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Speaker 1: Hay, sweeties, it's Christophine Hazel and this is a special

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Speaker 1: reair of one of our most soul sterned conversations on

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Speaker 1: Keep It Positive.

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Speaker 2: Sweetie.

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Speaker 1: Sarah Jakes Roberts came through and poured into us with

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Speaker 1: so much purpose and transparency, from her journey to redemption

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Speaker 1: to leading women into their own healing, This episode lets

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Speaker 1: something in so many of us. I still get messages

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Speaker 1: about how her words spart transformation. If you're just discovering

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Speaker 1: this episode, get ready for a word that will.

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Speaker 2: Meet you right where you are.

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Speaker 1: Enjoy This video is brought to you by Betterhelp.

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Speaker 2: Thank you Better Help for sponsoring this video.

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Speaker 1: When it comes to therapy, there is no secret of

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Speaker 1: the stigma that comes along with it. Sometimes you may

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Speaker 1: be embarrassed, or not know how to articulate how you

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Speaker 1: really feel, or not even know why you feel the

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Speaker 1: way you feel.

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Speaker 2: I've been there.

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Speaker 1: It was twenty twenty when I really decided to take

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Speaker 1: my therapy walk serious, and I must be honest, it

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Speaker 1: took me a while to find the right therapist.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: I look at finding a therapist kind of like dating.

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Speaker 1: You gotta meet a few people to see which one

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Speaker 1: really is good for you, someone that you can trust,

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Speaker 1: someone that you can really be honest with, because it's

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Speaker 1: so important. Well, if you are looking for a therapist,

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Speaker 1: I have something for you, and that's Better Help. Better

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Speaker 1: Help is an app that you can use right on

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Speaker 1: your phone. Guys, just downloaded. They're going to ask you

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Speaker 1: a few questions to really get to know you and

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Speaker 1: your needs, and they will pair you with a licensed

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Speaker 1: therapist that specializes in what you need help with. Use

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Speaker 1: a taste between twenty four to eight hours for them

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Speaker 1: to get back with you. But guys, you can do

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Speaker 1: this from anywhere. Sometimes you may not want to leave

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Speaker 1: your home because this is where you're really comfortable, or

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Speaker 1: you may.

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Speaker 3: Be on the go.

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Speaker 1: There's no excuse. You can do it from anywhere.

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Speaker 2: Guys.

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Speaker 1: They do all the work for you. So let's do

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Speaker 1: this together. Let's get better with Better Help. You can

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Speaker 1: even use my code and get a discount at www

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Speaker 1: dot betterhelp dot com. Forward slash Christorine, Let's get better

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Speaker 1: with Better Help.

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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to this episode.

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Speaker 1: To keep it positive, sweetie, I am Christine Hazlet and

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Speaker 1: today I have with me Guys, I'm so excited about

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Speaker 1: this one. I have the Sarah Jakes Roberts.

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Speaker 2: Hi, thank you.

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Speaker 3: So much, Recco. I'm so excited.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm so excited when you're on your book too.

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Speaker 1: Right now.

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Speaker 2: We got you to stop by.

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Speaker 1: When you DM me and ask me to be a

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Speaker 1: part of the tour, I literally was like, is.

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Speaker 2: This a spam message? Just really hurt.

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Speaker 1: So I had to go to the PANM like, wait,

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Speaker 1: this is really her.

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Speaker 4: Of course, you're making such an incredible impact. I know

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Speaker 4: that you're gonna to add so much value.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much. I'm so excited.

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Speaker 3: I'm so excited.

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Speaker 2: I hope to see you guys there tonight. I can't wait.

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Speaker 1: Well, by the time this airs, it would already happen,

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Speaker 1: but I hope to see you guys there. I like

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Speaker 1: to start off each episode with either a quote or

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Speaker 1: a song, and today I thought it would be only

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Speaker 1: fitting to do a quote from your new book. Okay,

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Speaker 1: power Mouse, make sure you guys get it.

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Speaker 2: It is so good and it's so powerful.

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Speaker 1: The quote says, the only thing worse than being powerless

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Speaker 1: is falling for the illusion that power can be a

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Speaker 1: mess by what you have instead of who you are

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Speaker 1: willing to become. Ye, when I read that I was like,

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Speaker 1: that is so powerful because a lot of times we

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Speaker 1: look around like, well I don't have this, I don't

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Speaker 1: have that, only have that, but not thinking, hey, it's

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Speaker 1: really what I need to be to get where I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to go, for sure, So ione to open up

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Speaker 1: with that, because I know a lot of times people

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Speaker 1: get caught up in the now and like looking to

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Speaker 1: where they want to go and like feel stuck, you know.

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Speaker 2: So that really spoke to me.

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Speaker 4: Thank you, or people who have a lot realized that

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Speaker 4: I still feel empty on the inside.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, my street. No, for sure, I feel like.

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Speaker 1: My mom used to always tell me, it's never enough,

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Speaker 1: like you're never satisfied. And I feel like and Tyler

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Speaker 1: always says, once you hit the top of one level,

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Speaker 1: it's like starting all over grade in one.

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Speaker 2: And I feel like that's where in my.

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Speaker 1: Life right now, Like I reached another level and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh gosh, now I'm having to learn everything all over

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Speaker 1: again for this level. It's like trying to find new

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Speaker 1: codes and how to like a video game, like how

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Speaker 1: do I get past this level?

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Speaker 2: And I'm in that space right now.

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Speaker 1: But that's so true.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that makes me, what are you learning about this season.

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Speaker 1: You know what I am learning is that this is

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Speaker 1: what I prayed for a lot of times, I feel

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Speaker 1: myself getting really stressed out. I'm like, oh lord, okay,

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Speaker 1: I asked you it's enlarge my territory, but I didn't

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Speaker 1: know this is what came with the enlarging of the territory.

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Speaker 1: So for me, I'm learning to just pause. Even yesterday,

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Speaker 1: I had a situation with my stylists.

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Speaker 2: Not to call you out, but I'm calling you out.

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Speaker 1: She was supposed to send something for tonight yesterday and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, where's the clothes?

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Speaker 2: And She's like, oh my gosh, I've been.

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Speaker 1: So swamped I and get it. And I'm like in

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Speaker 1: the middle of studying the film next week and I

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Speaker 1: normally I would have had a panic attack just thinking

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Speaker 1: like I don't have time, so like it just necesses

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Speaker 1: everything up. When everything doesn't fall into place, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, give people grace? And you used to

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Speaker 1: be a silace figure it out, So like, what's the

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Speaker 1: solution because I used to like have a little pity party.

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Speaker 1: Now it's like, you know what, find a solution.

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Speaker 2: Breathe.

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Speaker 1: Everything's fine, and everything's fine, that's the main thing.

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Speaker 2: And you still got a job as long as my

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Speaker 2: clothes get But no, I am.

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Speaker 1: I'm learning to give myself grace and give other people grace. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And that's the main thing, because I feel like a

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Speaker 1: lot of times we're so hard on ourselves. I have

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Speaker 1: a I had, I'm working on it, a perfectionist spirit

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Speaker 1: where and it came from a childhood like everything had

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Speaker 1: to be right just because I didn't want to get

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Speaker 1: in trouble or I was scared to make a bad

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Speaker 1: grade because I didn't certain different things I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to happen. So like this perfection thing just carried through

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Speaker 1: my whole life and even as an adult into relationships.

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Speaker 1: Just everything had to be perfect.

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Speaker 2: And that's just not.

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Speaker 3: Life, No, not even a little bit right.

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Speaker 1: Seriously, have you ever dealt with anything like that?

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Speaker 3: Man?

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Speaker 4: I think my thing was once I figured I messed up,

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Speaker 4: like in the eyes of the church and the eyes

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Speaker 4: of my family, once I became a teen mom, I

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Speaker 4: felt like the bar was so low for me that

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Speaker 4: there was no there was no reason to try and

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Speaker 4: be perfect. So I think I just was like, we'll

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Speaker 4: try whatever, we'll do whatever. And so I think come

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Speaker 4: into a space where I find worth in value and

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Speaker 4: myself has allowed me to work on my own set

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Speaker 4: of ethics that weren't based on someone else's opinion or

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Speaker 4: perspective of who I was, because I didn't have a

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Speaker 4: lot to reach for.

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Speaker 1: Wow, that is powerful.

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Speaker 2: You touched on fourteen year old Sarah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to talk to fourteen year old Sarah

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Speaker 1: because we have.

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Speaker 3: Where you're going to try and make me cry.

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Speaker 1: No, okay, no really no, no, no no. But we

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Speaker 1: have like a wide range of age groups in our community.

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Speaker 1: I have high school girls all the way to women.

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Speaker 1: Oh you say, are more mature women, are seasoned women? Yes,

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Speaker 1: So I want to talk to fourteen year old Sarah

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Speaker 1: because I know just being the daughter of bishop the

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Speaker 1: Bishop Tdjake's already carries a way to responsibility that you

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Speaker 1: didn't ask for even as a child. You know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying. Growing up in the church and the church

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Speaker 1: can be one of the most judgmental places.

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Speaker 2: That there is.

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Speaker 1: What was that like in the mental of fourteen year

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Speaker 1: old Sarah realizing, Oh my goodness, I made a mistake

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Speaker 1: and what you probably felt was a grave mistake in

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Speaker 1: the eyes of a pastor's daughter.

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Speaker 4: You know, I was so young, so I was technically

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Speaker 4: thirteen when I got pregnant. I was so young that

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Speaker 4: the worst thing I could think about was like, oh

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Speaker 4: my gosh, I'm going to get a wooman, I'm going

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Speaker 4: to get grounded. I wasn't even thinking about the implications

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Speaker 4: of like having a child. All I could think about

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Speaker 4: is how my parents would respond. It was their response

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Speaker 4: that let me know that this is bigger than trouble,

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Speaker 4: like your life has changed. There was something about the

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Speaker 4: way they responded that made me realize, like, this isn't

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Speaker 4: something grounding's going to fix. This isn't something that we're

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Speaker 4: going to take the TV away. I had no idea

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Speaker 4: what it meant to be a parent. I had no idea,

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Speaker 4: and then their grief let me know that this is

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Speaker 4: going to be hard. And then I begin to realize,

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Speaker 4: not only am I going to have to figure out

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Speaker 4: whatever it means to be a parent at fourteen years old,

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Speaker 4: I'm also going to have to do it with this audience.

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Speaker 4: And so the first time anyone at the church even

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Speaker 4: knew that I was pregnant, I had my son in

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Speaker 4: the October, so my Mother's Day, my parents knew the

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Speaker 4: mother's day before I had him. Yeah, and I wasn't showing.

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Speaker 4: But there was a family friend who knew and my

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Speaker 4: father did a prayer for mothers in the church and

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Speaker 4: he asked them mothers to stand and this woman grabbed

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Speaker 4: me by my hand and has me stand up.

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Speaker 2: What I just got chills?

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Speaker 3: What it was that was?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, messy, like girl, what is your I was like, ma'am.

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Speaker 4: But that see, I think part of how I think

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Speaker 4: I even ended up pregnant was like, so my parents

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Speaker 4: when we lived in West Virginia that's where I was born,

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Speaker 4: we would like it was a smaller family church. We'd

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Speaker 4: all sit together when we moved to Dallas because of

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Speaker 4: just how that church was set at, Like my parents

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Speaker 4: sat on the platform and we sat on the floor.

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Speaker 4: And so that separation at like seven eight years old

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Speaker 4: was the beginning me feeling like I don't know where

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Speaker 4: I fit like and then we had fifteen hundred people

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Speaker 4: joined the church that Sunday, and so it's like you

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Speaker 4: mean something to them, but you don't really know what

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Speaker 4: you mean to them.

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Speaker 3: And then I don't have this.

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Speaker 4: Comfort or security blanket which would have been my parents.

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Speaker 4: And so she didn't even know until after service. My

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Speaker 4: sister was so upset. My sister was so upset.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't the place for that to do that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: how did you feel that moment? Were you just like humiliated?

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Speaker 3: Like what are you?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that was the beginning of shame. That was the

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Speaker 4: beginning of shame. I think before then, like I knew

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Speaker 4: my life had changed. I was still probably trying to

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Speaker 4: figure out what that meant. I knew my parents were

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Speaker 4: grieving and working through something. But the beginning of embarrassment,

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Speaker 4: and as shamed happened before I was even showing wow,

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Speaker 4: and it just carried on throughout then wondering like what

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Speaker 4: do people think about me? Or knowing what people thought

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Speaker 4: about me? You know, people like you know, fast girls

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Speaker 4: are contagious, so like we got to pull our daughters

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Speaker 4: away from you.

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Speaker 3: So that was an interesting sting.

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Speaker 1: It's funny when you say fast girls are contagions. We

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Speaker 1: had to pull our daughters away from you. I remember

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Speaker 1: my brother, he had gotten in trouble when he was younger,

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Speaker 1: and as parents, you want to when you you see

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Speaker 1: other people's children, saying, don't hang around him because he's

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Speaker 1: a troublemaker. And your son hasn't done anything yet. But

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Speaker 1: then when your son gets in trouble and you feel

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Speaker 1: what it feels like for other is like stay away

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Speaker 1: from him, crazy, it's a different feeling, and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: then you realize what that feels like. It's not until

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Speaker 1: it's your child that people are saying, don't hang around

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Speaker 1: that when I don't.

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Speaker 2: She's a troublemaker.

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Speaker 1: He's a troublemaker that they realize, Oh, this is what

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Speaker 1: I was doing too to understand their kids.

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Speaker 4: And it's so interesting now that I am a parent,

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Speaker 4: I think that, like, separation is what we use instead

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Speaker 4: of conversation. So instead of talking about like what types

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Speaker 4: of conversations are you all having at your age? Like

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Speaker 4: how did you feel about that? And like what do

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Speaker 4: you think about your own body and your own like what,

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Speaker 4: we don't have conversations. We just separate, which doesn't necessarily

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Speaker 4: keep it from happening, because that's where having communication with

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Speaker 4: our children, we're just setting them up to do something

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Speaker 4: with a different friend group.

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Speaker 2: You know exactly. That's so true.

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Speaker 1: How do you have transparent and vulnerable conversations with your kids?

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Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, okay, because you know now, I like

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Speaker 4: I'm probably overboard.

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Speaker 3: They're probably sicking me.

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Speaker 1: Mom.

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Speaker 4: So a few years ago, my daughter was singing a

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Speaker 4: song in the car, is like some Lizzo song, and

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Speaker 4: she whatever it was, I don't remember exactly the song,

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Speaker 4: but whatever it was, I could tell she was talking

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Speaker 4: about something nasty, but she was it had some candy

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Speaker 4: on it. Someone nastiness, right, And so I paused it

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Speaker 4: and I was like, what do you think she just

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Speaker 4: meant by that? And she was like, I don't know,

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Speaker 4: I just like to be I was like, what she's

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Speaker 4: talking about is someone that I'm using like the biological

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Speaker 4: names body parts? Like how about this happening there? She's like,

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Speaker 4: I was like, in that gross, Isn't that terrible?

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Speaker 1: Break?

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Speaker 4: Because I just want you to understand that, like part

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Speaker 4: of the messages that are being sent are so sugarcoated

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Speaker 4: that you will be bopping your head to something that

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Speaker 4: you actually think is gross. And I'm like, okay, the

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Speaker 4: beat it like, I'm not trying to take your little

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Speaker 4: shoulder bop away. I just want you to know that

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Speaker 4: while your shoulders are bopping, they're trying to send you

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Speaker 4: a message exact.

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Speaker 3: And so she was early in her.

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Speaker 4: Life when we started asking when she when we had

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Speaker 4: that conversation.

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Speaker 3: Another thing I've done is I'm like, anything in.

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Speaker 4: The world that you asked me, I won't answer because

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Speaker 4: if you were grown enough to ask me, if it's

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Speaker 4: circling in your world, circling in your thoughts, I want

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Speaker 4: you to know that, no matter what, if you ask me,

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Speaker 4: I will tell you the truth. And my girls take

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Speaker 4: full advantage of this. I tell my husband sometimes some

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Speaker 4: of the stuff they're asking me, like, oh.

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Speaker 2: I don't ask you, right, do not ask me that.

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Speaker 4: But it's really funny to hear what's happening in their school,

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Speaker 4: Like I'm keeping up with all their friends, and like, oh,

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Speaker 4: what was she talking my house?

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Speaker 3: Her friends?

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Speaker 4: How are things with her mom? I'm not like the

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Speaker 4: other mom. I'm a cool mom right right.

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Speaker 2: I can sense that.

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Speaker 4: But it helps me. It helps me to keep a

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Speaker 4: pulse on their world. My kids are really really important

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Speaker 4: to me. And then the scheme of all of what's

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Speaker 4: happening in my life. I just want them to always

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Speaker 4: feel centered stage and I want them to know that

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Speaker 4: I want to be a part of your world. You're

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Speaker 4: not just in my world. I want to be a

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Speaker 4: part of your world. And we work towards that.

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Speaker 3: I love.

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Speaker 2: That is amazing.

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Speaker 3: I thank you. I love being a mom.

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Speaker 2: It's okay.

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Speaker 1: Now let me tell you something personal. I go back

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Speaker 1: and forth if I want to have kids. I'm forty

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Speaker 1: one now, like you know, as we get older, it's

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Speaker 1: harder to have kids and PD. I go to change

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Speaker 1: church doctor Dais Daniels, and he told the story about Sarah,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, well, maybe I'll have a Sarah moment,

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Speaker 1: you know where, like later on in life, if God's willing,

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Speaker 1: then I'll have a have a child. But I am

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Speaker 1: so scared to bring up a child into the world

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Speaker 1: that it is today because it's not like it was

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Speaker 1: when we were growing up.

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Speaker 2: It is so different.

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Speaker 1: And I just think about all the influence from social

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Speaker 1: media to the music, you know, even like the music

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Speaker 1: we listen to back then in the nineties they were

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Speaker 1: saying some freaky stuff.

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Speaker 2: Now and now I'm growing up, Like.

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Speaker 3: I know.

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Speaker 4: The fact that I could rap word for words due

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Speaker 4: to Christ's song I want to do things in the

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Speaker 4: back of the card.

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Speaker 3: I mean word for word.

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Speaker 4: I know I was when I think about it in context,

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Speaker 4: like now, I'm like, no, wonder you got pregnant.

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Speaker 3: It's not didn't exist in your world, right. R.

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Speaker 4: Kelly was out here talking about Ignition, Keith Ignition, like

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Speaker 4: there was a curiosity in the music. And that has

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Speaker 4: really help me to forgive myself too, because a lot

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Speaker 4: of times I was just looking at what I did,

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Speaker 4: but not the context that I was raised in when

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Speaker 4: I made those choices. So my parents are busy, they're working,

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Speaker 4: and I am literally being raised by the culture.

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Speaker 3: Ye I'm being raised by hip hop.

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Speaker 4: I'm being raised by music, and so it was not

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Speaker 4: as far off.

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Speaker 3: As people people made it. Sing.

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Speaker 4: Even seeing my daughter years ago, We're listening to a

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Speaker 4: song she's fourteen now, and they're talking about sex in

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Speaker 4: the song, and so it's not as like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 4: where did this come from?

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Speaker 5: Right?

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Speaker 2: It's everywhere.

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Speaker 3: It's everywhere, and.

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Speaker 1: You turn TV on, it's on the TV, it's in

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Speaker 1: the music, it's on social media, like everywhere you turning them.

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Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, I was like, do I

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Speaker 1: want to bring up a checause I know how protect

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Speaker 1: volume of my nieces and nephews and people I love

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Speaker 1: I would get on my child's nerves.

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Speaker 2: They'd be like, Mama, believe I'm like, where're you going?

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Speaker 3: Where you going?

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Speaker 4: So I totally support the women's you know, right to

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Speaker 4: be able to say, I don't know if motherhood is

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Speaker 4: going to be my thing, like I may be the

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Speaker 4: rich Auntie Vibes is very much couldn't been rich Auntie

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Speaker 4: Vibes in here definitely not giving toys. I'm gonna be

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Speaker 4: honest with you. Oh my gosh, it's not getting diapers.

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Speaker 4: But you know, you know it could.

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Speaker 3: It could if you wanted to want to, but it

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Speaker 3: could not if you don't want it.

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Speaker 1: I got a basement that all the walls are black,

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Speaker 1: dark ferns.

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Speaker 3: Just dart down there. They can go down, they can

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Speaker 3: go down there, do all of the massive.

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Speaker 1: My my brother's girlfriend was changing my nephew's diaper on

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Speaker 1: that sofa back there, how that custom sofa? Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I came, I said, can you put him on the floor.

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Speaker 1: She's like, I'm not.

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Speaker 2: She's like, I'm not gonna Can.

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Speaker 4: You put him on the floor just to be safe?

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Speaker 2: I don't even know.

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Speaker 1: I was like, and it's so funny because he'll come

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Speaker 1: through her hands on And sometimes I tell the cleaning

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Speaker 1: ladies just leave that there just so I can see,

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Speaker 1: Like his little head on the window.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, well, maybe I could.

394
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Speaker 3: It is an incredible journey.

395
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:59,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's an incredible journey to see a version of yourself,

396
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Speaker 4: but also to experience this person who has their unique

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00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:11,159
Speaker 4: imprint and identity. It's petrifying, it's exciting, but it's one

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Speaker 4: of the things I love.

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Speaker 3: It is I mean, I love you in.

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Speaker 4: My husband's wife, Yes, but it's one of the things

401
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Speaker 4: I love the most in my world.

402
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Speaker 1: That's amazing. You talk about how you want your children

403
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Speaker 1: to feel like they're a part of your life, not

404
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:24,840
Speaker 1: just in your life, and.

405
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Speaker 2: A part of her book.

406
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,520
Speaker 1: You let me get to the note you talked about

407
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:32,359
Speaker 1: here we go. You talked about imagine me, imagine with me.

408
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:35,280
Speaker 1: You're standing in an empty parking lot with reserve spaces.

409
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Speaker 1: You can't tell what each spot is labeled, but each

410
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,040
Speaker 1: time a new expression of your identity is added, a

411
00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:44,160
Speaker 1: car pulls into a spot. Eventually you see that there

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Speaker 1: are spots labeled child, friend, sibling, partner, leader, students, entrepreneur.

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Speaker 2: Or colleague, each spot with its own car.

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Speaker 1: When you are navigating the responsibility of your life, you're

415
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Speaker 1: moving from one vehicle to the next. So you were

416
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,800
Speaker 1: on this tour, seven city tour. How are you finding

417
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,000
Speaker 1: time for your children, your husband, your team?

418
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:07,359
Speaker 2: You got so much going on, Like how do you

419
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Speaker 2: balance it off? Preaching? You're doing everything well.

420
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Speaker 4: I put a lot of time in with the family

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Speaker 4: before I go on the road. That's good, a lot

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Speaker 4: of time. So my husband and I are usually taking

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Speaker 4: them to school. My husband and I are picking them up,

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Speaker 4: so my whole world fits around their school schedule. It's amazing,

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Speaker 4: Like after two thirty, I can't take any meetings, Like

426
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Speaker 4: maybe I could take something at four thirty when I

427
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,000
Speaker 4: get home, but my world centers around them when I'm home,

428
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,080
Speaker 4: so that when I tell them that I need to

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Speaker 4: take some time to do the thing that I get

430
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Speaker 4: to do that I love to do that makes me

431
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,320
Speaker 4: feel fulfilled, they are more willing because I put in

432
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Speaker 4: a lot of time at home. Even then, we're doing

433
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,840
Speaker 4: a lot of texting, a lot of face timing. I

434
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,159
Speaker 4: was on the face time last night with my daughter

435
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,440
Speaker 4: having she's eight. We were definitely having some girl time,

436
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:52,280
Speaker 4: some girl talk. But I stay in touch with them.

437
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:55,000
Speaker 4: Then my husband's on the road with me too, and

438
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:58,719
Speaker 4: he's like also helping me to facilitate everything connected with

439
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:02,040
Speaker 4: the tour, so you know my soft place.

440
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:03,080
Speaker 3: When it's finished.

441
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 4: Because a lot of this requires me to be more

442
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:10,320
Speaker 4: extroverted than I am naturally and to have more energy

443
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,000
Speaker 4: than I usually do. And I always tell people like,

444
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,919
Speaker 4: he knows how much it cost me to beat me,

445
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,800
Speaker 4: And so when the day is over, to be able

446
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,960
Speaker 4: to have someone who's like, I know that was expensive,

447
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,000
Speaker 4: it grounds me.

448
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,320
Speaker 2: That is so good. Yeah, I'm the same way. I

449
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:26,120
Speaker 2: am like introverted.

450
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,840
Speaker 1: But then they tell me I'm the most introverted extrovert person. Really, yes,

451
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 1: because my bad social battery runs very fast.

452
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,120
Speaker 3: Okay, And I'm like, okay, I need I need a minute.

453
00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,199
Speaker 1: I'll go to my corner so I can recharge. And

454
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,480
Speaker 1: then I come back and I'm like, okay.

455
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:40,600
Speaker 2: Let's ask some fun that.

456
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:46,880
Speaker 4: See, I'm only introverted, I said, I'm so weird. I'll

457
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,359
Speaker 4: be trying to tell people like I would love to

458
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 4: spend the day with you. I was like, you would

459
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 4: be so disappointed. I am so socially awkward it's not

460
00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 4: even funny. But it tastes so much for me to

461
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,280
Speaker 4: be like, all right, I'm gonna go talk to people,

462
00:19:58,320 --> 00:19:59,240
Speaker 4: like in a room.

463
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,480
Speaker 3: Full of people, girl, it's something because.

464
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 4: You can put words together that that means you're not introverted.

465
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,680
Speaker 4: But it's like, just because I know how to use words,

466
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,840
Speaker 4: it doesn't mean I want to use right.

467
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 3: That part is so true.

468
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 1: I'm the same literally the same way my friends tell

469
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:16,720
Speaker 1: me that I said.

470
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:17,960
Speaker 2: She'll ask me if I want to do something.

471
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,160
Speaker 1: I like no, no, you say no so easy and

472
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,679
Speaker 1: like with no life no because there is no because no.

473
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:26,200
Speaker 2: I can't do it.

474
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:31,000
Speaker 1: I can The Nora will tell you that there's times

475
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,280
Speaker 1: where I'm like, oh, like I just need a minute,

476
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,639
Speaker 1: And she's like the best housemate because she knows, like

477
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:38,160
Speaker 1: as soon as we're done working, go to our respective corners,

478
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 1: like she goes to yeah, and it's almost like nobody's here,

479
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:42,400
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is great.

480
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:43,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that.

481
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,479
Speaker 4: I love traveling with people who who like don't make

482
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 4: me feel like we're traveling together.

483
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I learned that with Tyler him, Yeah, understanding

484
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,359
Speaker 1: that this person has a million things going on. They

485
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:56,480
Speaker 1: don't need me talking. They just need to feel like

486
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:57,760
Speaker 1: you're not there almost.

487
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:58,440
Speaker 3: That's the thing.

488
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,879
Speaker 4: That's the thing because a lot of times when I

489
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 4: am working with someone intimately like they're like, now here's

490
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:07,000
Speaker 4: my chance to like tell you all of the things

491
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 4: that I want to tell you.

492
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:10,400
Speaker 2: You're doing this, I need you.

493
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 3: A little less.

494
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:17,479
Speaker 4: I mean when I'm with my kids, like they're talking

495
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 4: twenty four to seven, So if I'm I'm constantly around talking,

496
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 4: so silence refueled me.

497
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,159
Speaker 3: So I need silence.

498
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:28,000
Speaker 1: Saying I am the same way. Oh my goodness, you

499
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:33,240
Speaker 1: talked about Terray being your pastor Teray you, I'm the

500
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:37,720
Speaker 1: respectful way pastor Terray being your sauce face, especially on

501
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 1: the road. Do you remember the first person that made

502
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 1: you feel seen and safe?

503
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 4: Ooh okay, yes, the first I'm going to say people

504
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,679
Speaker 4: who made me feel seen and safe were the people

505
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:58,879
Speaker 4: who were around my parents. So there's their head of

506
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 4: security who with my son's godfather, Sean Smith. There was

507
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:08,320
Speaker 4: a gentleman who worked in our home. His name was

508
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 4: Anthony Smith. He died suddenly and it felt like, you know,

509
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 4: losing an adoptive father. But he was there throughout my

510
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 4: pregnancy and said, baby girl, you're gonna be all right, Like,

511
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,680
Speaker 4: baby girl, you're gonna make it through this. And Cammy Garner,

512
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,720
Speaker 4: who was my mom's assistant, she's still a part of

513
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,080
Speaker 4: my mom's team, and she's been there for like twenty years.

514
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 4: Even though my parents were balancing all of these things,

515
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,480
Speaker 4: there were these people around them that took such good

516
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 4: care of me that they made me feel seen in

517
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:37,720
Speaker 4: value just for who I was.

518
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:38,920
Speaker 2: That is beautiful.

519
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 1: That is beautiful because I know oftentimes when I'm sure

520
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 1: being Bischo Jake's daughter, you feel like it takes a team,

521
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 1: for sure, And I'm sure those people are helped fulfill

522
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 1: all those spots where maybe Daddy wasn't there because when

523
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,360
Speaker 1: he was all over the world.

524
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 4: All over the world the world, especially at the age

525
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 4: that I was growing up, things had really taken off.

526
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 3: So he would like preach on there was like three.

527
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:06,080
Speaker 4: Services on Sunday, a Saturday service. He'd get on the

528
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 4: plane and he'd like preach all of these different churches,

529
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 4: come home on Saturday, and then like leaving in on Sunday,

530
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,439
Speaker 4: like twenty four Saturdays, and sometimes my mom would go

531
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 4: with him. It would just like we didn't know like

532
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 4: when this was coming, when he was going, But there

533
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,120
Speaker 4: were these people who would like take the time to

534
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 4: be there for us and told us around the things

535
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,440
Speaker 4: and God's in help.

536
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, for sure, it wasn't long ago that your

537
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 1: father passed down the torch of women there are loose,

538
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 1: And in that moment he didn't lose his power, but

539
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,159
Speaker 1: you gained a huge set of responsibility and power in that.

540
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 2: What was that like?

541
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 4: So everyone knew that women that are loose was coming

542
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 4: to an end, and they were like, you know, you're next,

543
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 4: your next, But woman evolved already existed. So I was

544
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,439
Speaker 4: a little confused with like, I don't know what people like,

545
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,880
Speaker 4: I don't know what y'all think is about to happen.

546
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 2: Here, because well you put that on your should.

547
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:07,159
Speaker 3: He dragged me so low, he dragged me.

548
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 4: So first of all, I'm like, Okay, so he's gonna

549
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 4: honor what woman evolve is in the context of woman

550
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,679
Speaker 4: that lose. I'm like, that's the extent of it. Like

551
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 4: maybe he's going to tell people, hey, woman evolved. But

552
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:20,680
Speaker 4: I did not think it was going to be this whole,

553
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 4: entire thing.

554
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,200
Speaker 1: Yes, and it was a thing, a thing.

555
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 4: It was a whole thing, down to a video of

556
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 4: like how we got here and yeah, so that was

557
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 4: ugly crying for the world to see.

558
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 3: Oh, you know, I have a limit limits.

559
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 4: I can't fool with you today, So don't even I'm

560
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 4: not really you know what I mean. I'm a little

561
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 4: because I don't know what you do to me today.

562
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,439
Speaker 4: But I will say that above like what it meant for,

563
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 4: like woman evolved and woman that art loose, like that

564
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 4: was less important to me as much as and I

565
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,639
Speaker 4: didn't know this until afterwards, the fact that my father's

566
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,879
Speaker 4: poor so much of his life into women that aren't loose,

567
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:06,199
Speaker 4: and for him to say, I'm going to lay this

568
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:10,119
Speaker 4: at your feet, like my influence, the knowledge that I

569
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 4: have these people who I have walked through so many

570
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,639
Speaker 4: different stages of life. I trust you with them, and

571
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 4: I trust that you can handle whatever comes with this platform.

572
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 4: It restored a part of me that felt like I

573
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,800
Speaker 4: had lost his trust, you know, not just through my pregnancy,

574
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,159
Speaker 4: but after I got pregnant. I was just kind of like,

575
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 4: I'm just prepare for disappointment out of me, Like I'm

576
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 4: not going to do any of the things you want

577
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:37,720
Speaker 4: me to do. I waitress at the strip club, I

578
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 4: dropped out of college. They bought me a car when

579
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,879
Speaker 4: I was sixteen. I was like, you know what, I

580
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 4: don't want the car because I don't want you thinking

581
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:45,479
Speaker 4: you will live to tell me what to do, like

582
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 4: I'm my own person. I gave the car back, I

583
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 4: went to a car lot, got my own car. Like

584
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,160
Speaker 4: I was constantly like, I don't want the expectations.

585
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 3: I'm going to make it on my own.

586
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 4: And I did, Like I mean, I got this incredible

587
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,679
Speaker 4: job and I was looking for an Air Force contractor,

588
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,720
Speaker 4: then became a receptionist and office manager government clearance like

589
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 4: I was making my own path.

590
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,000
Speaker 3: Wow, And I think I.

591
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 4: Began to prove to him that I had the work

592
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 4: ethic to take care of myself. And he was like,

593
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,920
Speaker 4: all right, you know, I didn't agree with the path

594
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 4: you took, but I see that you're making head away.

595
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,159
Speaker 4: But I don't know that I ever felt like the

596
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:24,119
Speaker 4: trust was fully restored from those moments. Wo, until that

597
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 4: moment until then?

598
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 1: Wow? So how old were you then, like when my

599
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 1: time had passed, So you feel like this has been

600
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 1: restored in this moment.

601
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:34,919
Speaker 4: I think I will say that I felt like he

602
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 4: respected me, I felt like he loved me. I felt

603
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 4: like there had been forgiveness. But my dad's life, he

604
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 4: has poured his life into his work and he's very

605
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:51,639
Speaker 4: protective about his work. So that level of trust. Man,

606
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,920
Speaker 4: I mean twenty years. Wow, yeah, twenty years.

607
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 1: So now you are carrying this towards you're at you're

608
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 1: an assistant pastor at in Dallas. What does that weight

609
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,160
Speaker 1: feel like and how you carry that every week? Because

610
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 1: I'm sure like those are some big shoes to step in. Two.

611
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,640
Speaker 4: I do not see it that way. I don't see

612
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 4: it that way. I think if I saw it that way,

613
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:19,920
Speaker 4: it would scare me. Yeah, I don't see it that way,

614
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 4: only because I never asked for this. So when we

615
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 4: were in Brooklyn, We're standing in this beautiful theater, and

616
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 4: I'm like, there's sometimes I don't always feel I guess

617
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:33,679
Speaker 4: deserving of the influence and the impact, because there are

618
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 4: some people who are like I always knew one day

619
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 4: that I would be standing in a room like this.

620
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,879
Speaker 4: I always knew one day that I would inspire millions

621
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 4: of people. I never felt that way. I never wanted this.

622
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,159
Speaker 4: I want to be a good steward over it. I

623
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 4: love it, I respect it, I honor it, but I

624
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:56,119
Speaker 4: never wanted it. And I'm careful to try and manipulate

625
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,359
Speaker 4: something that God placed in my lap. I feel like

626
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:04,119
Speaker 4: my response ability is to protect it, not manipulated, and

627
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,639
Speaker 4: so even with that's being positioned in Dallas as assistant pastors,

628
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 4: I feel like my job is to stay pure, to

629
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 4: stay authentic, to stay obedient, but not to then think

630
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 4: that this is something that is mine when it's something

631
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:19,160
Speaker 4: that God's given me.

632
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 3: So it's interesting.

633
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:23,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're saying that you didn't feel deserving, and in

634
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 1: your book you dedicated it to anyone who wonders if.

635
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 2: There are enough, so hear.

636
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 1: I understand that now because I know there's still today

637
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 1: there's moments where I'm like, I don't know if I'm

638
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 1: made for this or I don't know if I deserve that,

639
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 1: you know, and even the life that I live, because

640
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 1: I've made mistakes. You know, We've all made them, and

641
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 1: a lot of them we carry it harder than God does.

642
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 1: Lots of him forgive us for it, and I'm still

643
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: carrying this all my back, like, oh Lord, please give

644
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 1: I'm saying, like just praying that I've been forgiven for

645
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: certain things, and then to look around like I am

646
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 1: so undeserving, you know, and then trying to get out

647
00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 1: of that saying no, I'm a child of God. This

648
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 1: is what he wants from me, you know, at what

649
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 1: point did you or have you gotten to the point

650
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 1: where you feel like I am enough, I do deserve this,

651
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 1: or do you still walk in there like I know

652
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 1: you said, they'll You're like, dang.

653
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 3: I don't know that.

654
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 4: I feel like influence it's something.

655
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 3: That like I deserve.

656
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 4: I want to say this right because I know what

657
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 4: I feel in my heart. It's something that I honor.

658
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 4: But I see God loving on me, not from the

659
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 4: fact that I have influence or that my life means a.

660
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 3: Lot to a lot of people. I see God loving

661
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 3: on me in the way that love.

662
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 4: Comes through the people who are closest to me, and

663
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 4: that I have been able to accept. I will say

664
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 4: that one of the things I'm like trying to work

665
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 4: through Sometimes when I'm on the road, people are like,

666
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:07,400
Speaker 4: oh my gosh, I love you so much and your

667
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 4: messages have helped me.

668
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 3: They touched me.

669
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 4: And one of the things I'm working through is like

670
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 4: that doesn't feel safe to me because I think that

671
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 4: I think it's a lot of it's rooted in what

672
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 4: I've gone through, but the idea that someone can love you,

673
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 4: but you could disappoint them and then you could be

674
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 4: the girl that nobody wants to be around anymore.

675
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 3: Makes me feel.

676
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 4: Unsafe with that level of love, and so I think

677
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 4: that I keep a healthy distance with the influence part

678
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 4: of it. And you know that could be healthier or

679
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 4: not healthy.

680
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 3: We'll see. I'll talk to my therapists about it.

681
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 4: But it's hard to feel safe and influence. So the

682
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 4: influence part I just try to honor and protect. But

683
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 4: my family, that's where I feel God's loved them most.

684
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 2: Absolutely.

685
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, it's so crazy to say that because

686
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:55,719
Speaker 1: as my I don't like tell im fans, but my

687
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,160
Speaker 1: community grows so many people.

688
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 2: Kind of stand over me like that.

689
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 1: Oh my God, Cursal Criss, Cristol and that level of love.

690
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 1: You're my best friend in my head. You're my sister

691
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 1: in my head. I love you so much. I wake

692
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,800
Speaker 1: up and watch your videos every day. You kept me alive.

693
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,959
Speaker 1: I didn't kill myself because of you. That's a different.

694
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 1: It's scary, Yeah, it really is. And like you said,

695
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 1: one day, you can love me and if I do

696
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 1: make one mistake, your cancel.

697
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 3: Culture is real and we see it happen all the time.

698
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 3: I want to believe.

699
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 4: Like so, I call the community that's connected with woman

700
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 4: involved the delegation.

701
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 3: And part of why.

702
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 4: I've been really intentional about like being authentic and like

703
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 4: here I am, I'm on a journey just like the

704
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 4: rest of you, is that, like I know I may

705
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 4: disappoint you at some point, I'm not intentionally going to

706
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 4: disappoint you, Like I'm not out here living one thing

707
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 4: and saying a different thing. Like I am a woman

708
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 4: of integrity and I'm living the very thing that I

709
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 4: say to you. Even then, I know that we may

710
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 4: not agree about some things, and I want to believe that,

711
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 4: like we can work through and grow through anything.

712
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 3: But I don't know, like.

713
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 2: Because people are like they're so quick to cut you.

714
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So I understand when you say, like your family,

715
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 1: those are close to yous where you feel the safest

716
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 1: and the most loved. It's the same way with me,

717
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 1: because I know these are people that's gonna ride with me.

718
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 1: If I fall down, They're gonna help me get back up.

719
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: She's gonna like walk over me and be like all right, girl,

720
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 1: we're done with you.

721
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 4: And I want to believe though, and sometimes I remind

722
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 4: myself of this because even the people who have been

723
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 4: canceled haven't been canceled like there are still some people

724
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 4: who really rock with them or like, you know, I

725
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 4: love them, and so I also don't want to make

726
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 4: the people who would be willing to grow with me

727
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 4: feel like I don't trust them either, because there are

728
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 4: some people. I mean, you know, I've seen a lot

729
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 4: of people who look like, oh my gosh, this is

730
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 4: their downfather. They're never going to recover from this, but

731
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 4: there was a space creative for them. So I don't know,

732
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 4: we'll see what happened.

733
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 2: That's so true.

734
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 1: You talked about you're gonna talk to your therapist about it.

735
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 1: A lot of people don't want to mix Jesus with therapy.

736
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 1: When did you realize that God did create other tools

737
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,600
Speaker 1: of resources that you could talk to someone and still

738
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 1: believe that your source is Jesus Christ.

739
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 4: My relationship with God has become much more deeper as

740
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 4: a result of me being in therapy, because there were

741
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 4: moments where I felt something that I could not give language,

742
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 4: so my prayer was not as effective, you know, just

743
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 4: kind of like God helped me, God help me, God

744
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 4: help me. But to be able to say, like God,

745
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 4: I am feeling anxious about this transition that's taking place,

746
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 4: in my life, and I need your spirit to meet

747
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 4: me in a place in my anxiety. Like my prayer,

748
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 4: life became so much better. It was probably honestly, after

749
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 4: I dropped my book Woman Evolved and hit the New

750
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 4: York Times bestsellers list, and one of my friends came

751
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 4: up and she's.

752
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 3: Like, oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, And I was like,

753
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 3: you know what I mean.

754
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:48,160
Speaker 4: It's as I feel like I should probably be happy

755
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 4: about this, but I don't feel anything at all. And

756
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 4: so I started like reading some books. And then once

757
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 4: I went through a few books, I'm like, you probably

758
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,520
Speaker 4: should talk to someone. But what I learned is that

759
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 4: like I have just been like emotionally frozen because I

760
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 4: was overwhelmed by shame and regret and depression. That I

761
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 4: can function and work and hit markers and hit goals,

762
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 4: but I can't celebrate myself. I don't know joy, I

763
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 4: don't even know anger. Like people can disappoint me, I

764
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 4: don't let it get to me because I won't own

765
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:19,800
Speaker 4: or advocate for what I'm feeling in any given moment.

766
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 4: And so I feel like I've become a much better partner,

767
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:27,439
Speaker 4: a much better leader, and a much better believer. As

768
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 4: a result of me going to therapy.

769
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, same did. My therapist definitely opened me up. My

770
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:35,240
Speaker 1: therapist and I just talked about what I just learned

771
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 1: was the mother wound. And you did an episode with

772
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 1: your mom entitled Trauma to Hope. You also read the book,

773
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 1: which is a book that Denor int introduced me to

774
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:50,920
Speaker 1: adult children of emotionally immature parents. What was that like

775
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 1: opening up to your mom, like in her actually apologizing

776
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 1: for not being there the way that you needed her

777
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:56,759
Speaker 1: to be.

778
00:34:57,160 --> 00:35:00,479
Speaker 4: It was interesting because we've never had the conversation before.

779
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 4: I just came to a place where I was like,

780
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 4: I'm gonna do this work on my own. I'm not

781
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,319
Speaker 4: gonna invite either of my parents to be a part

782
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,280
Speaker 4: of this journey because I don't know where they are

783
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 4: and I don't I don't know that they're going to

784
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:13,360
Speaker 4: be receptive to this, So I'm gonna just figure it

785
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 4: out on my own. And I think I was actually

786
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 4: doing I was at that stage when we had this conversation,

787
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 4: and out of nowhere, she started it. Out of nowhere,

788
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 4: she said something like, I think I was talking about

789
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 4: being nervous about moving back to Dallas because I didn't

790
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,399
Speaker 4: want to you know, I wanted to keep my family close,

791
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 4: and she was like, please do that.

792
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 3: I didn't do that with you all.

793
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 1: I was like just oof the accountability and saying it.

794
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:39,719
Speaker 4: She just said it, like she just said it. I

795
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 4: was like, I didn't I didn't know that you knew that.

796
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 4: Like wow, I felt that I didn't know that you

797
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 4: knew that. And that was I think I instantly turned

798
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:53,160
Speaker 4: into a seven eight year old girl.

799
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, what did that do for seven

800
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:56,320
Speaker 1: eight year old sister? I was going to ask you

801
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,800
Speaker 1: that in that moment, I know she spoke to that child.

802
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:03,279
Speaker 4: Mommy sees me like it was like being at the

803
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:08,240
Speaker 4: Potter's House Dallas with surrounded by thousands of people and

804
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 4: my mom grabbing my hand and saying, I see you wow,

805
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:16,560
Speaker 4: and you're not by yourself. That's like, it doesn't matter

806
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:21,759
Speaker 4: how difficult your relationship with your child has been, even

807
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,760
Speaker 4: if they're an adult. Oftentimes we think it's too late,

808
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 4: but that wound is still there, and as long as

809
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 4: you're still here, you have an opportunity to speak into

810
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 4: that wound.

811
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 3: And it really does restore, it really does heal.

812
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 4: I think sometimes it can be discouraging for a parent

813
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 4: when it's like, Okay, I can see some areas where

814
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 4: I messed up, but there's nothing I can do about it.

815
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 3: Now, that's not true.

816
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 4: By acknowledging it, you can do something with what's left.

817
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 4: You can do something with where they're still growing and healing.

818
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,120
Speaker 4: And my mom did that for me in a way

819
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 4: I didn't anticipate.

820
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 1: That is beautiful.

821
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,239
Speaker 3: I was. I was the first of all.

822
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 4: We were supposed to just be having like a little

823
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 4: cute Christmas or cute Christmas chat and all of us.

824
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:01,799
Speaker 3: I didn't do that with you.

825
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 4: And because it was so raw for me, I just

826
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:06,360
Speaker 4: immediately broke down in tears.

827
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 1: Wow.

828
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 3: And then she said something.

829
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 4: She was like, anything I can clear up talk about

830
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 4: ask like you tell me now She's like, cause my

831
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 4: mom's not here and I'll never get answers. And so

832
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 4: now I have this woman who's in her sixties and

833
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 4: I still have questions that I'll never get an answer to.

834
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 4: So as long as I can be your answer, I'll

835
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 4: share it.

836
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is beautiful, gess.

837
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:30,880
Speaker 4: My mom is so I mean, everyone's like, you know

838
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 4: your TJ's daughter, and I am about my mother.

839
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, talk about it.

840
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 3: She is the absolute best.

841
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 4: She is so sensitive but also resilient and strong and

842
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 4: hilarious and loyal and like, she's just the absolute best.

843
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,279
Speaker 4: I can remember I was going through it. I was

844
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:55,799
Speaker 4: in college and I was going to football games in

845
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 4: college and they were having like family that at one

846
00:37:58,280 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 4: of the football games.

847
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 3: But there was this girl. This girl HA gotten into.

848
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 4: And I said, I was like sending my mom a

849
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 4: screenshot of and we were just talking about it offline.

850
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:09,919
Speaker 4: And then so my parents are at the football game

851
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 4: and I saw the girl coming, but I was like,

852
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 4: you know, I'm not gonna look at her.

853
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 3: She's not gonna look at me. My mom stands up.

854
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,120
Speaker 3: I was like, girls, sit down, girls, sit down. What

855
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,359
Speaker 3: are you doing? How did you even remember? That was

856
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 3: her sit down? She was like what are we doing?

857
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:33,720
Speaker 4: I was like, please sit down, She's.

858
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 2: I love.

859
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 4: I was trying to calm her down. I'm like, you're

860
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 4: sixty something. They think you're a queen. Put your crown on.

861
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:44,240
Speaker 3: For sure. She take that crown off in a minute.

862
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 4: She has told some stories, even like on my podcast

863
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 4: at event about like beings doing things. I'm just like,

864
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:53,839
Speaker 4: can you please stop telling people about you stealing? She's

865
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:55,839
Speaker 4: probably like when you stop telling them you waitress at

866
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 4: the street club.

867
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,879
Speaker 3: Okay, I was like, she wait just at their club.

868
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's crazy.

869
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:08,279
Speaker 3: I was out here. I was.

870
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:11,600
Speaker 1: I just told a ship club story the other day

871
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 1: when we used to go out to the club of

872
00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:14,800
Speaker 1: these guys and maybe give us all these ones.

873
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 3: Yeah.

874
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 1: I had hands too, so I'd be throwing.

875
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:20,680
Speaker 3: Right.

876
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 2: That's the cable.

877
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 3: Were prepared to spend it anyway exactly. I'm like, I'm

878
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:30,359
Speaker 3: here to let me get a lit.

879
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take care of the girls too, but I

880
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,759
Speaker 2: need to get my cut. That is hilarious. Your mom

881
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 2: that I love that.

882
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 1: She's amazing And that's inspiring even for me as I

883
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:45,399
Speaker 1: did an episode called get to Know Me and where

884
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:48,360
Speaker 1: I just put it all out there and just just

885
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 1: with family and friends. It's what your stories inspire me.

886
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,800
Speaker 1: Just open up and even maybe me be the person

887
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 1: to bring up the conversation how your mom just said it,

888
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 1: you know, So that's inspiring for me as well.

889
00:39:58,760 --> 00:39:59,239
Speaker 2: That's good.

890
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 4: That's I have people are more willing to have. Like

891
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 4: we talk about family sweeping stuff underneath the rug, like

892
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:08,239
Speaker 4: this is the way that we do things. But I

893
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 4: have found that the person who doesn't mind like going

894
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 4: under the rug and be like, hey, can we talk

895
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,439
Speaker 4: about this? Like they don't mind talking about it. It's

896
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 4: just we have been so conditioned to think that we

897
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 4: don't talk about it, that no one's courageous enough to say, hey,

898
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 4: I have some questions, like I want to know about

899
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 4: this person. I want to know what is in them

900
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 4: that could be in me too. Yes, And I have

901
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 4: found that, especially for people as they're aging and I

902
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:33,960
Speaker 4: think they're wanting to leave a legacy, they're wanting to

903
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:37,359
Speaker 4: leave an imprint, that they're more willing to have conversations

904
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 4: than we may give them credit for.

905
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 1: Oh, I love that you just bless me. You talked

906
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,000
Speaker 1: about how your mother said that I wish I could

907
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:49,359
Speaker 1: have been there more. With your busy schedule and how

908
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 1: you're you're all over the place, how do you the

909
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,319
Speaker 1: God talks about the Sabbath, do you take time or

910
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,880
Speaker 1: do you take time to like, actually, this is my day?

911
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 4: No, because well, like technically sure, like there may be

912
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 4: days where I'm not working, but because I have children,

913
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 4: even the days when I'm not working, there is an

914
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 4: element of working. So I have to be intentional about

915
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:15,759
Speaker 4: taking time off. So I think tour ends for me

916
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:20,880
Speaker 4: on a Tuesday, and I'm going home. But I was like,

917
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:22,879
Speaker 4: I'm gonna ask the older kids to take the younger

918
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,319
Speaker 4: kids to school, because if tour ends on Tuesday and

919
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 4: I got to be up at six on Wednesday to

920
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:29,839
Speaker 4: take kids to school, it's like, yeah, tour is over,

921
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:34,959
Speaker 4: but like I just got re enlisted. It's a whole

922
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:38,359
Speaker 4: nother battlefield right here real and so I've had to

923
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 4: ask for help to piece my sabbathe together. I used

924
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 4: to just wait for a day when I'd be able

925
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:45,840
Speaker 4: to take it off, but now I've had to be

926
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 4: proactive and asking for help in advance. And let me

927
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:53,720
Speaker 4: tell you, doing that it changed my relationship. It changed

928
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 4: the way that I show up in my world. Instead

929
00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 4: of being the person who allowed people to believe that

930
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,800
Speaker 4: I have limitless capacity, that I could get off on

931
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:06,280
Speaker 4: tour and jump into the mom thing and not skip

932
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,279
Speaker 4: a beat, I had to be willing to say I

933
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 4: actually do need to skip a beat because I can't

934
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 4: dance this fast. And I think what part of the

935
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:15,360
Speaker 4: issue with being like the strong friend or the person

936
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 4: who just has so much capacity is there is a

937
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 4: little pride, a little ego stroking that comes when somebody's like,

938
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:22,799
Speaker 4: I can never do that.

939
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 3: Did you be like, but I did? You know what

940
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:27,839
Speaker 3: I mean?

941
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 4: Now I'm probably depressed and I'm crossing binge eating and

942
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 4: I can't sit my clothes. But and so I've had

943
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 4: to learn to not seek out the accolades that come

944
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 4: with over exertion.

945
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 1: Yes, o, because we live in this society where it's

946
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:46,399
Speaker 1: like you sleep when you did.

947
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:48,080
Speaker 2: No, I'm asleep after this.

948
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 3: I don't believe that. I don't believe he wants that

949
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 3: from me.

950
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 1: No, I'm a napper.

951
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:53,879
Speaker 2: I have to have I got at.

952
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:57,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I'm learning to really ask for additional support

953
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 4: and not allow my ego to be fed by this

954
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 4: relentless you gotta keep going things.

955
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,960
Speaker 1: So true, I have to do that. I'm not good

956
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 1: at asking for help because I've always had to do

957
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:12,000
Speaker 1: everything on my own and then finding good help, you know,

958
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 1: like I have like one or two people I can

959
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 1: call on and depend on, and then everybody else I'll hire.

960
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 3: It's like, well you know.

961
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 4: They're okay, So all right, So this is I don't

962
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:21,879
Speaker 4: even know if it's gonna make the podcast at this point.

963
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:22,799
Speaker 3: This is so good one.

964
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 4: My message tonight, like God changed my message, and I

965
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:28,400
Speaker 4: think it's going to help you because it's about.

966
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 2: Asking what I was struggling with.

967
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:33,240
Speaker 3: It's so ghetto.

968
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:37,440
Speaker 4: But you know, part of the reason why I feel

969
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:39,880
Speaker 4: like it's like we can't find good help is because

970
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:43,359
Speaker 4: I when I say I want good help, I want someone.

971
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:45,160
Speaker 3: Who's going to like work through the flu.

972
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 2: Like literally, I.

973
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,920
Speaker 4: Want someone who's going to deplete themselves and overexert themselves

974
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 4: just like me.

975
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 2: I need you, Michael Jordan Game six.

976
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:56,040
Speaker 4: All the time because like we're in it and we

977
00:43:56,040 --> 00:44:02,440
Speaker 4: don't have time for sickness, like and that's talk. I

978
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:04,759
Speaker 4: say all of that to say, like I don't want

979
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 4: you to be lazy, Like I want you to push

980
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 4: it a little bit, but like.

981
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:10,720
Speaker 3: Maybe I should stop.

982
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 2: No, I'm the same way, Like what do you mean

983
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 2: you have a headache? What do you mean you're sick?

984
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 3: Like you can't come to work because you have a headache?

985
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 2: But did you die?

986
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 4: Are you you breathing that.

987
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:30,400
Speaker 3: I had a baby at fourteen, no headache?

988
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 2: And that's that's weird.

989
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 4: That's my trauma setting standards for people, and so you know,

990
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 4: I need to give people a tailand all.

991
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:40,840
Speaker 3: But I will say that people I work.

992
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 4: The best with are people who are like, yeah, we

993
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:45,879
Speaker 4: are a team of ten people, but if all ten

994
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:47,399
Speaker 4: of them fall off, me and you could do all

995
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:49,239
Speaker 4: of it right, and it's not true.

996
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 3: But they make me feel good.

997
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 4: It's like I like you, right, I like I like you.

998
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 3: You sick me. We got the same disease.

999
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 1: Literally, you say that in One of your toxic traits

1000
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 1: is believing that you can do any anything. Literally, somebody

1001
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:07,800
Speaker 1: asked me that, I'm like, I can do anything.

1002
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 4: I could no, Like, I'm not even joking and like

1003
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:11,800
Speaker 4: this is not even a brad.

1004
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 3: I can do anything.

1005
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:17,880
Speaker 4: Like if God, if God can, if someone else can

1006
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:18,919
Speaker 4: do what I can do it.

1007
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:23,439
Speaker 1: I think the same way, Sarah, I'm serious like anything now.

1008
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 4: I did also say in that same paragraph that, like

1009
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 4: I could build a house, it's gonna rain inside the house.

1010
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 4: Like I'm not saying I can do anything every that

1011
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,279
Speaker 4: I can do everything well right exactly, but if you

1012
00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:38,719
Speaker 4: give me a few shots at it, I could get

1013
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 4: to well yeah, yeah exactly.

1014
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:41,600
Speaker 2: I'm the same way.

1015
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 1: I just had my live show and I taught myself

1016
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 1: how to play a piano.

1017
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 3: Period, Like I was like, I'm just.

1018
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 1: Gonna go buy a piano on YouTube and learn this.

1019
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:51,400
Speaker 4: I don't see anything wrong with it. He is like,

1020
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 4: I don't know if it's my Like, I don't know

1021
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:58,839
Speaker 4: if it's my husband's favorite thing about me. I don't

1022
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 4: know if thinking about me, because I'll be.

1023
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 3: Like a babe.

1024
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 4: Like the handyman can't come and the dresser just got

1025
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:07,960
Speaker 4: delivered and he was like, okay, just schedule for next week.

1026
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:09,439
Speaker 4: I was like, I just got the tool.

1027
00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 2: Can how he gets home?

1028
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:12,239
Speaker 4: It's the dresser is going to be put to Yes,

1029
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:18,320
Speaker 4: now the drawers going to need a little.

1030
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 3: And that is sick. That cannot be healthy. I know

1031
00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:25,200
Speaker 3: it can't.

1032
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 2: He's like, why didn't you just love me?

1033
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 3: I have not learned my lesson.

1034
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,319
Speaker 4: Like if you put my back against the wall right now,

1035
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:34,279
Speaker 4: if the plane is going down, I can fly it.

1036
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 2: We're gonna put the fool.

1037
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 3: But I don't believe God put me in this situation.

1038
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 3: Go out like this. I watched flight with Denzel Washington.

1039
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 3: He did it high. I can do it with the

1040
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:45,879
Speaker 3: Holy Amen.

1041
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 2: Come on now, period.

1042
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:50,480
Speaker 3: You are my kind of girl.

1043
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 1: I'm telling you. I call myself a handy woman. My

1044
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:55,399
Speaker 1: dad built every house he ever lived in. I grew

1045
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:59,520
Speaker 1: up on construction sites. I have a toolbox. Most I

1046
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 1: have more than with me and having their house at

1047
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:03,359
Speaker 1: my age for sure, like you got I got that,

1048
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:03,840
Speaker 1: I can do it.

1049
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:05,239
Speaker 2: They're like you fix it your someone like.

1050
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 3: Yeah that was when.

1051
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:07,839
Speaker 4: So when I got married, I was a single mother

1052
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 4: with two children. I have my own house. So there

1053
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 4: were just certain things that like I was not used

1054
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 4: to asking like a man in the house to do

1055
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:16,840
Speaker 4: and my husband be like, why didn't you ask me

1056
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:18,719
Speaker 4: to do that. I was like, I will ask when

1057
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:20,799
Speaker 4: I need, but I didn't think I needed. So now

1058
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 4: I'm trying to be more. I'm like, I'm entering into

1059
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 4: where of my princess era, you know where I'm asking

1060
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:26,480
Speaker 4: for help.

1061
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 3: We were traveling somewhere. We got home.

1062
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,520
Speaker 4: There's this big box that got delivered on a crate.

1063
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:33,720
Speaker 4: Staple shut, screwed shut, and I like got the hammer

1064
00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:34,479
Speaker 4: and he was like, what.

1065
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 3: Are you doing? What are you You just got off

1066
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:37,960
Speaker 3: the plane.

1067
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:40,479
Speaker 1: I was like, I want to see what's in the Yes,

1068
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:42,720
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, we're the same person.

1069
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 2: That's me. I would like straighten my back trying to.

1070
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 3: Get it's fine.

1071
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 2: I would go to Craigan barrel outlet and get a whole.

1072
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 4: Chair, like because the other thing, I will lift the

1073
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 4: whole chair by I want to. I want things to

1074
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 4: be the way that I want them to be. Yes,

1075
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:57,719
Speaker 4: And I don't want to wait it.

1076
00:47:57,640 --> 00:47:59,439
Speaker 1: Now, instant gratification. I need it now.

1077
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 3: I mean it. I'm saying that.

1078
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 1: I guess it is my trade.

1079
00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 3: It's toxic.

1080
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:10,200
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, because when I say back sprung, when

1081
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:13,040
Speaker 4: I say back out, and you would think that it

1082
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 4: would keep you from doing it. But as soon as

1083
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,439
Speaker 4: that back act like she's gonna be alright, we're back

1084
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 4: at it. It can't be healthy. I know it can't.

1085
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:21,319
Speaker 2: It is not.

1086
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 3: I'm a work in progress me.

1087
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 2: Too, girl. We're gonna work on maybe maybe because it's

1088
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 2: been for years doing that. So that's a hard habit

1089
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:32,800
Speaker 2: to break. It is, and I don't know. It's something

1090
00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:35,319
Speaker 2: that just it feels good.

1091
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 3: Fulfiling, fulfilming is.

1092
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 4: I do think that so much of my life is

1093
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:43,360
Speaker 4: out of my control that like to be able to

1094
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 4: do what's in my control that feels.

1095
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:46,640
Speaker 3: Good to me.

1096
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 4: I like that, Like there's so much that I'm not

1097
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:51,360
Speaker 4: gonna get, Like so much of this is going faster

1098
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 4: than I can keep up with. I don't know what's

1099
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 4: gonna happen. I'm so vulnerable, I'm so exposed to The least

1100
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:58,839
Speaker 4: I can do is pick this chair up.

1101
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:01,800
Speaker 3: And put it in the corner where.

1102
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 2: Yes, that's the.

1103
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 3: Least I can do.

1104
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:04,799
Speaker 2: That's real.

1105
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 3: I love it.

1106
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:08,920
Speaker 2: I love that for you and us. Oh my goodness.

1107
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 1: So I'll be remiss if I didn't talk about your husband,

1108
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:17,279
Speaker 1: the pastor Trade Roberts. You are a powerhouse and he

1109
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:20,279
Speaker 1: is a powerhouse as well. So how do two powerhouses

1110
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:24,319
Speaker 1: come together and also keep your individualism and support each other?

1111
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:25,320
Speaker 2: How does that work?

1112
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:27,840
Speaker 3: We have a lot of respect for one another.

1113
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:28,719
Speaker 2: I'll see that.

1114
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:30,879
Speaker 4: We have a lot of respect for one another. It's

1115
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:34,600
Speaker 4: not a competition. I am fascinated by the gift of

1116
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 4: God in his life in a way that I can't

1117
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 4: even be jealous of. Like, he's so dope to me

1118
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:42,279
Speaker 4: that I'm like, I can't even be jealous. I think

1119
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:43,880
Speaker 4: he can be jealous of something that you think is

1120
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:47,840
Speaker 4: within reach. It's so out of reach to me. I

1121
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 4: don't even know how you think like that. I don't

1122
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 4: know how you do what you do the way that

1123
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:54,960
Speaker 4: you do. So all I can do is respect it

1124
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,200
Speaker 4: and love it and be grateful that I'm on your

1125
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,800
Speaker 4: squad because I would hate to be your opposition period.

1126
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,640
Speaker 3: Do you understand.

1127
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 4: But it took, like I said, like that part about me.

1128
00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 4: I was a single mother. I'd accomplished enough by myself

1129
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,360
Speaker 4: to make me feel like I could live on my own,

1130
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:16,920
Speaker 4: and so welcoming in his perspective and his covering and

1131
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:21,040
Speaker 4: seeing the value in it without being intimidated by it. Yes,

1132
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 4: was hard for me in the beginning stages of our

1133
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 4: life because I thought that his perspective made mine invalid,

1134
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:30,760
Speaker 4: not broader.

1135
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:36,879
Speaker 1: Oh that's good, Oh my goodness, I can imagine that. Yeah, yeah,

1136
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 1: I remember. It was twenty twenty when I first like

1137
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 1: really caught onto one church La and I would watch

1138
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:44,359
Speaker 1: you guys online, and then every time I would visit

1139
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 1: a lot Ange, I would come to church and I

1140
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,680
Speaker 1: remember you said, if you're facing the pool pit, you

1141
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 1: would sit on the left side in the front, and

1142
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:52,920
Speaker 1: I remember that, and I just remember just seeing like

1143
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 1: just kept growing and growing and growing, and then before

1144
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:57,360
Speaker 1: I know, you guys are in Denver and then Dallas.

1145
00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:59,759
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my goodness, but just the way

1146
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 1: he livers the message, and then you come up and

1147
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:05,279
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait a minute, these two both are doing it.

1148
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:07,480
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, and everybody gets it. You know,

1149
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:09,680
Speaker 1: sometimes people preach over your head. You guys are reaching

1150
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 1: people at the level that they are in a way

1151
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:15,800
Speaker 1: that we can understand that we see ourselves and it

1152
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:17,480
Speaker 1: inspires us to just be better people.

1153
00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, that means a lot to me. I wasn't in ministry.

1154
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:25,319
Speaker 4: I wasn't in ministry when I met him. I was blogging,

1155
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:28,240
Speaker 4: I was telling my little stories, but I wasn't preaching.

1156
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:30,800
Speaker 4: I wasn't praying out loud. So I was like, invite

1157
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 4: me to be on a panel. I'll offer some insights

1158
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:39,120
Speaker 4: as a collective. So you know that Solodolo thing is

1159
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 4: not me. And his church was the first church where

1160
00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 4: he was like, listen, if there's any place where you

1161
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 4: could come and tell your story at a church, like

1162
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:48,440
Speaker 4: it will be my church.

1163
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:49,640
Speaker 3: Like you'll be fine.

1164
00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 1: Wow.

1165
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:51,920
Speaker 4: And so he asked me to come speak on a

1166
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:53,760
Speaker 4: Sunday in twenty fourteen.

1167
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I don't do Sundays. Come in on.

1168
00:51:57,120 --> 00:52:02,319
Speaker 4: Wednesday, baby, Friday night, Friday, girls night, but Sundays that's

1169
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:05,840
Speaker 4: like where the real people are. And so one was

1170
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 4: very much of the place where I feel like I

1171
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:11,440
Speaker 4: found my unique voice in ministry, and I just felt like, Okay,

1172
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 4: well one will just be the place where I do

1173
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:16,880
Speaker 4: ministry because they get me, they understand me. And so

1174
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:21,200
Speaker 4: I attribute a lot of my spiritual development to his

1175
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:24,759
Speaker 4: anointing and my voice being cultivated in the spaces that

1176
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:28,400
Speaker 4: he created. And then as I became more confident, I

1177
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:31,560
Speaker 4: think as the gift began to grow and attract other

1178
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 4: people and other spaces that He's been a covering for me.

1179
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 3: And it's just like, just do you everywhere you go?

1180
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:38,200
Speaker 2: Oh?

1181
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:41,799
Speaker 1: That's good, and that's what that's important to have that

1182
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 1: type of support as a woman, just in every woman

1183
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:45,960
Speaker 1: needs that just type of support.

1184
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:47,319
Speaker 2: Was like, baby, do you.

1185
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:47,919
Speaker 3: Everywhere you go?

1186
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:48,640
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1187
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:50,239
Speaker 4: And it's funny, so like most of the time when

1188
00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:53,320
Speaker 4: we're in LA, people are like, oh, you're a pet's wife,

1189
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:55,560
Speaker 4: and then if it goes somewhere, they're like, oh, you're

1190
00:52:55,719 --> 00:52:58,160
Speaker 4: S Jr's husband. That's like depending on where we are,

1191
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 4: because like when I tell you, he is Hollywood like

1192
00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:07,400
Speaker 4: on absolute lot, like New York, Atlanta, Like we do

1193
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:09,200
Speaker 4: not go anywhere without people being.

1194
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:11,400
Speaker 2: Like PTT when he.

1195
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:16,160
Speaker 3: So like for me, it's cool.

1196
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:18,440
Speaker 4: Because I get to see my husband in his lane

1197
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 4: and his purpose with his unique identity. I'm in my

1198
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:24,319
Speaker 4: lane and my purpose with my unique identity, and then

1199
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 4: when we get to come together, it's amazing. But what's

1200
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 4: better than all of that is like when we're doing

1201
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:31,879
Speaker 4: none of those things and we're at home. I took

1202
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:34,960
Speaker 4: my wig off the other day. I was sorry I

1203
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:35,719
Speaker 4: took my wig off.

1204
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:36,279
Speaker 3: I was at home.

1205
00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:38,319
Speaker 4: I was scratching my hand and the bathroom it was

1206
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 4: plates coming out of my grab your dignity. And I

1207
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:50,319
Speaker 4: was dying laughing because he was so right, because I

1208
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:53,400
Speaker 4: had just basically turned into I went from this to

1209
00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:54,680
Speaker 4: like somebody else.

1210
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 3: And we were cracking up laughing.

1211
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:59,640
Speaker 4: Because as valuable as those other things are that changed

1212
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:02,239
Speaker 4: the world and touch people, what means the most to

1213
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:04,920
Speaker 4: us are those moments where we're like clowning on each

1214
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:05,719
Speaker 4: other and.

1215
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:09,080
Speaker 1: It can be my friend, Oh love, that's beautiful. The

1216
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:10,560
Speaker 1: best part of the day of taking the wig off.

1217
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 4: It is the best part of a little bit to it.

1218
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,759
Speaker 3: It's time for me to take these breaks out.

1219
00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:24,280
Speaker 2: It's that is hilarious.

1220
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 1: I love that though.

1221
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:27,719
Speaker 2: I love that for both of you. That is beautiful.

1222
00:54:28,239 --> 00:54:28,760
Speaker 3: It's funny.

1223
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:31,880
Speaker 4: My fourteen year old daughter like she he's been in

1224
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:34,200
Speaker 4: her life basically all of her life at this point,

1225
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:36,799
Speaker 4: and so at night time, she's like her favorite part

1226
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:38,600
Speaker 4: of the day of seeing us, Like he had I

1227
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:40,759
Speaker 4: had usually have tea at night. He usually has like

1228
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:43,719
Speaker 4: peanuts and raisins in his neck, and we're like gossipping

1229
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,719
Speaker 4: about the other kids, like, well you know that one,

1230
00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:54,640
Speaker 4: and Kenzy's like, will truth be told? But what you say?

1231
00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:55,400
Speaker 2: Please tell me?

1232
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 4: People sit up in the room with us talking about

1233
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:00,879
Speaker 4: her siblings, like you really too much?

1234
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I love I just love your whole

1235
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:03,920
Speaker 1: family dynamic.

1236
00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:04,799
Speaker 2: It's just beautiful.

1237
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:09,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm really grateful for it. It feels very restorative

1238
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:14,160
Speaker 4: to create an environment for my family that I think

1239
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:19,320
Speaker 4: would have been really great for me, but to experience

1240
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:20,520
Speaker 4: it through them and to be a.

1241
00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:22,160
Speaker 3: Part of it, it's the.

1242
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:25,080
Speaker 4: Only thing that matters to So even when you're like

1243
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:27,120
Speaker 4: you're always on the go, how do you balance it?

1244
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:29,440
Speaker 4: I'm really not always on the go. I say no

1245
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:32,160
Speaker 4: to a lot of stuff, so that when I say

1246
00:55:32,239 --> 00:55:35,080
Speaker 4: yes to stuff like this where I'm gone for seven days,

1247
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:38,240
Speaker 4: back for two days, then gone again, that I haven't

1248
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:40,879
Speaker 4: been gone so much that I feel a whole lot

1249
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:43,319
Speaker 4: of guilt about being gone on these trips. I say

1250
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:44,760
Speaker 4: no to wait a lot of stuff.

1251
00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:47,719
Speaker 1: Wow, that's good for you. Yeah, that's my favorite word.

1252
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:49,200
Speaker 3: It's a good word.

1253
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:52,040
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. So by the time

1254
00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 1: this episode airs, you have been finished with your seven

1255
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 1: city book tours.

1256
00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:57,760
Speaker 2: What are some things that Sarah.

1257
00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:01,239
Speaker 1: Is gonna nurture when she is done and gets off

1258
00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:01,680
Speaker 1: the road.

1259
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:09,239
Speaker 4: My edges, I'm gonna get my hair, she said, my edges.

1260
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 4: I'm gonna let these edges breathe. I'm gonna nurture my joy.

1261
00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:23,600
Speaker 4: I am going to nurture I think my reflection because

1262
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:26,479
Speaker 4: this season hasn't allowed for a lot of reflection because

1263
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 4: I'm into one thing into the next. But I want

1264
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 4: to sit back and think about all of the ways

1265
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:37,200
Speaker 4: God showed up for me throughout this tour, throughout this

1266
00:56:37,239 --> 00:56:40,120
Speaker 4: book writing process, throughout the whole because God gave me

1267
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:44,080
Speaker 4: this concept with this book that it made sense to me.

1268
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:45,440
Speaker 4: But I'm like, I don't know if I can put

1269
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 4: it into language, you know, because I think when people

1270
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:50,399
Speaker 4: hear they're title, they're like power moves. You gonna show

1271
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:52,560
Speaker 4: me how to do something and It's really about the

1272
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:56,160
Speaker 4: fluidity of power and how I can be powerful as

1273
00:56:56,200 --> 00:56:59,120
Speaker 4: a speaker and powerful as a mother if I'm in

1274
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:03,160
Speaker 4: the flow of God's power that everything I do is powerful.

1275
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:06,920
Speaker 4: And but I didn't. I kept second guessing whether or

1276
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:09,399
Speaker 4: not I made it make sense and to be able

1277
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:09,759
Speaker 4: to hear.

1278
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:12,600
Speaker 3: I was.

1279
00:57:12,719 --> 00:57:15,640
Speaker 4: I was actually getting had a health scare in December,

1280
00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 4: and I'm like in the hospital, it's fresh out of

1281
00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:20,920
Speaker 4: anesthesia with my manuscript, reading through this book because I'm

1282
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:22,160
Speaker 4: just like, it has to make sense.

1283
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 3: It has to make sense, and for people to say

1284
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:25,400
Speaker 3: that it makes.

1285
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:26,320
Speaker 2: Sense, it does No.

1286
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 1: You should see my iPad because like I literally was

1287
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:32,280
Speaker 1: like it's purple, like it's so many highlights. It's crazy.

1288
00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:33,680
Speaker 3: That means so much to me.

1289
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 4: And then like you know, I've done these interviews and

1290
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 4: I don't like thinking on my speed and I've had

1291
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:42,080
Speaker 4: to speak to people and like God has given me

1292
00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 4: language and words. When I did the Records Club, Jason

1293
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 4: put me in a white button down and I was like,

1294
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:49,080
Speaker 4: I can't wear a white button down because I sweat

1295
00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 4: like a man, like a full I build things like

1296
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:54,880
Speaker 4: a man, I sweat like And I was like, no,

1297
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:57,680
Speaker 4: because I'm gonna be poorn. So I had so much peace.

1298
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:00,640
Speaker 4: I was so grounded, Like I didn't sweat through my

1299
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:03,720
Speaker 4: clothes like little things that are dumb to most people.

1300
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:05,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I am so.

1301
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:07,520
Speaker 4: I just want to sit back and think I've received

1302
00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:10,560
Speaker 4: so much love in these cities. Somebody in Houston told

1303
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:14,080
Speaker 4: me I had made the decision to commit suicide. And

1304
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:16,520
Speaker 4: I came with my eleven year old daughter because I

1305
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:18,960
Speaker 4: wanted that to be one of our last experiences.

1306
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:21,080
Speaker 3: And she was like, I decided to live.

1307
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:23,720
Speaker 4: Something happened in that room where I know I God's

1308
00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:26,280
Speaker 4: got something for me, that there's power in me, more

1309
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:29,400
Speaker 4: power than this depression, and so just like to not

1310
00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:31,040
Speaker 4: just let that be something.

1311
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:32,000
Speaker 3: That goes by.

1312
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:34,920
Speaker 4: And Houston was after the Houston date, I wanted to

1313
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:35,840
Speaker 4: cancel the whole tour.

1314
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:38,240
Speaker 1: Really, Oh yeah, you want to go to Atlanta.

1315
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:41,600
Speaker 3: I was like, Atlanta don't want me to come. I

1316
00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:45,040
Speaker 3: was so was it just like, well, I've toured before.

1317
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:47,800
Speaker 4: I usually have a worship team, doctor Nita Phillips comes

1318
00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:50,080
Speaker 4: on the road with me sometimes, and so there's all

1319
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 4: of these different elements. Well, I'm like, this is a

1320
00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:55,080
Speaker 4: book tour. Most of the time on book tour someone's

1321
00:58:55,120 --> 00:58:57,680
Speaker 4: being interviewed about their book. But I was like, but

1322
00:58:57,760 --> 00:58:59,120
Speaker 4: no one knows this book better than me, and I

1323
00:58:59,120 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 4: didn't know if the book let me do.

1324
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:08,640
Speaker 3: Exactly weird. It's weird, it's weird.

1325
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:10,840
Speaker 4: So I was like, I'm going to create this evening

1326
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,200
Speaker 4: that is going to allow me to set a foundation

1327
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:16,040
Speaker 4: for people to read the book. There is no worship.

1328
00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:18,280
Speaker 4: I'm gonna like, I'm going to engage with them. I'm

1329
00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:20,480
Speaker 4: going to interview people who I feel like embody the

1330
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:22,800
Speaker 4: message of the book, and then I'm going to speak.

1331
00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:24,760
Speaker 4: But it's so different than anything that's been done. So

1332
00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:27,120
Speaker 4: after Houston, I was like, it's too new, it's too different,

1333
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:27,919
Speaker 4: it doesn't make sense.

1334
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 3: I'm finished.

1335
00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:33,320
Speaker 4: But Power was moving even in my insecurity and uncertainty,

1336
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:37,280
Speaker 4: So I just I want to I want to find

1337
00:59:37,360 --> 00:59:39,520
Speaker 4: all of the ways that power moved in this season

1338
00:59:39,640 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 4: and collect them for whatever's next.

1339
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 2: Yes, I love that.

1340
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:49,040
Speaker 1: Sarah, Hey, thank you, Oh my goodness, ladies and gentlemen,

1341
00:59:49,120 --> 00:59:51,600
Speaker 1: Sarah Jakes Roberts, this has been amazing.

1342
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:53,280
Speaker 3: Thank you, no.

1343
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:55,080
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1344
00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:59,600
Speaker 1: We are going to do my favorite part of the show.

1345
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:02,880
Speaker 1: This is and it's called positive Outcomes, and this is

1346
01:00:02,880 --> 01:00:06,080
Speaker 1: where our listeners write into us and we give them advice. Okay,

1347
01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:08,560
Speaker 1: so this one says, Hey, Crystal. First, I want to

1348
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:10,560
Speaker 1: say thank you so much for being obedient to the

1349
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:13,160
Speaker 1: voice of God. Your podcast has made me feel so

1350
01:00:13,160 --> 01:00:18,160
Speaker 1: many emotions in every season. Thank you for letting me laugh, cry, sing, shout, dance,

1351
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:21,680
Speaker 1: evaluate life, get to the root, get closer with God,

1352
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:24,880
Speaker 1: and just overall, learn to be and embrace everything about me.

1353
01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:28,240
Speaker 1: I am a thirty three year old single, single mother

1354
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:31,280
Speaker 1: of three, and I feel like I'm stuck where I

1355
01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:34,440
Speaker 1: currently am. I know God has given me dreams and visions,

1356
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:41,560
Speaker 1: but I'm stuck on how to activate them. There have

1357
01:00:41,640 --> 01:00:44,600
Speaker 1: been times where I was very adamant on my path,

1358
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:47,440
Speaker 1: what I wanted to do and win, but when the

1359
01:00:47,480 --> 01:00:50,680
Speaker 1: time came forward to come forth, I became afraid. How

1360
01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:52,360
Speaker 1: do you listen to the voice of God when it

1361
01:00:52,400 --> 01:00:55,280
Speaker 1: seems as if everyone's voice is louder? How do you

1362
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:58,320
Speaker 1: get over your feelings of fear? What are some steps

1363
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:00,800
Speaker 1: that you recommend to someone who feels like it's too

1364
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:01,960
Speaker 1: late to get started?

1365
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:07,320
Speaker 2: Ooh wow? Okay for thank you so much for writing in.

1366
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:11,560
Speaker 1: I definitely can say that I have felt like I

1367
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:13,400
Speaker 1: got a late start in my career. You know, I

1368
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:15,840
Speaker 1: moved here and I wanna say two thousand and nine, okay,

1369
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:17,680
Speaker 1: And it was a ten year process before I got

1370
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:19,960
Speaker 1: my first show. Like so people are like, oh my gosh,

1371
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:21,360
Speaker 1: you just get out of nowhere. No, it was ten

1372
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:24,000
Speaker 1: years that I was over here grinding and struggling until

1373
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:27,520
Speaker 1: that hit. So it's never too late, you know, when

1374
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:30,000
Speaker 1: God says, yes, that's your time to go, baby, and

1375
01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:32,800
Speaker 1: nobody can stop you when he says yes. As far

1376
01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:37,000
Speaker 1: as other people's voices being louder than you can make

1377
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:39,560
Speaker 1: out the voice of God, for me, it's meditation and

1378
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:43,160
Speaker 1: sitting in the stillness in the morning when like nobody's up,

1379
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:45,040
Speaker 1: when I can just hear the birds waking up. That

1380
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:46,760
Speaker 1: is the best time for me to hear God's voice

1381
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:49,720
Speaker 1: because it's nothing going on. A lot of times, once

1382
01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:51,680
Speaker 1: the day get started, it's like calls start coming in,

1383
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 1: nobody giving you a pin. Oh, you shouldn't do that,

1384
01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:55,120
Speaker 1: you shouldn't do That's when I feel like it's hard

1385
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:57,600
Speaker 1: to like really discern where, like God, where are you

1386
01:01:57,640 --> 01:02:00,680
Speaker 1: really leading me? So I would say, for sure, just

1387
01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:02,880
Speaker 1: find time that you can really until you get to

1388
01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:04,640
Speaker 1: a point in your walk with guy where you really

1389
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:06,960
Speaker 1: just hear him. And sometimes you can be in New

1390
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:08,720
Speaker 1: York City Times Square and you can hear him clearly

1391
01:02:08,760 --> 01:02:11,479
Speaker 1: like gotcha, you know. But sometimes you need to find

1392
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:13,720
Speaker 1: that still quiet space that you can really just be

1393
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:15,920
Speaker 1: a one with him where you can see what direction

1394
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:19,640
Speaker 1: he wants to take you to. But in Sarah jax

1395
01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:24,560
Speaker 1: Robberts book Power Moves, she talks about marinating before you activate,

1396
01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:27,440
Speaker 1: because honey, I didn't activated some things I should have loved.

1397
01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:33,800
Speaker 2: Marinate for a lot, Okay, So definitely I.

1398
01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:36,400
Speaker 1: Would just marinate on what you're trying to do before

1399
01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:37,400
Speaker 1: you activate anything.

1400
01:02:37,680 --> 01:02:38,840
Speaker 2: Sarah, what do you got to say to her?

1401
01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:40,439
Speaker 3: Everything that you said?

1402
01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:43,480
Speaker 4: I would say as a part of marinating that I

1403
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:47,240
Speaker 4: would consider why do you feel stuck? I'm one of

1404
01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:50,200
Speaker 4: those people who like to face off with the fear,

1405
01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:53,080
Speaker 4: face off with the pain, the shame to understand the

1406
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:56,440
Speaker 4: messages that I am receiving. And so I am stuck

1407
01:02:56,480 --> 01:03:01,040
Speaker 4: because I am afraid that blank It's gonna happen. I

1408
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:05,200
Speaker 4: am stuck because I believe that I do not have blank. Like,

1409
01:03:05,280 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 4: what is it if that is making me feel stuck?

1410
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:11,640
Speaker 4: And is there anything that you can do to get unstuck, Like,

1411
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:14,840
Speaker 4: do I need to believe differently? Are there courses I

1412
01:03:14,880 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 4: can take that? Are there conversations that I need to have?

1413
01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:20,360
Speaker 4: Are these friendships the right friendships for me if I'm

1414
01:03:20,360 --> 01:03:22,480
Speaker 4: stuck because I'm afraid people are gonna make fun of

1415
01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:25,080
Speaker 4: me if I don't do this well? Like are these

1416
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:26,560
Speaker 4: the types of friends that I want to have in

1417
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:27,280
Speaker 4: the first place?

1418
01:03:27,320 --> 01:03:28,840
Speaker 3: Am I wrong? Or what I make fun?

1419
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:31,280
Speaker 4: Like? I think there's so many things that when we're

1420
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:34,120
Speaker 4: marinating that allows us to see. Sometimes what I'm marinating

1421
01:03:34,160 --> 01:03:37,120
Speaker 4: on isn't even something that's possible, Like these friends would

1422
01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:39,520
Speaker 4: never make fun of me. They're so compassionate, you know

1423
01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:42,000
Speaker 4: what I mean. And we get stuck believing something that's

1424
01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:43,880
Speaker 4: not even true. So I would definitely say t ta

1425
01:03:44,040 --> 01:03:47,120
Speaker 4: take some time to marinate to decide, like what exactly

1426
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:50,760
Speaker 4: makes me feel stuck? And is it really true? Because

1427
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:52,120
Speaker 4: a lot of times it's not true?

1428
01:03:52,480 --> 01:03:54,360
Speaker 2: So that's good, Yeah, it's real.

1429
01:03:54,560 --> 01:03:56,920
Speaker 1: A lot of times I'm an overthinker, so I always

1430
01:03:56,920 --> 01:03:59,920
Speaker 1: overthink the words sometimes, like or I can overthink the

1431
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:02,880
Speaker 1: best and be like girl, okay, yes, calm down.

1432
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:07,640
Speaker 4: I think that's part of what makes so much of

1433
01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:11,920
Speaker 4: what we do successful, is that it is well thought out, yes,

1434
01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:15,320
Speaker 4: but there are other moments where it is.

1435
01:04:16,040 --> 01:04:18,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is so true.

1436
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:23,400
Speaker 1: Then we do something that's called what I'm growing through

1437
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:28,520
Speaker 1: and what I'm going through? And right now I am.

1438
01:04:28,760 --> 01:04:31,520
Speaker 1: I talked about the asking God's enlarge my territory, but

1439
01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:34,800
Speaker 1: with that comes finding my voice in this space of

1440
01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:38,720
Speaker 1: my life. And right now I'm just really trying to

1441
01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:42,200
Speaker 1: figure out exactly where I want to really go at

1442
01:04:42,280 --> 01:04:45,280
Speaker 1: this as this next level expands. Because we were I

1443
01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:47,439
Speaker 1: was in church. We were just talking about how as

1444
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:50,320
Speaker 1: you continue to get bigger your option there becomes more options,

1445
01:04:50,640 --> 01:04:52,440
Speaker 1: and trying to decide, Okay, am I gonna go this way,

1446
01:04:52,480 --> 01:04:55,840
Speaker 1: this way, this way, really figuring out those those places

1447
01:04:55,880 --> 01:04:57,360
Speaker 1: and the avenues that I want to go down. So

1448
01:04:57,440 --> 01:05:00,440
Speaker 1: right now praying for the discernment to know, Okay, this

1449
01:05:00,520 --> 01:05:02,800
Speaker 1: is the way God wants me to go. Maybe I

1450
01:05:02,800 --> 01:05:05,960
Speaker 1: should wait on this because I'm like, I like to

1451
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:11,720
Speaker 1: have a lot of what's in the fire fire and

1452
01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:14,840
Speaker 1: a lot of different things going on, but making sure

1453
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:17,520
Speaker 1: that they're God things and their God moves because everything

1454
01:05:17,800 --> 01:05:19,560
Speaker 1: he said, every good door is not a God door, right,

1455
01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:20,800
Speaker 1: And I'm trying to make sure the doors I go

1456
01:05:20,880 --> 01:05:23,840
Speaker 1: through now are the right ones, because that can determine

1457
01:05:24,160 --> 01:05:25,920
Speaker 1: the future. It could be a good journey or it

1458
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:27,760
Speaker 1: can be a bad one. So right now it's just

1459
01:05:27,800 --> 01:05:29,480
Speaker 1: a lot on my plate with trying to figure out

1460
01:05:29,520 --> 01:05:30,440
Speaker 1: where to go next.

1461
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:33,160
Speaker 2: So that's what I'm going through and growing through.

1462
01:05:33,560 --> 01:05:39,920
Speaker 4: Okay, Yeah, I am growing through and going through embracing

1463
01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:44,960
Speaker 4: the I won't even call it a possibility, the reality

1464
01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:51,680
Speaker 4: that I am lovable, Okay, but hear me out. So,

1465
01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:57,160
Speaker 4: I think so much of my reconciliation with God came

1466
01:05:57,240 --> 01:06:01,960
Speaker 4: down to me feeling like God loves me in spite

1467
01:06:01,960 --> 01:06:03,400
Speaker 4: of all of these things I've done.

1468
01:06:03,520 --> 01:06:04,280
Speaker 3: God loves me.

1469
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:06,760
Speaker 4: He sees all of my flaws and he loves me,

1470
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:09,400
Speaker 4: and it almost feels and the grace of that is

1471
01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:15,040
Speaker 4: amazing and the charity of it, I think is amazing.

1472
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:20,120
Speaker 4: But I also feel like there's another level that I

1473
01:06:20,160 --> 01:06:23,080
Speaker 4: am growing and going through that is like, yes, I

1474
01:06:23,120 --> 01:06:26,120
Speaker 4: love you in spite of all those things, but also

1475
01:06:26,720 --> 01:06:27,720
Speaker 4: you're just lovable.

1476
01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:30,960
Speaker 1: Yeah you are. And I just met you today. Thank you.

1477
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:32,760
Speaker 1: Yeah you got your energy is good?

1478
01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:33,480
Speaker 3: Thank you.

1479
01:06:33,840 --> 01:06:38,000
Speaker 4: Like just embracing the idea that like maybe you're just

1480
01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:40,720
Speaker 4: a lovable person like you're not loved out of this

1481
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:43,680
Speaker 4: like charity, this pad on the head, like oh my gosh,

1482
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:48,800
Speaker 4: you know I love you, draggedy stuff. I love you,

1483
01:06:49,120 --> 01:06:50,720
Speaker 4: and you know I was glad to be loved like that,

1484
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:52,680
Speaker 4: thank you, you know what I mean? I think that

1485
01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:55,600
Speaker 4: has been my postures, like oh my gosh, but like

1486
01:06:55,640 --> 01:06:58,800
Speaker 4: this idea that like no, like it wasn't a stretch.

1487
01:06:58,960 --> 01:07:00,680
Speaker 3: Yes, like we talked about God.

1488
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:02,720
Speaker 4: Leaving or Jesus leaving the ninety nine to go get

1489
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:04,840
Speaker 4: the one, and if you're that one, you can feel like,

1490
01:07:04,880 --> 01:07:07,240
Speaker 4: oh my gosh, he had to stretch, but you know

1491
01:07:07,360 --> 01:07:10,160
Speaker 4: he found them. But like what if it wasn't a stretch,

1492
01:07:10,400 --> 01:07:13,760
Speaker 4: Like what if it was its privilege and it's honored

1493
01:07:13,920 --> 01:07:15,840
Speaker 4: to go out of his way because he knew that

1494
01:07:15,920 --> 01:07:19,080
Speaker 4: You're so lovable that like I don't ever want you

1495
01:07:19,120 --> 01:07:22,440
Speaker 4: to feel lost. So I don't know, it's a rewiring

1496
01:07:22,480 --> 01:07:23,640
Speaker 4: that I'm rolling and going.

1497
01:07:23,840 --> 01:07:25,000
Speaker 2: I love that.

1498
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:30,120
Speaker 1: That is so good. The last thing we do is

1499
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:33,280
Speaker 1: fill in the blank, keep it blank, sweetie, okay, And

1500
01:07:33,400 --> 01:07:37,920
Speaker 1: I'm going to say keep marinating until it's time to activate, sweetie.

1501
01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:45,640
Speaker 3: I am going to say, keep it authentic, sweetye.

1502
01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:46,200
Speaker 1: I love that.

1503
01:07:46,640 --> 01:07:48,959
Speaker 2: I love that, Sarah. Thank you so much.

1504
01:07:49,280 --> 01:07:51,920
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Guys, thank you so much for tuning

1505
01:07:51,960 --> 01:07:53,520
Speaker 1: into this episode to keep it positive.

1506
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:53,920
Speaker 2: Sweetie.

1507
01:07:54,120 --> 01:07:56,120
Speaker 1: If you want to write into our open listener letter,

1508
01:07:56,200 --> 01:07:58,920
Speaker 1: you can write into keep it Positive Sweetie at gmail

1509
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:01,520
Speaker 1: dot com. That's Sweetie with an Ie. You can follow

1510
01:08:01,520 --> 01:08:04,280
Speaker 1: me on all platforms that love Christine and that's luv

1511
01:08:04,760 --> 01:08:06,640
Speaker 1: Sarah Tael the people that can find you.

1512
01:08:06,640 --> 01:08:11,040
Speaker 4: You can find me at Sarah Jakes Roberts on Instagram, Facebook,

1513
01:08:11,480 --> 01:08:14,480
Speaker 4: and on TikTok the real Sarah Jax Robert.

1514
01:08:14,520 --> 01:08:16,439
Speaker 1: There we go, all right, guys, and make sure you

1515
01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:19,080
Speaker 1: go right now to get her new book, Para Moves.

1516
01:08:19,360 --> 01:08:20,080
Speaker 3: It's everywhere.

1517
01:08:20,200 --> 01:08:21,840
Speaker 2: There's no excuse for me not to have it. Go

1518
01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:22,240
Speaker 2: get this.

1519
01:08:22,320 --> 01:08:24,640
Speaker 1: It definitely make a difference in your walk. Thank you

1520
01:08:24,680 --> 01:08:26,880
Speaker 1: so much, Sarah. I appreciate.

1521
01:08:36,200 --> 01:08:38,439
Speaker 5: Thank you Lord so much, Father God for this moment.

1522
01:08:38,439 --> 01:08:40,040
Speaker 5: Thank you for bringing everyone here safely.

1523
01:08:40,080 --> 01:08:40,240
Speaker 1: Lord.

1524
01:08:40,360 --> 01:08:42,680
Speaker 2: Yes, we thank you so much for the opportunity.

1525
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:44,640
Speaker 5: To converse vulnerably, openly, transparently.

1526
01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:45,200
Speaker 1: Father God.

1527
01:08:45,439 --> 01:08:47,720
Speaker 5: We just asked that you bless this moment and for

1528
01:08:47,760 --> 01:08:50,400
Speaker 5: everyone that will watch this later on, Father God, that

1529
01:08:50,439 --> 01:08:52,160
Speaker 5: they will receive what you want them to receive.

1530
01:08:52,479 --> 01:08:54,080
Speaker 3: We think you will. We honor you and your name.

1531
01:08:54,080 --> 01:09:01,519
Speaker 2: We pray Amen. Amen five