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Speaker 1: Hey, it's Alec Baldwin here. Before we launch our next

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Speaker 1: season of Here's the Thing at iHeartRadio in January, I

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Speaker 1: thought I'd play some of my favorite shows from the archives.

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Speaker 1: Audra McDonald occupies a unique place in the American theater.

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Speaker 1: With six Tony Awards, she has the most of any

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Speaker 1: actress in history. She is renowned for her work in

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Speaker 1: opera as well as in films and on television. Here

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Speaker 1: is my conversation with Audra McDonald.

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Speaker 2: Svens fesh hoatch money.

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Speaker 1: Much like the staggering beauty of her singing, Audra McDonald

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Speaker 1: is impossible to ignore. The only person to sweep all

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Speaker 1: four acting categories at the Tonys, she's one of the

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Speaker 1: most decorated Broadway stars of all time. Reviews of her

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Speaker 1: award winning performances overflow with accolades. She's spellbinding, radiant, and

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Speaker 1: wrenchingly human. This year, the Juilliard graduate took on her

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Speaker 1: first voice over role, playing Madame Gardrobe in Disney's Beauty

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Speaker 1: and the Beast. The performance was so great one critic

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Speaker 1: wrote that her name and the credits prompted theatergoers to

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Speaker 1: erupt in cheers. I sat down with Audre before her

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Speaker 1: debut this summer in London's West End, where she takes

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Speaker 1: on Billy Holliday, whose life as a black female performer

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Speaker 1: hits close to home.

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Speaker 3: Specifically for me, I would say that there was an

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Speaker 3: expectation on my part that things would get easier as

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Speaker 3: a result of being successful. You know, well, what do

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Speaker 3: you mean, they're going to make more money than I am.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, we're doing the same thing, we're playing. We're

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Speaker 3: basically equal as far as the roles are concerned.

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Speaker 1: Or what did you do to address that? If anything?

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Speaker 3: I didn't. For I didn't do anything for a while

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Speaker 3: I should have, and I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I just went along well.

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Speaker 3: And especially you know, when you're an actor, it's like

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Speaker 3: you're always being told you should be grateful you've got

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Speaker 3: the job, you know.

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Speaker 1: So being told that if you if you push too much,

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Speaker 1: you're going to get a bad reputation for being Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: and I those actors that are infinitely less talented than

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Speaker 1: you who all the time they're.

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Speaker 3: Just easy to easier to work with, and they don't

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Speaker 3: they don't cause in terms.

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Speaker 1: Of being an African American performer, did that change?

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Speaker 3: Well, I tell you, I mean, let me give you

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Speaker 3: an example of how in some ways it changed and

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Speaker 3: didn't change. I have to I have to acknowledge the

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Speaker 3: fact that I am someone who has had uh an

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Speaker 3: incredible opportunity in terms of sort of breaking down barriers

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Speaker 3: as far as like color blind casting, being color blind

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Speaker 3: cast as Carrie Pepperridge in Carousel, you know, or the

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Speaker 3: fact that I played Mother Abbess and the Sound of

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Speaker 3: Music Live, you know, and you know a lot of

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Speaker 3: people have issues with that, but you know, I was

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Speaker 3: the one that got the opportunity to do that. You know,

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Speaker 3: when I was doing Annie for ABC, they did a

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Speaker 3: version of that with Kathy Bates and Victor Garber and

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Speaker 3: Alan Comming and Kristin Chenowith, and they cast me as

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Speaker 3: Grace Ferrell and there was a scene at the end

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Speaker 3: where Grace Ferrell and Daddy Warbooks proposes to Grace Ferrell

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Speaker 3: at the end, the happy endings happening. You know. Warbocks, Yes,

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Speaker 3: he was my daddy. I love him too. And actually

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Speaker 3: you'll appreciate this. We were sitting around one day on

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Speaker 3: the set and you know, in the big gorgeous mansion

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Speaker 3: that Daddy war Books has, and we were sitting between

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Speaker 3: takes and I was sitting next to Victor, and I

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Speaker 3: just got a little emotionally. I said, Victor, what if

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Speaker 3: this was really our house and we were really getting

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Speaker 3: married and we had all this money in this life?

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Speaker 3: And he said, in the just true Victor fashion, Darling,

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Speaker 3: get a hold of yourself. You can total Victors saying

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Speaker 3: that right. But anyway, so we were filming Brier, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: we're we were filming Annie, and so we shot the

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Speaker 3: scene where you know, Daddy Warbucks gives Grace Ferrell the

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Speaker 3: ring and it's lovely. And then we get word that

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Speaker 3: we have to come in on a Saturday to do

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Speaker 3: some reshoots. And Rob Marshall was directing, and Neil Maren

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Speaker 3: and Craig Zayden, who were wonderful, wonderful producers and have

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Speaker 3: been very kind to me over the years and give

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Speaker 3: me a lot of work. They cast me in Sound

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Speaker 3: of Music as mother Abbess, and they said we have

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Speaker 3: to do some reshoots, and then they took me aside

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Speaker 3: and said, it turns out that Disney might be a

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Speaker 3: little uncomfortable or the powers that be. I don't know

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Speaker 3: if it was Disney abcre, I don't know. We are comfortable.

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Speaker 3: There might be some issues with Daddy Warbucks actually marrying Grace,

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Speaker 3: So what year was this? Nineteen ninety nine? So we

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Speaker 3: need to reshoot the scene and do it without.

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Speaker 1: You're hooking up with Daddy Warbucks.

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Speaker 3: Giving Yeah, And I was devastated. I was I was devastated.

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Speaker 3: It's one of those things where you know you're starting

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Speaker 3: to feel good, You're starting to feel like, oh, there's

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Speaker 3: really change coming. Things are happening here. I am playing

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Speaker 3: this role and it's it's Annie, but nobody cares.

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Speaker 1: And it's what did everybody else feel? Including Victor?

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Speaker 3: I think everybody and Rob I think they were all

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Speaker 3: kind of horrified, and you.

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Speaker 1: Know, and also did they use in the product in

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Speaker 1: the film?

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Speaker 3: Rob said, Okay, so we're all going to come in

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Speaker 3: on a Saturday, and you know how expensive that is

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Speaker 3: when you're only shooting Monday through Friday. Come in on

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Speaker 3: a Saturday just to reshoot the scene. So everybody comes

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Speaker 3: in and we get dressed up in that moment for

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Speaker 3: that scene, and Rob does one big master take of

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Speaker 3: Daddy Warbucks just sort of going, hey, and bit buddy, buddy,

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Speaker 3: it's great in this great this happened? Okay, kid, exactly?

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Speaker 3: You over there, you person, you and he got one shot,

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Speaker 3: one master take one shot, and then Rob said, okay,

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Speaker 3: got that, so while we're here, and then he proceeded

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Speaker 3: to reshoot other things that he thought he could make.

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Speaker 1: It, so he tanked it to it. He did tank it,

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Speaker 1: and so they couldn't use it.

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Speaker 3: So they ended up using where So you look in

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Speaker 3: the film and Daddy Warbucks proposes to Grace Ferrell in

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Speaker 3: that and that's because that's because of Rob, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and his courage.

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Speaker 3: His courage. Absolutely. And then at the end of the

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Speaker 3: year when the film came out, Time magazine said something,

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Speaker 3: or maybe it was a newsweek any of the said

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Speaker 3: that in Things that Happened this Year, Daddy Warbucks Mary

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Speaker 3: is a black Grace Ferrell and nobody cares. So I

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Speaker 3: don't know what that's the answer to, but it's just

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Speaker 3: an issue of things that you know, you think, you

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Speaker 3: get to a certain point where you know things are changing,

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Speaker 3: and then boom, you're sort of slammed back into that reality.

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Speaker 1: What are you in the middle of doing now?

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Speaker 3: I can't remember you're doing?

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Speaker 1: You rehearsing some show?

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I say so, I've got a lady day.

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Speaker 3: It was on the West End.

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Speaker 1: You're going to go to London.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I've never been. No, I've never performed on the

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Speaker 3: West End.

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Speaker 1: That's what I mean. You've never performed over there.

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Speaker 3: Not I performed, but never on the West End. I've

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Speaker 3: never I've done like concerts and stuff that I've never

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Speaker 3: done a show.

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Speaker 1: You never did a legit show?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: What of the places outside of New York have you performed?

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Speaker 1: That's an interesting thing to think about.

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Speaker 3: Well, in terms of like concert work everywhere, but actual shows,

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Speaker 3: I've only done, Well, that's not true. I did the

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Speaker 3: Secret Garden Tour million years ago, so you do kind

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Speaker 3: of a national tour, you go all over the place. No, La, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I did it, but as you know, ensemble member, you know.

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Speaker 3: And then I did Masterclass. It is the only other

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Speaker 3: one that I did. I did that in LA and

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Speaker 3: at the Kennedy Center. We did the taper at the

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Speaker 3: Kennedy Center and Plays and Players in Philadelphia before we

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Speaker 3: came into New York. But that's been the nineties.

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Speaker 1: Do you find that you stay in New York and

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Speaker 1: try to stay in New York if that's home and

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Speaker 1: that's easier for you, and well, yeah, I mean it

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Speaker 1: is Broadway.

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Speaker 3: It's Broadway and that's where I want to be. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but especially since since having kids, you know, I mean,

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Speaker 3: do you have no Well, I have a six month old,

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Speaker 3: and I have a sixteen year old, and I have

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Speaker 3: two step sons who are sixteen and thirteen.

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Speaker 1: So it's you have a sixteen year old and that's yours,

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Speaker 1: that's mine, and you have a six month old that's mine,

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Speaker 1: that's yours.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, you know what that's like, having a bit

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Speaker 3: of a spread in between.

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Speaker 1: You had a kid when you were very young, the sixteen.

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Speaker 3: Year old, Well, that's very kind of you to say. No,

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Speaker 3: I was thirty when I had my first and now

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Speaker 3: I'm forty six and.

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Speaker 1: You want to have another baby?

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Speaker 3: I you know, I or you were drunk on a

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Speaker 3: sailboat with your husband?

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Speaker 1: What happened? Which is it?

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Speaker 3: Which is it? It's it's it's somewhere in between. It's

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Speaker 3: really that the Broncos won the Super Bowl. Seriously, my god,

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Speaker 3: and my husband is a big Broncos fan, and nine

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Speaker 3: months later history the rest is Sally James McDonald's Winson. No, yeah,

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Speaker 3: what are you gonna dow?

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Speaker 1: Was that for you? Because I mean, I don't always

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Speaker 1: want to ask. I was saying, how I want to

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Speaker 1: do another show, but I don't want to be away

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Speaker 1: at dinner time every night. Yeah, for four to six months,

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Speaker 1: That's what's that like? Do you bring the kids to

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Speaker 1: the theater?

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Speaker 3: I did, well, I certainly did with my sixteen year old.

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Speaker 3: When she was little, she was at the theater all

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Speaker 3: the time with me. That was kind of the only way.

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Speaker 3: And I imagine, well, I know for a fact, when

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Speaker 3: I'm in London, I'm staying very close to the theater,

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Speaker 3: and she'll be at the theater. And and if I

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Speaker 3: were to get another Broadway show, I would just bring

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Speaker 3: her there because you don't want to you don't want

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Speaker 3: to miss anything, and you don't you don't want to

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Speaker 3: make them feel like.

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Speaker 1: What about the baby?

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Speaker 3: But yeah, the baby will come. Absolutely, she has.

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Speaker 1: To just be with you right up till the half hour.

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Speaker 3: That's what I've been doing now this year, you know,

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Speaker 3: since i've had her, I've started back concertizing and literally

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Speaker 3: I've had her backstage with either my husband when he

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Speaker 3: can join me, or my babysitter, and I will sing

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Speaker 3: and then run off stage and nurse her and then

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Speaker 3: you know, go do your meet and greet or whatever.

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Speaker 3: And actually during one concert she was really fussy, and

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Speaker 3: so my husband went on and performed, and I ran

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Speaker 3: off stage and nursed her and called her down and

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Speaker 3: they went back on stage. Crazy crazy.

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Speaker 1: Where did you meet him? Your husband?

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Speaker 3: We met doing one hundred and ten in the Shade,

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Speaker 3: the show on Broadway back in two thousand and seven. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it was a long time ago, really, Yeah. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: it was a crazy time too. I met him and

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Speaker 3: then my dad was killed in the plane crash like

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Speaker 3: a couple of weeks, like about six weeks later. Your dad,

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Speaker 3: he was a high school principal that you grew.

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Speaker 1: Up in California. Yeah, but you were born in Germany.

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Speaker 3: I was born in Germany.

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Speaker 1: What was he doing over there?

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Speaker 3: He was in the he was in the army. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and then yeah, I was raised in Fresno, California, and

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Speaker 3: my dad was a high school principal and then he

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Speaker 3: went on to become an associated superintendent of schools there.

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Speaker 3: But his passion was flying and he flew small planes

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Speaker 3: and he had his own and he was he had

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Speaker 3: just recently retired and he had his own plane that

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Speaker 3: he was flying, and yeah, he had Where were you

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Speaker 3: that I was actually walking. I just finished the matinee

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Speaker 3: of one hundred and in the shape. We were still

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Speaker 3: in previews and I was walking with my husband. He

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Speaker 3: wasn't my husband at the time, he was just a

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Speaker 3: friend at the time. A bunch of us were walking

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Speaker 3: to meet the rest of the cast to have you know,

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Speaker 3: a post you know, Sunday matinee drink with the entire cast,

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Speaker 3: and my stepmom called.

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Speaker 1: And said, my dad was remarried.

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Speaker 3: Yes, he was remarried. And you yes, my mom was

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Speaker 3: She lives next door to me in the city. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: or yeah, in Westchester. When she retired she left town breath, yes, yes,

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Speaker 3: but yeah. My stepmom called me and said, and I

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Speaker 3: was just I was on fifty third Street between eighth

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Speaker 3: and ninth Avenues, and it was it was It's interesting,

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Speaker 3: you know in those moments, you know, you see what

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Speaker 3: happens in film and you think it'll be similar, you know,

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Speaker 3: in real life, and it's it seldom is you know,

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Speaker 3: as an act Well, I didn't. I didn't compute what

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Speaker 3: she was saying. You know, she said, your dad, dad

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Speaker 3: had an accident while he was flying the plane and

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Speaker 3: he didn't make it. And I kept saying, oh, I

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Speaker 3: said okay, so where is he now? And she said, Audra,

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Speaker 3: he didn't make it. I was like, okay, well where

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Speaker 3: it is? Yeah, but I wasn't. It wasn't computing either,

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Speaker 3: you know, and I was just really stunned. And it

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Speaker 3: took it took a day for me to really start

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Speaker 3: to cry, you know, because it just it ver close

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Speaker 3: to him, yeah, yeah, very close, and it just wasn't

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Speaker 3: making sense, you know. So it's interesting. I mean, it's

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Speaker 3: been ten years on it'll be ten years actually next

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Speaker 3: week that he's since his passing, and but it's just interesting.

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Speaker 3: As an actor, this sounds so cold and callous and

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Speaker 3: it's not. It's not meant to be. But as an actor,

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Speaker 3: there was a part of me that was sort of

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Speaker 3: floating away from my body watching the scene, going, I

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Speaker 3: don't think you're having the right.

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Speaker 1: Reaction, right, you know, I don't process.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's not you know, if this were a scene,

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Speaker 3: you'd fall to the ground and you know, break into

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Speaker 3: a million pieces, and you're not doing that. You're you're

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Speaker 3: playing the scene. It's so strange. But actually I know

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Speaker 3: exactly when I really started to cry about my dad's passing,

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Speaker 3: and it was I found out. We were getting ready

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Speaker 3: to open one hundred and ten in the Shade, and

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Speaker 3: so we were getting ready to go into critics Week

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Speaker 3: where critics are coming and they're saying, I'm saying I

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Speaker 3: have to go, and they're saying, you're the star of

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Speaker 3: the show. You can't leave as I have to. And

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Speaker 3: so they canceled a couple of shows so I could

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Speaker 3: fly home to California.

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Speaker 1: This is for their father's funeral. Yeah, they said, you

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Speaker 1: can't leave.

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Speaker 3: Well, they were just they were like, how do we

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Speaker 3: do this? You know? And actually it was at the

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Speaker 3: end of it was like right at Tony, what's it

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Speaker 3: called it? When it's the cutoff time? Had qualification time,

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Speaker 3: So everybody was like, what do we do? So they

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Speaker 3: were kind enough to cancel enough shows for me to

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Speaker 3: run home for the funeral and trying to work that

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Speaker 3: out with my stepmom who was devastated and you know,

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Speaker 3: really broken, and trying to keep her together and keep

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Speaker 3: the family together and figure it all out. And it

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Speaker 3: wasn't until after the funeral you're saying hello to everybody.

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Speaker 3: And I just kind of kept it together the whole time.

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Speaker 3: And then as soon as I agreed it, like the

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Speaker 3: thirtieth person or something here, like a thousand people at

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Speaker 3: his funeral. He was very very well known and very

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Speaker 3: loved in Fresno, California. And his older sister came and said,

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Speaker 3: how are you doing?

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Speaker 1: And that's when I lost it, when you emptied out.

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Speaker 3: I emptied out. But it was you know. But once again,

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Speaker 3: that's not how I mean. Maybe maybe a good director,

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Speaker 3: but that's not how I just imagine the film.

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Speaker 1: It was an actress. You're always controlling and managing your feelings. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: there was the lovers and knobs and dials inside of us.

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Speaker 1: They were in there playing with all them. Yes, of

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Speaker 1: course we get paid for you know. So you moved

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Speaker 1: to Fresno when you grew up in Fresno beginning at

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Speaker 1: what age?

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Speaker 3: I was nine months old?

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Speaker 1: To me, you're your little baby. So you're a child.

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Speaker 1: And so there's the Order McDonald who grows up in California. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's the Order of McDonald, who now is one of

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Speaker 1: the princesses of the Broadway Theater. There's like a Mount Rushmore.

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Speaker 1: It's you and burned Itad and all these chicks. Now,

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Speaker 1: who are these the greatest singers in the world? And

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Speaker 1: I want to talk about the audre in between. So

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Speaker 1: the order in between when you first started into the business,

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Speaker 1: when people are hiring you and as you're building your

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Speaker 1: career in New York and singing, what were they hiring

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Speaker 1: you for?

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Speaker 3: Well, I think it had more to do with if

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Speaker 3: I look back on it now, and no one's ever

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Speaker 3: asked me this, So kudos to you.

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Speaker 1: Well, I do try.

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Speaker 3: You've got the talent, But I think it had more

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Speaker 3: to do with I wasn't what people were expecting, you know,

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Speaker 3: back in those days. Can I say back in those days, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: the early nineties. You know, you'd go an audition for

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Speaker 3: something and they'd see an African American girl in her

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Speaker 3: twenties walk in, and I think they'd expect some big

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Speaker 3: gospel voice, or you know, they're like, can you be

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Speaker 3: street smart? You know all those code words and whatnot,

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Speaker 3: And I would sort of break out with the pseudo

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Speaker 3: operatic voice that had Broadway qualities and was a bit goofy,

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Speaker 3: and so I think it just intrigued people and anything.

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Speaker 3: I think that's even how I got into Juilliard. When

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Speaker 3: I auditioned for Juilliard and I wasn't, you know, I

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Speaker 3: wasn't really wanting to pursue classical music, but I thought,

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Speaker 3: I'll audition on the strength of my voice. That's that's

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Speaker 3: my strength.

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Speaker 1: Was that a goal to go to Juilliard?

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Speaker 3: Well, I wanted to go to New York. I wanted

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Speaker 3: to live in New York Juilliard was it Lincoln Center,

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Speaker 3: you know, you know the good beginning, Yeah, And I

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Speaker 3: thought I'd be able to get like my acting classes

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Speaker 3: in nancing class as well. I was there. I didn't

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Speaker 3: realize that once you're in a program, once you're in

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Speaker 3: a department, you know you shall not stray, you stay

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Speaker 3: in that department, and you know, so I just went

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Speaker 3: in there an audition, didn't really know what I was doing,

349
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Speaker 3: and kind of riffed at the end of a Mozart area.

350
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Speaker 3: You're not supposed to riff with Mozart, and I did.

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Speaker 3: And I said, I was a meto soprano and I'm

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Speaker 3: singing subrette, you know, roles for them, showing them. I

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Speaker 3: sang a subrette aria from the note to figure out

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Speaker 3: maryaifigure out.

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Speaker 1: And so for people who don't know what subrette is,

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Speaker 1: what is that? I'm one of those people, by the

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Speaker 1: way you do surete.

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Speaker 3: Well, Subrette is sort of like a really high light soprano,

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Speaker 3: not necessarily coloratura, but she's like a young, sweet heroine,

360
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Speaker 3: lighter sound, not like a full lyric soprano. And so

361
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Speaker 3: it's a lot of people say the ena roles despina

362
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Speaker 3: or it's their lina, the little cute roles. So anyway,

363
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Speaker 3: that's what I sang. I sang one of those arias.

364
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Speaker 3: But then I said I'm a mezzo soprano, which I

365
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Speaker 3: just was just that just showed how much I didn't know,

366
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Speaker 3: how little I do. And they laughed at me and

367
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Speaker 3: they said how old are you and I said I'm

368
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Speaker 3: seventeen and they just said okay, And I thought, well,

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Speaker 3: I blew that. And then two weeks later they called

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Speaker 3: me and said, we want you to come to Juilliard.

371
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Speaker 3: But I don't think I think it was just intrigue

372
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Speaker 3: on their part.

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Speaker 1: Are you there for four years? Well, would you start working?

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Speaker 3: No? I was there for five years.

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Speaker 1: But you finished there, you graduated from there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I took a leave of absence because I had

377
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Speaker 3: a suicide attempt actually while I was there, So I

378
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Speaker 3: took a leave of absence. There's a lot that happened

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Speaker 3: between the Order and Presner, California and the Order who's

380
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Speaker 3: on Broadway.

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Speaker 1: Now, okay, we're going to cover as much of that

382
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Speaker 1: as you care to time.

383
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Speaker 3: I'm completely open about it.

384
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Speaker 1: So you're in Juilliard, Yeah, what years was that? That

385
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Speaker 1: five years was from when to when?

386
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Speaker 3: It was from nineteen eighty eight to nineteen ninety three.

387
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Speaker 1: Right, So when you're there, was it trouble for you

388
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Speaker 1: fitting in? Did you feel uncomfortable and out of place?

389
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Speaker 4: There?

390
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,960
Speaker 1: Absolutely was that a part of what led you to

391
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Speaker 1: do what you did.

392
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I felt out of place artistically. I felt all

393
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Speaker 3: my life growing up in Preston, California, all I ever

394
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Speaker 3: wanted to do was beyond Broadway. And then I thought,

395
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Speaker 3: you know, let me audition for Juilliard. Just didn't think

396
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Speaker 3: it through audition, got in. So everybody back at home

397
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,440
Speaker 3: is like, wow, Udra got into Juilliard in New York.

398
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,800
Speaker 3: She's you know, she's gonna make it. And then I

399
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,159
Speaker 3: get to Juilliard and I'm studying classical music. I'm like,

400
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Speaker 3: this isn't what I want to do. I don't want

401
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,520
Speaker 3: to be an apt for singer. Why surely they're going

402
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,639
Speaker 3: to let me go take some acting classes. Surely it

403
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:47,320
Speaker 3: go do some dance less and surely didn't go an

404
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,560
Speaker 3: audition for Broadway shows. No, you have to just study,

405
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:51,600
Speaker 3: you know.

406
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:52,560
Speaker 1: You are enjoying it.

407
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,800
Speaker 3: No, And I felt lost. I felt completely lost. I

408
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,520
Speaker 3: felt like I was offering about that.

409
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Speaker 1: But that alone, I'm assuming me if I'm wrong, didn't

410
00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:03,160
Speaker 1: lead you to do something drastic. What else?

411
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Speaker 5: No?

412
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,000
Speaker 3: I mean, well, you know, to an extent you can

413
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Speaker 3: say yeah, well, you know, like I said, I'm open

414
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Speaker 3: about it because you know, I think I'm a case

415
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:14,199
Speaker 3: of it gets better, you know. But I so I

416
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,199
Speaker 3: was lost in terms of that, and then feeling like

417
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,600
Speaker 3: I couldn't just quit and go back home because I

418
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,679
Speaker 3: would look like a failure back at home. And you know,

419
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,960
Speaker 3: I had boy trouble while I was there. And so

420
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Speaker 3: the culmination of being where I wanted to be in

421
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 3: New York City, thinking I'm finally going to realize my dreams,

422
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 3: stuck and failing miserably at Juilliard, not being able to

423
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,399
Speaker 3: admit to anybody at home what was going on, Not

424
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:38,920
Speaker 3: being able to go home because I would have looked

425
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:44,360
Speaker 3: like a failure, living literally on Broadway, on Broadway, my apartment,

426
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:49,720
Speaker 3: my address was Broadway twenty five oh eight Broadway third.

427
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,640
Speaker 3: I lived with the residential of the old Broadway like well,

428
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Speaker 3: the wild wild West.

429
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Speaker 1: Anything north of Baby sixth Street, forget.

430
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Speaker 3: It, you not in those days, shield and a sword

431
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,840
Speaker 3: to go to the grocery store, right and crazy to

432
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Speaker 3: look at it now, Oh my goodness.

433
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Speaker 1: But what I'm curious about is that the woman, the

434
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Speaker 1: young woman from Fresno, who goes to New York. And again,

435
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,080
Speaker 1: let me put a fine point of this before you answer,

436
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 1: which is, and you say you have boy troubles? Are

437
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,679
Speaker 1: you dating a different kind of boy now with Juliet? No,

438
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,520
Speaker 1: but the boys were hard for you to understand.

439
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,679
Speaker 3: No, I was, you know, I was.

440
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 1: Was that all the same?

441
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,880
Speaker 3: Well? I was just not being treated well by a boy. Yeah,

442
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 3: boys are the same.

443
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,880
Speaker 1: All boys in the same where you go? Yeah, Ok,

444
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 1: thank you. My guest has been ugum McDonald everyone, good night, everybody. No,

445
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,520
Speaker 1: but but but but the reason I asked is I

446
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:39,919
Speaker 1: want to Are you a fish out of water in

447
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:40,520
Speaker 1: every way?

448
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,520
Speaker 3: Yes? I was a fish out of water in every

449
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,720
Speaker 3: way except for the fact that I was in New York,

450
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,199
Speaker 3: which is what I knew I wanted. I knew that

451
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,680
Speaker 3: much was right, but everything else I kept you grounded, yes,

452
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 3: but everything else was wrong. And so you know, in

453
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,760
Speaker 3: those days I was, you know, twenty twenty one. I

454
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,120
Speaker 3: couldn't see past the fact that I had gotten here

455
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:02,159
Speaker 3: and everything up up to now had gone swimmingly, and

456
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,560
Speaker 3: all of a sudden it was all falling apart.

457
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 1: And if you don't know my asking what what were

458
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,159
Speaker 1: the the ramp up the time and what you were

459
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 1: thinking and feeling? And the only reason I asked this

460
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 1: for people who listen to this, who might be young

461
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 1: people and artists who experience a certain kind of pain

462
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 1: that you experience in this business that I think is

463
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 1: very unique, because you exude in your work. You seem

464
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,119
Speaker 1: so confident and so powerful.

465
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 3: Well, I think it's because I'm now, I'm I'm where

466
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to be. I'm doing what I'm supposed to

467
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 3: be doing. I'm doing what I think if you want

468
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 3: to get I don't know.

469
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,320
Speaker 1: You're not playing the e Ina roles anymore.

470
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 3: No, no, no, But I it's more about I'm artistically fulfilled.

471
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,199
Speaker 3: I think my artistic soul is fulfilled. It's doing what

472
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:47,360
Speaker 3: it's supposed to do.

473
00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 4: You agree, look copy to me.

474
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 1: Not that she doesn't still find challenges coming up. Audra

475
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,680
Speaker 1: McDonald talks about a song that's been rather hard to sing.

476
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 1: Audra McDonald isn't the only star who struggled to find

477
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:29,160
Speaker 1: her voice.

478
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,880
Speaker 5: I mean when I tell people I was extremely shy

479
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 5: and nobody believes me.

480
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: Now that's the thing that people have to overcome.

481
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:35,920
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly.

482
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 5: You know, I've found a lot of comedians to be

483
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:43,360
Speaker 5: extraordinarily serious and draws withdrawn sometimes, So yeah, I think

484
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,120
Speaker 5: sometimes we overcome things by going after the very thing

485
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:47,200
Speaker 5: that really eludes us.

486
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 1: To hear more about Renee Fleming's story, go to Hear's

487
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 1: Thething dot org. This is Alec Baldwin and you're listening

488
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,920
Speaker 1: to Here's the Thing. If ever there was a track

489
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:05,720
Speaker 1: record that warranted dividum, it is Audra McDonald's. But despite

490
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:10,400
Speaker 1: her unparalleled fame, the Queen of Broadway is disarmingly humble,

491
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 1: perhaps the mark of a person who's endured great pain

492
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 1: in her case. While studying at Juilliard, this.

493
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:22,680
Speaker 3: Was my third year and it had been just yet

494
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 3: another year of floundering and doing poorly in all my classes,

495
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 3: and teachers just saying you know, you've got to give

496
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 3: over to your operatic sound and me not wanting to,

497
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 3: not knowing what that was. And when I would get

498
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,640
Speaker 3: close to an operatic sound, I'd say, I don't want

499
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,119
Speaker 3: to sound like that. So I felt like I was

500
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 3: just being pushed and they were doing their job rightfully.

501
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 3: So this is like, this is your Juilliard to study.

502
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 3: This is what you're going to do to push me

503
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:51,879
Speaker 3: into a place that just wasn't me artistically. So that

504
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 3: coupled with being you know, twenty twenty one by yourself

505
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 3: in New York and being treated poorly by whatever his

506
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 3: name was, what's his name? We're going to say that no, no, no, no, no,

507
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 3: he's he's fine. He's a great guy now, but at

508
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 3: any rate, So all of that combined with me being

509
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,880
Speaker 3: sort of like the great hope from my hometown too.

510
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 3: You know, Order's gonna make it. If anybody's gonna make

511
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 3: it on Broadway, it's going to be Order. I I

512
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,160
Speaker 3: the boy was the catalyst that sort of like sort

513
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 3: of broke that. It was the star that broke the

514
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:31,119
Speaker 3: camel's back. But it was three years of I'm in

515
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 3: the wrong place, doing the wrong thing. I'm failing miserably,

516
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 3: but I'm here in Disneyland, where I'm supposed to be,

517
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,879
Speaker 3: where I said I wanted to be, so I sored

518
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:44,199
Speaker 3: you do I I slit my wrists one night?

519
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,119
Speaker 1: What happened? And written about this?

520
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 3: I haven't, I guess I should. I speak about it

521
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 3: all the time, but maybe one day I'll write about it.

522
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,959
Speaker 3: Found you I I I slipped my wrists and then

523
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 3: realized what I had done and called the affairs director

524
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 3: who I had become close with, and said, I helped me,

525
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 3: and someone came and helped you, and they helped me,

526
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 3: and they took me to a mental hospital. It's interesting

527
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 3: this mental hospital still there, Gracie Square Hospital. It's next

528
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:22,920
Speaker 3: door to my ob gyn who delivered my six month

529
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,119
Speaker 3: old's what a circuit that is.

530
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:28,680
Speaker 1: So I almost didn't make it, and now I made

531
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 1: it and I'm in this.

532
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,440
Speaker 3: I had to pass it, you know, every week to

533
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,639
Speaker 3: go to my obgyn appointment, I had to pass Gracie

534
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 3: Square Hospital. And every time I passed it, there was

535
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 3: a part of me just, you know, waddling down the

536
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,160
Speaker 3: street pregnant as can be. Some twenty nine years later,

537
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 3: I would I would. I felt such relief and joy,

538
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 3: and you know, a sense of yes, I get the

539
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 3: big picture.

540
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 1: Now, what month in the school year was that that

541
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,920
Speaker 1: that happened. It was January or February, So it was

542
00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,959
Speaker 1: at the midpoint. Let's say, and you take off obviously

543
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 1: when you come back, when you come back the following fall,

544
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 1: you don't.

545
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:06,199
Speaker 3: I came back the following fall for a little bit,

546
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 3: and then I got an opportunity to audition for something

547
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,919
Speaker 3: that ended up that I ended up being the Secret

548
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:18,840
Speaker 3: Garden actually, and I asked the you know, administration office

549
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 3: and my the dean, what I should do, and they said,

550
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 3: you know, go do that. It's okay, take the time

551
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 3: off to go do that. It seems like that's where

552
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 3: you want to be, so and.

553
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,359
Speaker 1: They probably didn't want to disappoint.

554
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 3: You at that point.

555
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: At that point that point they were like, sure, go

556
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,119
Speaker 1: go you want to go sing on and go, go

557
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, we don't ever want to get your way.

558
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:38,680
Speaker 1: You know.

559
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,440
Speaker 3: The thing is there was actually a lot, not a lot,

560
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:45,400
Speaker 3: but they had a special arrangement with Gracie Square Hospital.

561
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 3: There were a couple of other Juilliard students there that

562
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:51,239
Speaker 3: I had wondered what had happened to I was there.

563
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 3: I was at the hospital for me. But Grace's Square,

564
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 3: I think is private hospital. I was there for a month.

565
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:58,640
Speaker 3: They evaluated me and said, you you're not going anytime soon?

566
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 1: And did that change you?

567
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 3: I was so heavily medicated. I was heavily medicated.

568
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 1: When you say that, it's so compelling to me because

569
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:11,439
Speaker 1: when I see you, I think of you. I think

570
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 1: of you like you know, you're so strong your personality

571
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 1: and perform. I view you as a person that's going

572
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 1: to go. I'm going back into the burning building to

573
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 1: save the baby.

574
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 3: Well that is me now, yeah, but I think maybe

575
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 3: that experience helped make me that now. I mean, look,

576
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 3: I'm still a mess. I mean everybody's a mess, always

577
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 3: a mess. I you know, and I what, I understood

578
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,359
Speaker 3: a lot going on. Yeah, and I realized, you know,

579
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 3: I'm someone who suffers from depression. But I learned in

580
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:39,399
Speaker 3: the years A how to deal with it. B to

581
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 3: find you know, find my joy and see to realize that,

582
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 3: like alcoholism, it's something that you wake up every day

583
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:46,639
Speaker 3: and you say, yeah, that's still something that I have

584
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 3: to deal with, as opposed to saying, oh, I'm just

585
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 3: not depressed anymore. Just but to learn how to cope

586
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 3: with that, and my art gives me a lot of

587
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 3: joy and keeps me, keeps me strong.

588
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: So what's the first job you do? This is a

589
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:02,919
Speaker 1: tired question, but I can't help back ask you, especially

590
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 1: with somebody like you, what's the first job when you do?

591
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 1: When you sit there and go, I got this. I

592
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 1: think I got this, like I'm over the no no

593
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 1: meaning you know that the sky is the limit for you.

594
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 1: You're out there and you're doing it, and you're connecting

595
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 1: to that material you know, and you go, I think

596
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 1: I really really have a shot at my dream coming true.

597
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 3: Here it was Sally Murphy and she was she was

598
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 3: Julie Jordan, and I played Carry Pippridge and it was

599
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 3: the guy Michael Hayden was with Hayden, Yes, yes, yes,

600
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 3: Nick Heitner at Lincoln Center, which is also crazy for

601
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 3: me to then open, you know, in Carousel at Lincoln Center,

602
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,960
Speaker 3: where at Vivian Momont Theater where you can look up

603
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 3: and I can see the school that I, you know,

604
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 3: had a hard time in and and I remember standing

605
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 3: in those in those windows at Juilliard looking at Vivian Beaumont,

606
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 3: seeing Patty Lapone performing there and going why am I

607
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 3: not doing that.

608
00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 1: And then how'd you feel.

609
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 3: Like the luckiest survivor in the world. I mean, and

610
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 3: I felt a sense of gratitude, a sense of relief,

611
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 3: and a sense of Okay, I get it. I now

612
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 3: get that I was on my path.

613
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: Out the window of one place is your future. Out

614
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: the window of Juilliard, where you try to snuff yourself

615
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: is the Vivian Beaumont, where you're going to do carousel

616
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 1: across the streets, always a vista for you. What might

617
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 1: have been was, which was something not bad and wonderful? Yeah,

618
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 1: I mean babies and Tony Awards and all that stuff.

619
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 3: I think I think what I realized is there's a

620
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 3: bigger picture. And I think, you know, it's very easy

621
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 3: to you know, just get into tunnel vision, especially when

622
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 3: you're young and you know it's only you that you're

623
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 3: having to think about and not but that's a bad thing.

624
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 3: But it's just easy to get buried very quickly under

625
00:29:56,080 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 3: emotion and fear and disappointment and all that. And I

626
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 3: just think that I learned to have a bigger picture

627
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 3: about life.

628
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 1: We're taking a break, so stay with us. Once you

629
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 1: become extraordinarily successful in the busines. You won your first

630
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 1: Tony Award for what show? For Carousel? And you're how old?

631
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 3: Twenty three?

632
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 1: Your child and you when you you were fresh out

633
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 1: of that situation, you weren't far that far we move

634
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 1: from that situation.

635
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 3: Was two and a half years away from that situation

636
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 3: and a half years.

637
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: Later, which is nothing. Yeah, you win a Tony Award

638
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 1: and you've won six Tony Awards. Yes, you won the

639
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 1: most Tony Awards of anybody. Are you tied with somebody

640
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 1: you're tied with?

641
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 4: No?

642
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 5: Not with that.

643
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 2: No.

644
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 3: I love.

645
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 1: I love when people sit there and they go, oh,

646
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't keep track of that. I go, you, liar,

647
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: you got all your Tonies lined up?

648
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 3: They do.

649
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 1: No, I'm not you, I'm saying, but people in general,

650
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 1: I doubt you do. To actually but to embarrass you

651
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 1: even more than I already have. Good God, you are

652
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 1: enormously talented and everything clicks, and you're very, very successful,

653
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 1: and you're a gorgeous woman. Well you're a gorgeous woman.

654
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 1: And what did that do in terms of your career,

655
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 1: meaning that you could have gone and made films and

656
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 1: then a television series. Did you have a lot of

657
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 1: offers you swept aside.

658
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 3: No, I've never had those offers. I mean, I did

659
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 3: one television series once where I played the best friend

660
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 3: in Private Practice to the main character show Private Practice,

661
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 3: Kate Walsh played Addison Montgomery and I played her best friend.

662
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 1: Did you do that?

663
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,080
Speaker 3: I did it for five six years. The show ran

664
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 3: for seven years, and I did it for five or

665
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 3: six years. But No, Hollywood has never really banged down

666
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 3: on my doors. And I think that's because you're very

667
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 3: kind to say I'm gorgeous, but I don't think I'm

668
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 3: the typical sort of look. I'm also a big girl,

669
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 3: and I'm proud of that, and I'm fine with that.

670
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 3: But you know, it's interesting when you go to Hollywood

671
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 3: and you see these people on the movie screens your

672
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:53,440
Speaker 3: entire life, and then you see them in person and

673
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 3: they're all like one fourth of that taper airplay.

674
00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 1: What the hell didn't look well?

675
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 3: Do you want a cheeseburger?

676
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:01,960
Speaker 1: Yeah?

677
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I mean, it's say, look terrible, but

678
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 3: it's just for me. It's just like I I you know,

679
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 3: I think size wise that has something to do with it,

680
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 3: and I and I don't know that that's where I'm

681
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 3: at my strongest, right, you know, And I think it works.

682
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 1: So hard to develop this perch you're in.

683
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 5: Now.

684
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 1: What's that like for you to have to go out

685
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 1: and wring yourself.

686
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 3: Out again and again every night. Well, the process for me,

687
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 3: I go really inside. I get really quiet. People around

688
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 3: me think that I'm angry with them before I do

689
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 3: a show because I just get very quiet and I

690
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 3: go inside and stay still. And I'm not. I'm not

691
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 3: one to kind of jump around and go visit other

692
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 3: dressing rooms. I just I have to kind of go

693
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 3: in and be super super super quiet and still because focus. Yeah,

694
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 3: because in a minute, you're going to have to turn

695
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 3: all of your insides out, and so if I'm giving

696
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 3: all that out beforehand, I will have nothing to get.

697
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 1: What was one of the hardest ones for you, Lady Day.

698
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 3: Absolutely that was by myself on stage for an hour

699
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 3: and forty five minutes, just having to give it and

700
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 3: especially living that life that she led. I have to

701
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 3: have to live that on stage every night. That I

702
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 3: was no fun to be around before the show. After

703
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 3: the show, I was a ball because.

704
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 1: That's very common.

705
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 3: Yes, because I was thrilled it was over until the

706
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 3: next you know, it's interesting.

707
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 2: I know.

708
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 3: I can't remember who. Oh, maybe it was Kathy Bates.

709
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 3: I can't remember who said this to me, but I said, well,

710
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 3: why don't you ever come back to Broadway or do

711
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 3: a show on Broadway? And I think it was Kathy Bage.

712
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 3: She said, oh, honey, oh that's hard. It's hard, and

713
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 3: she's right, you know it is, because especially when you think, Okay,

714
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 3: I've done it, I've given a good performance. I got

715
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 3: through that. You know, when you're doing a film, you're like, great,

716
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 3: it's in the can and now I'm off the cab

717
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 3: or whatever, you know. But Broadway it's like, and now

718
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 3: I have to do that again tomorrow night, and then

719
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 3: the next night after that and the next and it's

720
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 3: a blessing.

721
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 1: At the end of every day. I got to go

722
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,680
Speaker 1: to work exactly, you have that whole day and what

723
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 1: happens in that in the world. The worst thing for

724
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 1: me when I was acting was when I'd have a wonderful,

725
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 1: fun day and then I had to go to work

726
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,080
Speaker 1: and wring myself out and some drive to go do

727
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 1: the Scottish play.

728
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 3: Yes, for me, it was always on Sunday matinee when

729
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,720
Speaker 3: you're headed to your Sunday matinee. You're walking down ninth

730
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 3: Fablue and you're seeing everybody outside, either out of street

731
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,880
Speaker 3: fair or having wine and runch. And I can't tell

732
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 3: you how many in the sun. I can't hedly tell

733
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 3: you how many times you're walking down ninth Faber you

734
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 3: just want to take your hand and wipe all the

735
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,359
Speaker 3: food off of those sidewalk tables. It's like, that's not fair,

736
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 3: of course not. I mean, it's I'm doing what I

737
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 3: wanted to do my entire life.

738
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,640
Speaker 1: But there is that people are counting on you. Yes, amazing.

739
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 1: When I did Street Car, I got really sick and

740
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 1: I missed the show. I was out for it for

741
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 1: a weekend, the two Saturdays and the Sunday, and I

742
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 1: missed the show. But I go downstairs. I lived on

743
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:37,720
Speaker 1: Central Park West. I go downstairs. I cross over to Broadway.

744
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 1: I'm on eighty six then Broadway on the northeast corner.

745
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,759
Speaker 1: I'm going to cross over to William's Chicken Yes, and

746
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:43,640
Speaker 1: get my soup.

747
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 3: Yes.

748
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 1: And I'm there and this little woman looks up to me.

749
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: It's like seven o'clock at night. It's a it's a

750
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:50,839
Speaker 1: Friday night or a Saturday night rather, and she looks

751
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 1: up to me, this little owlish woman. She goes, aren't

752
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 1: you supposed to be on Broadway right now? And I thought,

753
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 1: it's town, flip the town.

754
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 3: I have a story like that too. I mean, we

755
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,960
Speaker 3: were it was New Year's Eve and Ethan Hawk had

756
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 3: been able to we were doing Henry the Fourth at

757
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 3: Lincoln Center, and he'd been able to get the entire

758
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 3: cast invited to the Plays and Players Club or a

759
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 3: what's the club over on the Players Club? Yes, for

760
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 3: New Year's Eve. So we're all there and we're all

761
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:19,920
Speaker 3: celebrating and it's wonderful, but we're, you know, in and

762
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,800
Speaker 3: amongst you know, the actual members of this club. And

763
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 3: it's New Year's Eve and I'm doing a play. And

764
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 3: I was still young, and I thought, I'm gonna have

765
00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 3: a cigarette. You know, why not, I'm gonna have a cigarette.

766
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 3: And I don't smoke as a rule, but I just

767
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 3: decided it's New Year's Eve, I'm gonna have wine and

768
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,319
Speaker 3: cigarettes and it'll be fun. So I was smoking out

769
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 3: on the little terrorists they have out there. I'm smoking

770
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 3: my cigarette. I'm chatting with some of my cast members

771
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:46,960
Speaker 3: and an older woman who's a member of the play's club.

772
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 3: She comes up to me and she said, I'd say

773
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,919
Speaker 3: you're Audra McDonald, but it couldn't possibly be her because

774
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:54,800
Speaker 3: she wouldn't be smoking.

775
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,000
Speaker 1: Never destroying her instrument.

776
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:01,959
Speaker 3: She wouldn't be smoking. And then she just sort of march, Now.

777
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 1: Who are people who in your life? In your career?

778
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 1: One might assume you've sung the song, sang the songs

779
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:12,320
Speaker 1: of pretty much everyone you want to sing. Where is

780
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 1: there one that's gotten by you? Is there some composer

781
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,399
Speaker 1: whose music you want to sing that you haven't sang.

782
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 3: No, I wouldn't say that. I mean there's always young

783
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,880
Speaker 3: com I am always championed the work of new, young

784
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,399
Speaker 3: musical theater composers, so I'm always looking for new work

785
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 3: to do. There are certain songs that I stay away

786
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 3: from because I don't feel that I can do them properly.

787
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:33,840
Speaker 3: For example, one that I have not been able to

788
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 3: conquer that I have tried a couple of times and

789
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,440
Speaker 3: never done in public because I can't conquer it is

790
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:41,279
Speaker 3: being Alive by Son Tim. I cannot. As much as

791
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,280
Speaker 3: that song moves me and as much as it means

792
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 3: to me, every time I try and sing it, I

793
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 3: fail so I have not done it in public and

794
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 3: I and I won't until I figure it out. And

795
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 3: that is that strange?

796
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,759
Speaker 1: It is No, No, I mean, I'm sure there's people.

797
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,560
Speaker 1: It's like in plays. I mean, I'm trying to roles.

798
00:36:58,800 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of.

799
00:36:59,719 --> 00:36:59,839
Speaker 6: Right.

800
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 3: Do you have writers whose work you steer clear of

801
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,279
Speaker 3: as a performer because you don't get it so you

802
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,320
Speaker 3: don't know how to bring it to life. Not that

803
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 3: you don't enjoy watching.

804
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,680
Speaker 1: I might enjoy watching, you know, whatever. I want to

805
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 1: have in the theater. Life itself is so filled with

806
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:19,320
Speaker 1: oddities now and surreal crap going on with the government

807
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: and everything. I want to see something which is really

808
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 1: I want some honesty. No, I need to have a

809
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 1: like oxygen. I need a big hit of honesty.

810
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 3: I you know, that's interesting. I was listening to a

811
00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 3: performer on the way down here who i'd absolutely admire,

812
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 3: whose work I admire, and they were singing a song

813
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 3: that didn't, in my mind, seem quite right for them.

814
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 3: Not that they weren't singing it beautifully, but I thought,

815
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 3: I don't think they believe this. I don't. I think

816
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 3: they're trying something and they don't believe it, and there's

817
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 3: a part of me that thought, why am I thinking

818
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 3: that about them? I do that stuff all the time.

819
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 3: But I think you're right. There is something going on

820
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 3: right now in the zeitgeist that is sort of like

821
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,720
Speaker 3: everybody is needing truth and needing needing something to ground

822
00:37:57,800 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 3: them and where is reality?

823
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 1: Any sat tire? And my last question for you is, well,

824
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 1: first of all, describe for me, if you would, as

825
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 1: I try to, always think about people in your profession

826
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 1: and who do what you do as well as you

827
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 1: do a moment when you're on stage and you used

828
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,640
Speaker 1: to go out there at night and you'd sing a

829
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:16,719
Speaker 1: song and you knew you were going to kill these people,

830
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 1: you know, the minute that you sang that song, the

831
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 1: way you said that you could almost feel the people

832
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 1: just getting destroyed by that song. Is that in a

833
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:25,879
Speaker 1: Lady Day as well?

834
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 2: Well?

835
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 3: I think in the beginning with Lady Day, because I

836
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 3: think no one thought that I could find her voice,

837
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 3: you know, because I'm a soprano, so it's like, what

838
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 3: are you doing? What's this soprano doing Lady Day? You know,

839
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 3: trying to be Billie Holiday. She doesn't have it in

840
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:41,279
Speaker 3: her And I didn't think I had it in me.

841
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 3: And so some nights, you know, the show opens and

842
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:46,920
Speaker 3: the first thing I do is sing before I even

843
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 3: start speaking, and so the audience and you can tell

844
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,359
Speaker 3: that the audience is waiting to hear is she going

845
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:54,799
Speaker 3: to get it? And on nights that I really felt

846
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 3: that I was really lined up, really lined up with Billy.

847
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:01,840
Speaker 3: I had I had enough, you know, of her perfume on,

848
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:03,840
Speaker 3: and I had the makeup right, and I had the

849
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 3: gin behind my ears so I could smell like what

850
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 3: she must have smelled like in those days. And I

851
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:11,800
Speaker 3: would open my mouth and sing the first all I

852
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:15,440
Speaker 3: know is I'm in love with you, and you'd hear

853
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,439
Speaker 3: sometimes i'd hear the audience gasp, and that's when I'd

854
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 3: be like, Okay, I got that right now. Sustain it

855
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 3: for the next hour and forty five minutes, you know,

856
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 3: and I'd feel that. I'd think, Okay, they're they're taking

857
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 3: the journey with me. And there were nights where that

858
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:31,880
Speaker 3: wouldn't happen. I'd think, Okay, I got a drag them

859
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:33,800
Speaker 3: on this journey too, you know. But every once in

860
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:36,440
Speaker 3: a while there'd be that moment of and every once

861
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 3: in a while to hear people go, oh my god.

862
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 2: Ah, and no.

863
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:50,760
Speaker 3: Is jam In Low ye in there.

864
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:57,240
Speaker 6: You said that we are through. I know that should

865
00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 6: laugh A yes, care go I Wonderalah.

866
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 2: Has gone.

867
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:14,320
Speaker 1: The final line of a review from The Evening Standard

868
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:18,400
Speaker 1: for her recent West End debut as Billie Holiday doubles

869
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 1: as a review of Audra herself. Quote yet still she

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Speaker 1: stands broken but indomitable to the last unquote. I'm Alec Baldwin.

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Speaker 1: Here's the thing. Is brought to you by iHeart Radio.