1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:03,400 Speaker 1: Time. Now forward today's Strawberry Letter and if you need 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:08,240 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting and more, please submit 3 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:12,440 Speaker 1: your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and you 4 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:16,279 Speaker 1: can click submit Strawberry Letter. And you never know, we 5 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,840 Speaker 1: could be reading your letter live on the air, just 6 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:21,440 Speaker 1: like we're gonna read this one right here, right now. 7 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:25,639 Speaker 1: Could be yours. Yeah, bugle lupat, hold on tight, We 8 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 1: got it for you. Here. He is the Strawberry Letter. 9 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject he won't stay out up my stuff. 10 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a forty six year old married 11 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,159 Speaker 1: woman and this is my second marriage. When I was 12 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 1: dating my new husband, he'd love wearing my house shoes 13 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 1: around the house, even though his feet hang off the back. 14 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: Then he started wearing my bathrobe until I got him 15 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,800 Speaker 1: a big compy one like I have. I'm not even 16 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: a big woman, so it had to be uncomfortable. The 17 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:02,120 Speaker 1: moment we moved in together, he was in everything of mine. 18 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:07,199 Speaker 1: He plunders and goes through my stuff, and I'll find 19 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 1: important things misplaced because he's used them. I can't ever 20 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 1: find my nail clippers and files because he takes them 21 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 1: to work with him, or they're left in his car. 22 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,959 Speaker 1: He's growing his hair out, so he wears these little 23 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: knowing twists in his head, and he uses all of 24 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,600 Speaker 1: my shampoo, conditioner, and styling products because he needs his 25 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: hair moisturizers moisturized, or so he says. I have encouraged 26 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,320 Speaker 1: him many times to go to Walmart and get his 27 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,840 Speaker 1: own things, but he's stubborn and says it's easier to 28 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 1: use mine. When I started a diet, he ate all 29 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 1: of the meal prep I did. He has no limits, 30 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: and no matter how much I yell and scream at him, 31 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: it's like living with a child. My own kids don't 32 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 1: touch my things, and I need him to learn to 33 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: keep his hands to himself. This leads me to the 34 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 1: biggest problem. He likes to spoon every night, and it 35 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 1: was cute at first, but now it's a problem because 36 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: once again he's in my stuff. Yes, he has to 37 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,920 Speaker 1: have his hand on it to fall asleep. Can you 38 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,240 Speaker 1: imagine how awkward this is for me? He's all in 39 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:20,799 Speaker 1: my space and in my stuff day and night. How 40 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,920 Speaker 1: do I get some sort of separation from him without 41 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 1: causing a big rift in my marriage? I should have 42 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 1: stopped it from the beginning. What do I do now? Holy? 43 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:39,079 Speaker 1: Holy wha? Yeah, you should have stopped it in the beginning. 44 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 1: I don't know. At first I thought this letter was 45 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 1: going to be about cross dressing, and then it just 46 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: kind of changed for me. You didn't stop him in 47 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 1: the beginning. But how could you have known it would 48 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 1: be this bad? I mean, I mean, there are, of 49 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,080 Speaker 1: course worse things in life, but he is like a 50 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: spoiled brad kid. He's all over the place. What did 51 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,919 Speaker 1: he bring to the marriage? Did he have? Does he 52 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,920 Speaker 1: have anything? It doesn't sound like he do, but he does. 53 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 1: He's also lazy, He's disrespectful, he's inconsiderate. He's selfish. I 54 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: mean lazy because he won't get his own hair products. 55 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: That's simple, you know, like you say, just go down 56 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:18,359 Speaker 1: to the walmart and pick yourself up something. Disrespectful, he's 57 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,520 Speaker 1: in your things without asking you. You know you can't 58 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,359 Speaker 1: find him when you're looking for him. You've asked him 59 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 1: to stop. He won't. He's inconsiderate, selfish, he doesn't care 60 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 1: how this makes you feel. He's just walking all over 61 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: you with no What is with this guy? He needs 62 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 1: to understand that even in marriage there are boundaries there. 63 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 1: Just there's boundaries everywhere. Your spouse needs to still be 64 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:47,000 Speaker 1: respectful and ask you to use your things. I mean, 65 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,920 Speaker 1: it is very childish and stupid. I agree with you there. 66 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,119 Speaker 1: So I say treat him like a child and put 67 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 1: him on punishment and until he can leave your stuff alone. 68 00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 1: No spooning, No hands on your stuff like you say, 69 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 1: no hands on it, and you have to mean it 70 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 1: this time. I say, stopped putting yourself second, stand up 71 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 1: for yourself. You've gotta you know, you scream and yell 72 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: at him, but he doesn't hear you, But you gotta 73 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: make him hear you. Your husband is wrong. You're letting 74 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:19,159 Speaker 1: him get away with this stuff. Steve, Surely you're saying 75 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 1: something you said when you first read the letter, you 76 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:26,920 Speaker 1: thought it was about cross dressing, and I did too. Yeah, yeah, 77 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:30,359 Speaker 1: And after reading the whole letter, I still think the 78 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,279 Speaker 1: same thing. And I thought initially, that's what the hell 79 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 1: I'm going, that's the round I'm going, right, Hill, Yeah, 80 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 1: I still think it's about some damn cross and I 81 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:44,160 Speaker 1: got proof in the whole damn letter. Something going on. Hill. Now, 82 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 1: you forty six year old married woman, this is your 83 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: second marriage, this to your new husband, and before you 84 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: got married, he loved wearing your house shoes round the house, 85 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,960 Speaker 1: even though his feat hang off the back. Now, she 86 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: later on says, she's not a large so this is 87 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 1: a small woman. Recoglicide. You know she ain't no bigger 88 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:06,719 Speaker 1: of what she's saying, But so you got small feet. 89 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,480 Speaker 1: I can't even put my toes in Margree's house shoes. 90 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,039 Speaker 1: I can't even get my toes in that. I can't 91 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: get through the opening of none of her house shiite 92 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:22,279 Speaker 1: because my feet too white. Now, somehow he didn't manage 93 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 1: to slide in your house shoes and where they're just 94 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 1: hanging off the back. So I'm assuming this ain't a 95 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: big man either. Well, he's bigger than you. Then he 96 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:34,600 Speaker 1: started wearing your bathrobe until I got him a big, 97 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 1: comfortablee like I have. I'm not even a big woman, 98 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:39,920 Speaker 1: so it had to be uncomfortable. So now he could 99 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 1: he could put your bathrobe on and he could wear 100 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: your house shoes. Okay, then you said, I'm not even 101 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,080 Speaker 1: a big woman, so it had to be uncomfortable. The 102 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,679 Speaker 1: moment we moved in together, he has everything of mine. 103 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 1: He plunders and goes through my stuff. I'll find important 104 00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:03,600 Speaker 1: things misplaced because he's used off. He plunders through my themes. 105 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 1: This don't sound familiar to you. Just don't sound like 106 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: a story we've heard any news recently over the Yes, 107 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:16,040 Speaker 1: it's started like that to day house too. Yes, a 108 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:20,960 Speaker 1: little way dresses and stuff. Next thing you know, he 109 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 1: was a major news item. And I'm not even gonna 110 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:27,239 Speaker 1: get into it because of political correct correctness. And nobody's 111 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 1: gonna be able to say Steve was bashing anybody because 112 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm just making you aware of a familiar 113 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: story you may have heard. All right, hang on, I 114 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 1: have no ways to bring it about. I'll drop both 115 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: clues right afternoon. We'll have part two of Steve's response 116 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 1: coming up in twenty three minutes after the our subject, 117 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:50,120 Speaker 1: he won't stay out of my stuff. We'll get back 118 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening show, all right, 119 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today Strawberry letter, and so 120 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 1: we can finish up your funds. He won't stay out 121 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 1: of my stuff is the subject. He won't stay out 122 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: of my stuff. This sounds like a very familiar story. 123 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 1: This ain't common for us. That's in marriages and relationship. 124 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:19,560 Speaker 1: But when you hit this, it reeks a familiarity. It's 125 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:24,840 Speaker 1: your husband. He loves walking around the house and your stuff. Now, 126 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 1: Shirley saying, at first she thought this letter was about 127 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,080 Speaker 1: cross dressing, and then she went on it was about 128 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: other stuff. I'm thinking it's about cross dressing. Hole dog 129 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,880 Speaker 1: on letter through and I'm explaining to you, wife, got 130 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 1: your house shoes on. Somehow he could fit his toes 131 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,000 Speaker 1: in there and they just hang off the back. Then 132 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 1: either wear your bathrobe around the house, and then he 133 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 1: goes he wears everything in yours. He plunders and goes 134 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 1: through my stuff, and I'll find important things misplaced he 135 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 1: s used them. I've heard of men who wear their 136 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:59,600 Speaker 1: wife's clothes. I've heard of men who put the wife's 137 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:04,000 Speaker 1: dress his own and then wear the dresses and clothes. 138 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 1: And you just said he plunders through everything you got. 139 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 1: It's more to this story right here, lady. I can't 140 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 1: even find my nail clippers and files because he take 141 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 1: them to work with him. Who do that? What man 142 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: take his wife's nail clippers and files to work with him? Who? Who? 143 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,239 Speaker 1: I ain't never heard that before, but I know someone 144 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: who get it. This story is sounding familiar, while I 145 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 1: have more clues. He's growing his how. Oh that's all 146 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:41,439 Speaker 1: the sign. He's growing his hal. So he wears he's 147 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 1: little annoyed and twisting his head. And he used all 148 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 1: of my shampoo, condition and styling products because he needs 149 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 1: his hair moisturizers. So he said, he's growing his how. 150 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 1: He using your nail products, he wears your clothes, and 151 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 1: he growing his hal. You're not gonna be able to 152 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 1: write in on Steve Harvey. I'm too smart for this hire. 153 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 1: But all I am asking you is this don't sound 154 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:11,560 Speaker 1: for million. I bet your husband probably real athletic too. 155 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 1: You know he could be got still got these hot 156 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:21,440 Speaker 1: shoes on the knees, growing his hat and using your 157 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 1: nail products and all this here, and you know it 158 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:31,439 Speaker 1: just sounds from million to me. Now, I'm not getting 159 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,319 Speaker 1: in trouble with this here because I would never but 160 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:36,320 Speaker 1: I'm not fit to do say nobody's name but be 161 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 1: talking about nobody lifestyle. That ain't my bugs. You do 162 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,440 Speaker 1: what you want to do. But once you in your 163 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 1: wife's closing and growing your how and doing your nails, 164 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:52,040 Speaker 1: all this here, I'm just saying, now, let's try to 165 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 1: move on. Now, you've encouraged him to go to Walmart 166 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 1: and get his own things, but he stubborn. He says, 167 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: it's easy to use mine. When I started a diet, 168 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 1: Hold up, now, just said you weren't the big girl. Yeah, 169 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 1: when I started to diet. And that's some truth starting 170 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 1: to come out. Now, maybe these house shoes is a 171 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 1: little bit bigger than our thought. Maybe maybe he could 172 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 1: wear this road I'm just saying, there's some stuff in 173 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 1: this ladder. I'm just reading the ladder. I'm just pulling 174 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,959 Speaker 1: out the fact when I started a diet, he just said, 175 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,719 Speaker 1: you wasn't the big girls. I don't know all of 176 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 1: a sudden. Now we only diet now, and he ate 177 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 1: all the meal preps I did. He has no limits 178 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 1: of no matter how much I yelled and scream at him. 179 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,000 Speaker 1: Is like living with a child. My own kids do 180 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,240 Speaker 1: not touch my things. I need him learn to keep 181 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,280 Speaker 1: his hands himself. And then here we go to the 182 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 1: biggest problem. He likes to spoon every night. And it 183 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: was cute at first, but now it's a problem because 184 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 1: once again he's in my stuff. Yes, he has to 185 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 1: have his hand on it to fall asleep. Got to 186 00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:01,679 Speaker 1: be very uncost. You know, I'm gonna tell you. I'm like, now, 187 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:05,080 Speaker 1: somebody trying to put their head on your stuff every 188 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 1: night while you sleep, It's gonna be a problem. Damn it. 189 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 1: I'm trying to sleep. Him finger nails couldn't cross me. 190 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,559 Speaker 1: You don't get your damn hands over there on yourself? 191 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 1: What You're not fooling me? And I'm trying to goas 192 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,840 Speaker 1: and everything all over here. I'm trying to go to sleeping. 193 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 1: Kind of hard to go to sleep and breathe hard 194 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,200 Speaker 1: at the same time. I get nervously. Nails is around 195 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 1: me and you and him, you following me, and I'm 196 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 1: trying to go to sleep. You got your finger nails, 197 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 1: Get your nails, Get your nails. Can you imagine how 198 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:47,920 Speaker 1: awkward this is to me? He's all in my space 199 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 1: and in my stuff all day and night. How do 200 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 1: I get some sort of separation from him without causing 201 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,320 Speaker 1: a big riff in my marriage? I should have stopped 202 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 1: this from the beginning. But what do I do now? Well, 203 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 1: you see this is your second marriage. I'm thinking probably 204 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: gonna have to start looking at a third. I'm thinking 205 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:15,520 Speaker 1: right now, after listening and reading this letter, if you 206 00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: don't get away from this man. He gonna be up 207 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 1: at y'all's church doing church church announcements as someone else 208 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:31,080 Speaker 1: who because you know, after after they do put all 209 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,439 Speaker 1: the clothes on and grow they hell, you know, they 210 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:39,360 Speaker 1: do get invited places to speak. So you're gonna look 211 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,560 Speaker 1: up at church and your husband gonna be doing church 212 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:46,719 Speaker 1: announcements instead of Sister Ross all right, hit us up 213 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 1: on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM to comment on today's 214 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:54,440 Speaker 1: the Same Dress Sister Rob. Also check out the Strawberry 215 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand coming up next Junior in Sports 216 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 1: talking forty six minutes after Right after this, you're listening 217 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,040 Speaker 1: to the Stame Harvey Morning Show