not editing. 0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:36.000 The Pigros. 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:38.080 You could have said no, and you could have said 0:11:38.080 --> 0:11:39.079 that's not what I'm going to do. 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:40.280 Ben. 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:42.240 Ben really loves to do this. 0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:46.680 Ben is you know, he's a prince character and you 0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:50.440 and I are by nature going we can't hold everything back. 0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:54.520 Many Yeah, I couldn't do it. 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:57.120 It wouldn't be being true to myself if I held 0:11:57.120 --> 0:11:57.560 it back. 0:11:58.000 --> 0:12:02.480 Yeah, I'm a very I'm an mpath like I just 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:05.200 it's just who I am. 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:08.160 I admit not everybody sees it like I do, and 0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:08.720 that's fine. 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:09.920 Yeah, yeah, I. 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:12.840 Don't blame you. I'm just saying I wish your story 0:12:12.840 --> 0:12:14.960 would have been different. And so that's where my question 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:18.800 comes here, Sidney, as we close up with you, your story 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:21.320 should have been, could have been different. That's not the 0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:24.720 person that you want to be in your daily life. 0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:28.240 And Maria doesn't haunt your dreams. I'm not I'm assuming here. 0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:30.199 I'm guessing she's not on your mind all the time. 0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:34.760 I'm guessing you have moved on from this. For anybody listening, 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:38.240 is there anything else that you'd want people to know 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:42.679 that we haven't asked you or touched on that would 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:46.760 help make not this situation come to light and turn 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:49.520 the table on Maria. We haven't done that. What we've 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:52.760 done is highlight the mistakes made and some of the 0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:55.080 reasons why it looked the way it looked. Is there 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:57.440 anything else that you'd want somebody to know? That we 0:12:57.520 --> 0:12:58.240 haven't asked you. 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:07.839 Like, you know, I think that it's not so black 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:11.520 and white. I don't think that like moving forward, that 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:14.600 there ever is a real true villain. I think that, 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:17.000 I know. I mean, like Maria' is like, oh what 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:19.520 you see is like what the drama was like, not 0:13:19.679 --> 0:13:23.240 how I perceived everything. Like my truth is so different. 0:13:23.320 --> 0:13:29.200 So everybody's truth in reality to the situation is different. 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:32.840 And that's just life. So it's just like that on 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:39.880 the show. And I mean I had to just work 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:44.000 on this entire year being okay with the world not knowing, 0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:47.680 so like I do. I feel like there is so 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:49.240 much I could go on and on and on and 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:54.440 on about like like production and this and that, and 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.520 I just don't think that there really is a need 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:02.080 for it. I mean I will say this, I will 0:14:02.080 --> 0:14:07.319 say one thing that that sometimes I mean when I 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:10.520 like have like people come to my store and they'll 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:12.559 like ask for a photo and stuff, and they'll be like, wait, 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:16.600 you're actually so nice, like and I'm just like, well, 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:22.480 I mean it's just the power of I know, we 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:27.200 hate it editing, but I would say this, like, uh, 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:33.800 there was a group date and I got up and 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:37.560 it looks like I walked away alone. But let's just 0:14:37.640 --> 0:14:40.040 say I wasn't the case. 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:43.080 What do you mean tell us everyone followed me. 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:46.240 Out because they were all on the same page as me, 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:48.440 kind of thing. I think. 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:52.000 I had moments, I had moments where I can relate 0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:55.480 to this completely. Like I just wish that I could 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:57.600 have told everyone and be like, you don't understand, like 0:14:57.640 --> 0:15:00.400 there was a reason why there was nobody else talking 0:15:01.000 --> 0:15:02.840 because everybody was agreeing with me. 0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:06.600 Yeah, yeah, I mean there were so many times where 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:12.080 it wasn't even just me. But I mean, at the 0:15:12.120 --> 0:15:15.120 same time, it's just like I've done so much work 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:19.160 being okay with that, like just being okay with me myself, 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:22.600 knowing my truth in my reality of it, you know, 0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:26.760 and like also I have I have, you know, like 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:30.320 I did make mistakes and I take full accountability for, 0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:33.920 you know, things I've said on the show that I did, 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:37.000 I don't mean, but it definitely was the result of 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:38.320 things that no one ever saw. 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:51.080 This was supposed to be the closing question, but I 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:56.800 guess you brought up a question now from your response. 0:15:57.480 --> 0:15:59.840 If what I think you were saying was there was 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:01.760 a group date that you got up and walked away 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:04.160 from and the show made it seem like you walked alone. 0:16:04.720 --> 0:16:08.320 But what you're saying is that everybody walked with you 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:10.680 because they were fed up with the situation at hand. 0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:14.400 So my question off of that is, then if that 0:16:14.640 --> 0:16:19.000 was true, how come no other cast members have said 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:21.320 that or stood up for you in that moment after 0:16:21.720 --> 0:16:23.080 it looked so differently? 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:28.480 Well, I mean, we're all tied to the NDA, and 0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:32.480 there was a lot of people unfortunately that you know, 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:36.640 switched up would come women tell all, which was like 0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:42.520 super shocking and unfortunate, But at the same time, it's 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:45.800 just like that's what they just they didn't want to 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:48.760 have to dive into it, you know, like they weren't involved, 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:52.360 and I don't expect them to, you know, put themselves 0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:53.960 in hole that they weren't even in. And it was 0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:57.600 kind of just like the way that it looked at 0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:01.000 the end of the day was me and Maria and 0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:08.520 they were off the hook, and I honestly they they 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:11.800 took the smart route by not getting involved at the 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:13.560 end of the day, Like does it suck, Yeah, it 0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:18.159 does suck. You know, people feeling like I felt like 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:20.760 pretty alone after it when it's just like there were 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:28.000 so many people that like had my back and and 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:31.480 stuck up for me during the season even though we 0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:34.920 didn't see it. But yeah, I just I mean, it's unfortunate, 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:37.040 but at the same time, like, I don't blame. 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:39.720 Them for not You know what's interesting is that they 0:17:39.760 --> 0:17:43.399 didn't let you do any interviews at all since the show. 0:17:43.960 --> 0:17:47.120 You haven't been able to speak on any platform until now, 0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:49.639 which you know, the contract lasts a year from like 0:17:49.720 --> 0:17:51.480 your last appearance date. 0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:53.800 Yeah, why do you think that is? 0:17:54.920 --> 0:18:01.640 Because I just think that it well also too, you're 0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:04.520 technically not allowed to talk about what didn't air, and 0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:09.320 then that's really all that I had, like to back 0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:13.000 me up. But at the same time, I just don't 0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:15.159 think that I was meant to be liked. I was not, 0:18:15.560 --> 0:18:18.359 Like my perspective was not meant to be shared. It 0:18:18.480 --> 0:18:22.639 just doesn't didn't fit the mold of like the character 0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:24.760 that I was supposed to be. I don't know what 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:26.879 do you think about that, Ash? 0:18:27.000 --> 0:18:29.560 I think it's interesting because they pretty much let everybody 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:33.840 talk these days on a podcast, especially their own Warner 0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:36.359 Brother one. But it always seems like somebody turns up 0:18:36.359 --> 0:18:39.239 on a really big podcast after that as well, and 0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:41.359 you were just never on the docket to be able 0:18:41.600 --> 0:18:44.840 to be talked to, and when we would inquire, even 0:18:45.000 --> 0:18:47.959 months after you were on the show, they still wouldn't 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:48.240 let you. 0:18:48.880 --> 0:18:52.480 Yeah, I know. But to be honest, like, I don't 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:54.840 even think it would have done me any good because 0:18:54.880 --> 0:19:00.400 I was still upset and like confused and yeah, in sight, 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:02.720 but maybe, I mean maybe it would have given people 0:19:02.800 --> 0:19:05.000 a little bit better of an understanding of like who 0:19:05.040 --> 0:19:07.000 I am at the slightest. 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:08.480 But I agree with you, I agree with you. I 0:19:08.480 --> 0:19:09.960 think it probably would have been bad. I think you 0:19:10.000 --> 0:19:13.600 probably would have been too defensive and it just wasn't 0:19:13.600 --> 0:19:17.000 the time for that. Now, did you look forward to 0:19:17.080 --> 0:19:21.160 possibly having an opportunity in Bachelor and Paradise to kind 0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:21.960 of clear your name? 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:26.959 Yeah, No, definitely I was looking forward to that. I 0:19:27.080 --> 0:19:30.879 was like, this could be a great opportunity for people 0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:33.000 to finally get to know me. And I feel like 0:19:33.040 --> 0:19:35.560 I feel and I'm ready, like I'm so ready to 0:19:35.600 --> 0:19:39.479 find my person. I like I've been ready even went 0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:42.640 on the show, like genuinely looking for that. 0:19:42.640 --> 0:19:43.680 That's not going to happen. 0:19:43.760 --> 0:19:46.200 It looks like, well, it's a mistake you not going 0:19:46.200 --> 0:19:46.800 on Paradise. 0:19:47.680 --> 0:19:50.000 No, I'm not not her mistake. 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:51.280 That's a big mistake. 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:57.320 Yeah, it's unfortunate, but like I said, everything happens for 0:19:57.359 --> 0:20:03.240 a reason. Yeah, and uh yeah, I don't know. It 0:20:03.320 --> 0:20:07.080 might be good. I've might just be opening wounds again 0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:11.040 as well. Yeah, but yeah, it's just really unfortunate about 0:20:11.680 --> 0:20:17.480 like just not getting that opportunity and then hearing who 0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:21.160 is going on and then you know, I just feel 0:20:21.200 --> 0:20:24.359 like I, I don't know, deserved a second chance. 0:20:24.840 --> 0:20:29.200 We all deserved second chances. Sidney and I hate I think. 0:20:29.640 --> 0:20:32.840 I think the perfect person for Paradise is somebody and 0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:35.560 this isn't what I wish on anybody. I think one 0:20:35.560 --> 0:20:37.960 of the many perfect people to go on Paradise is 0:20:37.960 --> 0:20:40.800 somebody that says they went on the show, they did 0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:43.280 their best. The show knows what they did to them. 0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:43.399 Now. 0:20:43.440 --> 0:20:45.800 I don't know if this new Bachelor and Paradise crew 0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:49.280 has any idea of what your experience was actually like 0:20:49.440 --> 0:20:51.840 on the show. I think there's very few, and I 0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:53.720 don't think many of those people still work on the 0:20:53.720 --> 0:20:57.320 show anymore. But anybody comes off of it and said 0:20:57.359 --> 0:21:01.480 the show made them feel alone is somebody that I said, 0:21:01.920 --> 0:21:05.960 I say as a fan of viewer, a former contestant. 0:21:06.840 --> 0:21:10.399 Paradise is the place for you, and it is a 0:21:10.440 --> 0:21:13.960 mistake that you aren't going because if this show made 0:21:13.960 --> 0:21:17.120 you feel alone, the show has a lot of issues, 0:21:17.320 --> 0:21:19.399 but one of the things the show has always done, 0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:22.480 at least in the few last few years, it's allowed 0:21:22.480 --> 0:21:26.800 the redemption story to happen in Paradise, which always becomes 0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:30.479 a very beautiful moment for you and for us fans. 0:21:30.560 --> 0:21:32.400 So it is a mistake that they haven't had you there. 0:21:32.440 --> 0:21:35.960 And I will say that it's something that is unfortunate 0:21:37.480 --> 0:21:39.720 that you will not be on the beaches to get 0:21:39.720 --> 0:21:44.520 your redemption story that no matter what you deserve, because 0:21:44.960 --> 0:21:47.480 this was not great for you. The show did not 0:21:47.880 --> 0:21:52.400 like help you find love or really you know, increase 0:21:52.840 --> 0:21:57.680 your self talk or make you feel any better. And 0:21:58.000 --> 0:21:59.280 that's why I want you in Paradise. 0:21:59.720 --> 0:22:05.439 Yeah, I think about it too, And I also I mean, 0:22:05.480 --> 0:22:09.600 there are people that there are a like few people 0:22:09.880 --> 0:22:14.359 that can you continue on to Paradise that know my situation, 0:22:14.960 --> 0:22:16.960 and one of them that I'm that I've been speaking to. 0:22:18.520 --> 0:22:20.920 But I'll be honest too, I think like I wasn't 0:22:21.240 --> 0:22:30.320 very proactively wanting to go on also because I wassident, 0:22:30.440 --> 0:22:34.119 because I was so hurt and upset and kind of 0:22:34.160 --> 0:22:39.199 like like, how could you know they do some of 0:22:39.200 --> 0:22:43.320 the things that they do to me? But but yeah, 0:22:43.600 --> 0:22:49.520 I just think that's like, that's I just had so 0:22:49.600 --> 0:22:50.800 much growth and I was like, I don't know if 0:22:50.840 --> 0:22:56.320 I even want to risk that again, you know. 0:22:57.080 --> 0:22:58.960 Sydney, thank you for coming on the show with us. 0:22:59.000 --> 0:23:02.040 Thank you for sharing your side. Thank you for being 0:23:02.080 --> 0:23:07.240 so nervous to talk to me. Goodness, am so scary. 0:23:07.760 --> 0:23:09.399 It makes me feel good about myself. I'm going to 0:23:09.400 --> 0:23:12.480 tell my wife that somebody was scary. I thought I 0:23:12.560 --> 0:23:17.520 was scary. She'll laugh. Sidney, thank you for sharing your side. 0:23:17.600 --> 0:23:20.879 We hope, I mean, I know Ashley is going to 0:23:21.000 --> 0:23:22.840