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Speaker 1: That was a really really it's a really pigful time.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Please welcome Jada pink It Smith. You want

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Speaker 1: out of the pain. Only way out is death. Chris

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Speaker 1: comes to the end of the stage and he looks

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Speaker 1: at me deeply sincerely, and he says.

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Speaker 2: I also have a letter from Will. I wanted to

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Speaker 2: share a trigger warning before this episode starts. This podcast

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Speaker 2: includes discussions of suicide and self harm. If you're someone

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Speaker 2: you know is struggling with thoughts of self harm or suicide,

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Speaker 2: please seek help immediately. You're not alone and there is

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Speaker 2: support available. Reach out to a mental health professional, a

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Speaker 2: trusted friend, or a family member, or call the National

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Speaker 2: Suicide Prevention Lifeline at nine to eight eight. That's nine

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Speaker 2: to eight eight. Before Oh, we jump into this episode,

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Speaker 2: I'd like to invite you to join this community to

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Speaker 2: hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier,

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Speaker 2: and more healed. All I want you to do is

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Speaker 2: click on the subscribe button. I love your support. It's

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Speaker 2: incredible to see all your comments and we're just getting started.

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Speaker 2: I can't wait to go on this journey with you.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for subscribing. It means the world to.

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Speaker 1: Me, the best selling authoring the host the.

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Speaker 2: Number one health and wellness.

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Speaker 1: Podcast On Purpose with Jay Shetty.

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Speaker 2: Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. I'm your host,

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Speaker 2: Jay Shetty, and today is an extremely special episode for

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Speaker 2: me because I'm sitting down with one of my dearest friends,

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Speaker 2: my sisters, someone that I deeply love and admire in

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Speaker 2: this world, and she's gone out and created something that

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Speaker 2: I believe is going to be a gift to anyone

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Speaker 2: who reads it. I've just spent the last couple of

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Speaker 2: months reading through her new book myself, and I can

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Speaker 2: tell you this. It is a journey of hardship. It

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Speaker 2: is a journey of healing. It's a journey of growth,

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Speaker 2: and it's a journey of learning to accept and embrace

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Speaker 2: the discomfort that life brings to each and every one

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Speaker 2: of us in so many different ways. And for that reason,

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Speaker 2: I believe that when you read it, when you take

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Speaker 2: out time to hopefully share it with your friends, your community,

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Speaker 2: maybe you're going to make it the next pick for

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Speaker 2: your book club and dissect it and analyze it and

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Speaker 2: reflect on it together, which I think it would be

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Speaker 2: really powerful for I hope that this book is going

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Speaker 2: to help make you happier, healthier, and more healed, because

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Speaker 2: I really believe it has the power to do that

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Speaker 2: and guide you towards your greatest higher self in all

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Speaker 2: areas of your life, whether it be your career, your relationships,

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Speaker 2: as a parent, as a friend. I really believe that

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Speaker 2: this book has the ability to uplift you as a person,

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Speaker 2: as a parent, as a partner, and ultimately as a

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Speaker 2: human trying to live and walk on this earth that

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Speaker 2: can be chaotic and crazy. So I want to welcome

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Speaker 2: to the show one of my dearest friends, Jada Pinkett Smith,

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Speaker 2: who of course needs no introduction, but there is an actor, producer, musician, host,

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Speaker 2: now author, an advocate whose career has spanned over thirty years.

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Speaker 2: In twenty eighteen, Jada added a new element to her

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Speaker 2: multi hypheneate talents one of hosts on the Emmy Award

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Speaker 2: winning talk show titled Red Table Talk that I've had

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Speaker 2: the fortune of being a guest on so many times.

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Speaker 2: It was one of the highlights of my careers when

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Speaker 2: I was first invited on and on the series, Jada,

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Speaker 2: alongside her wonderful daughter Willow and her mom Adrian, take

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Speaker 2: a multi generational approach to discussions that speak to social

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Speaker 2: and cultural issues, which have encouraged open discussions and dialogue

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Speaker 2: among hundreds of millions of people. And a new book

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Speaker 2: is out right now. It's called Worthy. This beautiful cover

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Speaker 2: made of so many wonderful images and a mosaic of

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Speaker 2: tiny little pictures of Jada. But I want to encourage

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Speaker 2: you all to grab a copy of this book. Welcome

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Speaker 2: to the show, Jada Pinkett Smith, Jada, Jay.

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Speaker 1: Now, Jay, before we start going, can I tell a story?

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Speaker 2: You can?

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Speaker 1: Okay, got it. I have to let your audience know

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Speaker 1: how this book even became. Okay, they have to know, Jay, Okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, So I visit you. I'm here visiting because

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Speaker 1: Swammy's here, right enough, Swamy is here. And you had

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Speaker 1: often said, Jada, you should write a book. I'm like, Jay,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to. So this day, once again, you're like, Jada,

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Speaker 1: you should write a book. I'm like, Jay, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to write a book. You're like, well, you should

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Speaker 1: write a book, Jay, I don't want to write a book.

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Speaker 1: We're going back and forth like siblings. Roda Knough comes

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Speaker 1: into the kitchen because Roddy's making a beautiful lunch for

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Speaker 1: us to eat. He comes, he sits there and he goes, Jay,

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Speaker 1: if Jada doesn't want to write a book, she doesn't

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Speaker 1: have to write a book. And you go, well, I

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Speaker 1: think she should write a book. And I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: did he just talk back to that? Why? But I'm

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Speaker 1: going to tell you something that was really a moment

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Speaker 1: for me, right because I said, because I'd been pushing

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Speaker 1: back for a long time and you talking to me

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Speaker 1: about it, and that moment, I was like, Okay, I

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Speaker 1: need you to take that home and I need you

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Speaker 1: to think about it because Jay's your brother. There's something

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Speaker 1: here that you might not be seeing. And it was

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Speaker 1: really that moment that put me on pause. And a

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Speaker 1: couple of days later, I was in meditation and it

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Speaker 1: came to me and I said, oh, my goodness, my

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Speaker 1: journey from unlovable to lovable is a worthy story to tell.

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Speaker 1: And I called you and I said, Jay, I got it.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: For you were so persistent about it, right, And I

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Speaker 1: just want to thank you because honestly, and I'm not

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Speaker 1: you know, if it hadn't been for that moment, that

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Speaker 1: book wouldn't be here right now, right, And you really

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Speaker 1: were on my neck about it for a long time.

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Speaker 1: So I just want to say thank you because you

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Speaker 1: also made it clear you were like, you made it

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Speaker 1: clear to me I would get a lot out of it,

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Speaker 1: and I have. So I just want to say thank you.

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Speaker 1: It's been such a deep healing process for me in

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Speaker 1: ways that I could have never imagined, you know, and

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Speaker 1: what you said before you know, we even started, and

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Speaker 1: the introduction, you know, just that hope of it's so

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Speaker 1: hard to find authentic happiness in this world, even through

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Speaker 1: my journey, my fifty two years, and just trying to

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Speaker 1: figure out how to be authentically happy has been such

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Speaker 1: an excruciating process, and one of the purposes of this book.

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Speaker 1: It's like, if I can help in any small amount

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Speaker 1: of way, you know, in any way possible to help

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Speaker 1: somebody have an easier or just leave like little bread

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Speaker 1: crumbs kind of like not a blueprint because everybody's process

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Speaker 1: is different, but just little bread crumbs of how to

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Speaker 1: find that for yourself, because it has been really difficult

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Speaker 1: for me. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

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Speaker 2: Well, thank you for sharing that with me. And I

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Speaker 2: think I blocked that memory out to go. I don't

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Speaker 2: think I've ever tried to stand up against rather than

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Speaker 2: strong my teaching before I think that would, so I've

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Speaker 2: pretended that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like that did it for me.

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Speaker 2: Growing up reading autobiographies is what changed my life. And

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Speaker 2: I think one of the things that I feel we

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Speaker 2: struggle with today is that people's narratives are being told

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Speaker 2: from so many different angles apart from their own. And

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Speaker 2: when I grew up and I was reading the words

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Speaker 2: of Martin Luther King or I was reading Malcolm X,

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Speaker 2: I found there to be so much power in reading

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Speaker 2: the words directly from an individual. And so even if

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Speaker 2: that wasn't their autobiography, if it was their work, their words,

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Speaker 2: you felt so intimately connected with that person. And I

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Speaker 2: feel that when people move on and we don't have

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Speaker 2: them on the planet anymore, it's almost like you lose

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Speaker 2: this treasure house of experience and memories. And I also

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Speaker 2: think that if someone's listening or watching right now and

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Speaker 2: you're thinking, well, Jay, I would never write a book.

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Speaker 2: I'm not a public figure. I'm not a celebrity. I'm

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Speaker 2: not a musician or an actor. I don't have a

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Speaker 2: career path that means I should be an author. I

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Speaker 2: still think that telling your story, whether it's to your family,

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Speaker 2: your kids is so.

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Speaker 1: I could not agree with you more. I think it's

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Speaker 1: actually imperative that looking at your life on the page,

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Speaker 1: like you forget experiences, you know, you forget like, oh

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Speaker 1: my goodness, I did that. Oh I've went through that.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, really I came through that. It's like

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Speaker 1: it's almost like an homage to yourself, honestly, to really

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Speaker 1: be able to look at your life and go, Wow,

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Speaker 1: what a life. I think everybody should take some time,

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Speaker 1: even if it's just one like because even with Worthy,

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Speaker 1: I took one line which was unlovable to lovable. So

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Speaker 1: anything in regards to my life that was on that

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Speaker 1: arc I talked about, but there's so much more, so

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Speaker 1: many other parts of my life. Right. So even if

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Speaker 1: somebody says, you know what, I just want to, you know,

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Speaker 1: write down the happiest moments of my childhood and I

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Speaker 1: want to just look at that on paper.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: But whatever journey somebody decides to pick from from their

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Speaker 1: life and to examine thoroughly on the page, I would

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Speaker 1: definitely suggest that because it is really powerful and it's

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Speaker 1: so healing, and it will teach you so much about yourself.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, I can't agree more I couldn't agree more. Let's

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Speaker 2: let's dive in, okay, because that journey of being unlovable

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Speaker 2: and lovable as you're tracing there, I think it's a

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Speaker 2: journey that we all have to walk in our own ways.

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Speaker 2: And I think when you know I met you, I

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Speaker 2: think five years ago. Now, we've just spent a lot

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Speaker 2: of time together in the last five years. Hence we

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Speaker 2: have a deep connection. But when I first met you,

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Speaker 2: I was looking at you from the outside, and over

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Speaker 2: the last five years, I've got to know you through

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Speaker 2: an inner journey and you know, through family as well,

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Speaker 2: and through spending time with your family. And what I

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Speaker 2: found was that we often lose context when you view

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Speaker 2: someone's life from the outside, and when you get closer,

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Speaker 2: the greatest thing you get is context. And so I

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Speaker 2: wanted to start off and this book does that so well.

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Speaker 2: But I want to start off of what does it

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Speaker 2: feel like growing up with a teenage mom who has

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Speaker 2: an addiction? Like I think that that is so formative

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Speaker 2: in so many ways, and it's so easy to forget

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Speaker 2: that that's where you started because of your career.

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Speaker 1: Growing up with my mother a teenage right, it's like

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Speaker 1: we grew up together. It's almost like having a big sister.

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Speaker 1: I mean even to this day, you know, it's like

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Speaker 1: it's like I get to have two roles in my mom.

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Speaker 1: Like sometimes she's still my big sister, and then sometimes

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Speaker 1: she really comes in as your as my mother, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. As you saw in the book,

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Speaker 1: it's like I had all this freedom, running crazy in

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Speaker 1: the streets, what have you, but there was such pivotal

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Speaker 1: moments where Adrian came to the rescue as my mother,

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Speaker 1: right and she still does that to this day. But

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Speaker 1: it was you know, I did a lot of having

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Speaker 1: to raise myself and there are parts of that. There's

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Speaker 1: pros and cons to that. There's a lot of pros.

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Speaker 1: It's like that is the part that made it possible

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Speaker 1: for me to come to La at the age of

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Speaker 1: eighteen on my own and figure this Hollywood game out right,

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Speaker 1: just with no fear, completely fearless, but then also kind

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Speaker 1: of growing up with certain ideas of what I thought

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Speaker 1: love was or certain survival mechanisms that you know, as

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Speaker 1: I got older, didn't quite serve me. But I think

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Speaker 1: that we all have that, no matter what our family

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Speaker 1: background is, you know what I'm saying, We all kind

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Speaker 1: of pick up things that along the way that don't

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Speaker 1: serve us for the entirety of our journey. I tell you,

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Speaker 1: I learned a lot having a young mom at an

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Speaker 1: early age. Really do think that even with our trials

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Speaker 1: and our challenges, that the Great Supreme gave me the

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Speaker 1: mom I was supposed to have and the most perfect

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Speaker 1: mother in the journey that I was supposed to have

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Speaker 1: to prepare me for other parts of my journey. But

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Speaker 1: you know, it was challenging and beautiful at the same time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I love gamming, so I just want to put.

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Speaker 1: Them Yeah, yeah, we all love gam Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But it's really interesting. There was one line in your

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Speaker 2: book that really kind of cemented that feeling of unlovable

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Speaker 2: to me from that time, and you said, there was

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Speaker 2: a time when you felt like you were not being

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Speaker 2: a priority to the two people who gave you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that was hard.

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Speaker 2: That really hit me because I was like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that was probably really difficult, and like you had

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Speaker 1: two parents who drugs were their focus and the lifestyle

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Speaker 1: that came with it.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: I also talk about in the book when my father

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Speaker 1: told me at seven years old, I can't be your father,

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Speaker 1: and it's just like, Wow, Okay, what do I do

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Speaker 1: with this?

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Speaker 2: What does a seven year old do with that?

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Speaker 1: You just kind of internalize it, and you kind of go, Okay,

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Speaker 1: what's wrong with me? What is it about me? That

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Speaker 1: I'm not enough for these two people to look at

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Speaker 1: me as a priority? Because I see everybody else's parents

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Speaker 1: and it looks like their kids are their priority. So

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Speaker 1: what's wrong with me? So you kinda I internalize this

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Speaker 1: idea of not being enough, not being lovable, and it's

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Speaker 1: strange because it's not that that I didn't feel like

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Speaker 1: my mother didn't love me. It's just that am I

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Speaker 1: lovable enough to be the priority? Am I lovable enough

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Speaker 1: for you to show up for me as the mom

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Speaker 1: that I see other moms be, you know? So I

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Speaker 1: definitely in turnalize that, and I think that I took

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Speaker 1: that into the world of like, I'm just going to

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Speaker 1: prove constantly having improved myself, and I'm lovable. I'm lovable enough.

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Speaker 1: I'm lovable enough, And I think that was some of

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Speaker 1: the messaging that I took from my childhood into my adulthood.

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Speaker 2: And I appreciate you going back to that seven year

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Speaker 2: old self because in hindsight and now, looking back, you

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Speaker 2: can make sense of it, yeah, and you can connect

264
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Speaker 2: the dots, but it's like when you're actually in that position,

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Speaker 2: it's very natural, as you said, to just internalize it.

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Speaker 2: And I think that what's really interesting with your journey

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Speaker 2: is we all have to develop the emotional skills our

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Speaker 2: parents didn't have. Yeah, And the earlier we do that,

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00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:48,080
Speaker 2: the easier and simpler life becomes. But often most of

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Speaker 2: our energy goes in thinking, well, I wish they had

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Speaker 2: them or they should have had them. And when I'm

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Speaker 2: listening to you, what I'm hearing is that it's not

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Speaker 2: even the belief that they don't love me or love

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Speaker 2: me enough. It's the belief that so inside I am

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Speaker 2: not lovable you. Yes, yes, right, it's it's so inside you.

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Speaker 2: It's not even about them.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, it's like I'm not valuable.

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Speaker 2: I'm not.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's because that's your mirror at first, right, But

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Speaker 1: it and it's so complicated and nuanced. Do I believe

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00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,040
Speaker 1: my father loved me, of course, in the way that

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Speaker 1: he could. I think that he felt the most loving

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Speaker 1: thing he could do was tell me I can't be

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Speaker 1: your father. And I respected that even at seven, because

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Speaker 1: I was like at least somebody's telling me the truth.

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Speaker 1: I've always respected hardcore truths. That is one thing about me.

287
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:47,720
Speaker 1: I respect hardcore truths. Doesn't mean I always like them,

288
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Speaker 1: but I freaking respect them. At seven seven that's a gangster,

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00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:56,440
Speaker 1: hardcore truth to tell a child. But then at the

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00:16:56,480 --> 00:17:01,920
Speaker 1: same time that seed within me that is like, well,

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Speaker 1: are all men like that? Like if my dad doesn't

292
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,760
Speaker 1: love me, how is any man gonna love me? I

293
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:12,119
Speaker 1: didn't realize that at seven. That's when I started getting

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00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,520
Speaker 1: into like sixteen seventeen, when I start, you know, having

295
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:21,720
Speaker 1: those kind of intimate relationships with men and realizing, oh wow,

296
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:27,840
Speaker 1: this area is this area is quite unhealthy, you know

297
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:32,240
Speaker 1: what I mean of just like how I viewed myself.

298
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:35,720
Speaker 1: I was either giving too much or not enough. I'm

299
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:41,000
Speaker 1: either hot or super cold, you know, emotionally, and so

300
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:46,240
Speaker 1: trying to regulate and understand because you know, my understanding

301
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:51,719
Speaker 1: is that a young girl's first relationship and understanding of

302
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:55,440
Speaker 1: love is with her father. I didn't have that at all.

303
00:17:56,160 --> 00:18:03,720
Speaker 1: So I'm still learning, still really immature in that area

304
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:12,800
Speaker 1: of just emotional development around intimacy with masculinity. I know

305
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,320
Speaker 1: that now, whereas before I didn't know.

306
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:15,400
Speaker 2: That, Yeah you're aware.

307
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,280
Speaker 1: I'm not aware. This is just what it is. And

308
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:21,639
Speaker 1: then growing up in an environment with so much violence

309
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Speaker 1: and so much aggression, and oh man, it was like

310
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,959
Speaker 1: what do you do with all that? And trying to

311
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:31,720
Speaker 1: just like unpack all of it to just figure out like, oh,

312
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,879
Speaker 1: life is about love. It's not about power and ego

313
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,840
Speaker 1: and winning and losing. I mean, it's taking me fifty

314
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:43,840
Speaker 1: I'm fifty two, just now understanding that it's been a

315
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:47,720
Speaker 1: wild ride. But you know what, every day I thank

316
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:51,399
Speaker 1: the Great Supreme for the journey and just forgiving me

317
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:56,600
Speaker 1: the awakenings, the little awakenings that I get about love

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Speaker 1: and just my willingness to have it, know, really wanting

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00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 1: to understand what love is all about. But I do

320
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:08,560
Speaker 1: have to give my grandmother a lot of credit. Yeah, Marian, really,

321
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,360
Speaker 1: I had all these different seeds that were planted in

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00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,760
Speaker 1: me and Mary in seed. That that goes to show

323
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:21,080
Speaker 1: you how the legacy of love will overpower everything. It

324
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,439
Speaker 1: is her. It is the legacy of love that my

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00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 1: grandmother instilled in me, and also the desire to search.

326
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:33,000
Speaker 1: She always had me understand that the world is full

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Speaker 1: of treasures. Get out there and find them. She instilled

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Speaker 1: that in me at a very young age. And she

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Speaker 1: also instilled in me that I was special. But I

330
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Speaker 1: was her first girl child. You know, I was our

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Speaker 1: first grandchild. Excuse me, I just said, you know, I

332
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:57,520
Speaker 1: was our first grandchild itself. She she really made me

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00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 1: think that I could be and do anything, being the

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00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 1: child of two addicts on one side, and then my

335
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:09,679
Speaker 1: grandmother instilling in me like, no, I'm telling you you

336
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:13,399
Speaker 1: got something, kid, you know what I mean. And so

337
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:18,439
Speaker 1: just being able to hold on to those seeds that

338
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,040
Speaker 1: she put within me, and then of course my mother

339
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,880
Speaker 1: encouraging me along the way to my mother saw some

340
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,480
Speaker 1: really beautiful stuff in me as well, and she's been

341
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,919
Speaker 1: one of my biggest cheerleaders and champions throughout my life.

342
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 2: Absolutely, if your grandmother saw you today, what would she say?

343
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,439
Speaker 1: Oh, my goodness, my grandmother would be so proud of me.

344
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:44,720
Speaker 1: Do it all like with the good and the challenges.

345
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:51,119
Speaker 1: She had a very challenging life, extremely and what she

346
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 1: was able to make out of her life as a immigrant,

347
00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:02,320
Speaker 1: you know, child of two immigrants from Jamaica, she became

348
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,200
Speaker 1: pregnant at thirteen. To this day, we don't know how

349
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 1: that happened. We do believe that it was a mistake

350
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,480
Speaker 1: and it wasn't that she was raped or molested or

351
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,679
Speaker 1: you know, I never got that from her. I always

352
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:20,399
Speaker 1: got that it was her lack of knowledge about sex

353
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:25,040
Speaker 1: that created that circumstance, and she had that baby on

354
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,560
Speaker 1: her own. She was pretty much abandoned, and she was

355
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 1: taken in by a family through a foster, a white

356
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:35,680
Speaker 1: family who she worked for as a maid, and got

357
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:39,199
Speaker 1: herself to Howard University and was able to go to

358
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:43,320
Speaker 1: India as an ambassador. Yeah, she went to India and

359
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 1: came back and my grandfather, who was studying to be

360
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 1: a doctor, asked her to get married. So I think

361
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 1: she would be and is very proud of me with

362
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:55,120
Speaker 1: it all.

363
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 2: I love. That's that's special to feel that that, yes,

364
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,200
Speaker 2: to look back. So Jada, at the start of this book,

365
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:06,480
Speaker 2: you talk about how you were and this broke my heart.

366
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 2: You were talking about how you were planning taking your life,

367
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 2: but then how it could look like an accident. Yeah.

368
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:19,480
Speaker 1: That was twenty eleven. That was my fortieth birthday, my

369
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:20,360
Speaker 1: fortieth year.

370
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 2: Actually, when I was reading that, I was just thinking

371
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 2: to myself. I was like, what were you hoping that

372
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,639
Speaker 2: would achieve Like, what were you hoping that would solve?

373
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 2: Talk us through that?

374
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:34,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny because when you're in those states, you're

375
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:39,280
Speaker 1: not clear. It's not like it's going to make rational sense, right.

376
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 1: You want out of the pain, and you cannot imagine

377
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:49,080
Speaker 1: your only way out is death. You think in your

378
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 1: mind you've tried everything, and you're like, so like, God,

379
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 1: I can't do this. I can't keep doing this, and

380
00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 1: so that's your only solution. And I tell people all

381
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 1: the time, you know, We've had a lot of different

382
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,199
Speaker 1: spotlight of people I've taken their life. People go, I

383
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 1: cannot believe it, and I'm like, you just never know

384
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 1: what somebody's going through. And there are certain people that

385
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 1: have a high tolerance for being able to put on

386
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 1: a good face in order to not burden people. But

387
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 1: what is really interesting is that when you have a plan,

388
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,440
Speaker 1: sometimes that gives you enough energy to just keep going

389
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,399
Speaker 1: because you're like, Okay, I got a good plan, so

390
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 1: if this gets really bad, I know where to go.

391
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: And you're like, Okay, I'm just going to keep trying

392
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 1: to figure this out and keep trying to figure this out.

393
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,919
Speaker 1: But I got this plan and it's really tough because

394
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 1: you don't want to for personalities like myself, you don't

395
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 1: want to burden anybody. And you're like, look, if I

396
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 1: can't figure out how to get out of this, nobody

397
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 1: else is gonna be able to figure this out either.

398
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 1: That was a really, really painful It's a really painful time.

399
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:22,400
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm really grateful that I found a way out,

400
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 1: but I think about people who don't find it, and

401
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:36,879
Speaker 1: I wish, I wish there was like one thing I

402
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:41,199
Speaker 1: could say, one piece of advice, you know, like what

403
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 1: would you tell somebody in a situation like that? And

404
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 1: all I could ever say.

405
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 3: Is please just keep going, keep trying, keep walking, trust

406
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:57,639
Speaker 3: because if you trust, and I know how difficult it.

407
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 1: Is, you know for people who are in it, like

408
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 1: it's easy for you to say, but if you keep trusting,

409
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:09,440
Speaker 1: the universe will open a door. And I know how

410
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:14,879
Speaker 1: hard it is to just wake up and keep it going,

411
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 1: because for me it was hard just waking up in

412
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:23,199
Speaker 1: the morning. If I could get to four o'clock, I

413
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 1: was like, okay, you made it another day, being able

414
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 1: to have enough strength to just get up, get out

415
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:40,719
Speaker 1: of bed, put clothes on, get through your day. And

416
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 1: let no one know that you're struggling. It is so hard.

417
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 1: I feel really blessed. You know, when plant medicine came

418
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 1: my way, it saved my life. And I know that

419
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 1: there's still a lot of whatever around plant medicine. But

420
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you like this, and I'm not

421
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:06,120
Speaker 1: saying that that's for everybody, because my way out was

422
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 1: a rugged four nights and it was just my thoughts,

423
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:17,159
Speaker 1: thoughts about myself. It was just my self hatred. The

424
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 1: level of self hatred you have that I have had

425
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 1: to want to take my own life and I had

426
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 1: to walk four nights to clear up look at be

427
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 1: with that level of self hatred. I was like, you

428
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 1: want to talk about walking through the valley of the

429
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 1: shadow of death that I'm really grateful for that experience

430
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 1: because after that one night, I never thought about suicide again.

431
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 2: After the ceremony.

432
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 1: After the ceremony and it was really my last resort,

433
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, this has been brought my way.

434
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 1: I'm going to try this and it worked. Praise God,

435
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 1: Thank you. That's a really painful place for me still,

436
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 1: and just thinking about how many people are sitting in

437
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 1: that place, it really breaks my heart, trusting God. That's

438
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 1: those moments where I just have to just be like, God,

439
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: these are your children. You will take care and I

440
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 1: pray that God you will provide the door you have

441
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:29,159
Speaker 1: provided for me.

442
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,479
Speaker 2: Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. I want

443
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,480
Speaker 2: to give you a big hug.

444
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: I love you. Thank you. You've been such a wonderful friend.

445
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 1: I really have. You've been by my side through some

446
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 1: really tough stuff, only for more time, only for more

447
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 1: challenges to come along the way.

448
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 2: Never you know, I wouldn't have had the fortune of

449
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 2: getting to meet you, And I'm really glad that you

450
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 2: You know, we're so vulnerable with us just now, because

451
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 2: I really feel like there's more people than we think

452
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:09,480
Speaker 2: that have those thoughts.

453
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 1: Trust and believe it. You trust and believe it. There's people,

454
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 1: there's people that you see every day that you would

455
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 1: never believe. It's so funny to have that level of

456
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 1: strength and that level of vulnerability and just you know,

457
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 1: despair and at the same time that level of like

458
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:37,640
Speaker 1: helplessness that could drive you to do something like that.

459
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 1: But a lot of times we just don't know how

460
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 1: to communicate it. I didn't know how.

461
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 2: I no one knew like the will.

462
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:52,880
Speaker 1: Oh no, and they knew I was very unhappy. That

463
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 1: wasn't a secret, and people didn't understand why either. So

464
00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,479
Speaker 1: let's talk about that for a minute. The shame that

465
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 1: comes with those feelings, and specifically, like everybody feels that

466
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 1: level of shame. I don't care what station of life

467
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 1: you're existing in. And I would say I'm unhappy and

468
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 1: people would look at me like I'm crazy, what are

469
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 1: you unhappy about? And so then I just went in

470
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: even more because I was like, They're right, Look what

471
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 1: you accomplished. You've got this great family, You've got a

472
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 1: great life. You got the house, the car, this and that.

473
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 1: What's your problem? So then that's a hot cup of shame.

474
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 1: So then you just I just shut down.

475
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 2: I couldn't be more excited to share something truly special

476
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 2: with all you tea lovers out there. And even if

477
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 2: you don't love tea, if you love refreshing, rejuvenating, refueling

478
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 2: sodas that are good for you, listen to this RADI

479
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 2: and I poured our hearts into creating Junie Sparkling Tea

480
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 2: with adaptogens for you because we believe in nurturing your

481
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 2: boy and with every sip you'll experience calmness of mind,

482
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 2: a refreshing vitality, and a burst of brightness to your day.

483
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 2: Juni is infused with adaptogens that are amazing natural substances

484
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 2: that act like superheroes for your body to help you

485
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 2: adapt to stress and find balance in your busy life.

486
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 2: Our superfive blend of these powerful ingredients include green tea, ushwaganda,

487
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:28,120
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488
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:31,800
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489
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 2: combat stress, pack your body with antioxidants, and stimulate brain

490
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 2: function even better. Juni has zero sugar and only five

491
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 2: calories per can. We believe in nurturing and energizing your

492
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 2: body while enjoying a truly delicious and refreshing drink. So

493
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 2: visit Drinkjuni dot com today to elevate your wellness journey

494
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:57,240
Speaker 2: and use code on Purpose to receive fifteen percent off

495
00:30:57,520 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 2: your first order. That's drink ja you Andi dot com

496
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 2: and make sure you use the code on Purpose. That's

497
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 2: such a great note to put out there, because I

498
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,160
Speaker 2: think so many times we think like that about maybe

499
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 2: our friends.

500
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 1: Yes, just like you have somebody, you.

501
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 2: Have so much. Yeah, that language can be so.

502
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I would suggest anybody don't say that. Don't

503
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 1: say that to somebody who's saying I'm having a tough time,

504
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 1: I'm struggling. Yeah, this you have that, No, what's going on?

505
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 1: Tell me help me understand.

506
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, as ridiculous as it may sound to you, right

507
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 2: to that person, that thought has been repeated so many times. Absolutely,

508
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 2: even if it seems ridiculous to you.

509
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, it can be so farign I get it. But

510
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: that is somebody trying to step out and talk. So

511
00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: we have to have we have to be receptive. Is

512
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:04,040
Speaker 1: not to look at it, you know, and that is like,

513
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:12,720
Speaker 1: that's tricky too, because really being able to meet somebody

514
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:17,920
Speaker 1: where they are versus trying to meet somebody where you're at,

515
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 1: and that in itself is a skill set. Just being

516
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: able to go, Okay, hold it, what am I missing here?

517
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 1: Let me just take a minute, let me blend with you,

518
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 1: let me join you. I didn't have that, and it's

519
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 1: nobody's fault, you know.

520
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 2: I'm hoping that anyone who thinks anyone in their life

521
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 2: is struggling will share what you just shared with us

522
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 2: with them to start a conversation to open up that

523
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 2: dialogue because I think you just said it now and

524
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 2: it brought a thought to my mind that real love

525
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 2: or real compassion is when you help someone get to

526
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,680
Speaker 2: the next step in their journey. Yeah, not in your journey.

527
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:56,200
Speaker 1: Yeah.

528
00:32:56,800 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 2: And that means being able to be present with them

529
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 2: wherever they are. Yeah. It seems like a foreign, alien

530
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 2: land to you. I really feel like, if anyone has

531
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:12,479
Speaker 2: anyone in their life who's struggling, please send that to them,

532
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 2: Please share that with them, because that they need to

533
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 2: hear it from someone else who's been there. Sometimes also

534
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 2: because if you've not been there, you don't you may

535
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 2: not know how to say. And I think that's the

536
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 2: other thing, right. The other side is one side is

537
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 2: we say, oh, you should be happy, you're fine. The

538
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 2: other side is we try and fix it.

539
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 1: Yeah you can't, right, Yeah you can't, And that solve it.

540
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 1: Can't There is no right you can't solve it. The

541
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 1: best that we can do is, like, you can try

542
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,240
Speaker 1: to meet them where they are and let's get help.

543
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 1: We can do it together and hold hands and get

544
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 1: them to someone professional. I will say, it's really healing

545
00:33:52,760 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 1: when someone can join you. It's also having that boundary

546
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 1: of understanding too that you can only do but so

547
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:08,280
Speaker 1: much as well. A person has to really want help.

548
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 1: And that's why I would tell the person that might

549
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 1: be struggling to just stay open, to try everything.

550
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 2: You know.

551
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 1: I mean, like I tried ever rethinking until I found

552
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 1: the thing, and just keep walking until you find the thing.

553
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 2: That obviously happens a lot later on, even though you

554
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 2: start the book with that, but there was a time

555
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 2: when you believed that Hollywood, having it all, would do it,

556
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 2: would do it, Yeah, even before you get to this point.

557
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:44,359
Speaker 2: And so and also what I find fascinating is you

558
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 2: grew up where like drug dealing was normal. You were

559
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 2: in that scene, you were meeting people. Everyone around you

560
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 2: was in that scene. You weren't as from what I

561
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,479
Speaker 2: gathered from the book, in the time we spent together,

562
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 2: there weren't a lot of people who were breaking that mold.

563
00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:58,239
Speaker 1: Yeah.

564
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 2: No, what was it that made you you a believe

565
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,760
Speaker 2: that you could move to la when you were eighteen

566
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:05,960
Speaker 2: and break that mold and that you didn't have to

567
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 2: fall into the pattern of everyone around you? And at

568
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 2: the same time, secondly, what was it that made you

569
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 2: believe that that would solve it that that was what

570
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 2: was missing.

571
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 1: Thank goodness. Along the way, I had great mentors like

572
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,759
Speaker 1: Donald Hicckin, you know, at Baltimore's School for the Yards.

573
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 1: That was like, Jada, you've got more talent in the

574
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 1: pinky of your your little pinky than most people have

575
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 1: in their whole bodies. You know that He forced me

576
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 1: to go, you know, into that audition for North Carolina

577
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 1: School for the Arts, and that's what got me out

578
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:42,839
Speaker 1: of Baltimore so that I could just get away from

579
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:47,319
Speaker 1: that lifestyle and break that mentality right. And then once

580
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: I got immersed again into my arts, I was like, wow,

581
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 1: I really love this. And once I click into something

582
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,399
Speaker 1: like my mind goes perro, you know what I mean.

583
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,680
Speaker 1: And then Pop came to La. Well, he wasn't in La.

584
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 1: He was in northern California, and Pot kept saying, you

585
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 1: gotta get out here. Is popping, you know what I mean.

586
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 1: And now he's like, you gotta come out here and visit,

587
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 1: and so I was like, all right, I'm going to

588
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 1: get out there. Pop was another one too that was

589
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:21,440
Speaker 1: just like you got it, Jada, you got it, And

590
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:26,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, I'm coming. So I told my mom.

591
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 1: I was like, you got two choices, cause I still

592
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 1: wasn't quite sure yet.

593
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 2: You know.

594
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 1: I was like, I could go to LA and see

595
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:39,320
Speaker 1: if I can do this Hollywood thing, or I could

596
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 1: become a lawyer and take all my dramatics to the

597
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:47,359
Speaker 1: cart right into the cartouse. And she said, We're going

598
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 1: to La.

599
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 2: Wow.

600
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,479
Speaker 1: Once I got to La, I was like, you're here,

601
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 1: make it happen. And part of what made me think

602
00:36:56,719 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 1: that I could do it wasn't just about talent, but

603
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 1: was just my perseverance and just my go I'm a

604
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 1: pitbull when it comes to when I want something, you know,

605
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:13,280
Speaker 1: especially in my youth. I'm not so much pitful anymore,

606
00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:17,920
Speaker 1: but in my youth. You know, once I put my

607
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 1: mind to something, I was like, go get it. And

608
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:25,080
Speaker 1: I really felt like how everybody else feels, you know, like, yo,

609
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 1: once I make it, once I'm rich and famous, all

610
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 1: my problems are gonna be solved, you know what I mean.

611
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,120
Speaker 1: My problems are gonna be solved, My mom's problems are

612
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 1: gonna be solved. You know, everybody's probably gonna be solved.

613
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,759
Speaker 1: I got this, you know what I'm saying. So and

614
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 1: that was a trip because that wasn't the case. And

615
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:47,279
Speaker 1: I think that that's still prevalent. People feel like once

616
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:50,759
Speaker 1: you get to a certain level of success, you are

617
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:57,359
Speaker 1: exempt from the human experience, you are exempt from the

618
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 1: human condition. And the truth is that is not the case.

619
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 1: And let me tell you. I had an existential drop

620
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 1: in realizing hold it, wait a minute, hold it, Like

621
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 1: my career is popping. I got money, I'm hot, I

622
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:26,839
Speaker 1: got every dude everywhere wanting to you know what I mean?

623
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 1: Like I can have anybody I want. Why am I

624
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 1: not happy?

625
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:33,919
Speaker 2: God?

626
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:38,719
Speaker 1: Now, this wasn't This wasn't the plan. I couldn't believe it,

627
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 1: because that was the whole idea. You make it, you

628
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 1: pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, you make it

629
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 1: in life's great and thank goodness. At that particular point

630
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 1: in time, I had pac that I could go, like

631
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,359
Speaker 1: we could share that together because he was going through

632
00:38:56,400 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 1: the same existential disappointment. He thought this same thing. That

633
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:04,960
Speaker 1: was like the beginning of just like, wait a minute, then,

634
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:06,760
Speaker 1: if it's not this, then what is it.

635
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:08,920
Speaker 2: It's incredible that you had a support a friend in

636
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,400
Speaker 2: in Tupac. You had this amazing friend who is saying

637
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:15,080
Speaker 2: you've got this you're talented and that can really help. Yeah.

638
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:18,440
Speaker 2: And at the same time, there's a whole nother inner journey. Yeah,

639
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 2: that has to happen with it. So that was externally,

640
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 2: it was empowering, it was inspiring. It was great to

641
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 2: have someone believe in you and we don't need that.

642
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:26,479
Speaker 1: Yeah.

643
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:28,600
Speaker 2: And at the same time, it was like this other

644
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 2: reminder of.

645
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:33,400
Speaker 1: The inner world was not together yeah at all and

646
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:37,040
Speaker 1: being completely ignored, you know. And it would take me

647
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 1: years to realize that that, Oh no, it's not just

648
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:42,799
Speaker 1: about what's happening on the outside, Jada, But if your

649
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: inner world is not your foundation, it's all sand castles,

650
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:50,759
Speaker 1: you know. I had a nervous breakdown. Then I moved

651
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,400
Speaker 1: to Baltimore. I get a farmhouse there and I'm like, okay,

652
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna get out of La. So I'm making

653
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,839
Speaker 1: a geographical move, like I just got to get back

654
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 1: to my roots, get back to my roots. And then

655
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 1: Will comes along and I'm like, maybe that's it. I

656
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 1: need a man you know that is like latch onto that.

657
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, that's my new prozac. Will. You know,

658
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 1: He's gonna now it's his job to make my life better.

659
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:25,840
Speaker 1: That doesn't work either, So the egos just attached to

660
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 1: all these different exterior things until eventually, you know, I

661
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 1: had to crash into really having to look at the

662
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 1: shambles of my inner world and rebuild it and rebuild it.

663
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:41,839
Speaker 1: And I say rebuild it because I feel like when

664
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:46,000
Speaker 1: we're born, that inner world is intact. But I had

665
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: to really strip it all down jay to the bear bones,

666
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 1: the bolts, and just start inwardly from the bottom and

667
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:03,319
Speaker 1: just build. And it's been a wild ride. It's been

668
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 1: a wild ride of what that means and what that

669
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:07,480
Speaker 1: looks like.

670
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,840
Speaker 2: When it comes to your friendship with Tupac, which you

671
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 2: speak about so beautifully in the book, and it's so

672
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,799
Speaker 2: wonderful because we get an insight into him in a

673
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 2: way that you don't as just a fan of the music, right,

674
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:24,360
Speaker 2: so as someone who grew up listening to him myself.

675
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:28,040
Speaker 2: It's like you get a certain perception of someone who's

676
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 2: intelligent but then also has this gangster lifestyle and persona,

677
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 2: et cetera. But then again, when you get context and

678
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 2: you get to know about someone through someone who actually

679
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 2: knows them, right, And what I really appreciate, which I

680
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:46,000
Speaker 2: found fascinating, was just how you had the wisdom at

681
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:50,600
Speaker 2: that time to know that someone would be a special

682
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 2: friend without being romantic with them. Yeah, for us about it,

683
00:41:56,960 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 2: because I feel like a lot of people struggle. Yeah,

684
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 2: he was obviously into you and when you first met,

685
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 2: et cetera, the way you describe it, but it's like,

686
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 2: and there's even one point where you dare him to yeah, yeah,

687
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 2: And I want you to tell that. But but what

688
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:14,359
Speaker 2: I find fascinating and what I want to help people

689
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:16,760
Speaker 2: with here is like, how were you able to create

690
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 2: and build a relationship with someone knowing initially that it

691
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 2: was based on some attraction, right, but actually you knew

692
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 2: there was so much more to it. How were you

693
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 2: able to allow that to unfold? Because I think so

694
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 2: many of us get so scared if we're not into someone,

695
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:33,320
Speaker 2: we go, Okay, I'm just going to push them away,

696
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:36,800
Speaker 2: or that person eventually tries to make a move anyway.

697
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:40,319
Speaker 2: But here it was like this beautiful respect. This you

698
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:41,400
Speaker 2: both created that.

699
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, we both did. We both had the intelligence. You know,

700
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:49,239
Speaker 1: we were both really young, So I think I think

701
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:53,440
Speaker 1: the Great Supreme for this too. That there was no

702
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 1: physical chemistry between us. I mean literally, it was like

703
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 1: and I try to explain this to people. It was

704
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 1: the same for Pac. It was just like when I

705
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:10,319
Speaker 1: dared him to kiss me, he was I mean, it

706
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:15,799
Speaker 1: was like ill for us both right, And it was like,

707
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:19,680
Speaker 1: how can that be? How can you feel so connected

708
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: to someone of the opposite sex. There was just this

709
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,319
Speaker 1: beautiful understanding, you know when you can just sit with

710
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,480
Speaker 1: somebody in the room and you don't have to say

711
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:32,520
Speaker 1: a word and there's just this level of comfort. We

712
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:36,960
Speaker 1: just knew each other. The moment Pac saw me and

713
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:39,320
Speaker 1: our eyes and I saw his peanut head across the

714
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 1: room at Baltimore School for the Arts, it was like

715
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 1: I knew him already. We just got each other. I

716
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:50,320
Speaker 1: just understood him in that understanding, and he understood me.

717
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 1: So we could pull each other's coattails, but we could

718
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 1: also join each other. When I talk about that joining,

719
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 1: when you can sit with somebody and really feel like

720
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 1: they see you, they understand you, they care about you,

721
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 1: and they're gonna be there by you no matter what.

722
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 1: That was Tupac. He was gonna ride with me no

723
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 1: matter what. He was so authentic, and it's rare that

724
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:20,399
Speaker 1: that level of authenticity, and he was so he had

725
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 1: wore his hard on the sleeve, and there was just

726
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:25,880
Speaker 1: this amount of loyalty between us, and I think also

727
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:31,640
Speaker 1: the fact that we both struggled with mothers who were addicts,

728
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:36,799
Speaker 1: and we tried to compensate for one another of not

729
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 1: having that peace, and we didn't boohoo about it. We

730
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 1: understood how to fill in the voids without getting all

731
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:51,279
Speaker 1: hallmarky about it.

732
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:55,279
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.

733
00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 1: And so it was so we just kind of knew

734
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,400
Speaker 1: how to flow with each other in a way way

735
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 1: that was very comfortable. Yeah, it's always hard to kind

736
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 1: of explain because it was like, it's almost like he

737
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 1: was really a kindred That's the only way I could

738
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 1: really explain it. And I feel so lucky and so

739
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:18,879
Speaker 1: blessed that I got to know a being like himself

740
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:23,280
Speaker 1: in that way because he was such a dynamic person.

741
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:27,359
Speaker 1: But you can feel it because his music is still

742
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 1: lasting for generations now, absolutely, you know. So he was

743
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 1: just a treasure.

744
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 2: Teach us what's the difference between sexual chemistry and energetic

745
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:42,280
Speaker 2: connection or authentic connection, because I think we often think

746
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 2: that to get close to someone you need that, and

747
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:49,759
Speaker 2: here it's not just about the fact that there wasn't

748
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:53,400
Speaker 2: attraction or there's more to it in that. I feel

749
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 2: like there's a subtle difference in how you were able

750
00:45:56,640 --> 00:46:00,279
Speaker 2: to accept that there is an authentic connection. But it

751
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 2: doesn't have to include it doesn't physical chemistry in order

752
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:07,919
Speaker 2: to have a deep energetic connection, If that makes sense,

753
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:08,359
Speaker 2: is it?

754
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:12,400
Speaker 1: I actually think in my experience some of the deepest

755
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:20,879
Speaker 1: connections that I've had with men have not included sex whatsoever, right,

756
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:28,600
Speaker 1: And I think that sex sometimes can cloud things. A

757
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:32,200
Speaker 1: lot of things come in that a lot of people

758
00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:36,359
Speaker 1: don't understand, so you know, whether it's like certain levels

759
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:41,800
Speaker 1: of emotional trauma, all these kinds of things. Energetically, the

760
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:45,719
Speaker 1: heart to heart spirit space has a level of purity

761
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:49,919
Speaker 1: to it where even if things get difficult, like when

762
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 1: things would get challenging with Pocinae, we could get to

763
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:59,040
Speaker 1: it fast and there's just a level of purity and

764
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 1: it's not a tack to I want to make things

765
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:06,360
Speaker 1: right with you so I can sleep with you. You

766
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:10,320
Speaker 1: know what, It's not that agenda. The agendas are pure.

767
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:14,160
Speaker 1: They're more pure and it has more space. It's like,

768
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,359
Speaker 1: I love you, but you got to live your life.

769
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 2: I can I can be.

770
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 1: Truthful, I can be honest. I think that with us,

771
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 1: I could be more of myself because one thing I

772
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 1: knew about Pac I never had to worry about, you know,

773
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 1: when we had big blow ups, which we did all

774
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:39,719
Speaker 1: the time, he's coming back. I never worried about that.

775
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 1: I'm never worried. Oh my god, No, listen, what.

776
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:46,720
Speaker 2: It's a year?

777
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:50,640
Speaker 1: What it's a year, a week, three days. I had

778
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:53,680
Speaker 1: to love all that Pac was. He loved all that

779
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:57,360
Speaker 1: I was, the good and the bad, and he was

780
00:47:57,360 --> 00:47:59,879
Speaker 1: going to be right there with that and vice versa.

781
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 1: That was one of the most beautiful aspects of our relationship.

782
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:05,399
Speaker 1: We didn't have to fake it, we didn't have to

783
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:08,240
Speaker 1: pretend to be other things, and we could be honest.

784
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:10,880
Speaker 1: He could pull my coattails, I could pull his coattails.

785
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 1: I could give him all the praise and love on

786
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:17,560
Speaker 1: him all I wanted to and not have to worry about, Oh, oh,

787
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 1: now we're gonna have to have sex, you know, like

788
00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:23,240
Speaker 1: none of that, because that wasn't happening. We just didn't

789
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:27,920
Speaker 1: have We just didn't have it. I think if Pac

790
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 1: had survived Vegas, he and Will would have ended up

791
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 1: being really good friends. You know, they would have had

792
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 1: a lot to offer one another. And funny enough, Will

793
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:46,319
Speaker 1: was the only person when I started dating him. Pac

794
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 1: never said anything. If I dated anybody else, Pack had

795
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:53,439
Speaker 1: had something to say. He didn't think anybody was good enough,

796
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:57,279
Speaker 1: which I understand, right, But when I started dating Will,

797
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 1: he didn't say anything which meant to me in his

798
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:06,800
Speaker 1: own way he approved, right, right, He didn't say anything.

799
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 1: It was was like okay, a not a word which

800
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 1: made me believe he approved.

801
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:16,840
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I think it's it's so beautiful to reflect

802
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:18,879
Speaker 2: on that friendship because I think it's so hope giving.

803
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:22,719
Speaker 2: There's so many people who you know, sometimes lose out

804
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,160
Speaker 2: on those kind of relationships because we don't see where

805
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 2: else it can go. Oh, there's so much value. There's

806
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 2: so much value to that. And there's the you know,

807
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 2: the part of the book where you talk about how

808
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 2: you never got to be there when Vegas happened, Like

809
00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:41,480
Speaker 2: you weren't there, You hadn't talked for a year. I

810
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:41,960
Speaker 2: think at the.

811
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 1: Time, big, Yeah, we had a big blow up.

812
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 2: What would you have said to him, or what would

813
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 2: you say to him? Or what what? What did you

814
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:50,359
Speaker 2: want him to know? Or what were you so sure

815
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:52,880
Speaker 2: that he already knew? And you're thinking to yourself, I

816
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,480
Speaker 2: just wanted to remind him of this, what would that be?

817
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 1: I didn't have to remind him of anything. He knew

818
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:03,640
Speaker 1: it pak, I adored him. I have no doubt in

819
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 1: my mind that he left this world knowing that. Yeah,

820
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 1: that's never been the issue for me. We did that

821
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:18,359
Speaker 1: dance a lot. Sometimes have blow ups, and we're both

822
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 1: very stubborn, and I'll let people read the book to

823
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:25,839
Speaker 1: that blow up and what led to that. But I

824
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:32,360
Speaker 1: think sometimes what sometimes still hurts is that me feeling

825
00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 1: like maybe I couldn't do enough once he left, Like

826
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 1: I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what would pack

827
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 1: have done? Like if it had been me in a

828
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:47,239
Speaker 1: car in Vegas and got you know, he would have

829
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 1: read Tavoc. So that ego sometimes comes into play, like

830
00:50:54,280 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 1: just feeling so helpless that he was taken in that

831
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:04,439
Speaker 1: way and there was nothing I could do. To this

832
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:07,799
Speaker 1: day that gnaws at me.

833
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 2: You know, for what it's worth, I really believe that

834
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 2: the way you write, and by the way everyone who's

835
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 2: listening and watching, there is so much more to unpack

836
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 2: in the book, which I highly recommend you read as

837
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 2: you're going through it, and you'll come to this part.

838
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:24,400
Speaker 2: But I really believe that the way you honor and

839
00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:27,920
Speaker 2: appreciate and respect your dear friend in the book is

840
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 2: really beautiful and special and it's like it's hard to

841
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 2: describe as well, but it's a really wonderful lens into

842
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:39,200
Speaker 2: a human is so, you know, larger than life in

843
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 2: so many ways.

844
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 1: And I wanted to also kind of there's been so

845
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:46,319
Speaker 1: many misconceptions about our relationship because people are like, you know,

846
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:49,480
Speaker 1: have a difficult time understanding that he and I could

847
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:53,360
Speaker 1: actually be friends. But just wanted to give people such

848
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 1: just an insight on, you know, the beauty of our

849
00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 1: friendship that I just cherish to this day so very much,

850
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:04,080
Speaker 1: you know. And I wanted to give people a different

851
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 1: outlook just of who he was. And I'll say who

852
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:13,040
Speaker 1: he is because he still exists so quick, you know,

853
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:15,640
Speaker 1: but so I really wanted that to come across.

854
00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:18,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, Well, we got to understand him, I think

855
00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 2: through you through the perspective of not a rapper, not

856
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:26,360
Speaker 2: a icon', not a but a human and a friend

857
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:28,319
Speaker 2: and like what he was like as a friend. And

858
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:31,880
Speaker 2: I think that that's a very intimate way to know

859
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:35,120
Speaker 2: about someone. So I love that I wanted to talk

860
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:37,520
Speaker 2: to you about you. You mentioned there you were like

861
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:40,359
Speaker 2: Will was the only person that Puck didn't tu Puk

862
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:43,520
Speaker 2: didn't have an issue. And I love that, and you

863
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:45,440
Speaker 2: know how much I mean, you know, I've always been

864
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:48,000
Speaker 2: open about it, and we've talked about it, and I

865
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:52,840
Speaker 2: met Will through you, and it's like I I've always

866
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:56,800
Speaker 2: said that when I met you and the whole family,

867
00:52:57,200 --> 00:53:00,200
Speaker 2: and when I met him, you were everything in more

868
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,440
Speaker 2: all of you are everything and more right. And what

869
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:05,759
Speaker 2: I mean by that is everything i'd wanted you to be,

870
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:10,320
Speaker 2: plus so much more right. And he's that too in

871
00:53:10,680 --> 00:53:15,320
Speaker 2: so many ways. And I think that it's really interesting

872
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:16,920
Speaker 2: because when you're talking about in the book of like,

873
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 2: I love the conversation you refer to, and you're like

874
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:22,920
Speaker 2: your mom's like, you know, get him off the phone.

875
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:26,760
Speaker 1: That's one of her moments, Yes, exactly.

876
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:28,839
Speaker 2: But what I love about it the most is that

877
00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:31,640
Speaker 2: it is true that from the outside, as you set

878
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:34,000
Speaker 2: it up, it looks like a fairy tale and it

879
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:37,319
Speaker 2: felt like that. And what I find really fascinating about this,

880
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 2: again and again and again pretty much with everyone, is

881
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:45,840
Speaker 2: that there is no fairy tale love anyway on planet

882
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:49,439
Speaker 2: on the planet, and you know, in our own little way.

883
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:51,359
Speaker 2: I always talk about this with me and Radi too.

884
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:54,759
Speaker 2: It's like we'll do an interview together where Radi will

885
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:56,560
Speaker 2: tell me all the challenges she has with me, and

886
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:58,360
Speaker 2: she'll be crying and upset, and then everyone in the

887
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 2: comments will still be like, you guys are saying so cute. No, no, no,

888
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:04,200
Speaker 2: But we're not trying to say we're cute. Like this

889
00:54:04,239 --> 00:54:07,319
Speaker 2: is like real issue, like real stuff that you know,

890
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:08,920
Speaker 2: we've talked about it obviously, you spend a ton of

891
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:11,719
Speaker 2: time in me and Radi, and so I think for me,

892
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 2: what's really interesting is that, yes, from the outside, when

893
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 2: you see two incredible actors, performers, artists, talent get together,

894
00:54:18,239 --> 00:54:24,160
Speaker 2: you're like, wow, powerhouse couple. Everyone projects their expectations. You

895
00:54:24,239 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 2: have beautiful, adorable kids, you know, like Jaden's acting and

896
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 2: he's like the cutest thing in the world, and Willow too,

897
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:34,400
Speaker 2: And it's like it's so interesting because we also we

898
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:38,400
Speaker 2: like to build up our dreams in people, and we

899
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:42,160
Speaker 2: like to project our dreams onto people because I think

900
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:46,560
Speaker 2: as viewers it makes us believe that it's possible, and

901
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:49,400
Speaker 2: we live through people and we aspire for it not

902
00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:51,400
Speaker 2: that we aspire for the success and the fame, but

903
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:53,600
Speaker 2: that we aspire for the like, well, if they can

904
00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:55,279
Speaker 2: get it right, then I can get it right. And

905
00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:58,680
Speaker 2: it's not it's an innocent, absolute belief that we all have.

906
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:01,359
Speaker 2: It's not a we we all have that inside of us,

907
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 2: So we all have this. I know that I had that,

908
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:06,480
Speaker 2: like you know, I was searched it the other day

909
00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 2: and it's a term, it's Disney princess syndrome. And I

910
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:13,080
Speaker 2: was like, I've had Disney princess syndrome like myself, like

911
00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 2: a ton of times, and it's so fascinating to be

912
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 2: for anyone who doesn't get the reference. The point is

913
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 2: that every Disney princess is always looking for her princes.

914
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:24,520
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, And I would say regardless of gender, that's true.

915
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:26,799
Speaker 2: Like I feel that way where I've been looking for

916
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:31,240
Speaker 2: my princess or my win or my award or whatever

917
00:55:31,239 --> 00:55:36,120
Speaker 2: it may be. And I wanted you to walk us through,

918
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 2: like what were the stages and how would you define

919
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:40,880
Speaker 2: the stages as you do in this book, your stages

920
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:44,760
Speaker 2: of your relationship with Will, because I feel that that's

921
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:48,640
Speaker 2: the part that people get blurry because they're looking at

922
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:51,279
Speaker 2: it through their lens. But you both have been so

923
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:55,840
Speaker 2: clear about stages of your relationship internally, which I actually

924
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,239
Speaker 2: think is the hardest part. And so how would you

925
00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:01,560
Speaker 2: define the stages of your partnership? Will that help people

926
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:05,640
Speaker 2: understand like the conversations that you're having behind the scenes,

927
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:08,239
Speaker 2: from like being madly in love to you know.

928
00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:13,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, wo the stages of getting to the most authentic

929
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:18,960
Speaker 1: and it's difficult. So I just want to honor that

930
00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:25,800
Speaker 1: for a second. Like it's almost like talking about relationships

931
00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:33,160
Speaker 1: and the romanticism around the idea of relating is sometimes

932
00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:39,799
Speaker 1: as detrimental as talking about politics and God because it's

933
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:45,319
Speaker 1: such a staple in how people look at marriage and

934
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:51,520
Speaker 1: relating culturally right, and all of the romanticism around it.

935
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:57,880
Speaker 1: And Will and I have been what I would consider

936
00:56:58,320 --> 00:57:05,520
Speaker 1: kind of the relationship goals, this romanticized version. I had

937
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:14,040
Speaker 1: to in my own relationship with Will dissolve my romanticism

938
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:19,840
Speaker 1: around what I thought marriage would be should be. And honestly,

939
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:24,400
Speaker 1: we really never had what I would consider the ideal

940
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:27,840
Speaker 1: honeymoon stage, you know, even though you do have the

941
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:34,240
Speaker 1: honeymoon stage. But our relationship started with some challenges, you know,

942
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:39,160
Speaker 1: because he was divorcing, and then our life just took

943
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:44,280
Speaker 1: off like a rocket ship. We just took on this

944
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:49,800
Speaker 1: huge life in our early twenties, and where his focus

945
00:57:49,920 --> 00:57:52,920
Speaker 1: was really about, Hey, I want to be the biggest

946
00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:57,720
Speaker 1: movie star in the world. And I knew that going

947
00:57:57,840 --> 00:58:01,640
Speaker 1: into our relationship, and I knew there would be sacrifices

948
00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:04,960
Speaker 1: with that, and then along the way, and I talk

949
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:07,600
Speaker 1: about this in the book, just having those different perspectives

950
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 1: and really trying to figure out how to reconcile those

951
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:15,880
Speaker 1: different perspectives and also deal with a lot of challenges.

952
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:18,280
Speaker 1: So I think one of the things that I address

953
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:21,080
Speaker 1: in the book in regards to, you know, people thinking

954
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:24,919
Speaker 1: that we've had an open marriage and we haven't had

955
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:32,560
Speaker 1: an open marriage. I talk about starting off pretty much

956
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:40,440
Speaker 1: early on in our marriage of having the need for transparency.

957
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:45,400
Speaker 1: And that is a big difference between hey, you can

958
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:49,320
Speaker 1: do whatever you want, you know, versus like, hey, here

959
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:54,400
Speaker 1: we are very young people in this place called Hollywood

960
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:58,240
Speaker 1: that has a lot of temptation. Let's have a partnership

961
00:58:58,240 --> 00:59:02,040
Speaker 1: around this. Let's be very very realistic of what this

962
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:05,000
Speaker 1: life is. If we're talking about we're going to be

963
00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:10,320
Speaker 1: together forever and ever and ever, that means there's gonna

964
00:59:10,320 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 1: be some temptations that come up. Let's be in partnership

965
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:16,240
Speaker 1: and let's talk about that. I didn't go into my

966
00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:22,240
Speaker 1: marriage like I am going to be my husband is

967
00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:24,840
Speaker 1: never ever ever going to look at anybody else.

968
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 2: Like I.

969
00:59:27,520 --> 00:59:31,520
Speaker 1: Just I am just a realist in a lot of ways.

970
00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 1: I know what it's been like for me right when

971
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 1: I first came to Hollywood and I could go into

972
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 1: the clubs and have anybody just the level of just

973
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:51,960
Speaker 1: like that, just like it's just like you just it's

974
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:56,560
Speaker 1: so intoxicating. That's one. Now, what I do believe that

975
00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:00,200
Speaker 1: what people don't know that I talk about in the

976
01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:03,520
Speaker 1: book a lot is that there have been several breakups

977
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:08,440
Speaker 1: between Will and I. Will talks about it my fortieth birthday,

978
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:11,640
Speaker 1: which was a big breakup for us. We were actually

979
01:00:12,480 --> 01:00:18,160
Speaker 1: looking towards separating and divorcing, and we separated. The world

980
01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:22,720
Speaker 1: just didn't know. Then we had a reconciliation, and then

981
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:26,840
Speaker 1: twenty sixteen came and we had the ultimate break but

982
01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:31,520
Speaker 1: the world didn't know. And I think that that's where

983
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:35,600
Speaker 1: some of the misconception about having an open marriage came

984
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:39,800
Speaker 1: into play, because we were living lives as single people

985
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:43,520
Speaker 1: and the world didn't know. Over the span of twelve

986
01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:47,080
Speaker 1: years of just trying to figure out this thing called

987
01:00:47,200 --> 01:00:50,400
Speaker 1: love and marriage between Will and I, it's been a trip.

988
01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:54,880
Speaker 1: And I think that even with that entanglement piece, which

989
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:59,240
Speaker 1: I talk about extensively in the book, how I played

990
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:03,520
Speaker 1: a part in the conception of that narrative of allowing

991
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:08,640
Speaker 1: myself to be portrayed as an adulteress, allowing myself to

992
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:12,720
Speaker 1: be portrayed as someone that had betrayed Will, and that

993
01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:16,800
Speaker 1: wasn't the case. We broke up in twenty sixteen. He

994
01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:18,840
Speaker 1: went on to live a life as a single man.

995
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:20,920
Speaker 1: I went on to live a life as a single woman.

996
01:01:21,360 --> 01:01:23,920
Speaker 1: And then when we had the talk at the Red Table,

997
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:26,160
Speaker 1: I was going to go to the Red Table by

998
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:32,680
Speaker 1: myself to talk about the entanglement, but Will decided he

999
01:01:32,720 --> 01:01:36,280
Speaker 1: wanted to come with me, and we were going to

1000
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:39,360
Speaker 1: then tell the world, Hey, we haven't been together, and

1001
01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:42,520
Speaker 1: this happened during that time. Well, when we got to

1002
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:48,160
Speaker 1: the table, Will wasn't ready. He wasn't ready, He wasn't

1003
01:01:48,240 --> 01:01:51,760
Speaker 1: ready for the world to know that. I had to

1004
01:01:51,760 --> 01:01:54,160
Speaker 1: respect that. Well, I didn't have to, but I wanted to,

1005
01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:59,560
Speaker 1: But I was ready. I was ready to let go

1006
01:01:59,840 --> 01:02:03,960
Speaker 1: of the persona I had created around myself that had

1007
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:08,240
Speaker 1: put me in a golden cage. I wanted to let

1008
01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:10,920
Speaker 1: that go, and so I had to stay on my journey.

1009
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:14,640
Speaker 1: I had to stay on my path while also respecting

1010
01:02:15,600 --> 01:02:17,880
Speaker 1: that will wasn't ready. So I said, you know what,

1011
01:02:19,440 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 1: this is my mess anyway, I'm going to take this

1012
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:27,800
Speaker 1: heat because guess what. The heat is coming either way,

1013
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:30,400
Speaker 1: whether when we decide to get divorced, when we decided

1014
01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:35,920
Speaker 1: to separate, whatever, whatever, this is my practice. Run strip

1015
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:40,120
Speaker 1: it down, let it go, Jada, and then let's see

1016
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:45,040
Speaker 1: what's left. I didn't have to put that particular show out,

1017
01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 1: but I had already gotten myself so ready for that

1018
01:02:50,080 --> 01:02:54,400
Speaker 1: journey for myself and to me, that was moving closer

1019
01:02:54,480 --> 01:03:01,960
Speaker 1: to my freedom than holding back and creating a narrative

1020
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 1: that I felt like was just going to entrap me

1021
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:07,480
Speaker 1: more and as difficult as it's been, because the irony is,

1022
01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:12,720
Speaker 1: I spent so much of our relationship having this open

1023
01:03:12,720 --> 01:03:16,520
Speaker 1: communication between the between he and I, creating this beautiful

1024
01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:26,360
Speaker 1: friendship of authenticity and honesty, and so to be labeled

1025
01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:30,400
Speaker 1: as someone who had cheated on him was devastating, But

1026
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:37,400
Speaker 1: it also put me in a position where I had

1027
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:43,040
Speaker 1: to learn how to let go of what anybody thought

1028
01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:46,840
Speaker 1: about me and really be ten toes down on understanding

1029
01:03:46,960 --> 01:03:51,680
Speaker 1: who I am and being able to walk in that

1030
01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:55,800
Speaker 1: no matter what anybody thought about me. But I needed

1031
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:57,040
Speaker 1: that journey for myself.

1032
01:03:58,640 --> 01:03:58,880
Speaker 2: You know.

1033
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:01,800
Speaker 1: It's kind of like that is the walk when they

1034
01:04:01,840 --> 01:04:05,520
Speaker 1: talk about walking on hot coals. It's like creating that

1035
01:04:05,680 --> 01:04:08,320
Speaker 1: level of when we talk about that inner world work

1036
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:14,000
Speaker 1: and creating that like strong foundation within yourself of knowing

1037
01:04:14,160 --> 01:04:18,120
Speaker 1: exactly who you are no matter what other people think

1038
01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:21,320
Speaker 1: about you. I mean, I've gotten that to a certain degree.

1039
01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 1: And so that was a very challenging moment, and I

1040
01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:30,080
Speaker 1: talk about it in the book because I feel like

1041
01:04:31,160 --> 01:04:34,480
Speaker 1: so many people are challenged in that way of like

1042
01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:39,520
Speaker 1: how can I just walk in this world and be

1043
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:43,280
Speaker 1: okay with myself no matter what? And I talk about

1044
01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:48,040
Speaker 1: the journey, you know, really extensively in the book. But

1045
01:04:48,080 --> 01:04:53,720
Speaker 1: there have been so many misconceptions about my relationship with Will.

1046
01:04:54,240 --> 01:04:59,040
Speaker 1: But I think that everybody suffers misconceptions. Once again, whether

1047
01:04:59,160 --> 01:05:03,080
Speaker 1: you're head of that PTA and your husband's that doctor,

1048
01:05:03,560 --> 01:05:07,440
Speaker 1: and you're the lawyer, you know what I mean, You're

1049
01:05:07,680 --> 01:05:10,760
Speaker 1: you're like the Crume Delo Crame of your friend group

1050
01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:14,560
Speaker 1: or you know, of your community, and so everybody's expecting

1051
01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:19,480
Speaker 1: you to have a certain kind of marriage. And marriage

1052
01:05:19,520 --> 01:05:23,240
Speaker 1: is a journey, you know, And it's a journey towards

1053
01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:28,120
Speaker 1: learning how to love yourself and learning how to love

1054
01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:33,160
Speaker 1: your partner. And there's not one way to do it.

1055
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:37,160
Speaker 1: And everybody, I think we do that journey a real

1056
01:05:37,240 --> 01:05:41,360
Speaker 1: disservice of trying to make it this cookie cut thing

1057
01:05:41,720 --> 01:05:44,240
Speaker 1: like no, no, no, you can only do it this way.

1058
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:49,360
Speaker 1: And it's like each and every person in their relationship

1059
01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:52,560
Speaker 1: they have to look at what their relationship is calling

1060
01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:58,440
Speaker 1: for in regards to what is needed to get your

1061
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:06,000
Speaker 1: marriage to the love, to the strength, to the understanding,

1062
01:06:07,080 --> 01:06:11,480
Speaker 1: to the friendship and to that unconditional place. And the

1063
01:06:11,560 --> 01:06:14,040
Speaker 1: unfortunate part is that we think once we get married,

1064
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:16,680
Speaker 1: like somebody's ready made, they know how to love you,

1065
01:06:16,760 --> 01:06:20,040
Speaker 1: even though they don't know how to love themselves. They

1066
01:06:20,040 --> 01:06:22,160
Speaker 1: don't know they don't know how to love themselves. But

1067
01:06:22,280 --> 01:06:23,600
Speaker 1: you better know how to love me.

1068
01:06:24,800 --> 01:06:29,720
Speaker 2: I want to highlight because I think it's often it

1069
01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:31,880
Speaker 2: can be missed. At least, is you know when you

1070
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:34,800
Speaker 2: had that conversation on Red Table Talk. It would have

1071
01:06:34,840 --> 01:06:38,520
Speaker 2: been so easy to not have that conversation publicly because

1072
01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:42,080
Speaker 2: people would have their rumors. Yeah, it would blow over

1073
01:06:42,480 --> 01:06:46,080
Speaker 2: and then it would be over. And I'm only raising

1074
01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:49,280
Speaker 2: this because I know how much for you it was

1075
01:06:49,320 --> 01:06:51,800
Speaker 2: part of the work you were doing. Yeah, And that's

1076
01:06:51,800 --> 01:06:54,320
Speaker 2: why I'm raising this because I think what's really interesting

1077
01:06:54,440 --> 01:06:58,160
Speaker 2: is that when someone's trying to do deep in a

1078
01:06:58,320 --> 01:07:03,280
Speaker 2: healing work. Yeah, actually, more often than not, their external

1079
01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:05,560
Speaker 2: way will not make sense.

1080
01:07:05,640 --> 01:07:07,120
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, first, because it.

1081
01:07:07,160 --> 01:07:12,520
Speaker 2: Literally looks like you're setting yourself up to fail. Because

1082
01:07:12,560 --> 01:07:17,040
Speaker 2: when you're really trying to dismantle the ego or you're

1083
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:22,640
Speaker 2: really trying to deconstruct the false identities that we all

1084
01:07:22,640 --> 01:07:25,480
Speaker 2: build up me included all of us. Like when when

1085
01:07:25,480 --> 01:07:28,040
Speaker 2: that is there and it's being deconstructed, someone would look

1086
01:07:28,080 --> 01:07:29,640
Speaker 2: at you and be like why would you do that?

1087
01:07:29,680 --> 01:07:32,440
Speaker 2: Like why do I need to know what? And really

1088
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:34,680
Speaker 2: I just want to highlight and I want you to

1089
01:07:34,720 --> 01:07:38,880
Speaker 2: share about that that the intention was healing. The intention

1090
01:07:39,160 --> 01:07:41,480
Speaker 2: wasn't to save face or the intention and I know

1091
01:07:41,520 --> 01:07:45,280
Speaker 2: this because we were talking about it. The intention wasn't It.

1092
01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:48,040
Speaker 1: Wasn't to save face, and it surely wasn't. And I

1093
01:07:48,080 --> 01:07:50,480
Speaker 1: need people to know I didn't ask Bill to come

1094
01:07:50,520 --> 01:07:54,800
Speaker 1: to the table. Yeah, that was not my idea. Will

1095
01:07:54,840 --> 01:07:56,800
Speaker 1: wanted to come to the table because he didn't want

1096
01:07:56,800 --> 01:07:59,360
Speaker 1: me to be there by myself. He had all the

1097
01:07:59,400 --> 01:08:04,240
Speaker 1: best intention yea, and got there and was I think

1098
01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:07,880
Speaker 1: his trauma response kicked in, like I'm not ready. So

1099
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:12,120
Speaker 1: many people were like, don't do this, and I'm like, nah,

1100
01:08:12,680 --> 01:08:13,600
Speaker 1: I'm doing it.

1101
01:08:13,600 --> 01:08:17,240
Speaker 2: For myself, for myself because I want to live, because

1102
01:08:17,360 --> 01:08:18,320
Speaker 2: I'm ready.

1103
01:08:18,680 --> 01:08:29,240
Speaker 1: I don't want this whole thing anymore, this whole data Will,

1104
01:08:29,720 --> 01:08:33,320
Speaker 1: I'm done with that. It was part of the work

1105
01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:36,759
Speaker 1: that I was ready for and it was what I needed.

1106
01:08:37,080 --> 01:08:41,800
Speaker 1: And everybody's in different places in their journey. Also. That's

1107
01:08:41,840 --> 01:08:45,240
Speaker 1: also a dynamic I had to look at within myself

1108
01:08:45,360 --> 01:08:48,200
Speaker 1: in regards to So it's two things. There's this healthy

1109
01:08:48,280 --> 01:08:50,439
Speaker 1: data is like tear it down. I want to. I

1110
01:08:50,439 --> 01:08:53,120
Speaker 1: don't want that persona anymore. Terror I ain't go down.

1111
01:08:53,160 --> 01:08:54,519
Speaker 1: And there was this other part of me that was like,

1112
01:08:54,640 --> 01:08:57,040
Speaker 1: oh my god, I need to pretend. You know, he's

1113
01:08:57,080 --> 01:08:59,920
Speaker 1: not ready. You know he's not ready. My you know,

1114
01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:02,479
Speaker 1: codependency kicks in and I go, this is what I do.

1115
01:09:02,600 --> 01:09:07,680
Speaker 1: I'm the martyr. I can do the martyr thing. So

1116
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:11,960
Speaker 1: once again, it's both things. It's healing like I'm ready,

1117
01:09:13,240 --> 01:09:15,880
Speaker 1: like I'm ready for I'm ready for the tear down,

1118
01:09:16,479 --> 01:09:19,800
Speaker 1: and then this martyr that's like and I want to

1119
01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:22,599
Speaker 1: make sure Will, as long as you're okay, I'm okay.

1120
01:09:23,320 --> 01:09:26,840
Speaker 1: That's part of my relationship with my mother's addiction that

1121
01:09:26,960 --> 01:09:32,840
Speaker 1: I brought into my relationship with Will. That created a

1122
01:09:32,880 --> 01:09:39,000
Speaker 1: certain dynamic within myself in my relationship with him that

1123
01:09:39,120 --> 01:09:41,360
Speaker 1: I also needed to get my eyes on that I

1124
01:09:41,400 --> 01:09:45,759
Speaker 1: didn't see that that needed to be healed as well.

1125
01:09:45,800 --> 01:09:53,080
Speaker 1: Without that table, without that moment, I would have never

1126
01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:56,880
Speaker 1: recognized that as painful as it was for people to watch,

1127
01:09:58,680 --> 01:10:03,760
Speaker 1: existential disappoint meant in a collective. I'm so sorry. I

1128
01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:06,320
Speaker 1: wish it could have happened another way. I'm sorry that

1129
01:10:06,360 --> 01:10:09,320
Speaker 1: it had to be so messy in front of everybody.

1130
01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:16,680
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but I needed that what I got to

1131
01:10:16,760 --> 01:10:18,840
Speaker 1: clear up, what I got to clean up, what I

1132
01:10:18,880 --> 01:10:21,599
Speaker 1: got to see, and to be able to sit here

1133
01:10:21,600 --> 01:10:26,160
Speaker 1: with you today and embrace it all and have so

1134
01:10:26,280 --> 01:10:29,080
Speaker 1: much acceptance for myself for all of the choices I've

1135
01:10:29,080 --> 01:10:32,640
Speaker 1: made and people ask me, if you had to do

1136
01:10:32,680 --> 01:10:34,439
Speaker 1: it over again, would you do it any different?

1137
01:10:35,160 --> 01:10:39,320
Speaker 2: I don't think so, honestly. Like knowing and talking to you,

1138
01:10:40,280 --> 01:10:43,439
Speaker 2: I found it to be so courageous and so full

1139
01:10:43,439 --> 01:10:48,800
Speaker 2: of strength because it was putting yourself on the spot,

1140
01:10:49,120 --> 01:10:53,599
Speaker 2: like in no other way. And I can't even begin

1141
01:10:53,760 --> 01:10:58,599
Speaker 2: to understand how uncomfortable it is. I only can from

1142
01:10:58,640 --> 01:10:59,639
Speaker 2: the conversations we.

1143
01:10:59,680 --> 01:11:02,400
Speaker 1: Had, Well, you were right there with me day at.

1144
01:11:02,200 --> 01:11:05,439
Speaker 2: The level of discomfort. Yeah, you were willing to put

1145
01:11:05,439 --> 01:11:10,080
Speaker 2: yourself in in order to let go of an identity,

1146
01:11:10,240 --> 01:11:13,960
Speaker 2: in order to let go of a perception. Like I'm

1147
01:11:13,960 --> 01:11:15,840
Speaker 2: saying it in these words because I just want everyone

1148
01:11:15,840 --> 01:11:18,840
Speaker 2: who's listening watching just to think about it for a second. Like,

1149
01:11:18,920 --> 01:11:22,799
Speaker 2: imagine you had to go in front of everyone you knew,

1150
01:11:24,080 --> 01:11:27,360
Speaker 2: your family, your friends, your school, whoever it is that

1151
01:11:27,400 --> 01:11:30,160
Speaker 2: you're around, your people at work, and you had to

1152
01:11:30,280 --> 01:11:35,000
Speaker 2: share a secret that wasn't a secret between you and

1153
01:11:35,080 --> 01:11:38,160
Speaker 2: the person you're with, but was a secret to them.

1154
01:11:38,320 --> 01:11:41,120
Speaker 2: To just think about that whatever that secret is, right,

1155
01:11:41,600 --> 01:11:44,280
Speaker 2: Everyone has secrets, everyone has something you know, and to

1156
01:11:44,439 --> 01:11:48,760
Speaker 2: do that requires just so much courage and strength, And

1157
01:11:49,520 --> 01:11:53,000
Speaker 2: it also shows the I think you were just apologizing

1158
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:55,360
Speaker 2: that it was so messy. I also think that it

1159
01:11:55,520 --> 01:11:58,920
Speaker 2: is uncomfortable, like growth is uncomfortable, and like letting go

1160
01:11:59,120 --> 01:12:03,160
Speaker 2: of shedding identities is uncomfortable. And I'm not comparing my

1161
01:12:03,200 --> 01:12:04,800
Speaker 2: experience to you as at all because it's not the

1162
01:12:04,840 --> 01:12:07,559
Speaker 2: same in any way. But I'm trying to explain how

1163
01:12:07,640 --> 01:12:10,759
Speaker 2: like a tiny PDA like my kind of like version

1164
01:12:10,800 --> 01:12:12,960
Speaker 2: of it is still as big. I remember the day

1165
01:12:13,479 --> 01:12:16,200
Speaker 2: I told my friends and my family and my teachers

1166
01:12:16,240 --> 01:12:18,040
Speaker 2: that I no longer thought I could be a monk.

1167
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:21,720
Speaker 2: And it sounds so small like now that but at

1168
01:12:21,760 --> 01:12:25,160
Speaker 2: the time as someone who would like I was dedicating

1169
01:12:25,160 --> 01:12:27,919
Speaker 2: my life. You've met my teachers, you know I'm dedicating

1170
01:12:27,960 --> 01:12:30,360
Speaker 2: my life. I'm like doing this big thing. And then

1171
01:12:30,360 --> 01:12:33,160
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, I come to the conclusion that

1172
01:12:33,200 --> 01:12:34,840
Speaker 2: this thought in my head of I'm not good enough,

1173
01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:36,519
Speaker 2: I'm not a monk, I'm not meant to be like,

1174
01:12:36,560 --> 01:12:40,360
Speaker 2: this isn't my path, whatever it may be. I think

1175
01:12:40,400 --> 01:12:43,080
Speaker 2: I should get married, you know all the stuff, and

1176
01:12:43,120 --> 01:12:46,960
Speaker 2: you're so you feel so much shame around the fact

1177
01:12:46,960 --> 01:12:50,360
Speaker 2: that you're not good enough and what are people going

1178
01:12:50,439 --> 01:12:52,920
Speaker 2: to say? And even for me, that was just my

1179
01:12:53,000 --> 01:12:56,519
Speaker 2: temple community and my friends and my family, and even

1180
01:12:56,680 --> 01:13:00,040
Speaker 2: then it was like as if someone was ripping my

1181
01:13:00,160 --> 01:13:02,920
Speaker 2: ego out of my chest. Yeah, because that's what it

1182
01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:05,720
Speaker 2: feels like. It feels like an extraction of you know,

1183
01:13:05,920 --> 01:13:08,040
Speaker 2: not that I'm ego less now, but that was such

1184
01:13:08,040 --> 01:13:11,320
Speaker 2: a big way of crushing that part of my ego.

1185
01:13:12,600 --> 01:13:15,040
Speaker 2: And so I just want people to think about it

1186
01:13:15,080 --> 01:13:17,240
Speaker 2: through that perspective. And I'm saying it because I think

1187
01:13:17,280 --> 01:13:20,200
Speaker 2: that we all go through periods in our life where

1188
01:13:20,200 --> 01:13:22,640
Speaker 2: people misunderstand us. We all go through periods in our

1189
01:13:22,680 --> 01:13:25,519
Speaker 2: life where the people we thought loved us and adored

1190
01:13:25,600 --> 01:13:27,840
Speaker 2: us will now be let down. We all go through

1191
01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:30,880
Speaker 2: experiences in our life where we have to let go

1192
01:13:31,000 --> 01:13:33,360
Speaker 2: of someone that we thought we were or what people

1193
01:13:33,439 --> 01:13:36,080
Speaker 2: thought we were, and those are going to be the hardest,

1194
01:13:36,120 --> 01:13:39,800
Speaker 2: most painful times. And actually, if we can learn to

1195
01:13:39,880 --> 01:13:42,400
Speaker 2: be graceful instead of when our friends are getting divorced

1196
01:13:42,400 --> 01:13:44,240
Speaker 2: and we're like, did you hear so? We had that

1197
01:13:44,640 --> 01:13:47,600
Speaker 2: couple of people in my community back at home just

1198
01:13:47,600 --> 01:13:51,240
Speaker 2: got divorced. The whole community is talking about it, and

1199
01:13:51,320 --> 01:13:55,000
Speaker 2: I'm just like, guys, like, we have no idea what

1200
01:13:55,160 --> 01:13:58,360
Speaker 2: was going on for the last ten twenty years. Let's

1201
01:13:58,360 --> 01:14:00,599
Speaker 2: give them grace because you never know, and that could

1202
01:14:00,680 --> 01:14:03,040
Speaker 2: be you. You have no idea when it could be you.

1203
01:14:03,040 --> 01:14:06,400
Speaker 2: You know, we're so it's so easy to to judge

1204
01:14:06,640 --> 01:14:09,400
Speaker 2: and throw stones at anyone and everyone, like you know,

1205
01:14:09,479 --> 01:14:13,000
Speaker 2: And I just really feel that if we have the

1206
01:14:13,080 --> 01:14:17,680
Speaker 2: ability to be graceful and compassionate when other people are

1207
01:14:17,720 --> 01:14:20,920
Speaker 2: doing that, yeah, we'll actually do it with ourselves. And

1208
01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:24,160
Speaker 2: because we're hard on ourselves, yep, we're hard on others,

1209
01:14:24,520 --> 01:14:26,479
Speaker 2: we're hard on others, we're hard on ourselves. And I

1210
01:14:26,720 --> 01:14:30,639
Speaker 2: just for me, I just want to see more people

1211
01:14:30,880 --> 01:14:35,400
Speaker 2: be graceful for themselves and for others because there's so

1212
01:14:35,520 --> 01:14:37,160
Speaker 2: much human experience wrapped up in it.

1213
01:14:37,200 --> 01:14:39,880
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's my hope too, you know that people

1214
01:14:39,960 --> 01:14:43,200
Speaker 1: can have more grace for themselves. But I tell you,

1215
01:14:43,840 --> 01:14:49,920
Speaker 1: I think one of the saving factors was that, you know,

1216
01:14:50,040 --> 01:14:53,920
Speaker 1: there were no secrets between Will and I. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

1217
01:14:53,960 --> 01:14:57,240
Speaker 1: And there were no secrets between my kids and I. Yes,

1218
01:14:57,600 --> 01:15:03,519
Speaker 1: So the fact that my family was absolutely aware of

1219
01:15:03,560 --> 01:15:07,479
Speaker 1: the entire journey, it was a saving grace for me.

1220
01:15:08,600 --> 01:15:11,640
Speaker 1: Whatever the world wants to think is whatever you know,

1221
01:15:11,800 --> 01:15:14,600
Speaker 1: Will knows he was not betrayed. And my kids know

1222
01:15:14,680 --> 01:15:17,360
Speaker 1: that I did not betray their father, and that to

1223
01:15:17,439 --> 01:15:24,000
Speaker 1: me all that matters. But it was quite a exercise

1224
01:15:24,680 --> 01:15:27,439
Speaker 1: of having to walk in the world like that, you know,

1225
01:15:27,560 --> 01:15:32,720
Speaker 1: having people think that that's what happened. Just having that

1226
01:15:32,840 --> 01:15:36,240
Speaker 1: exercise in that way has been such a healing factor

1227
01:15:36,840 --> 01:15:39,680
Speaker 1: for me of just the level of self love, the

1228
01:15:39,800 --> 01:15:48,040
Speaker 1: level of self worth that I have because of what

1229
01:15:48,200 --> 01:15:51,840
Speaker 1: that experience has offered me. And I'm not saying that

1230
01:15:51,880 --> 01:15:54,720
Speaker 1: anybody else should do it on that level, you know,

1231
01:15:55,000 --> 01:15:58,679
Speaker 1: But what I am saying is that there are ego

1232
01:15:58,760 --> 01:16:01,880
Speaker 1: deaths that have to occur in order to get to

1233
01:16:02,320 --> 01:16:08,080
Speaker 1: a more authentic place of self worth and self love.

1234
01:16:08,920 --> 01:16:11,479
Speaker 2: And I want to talk about the little gurus, as

1235
01:16:11,479 --> 01:16:13,719
Speaker 2: you call them in the book. We start with Trey,

1236
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:17,759
Speaker 2: who you know this book is dedicated to your daughter

1237
01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:19,840
Speaker 2: and the daughters of the people that read it, and

1238
01:16:19,880 --> 01:16:22,080
Speaker 2: to your sons yea, and to the sons of the

1239
01:16:22,080 --> 01:16:25,000
Speaker 2: people that read it. And I wonder, what is it

1240
01:16:26,080 --> 01:16:29,559
Speaker 2: that you think you've learned from Trey, that you've been

1241
01:16:29,600 --> 01:16:31,919
Speaker 2: taught by Jaden and that you've been taught by Willow

1242
01:16:32,960 --> 01:16:34,920
Speaker 2: in your journey with them all Because you have such

1243
01:16:34,960 --> 01:16:37,679
Speaker 2: a whenever I've seen you with them. You have such

1244
01:16:37,720 --> 01:16:40,679
Speaker 2: a deep, beautiful, rich relationship video kids. We were talking

1245
01:16:40,680 --> 01:16:43,519
Speaker 2: about that earlier. Yeah, I would love to know what

1246
01:16:43,600 --> 01:16:44,960
Speaker 2: is it that each of them have taught you.

1247
01:16:45,720 --> 01:16:49,200
Speaker 1: Trey, he has such an enormous heart. And I think

1248
01:16:49,240 --> 01:16:57,160
Speaker 1: what I love about Trey is his ability to meet people,

1249
01:16:58,040 --> 01:17:02,000
Speaker 1: join people where they are, ability to join me. He

1250
01:17:02,160 --> 01:17:06,599
Speaker 1: has a way of seeing the best in people, no

1251
01:17:06,600 --> 01:17:10,479
Speaker 1: matter what, the best in circumstances, no matter what, and

1252
01:17:10,520 --> 01:17:17,320
Speaker 1: even in his most challenging times challenging relationships, having the

1253
01:17:17,560 --> 01:17:24,880
Speaker 1: willingness to see the person's spirit versus personality. And he's

1254
01:17:24,920 --> 01:17:29,080
Speaker 1: always reminded me of that. You know, mom, you know

1255
01:17:29,200 --> 01:17:31,920
Speaker 1: that person? You know what I mean? And I'm like,

1256
01:17:31,960 --> 01:17:32,720
Speaker 1: you know what trade you?

1257
01:17:32,840 --> 01:17:33,000
Speaker 2: Right?

1258
01:17:33,120 --> 01:17:36,720
Speaker 1: He and I have kind of been walking parallel. We'll

1259
01:17:36,760 --> 01:17:38,439
Speaker 1: look over at each other and go, I see you,

1260
01:17:38,479 --> 01:17:41,280
Speaker 1: and he goes, I see you. You know, you know

1261
01:17:41,320 --> 01:17:43,760
Speaker 1: what I mean? And so you know, we're the two

1262
01:17:43,960 --> 01:17:50,800
Speaker 1: in the family that's really been on a intense walk spiritually.

1263
01:17:51,160 --> 01:17:57,120
Speaker 1: And he has so much perseverance in regards to understanding God,

1264
01:17:58,160 --> 01:18:02,559
Speaker 1: finding his way understanding life. I don't know if you know,

1265
01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:06,479
Speaker 1: he's just such a he's such a light, you know,

1266
01:18:06,600 --> 01:18:11,439
Speaker 1: so iron sharpens iron. He'll walk in the kitchen and go, mom,

1267
01:18:11,479 --> 01:18:13,800
Speaker 1: look at me, what do you think I'm feeling today?

1268
01:18:14,960 --> 01:18:16,720
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. Or he'll look at me

1269
01:18:16,800 --> 01:18:21,439
Speaker 1: and go, wow, you know you're you're like bright, what's

1270
01:18:21,479 --> 01:18:23,439
Speaker 1: going on with you? Like he can just see me

1271
01:18:24,120 --> 01:18:27,000
Speaker 1: and he can see people, you know, and I'd be like, wow,

1272
01:18:27,000 --> 01:18:28,880
Speaker 1: how did you see that? This is happening? This is

1273
01:18:28,880 --> 01:18:31,840
Speaker 1: that He's like really, you know, and he's he's just

1274
01:18:32,000 --> 01:18:34,240
Speaker 1: he's just such a light. He's just such a joy.

1275
01:18:34,880 --> 01:18:38,200
Speaker 1: And so he just is always reminding me to look

1276
01:18:38,479 --> 01:18:43,280
Speaker 1: for the best in people. And I just adore him

1277
01:18:43,560 --> 01:18:50,400
Speaker 1: and is why he's a bonus, you know. And then Willow, Oh,

1278
01:18:50,600 --> 01:18:55,200
Speaker 1: she's such a fireball. I mean she she is like

1279
01:18:55,560 --> 01:18:59,559
Speaker 1: the mirror of the fire of my soul when I

1280
01:18:59,640 --> 01:19:02,519
Speaker 1: tell you, she is the mirror of that, Like I

1281
01:19:02,560 --> 01:19:08,640
Speaker 1: get to see myself in her in so many ways.

1282
01:19:09,200 --> 01:19:11,880
Speaker 1: What I love most about Willow is that she is

1283
01:19:13,920 --> 01:19:16,040
Speaker 1: to the point, you know what I mean, she is

1284
01:19:16,200 --> 01:19:20,080
Speaker 1: like she doesn't have a whole lot of play play.

1285
01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:24,800
Speaker 1: She's just like no, no, she just hits it on

1286
01:19:24,840 --> 01:19:27,840
Speaker 1: the mark. Where sometimes I can be very flowery, you know,

1287
01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:32,040
Speaker 1: very gentle. And I also love how she loves me.

1288
01:19:33,280 --> 01:19:36,360
Speaker 1: She teaches me a lot about love. She teaches me

1289
01:19:36,560 --> 01:19:39,880
Speaker 1: a lot about When I talked about being able to

1290
01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:44,280
Speaker 1: join like, she teaches me a lot about how to

1291
01:19:44,439 --> 01:19:48,600
Speaker 1: join her and how to join others in ways that

1292
01:19:48,680 --> 01:19:52,559
Speaker 1: I'm not used to. I know how to join others

1293
01:19:52,600 --> 01:19:55,680
Speaker 1: in ways that I'm used to, but me having to

1294
01:19:55,760 --> 01:19:58,200
Speaker 1: learn how to join her in a certain manner. I've

1295
01:19:58,240 --> 01:20:00,920
Speaker 1: had to come out of my comfort zone and really

1296
01:20:00,960 --> 01:20:05,400
Speaker 1: be like, oh man, I'm very deficient here, and her

1297
01:20:05,479 --> 01:20:09,280
Speaker 1: patience with me with that deficiency, She's so patient with me.

1298
01:20:09,360 --> 01:20:11,640
Speaker 1: She's like, it's okay, Mom. You know sometimes that I

1299
01:20:11,640 --> 01:20:13,519
Speaker 1: don't need you to talk to me. Mom, just hold me.

1300
01:20:13,880 --> 01:20:15,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that's all you want me to do?

1301
01:20:15,240 --> 01:20:18,200
Speaker 1: You just want me, That's all. I'm not used to that.

1302
01:20:19,640 --> 01:20:22,160
Speaker 1: You know, I don't come from a family where affection.

1303
01:20:22,640 --> 01:20:25,040
Speaker 1: You know that we don't. We don't hug each other

1304
01:20:25,080 --> 01:20:29,240
Speaker 1: and hold each other. That's not what we did. But willowy, Ma,

1305
01:20:29,400 --> 01:20:32,920
Speaker 1: I don't need your advice. I just want to sit here,

1306
01:20:33,080 --> 01:20:35,320
Speaker 1: hold me while I cry. And then I have to

1307
01:20:35,400 --> 01:20:37,240
Speaker 1: learn how to I've had to learn she's taught me

1308
01:20:37,280 --> 01:20:40,320
Speaker 1: how to hold tears and really be able to join

1309
01:20:40,360 --> 01:20:42,800
Speaker 1: with those tears and not rebel and you know, like

1310
01:20:43,600 --> 01:20:45,839
Speaker 1: have them repel because then they bring up my tears.

1311
01:20:45,880 --> 01:20:48,040
Speaker 1: And so she's learned. She's taught me how to love

1312
01:20:48,080 --> 01:20:51,040
Speaker 1: my tears too, you know, those places within myself that

1313
01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:55,640
Speaker 1: I haven't always been willing to go, you know. And

1314
01:20:55,680 --> 01:20:57,519
Speaker 1: now I cry all the time, you know, And I

1315
01:20:57,560 --> 01:21:02,639
Speaker 1: call it the thawing because for so long I wasn't allowed.

1316
01:21:02,920 --> 01:21:06,200
Speaker 1: I didn't allow myself to cry, you know. So she's

1317
01:21:06,240 --> 01:21:12,759
Speaker 1: taught me that. And then there's Jaden. Oh man, Jaden,

1318
01:21:13,439 --> 01:21:17,679
Speaker 1: he's just walking joy. I mean he comes in the room,

1319
01:21:17,760 --> 01:21:21,840
Speaker 1: it's just like Jaden, you know, he's just walking joy.

1320
01:21:21,840 --> 01:21:24,479
Speaker 1: But he was like that when I carried him. I

1321
01:21:24,520 --> 01:21:26,320
Speaker 1: was the happiest I had ever been in my life

1322
01:21:26,320 --> 01:21:28,360
Speaker 1: when I was pregnant with Jaden. And I think that

1323
01:21:28,360 --> 01:21:31,680
Speaker 1: I had a lot to do with the energy that

1324
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:37,200
Speaker 1: he carries. He has the capacity to love everything, and

1325
01:21:37,240 --> 01:21:46,519
Speaker 1: that is difficulty, challenging people, challenging situations. He has the

1326
01:21:46,560 --> 01:21:51,000
Speaker 1: capacity to love it all and find the beauty in it.

1327
01:21:52,160 --> 01:21:56,000
Speaker 1: And I'm talking about sincerely, and it is like that's

1328
01:21:56,040 --> 01:21:59,439
Speaker 1: a god given gift. That's not you can't teach that.

1329
01:22:00,120 --> 01:22:02,720
Speaker 1: So he just I was sitting out, you know, I

1330
01:22:02,760 --> 01:22:04,280
Speaker 1: was just talking to him the other day and I

1331
01:22:04,320 --> 01:22:07,760
Speaker 1: was just like, oh, I was reading this book Emotionally

1332
01:22:07,800 --> 01:22:10,920
Speaker 1: Immature Parents, and I was like, Jane, you got to

1333
01:22:10,920 --> 01:22:16,440
Speaker 1: read this book. Your mother has been an emotionally imstry parents.

1334
01:22:17,120 --> 01:22:21,280
Speaker 1: I said, you got to read this book. And he said,

1335
01:22:21,920 --> 01:22:26,280
Speaker 1: you know what, ma, He said, things from Afar can

1336
01:22:26,320 --> 01:22:29,200
Speaker 1: look a certain way, but when you put a microscope

1337
01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:32,120
Speaker 1: up on something and you look at it close up,

1338
01:22:32,600 --> 01:22:38,639
Speaker 1: he was like, it is such a weird shape, weird

1339
01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:42,240
Speaker 1: beautiful shapes of things, but you get to see the

1340
01:22:42,280 --> 01:22:45,679
Speaker 1: intricacies of it and it's so much more. And that's

1341
01:22:45,720 --> 01:22:49,000
Speaker 1: what you are to me. You're like this beautiful, intricate

1342
01:22:49,720 --> 01:22:54,360
Speaker 1: organism that I love so much. Don't ever apologize to

1343
01:22:54,400 --> 01:23:01,040
Speaker 1: me again, you know what I mean. And that's just

1344
01:23:01,120 --> 01:23:04,240
Speaker 1: how his mind works, you know. And he comes over

1345
01:23:04,280 --> 01:23:07,040
Speaker 1: and he hugs me and he kisses me on my forehead,

1346
01:23:07,200 --> 01:23:10,559
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And he's like, you gave

1347
01:23:10,640 --> 01:23:13,760
Speaker 1: birth to me that, don't ever apologize to me, you know.

1348
01:23:13,840 --> 01:23:15,599
Speaker 1: And he's like, and I'm not reading our book I'm

1349
01:23:15,600 --> 01:23:20,160
Speaker 1: gonna get you the book anyway. You know, I'm always

1350
01:23:20,200 --> 01:23:22,360
Speaker 1: apologizing to my kids about all kinds of things. I

1351
01:23:22,360 --> 01:23:27,080
Speaker 1: think it's so important for parents to apologize, say sorry.

1352
01:23:27,800 --> 01:23:30,599
Speaker 1: You know, I've gotten in the habit every little like

1353
01:23:31,120 --> 01:23:33,760
Speaker 1: if I misunderstand something, or if there's like this like

1354
01:23:33,880 --> 01:23:38,000
Speaker 1: little glip, you know what, I didn't quite get that,

1355
01:23:38,080 --> 01:23:42,000
Speaker 1: then I'm so sorry. I apologize. I'm gonna do better

1356
01:23:42,040 --> 01:23:44,639
Speaker 1: next time with that, and thank you for your patience.

1357
01:23:45,680 --> 01:23:48,599
Speaker 1: I think it's important, you know. I wish my father

1358
01:23:48,640 --> 01:23:52,600
Speaker 1: had apologized to me more. My mom apologizes too. I

1359
01:23:52,640 --> 01:23:56,680
Speaker 1: actually learned that from her. She's apologized a lot, and

1360
01:23:56,720 --> 01:23:58,880
Speaker 1: I actually said the same thing to her now that

1361
01:23:58,920 --> 01:24:01,799
Speaker 1: i'm thinking about it, apologizing.

1362
01:24:02,960 --> 01:24:05,479
Speaker 2: But isn't that that those are the best relationships where

1363
01:24:06,240 --> 01:24:10,000
Speaker 2: someone does something yeah, and the other person is like,

1364
01:24:10,080 --> 01:24:13,519
Speaker 2: it's fine, yeah, And that's what kind of It's that

1365
01:24:13,560 --> 01:24:18,840
Speaker 2: relationship where internally you're happy you heard it, but you

1366
01:24:18,880 --> 01:24:21,400
Speaker 2: know you didn't need to the person still felt the

1367
01:24:21,439 --> 01:24:24,200
Speaker 2: need to say it, and it creates so much clarity.

1368
01:24:24,240 --> 01:24:28,200
Speaker 2: And you know, when I told Willow you were coming

1369
01:24:28,240 --> 01:24:35,839
Speaker 2: on today, she sent a little note oh, because I

1370
01:24:35,640 --> 01:24:37,519
Speaker 2: was I was talking to her about it, and I

1371
01:24:37,520 --> 01:24:39,519
Speaker 2: was talking to her about the book, and so she

1372
01:24:39,560 --> 01:24:41,559
Speaker 2: sent this little note that I want to read to you.

1373
01:24:41,560 --> 01:24:43,920
Speaker 1: If that's okay, Oh my god, let me keep my napkin.

1374
01:24:44,120 --> 01:24:48,080
Speaker 2: So she said, this is from Willow and Willow. If

1375
01:24:48,080 --> 01:24:50,519
Speaker 2: I don't read it as you would in your amazing voice,

1376
01:24:50,600 --> 01:24:54,719
Speaker 2: then please forgive me. I'm also apologizing to you in advance. Mum.

1377
01:24:54,960 --> 01:24:58,599
Speaker 2: I am incomprehensibly proud of you and all of the

1378
01:24:58,640 --> 01:25:02,080
Speaker 2: inner excavation you you have done during the writing of

1379
01:25:02,120 --> 01:25:06,599
Speaker 2: your book. There were many times during the process where

1380
01:25:06,600 --> 01:25:09,920
Speaker 2: you would read me sections and deep emotions would come

1381
01:25:10,000 --> 01:25:14,040
Speaker 2: up for us. Both learning from you through learning about

1382
01:25:14,080 --> 01:25:17,920
Speaker 2: you is one of the biggest joys of my life.

1383
01:25:18,000 --> 01:25:21,120
Speaker 2: You never cease to inspire me with how wide you've

1384
01:25:21,200 --> 01:25:24,840
Speaker 2: opened your heart, not only to the immense joys of life,

1385
01:25:25,400 --> 01:25:29,719
Speaker 2: but also to the deep uncertainties and shadows with equal

1386
01:25:29,760 --> 01:25:34,880
Speaker 2: gratitude and grace. You have shown me true tenderness and

1387
01:25:34,920 --> 01:25:39,200
Speaker 2: true strength come from the same place within, and that

1388
01:25:39,320 --> 01:25:43,040
Speaker 2: is something that I aspire to show others. Thank you

1389
01:25:43,080 --> 01:25:45,400
Speaker 2: for loving me. I'm so grateful for you.

1390
01:25:48,320 --> 01:25:52,880
Speaker 1: And the Guru. That's the little Guru right there, there,

1391
01:25:52,880 --> 01:25:53,400
Speaker 1: it is.

1392
01:25:53,720 --> 01:25:55,679
Speaker 2: She loves you so much, and they will obviously love

1393
01:25:55,680 --> 01:25:59,000
Speaker 2: you so much. But when I read that, and when

1394
01:25:59,000 --> 01:26:01,680
Speaker 2: I was reflecting on it, is just and as me

1395
01:26:01,720 --> 01:26:03,800
Speaker 2: and Roddy always talk about this, because we've watched you

1396
01:26:03,840 --> 01:26:08,240
Speaker 2: in Willow so many times together and it has been

1397
01:26:08,280 --> 01:26:12,719
Speaker 2: so inspiring to us to see that connection you both

1398
01:26:12,800 --> 01:26:15,280
Speaker 2: have and the openness you have with your kids and

1399
01:26:15,880 --> 01:26:19,040
Speaker 2: how well they understand you. And you know, as you

1400
01:26:19,040 --> 01:26:22,759
Speaker 2: were just saying, you always apologizing, but that's what they're seeing. Yeah,

1401
01:26:23,479 --> 01:26:27,719
Speaker 2: they see that because you're so willing to share with them.

1402
01:26:28,080 --> 01:26:31,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't keep secrets from my kids. I've let

1403
01:26:31,840 --> 01:26:36,200
Speaker 1: them see my deepest flaws. And I think that's important.

1404
01:26:36,240 --> 01:26:39,720
Speaker 1: I mean, and not in the way that we have

1405
01:26:39,760 --> 01:26:41,400
Speaker 1: to be careful with that too, but I mean just

1406
01:26:41,439 --> 01:26:43,920
Speaker 1: as far as like it's okay to be human, not

1407
01:26:44,040 --> 01:26:46,960
Speaker 1: being afraid to show my humanness, because that's the one

1408
01:26:47,000 --> 01:26:49,640
Speaker 1: thing with my mother that I have so much gratitude

1409
01:26:49,680 --> 01:26:52,120
Speaker 1: for that I could see her as a human being

1410
01:26:52,680 --> 01:26:57,200
Speaker 1: and my relationship with you know, my mother being an addict,

1411
01:26:57,320 --> 01:27:03,160
Speaker 1: and me being able to relate to her as not

1412
01:27:03,200 --> 01:27:06,320
Speaker 1: just my mother, but as a woman, you know, as

1413
01:27:06,320 --> 01:27:10,559
Speaker 1: a person. And I think that was one aspect that

1414
01:27:10,640 --> 01:27:13,040
Speaker 1: I felt like I really needed to bring into my

1415
01:27:13,160 --> 01:27:16,400
Speaker 1: relationship with my kids for them to see me as

1416
01:27:16,439 --> 01:27:19,400
Speaker 1: a person ran this together.

1417
01:27:20,439 --> 01:27:23,280
Speaker 2: It comes across. When I've witnessed it. It's the most

1418
01:27:23,320 --> 01:27:27,840
Speaker 2: beautiful thing. I could only ever dreamed that when RATHER

1419
01:27:27,920 --> 01:27:30,760
Speaker 2: and I are able to do that, that you know

1420
01:27:30,800 --> 01:27:34,759
Speaker 2: that we you will have what you have. It's really special.

1421
01:27:34,800 --> 01:27:37,920
Speaker 2: It's remarkable to watch in practice. And I mean that,

1422
01:27:38,360 --> 01:27:42,479
Speaker 2: you know, the message says it all, But Jedda, I

1423
01:27:42,479 --> 01:27:45,800
Speaker 2: wanted you know I throughout this book and even in

1424
01:27:45,840 --> 01:27:48,599
Speaker 2: this interview today. I think I was going to save

1425
01:27:48,600 --> 01:27:50,160
Speaker 2: this to say it later, but I'm going to say now.

1426
01:27:50,600 --> 01:27:57,240
Speaker 2: I've been sharing spirituality with people in different ways since

1427
01:27:57,280 --> 01:28:04,120
Speaker 2: I was eighteen years old, and I was so young

1428
01:28:04,160 --> 01:28:07,360
Speaker 2: and immature then in my spirituality, and I still am

1429
01:28:07,400 --> 01:28:10,639
Speaker 2: today and that will always continue. And I've just been

1430
01:28:10,680 --> 01:28:14,880
Speaker 2: fortunate to sit at the feet of incredible teachers and mentors,

1431
01:28:14,920 --> 01:28:19,120
Speaker 2: and so any realization I've had earlier than I should

1432
01:28:19,120 --> 01:28:21,840
Speaker 2: have had, it is because of sitting with elders, and

1433
01:28:22,280 --> 01:28:24,200
Speaker 2: you know, sitting with the teachers I've introduced you to.

1434
01:28:24,600 --> 01:28:28,559
Speaker 2: And I've rarely met someone who's as eager for healing

1435
01:28:28,600 --> 01:28:33,200
Speaker 2: as you. I don't think I've met a family that's more.

1436
01:28:34,520 --> 01:28:39,160
Speaker 2: We're healing is the top priority, right And it's such

1437
01:28:39,200 --> 01:28:43,880
Speaker 2: an interesting thing to perceive in someone because you can

1438
01:28:43,920 --> 01:28:47,280
Speaker 2: tell by someone's language and when their eyes light up

1439
01:28:47,720 --> 01:28:51,680
Speaker 2: and their body language changes as to what they are

1440
01:28:51,760 --> 01:28:55,240
Speaker 2: motivated by. And ever since I met you, from the

1441
01:28:55,280 --> 01:28:58,920
Speaker 2: first day we met backstage green room for Red Table

1442
01:28:59,600 --> 01:29:03,519
Speaker 2: Thought Series two launch day event, I was getting to

1443
01:29:03,600 --> 01:29:08,560
Speaker 2: host and interview you, Dan and Willow, and I remember

1444
01:29:08,760 --> 01:29:10,799
Speaker 2: you'd ask me like, what did you learn as a monk?

1445
01:29:12,040 --> 01:29:14,719
Speaker 2: And I'd said to you, I was. I was giving

1446
01:29:14,760 --> 01:29:18,000
Speaker 2: to you the what I did learn as practices, but

1447
01:29:18,080 --> 01:29:20,439
Speaker 2: I wasn't getting to the root of it. So I

1448
01:29:20,479 --> 01:29:25,360
Speaker 2: was explaining the practices like gratitude and meditation and mindfulness

1449
01:29:25,640 --> 01:29:31,800
Speaker 2: and service, and were you were kind of just like, oh,

1450
01:29:31,800 --> 01:29:34,400
Speaker 2: that's cool, like you know it was. And then I'd

1451
01:29:34,439 --> 01:29:38,360
Speaker 2: said to you because I felt a inner voice say

1452
01:29:38,439 --> 01:29:41,160
Speaker 2: that I should, and it was truly guided from within,

1453
01:29:41,240 --> 01:29:43,719
Speaker 2: And I said to you, I learned how to love God,

1454
01:29:44,240 --> 01:29:48,880
Speaker 2: And that was potentially the first time I'd even said

1455
01:29:48,920 --> 01:29:53,640
Speaker 2: that in that way to someone. And you, just like

1456
01:29:54,360 --> 01:29:57,120
Speaker 2: your whole body language and your eyes and everything just changed,

1457
01:29:57,200 --> 01:29:59,799
Speaker 2: and everyone else was late. So we were just talking

1458
01:30:00,400 --> 01:30:02,800
Speaker 2: and you were like, I want to learn how to

1459
01:30:02,840 --> 01:30:04,760
Speaker 2: love God too. And you'd obviously already been on that

1460
01:30:04,840 --> 01:30:07,400
Speaker 2: journey for decades, like you know, and you talk about

1461
01:30:07,439 --> 01:30:09,920
Speaker 2: in the book where you started with the Ethical Society, right,

1462
01:30:10,200 --> 01:30:11,880
Speaker 2: you know, that had been a journey that had been

1463
01:30:11,880 --> 01:30:13,720
Speaker 2: a part of your journey forever. But it was so

1464
01:30:13,880 --> 01:30:17,759
Speaker 2: interesting to me to meet someone and an entire family

1465
01:30:18,320 --> 01:30:21,920
Speaker 2: who is more focused on healing and growth and and

1466
01:30:22,040 --> 01:30:24,360
Speaker 2: God in their own way, in your in your own language,

1467
01:30:24,360 --> 01:30:26,840
Speaker 2: and your own in your own ways, than than anything else.

1468
01:30:26,920 --> 01:30:30,679
Speaker 2: I've never we've never had a conversation that steers too

1469
01:30:30,720 --> 01:30:34,519
Speaker 2: far away from any of those things, which which says so,

1470
01:30:34,640 --> 01:30:36,040
Speaker 2: and we have fun and we have a good time

1471
01:30:36,080 --> 01:30:39,240
Speaker 2: and everything, but that and the reason I raised that

1472
01:30:39,400 --> 01:30:42,599
Speaker 2: is because I also saw that when you were talking

1473
01:30:42,640 --> 01:30:44,920
Speaker 2: about Oscar's night in the book, you referred to as

1474
01:30:44,920 --> 01:30:48,559
Speaker 2: the holy slab and the holy joke, And you've always

1475
01:30:48,560 --> 01:30:53,800
Speaker 2: looked at everything through the lens of how is this

1476
01:30:53,840 --> 01:30:57,400
Speaker 2: bringing me closer to the divine? I remember one conversation

1477
01:30:57,560 --> 01:31:02,840
Speaker 2: we had about the femine in divine, and I'll never

1478
01:31:02,880 --> 01:31:06,719
Speaker 2: forget it. Because we at this point we'd been doing

1479
01:31:07,080 --> 01:31:09,559
Speaker 2: we've been talking twice a week for like a year

1480
01:31:09,600 --> 01:31:14,839
Speaker 2: and a half or something, and we were talking about

1481
01:31:15,120 --> 01:31:19,679
Speaker 2: a specific aspect of the divine feminine, which is often

1482
01:31:19,840 --> 01:31:23,800
Speaker 2: left out or forgotten or hidden. I had never seen

1483
01:31:23,840 --> 01:31:30,840
Speaker 2: anyone respond in a way so sincerely and genuinely to

1484
01:31:32,280 --> 01:31:36,880
Speaker 2: a vision of God as you did, and you said,

1485
01:31:37,160 --> 01:31:39,240
Speaker 2: with tears in your eyes, You're like, I've been looking

1486
01:31:39,479 --> 01:31:43,160
Speaker 2: for this God for twenty five years. And I remember

1487
01:31:43,360 --> 01:31:47,600
Speaker 2: just going like I could just see the genuineness and

1488
01:31:47,640 --> 01:31:51,960
Speaker 2: the sincerity in your eyes, and I was just like, wow,

1489
01:31:52,040 --> 01:31:53,920
Speaker 2: like I hope I can love like that one day,

1490
01:31:53,960 --> 01:31:55,840
Speaker 2: Like that's actually what I felt like, as it was

1491
01:31:55,880 --> 01:32:02,280
Speaker 2: so inspiring. And I know that I've got closer to

1492
01:32:02,400 --> 01:32:06,360
Speaker 2: Divinity through our work, and that's because of your seeking.

1493
01:32:07,360 --> 01:32:10,320
Speaker 2: And you've pulled me closer to the divine through your seeking,

1494
01:32:10,479 --> 01:32:13,800
Speaker 2: which you've given me the greatest gift, like for years

1495
01:32:13,800 --> 01:32:16,360
Speaker 2: and years and years ever since I've known you, and

1496
01:32:16,400 --> 01:32:21,160
Speaker 2: it's your ability to look for that. And so I

1497
01:32:21,200 --> 01:32:23,639
Speaker 2: wanted to talk to you about you know, I think

1498
01:32:23,680 --> 01:32:27,760
Speaker 2: when it all went down on Oscar's Night and you

1499
01:32:27,800 --> 01:32:29,160
Speaker 2: talk about this in the book and so I want

1500
01:32:29,160 --> 01:32:31,880
Speaker 2: to leave everyone to read about it in full. But

1501
01:32:33,680 --> 01:32:36,679
Speaker 2: the perception was that you were so offended that you'd

1502
01:32:36,760 --> 01:32:43,080
Speaker 2: kind of urge this action, which is bizarre in and

1503
01:32:43,120 --> 01:32:45,160
Speaker 2: of itself for so many reasons that you lay out

1504
01:32:45,200 --> 01:32:47,320
Speaker 2: in the book. But I want to hear from you, like,

1505
01:32:47,439 --> 01:32:51,760
Speaker 2: what were you actually hurt by about the condition that

1506
01:32:51,840 --> 01:32:57,280
Speaker 2: you were going through? And in that gap between what

1507
01:32:57,360 --> 01:33:00,519
Speaker 2: we saw and what we didn't get to see, which

1508
01:33:00,600 --> 01:33:05,000
Speaker 2: everyone had their own theory on what was actually your

1509
01:33:05,040 --> 01:33:06,559
Speaker 2: thought space, where were you?

1510
01:33:07,080 --> 01:33:10,240
Speaker 1: Let me start with that was a really layered moment.

1511
01:33:12,080 --> 01:33:17,120
Speaker 1: Let me start with also that there was so much

1512
01:33:18,479 --> 01:33:23,400
Speaker 1: that people didn't know in regards to what was happening

1513
01:33:23,439 --> 01:33:25,160
Speaker 1: with Will and I at that time. And I will

1514
01:33:25,280 --> 01:33:28,920
Speaker 1: leave for people to get the book because there's so

1515
01:33:29,160 --> 01:33:34,280
Speaker 1: much history and in present. Yeah, break it down, break

1516
01:33:34,280 --> 01:33:37,799
Speaker 1: it down, and I did exactly. It's so much history

1517
01:33:38,280 --> 01:33:41,040
Speaker 1: that I think would give people a lot more context

1518
01:33:41,120 --> 01:33:45,040
Speaker 1: to understand that moment. Let me also say that I

1519
01:33:45,120 --> 01:33:48,360
Speaker 1: know there was a difficult moment to watch because of

1520
01:33:48,880 --> 01:33:53,880
Speaker 1: history that Chris and I had in regards to the

1521
01:33:53,920 --> 01:33:58,599
Speaker 1: twenty sixteen Oscar so White. And I'll let people read

1522
01:33:59,000 --> 01:34:01,800
Speaker 1: to get up to speed. On that. But when I

1523
01:34:01,880 --> 01:34:04,720
Speaker 1: first saw Chris's name come on stage, come up as

1524
01:34:04,760 --> 01:34:07,280
Speaker 1: one of the presenters, I said, oh boy. I looked

1525
01:34:07,320 --> 01:34:08,560
Speaker 1: to Will and I was like, he's not gonna be

1526
01:34:08,600 --> 01:34:10,559
Speaker 1: able to help himself. This is going to be something.

1527
01:34:10,760 --> 01:34:14,400
Speaker 1: I was like, I knew, I already knew, and I

1528
01:34:14,439 --> 01:34:18,240
Speaker 1: was like, okay, so Will have been going back and

1529
01:34:18,280 --> 01:34:25,160
Speaker 1: forth backstage all night. So when Chris said what he said,

1530
01:34:26,240 --> 01:34:29,560
Speaker 1: I looked to Will as if to say, see, I

1531
01:34:29,640 --> 01:34:34,920
Speaker 1: knew it, right, And then I was like, oh boy,

1532
01:34:35,840 --> 01:34:40,839
Speaker 1: that's not cool to like talk about a medical condition

1533
01:34:40,960 --> 01:34:45,240
Speaker 1: that people there's nothing you can like, it's not something

1534
01:34:45,280 --> 01:34:49,320
Speaker 1: that can be cured, right, And that how many stories

1535
01:34:49,360 --> 01:34:52,200
Speaker 1: I had heard of people, you know, young people committing

1536
01:34:52,240 --> 01:34:55,120
Speaker 1: suicide and the shame and just how many people suffer

1537
01:34:55,760 --> 01:34:58,240
Speaker 1: and you don't even know. Like once I had the

1538
01:34:58,280 --> 01:35:00,280
Speaker 1: condition and I saw how many people around me had,

1539
01:35:00,400 --> 01:35:02,960
Speaker 1: I was like, all these years I didn't know, and

1540
01:35:03,000 --> 01:35:05,920
Speaker 1: people expressed the shame, the level of shame they had

1541
01:35:05,960 --> 01:35:11,559
Speaker 1: around it. I'm gonna be okay as far as my condition.

1542
01:35:11,640 --> 01:35:13,320
Speaker 1: And as you can see, my hair is growing back.

1543
01:35:13,360 --> 01:35:15,840
Speaker 1: That's what it does. It'll grow, it'll fall out, it'll

1544
01:35:15,880 --> 01:35:19,439
Speaker 1: grow back, again, pieces of my eyebrows will fall out,

1545
01:35:19,520 --> 01:35:22,719
Speaker 1: grow back. You know, I'm having a good moment right now.

1546
01:35:23,400 --> 01:35:30,200
Speaker 1: My alopecia is not as extreme as most people who

1547
01:35:30,200 --> 01:35:33,880
Speaker 1: are dealing with that condition, and I just felt like,

1548
01:35:34,000 --> 01:35:37,920
Speaker 1: that's not okay. So I wasn't upset about me, and

1549
01:35:37,960 --> 01:35:40,960
Speaker 1: I don't remember actually rolling my eyes. I think what

1550
01:35:41,080 --> 01:35:44,400
Speaker 1: people saw was me looking at will going I told

1551
01:35:44,439 --> 01:35:46,400
Speaker 1: you I knew he was going to do that, and

1552
01:35:46,960 --> 01:35:51,160
Speaker 1: oh boy, here we go again. Yeah, you know, oh

1553
01:35:51,200 --> 01:35:54,560
Speaker 1: here we go. But I wasn't upset about me. It

1554
01:35:54,680 --> 01:35:57,320
Speaker 1: really wasn't. It wasn't about me. It was just all

1555
01:35:57,360 --> 01:35:59,519
Speaker 1: the stories I had heard and that I continue to

1556
01:35:59,560 --> 01:36:04,439
Speaker 1: hear about people who have suffered from this condition.

1557
01:36:05,000 --> 01:36:07,400
Speaker 2: And obviously you didn't want what happened to happen. Like

1558
01:36:07,439 --> 01:36:10,040
Speaker 2: I think that was just clarifying. I know, I'm just

1559
01:36:10,040 --> 01:36:10,640
Speaker 2: clarifying it.

1560
01:36:10,760 --> 01:36:13,080
Speaker 1: Of course, it wasn't like I looked at Willison, you know.

1561
01:36:13,200 --> 01:36:15,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. And that's the kind you know, those

1562
01:36:15,320 --> 01:36:18,920
Speaker 2: are the kind of moments of context. Yeah, I lost sometimes.

1563
01:36:19,000 --> 01:36:21,120
Speaker 1: Listen, there was an aspect of that that I was

1564
01:36:21,240 --> 01:36:24,800
Speaker 1: as shocked as anyone, because will and I hadn't been

1565
01:36:24,880 --> 01:36:28,120
Speaker 1: referring to each other as husband and wife since twenty sixteen.

1566
01:36:29,000 --> 01:36:34,360
Speaker 1: I was like, wife of me, that's right, Yeah, I'm okay,

1567
01:36:34,439 --> 01:36:37,400
Speaker 1: that's right, I am your wife, and that kicked in.

1568
01:36:37,520 --> 01:36:42,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, yep, here we are in that moment that

1569
01:36:42,280 --> 01:36:45,439
Speaker 1: that did happen. I was like, we came together, We're

1570
01:36:45,479 --> 01:36:49,679
Speaker 1: leaving together. You know that part of me that put

1571
01:36:49,720 --> 01:36:53,519
Speaker 1: everything else aside and was like, this is going to

1572
01:36:53,600 --> 01:36:56,680
Speaker 1: be something I need to make sure Will's okay, We're

1573
01:36:56,680 --> 01:36:59,800
Speaker 1: going to get through this. I had no idea that

1574
01:36:59,800 --> 01:37:03,920
Speaker 1: that was none whatsoever, and I came as family. I

1575
01:37:03,960 --> 01:37:07,720
Speaker 1: actually didn't go to the oscars as Will's wife, and

1576
01:37:07,800 --> 01:37:09,960
Speaker 1: I know for people that's weird, But what was going

1577
01:37:10,000 --> 01:37:11,920
Speaker 1: on behind the scenes, Will and I had been said

1578
01:37:12,080 --> 01:37:16,000
Speaker 1: like we weren't living as husband and wife since twenty sixteen.

1579
01:37:16,680 --> 01:37:19,600
Speaker 1: I was happy he asked me to go. I was

1580
01:37:19,600 --> 01:37:21,800
Speaker 1: happy he wanted to share that moment with me still

1581
01:37:22,840 --> 01:37:25,160
Speaker 1: and I was going to be by his side. And

1582
01:37:25,200 --> 01:37:33,200
Speaker 1: I think also people weren't really aware of the journey

1583
01:37:33,200 --> 01:37:37,360
Speaker 1: that had taken place after emancipation. As far as Will's concern,

1584
01:37:38,000 --> 01:37:42,800
Speaker 1: it was a really difficult movie, and afterwards he decided

1585
01:37:42,840 --> 01:37:45,360
Speaker 1: to get into therapeutic settings and he asked me to

1586
01:37:45,479 --> 01:37:48,439
Speaker 1: join him because a lot of stuff was coming up,

1587
01:37:48,880 --> 01:37:51,559
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff from his past, childhood stuff. I

1588
01:37:51,600 --> 01:37:54,599
Speaker 1: think people didn't understand that there was a history there

1589
01:37:54,640 --> 01:37:56,559
Speaker 1: between he and Chris as well, So there was a

1590
01:37:56,560 --> 01:37:59,640
Speaker 1: lot of contexts that people just didn't have. You know,

1591
01:38:00,040 --> 01:38:02,599
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you something else. I understand why

1592
01:38:02,600 --> 01:38:05,720
Speaker 1: people thought it was me. I understand why people blame me.

1593
01:38:06,120 --> 01:38:08,439
Speaker 1: I don't think it's right, but I understand, you know,

1594
01:38:08,560 --> 01:38:12,240
Speaker 1: considering the narratives that were out there that I was

1595
01:38:12,320 --> 01:38:15,760
Speaker 1: part of. I have to take responsibility for that. And

1596
01:38:15,800 --> 01:38:18,200
Speaker 1: I talk about that in the book. You know, me

1597
01:38:18,320 --> 01:38:21,439
Speaker 1: being the adulterous wife that had, you know, push Will

1598
01:38:21,520 --> 01:38:24,240
Speaker 1: to his limit. I get it. So I couldn't even

1599
01:38:24,280 --> 01:38:26,679
Speaker 1: take any of it personally. And I had to put

1600
01:38:26,720 --> 01:38:29,519
Speaker 1: myself in the shoes of the audience and go, if

1601
01:38:29,600 --> 01:38:33,320
Speaker 1: I was looking at this, what would I say? I

1602
01:38:33,320 --> 01:38:35,880
Speaker 1: probably would have said the same thing. And then that

1603
01:38:36,000 --> 01:38:39,600
Speaker 1: made me really look at like, oh man, Like, culturally

1604
01:38:39,600 --> 01:38:42,000
Speaker 1: we're always blaming women, Like I had to really go

1605
01:38:42,200 --> 01:38:45,360
Speaker 1: deep into that, why do we do that? You know

1606
01:38:45,720 --> 01:38:50,720
Speaker 1: that none of power that have so much of their

1607
01:38:51,280 --> 01:38:56,400
Speaker 1: ownness in their life, but when something bad happens. It's

1608
01:38:56,400 --> 01:38:59,320
Speaker 1: a woman's fault, you know what I mean. It's so interesting,

1609
01:38:59,439 --> 01:39:01,680
Speaker 1: you know, and I had I really started to examine that,

1610
01:39:01,920 --> 01:39:05,080
Speaker 1: but more so just looking at that narrative and taking responsibility.

1611
01:39:05,439 --> 01:39:08,280
Speaker 2: And at the same time there was love and compassion

1612
01:39:08,320 --> 01:39:09,799
Speaker 2: for Chris. There was that.

1613
01:39:10,000 --> 01:39:14,599
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you know. I talk about that in the book.

1614
01:39:16,080 --> 01:39:19,479
Speaker 1: I've worked with Chris. I know Chris am I always

1615
01:39:19,520 --> 01:39:22,800
Speaker 1: a fan of Chris's stage work, No, but Chris as

1616
01:39:22,840 --> 01:39:27,200
Speaker 1: a person, he's a sweet guy. There was a moment

1617
01:39:27,520 --> 01:39:33,160
Speaker 1: when Chris came down to the end of the stage

1618
01:39:33,320 --> 01:39:37,200
Speaker 1: and you have to understand, I'm in deep confusion. I

1619
01:39:37,240 --> 01:39:42,040
Speaker 1: don't know what's going on because of me understanding the

1620
01:39:42,080 --> 01:39:45,840
Speaker 1: context of Will and I behind the scenes, what just

1621
01:39:45,880 --> 01:39:49,880
Speaker 1: happened on the stage. I'm worried about Will. I've never

1622
01:39:51,880 --> 01:39:55,720
Speaker 1: seen that from him. I don't know what's going on.

1623
01:39:57,560 --> 01:40:01,280
Speaker 1: But Chris comes to the end of the stage and

1624
01:40:01,320 --> 01:40:07,160
Speaker 1: he looks at me deeply sincerely, and he says, Jada,

1625
01:40:07,240 --> 01:40:10,920
Speaker 1: I meant no harm, and it was so sincere in

1626
01:40:11,000 --> 01:40:14,519
Speaker 1: his eyes. I'm like, that's the Chris I know. That's

1627
01:40:14,520 --> 01:40:17,640
Speaker 1: the Chris I've experienced. That's the Chris that a lot

1628
01:40:17,680 --> 01:40:19,479
Speaker 1: of people don't get to see because people just see

1629
01:40:19,520 --> 01:40:22,679
Speaker 1: Chris on stage doing what Chris does. But I'm glad

1630
01:40:22,720 --> 01:40:28,200
Speaker 1: I had that moment because with everything else that transpired afterwards,

1631
01:40:28,439 --> 01:40:31,760
Speaker 1: you know, his Netflix, certain comments and all of that,

1632
01:40:32,640 --> 01:40:35,559
Speaker 1: I could hold on to that sincere moment. So when

1633
01:40:35,600 --> 01:40:39,559
Speaker 1: we talk about looking past personality, when somebody has had

1634
01:40:39,560 --> 01:40:41,800
Speaker 1: that opportunity to show you their heart, to show you

1635
01:40:41,840 --> 01:40:47,599
Speaker 1: their spirit, that's the truth, not all the other stuff

1636
01:40:48,280 --> 01:40:55,760
Speaker 1: that hurt, misunderstanding, confusion might bring up. So where my

1637
01:40:55,840 --> 01:41:00,200
Speaker 1: feelings hurt when I heard what was happening as far

1638
01:41:00,240 --> 01:41:03,600
Speaker 1: as the Netflix, of course my feelings were hurt, but

1639
01:41:03,680 --> 01:41:06,559
Speaker 1: I didn't take it personally because I remember I can

1640
01:41:06,600 --> 01:41:08,680
Speaker 1: see his eyes right now as I'm talking to you,

1641
01:41:10,320 --> 01:41:16,120
Speaker 1: and that's the truth of Chris's spirit, Jada, I meant

1642
01:41:16,120 --> 01:41:19,400
Speaker 1: no harm. I talk about it in the book. It's like,

1643
01:41:21,120 --> 01:41:25,599
Speaker 1: you gotta have grace when we're hurt. I'm not saying

1644
01:41:25,640 --> 01:41:31,080
Speaker 1: that I agree with how it was handled. I don't

1645
01:41:31,080 --> 01:41:38,200
Speaker 1: agree with it, but I understand. And so my hope

1646
01:41:38,280 --> 01:41:42,600
Speaker 1: is that there will be there's such a beautiful opportunity

1647
01:41:42,640 --> 01:41:45,360
Speaker 1: for healing, and my hope is that that will occur.

1648
01:41:46,439 --> 01:41:51,960
Speaker 1: It's time. Everything needs time. You have two beautiful men

1649
01:41:53,120 --> 01:42:00,479
Speaker 1: who have hurts and who have hurt one another, but

1650
01:42:00,520 --> 01:42:06,559
Speaker 1: they're both beautiful men. And as I said before, my

1651
01:42:06,720 --> 01:42:12,160
Speaker 1: hope is that these two very capable, beautiful men at

1652
01:42:12,200 --> 01:42:19,880
Speaker 1: some time figure out how to resolve this whole thing

1653
01:42:20,800 --> 01:42:24,040
Speaker 1: of the present and of the past, you know, because

1654
01:42:24,080 --> 01:42:25,040
Speaker 1: life is about healing.

1655
01:42:25,120 --> 01:42:25,320
Speaker 2: Man.

1656
01:42:25,520 --> 01:42:29,880
Speaker 1: It's like life's too short. And you know, sometimes conflicts

1657
01:42:29,920 --> 01:42:33,519
Speaker 1: can really amplify love. They really can. I know it

1658
01:42:33,560 --> 01:42:37,280
Speaker 1: has for me. And that's why I called that chapter

1659
01:42:38,200 --> 01:42:40,640
Speaker 1: the Holy Slap, the Holy Joke, the Holy Slap, and

1660
01:42:40,680 --> 01:42:45,280
Speaker 1: the Holy Lessons because through all of this conflict that

1661
01:42:45,320 --> 01:42:48,120
Speaker 1: I've been in the midst of all this misunderstanding that

1662
01:42:48,120 --> 01:42:52,200
Speaker 1: I've been in the midst of, it's helped amplify love

1663
01:42:52,320 --> 01:42:56,400
Speaker 1: within my heart. It's made my heart more elastic hate,

1664
01:42:57,120 --> 01:43:00,920
Speaker 1: and I really have been able to understand how hate

1665
01:43:00,960 --> 01:43:06,400
Speaker 1: has a ceiling. You know, hate aggression, well, you know

1666
01:43:06,840 --> 01:43:12,720
Speaker 1: it has a ceiling, whereas love is oh wow, but

1667
01:43:12,800 --> 01:43:18,000
Speaker 1: it takes so much courage, and it's so easy to

1668
01:43:18,120 --> 01:43:22,240
Speaker 1: go into aggression. It's so easy to go into you know,

1669
01:43:22,840 --> 01:43:28,479
Speaker 1: hateful feelings. It's easy. And I can't blame anybody for

1670
01:43:28,560 --> 01:43:30,519
Speaker 1: doing it, and I have no judgment because guess what

1671
01:43:31,400 --> 01:43:32,160
Speaker 1: been there done that?

1672
01:43:33,479 --> 01:43:36,760
Speaker 2: You know, Joda, when you started today, you said that

1673
01:43:37,560 --> 01:43:41,600
Speaker 2: you know, this is your journey from being unlovable to

1674
01:43:41,720 --> 01:43:45,880
Speaker 2: trying to find love again. And it's really it's really

1675
01:43:45,920 --> 01:43:47,840
Speaker 2: the true story of all of our lives, of just

1676
01:43:48,080 --> 01:43:52,760
Speaker 2: we're all on that journey of being unlovable, thinking that

1677
01:43:52,880 --> 01:43:56,559
Speaker 2: if someone loves us, we'll be fine. Then thinking that

1678
01:43:56,960 --> 01:43:59,760
Speaker 2: if we get or achieve this will be fine. Then

1679
01:43:59,800 --> 01:44:03,000
Speaker 2: they if I love this person perfectly, then I'll be fine.

1680
01:44:03,560 --> 01:44:07,439
Speaker 2: And it's that we keep filling in that the sentence

1681
01:44:07,479 --> 01:44:10,960
Speaker 2: between unlovable with too lovable, with so many versions. And

1682
01:44:11,000 --> 01:44:16,439
Speaker 2: I think what this book, this memoir does so beautifully, honestly,

1683
01:44:17,120 --> 01:44:19,640
Speaker 2: is you show us every version that you tried to

1684
01:44:19,760 --> 01:44:21,240
Speaker 2: fit in.

1685
01:44:21,200 --> 01:44:24,200
Speaker 1: That gap, right, every version.

1686
01:44:23,960 --> 01:44:27,280
Speaker 2: Every version that you to fit in that gap. You're

1687
01:44:27,280 --> 01:44:29,760
Speaker 2: just showing us the reality of what that comes with,

1688
01:44:29,960 --> 01:44:32,639
Speaker 2: like the pain that comes with trying to fit everything

1689
01:44:32,680 --> 01:44:36,400
Speaker 2: into that gap. And I appreciate you for doing that

1690
01:44:36,439 --> 01:44:41,000
Speaker 2: because it's it's hard to not turn every story into

1691
01:44:41,040 --> 01:44:44,880
Speaker 2: a fairy tale ending, yeah, perfect ending, and there isn't

1692
01:44:44,960 --> 01:44:48,639
Speaker 2: that here, And I think that that's what truly makes

1693
01:44:48,680 --> 01:44:51,720
Speaker 2: it relatable. It's what truly makes it applicable wherever we

1694
01:44:51,760 --> 01:44:55,080
Speaker 2: are on our journeys on that spectrum and anyone else's.

1695
01:44:55,960 --> 01:44:58,400
Speaker 2: And it's why I said that I really hope that

1696
01:44:58,439 --> 01:45:02,439
Speaker 2: anyone is on that journey themselves, we'll pick this book

1697
01:45:02,520 --> 01:45:06,519
Speaker 2: up and be able to notice which gap they're trying

1698
01:45:06,520 --> 01:45:09,479
Speaker 2: to fill it with, Yeah, and come back in if

1699
01:45:09,479 --> 01:45:12,360
Speaker 2: that sounds if that feels right.

1700
01:45:11,160 --> 01:45:16,240
Speaker 1: That's really right. It's like because you're right, it's like

1701
01:45:16,320 --> 01:45:18,040
Speaker 1: all these it's like, Okay, that didn't work, let me

1702
01:45:18,080 --> 01:45:20,240
Speaker 1: go over here, let me try this, and then it

1703
01:45:20,400 --> 01:45:25,720
Speaker 1: just nope. You got to you got to heal you,

1704
01:45:27,160 --> 01:45:30,799
Speaker 1: and you got to really get with a power higher

1705
01:45:30,840 --> 01:45:33,840
Speaker 1: than yourself. And I want to thank you for really

1706
01:45:34,560 --> 01:45:39,160
Speaker 1: being so helpful in so many ways, Jay, in regards

1707
01:45:39,200 --> 01:45:41,800
Speaker 1: to you talk about I mean, we've been on such

1708
01:45:41,840 --> 01:45:48,320
Speaker 1: a beautiful journey together in that way of just learning

1709
01:45:48,479 --> 01:45:56,600
Speaker 1: and deepening our relationship with God individually together. I so

1710
01:45:56,720 --> 01:45:59,200
Speaker 1: appreciate you for that. I mean, you have been so

1711
01:45:59,439 --> 01:46:00,719
Speaker 1: interestrument that way.

1712
01:46:01,600 --> 01:46:04,120
Speaker 2: I genuinely can't take any credit, like I'm not even,

1713
01:46:04,320 --> 01:46:07,320
Speaker 2: I'm not even and that's not even me, that's not

1714
01:46:07,360 --> 01:46:10,439
Speaker 2: me being umble and modest. It's it's me just saying

1715
01:46:10,479 --> 01:46:13,280
Speaker 2: that in the same way as you feel people came

1716
01:46:13,320 --> 01:46:17,040
Speaker 2: into your life to you know, accelerate their journey and

1717
01:46:17,160 --> 01:46:19,120
Speaker 2: reconnect you like you did the same for me and

1718
01:46:19,240 --> 01:46:22,000
Speaker 2: Radhi like a in a physical way. You all of

1719
01:46:22,040 --> 01:46:24,200
Speaker 2: you have given us so much family, We've celebrated so

1720
01:46:24,200 --> 01:46:28,400
Speaker 2: many thanksgivings. Yeah, we've had you over for sunga every

1721
01:46:28,680 --> 01:46:31,040
Speaker 2: you know, for days and days and weeks and months

1722
01:46:31,040 --> 01:46:33,880
Speaker 2: and years, and you know you've given us so much.

1723
01:46:33,960 --> 01:46:38,080
Speaker 2: And I don't I think that's what I think this

1724
01:46:38,160 --> 01:46:40,440
Speaker 2: book does. I think that's what we'll do for our friendships,

1725
01:46:40,479 --> 01:46:43,320
Speaker 2: is that I got the opportunity to build a friendship

1726
01:46:43,400 --> 01:46:48,080
Speaker 2: with you that was based on nothing else but healing,

1727
01:46:49,080 --> 01:46:54,840
Speaker 2: growth and the divine and that kind of relationship just

1728
01:46:54,920 --> 01:46:59,080
Speaker 2: has a different energy. It's really special when there's nothing else,

1729
01:46:59,400 --> 01:47:02,760
Speaker 2: there's nothing else that would have made our paths cross.

1730
01:47:03,280 --> 01:47:05,640
Speaker 2: We don't work together, we don't have we don't do

1731
01:47:05,720 --> 01:47:09,360
Speaker 2: business together, we don't have the same friends like you know.

1732
01:47:09,520 --> 01:47:12,960
Speaker 1: But but but this right.

1733
01:47:13,040 --> 01:47:17,559
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful to watch someone do the hardest work

1734
01:47:18,600 --> 01:47:20,680
Speaker 2: and I'm going, yeah, I need to do it too,

1735
01:47:21,880 --> 01:47:24,760
Speaker 2: Like and I admire it because I see it from

1736
01:47:24,840 --> 01:47:28,840
Speaker 2: that perspective with you, and I always have that You're

1737
01:47:28,840 --> 01:47:30,680
Speaker 2: not trying to take the easy way out. You're not

1738
01:47:30,920 --> 01:47:33,439
Speaker 2: You're not just looking to fix it with a band aid.

1739
01:47:33,520 --> 01:47:37,240
Speaker 2: You're not just hoping it will go away. You're like, no,

1740
01:47:37,360 --> 01:47:40,920
Speaker 2: I'm gonna sit there with it. That is just I

1741
01:47:41,120 --> 01:47:45,599
Speaker 2: just that is such an uncomfortable place naturally for ninety

1742
01:47:45,640 --> 01:47:48,040
Speaker 2: nine percent of people. Yeah, I'm in all of you

1743
01:47:48,120 --> 01:47:51,080
Speaker 2: because of it, and I always will be. And I'm

1744
01:47:51,120 --> 01:47:55,080
Speaker 2: just I'm I'm so happy that you decided to put

1745
01:47:55,080 --> 01:48:01,160
Speaker 2: it into writing because this isn't about clarifying. It isn't

1746
01:48:01,200 --> 01:48:04,800
Speaker 2: about people getting a sense of what really happened. That's

1747
01:48:04,840 --> 01:48:07,479
Speaker 2: not what it's about. It's about how can we sit

1748
01:48:07,520 --> 01:48:09,800
Speaker 2: through that discomfort that we're going through in our life

1749
01:48:10,120 --> 01:48:13,519
Speaker 2: and choose healing and growth even when it's the hardest

1750
01:48:13,520 --> 01:48:15,280
Speaker 2: thing and the farthest thing away from us.

1751
01:48:15,640 --> 01:48:18,920
Speaker 1: Listen, if things get cleared up from reading this book, great,

1752
01:48:19,160 --> 01:48:21,960
Speaker 1: but that's not the purpose, because I actually don't think

1753
01:48:22,120 --> 01:48:22,479
Speaker 1: you can.

1754
01:48:22,760 --> 01:48:23,120
Speaker 2: You can't.

1755
01:48:23,200 --> 01:48:27,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't. It'll just be more stirring up whatever

1756
01:48:27,439 --> 01:48:31,000
Speaker 1: other things right, And it's really which is why it's

1757
01:48:31,040 --> 01:48:34,000
Speaker 1: even more important to really be able to have a

1758
01:48:34,040 --> 01:48:38,040
Speaker 1: strong sense of self right, and not to be looking

1759
01:48:39,000 --> 01:48:46,720
Speaker 1: for external things to be to substitute what you have

1760
01:48:46,800 --> 01:48:50,800
Speaker 1: to have inside in order to know your place in

1761
01:48:50,840 --> 01:48:56,240
Speaker 1: this world. This place is crazy. And to try to

1762
01:48:56,280 --> 01:49:00,720
Speaker 1: make the material space, the material world a line in

1763
01:49:00,760 --> 01:49:04,000
Speaker 1: a way for your comfort. That's it can't start there.

1764
01:49:04,000 --> 01:49:09,160
Speaker 1: It has to start within yourself. That how you see

1765
01:49:09,960 --> 01:49:13,479
Speaker 1: and what you attract you is in alignment with what

1766
01:49:13,640 --> 01:49:16,920
Speaker 1: is happening here, right, But looking for the world to

1767
01:49:17,360 --> 01:49:22,200
Speaker 1: buoy you up or accept you in a certain manner. Nah,

1768
01:49:22,280 --> 01:49:24,200
Speaker 1: Like I said before this, can you just give some

1769
01:49:24,240 --> 01:49:27,439
Speaker 1: little bread crumbs to help people get to a sense

1770
01:49:27,439 --> 01:49:29,960
Speaker 1: of self worth that gives them that comfort no matter

1771
01:49:30,080 --> 01:49:36,719
Speaker 1: what is happening. You know, if you've brought freaking chocolate

1772
01:49:36,760 --> 01:49:41,519
Speaker 1: chip cookies with peanuts in them to the school fair

1773
01:49:42,680 --> 01:49:45,200
Speaker 1: even though kids might have allergies in the school that

1774
01:49:45,360 --> 01:49:49,840
Speaker 1: wrote you a letter and said don't bring products with peanuts,

1775
01:49:49,920 --> 01:49:54,639
Speaker 1: and yeah, right, you made them with love. And now

1776
01:49:54,920 --> 01:49:59,719
Speaker 1: the mom group is on your neck. You can be okay.

1777
01:50:00,680 --> 01:50:03,599
Speaker 1: You can be okay with your victories, and you can

1778
01:50:03,680 --> 01:50:09,840
Speaker 1: be okay with the inevitable challenges that life is going

1779
01:50:10,080 --> 01:50:18,439
Speaker 1: to deliver. It's okay either way. You're okay, You're worthy,

1780
01:50:19,160 --> 01:50:21,559
Speaker 1: you're lovable, peanuts and all.

1781
01:50:22,200 --> 01:50:24,160
Speaker 2: So, Jada, one of the things that you mentioned was

1782
01:50:24,240 --> 01:50:29,280
Speaker 2: that you went to the Oscars as family, but not

1783
01:50:29,439 --> 01:50:33,559
Speaker 2: as a wife. Yeah, and I wanted to ask you,

1784
01:50:34,040 --> 01:50:37,639
Speaker 2: how do you define the status of your relationship now and.

1785
01:50:39,280 --> 01:50:42,200
Speaker 1: What is it like, you know right now? Of course,

1786
01:50:42,240 --> 01:50:46,280
Speaker 1: we've had it's been an intense two years and we've

1787
01:50:46,320 --> 01:50:51,240
Speaker 1: really been doing some deep healing together. And that's why

1788
01:50:51,280 --> 01:50:56,439
Speaker 1: I was saying before, the idea of how just really

1789
01:50:57,000 --> 01:51:02,599
Speaker 1: disruptive situations can amplify love in a certain manner because

1790
01:51:03,120 --> 01:51:07,200
Speaker 1: it kind of forces you to have to dive a

1791
01:51:07,280 --> 01:51:09,800
Speaker 1: little deeper. That's what we've been doing. We've just been

1792
01:51:09,840 --> 01:51:15,479
Speaker 1: growing together and see what happens, then see what grows

1793
01:51:15,560 --> 01:51:16,160
Speaker 1: from there.

1794
01:51:16,479 --> 01:51:16,720
Speaker 2: You know.

1795
01:51:17,000 --> 01:51:20,720
Speaker 1: But like I said in the book, it's like we

1796
01:51:20,800 --> 01:51:26,840
Speaker 1: have this beautiful friendship and we really look at our

1797
01:51:27,000 --> 01:51:33,240
Speaker 1: marriage as being the cornerstone of family. We're both kind

1798
01:51:33,280 --> 01:51:38,839
Speaker 1: of coming up with different definitions of what marriage means

1799
01:51:38,840 --> 01:51:42,840
Speaker 1: for us. We're still figuring all of that out. Yeah,

1800
01:51:42,880 --> 01:51:47,639
Speaker 1: but the beautiful part is that there's been some really

1801
01:51:47,720 --> 01:51:52,000
Speaker 1: deep healing going on. Yeah, I mean you know that.

1802
01:51:52,439 --> 01:51:54,160
Speaker 1: I mean, at the end of the day, that's what

1803
01:51:54,200 --> 01:51:59,679
Speaker 1: it's about. Marriage is so much about growth, like really

1804
01:51:59,760 --> 01:52:06,240
Speaker 1: learn how to grow emotionally, like emotional maturity, spiritual maturity,

1805
01:52:06,960 --> 01:52:12,000
Speaker 1: and there's this spiritual bond there. I mean, we've tried

1806
01:52:12,000 --> 01:52:14,000
Speaker 1: our best to get away from each other. I mean,

1807
01:52:14,400 --> 01:52:19,720
Speaker 1: I mean our best, and we just don't want to.

1808
01:52:20,920 --> 01:52:27,960
Speaker 1: So we are defining it the way that works for us,

1809
01:52:28,800 --> 01:52:34,240
Speaker 1: and I think getting comfortable with not being concerned about

1810
01:52:34,840 --> 01:52:38,519
Speaker 1: what anybody else thinks about it. We have this life

1811
01:52:38,520 --> 01:52:43,599
Speaker 1: partnership and every day we're trying to figure out what

1812
01:52:43,640 --> 01:52:44,200
Speaker 1: that means.

1813
01:52:45,000 --> 01:52:47,880
Speaker 2: You've both talked about how you feel like you're a

1814
01:52:47,920 --> 01:52:50,960
Speaker 2: mirror for each other. Yeah, and when I've spoken to

1815
01:52:50,960 --> 01:52:52,600
Speaker 2: Will as well, it's like he feels like you're the

1816
01:52:52,600 --> 01:52:54,880
Speaker 2: person who knows him to his call.

1817
01:52:55,200 --> 01:52:58,799
Speaker 1: Absolutely, he know you to your care.

1818
01:52:58,760 --> 01:53:02,720
Speaker 2: Like you know everything. Yeah, that potentially there is to

1819
01:53:02,720 --> 01:53:05,599
Speaker 2: know about each other, and you're obviously still learning.

1820
01:53:05,760 --> 01:53:06,320
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1821
01:53:06,400 --> 01:53:08,479
Speaker 2: What's really interesting about that is some people would say, well,

1822
01:53:08,520 --> 01:53:09,599
Speaker 2: why not just get divorced.

1823
01:53:09,640 --> 01:53:13,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, everybody's always like, why don't you just get divorced?

1824
01:53:13,800 --> 01:53:18,200
Speaker 1: And it's like, hmm, that's like quitting I don't think

1825
01:53:18,240 --> 01:53:21,840
Speaker 1: there's any person that could embrace the best and the

1826
01:53:21,880 --> 01:53:26,679
Speaker 1: worst of me and be able be willing to hold

1827
01:53:26,840 --> 01:53:30,200
Speaker 1: space in the way that will hold space for me

1828
01:53:30,680 --> 01:53:33,280
Speaker 1: and the way that I hold space for him. And

1829
01:53:34,080 --> 01:53:37,880
Speaker 1: I know that most people probably go into their relationship

1830
01:53:38,760 --> 01:53:43,200
Speaker 1: as like you were here to please me, and yeah,

1831
01:53:43,240 --> 01:53:44,839
Speaker 1: our relationship isn't quite.

1832
01:53:44,640 --> 01:53:46,519
Speaker 2: That, you know.

1833
01:53:46,640 --> 01:53:51,000
Speaker 1: It's like it's more about there's no greater mirror I

1834
01:53:51,040 --> 01:53:56,360
Speaker 1: could have than will he doesn't. I can't get around

1835
01:53:56,439 --> 01:54:00,120
Speaker 1: myself just like he can't get around himself with me.

1836
01:54:00,479 --> 01:54:04,880
Speaker 1: And I think that that's just been what this has

1837
01:54:04,920 --> 01:54:09,439
Speaker 1: been all about, Like it's been a deep clearing, like

1838
01:54:09,600 --> 01:54:13,439
Speaker 1: really having to look at yourself in ways in that

1839
01:54:13,640 --> 01:54:16,719
Speaker 1: mirror that Sure, we talk about this all the time.

1840
01:54:17,160 --> 01:54:20,000
Speaker 1: Would it be easier to go and find somebody else

1841
01:54:20,040 --> 01:54:24,519
Speaker 1: and have a more pleasing, more comfortable relationship, maybe, But

1842
01:54:24,600 --> 01:54:27,719
Speaker 1: would that get me to the person that I really

1843
01:54:27,760 --> 01:54:30,880
Speaker 1: want to be? I don't think so. And I'm not

1844
01:54:30,960 --> 01:54:34,040
Speaker 1: saying that everybody's relationship is supposed to be that. I'm

1845
01:54:34,080 --> 01:54:36,520
Speaker 1: not here to say that. I'm just saying that that's

1846
01:54:36,560 --> 01:54:42,800
Speaker 1: what my relationship is, that's something I desire to get.

1847
01:54:42,600 --> 01:54:43,080
Speaker 2: To a.

1848
01:54:45,000 --> 01:54:52,160
Speaker 1: Deeper part a more spiritually sound, emotionally sound and really

1849
01:54:52,360 --> 01:54:59,120
Speaker 1: understand love unconditionally. And the thing that I've learned about

1850
01:54:59,560 --> 01:55:04,600
Speaker 1: uncondition love, you can't really understand what unconditional love and

1851
01:55:04,880 --> 01:55:11,720
Speaker 1: ideal circumstances to really get to what it is to

1852
01:55:11,920 --> 01:55:19,600
Speaker 1: love yourself and someone else completely with all that's divine,

1853
01:55:20,600 --> 01:55:24,960
Speaker 1: all that's human, all that's perfect, and all that is

1854
01:55:25,200 --> 01:55:30,240
Speaker 1: deeply flawed, and have full acceptance for it. All I

1855
01:55:30,320 --> 01:55:35,160
Speaker 1: tell you this is you know, marriage is not for

1856
01:55:35,200 --> 01:55:39,080
Speaker 1: the faint at heart. It's just not. And it is

1857
01:55:39,120 --> 01:55:44,160
Speaker 1: definitely I believe, I believe. You know, different people get

1858
01:55:44,160 --> 01:55:46,080
Speaker 1: married for different reasons, so I'm not trying to say

1859
01:55:46,080 --> 01:55:49,360
Speaker 1: why anybody else should be married. But for me, the

1860
01:55:49,400 --> 01:55:54,280
Speaker 1: holy path of getting to a divine aspect of myself

1861
01:55:54,920 --> 01:55:58,200
Speaker 1: in partnership with Will, and it seems like Will wants

1862
01:55:58,200 --> 01:56:01,080
Speaker 1: the same for himself, and it's taken us, you know,

1863
01:56:01,160 --> 01:56:05,520
Speaker 1: I mean, we got together it what. I was twenty three, okay,

1864
01:56:06,280 --> 01:56:14,840
Speaker 1: twenty three when I first decided to commit myself to

1865
01:56:14,880 --> 01:56:23,120
Speaker 1: Willard Carrol Smith, Lord Jesus, so young, so young. We

1866
01:56:23,120 --> 01:56:26,400
Speaker 1: were babies, babies trying to figure this out. And you

1867
01:56:26,480 --> 01:56:30,440
Speaker 1: know what's interesting about young relationships you create these young

1868
01:56:30,520 --> 01:56:35,560
Speaker 1: patterns that get so like these really young, immature patterns

1869
01:56:35,760 --> 01:56:40,160
Speaker 1: in yourself and how you relate to your partner, and

1870
01:56:40,200 --> 01:56:44,760
Speaker 1: then you create these dynamics between one another that it

1871
01:56:44,920 --> 01:56:49,480
Speaker 1: takes a while to like really be willing to look

1872
01:56:49,520 --> 01:56:51,680
Speaker 1: at that stuff and dissolve it and let it go

1873
01:56:51,920 --> 01:57:02,320
Speaker 1: immature and grow. It takes some real like self inventory, patience, courage, right,

1874
01:57:02,440 --> 01:57:09,680
Speaker 1: because you're breaking down everything, all your romantic ideas, everything

1875
01:57:09,760 --> 01:57:15,040
Speaker 1: you thought you know, relationship or marriage, all your romantic

1876
01:57:15,080 --> 01:57:20,880
Speaker 1: fantasies you know, just you know, blow up in flames.

1877
01:57:21,000 --> 01:57:28,920
Speaker 1: But it's really been freeing. It's really been freeing to

1878
01:57:28,960 --> 01:57:30,440
Speaker 1: see what's more true.

1879
01:57:31,800 --> 01:57:32,000
Speaker 2: Right.

1880
01:57:32,240 --> 01:57:35,080
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that I know the truth yet. I

1881
01:57:35,120 --> 01:57:38,560
Speaker 1: just feel like I'm seeing more of what's true, you know,

1882
01:57:38,640 --> 01:57:44,280
Speaker 1: as regards to what love and partnership is about. Because

1883
01:57:44,280 --> 01:57:46,840
Speaker 1: I was definitely one of those people that's like, you're

1884
01:57:46,880 --> 01:57:49,800
Speaker 1: here to make me happy, and when you don't do it,

1885
01:57:50,680 --> 01:57:51,480
Speaker 1: that's a problem.

1886
01:57:51,560 --> 01:57:54,760
Speaker 2: And that's a normal setup. That's how we believe relationships are.

1887
01:57:54,800 --> 01:57:57,880
Speaker 2: And you know, I've talked about it before and I

1888
01:57:57,920 --> 01:58:01,040
Speaker 2: put it forward in my book, this idea that we

1889
01:58:01,120 --> 01:58:05,880
Speaker 2: think pleasure is the ultimate gift of a relationship. But

1890
01:58:06,000 --> 01:58:11,800
Speaker 2: really purification is and that's a really tough idea for anyone,

1891
01:58:11,840 --> 01:58:14,320
Speaker 2: including me. I haven't perfected that idea for me to

1892
01:58:14,360 --> 01:58:18,240
Speaker 2: wrap my head around. And I can honestly say that

1893
01:58:18,880 --> 01:58:21,600
Speaker 2: I love Radi and you know you've seen us both

1894
01:58:21,600 --> 01:58:24,560
Speaker 2: together and everything. But the greatest gift Radi gives me

1895
01:58:24,680 --> 01:58:29,440
Speaker 2: is a mirror and a purification of Rady can call

1896
01:58:29,480 --> 01:58:32,360
Speaker 2: out my ego better than anyone or anything, and I

1897
01:58:32,480 --> 01:58:35,560
Speaker 2: know it's coming from a good place. Radi can show

1898
01:58:35,640 --> 01:58:39,600
Speaker 2: me my flaws in the nicest, most supportive way possible

1899
01:58:39,640 --> 01:58:43,760
Speaker 2: and can receive it back from me. And then I

1900
01:58:43,800 --> 01:58:47,560
Speaker 2: feel like because of her, I'm trying to be better,

1901
01:58:47,560 --> 01:58:48,320
Speaker 2: getting better, not.

1902
01:58:48,400 --> 01:58:50,680
Speaker 1: For her, for myself.

1903
01:58:51,600 --> 01:58:54,200
Speaker 2: It's almost like the person that you live with knows

1904
01:58:54,240 --> 01:58:56,480
Speaker 2: you so deeply, or the person that you've seen has

1905
01:58:56,520 --> 01:59:00,600
Speaker 2: seen you in all circumstances, in all situations, knows you

1906
01:59:00,680 --> 01:59:02,920
Speaker 2: the deepest. I always say, Roddy knows whether I woke

1907
01:59:03,000 --> 01:59:05,560
Speaker 2: up in meditated in the morning. Yeah, Like Radley knows

1908
01:59:05,600 --> 01:59:08,120
Speaker 2: whether I got angry or frustrated at night after a

1909
01:59:08,120 --> 01:59:11,400
Speaker 2: phone call. Like Radley knows that. And if I use

1910
01:59:11,480 --> 01:59:15,480
Speaker 2: that to my advantage of am I becoming? Am I growing?

1911
01:59:16,080 --> 01:59:18,480
Speaker 2: But it's such a hard concept for people to understand

1912
01:59:18,480 --> 01:59:24,040
Speaker 2: because it's so counterintuitive to the pleasure seeking mind that

1913
01:59:24,080 --> 01:59:27,360
Speaker 2: we've been conditioned to chase. And again, I'm not saying

1914
01:59:27,360 --> 01:59:29,640
Speaker 2: we shouldn't have a pleasure in relationship. That's not the

1915
01:59:29,640 --> 01:59:32,360
Speaker 2: point I'm making. I'm just saying that there's more to it,

1916
01:59:32,400 --> 01:59:33,360
Speaker 2: There's another level.

1917
01:59:33,560 --> 01:59:36,000
Speaker 1: There's definitely more to it. And I think we've talked

1918
01:59:36,000 --> 01:59:38,600
Speaker 1: about this before, you and I as far as people

1919
01:59:38,640 --> 01:59:45,000
Speaker 1: believing that romantic love is the highest form. Now, I

1920
01:59:45,200 --> 01:59:53,160
Speaker 1: believe that romantic love is an aspect right of a

1921
01:59:53,240 --> 01:59:57,320
Speaker 1: higher form, But I don't believe that romantic self romantic

1922
01:59:57,400 --> 02:00:01,560
Speaker 1: love itself is the highest form right. I believe within

1923
02:00:01,640 --> 02:00:04,800
Speaker 1: the highest form you can have romantic love, but that

1924
02:00:04,920 --> 02:00:10,320
Speaker 1: romantic love is not of the highest right. And that's

1925
02:00:10,400 --> 02:00:18,200
Speaker 1: all I've been examining and exploring with Will and really

1926
02:00:18,240 --> 02:00:24,720
Speaker 1: trying to understand the power of unconditional love, friendship, Like

1927
02:00:24,920 --> 02:00:34,280
Speaker 1: there's something about friendship, familial love that is beautiful. But

1928
02:00:34,440 --> 02:00:40,320
Speaker 1: when two people can have an agreement around divine love,

1929
02:00:42,120 --> 02:00:48,480
Speaker 1: like love of a source greater than yourself that you

1930
02:00:48,520 --> 02:00:52,400
Speaker 1: want to be connected to, and then you decide that

1931
02:00:52,640 --> 02:00:55,680
Speaker 1: your relationship is going to be connected to that same source.

1932
02:00:58,720 --> 02:01:03,320
Speaker 1: Oh boy, now we're on to something. Now we're onto something.

1933
02:01:04,320 --> 02:01:11,800
Speaker 1: But to think that romantic love can hold all of

1934
02:01:11,880 --> 02:01:17,120
Speaker 1: the difficulties and challenges alone, And I think that's why

1935
02:01:17,200 --> 02:01:20,560
Speaker 1: so many of us get into these power struggles. And

1936
02:01:20,920 --> 02:01:23,240
Speaker 1: while there's so many divorces and why they're you know,

1937
02:01:23,360 --> 02:01:26,760
Speaker 1: just all of this strife and relationships, you brought up

1938
02:01:26,760 --> 02:01:32,040
Speaker 1: something that was really important and it's the idea of

1939
02:01:32,280 --> 02:01:36,560
Speaker 1: Roddy when she can kind of pull your coattails with love.

1940
02:01:37,160 --> 02:01:39,840
Speaker 1: And I think that's it takes a lot of work

1941
02:01:40,360 --> 02:01:44,200
Speaker 1: to figure that out, like to not be offended when

1942
02:01:45,040 --> 02:01:50,040
Speaker 1: someone shows up imperfectly, and that those are those kind

1943
02:01:50,080 --> 02:01:54,720
Speaker 1: of pieces within relationship, Like we feel like people are

1944
02:01:54,720 --> 02:01:57,480
Speaker 1: supposed to come ready made. You walk down the aisland,

1945
02:01:57,520 --> 02:02:00,520
Speaker 1: it's like he knows how to love me, you know,

1946
02:02:00,680 --> 02:02:03,560
Speaker 1: I know how to love him, you know, and not

1947
02:02:03,760 --> 02:02:09,120
Speaker 1: making room for that space of growth that is inevitable.

1948
02:02:09,280 --> 02:02:11,160
Speaker 1: People are going to mess up, People are going to

1949
02:02:11,240 --> 02:02:14,560
Speaker 1: do stupid stuff, People are gonna say stupid stuff. Now,

1950
02:02:15,440 --> 02:02:17,280
Speaker 1: when it comes to abuse and all of that, that's

1951
02:02:17,320 --> 02:02:22,879
Speaker 1: a different story, right, But people who are willing to

1952
02:02:23,120 --> 02:02:27,040
Speaker 1: learn how to love each other, because I really do

1953
02:02:27,120 --> 02:02:32,840
Speaker 1: think that's what committed relationships, about marriage or not. I'm

1954
02:02:32,920 --> 02:02:36,840
Speaker 1: committed to learning how to love myself, learning how to

1955
02:02:36,920 --> 02:02:40,840
Speaker 1: love you right, and then learning how to cultivate this

1956
02:02:41,760 --> 02:02:47,920
Speaker 1: relationship that we have with that essence, with those components.

1957
02:02:49,000 --> 02:02:55,320
Speaker 1: Then that's a beautiful thing. That's what I believe the

1958
02:02:55,360 --> 02:02:59,160
Speaker 1: holy path of relating is all about. And not everybody

1959
02:02:59,200 --> 02:03:02,960
Speaker 1: wants that totally. You know, some people really just want

1960
02:03:03,200 --> 02:03:05,080
Speaker 1: the romantic version of it, and.

1961
02:03:04,960 --> 02:03:07,360
Speaker 2: That's okay too, Absolutely, that's.

1962
02:03:07,160 --> 02:03:12,960
Speaker 1: Okay too, you know. But for me definitely on that

1963
02:03:13,080 --> 02:03:20,320
Speaker 1: path of looking for something deeper within myself mostly, Yeah.

1964
02:03:21,080 --> 02:03:25,520
Speaker 2: How did you let go of that desire for romantic

1965
02:03:25,600 --> 02:03:28,320
Speaker 2: love but then hold onto the friendship? Because I feel

1966
02:03:28,360 --> 02:03:32,760
Speaker 2: like that's a journey that is so hard, whether someone

1967
02:03:32,800 --> 02:03:35,880
Speaker 2: stays married or gets divorced or like you both are

1968
02:03:35,920 --> 02:03:38,720
Speaker 2: you described yourself as best friends. How did you hold

1969
02:03:38,760 --> 02:03:43,000
Speaker 2: onto friendship being able to let go of the mirage

1970
02:03:43,160 --> 02:03:45,440
Speaker 2: that you had earlier, or even not even the mirage

1971
02:03:45,480 --> 02:03:47,480
Speaker 2: the reality of what you had earlier, as you talk

1972
02:03:47,520 --> 02:03:49,920
Speaker 2: about in the book, you know, the chemistry, the spark.

1973
02:03:49,960 --> 02:03:51,840
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, so many of us are trying to

1974
02:03:51,880 --> 02:03:54,520
Speaker 2: hold onto that, but you've let go of that, And

1975
02:03:54,520 --> 02:03:56,480
Speaker 2: then you're saying, but we've held on to the friendship,

1976
02:03:56,560 --> 02:03:59,720
Speaker 2: the mirror, the work, the growth. That sounds like the

1977
02:03:59,720 --> 02:04:01,160
Speaker 2: hard way through it.

1978
02:04:01,440 --> 02:04:05,520
Speaker 1: I think it's how people show up, and people don't

1979
02:04:05,560 --> 02:04:11,840
Speaker 1: always show up perfect clearly. But one thing about Will

1980
02:04:11,840 --> 02:04:16,240
Speaker 1: and I, we're just not willing to give up. It's like,

1981
02:04:17,040 --> 02:04:19,920
Speaker 1: I'm lucky that we just want to have each other

1982
02:04:20,320 --> 02:04:25,200
Speaker 1: in one another's life. Right, you have moments of disharmony,

1983
02:04:26,920 --> 02:04:31,120
Speaker 1: but if you know that you're not willing to not

1984
02:04:31,240 --> 02:04:34,560
Speaker 1: have that person in your life, you know you got

1985
02:04:34,560 --> 02:04:37,200
Speaker 1: to put forth the effort and you got to put

1986
02:04:37,240 --> 02:04:43,000
Speaker 1: forth the work to transform whatever's not working. So we

1987
02:04:43,160 --> 02:04:49,080
Speaker 1: always make the decision to take that one step closer

1988
02:04:50,120 --> 02:04:56,040
Speaker 1: to diving more deeply to learning how to love. And

1989
02:04:56,240 --> 02:04:59,720
Speaker 1: most of the time it has more to do with

1990
02:05:00,920 --> 02:05:06,440
Speaker 1: self inventory, having to go on the corner and look

1991
02:05:06,480 --> 02:05:11,520
Speaker 1: at oneself and then come back and go, I was tripping,

1992
02:05:12,920 --> 02:05:17,040
Speaker 1: whether it's I'm sorry or I had a misunderstanding. Can

1993
02:05:17,080 --> 02:05:20,360
Speaker 1: we look at this now together, Because now I've looked

1994
02:05:20,360 --> 02:05:23,960
Speaker 1: at it in my corner alone, and I've seen my part,

1995
02:05:25,400 --> 02:05:28,160
Speaker 1: and I want to talk to you first about my

1996
02:05:28,280 --> 02:05:36,360
Speaker 1: part ABC and D right, and then inevitably usually your

1997
02:05:36,400 --> 02:05:39,960
Speaker 1: partner go, well, you know, I could have done such

1998
02:05:40,000 --> 02:05:44,360
Speaker 1: and such a such, and so when you have an

1999
02:05:44,400 --> 02:05:48,160
Speaker 1: agreement that's really unspoken of, like I want you in

2000
02:05:48,200 --> 02:05:51,360
Speaker 1: my life and I want to have good times with

2001
02:05:51,400 --> 02:05:56,480
Speaker 1: you and I love you, then that's the energy that

2002
02:05:57,800 --> 02:06:05,080
Speaker 1: nurtures and keeps one willing to just keep working at it.

2003
02:06:06,160 --> 02:06:09,840
Speaker 1: So there's that deep love. And the great thing is

2004
02:06:09,880 --> 02:06:13,480
Speaker 1: that Will's got a great sense of humor, you know

2005
02:06:13,560 --> 02:06:15,800
Speaker 1: what I mean. He's got a really good sense of humor.

2006
02:06:16,560 --> 02:06:19,720
Speaker 1: So he has a way of being able to help

2007
02:06:19,720 --> 02:06:22,360
Speaker 1: me get out of my funk. But I'm kind of

2008
02:06:22,400 --> 02:06:24,320
Speaker 1: like you talk about this a lot with Roddy, where

2009
02:06:24,320 --> 02:06:25,920
Speaker 1: I kind of have to take my time, Like I'm

2010
02:06:25,920 --> 02:06:28,400
Speaker 1: not always ready to talk right away. I need to

2011
02:06:28,520 --> 02:06:31,080
Speaker 1: like sit, I need to be with myself, I need

2012
02:06:31,120 --> 02:06:32,960
Speaker 1: to kind of like work through my thoughts and all

2013
02:06:33,000 --> 02:06:37,040
Speaker 1: of that. Where Will is always ready to talk. I

2014
02:06:37,120 --> 02:06:39,760
Speaker 1: like to go deep. He likes to get funny. The

2015
02:06:39,800 --> 02:06:43,800
Speaker 1: great thing about him, he can go deep. And there

2016
02:06:43,840 --> 02:06:45,960
Speaker 1: are times that I really like to play and have fun.

2017
02:06:46,600 --> 02:06:51,000
Speaker 1: So we're like these energetic fields, you know, I'm Earth

2018
02:06:51,040 --> 02:06:56,000
Speaker 1: and he's Sky. You know, we are your typical Yin

2019
02:06:56,040 --> 02:07:01,000
Speaker 1: and yang. You know that. You know, there's this great

2020
02:07:01,760 --> 02:07:05,960
Speaker 1: chemistry there between us that just works. And but when

2021
02:07:06,000 --> 02:07:13,920
Speaker 1: it doesn't work, oh man, oh man, oh man. You

2022
02:07:14,000 --> 02:07:17,280
Speaker 1: know what I mean those moments, but it's just like, ah,

2023
02:07:17,280 --> 02:07:20,160
Speaker 1: but I think that's just inevitable in every relationship.

2024
02:07:20,240 --> 02:07:22,880
Speaker 2: You know, But it just doesn't look traditional. I think

2025
02:07:22,880 --> 02:07:24,720
Speaker 2: that's the point. That's that's the part where it's like,

2026
02:07:25,200 --> 02:07:28,680
Speaker 2: it just doesn't look traditional. It well, yes, there's the trust,

2027
02:07:28,800 --> 02:07:33,120
Speaker 2: there's commitments. Yeah, there's understanding, and at the same time,

2028
02:07:33,160 --> 02:07:34,240
Speaker 2: it doesn't look.

2029
02:07:34,240 --> 02:07:37,560
Speaker 1: It doesn't look traditional. I don't know, I'm being honest

2030
02:07:37,600 --> 02:07:43,320
Speaker 1: with you. There are aspects of traditional relating that absolutely work.

2031
02:07:45,360 --> 02:07:48,440
Speaker 1: But I think in this day and age, I don't

2032
02:07:48,480 --> 02:07:54,960
Speaker 1: know too many marriages that are traditional. I really don't.

2033
02:07:55,080 --> 02:08:00,640
Speaker 1: Everybody is trying to figure it out, right, and I

2034
02:08:00,640 --> 02:08:05,400
Speaker 1: think everybody's so scared to talk about all of the

2035
02:08:05,400 --> 02:08:08,800
Speaker 1: different ways that they're trying to figure it out. I

2036
02:08:08,840 --> 02:08:12,760
Speaker 1: know so many people who are like married but not

2037
02:08:12,880 --> 02:08:17,400
Speaker 1: living together, married but have decided to have other partners.

2038
02:08:17,840 --> 02:08:20,040
Speaker 1: I know so many people and have for a long

2039
02:08:20,120 --> 02:08:26,120
Speaker 1: time that are trying marriage in so many different forms,

2040
02:08:27,960 --> 02:08:32,720
Speaker 1: and my whole thing is figure it out for you.

2041
02:08:34,120 --> 02:08:39,760
Speaker 1: Marriage is not a cookie cut out like formula. Besides,

2042
02:08:40,600 --> 02:08:44,920
Speaker 1: I do think that there's some staples you know, love,

2043
02:08:46,440 --> 02:08:49,400
Speaker 1: but he did not let me take that out for

2044
02:08:49,480 --> 02:08:52,400
Speaker 1: a second. There's some people who are married strictly for

2045
02:08:52,480 --> 02:08:56,480
Speaker 1: business purposes. I've seen that too. As long as there's

2046
02:08:56,560 --> 02:08:59,800
Speaker 1: agreement between two people and how they decide they want

2047
02:08:59,800 --> 02:09:02,920
Speaker 1: to be together, stay out of it. It has nothing

2048
02:09:03,000 --> 02:09:05,520
Speaker 1: to do. I tell people all the time, don't look

2049
02:09:05,560 --> 02:09:10,160
Speaker 1: at my marriage as being contagious. Whatever I'm doing doesn't

2050
02:09:10,200 --> 02:09:13,520
Speaker 1: mean you got to be doing that. You got to

2051
02:09:13,560 --> 02:09:15,440
Speaker 1: be doing the thing that works for you. And I

2052
02:09:15,480 --> 02:09:20,760
Speaker 1: feel like every partnership two people have the right to

2053
02:09:20,800 --> 02:09:21,960
Speaker 1: figure that out for them.

2054
02:09:22,280 --> 02:09:24,680
Speaker 2: And it's so different in norms, in different cultures and

2055
02:09:24,720 --> 02:09:27,800
Speaker 2: different backgrounds. I mean, like for me and Radi, we

2056
02:09:27,880 --> 02:09:31,280
Speaker 2: spend a lot of time apart because she likes to

2057
02:09:31,320 --> 02:09:33,240
Speaker 2: be back with her family in London and I travel

2058
02:09:33,280 --> 02:09:36,880
Speaker 2: for work, and so we discovered and agreed very early

2059
02:09:36,920 --> 02:09:40,640
Speaker 2: on in our relationship that when I work, she would

2060
02:09:40,840 --> 02:09:43,400
Speaker 2: often visit her family back in London and she loves

2061
02:09:43,440 --> 02:09:44,920
Speaker 2: it and she wants to be with her mom and

2062
02:09:45,000 --> 02:09:46,920
Speaker 2: dad and her niece and nephew and her sister and

2063
02:09:46,920 --> 02:09:49,920
Speaker 2: brother in law and everyone. And I love my purpose

2064
02:09:49,960 --> 02:09:51,640
Speaker 2: and I want to be traveling. I want to be working,

2065
02:09:51,640 --> 02:09:53,960
Speaker 2: I want to be moving. And I remember so many

2066
02:09:53,960 --> 02:09:56,320
Speaker 2: times in our relationship people be like, is everything okay? Yeah,

2067
02:09:57,360 --> 02:09:59,160
Speaker 2: And then we go back to London, people be like,

2068
02:09:59,200 --> 02:10:00,960
Speaker 2: why's your wife not with you? Or people like why

2069
02:10:01,040 --> 02:10:05,320
Speaker 2: jin not with you? And everyone starts thinking that there

2070
02:10:05,360 --> 02:10:07,320
Speaker 2: may be something going on, and it's actually, well, no,

2071
02:10:07,440 --> 02:10:10,280
Speaker 2: this was our agreement. This is something we've sat and

2072
02:10:10,400 --> 02:10:13,440
Speaker 2: talked about and figured things out, and actually we love

2073
02:10:13,520 --> 02:10:15,600
Speaker 2: distance because we get excited to see each other again.

2074
02:10:15,960 --> 02:10:18,880
Speaker 2: It's refreshing. It works for us, and again it may

2075
02:10:18,920 --> 02:10:21,000
Speaker 2: not work for anyone else. Someone may say I need

2076
02:10:21,000 --> 02:10:23,520
Speaker 2: my partner by my set every day fair enough, and

2077
02:10:23,560 --> 02:10:25,760
Speaker 2: someone may say I want to travel more than you

2078
02:10:25,800 --> 02:10:29,440
Speaker 2: do or less. But we just found that having honest

2079
02:10:29,480 --> 02:10:33,600
Speaker 2: conversations between us and knowing why we were making certain

2080
02:10:33,640 --> 02:10:37,640
Speaker 2: decisions even though they were abnormal to our community, the

2081
02:10:37,640 --> 02:10:39,920
Speaker 2: community that we grew up in, where the way we

2082
02:10:39,960 --> 02:10:45,080
Speaker 2: live is very abnormal, even though it's just about time apart.

2083
02:10:45,480 --> 02:10:47,440
Speaker 2: The point was we had an agreement that worked for us,

2084
02:10:47,440 --> 02:10:49,560
Speaker 2: and I think getting to know you both, I can

2085
02:10:49,600 --> 02:10:51,640
Speaker 2: honestly say that I feel like you guys are both

2086
02:10:51,680 --> 02:10:54,880
Speaker 2: always honest and communicative with each other on what your

2087
02:10:54,960 --> 02:10:55,720
Speaker 2: agreements are.

2088
02:10:55,960 --> 02:10:57,480
Speaker 1: Absolutely, and that's what we.

2089
02:10:57,560 --> 02:11:00,960
Speaker 2: Have been discussing today as well, that there's always been

2090
02:11:01,000 --> 02:11:04,200
Speaker 2: that that openness to do that.

2091
02:11:04,440 --> 02:11:06,080
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well, I talk about it a lot in

2092
02:11:06,120 --> 02:11:08,720
Speaker 1: the book, and I think that a lot of people

2093
02:11:08,760 --> 02:11:12,040
Speaker 1: had a lot of misunderstanding as we talked about earlier.

2094
02:11:12,080 --> 02:11:16,000
Speaker 1: I believe in regards to open relationship and being able

2095
02:11:16,040 --> 02:11:19,320
Speaker 1: to be with whoever you want. Now, that's not what

2096
02:11:19,520 --> 02:11:22,000
Speaker 1: was happening. And I think a lot of times that

2097
02:11:22,800 --> 02:11:27,080
Speaker 1: people just didn't know that we had agreed to not

2098
02:11:27,200 --> 02:11:31,400
Speaker 1: be together. As we were trying to figure out are

2099
02:11:31,400 --> 02:11:33,840
Speaker 1: we going to be separated? Are we going to be divorced?

2100
02:11:34,000 --> 02:11:36,240
Speaker 1: Then we would reconcile, and then we would break up again,

2101
02:11:36,520 --> 02:11:39,480
Speaker 1: and there's all this back and forth between us that

2102
02:11:40,120 --> 02:11:42,400
Speaker 1: we didn't share with the world a lot, you know.

2103
02:11:42,480 --> 02:11:46,120
Speaker 1: And I think now people are just going to have

2104
02:11:46,160 --> 02:11:52,840
Speaker 1: to be okay with our marriage is not traditional in

2105
02:11:52,880 --> 02:11:58,800
Speaker 1: the sense of here we are married, but not you

2106
02:11:58,840 --> 02:12:02,800
Speaker 1: know what I mean, And you know, as I'm on

2107
02:12:03,080 --> 02:12:08,760
Speaker 1: my path and Will's figuring his thing out. We've decided

2108
02:12:08,800 --> 02:12:13,280
Speaker 1: to hold space for each other and as we're trying

2109
02:12:13,280 --> 02:12:16,440
Speaker 1: to figure out who we are. Will's lived a lot

2110
02:12:16,440 --> 02:12:20,000
Speaker 1: of his life for other people. I've definitely lived my

2111
02:12:20,120 --> 02:12:22,400
Speaker 1: life a lot for other people. And really having this

2112
02:12:22,520 --> 02:12:26,120
Speaker 1: time for me, I need this what I've been able

2113
02:12:26,200 --> 02:12:30,480
Speaker 1: to discover about myself in the last five years, six years,

2114
02:12:30,480 --> 02:12:36,600
Speaker 1: I think now I've needed this time to really concentrate

2115
02:12:36,640 --> 02:12:42,920
Speaker 1: on me and really developing like a relationship with myself.

2116
02:12:43,960 --> 02:12:47,000
Speaker 1: And I feel like the better relationship I have with myself,

2117
02:12:47,040 --> 02:12:50,120
Speaker 1: the better relationship I have with everyone else in my life,

2118
02:12:50,280 --> 02:12:53,000
Speaker 1: including Will, and so I talk about that a lot

2119
02:12:53,040 --> 02:12:54,960
Speaker 1: in the book. You know, just a lot of the

2120
02:12:54,960 --> 02:13:00,320
Speaker 1: misunderstandings that have occurred, rightfully so, because it's been a

2121
02:13:00,320 --> 02:13:02,680
Speaker 1: lot of mixed messaging, and then people are like, well,

2122
02:13:02,720 --> 02:13:04,080
Speaker 1: you know, you guys have been on the real card,

2123
02:13:04,120 --> 02:13:05,800
Speaker 1: you know, and all of that, We see you. We

2124
02:13:05,960 --> 02:13:08,480
Speaker 1: never knew there was a breakup you weren't supposed to

2125
02:13:09,320 --> 02:13:12,640
Speaker 1: that was between us, and at the end of the day,

2126
02:13:14,480 --> 02:13:18,920
Speaker 1: we're always family no matter what. So I think that

2127
02:13:19,120 --> 02:13:22,160
Speaker 1: the way we are deciding to be in a union

2128
02:13:23,720 --> 02:13:27,080
Speaker 1: people are just gonna have to get with that. It's

2129
02:13:27,120 --> 02:13:32,360
Speaker 1: probably not gonna look like what someone else is doing,

2130
02:13:33,240 --> 02:13:35,840
Speaker 1: and that's just the truth of the matter, you know,

2131
02:13:36,000 --> 02:13:36,520
Speaker 1: and we're.

2132
02:13:36,360 --> 02:13:39,040
Speaker 2: Good with that. I can definitely say that whatever relationship

2133
02:13:39,080 --> 02:13:42,240
Speaker 2: anyone is in that we all get to a point

2134
02:13:42,240 --> 02:13:48,000
Speaker 2: in our relationships, from mantic or otherwise where growing together

2135
02:13:48,120 --> 02:13:51,160
Speaker 2: becomes the greatest priority. It doesn't matter how.

2136
02:13:51,040 --> 02:13:53,760
Speaker 1: We are, how we got there, or what's happening.

2137
02:13:54,880 --> 02:13:57,720
Speaker 2: That. I think that is the key I was saying

2138
02:13:57,720 --> 02:13:59,680
Speaker 2: to that when I was writing my book A Rules

2139
02:13:59,680 --> 02:14:02,560
Speaker 2: of Love, it was like the journey I went on

2140
02:14:02,640 --> 02:14:05,280
Speaker 2: through writing it got me to that point of recognizing that, yes,

2141
02:14:05,400 --> 02:14:09,200
Speaker 2: the goal of every relationship in my life is simply

2142
02:14:09,680 --> 02:14:13,800
Speaker 2: to teach me something I have been unwilling to learn.

2143
02:14:14,520 --> 02:14:16,520
Speaker 2: And the people that I'm closest.

2144
02:14:16,000 --> 02:14:19,520
Speaker 1: To, come on, Jay, Yeah, the people.

2145
02:14:19,240 --> 02:14:23,320
Speaker 2: That I'm closest to are the only ones that can

2146
02:14:23,920 --> 02:14:28,440
Speaker 2: push me or pull me to seeing that whether it's

2147
02:14:28,440 --> 02:14:31,720
Speaker 2: your mom, whether it's your dad, or your sister, brother, partner,

2148
02:14:31,800 --> 02:14:37,160
Speaker 2: whatever it may be. And for me, I also discovered

2149
02:14:37,160 --> 02:14:39,160
Speaker 2: through the writing of the book that the greatest love

2150
02:14:39,240 --> 02:14:42,480
Speaker 2: story and I really really believe this. When I was

2151
02:14:42,480 --> 02:14:44,840
Speaker 2: writing it. I was like, the greatest love stories in

2152
02:14:44,880 --> 02:14:48,200
Speaker 2: the world are actually not romantic. The greatest love stories

2153
02:14:48,240 --> 02:14:53,120
Speaker 2: in the world are generally human sacrificing themselves in the

2154
02:14:53,160 --> 02:14:56,120
Speaker 2: service of others. Like you see people take on great

2155
02:14:56,200 --> 02:14:59,080
Speaker 2: sacrifice to help people that they may not even meet,

2156
02:14:59,600 --> 02:15:01,920
Speaker 2: or you see people like taking on a mission or

2157
02:15:01,960 --> 02:15:05,800
Speaker 2: a movement that hmm, positively affects so many people that

2158
02:15:05,960 --> 02:15:08,320
Speaker 2: they were never even connected to, Like those are the

2159
02:15:08,320 --> 02:15:11,240
Speaker 2: greatest acts of love, or the act of love that

2160
02:15:11,280 --> 02:15:13,720
Speaker 2: a parent has for their child that they extend themselves

2161
02:15:13,760 --> 02:15:17,240
Speaker 2: in express and that unconditionality. You don't really see romantic

2162
02:15:17,280 --> 02:15:21,520
Speaker 2: love being unconditional gender. It's interesting that trying to practice

2163
02:15:21,520 --> 02:15:24,200
Speaker 2: and understand what unconditional love is and figuring it out,

2164
02:15:24,200 --> 02:15:26,920
Speaker 2: which we all are, including me, But that journey was

2165
02:15:26,920 --> 02:15:31,160
Speaker 2: really powerful for me to recognize that the more unwilling

2166
02:15:31,200 --> 02:15:34,960
Speaker 2: I become and the more I hide from the lessons

2167
02:15:34,960 --> 02:15:38,560
Speaker 2: that I'm meant to learn, the harder it gets, and

2168
02:15:38,600 --> 02:15:40,880
Speaker 2: the harder the lesson gets and the test gets and

2169
02:15:40,920 --> 02:15:42,320
Speaker 2: it just gets bigger and worse.

2170
02:15:42,440 --> 02:15:44,920
Speaker 1: It gets bigger, and you know the truth of the

2171
02:15:44,960 --> 02:15:47,800
Speaker 1: matter is it's like I'm always going to be by

2172
02:15:47,840 --> 02:15:51,720
Speaker 1: will side you know when I think about, like if

2173
02:15:52,000 --> 02:15:54,920
Speaker 1: something ever happened to him, it's like, I'm gonna be

2174
02:15:55,000 --> 02:15:58,880
Speaker 1: right there if he needs me, I'm going to be

2175
02:15:59,000 --> 02:16:04,440
Speaker 1: right there always. That's just an unbreakable fact. That's the

2176
02:16:04,480 --> 02:16:08,040
Speaker 1: bond we have. You know, We've tried to break it

2177
02:16:08,360 --> 02:16:15,520
Speaker 1: in every which way you can think of. We don't

2178
02:16:15,560 --> 02:16:21,840
Speaker 1: want to be in this lifetime without one another. It's

2179
02:16:22,160 --> 02:16:25,400
Speaker 1: just not going to happen. So we're trying to figure

2180
02:16:25,440 --> 02:16:30,440
Speaker 1: out what that looks like for us. And there's something

2181
02:16:30,480 --> 02:16:34,199
Speaker 1: really powerful about that. I gotta be honest, as difficult

2182
02:16:34,240 --> 02:16:37,560
Speaker 1: as it's been, as there's been times that I've hated

2183
02:16:37,600 --> 02:16:45,119
Speaker 1: that fact having somebody that forces me to have to

2184
02:16:45,360 --> 02:16:50,279
Speaker 1: raise my consciousness, evolve my understanding of love, to deal

2185
02:16:50,400 --> 02:16:55,480
Speaker 1: with the fact of that bond that's a God given

2186
02:16:55,520 --> 02:16:59,920
Speaker 1: gift because me and God got to get with that.

2187
02:17:00,560 --> 02:17:04,000
Speaker 1: God has to be my mentor on how to love

2188
02:17:05,840 --> 02:17:12,119
Speaker 1: Will and myself and care for the relationship that we

2189
02:17:12,240 --> 02:17:16,879
Speaker 1: have through the eyes of the Great Supreme, not the

2190
02:17:16,920 --> 02:17:21,000
Speaker 1: way Jada wants it. And so that has been a

2191
02:17:21,040 --> 02:17:25,080
Speaker 1: beautiful surrender that I've really had to surrender because I

2192
02:17:25,120 --> 02:17:30,280
Speaker 1: really feel like it's about the decree God was like,

2193
02:17:30,280 --> 02:17:34,000
Speaker 1: oh no, in this lifetime, that's your person like it

2194
02:17:34,120 --> 02:17:39,680
Speaker 1: or not, I don't care. So it set me up

2195
02:17:39,720 --> 02:17:43,920
Speaker 1: to have to break certain ideas of my own personality

2196
02:17:44,680 --> 02:17:49,400
Speaker 1: and my own ego and really surrender to what the

2197
02:17:49,440 --> 02:17:55,119
Speaker 1: Great Supreme wants to teach me about love and about patience,

2198
02:17:56,240 --> 02:18:02,080
Speaker 1: and about care, kindness, considerationness of myself, forgiveness of others.

2199
02:18:02,400 --> 02:18:07,560
Speaker 1: It's deep, and I'm so grateful. It's been a painful journey,

2200
02:18:07,600 --> 02:18:11,840
Speaker 1: no doubt, but the gifts that I get on the

2201
02:18:11,879 --> 02:18:15,959
Speaker 1: other side of that discomfort, and when I get on

2202
02:18:16,000 --> 02:18:19,400
Speaker 1: the other side of the discomfort, I go, I get it.

2203
02:18:19,840 --> 02:18:25,199
Speaker 1: I could not have gotten that gift or that understanding

2204
02:18:26,879 --> 02:18:31,040
Speaker 1: without that trial you gave me. I just ask God

2205
02:18:31,080 --> 02:18:32,880
Speaker 1: these days, because you're making it a little easier, I

2206
02:18:33,000 --> 02:18:35,760
Speaker 1: think I'm getting the groove, you know what I mean,

2207
02:18:37,200 --> 02:18:40,600
Speaker 1: just like, come on, you know. But I've also realized

2208
02:18:40,600 --> 02:18:46,960
Speaker 1: too that I'm getting to the point that when things

2209
02:18:47,000 --> 02:18:51,879
Speaker 1: tumultuous things come about, I smile and I go, Okay,

2210
02:18:52,480 --> 02:18:54,200
Speaker 1: you got a great one for me on the other

2211
02:18:54,280 --> 02:18:57,120
Speaker 1: side of this bad boy, you know what I mean.

2212
02:18:57,720 --> 02:19:00,879
Speaker 1: You just start to realize it's never failed in that way.

2213
02:19:02,720 --> 02:19:05,720
Speaker 1: I remember asking Swammy. I said, do you think I

2214
02:19:05,720 --> 02:19:06,720
Speaker 1: should get divorced?

2215
02:19:07,320 --> 02:19:08,520
Speaker 2: Wow, I didn't know you asked him?

2216
02:19:08,520 --> 02:19:13,280
Speaker 1: Now, I sure did, I asked Swammy, and he said,

2217
02:19:13,280 --> 02:19:18,879
Speaker 1: you know, Jada, people take their vows very lightly these days.

2218
02:19:18,920 --> 02:19:24,560
Speaker 1: And he said something to the fact that, you know,

2219
02:19:25,240 --> 02:19:28,840
Speaker 1: when we stay committed to the vowels that we make,

2220
02:19:30,280 --> 02:19:34,000
Speaker 1: we find what we need. And I was like, okay,

2221
02:19:34,160 --> 02:19:37,280
Speaker 1: and I just stayed on track. I was just like,

2222
02:19:37,360 --> 02:19:40,800
Speaker 1: all right, let me, let me just keep digging, let

2223
02:19:40,879 --> 02:19:45,720
Speaker 1: me keep going. And he you know, he's right for

2224
02:19:45,879 --> 02:19:49,360
Speaker 1: my journey. I can't say for anybody else for my

2225
02:19:49,480 --> 02:19:52,280
Speaker 1: journey because he said, oh, this is what he said.

2226
02:19:52,320 --> 02:19:56,800
Speaker 1: He said, people end up as friends in the long run,

2227
02:19:57,440 --> 02:20:01,240
Speaker 1: and they're holding hands walking each other. And that's how

2228
02:20:01,280 --> 02:20:05,440
Speaker 1: I feel. I feel like Will and I are walking

2229
02:20:05,480 --> 02:20:07,520
Speaker 1: each other home as life partners.

2230
02:20:07,879 --> 02:20:10,920
Speaker 2: Well, Jada, I want to share one last thing with you,

2231
02:20:10,959 --> 02:20:15,040
Speaker 2: if I can so. Earlier, I had a letter for

2232
02:20:15,120 --> 02:20:21,040
Speaker 2: you from Willow Okay, and I also have a letter

2233
02:20:21,120 --> 02:20:25,640
Speaker 2: from Will. I may need your help with you. May

2234
02:20:25,720 --> 02:20:29,240
Speaker 2: have to reenact some words because I feel like you'll

2235
02:20:29,280 --> 02:20:32,039
Speaker 2: be able to channel Okay, Will better than me. I

2236
02:20:32,080 --> 02:20:35,320
Speaker 2: will not try and impersonate him. Because it won't go well.

2237
02:20:35,360 --> 02:20:36,800
Speaker 2: But this was for you, Jada. I think it was

2238
02:20:36,959 --> 02:20:38,600
Speaker 2: when we'll found out that you're coming on the show.

2239
02:20:38,600 --> 02:20:40,560
Speaker 2: And all right, I was happy that he was able

2240
02:20:40,600 --> 02:20:42,160
Speaker 2: to send this to me and so I could share

2241
02:20:42,160 --> 02:20:44,280
Speaker 2: it with you, and I'll just read it and let's

2242
02:20:44,320 --> 02:20:46,160
Speaker 2: let's do it in his words. Okay, so you'll have

2243
02:20:46,200 --> 02:20:47,959
Speaker 2: to explain this one for us, I know, but I

2244
02:20:47,959 --> 02:20:53,720
Speaker 2: want the audience ton So he said, congrats Dink.

2245
02:20:54,920 --> 02:20:57,800
Speaker 1: Okay, so let me just tell you what yeah, let

2246
02:20:57,800 --> 02:21:00,920
Speaker 1: me let me tell you what Dink means. He's so crazy.

2247
02:21:01,320 --> 02:21:05,040
Speaker 1: So when we play golf, he's my favorite person to

2248
02:21:05,080 --> 02:21:09,240
Speaker 1: play golf with. So when we play golf, when I

2249
02:21:09,320 --> 02:21:16,280
Speaker 1: hit my driver, it goes Dink. And so that's why

2250
02:21:16,320 --> 02:21:17,160
Speaker 1: he calls me Dick.

2251
02:21:17,800 --> 02:21:18,879
Speaker 2: Who's better at golf?

2252
02:21:19,160 --> 02:21:22,360
Speaker 1: He's definitely better. But I'm getting to a point where

2253
02:21:22,400 --> 02:21:24,720
Speaker 1: I can, you know, I can challenge him in a

2254
02:21:24,720 --> 02:21:26,440
Speaker 1: good way on a couple of holes, for sure.

2255
02:21:26,680 --> 02:21:31,080
Speaker 2: All Right, Okay, congrats Dink. I just turned the final

2256
02:21:31,240 --> 02:21:35,760
Speaker 2: page of Worthy, and damn, I'm going to get you

2257
02:21:35,800 --> 02:21:37,440
Speaker 2: to do the damn How would he say?

2258
02:21:37,879 --> 02:21:39,199
Speaker 1: Damn?

2259
02:21:39,720 --> 02:21:42,720
Speaker 2: I just turned the final page of Worthy and damn

2260
02:21:43,440 --> 02:21:47,879
Speaker 2: it is amazing to realize that, despite having lived most

2261
02:21:47,879 --> 02:21:52,960
Speaker 2: of my life by your side, I still found myself

2262
02:21:53,040 --> 02:22:00,320
Speaker 2: shocked and stunned and cought of God, laughing, then inspired,

2263
02:22:01,240 --> 02:22:06,959
Speaker 2: then heartbroken. I was all over the place. It's one

2264
02:22:07,040 --> 02:22:11,080
Speaker 2: thing to hear anecdotes at a family barbecue, but it

2265
02:22:11,120 --> 02:22:15,840
Speaker 2: was truly overwhelming to take in your story potently condensed

2266
02:22:15,840 --> 02:22:21,879
Speaker 2: in this way. You are one of one, a rare

2267
02:22:22,000 --> 02:22:27,560
Speaker 2: blend of power and delicate sensitivity. I know it wasn't

2268
02:22:27,680 --> 02:22:32,720
Speaker 2: easy to excavate the depths in that way. I applaud

2269
02:22:33,120 --> 02:22:38,760
Speaker 2: and honor you. If I had read this book thirty

2270
02:22:39,000 --> 02:22:46,199
Speaker 2: years ago, I definitely would have hugged you more. I'll

2271
02:22:46,240 --> 02:22:51,680
Speaker 2: start now. Welcome to the author's club. I love you endlessly.

2272
02:22:53,440 --> 02:22:56,120
Speaker 2: Now go get some merlo and take a rest.

2273
02:22:59,280 --> 02:23:05,040
Speaker 1: Hey, no, I can't. I have no more love. That's beautiful,

2274
02:23:06,240 --> 02:23:08,080
Speaker 1: and that's why I can't divorce that joker.

2275
02:23:12,640 --> 02:23:16,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's one line that really hit me, and I

2276
02:23:16,520 --> 02:23:19,320
Speaker 2: want to hear obviously, how you felt that he said,

2277
02:23:19,840 --> 02:23:23,840
Speaker 2: If I had read this book thirty years ago, I

2278
02:23:23,920 --> 02:23:28,879
Speaker 2: definitely would have hugged you more. I'll start now, how

2279
02:23:28,879 --> 02:23:30,880
Speaker 2: did it feel listening to parts of that?

2280
02:23:31,879 --> 02:23:33,560
Speaker 1: You know, one of the things I talk about in

2281
02:23:33,600 --> 02:23:40,119
Speaker 1: the book A lot is perspective. When we got married,

2282
02:23:41,080 --> 02:23:44,160
Speaker 1: Will had to be twenty twenty nine. We had such

2283
02:23:44,400 --> 02:23:51,040
Speaker 1: different needs, no right or wrong. You know, Will was

2284
02:23:51,280 --> 02:23:56,640
Speaker 1: very driven. But I got married because I was pregnant

2285
02:23:57,400 --> 02:24:01,520
Speaker 1: and I wanted a fam And now I must say

2286
02:24:01,560 --> 02:24:05,640
Speaker 1: that was the one thing we both wanted to create

2287
02:24:05,680 --> 02:24:09,200
Speaker 1: a family. We never had, but what we thought took

2288
02:24:09,360 --> 02:24:13,520
Speaker 1: having a healthy family. Will believed, man, as long as

2289
02:24:13,560 --> 02:24:17,120
Speaker 1: I get out here, make money, get the biggest house,

2290
02:24:17,600 --> 02:24:20,240
Speaker 1: make sure you guys don't need anything. That's how you

2291
02:24:20,280 --> 02:24:25,040
Speaker 1: have a great family. And my thing was like, no

2292
02:24:25,240 --> 02:24:28,640
Speaker 1: but love and you know, me and you we got

2293
02:24:28,640 --> 02:24:30,440
Speaker 1: a da da da da. You know, everything was centered

2294
02:24:30,440 --> 02:24:35,120
Speaker 1: around feelings, love da da. We just couldn't find agreement

2295
02:24:35,720 --> 02:24:40,120
Speaker 1: because we thought we had two different goals around what

2296
02:24:40,280 --> 02:24:49,120
Speaker 1: it took. And so to hear him say that he

2297
02:24:49,160 --> 02:24:54,160
Speaker 1: would have hugged me more is me hearing him say

2298
02:24:55,160 --> 02:24:58,640
Speaker 1: he would have taken a bit more time to listen

2299
02:24:59,360 --> 02:25:03,920
Speaker 1: and understand. And that doesn't mean that he would have

2300
02:25:04,000 --> 02:25:06,320
Speaker 1: to be off his path, but just to take a

2301
02:25:06,360 --> 02:25:10,240
Speaker 1: little bit more time to listen and understand. And I

2302
02:25:10,280 --> 02:25:13,200
Speaker 1: think when we're young, because that was the same way.

2303
02:25:13,280 --> 02:25:17,200
Speaker 1: I mean, when we were young, you just think your

2304
02:25:17,240 --> 02:25:22,200
Speaker 1: way is the only way. And I think that where

2305
02:25:22,240 --> 02:25:25,280
Speaker 1: Will and I are getting to now is understanding that

2306
02:25:26,879 --> 02:25:30,199
Speaker 1: our ways. My way is just one way, his way

2307
02:25:30,240 --> 02:25:32,720
Speaker 1: is just one way. And then how do we listen

2308
02:25:32,800 --> 02:25:37,800
Speaker 1: to each other more to blend those ways. I was

2309
02:25:37,959 --> 02:25:39,160
Speaker 1: very careful.

2310
02:25:38,840 --> 02:25:39,240
Speaker 2: And not.

2311
02:25:41,280 --> 02:25:48,120
Speaker 1: Going into romanticized regret after hearing that line. I wish

2312
02:25:48,240 --> 02:25:50,680
Speaker 1: I could have hugged you more, but I will do

2313
02:25:50,800 --> 02:25:53,600
Speaker 1: so now right. I was like, no, no, no, you're

2314
02:25:53,600 --> 02:25:59,760
Speaker 1: not going to go into romanticized regret wo, because what

2315
02:25:59,800 --> 02:26:05,600
Speaker 1: I know as a fact is that every step, everything

2316
02:26:07,360 --> 02:26:13,080
Speaker 1: that is transpired between us has been absolutely perfect, all

2317
02:26:13,120 --> 02:26:18,400
Speaker 1: the beauty and all the ugly to get us to

2318
02:26:18,440 --> 02:26:22,520
Speaker 1: a place that we're coming to, you know, And you

2319
02:26:22,560 --> 02:26:24,959
Speaker 1: could you could go, oh, I wish that, you know,

2320
02:26:25,040 --> 02:26:26,720
Speaker 1: I had known this when I was younger. That's the

2321
02:26:26,760 --> 02:26:30,920
Speaker 1: whole point of youth, you don't know, you know what

2322
02:26:30,920 --> 02:26:34,120
Speaker 1: I mean. And then to really just to be able

2323
02:26:34,200 --> 02:26:37,120
Speaker 1: to embrace like this time in my life and in

2324
02:26:37,160 --> 02:26:41,720
Speaker 1: his life and coming into newfound wisdom and enjoy that.

2325
02:26:42,280 --> 02:26:50,120
Speaker 1: But I'm so glad that getting closer to that blend

2326
02:26:51,320 --> 02:26:55,880
Speaker 1: between us and That's what I'm saying. It's like, who

2327
02:26:55,879 --> 02:26:58,280
Speaker 1: else am I going to grow with like that and

2328
02:26:58,360 --> 02:27:02,400
Speaker 1: be able to have those that deep cherished moment of

2329
02:27:02,560 --> 02:27:05,279
Speaker 1: like when you can look back at where you were

2330
02:27:05,959 --> 02:27:11,120
Speaker 1: thirty years ago and where we've traveled to get to

2331
02:27:11,160 --> 02:27:15,440
Speaker 1: this moment right here, right now, at this beautiful family.

2332
02:27:16,640 --> 02:27:22,080
Speaker 1: Without him, I went, I've had Jaden, Willow Trey, Oh

2333
02:27:22,120 --> 02:27:27,039
Speaker 1: my gosh, there are no greater treasures than those three.

2334
02:27:27,720 --> 02:27:30,640
Speaker 1: And then all of the magnificent experiences he and I've

2335
02:27:30,720 --> 02:27:35,480
Speaker 1: had together, the great ones and the not so great ones,

2336
02:27:35,680 --> 02:27:42,280
Speaker 1: you know, but they're ours, part of our tapestry. One

2337
02:27:42,280 --> 02:27:44,480
Speaker 1: thing I talk about in the book going to see

2338
02:27:44,560 --> 02:27:48,920
Speaker 1: Ruby d when I needed some marital advice and she

2339
02:27:49,040 --> 02:27:54,360
Speaker 1: told me laugh now, because you're gonna laugh later, And

2340
02:27:54,400 --> 02:27:56,280
Speaker 1: it's so true. I didn't know what she was talking

2341
02:27:56,320 --> 02:28:00,160
Speaker 1: about then, but she'd been married at that time or

2342
02:28:00,720 --> 02:28:05,000
Speaker 1: fifty some years as Sie was gone, Ozzie Davis had

2343
02:28:05,040 --> 02:28:07,400
Speaker 1: passed on, you know, And one of the things she

2344
02:28:07,480 --> 02:28:10,480
Speaker 1: said to me, I said, what's one of your biggest regrets?

2345
02:28:10,560 --> 02:28:13,440
Speaker 1: And she said, I wish I had laughed with him more.

2346
02:28:14,560 --> 02:28:19,000
Speaker 1: And that never leaves my mind to just find ways

2347
02:28:19,040 --> 02:28:21,680
Speaker 1: to get through the bumpies, to get through the bumpy stuff,

2348
02:28:22,040 --> 02:28:26,679
Speaker 1: and let's get back to some laughter and some joy.

2349
02:28:27,480 --> 02:28:30,640
Speaker 2: This to you in any case you want to read

2350
02:28:30,680 --> 02:28:33,800
Speaker 2: it again, Yeah, And I want to thank you for

2351
02:28:35,400 --> 02:28:43,480
Speaker 2: you know, your vulnerability, your openness today and the vulnerability

2352
02:28:43,480 --> 02:28:47,520
Speaker 2: in the book that you shed so profoundly today. But

2353
02:28:47,600 --> 02:28:52,120
Speaker 2: the book you get to weave the tapestry together and

2354
02:28:52,200 --> 02:28:54,080
Speaker 2: the lessons and where they come in your life. And

2355
02:28:54,120 --> 02:28:58,440
Speaker 2: I really, I really believe that anyone who will read

2356
02:28:58,480 --> 02:29:04,320
Speaker 2: this book will gain access to a much deeper understanding

2357
02:29:04,320 --> 02:29:10,320
Speaker 2: of themselves as a mirror and also get an opportunity

2358
02:29:10,400 --> 02:29:19,840
Speaker 2: to reframe, rethin, renew ideas perspective thoughts about their own journey.

2359
02:29:20,000 --> 02:29:22,800
Speaker 1: That is all that I want. Like, we have so

2360
02:29:22,920 --> 02:29:29,680
Speaker 1: much fear around allowing people their journeys because we can

2361
02:29:29,720 --> 02:29:32,720
Speaker 1: tend to get hurt within them along the way, but

2362
02:29:32,800 --> 02:29:36,480
Speaker 1: it's inevitable. And the more that we can have acceptance

2363
02:29:36,560 --> 02:29:41,200
Speaker 1: for the reality that life is a journey, nobody is

2364
02:29:41,320 --> 02:29:46,640
Speaker 1: meant to be perfect. It baffles me. Well, actually, let

2365
02:29:46,680 --> 02:29:49,640
Speaker 1: me take that back. It doesn't baffle me because I've

2366
02:29:49,640 --> 02:29:54,840
Speaker 1: been there. It doesn't baffle me. I've been there where

2367
02:29:56,000 --> 02:30:00,120
Speaker 1: Just being afraid to allow what is to be. That

2368
02:30:00,240 --> 02:30:05,360
Speaker 1: is embracing our humanness and learning how to love each

2369
02:30:05,400 --> 02:30:10,640
Speaker 1: other through our humanness. All this cancel culture and all

2370
02:30:10,640 --> 02:30:15,000
Speaker 1: of this that is purely a rejection of aspects of

2371
02:30:15,040 --> 02:30:22,880
Speaker 1: ourselves and a rejection of humanness. And that's where unconditional

2372
02:30:22,920 --> 02:30:25,560
Speaker 1: love has its most power. Right. But if we can

2373
02:30:25,640 --> 02:30:28,199
Speaker 1: learn to do that with us, starting with ourselves, right,

2374
02:30:28,520 --> 02:30:31,360
Speaker 1: learning how to have unconditional love for ourselves and have

2375
02:30:31,400 --> 02:30:34,920
Speaker 1: acceptance for our journey. And that's what I want from

2376
02:30:35,000 --> 02:30:37,879
Speaker 1: this book. I'm just putting it out there like a

2377
02:30:39,720 --> 02:30:42,480
Speaker 1: this is what my journey looks like, and it ain't cute.

2378
02:30:43,879 --> 02:30:46,240
Speaker 1: This is what I've learned along the way, and this

2379
02:30:46,320 --> 02:30:50,040
Speaker 1: is how I learned how to gain self worth and

2380
02:30:50,080 --> 02:30:54,600
Speaker 1: to feel worthy about it. All about it, all about it,

2381
02:30:55,000 --> 02:30:59,480
Speaker 1: all Jay, every piece of it. And that's all I

2382
02:30:59,520 --> 02:31:04,720
Speaker 1: want for every anybody else. It's okay, it's okay. You

2383
02:31:04,920 --> 02:31:07,720
Speaker 1: don't have to come down on yourself. And just because

2384
02:31:07,760 --> 02:31:11,400
Speaker 1: we stumble and we might lose our way doesn't mean

2385
02:31:11,440 --> 02:31:15,560
Speaker 1: we're lost forever. Thank you Charles Xavier from x Men

2386
02:31:15,920 --> 02:31:16,879
Speaker 1: for that statement.

2387
02:31:18,720 --> 02:31:19,800
Speaker 2: I love that, friend.

2388
02:31:20,280 --> 02:31:23,600
Speaker 1: I do too. Charles laid it out just like that.

2389
02:31:23,800 --> 02:31:26,680
Speaker 1: I had to put that quone in my book, but

2390
02:31:26,760 --> 02:31:30,440
Speaker 1: it's true, and that's all I want for everybody. We

2391
02:31:30,520 --> 02:31:35,640
Speaker 1: are all worthy, embracing it all, every aspect of our journey.

2392
02:31:36,440 --> 02:31:38,199
Speaker 1: That is the thing that makes us worthy.

2393
02:31:38,520 --> 02:31:42,440
Speaker 2: We're harder on all this because we're so hard on ourselves.

2394
02:31:42,440 --> 02:31:44,640
Speaker 2: We're hard on ourselves because we're so hard on others,

2395
02:31:45,000 --> 02:31:48,240
Speaker 2: and that cycle keeps repeating itself. Point out someone's floor

2396
02:31:48,280 --> 02:31:51,320
Speaker 2: because we're pointing them out in ourselves, but not looking

2397
02:31:51,360 --> 02:31:53,440
Speaker 2: at the growth we're trying to make and the growth

2398
02:31:53,440 --> 02:31:55,840
Speaker 2: someone else trying to make, the healing journey that they're on,

2399
02:31:55,959 --> 02:31:58,400
Speaker 2: and the healing journey that we're on. And as you

2400
02:31:58,440 --> 02:32:00,400
Speaker 2: were just saying that, what came to my mind is

2401
02:32:00,440 --> 02:32:04,080
Speaker 2: that we all have to take the same steps, but

2402
02:32:04,240 --> 02:32:07,480
Speaker 2: on our own path. And I think what this book

2403
02:32:07,560 --> 02:32:12,600
Speaker 2: does so gracefully is show your steps, which reminds us

2404
02:32:12,640 --> 02:32:15,160
Speaker 2: all that even if we trip and we fall, which

2405
02:32:15,200 --> 02:32:20,959
Speaker 2: we inevitably will, there's still another step after that that

2406
02:32:21,080 --> 02:32:26,520
Speaker 2: we can take. And that ultimate step is what you

2407
02:32:26,680 --> 02:32:30,000
Speaker 2: just so beautifully put the step of recognizing that all

2408
02:32:30,080 --> 02:32:32,960
Speaker 2: of it was worthy, all of it was part of

2409
02:32:33,000 --> 02:32:37,240
Speaker 2: that journey towards self.

2410
02:32:36,959 --> 02:32:42,800
Speaker 1: Worth, and that you're loved. You're loved, and you're held

2411
02:32:43,840 --> 02:32:47,400
Speaker 1: no matter what through all of the scrutiny and through

2412
02:32:47,440 --> 02:32:50,880
Speaker 1: all of the I don't know stones that were thrown

2413
02:32:50,920 --> 02:32:56,480
Speaker 1: at me as painful as all of that was, what

2414
02:32:56,640 --> 02:33:02,400
Speaker 1: a beautiful gauntlet to get me to the understanding that

2415
02:33:02,720 --> 02:33:08,600
Speaker 1: it's only our self judgment that's the true enemy. And

2416
02:33:08,640 --> 02:33:11,320
Speaker 1: I got to cure so much of my own self

2417
02:33:11,400 --> 02:33:14,640
Speaker 1: judgment through all of that. It's almost like being like

2418
02:33:14,720 --> 02:33:17,720
Speaker 1: wonder woman, you know, per pre Pard, you know what

2419
02:33:17,800 --> 02:33:21,200
Speaker 1: I mean. It's like the Great Supreme makes it so

2420
02:33:21,480 --> 02:33:28,760
Speaker 1: that you're invincible to all the criticism, anything else anybody

2421
02:33:28,800 --> 02:33:32,360
Speaker 1: has to say about you. When you get that true

2422
02:33:32,840 --> 02:33:39,600
Speaker 1: sense of worthiness, doesn't matter what anybody else thinks, doesn't

2423
02:33:39,600 --> 02:33:43,480
Speaker 1: matter what other misunderstandings are happening. And I want that

2424
02:33:43,600 --> 02:33:50,920
Speaker 1: for everybody. It's a superpower, but it's not given without

2425
02:33:51,440 --> 02:33:55,240
Speaker 1: the trial. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Thank you.

2426
02:33:55,320 --> 02:34:00,000
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful and thank you Jay. Yeah, thank you,

2427
02:34:00,000 --> 02:34:00,160
Speaker 1: thank you.

2428
02:34:00,240 --> 02:34:00,480
Speaker 2: Jay.

2429
02:34:00,520 --> 02:34:02,720
Speaker 1: You've been so good to me through it all. Thank you,

2430
02:34:02,959 --> 02:34:04,680
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

2431
02:34:05,280 --> 02:34:08,200
Speaker 2: So grateful to you too as well, for letting me

2432
02:34:08,280 --> 02:34:11,200
Speaker 2: be a small part of the journey, because it's one

2433
02:34:11,240 --> 02:34:14,280
Speaker 2: that you give me the bravery to tread myself. So

2434
02:34:14,920 --> 02:34:18,039
Speaker 2: thank you. If you love this episode, you love my

2435
02:34:18,160 --> 02:34:21,960
Speaker 2: interview with Will Smith on owning your truth and unlocking

2436
02:34:21,959 --> 02:34:25,680
Speaker 2: the power of manifestation. Anybody who hasn't spoken to their

2437
02:34:25,760 --> 02:34:30,520
Speaker 2: parents or their brother, call them right now.

2438
02:34:30,760 --> 02:34:32,560
Speaker 1: Don't think you're going to have a chance to call

2439
02:34:32,600 --> 02:34:34,400
Speaker 1: them tomorrow or next week.

2440
02:34:34,480 --> 02:34:40,120
Speaker 2: That opportunity with my father changed every relationship in my life.