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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live,

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Speaker 1: just like we're going to read this one right here.

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Speaker 1: Who knows it could be your letter? You just never know.

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Speaker 2: All right, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the Strawberry

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Speaker 2: Letter with my good friend, Shirley Strawberry.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, my good friend Junior. Subject three years later

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Speaker 1: and we're only friends. Dear Stephen, Shirley, I'm thirty four

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Speaker 1: years old and my significant other is thirty nine and

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Speaker 1: we've been together for three years. I call him my

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Speaker 1: significant other because he has yet to define our relationship.

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Speaker 1: We started as friends, just like most couples do, and

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Speaker 1: we got closer. He told me that he didn't want

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Speaker 1: anything serious, but he enjoyed spending time with me. We

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Speaker 1: started having sex a month after we met, and at

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Speaker 1: that time I was very busy at work and helping

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Speaker 1: my sister with her new baby, so I was not

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Speaker 1: ready for anything serious either. Then my guy tore his

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Speaker 1: acl and he needed something someone to help him out,

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Speaker 1: so he came to stay with me for a week.

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Speaker 1: I was crazy about him, so taking care of him

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Speaker 1: came naturally. Whenever we're together and his phone rang, he'd

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Speaker 1: tell the caller he was with me, and he'd called

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Speaker 1: them back. This made me confident about the direction our

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Speaker 1: relationship was going in, so I never asked him if

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Speaker 1: we were boyfriend slash girlfriend. After two years, we were

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Speaker 1: stuck together like glue. If you saw him, you saw me.

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Speaker 1: That all changed last week when we double dated with

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Speaker 1: one of my girlfriends and her fiance. They got engaged

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Speaker 1: recently and they are so in love you can feel it.

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Speaker 1: My friend asked my guy if he'd been thinking about marriage,

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Speaker 1: and my guys spoke up and embarrassed me so bad.

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Speaker 1: He said, we're not that serious yet. We're best friends

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Speaker 1: and we love each other, but we are not exclusive.

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Speaker 1: He told my friend that I'm aware of our status

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Speaker 1: and I'm not pressuring him for a title. I sat there,

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Speaker 1: looking stupid and holding back tears. He said he does

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Speaker 1: plan to get married one day, when the time is right.

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Speaker 1: What I heard is that I'm not the one. Is

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Speaker 1: he wasting my time or is he dating others to

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Speaker 1: get it out of his system before he proposes. I'm

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Speaker 1: so confused. Okay, come on now, I really do not

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Speaker 1: want you to be confused right now. I don't want that.

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Speaker 3: I need you to be good and woke.

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Speaker 1: Okay, because this man just told your good friends and

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Speaker 1: you what he really thinks of you in no uncertain terms,

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Speaker 1: and you heard him tell them, so please be clear.

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Speaker 1: He said you're not exclus elusive. You are not exclusive,

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Speaker 1: which means yes, he's seeing other people, okay, and that

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Speaker 1: marriage will happen one day when the time is right. Well,

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Speaker 1: if it's marriage you want with him, you can no

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Speaker 1: longer sit back and allow him and him only to

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Speaker 1: define this relationship. You have a say in this too.

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Speaker 1: You're in it. Your feelings matter, and if you've changed

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Speaker 1: and you want more, you have to let him know.

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Speaker 1: It's been three years, and after three years you should

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Speaker 1: feel extremely comfortable in expressing yourself to him, and with

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Speaker 1: a lot of confidence. I might add, remember he had

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Speaker 1: no shame, no trepidation when he spoke his mind to

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Speaker 1: your friends, and you should do the same. You should

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Speaker 1: do the same, otherwise you could be spending another three

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Speaker 1: years in this holding pattern of a relationship, not nowhere

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Speaker 1: it's going, and I know you don't want that. Steve,

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Speaker 1: Speak up, girl.

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Speaker 2: Steve, Well, this letter, you've explained your situation thoroughly. So

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Speaker 2: what you want our advice for? I don't understand. Uh,

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Speaker 2: you're thirty four, he's thirty nine. I call him my

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Speaker 2: significant other.

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Speaker 3: He don't call you nothing.

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Speaker 2: I call him my significant other. And then you justified

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Speaker 2: by saying because he has yet to define our relationship.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, that's cause you ain't defined. You just what

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Speaker 2: what you waiting on him to do? Because all throughout

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Speaker 2: the letter he show you what he gonna do, which

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Speaker 2: ain't pretty much, ain't about nothing. Well you say we

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Speaker 2: started as friends, just like most couples. That's not how

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Speaker 2: it usually works. But okay, as we got closer, he

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Speaker 2: told me he didn't want anything serious.

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Speaker 3: Okay, you typed this, so obviously you heard it. He

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Speaker 3: told you he.

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Speaker 2: Didn't want nothing serious, but he enjoyed spending time with me.

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Speaker 2: We started having sex a month after we met. Well

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Speaker 2: that's when he really enjoyed us. I'm spending time with

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Speaker 2: you because y'all was having sex and I was very

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Speaker 2: busy at work helping my sister wear her new baby.

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Speaker 3: So I wasn't really ready for anything seriously.

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Speaker 2: Well, see you got into the relationship like a lot

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Speaker 2: of people do, and you was wanting something. But you

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Speaker 2: was talking about you ain't want nothing either. Well it

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Speaker 2: don't sound like that in the letter, because I don't

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Speaker 2: think what you at the table grime for later on

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Speaker 2: if you ain't want nothing. See, then my guy tore

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Speaker 2: his al and he needed someone to help him out,

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Speaker 2: so he came to stay with me for a week.

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Speaker 2: I was crazy about taking care of him naturally. So

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Speaker 2: now when he needs you for convenience, here he come.

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Speaker 2: Now he need a woman. Now, see he need nothing seizus.

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Speaker 2: But that see that tore in acl. That's a serious injury.

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Speaker 2: So now let me cozy on up to this girl

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Speaker 2: that I'm using, and I'm gonna go stay at her

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Speaker 2: house for a week because it's serious. Now, but minego.

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Speaker 2: He told you he don't want nothing sious, but that injury.

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Speaker 2: Don't tighten him up till now he ain't come. All right,

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Speaker 2: I'll tell you the rest of him when we come back.

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Speaker 1: All right, you heard him. We'll have part two of

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Speaker 1: Steve's response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's subject three years later, we're still friends. We'll get

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Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening hard morning show.

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter,

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Speaker 1: the subject three years later, we're still friends.

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Speaker 2: Well, lady, you're dating the man. You were just friends,

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Speaker 2: you say, like most couples. Then y'all got closer, and

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Speaker 2: he told you I don't want nothing serious. He told

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Speaker 2: you that top of the letter. But you said he

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Speaker 2: enjoyed spending time with me. Well you know why because

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Speaker 2: right after that, y'all said, y'all start having the sixth

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Speaker 2: a month after we met.

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Speaker 3: Well, no good in here will are you enjoying this time?

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Speaker 3: But you now now you was okay with that, you say,

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Speaker 3: because you was busy at working.

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Speaker 2: You was helping your sister with a new baby.

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Speaker 3: So I was not ready for anything serious either.

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Speaker 2: Ah, boy, that ain't what this letter say because you

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Speaker 2: wrote and the whole time in the letter you sound

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Speaker 2: like you was thinking someone.

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Speaker 3: Was gonna get serious.

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Speaker 2: Right, Well, then you got towards ACL. He needed somebody

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Speaker 2: to help him out, so he came and stay with

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Speaker 2: me for a week. Because you know why, because at

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Speaker 2: HCl is a serious injury. So now he of your

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Speaker 2: house for a week. You loved it because you're crazy

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Speaker 2: about him. Thank of him just came naturally, as it

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Speaker 2: does with a lot of women, because a lot of

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Speaker 2: women are very nurturing by nature. Women are the best

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Speaker 2: nurturers in the world. So you had a chance to

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Speaker 2: take care of somebody, show him how much you love him,

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Speaker 2: how serious you are, why he had that serious injury.

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Speaker 3: Girl, you're making it.

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Speaker 2: Happen and now here going the part that I really

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Speaker 2: want you to talk about. So taking care of him

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Speaker 2: came naturally. Whenever we were together and his phone rang,

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Speaker 2: he tell the caller he was with me, and he

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Speaker 2: called them back. This made me confident about the direction

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Speaker 2: of our relationship was going on. Who so you're ignoring

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Speaker 2: the fact that the phone ranging, you just go damn that.

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Speaker 2: You Your takeaway with that was he tell everybody I'm

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Speaker 2: I'm with her.

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Speaker 3: I'll call you back. That gave you confidence.

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Speaker 2: Girl, You forgot he told you this wasn't nothing serious,

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Speaker 2: and based on the conversation, he tell that to everybody.

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Speaker 2: So now when the girls do call him on the phone,

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Speaker 2: he didn't already told him they gotta toe on a

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Speaker 2: cla he's staying with his friend.

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Speaker 3: I'm with her right now. I'll call you back.

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Speaker 2: And they cool with that because he done told them

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Speaker 2: they ain't got nothing serious. But mostly he done told

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Speaker 2: them you ain't serious. And if you don't think he

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Speaker 2: told him that, that's why he's so coolly answered his phone,

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Speaker 2: because why he got it. He put his phone on vibrator.

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Speaker 2: If he was trying to hide something, he ain't got to, though,

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Speaker 2: he can leave it open because you ain't serious.

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Speaker 3: He told you that, but he told everybody else.

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Speaker 2: So now that made you confident about the direction your

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Speaker 2: relationship was going in. So I never asked him if

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Speaker 2: we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Mistake. After two years, we

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Speaker 2: were stuck together like glue. Okay, if you saw him,

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Speaker 2: you saw me. That all changed last week when we

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Speaker 2: double dated with one of my girlfriends and her fiance.

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Speaker 2: They got engaged recently and they are so in love

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Speaker 2: and you can feel it. My friend asked my guy

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Speaker 2: if he been thinking about marriage, and my guy spoke

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Speaker 2: up and embarrassed me so bad.

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Speaker 3: He said, he's not that. We're not that serious yet,

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Speaker 3: see because his acl fixed.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he told you two years ago he wasn't looking

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Speaker 2: for nothing serious. He said, we're best friends and we

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Speaker 2: love each other, but we're not exclusive.

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Speaker 3: Now. I don't know why that affected. He been asking

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Speaker 3: the phone the whole time.

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Speaker 2: What he told my friend that I'm aware of our

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Speaker 2: status and I'm not pressuring him for a title.

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Speaker 3: He told the truth. He told you he didn't want

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Speaker 3: nothing serious.

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Speaker 2: He ain't never gave you a title, and you know

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Speaker 2: you're aware of it because he told you that, And

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Speaker 2: you ain't pressing him for a title, because you said

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Speaker 2: back in the letter you ain't never asked him if

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Speaker 2: you was boyfriend and girlfriend. You said that, so you

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Speaker 2: can't get mad at this guy in this letter at all.

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Speaker 2: I sat there looking stupid and holding back tears. He

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Speaker 2: said he does planning to get married one day when

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Speaker 2: the time is right. What I heard is I'm not

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Speaker 2: the one. Is he wasting my time? Or is he

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Speaker 2: dating others to get out of his system before he promoted?

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Speaker 3: Where do you get this stuff from that? You keep

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Speaker 3: reading into this?

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Speaker 2: You said, is he dating others to get it out

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Speaker 2: of his system before he proposes?

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Speaker 3: He thirty nine? Right? But what he thirty nine? Lady?

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Speaker 2: What do you mean he trying to get this out

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Speaker 2: of his system before he proposes.

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Speaker 3: He never told you wanted to marry you.

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Speaker 2: He's never mentioned marriage to you. You ain't even his girlfriend,

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Speaker 2: and he told it to you in front of your friends.

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Speaker 2: Why you're still there hoping and waiting is beyond me.

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Speaker 2: What are you waiting for?

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Speaker 3: Lady?

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Speaker 2: You know the answer to all of this. Stop reading

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Speaker 2: more into something that ain't there. All you need to

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Speaker 2: do is go in and say, look, I want a title.

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Speaker 2: I want to know what his relationship is, or we're

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Speaker 2: gonna have to end it bye, and he's gonna just

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Speaker 2: go on over there with your mother.

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Speaker 3: Girls's called thank you.

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Speaker 2: Steve.

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Speaker 1: Comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey f em

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Speaker 1: and Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Podcast on demand.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to The Harvey Morning Show