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Speaker 1: You don't know me confession I can't take back ow

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Speaker 1: arm mouse speak text to seventy eighty five nine two says,

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Speaker 1: if I'm ever meeting my wife in a public space,

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Speaker 1: I'll walk up to her, look confused, and say as

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Speaker 1: loud as I can, Hi, Sarah, you don't look anything

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Speaker 1: like your profile picture. She absolutely hates it. What if

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Speaker 1: he's implying she looks hotter than her profile folk?

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Speaker 2: Nobody ever says it that way.

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Speaker 1: Six foot either, I'll say you on this segment, you

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Speaker 1: will sound nothing like your profile picture because we alter

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Speaker 1: your voice in order to hide your identity so you

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Speaker 1: can tell us your secrets anonymously. And we've got a

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Speaker 1: lovely lady on the line today who's chosen to use

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Speaker 1: the fake name Jessica. So, Jessica, welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: How thank wow, Your altered voice sounds even hotter in

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Speaker 1: your real one. Jessica.

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Speaker 2: Wait wait, actually no, you need to go the other where.

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Speaker 1: That's not really compliment, is it. Your altered voice sounds

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Speaker 1: worse than your We don't know, just yeah yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that really backfired on me. But good news is the

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Speaker 1: voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker whenever

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Speaker 1: you're ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 3: So it's kind of crazy. I recently invided to my

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Speaker 3: first ever bridal shower. Oh cool. I'm in my mid

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Speaker 3: twenties and I've had friends get married, but they just

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Speaker 3: didn't have bridle showers or whatever.

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Speaker 2: I know, I would say I hate bridal shower too.

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Speaker 3: No, not fun.

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Speaker 2: Always with grandparents there you have to be on your

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Speaker 2: best behavior and expected to open another gift.

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Speaker 1: It's not fun hearing the grandma tell you what to

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Speaker 1: expect on the wedding night. No oh, I thought that

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Speaker 1: was the best.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Hey, that's my opinion. Maybe yours is different. Maybe

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Speaker 2: we're looking forward to it.

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Speaker 1: Your first ever bridle shower, tell us about it.

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Speaker 3: So I usually assume to be a sun boozy brunch vibe,

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Speaker 3: you know, maybe like some fun bride games. And I

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Speaker 3: did not realize you're supposed to bring a guest.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, this is on top of the registry gift.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's a totally separate gift. I mean, oftentimes it'll

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Speaker 2: be like lingerie, you can bring them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty small gifts.

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Speaker 3: Or like sleep cute sleep pajamas.

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Speaker 1: For the wedding night.

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Speaker 3: I guess I did not know that because like, I'm

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Speaker 3: a bridesmaid. I'd already sent so much money on that

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Speaker 3: threat trip and dresses and hair and make up, and

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Speaker 3: I just thought it was a fun event to spend

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Speaker 3: time together. But so I get there and I see

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Speaker 3: this huge table of presents. My friends are all putting

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Speaker 3: their gifts on the table, one of them, if you can.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I was literally the only person who didn't

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Speaker 3: bring one, and I was absolutely mortified. To make it worse,

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Speaker 3: the bride decided to open the gifts in front of everyone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they typically like.

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Speaker 3: It's about to become even more obvious that I didn't

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Speaker 3: get for anything. And I'm like seriously on my shote,

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Speaker 3: like trying to see can I buy a gift?

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Speaker 1: Car?

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Speaker 3: Is that? I'm like sitting there panicking. And then she

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Speaker 3: opens his gift and she's like, oh my god, Jessica,

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Speaker 3: thank you so much. I love it.

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Speaker 1: Wait wait is that your name?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, my name is Jessica. I know.

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Speaker 2: I just keeping Okay.

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Speaker 1: She looks at you and says, oh my god, thank

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Speaker 1: you for the gift. What is she talking about?

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Speaker 3: This monogrammed purse? Wait? Her new last name on it,

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Speaker 3: And like, I was so confused. So I just laughed,

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Speaker 3: like awkwardly and was like, oh, of course, girl got you.

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Speaker 2: Like, but the person who gave it to her is

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Speaker 2: probably at the party, right.

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Speaker 3: I'm like racking my brain trying to figure out how

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Speaker 3: she got this gift from me, because like, I didn't

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Speaker 3: buy it. You know, that's like a plan ahead gift,

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Speaker 3: you know, to get it monagrams and everything. But then

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Speaker 3: I realized there's another Jessica in her friend group. I

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Speaker 3: mean I don't really know where, but she was at

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Speaker 3: the Bridle show. She just said to leave early, So

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Speaker 3: you claim to stop it. I mean I flowly took credit.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, dude, But the other Jessica is gonna find.

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Speaker 3: Out, right, So here's what's so bad. To this day,

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Speaker 3: the bride still tells me about how thoughtful the bag was,

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Speaker 3: and she'll like bring it with her when we go out.

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Speaker 1: Never talk to the other girl, because she assumed she

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Speaker 1: never got a gift from her sombers.

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Speaker 2: Never said thank you, never said yeah it's bad.

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Speaker 3: I mean I got a thank you and everything.

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Speaker 1: Well, there's the other Jessica right for leaving the party

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Speaker 1: early and not asking to follow up. But if she

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Speaker 1: liked the bag.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's not even a very good friend if

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Speaker 1: you ask me so many money.

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Speaker 2: Those parties are so boring, Jeff.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, we actually are on the other Jessica's side for

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Speaker 1: ditching it. We always have a group message and we're like, please,

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Speaker 1: everybody's steak because it's soul to be there a fancy

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Speaker 1: bag and leave. Yeah, so you're taking credit for the

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Speaker 1: other Jessica's monogrammed purse.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And I mean, I guess the lesson I learned

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Speaker 3: was always had a gift. So like I have a

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Speaker 3: sinking candle and a blanket breading card in my car

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Speaker 3: at all times.

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Speaker 2: Okay, hopefully not the hot summer months because the candle's

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Speaker 2: not gonna last.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's there in case. I mean something, you know.

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Speaker 1: Hopefully don't run into the other Jessica, like in public

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Speaker 1: at some point.

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Speaker 2: You're shopping with your girlfriend and she's got her monogram back.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, So does it does it feel good to

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Speaker 1: get that confession off of your chest?

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Speaker 3: It feels so good?

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Speaker 2: Oh man, that is dirty. I thought you were just gonna,

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Speaker 2: like Alexis said, go in with somebody else on the gift, Like, hey,

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Speaker 2: I veno you fifty bucks. If you let me put

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Speaker 2: my name on that probably just done.

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Speaker 1: Good for you, Jessica, take the opportunities that come to

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Speaker 1: you and text into seventy eight five nine two. If

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Speaker 1: you have a confession you've been holding on to, we

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Speaker 1: can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make you

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Speaker 1: our next mass speaker. Your phone taps coming

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Speaker 2: Up Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.