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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Riley and this is Dakota, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 1: from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 2: My best friend ignored me for months then ask me

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Speaker 2: for a job favor.

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Speaker 3: Hey, can you do me a javor?

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Speaker 4: Please?

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Speaker 2: I met my best friend Sarah on our first day

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Speaker 2: of college, when we lived together for the following three years.

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Speaker 2: After college, I moved to LA to work in film

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Speaker 2: and she moved home with her parents to save up

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Speaker 2: for grad school. I haven't seen her in person since graduation,

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Speaker 2: but for the first year after college, we texted every day,

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Speaker 2: spoke on the phone often, and skyped almost weekly. By

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Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Scribbly dibbly, and if you

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Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the our

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Speaker 2: slash Okay Storytime subredd And I'm Savannah, I'm Dakota, and

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Speaker 2: we're here to give some good advice. Pretty goofily, But

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Speaker 2: we don't have all the answers. We don't even let

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Speaker 2: you know what we would do. We let us know

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Speaker 2: what you would do down the comments. This continued until

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Speaker 2: she randomly cut off contact with me out of the Blue.

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Speaker 2: I eventually got so worried about her that I called

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Speaker 2: her mom, who awardly apologized and told me that Sarah's

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Speaker 2: been spending time with her new boyfriend. After four months

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Speaker 2: of not hearing a word from her, she finally texted

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Speaker 2: briefly to tell me about Joe. From the little she's

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Speaker 2: told me and when I've gathered from his Facebook, Joe

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Speaker 2: is an abrasive I was a guard misogynist. Sarah's very

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Speaker 2: forward thinking, but has a history of picking disrespectful boyfriends.

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Speaker 2: This latest one seems to be sticking. I saw on

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Speaker 2: Facebook a few weeks ago that they're engaged. Obviously, I

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Speaker 2: was really hurt that I had to find out through

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Speaker 2: social media, but it gets worse. I've been fortunate career wise,

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Speaker 2: and a few months ago I got hired to write

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Speaker 2: a big budget movie for a major studio. An interview

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Speaker 2: I did got shared by one of our mutual friends,

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Speaker 2: which I assume is how Sarah saw it. Yesterday, I

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Speaker 2: got a message from her asking if I could get

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Speaker 2: Joe a job. Apparently he wants to be a TV writer.

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Speaker 2: Nowhere in her message does she congratulate me or ask

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Speaker 2: how I'm doing. Obviously, I have no intention of trying

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Speaker 2: to get Joe a job, but I can't help it.

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Speaker 2: I really want my friend back when she's not in

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Speaker 2: a relationship. Sarah is the greatest, most supper friend ever.

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Speaker 2: It's like she transforms into somebody I don't know as

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Speaker 2: soon as she gets a boyfriend. Is there any help

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Speaker 2: for our friendship or is it time to say goodbye

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Speaker 2: for good? There are some relevant comments I would have

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Speaker 2: to say that I think honestly, like, especially if she's

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Speaker 2: gonna have a boyfriend in there engaged, it seems like

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Speaker 2: he's gonna stick around, you know, and you don't want

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Speaker 2: to be like the backup every single time something goes wrong.

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Speaker 2: It's like, oh my gosh, what what happens?

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Speaker 5: What do we do?

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Speaker 4: What do we do?

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Speaker 2: And it's like I haven't spoken to you in months,

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Speaker 2: and now all of a sudden, you want me. Like

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Speaker 2: I don't think that's like a great friendship. I think

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Speaker 2: that's more transactional than anything. And I have had friends

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Speaker 2: like that, and I just like, and they also like,

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Speaker 2: we'll ask you for advice, but then also do their

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Speaker 2: own thing anyway, So it's like, what's the point.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, she's very transparently like didn't care at all really

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Speaker 6: for you, and it was more about what you can

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Speaker 6: do for her or for her boyfriend, which is an

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Speaker 6: extension of her.

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Speaker 2: So it's just not cool, Like you can't just all

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Speaker 2: of a sudden try to treat me like a friend

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Speaker 2: when you want something. Whether her boyfriends were controlling and

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Speaker 2: isolating her for friends, or if she simply pulls away

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Speaker 2: from her friendships every time she enters a relationship. Oh

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Speaker 2: Pie response. I can't even tell you how much this

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Speaker 2: comment resonates. For whatever reason, she naturally gravitates towards men

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Speaker 2: who are super controlling, always has. She's told me that

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Speaker 2: her greatest fear is passing away alone, and I think

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Speaker 2: that informs all of her relationships in a really negative way.

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Speaker 2: So you realize you were just a surrogate for a

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Speaker 2: boyfriend until she found another, Ohpi responds, Wow, that's depressingly accurate.

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Speaker 2: She's even joked about how she wishes I was a man,

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Speaker 2: or that we were attracted to the same gender so

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Speaker 2: she wouldn't have to bother finding a boyfriend. I never

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Speaker 2: thought about it like that, and now I feel used.

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Speaker 2: A comment air said Sarah was not a real friend.

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Speaker 2: Ohpi responds. I agree, and I usually have low tolerance

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Speaker 2: for this kind of crap too. It's just hard because

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Speaker 2: she's the closest friend I've ever had. As corny as

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Speaker 2: that sounds, I didn't know anyone when I moved to

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Speaker 2: my current city, and even though I've started to make

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Speaker 2: some good friendships, I still don't have a best friend

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Speaker 2: like I used to with her. I miss it, and

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Speaker 2: there is an update. I called Sarah's home phone the

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Speaker 2: morning after I got her message. Her mom answered and

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Speaker 2: told me she was out with Joe. Wait chatted for

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Speaker 2: a few minutes, and then she suddenly started crying. She

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Speaker 2: told me she feels like she's lost her daughter. She

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Speaker 2: said she would ask Sarah to call me. I didn't

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Speaker 2: get a call back. The next day, I got a

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Speaker 2: surprise visit from Lily, who Sarah and I were really

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Speaker 2: good friends with in college. Lily and I had fallen

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Speaker 2: out of touch, and I was really excited to see

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Speaker 2: her again. That night, I took her to a party.

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Speaker 2: An actor that Sarah always liked was there, and Lily

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Speaker 2: ended up hitting it off with him and posting a

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Speaker 2: picture of the three of us doing shots on Facebook.

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Speaker 2: That night, I got a text from Sarah, saying, since

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Speaker 2: when do you hang out with actor? I was extremely

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Speaker 2: annoyed and didn't respond. An hour later, she texted, I

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Speaker 2: guess you're too much of a celebrity to respond. Literally,

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Speaker 2: you don't talk to me, and then as soon as

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Speaker 2: you see that I'm doing well, you're like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: since went are you friends with that's person?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I mean this is just fake friend of clock dude.

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Speaker 6: I got a sense at the beginning of the story

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Speaker 6: that this might be someone who just when they get

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Speaker 6: in a relationship with somebody, they just completely lose everything

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Speaker 6: except for that relationship.

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Speaker 2: I don't understand howpy. I have never ever been like that.

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Speaker 2: It's like, no, my friends were here before you. I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna also hang out with my friends. Like why would

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Speaker 2: I just like cancel all my plans to now like

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Speaker 2: be with you and only you. I spent about an

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Speaker 2: hour ranting to poor Lily, and then composed an email

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Speaker 2: to Sarah. I think I kept it pretty unemotional. Basically,

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Speaker 2: I told her that she had really hurt me by

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Speaker 2: cutting me out of her life, and I didn't think

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Speaker 2: it was fair for her to suddenly reappear with no

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Speaker 2: explanation or apology. I also said that I think her

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Speaker 2: relationship with Joe is toxic, and then I hope she

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Speaker 2: overcomes her fear of being alone so that she can

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Speaker 2: stop jumping into unhealthy relationships. Finally, I told her that

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Speaker 2: both her mother and I are worried about her, but

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Speaker 2: I don't have the time or emotional energy to keep

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Speaker 2: trying anymore. If she wants to get in touch when

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Speaker 2: she's fixed her personal issues, I'll be open to listening.

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Speaker 2: Until then, we're not friends anymore. I'm upset, I'm tired,

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Speaker 2: but mostly I'm done. I hope I made the right decision.

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Speaker 2: I think she like kind of like an energy vampire,

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Speaker 2: Like she wants to like suck all the energy out

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Speaker 2: of you and then be like, Okay, I'm good, Now

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna go. It's like wait a white.

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Speaker 6: As soon as she would get whatever she wants out

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Speaker 6: of here, it's back to disappear mode.

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Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to

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Speaker 5: the next one.

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Speaker 6: A friend demanded that I dye my hair for her wedding,

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Speaker 6: but I.

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Speaker 4: Refused my hair my rols.

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Speaker 6: So I twenty two female have known my friend, who

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Speaker 6: I would refer to as Ella, twenty five female since

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Speaker 6: I was a child, as she is the daughter of

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Speaker 6: family friends, but we've only really become close in the

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Speaker 6: past two to three years.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from user bride hair Throwaway.

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Speaker 6: If you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 6: the r slash show Kase storytime Subburnate.

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Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, I'm.

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Speaker 6: Savannah, and we are going to read this story and

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Speaker 6: give O advice on it. And it might be a

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Speaker 6: little goofy because we are goofballs.

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Speaker 3: You tell us what you would do down in the comments.

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Speaker 3: Maybe you're smarter than us.

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Speaker 6: She recently became engaged and I readily accepted her offer

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Speaker 6: to be part of her bridal party. Yesterday morning, I

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Speaker 6: received an email from Ella. It seemed pretty standard, but

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Speaker 6: then when she got into the look she wants for

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Speaker 6: her bride's maids, she wrote, Hey, Opie, you'll need to

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Speaker 6: dye your hair hair for the day. I'll take you

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Speaker 6: to my hairdresser and cover the cost.

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Speaker 2: This had never.

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Speaker 3: Been mentioned to me.

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Speaker 6: I am a natural ginga, so it's not like I

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Speaker 6: have an outrageous hair color. Although Ella and her other

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Speaker 6: bridesmaids are all brunettes. I texted Ella about it She

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Speaker 6: told me my hair would clash with the wedding colors

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Speaker 6: and that brides get a veto over pretty much every

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Speaker 6: aspect of her bridesmaid's appearances. She also mentioned my hair

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Speaker 6: is quite attention grabbing and i'd take away from the

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Speaker 6: cohesiveness of the group. I told her I wasn't comfortable

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Speaker 6: dyeing my hair. She said she'd get back to me,

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Speaker 6: but hoped i'd reconsider am I being reasonable here. I've

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Speaker 6: never been involved in a wedding before, so I'm not

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Speaker 6: quite sure what's expected of me. I've gotten some messages

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Speaker 6: from the other bridesmaids who are telling me I should

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Speaker 6: just do it, and there.

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Speaker 4: Is an update.

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Speaker 6: To be honest, I don't really think anyone is being

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Speaker 6: super unreasonable here.

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Speaker 3: Especially the way that they're going about it.

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Speaker 6: Like it'd be different if she was like, you need

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Speaker 6: to like cut all your hair off or you need

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Speaker 6: to die. It's like she offered to have it and

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Speaker 6: she would cover it, but you're just like not down

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Speaker 6: to do it.

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Speaker 2: So I mean, she probably doesn't want to mess with

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Speaker 2: like her hair because it is like a lot when

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Speaker 2: you dye your hair, it like it's hard to get

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Speaker 2: it back, like to normal. Yeah, like eventually it will

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Speaker 2: be normal, but like that it ruins your hair for

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Speaker 2: a while.

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Speaker 6: However long your hair is, it's gonna have to grow

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Speaker 6: for that long until your natural color is back.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And also like it's not like she's gonna keep up

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Speaker 2: with it, like your roots are gonna come in and whatnot,

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Speaker 2: and then you're gonna be like, oh, and also that's

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Speaker 2: not the color that I want. Sorry that you don't

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Speaker 2: agree with my natural hair color, but I'm not going

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Speaker 2: to dyet.

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Speaker 6: Ll Yeah, long story short, I am not going to

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Speaker 6: be involved in Ella's wedding in any way. I didn't

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Speaker 6: hear anything from Ella regarding the hair color, so I

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Speaker 6: spoke to my parents, who in turn spoke to Ella's parents,

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Speaker 6: all in their fifties, who then must have spoken to

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Speaker 6: Ella's older brother, twenty seven male, who I will call Charles,

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Speaker 6: who I've also grown close to over the past few years.

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Speaker 4: A little bit of background.

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Speaker 6: Ella has been with her fiance Pete twenty seven ish

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Speaker 6: since she was fifteen. He was and I assume still

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Speaker 6: is a friend of Charles, which is how Ella and

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Speaker 6: Pete met. Charles called me and informed me that Pete

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Speaker 6: has a red head. Infatuation, and there it is ah.

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Speaker 3: And there the nugget of truth is revealed.

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Speaker 2: So you're threatened that he's gonna go after your friend.

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Speaker 3: I don't even think it's that.

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Speaker 6: It's probably just threatened that he's gonna be like, Ooh,

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Speaker 6: she's hot in than my wife. It's something they always

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Speaker 6: joked about in their teens, although that joking stop when

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Speaker 6: Pete began dating his younger sister. Ella actually dyed her

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Speaker 6: hair red, something I sort of remember for several years

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Speaker 6: in her teens, but it's basically become too damaged and

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Speaker 6: costly to continue doing, and she returned to.

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Speaker 4: Her natural hair color.

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Speaker 6: Charles would bet this is why she's requesting I dye

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Speaker 6: my hair. This all kind of made sense. I've met

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Speaker 6: Pete a couple times, and Ella always seemed to be

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Speaker 6: in a rush to leave the conversation and move on.

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Speaker 6: You also stared a lot. Why was I even asked

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Speaker 6: to be a bridesmaid? Her parents strongly encouraged it and

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Speaker 6: are footing the entire bill. I generally am fairly quiet

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Speaker 6: and accommodating, so I guess she figured I'd just go

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Speaker 6: with it. I emailed Ella to tell her I'm no

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Speaker 6: longer able to be a bridesmaid. I haven't heard anything back,

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Speaker 6: although I know she's seen the message. I'll probably not

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Speaker 6: be going to the wedding at all. The whole situation

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Speaker 6: is just too weird and uncomfortable. I'm assuming there's no

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Speaker 6: coming back from this, and that is the end of

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Speaker 6: that story.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, just seems like she's very insecure. My cousin's like

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Speaker 2: that she dyed her hair blonde because her boyfriend was like,

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Speaker 2: oh yeah, I love blondes, blah blah blah, and so

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Speaker 2: she was like a dirty blonde. But and then she

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Speaker 2: like really died a blonde because she was always really insecure.

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Speaker 2: She's like, he's looking at other girls.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, that's such a strange energy to have in a relationship.

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Speaker 6: It's like, just don't even why would you be with

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Speaker 6: that person if that's your constant worry.

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Speaker 4: But that's the end of that. We've got another story

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Speaker 4: coming right up.

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Speaker 2: My friend's joked about needing me because of my credit card.

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Speaker 3: So I goes to talk about a transactional friendship.

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Speaker 2: My friend group started planning a beach trip a few

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Speaker 2: months ago, four of us long weekend. Nothing crazy, but

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Speaker 2: something to look forward to. I said, I was in

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Speaker 2: because I genuinely wanted to go by the way. This

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Speaker 2: comes from soft Opposite eighty four h two. And if

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Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 2: r slash owcase Storytime separated it. I'm Savannah, I'm Dakota,

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Speaker 2: and we are here to give some good advice in

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Speaker 2: the little goofy way. But we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 2: We only tell you what we would do, but you

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Speaker 2: should let us know what you would do down in

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Speaker 2: the comments. As the planning went on, I started noticing

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Speaker 2: a pattern. Every logistical question somehow landed on me. Who

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Speaker 2: is driving? You have the biggest car, who was booking

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Speaker 2: the house? You have the car with the best rewards?

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Speaker 2: Who is handling the grocery run on the way down?

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Speaker 2: You are the most organized about that kind of thing.

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Speaker 2: I did not clock it at first because I genuinely

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Speaker 2: do not mind organizing things. But then the money stuff

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Speaker 2: started getting fuzzy. I asked twice about how we were

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Speaker 2: splitting costs. Both times I got, yeah, we will sort

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Speaker 2: it out, don't stress about it. One person says something

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Speaker 2: about how since I was driving, I was contributing differently,

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Speaker 2: so it kind of balanced out. I still do not

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Speaker 2: fully understand that logic. Then one night we were all

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Speaker 2: together and someone made a comment about how it was

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Speaker 2: good I was coming because they could not have pulled

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Speaker 2: this off without my card. Everyone laughed. I laughed too,

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Speaker 2: But I thought about it on the drive home and

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Speaker 2: that comment was not really a joke. I dropped out

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Speaker 2: the following week told them something came up. Two people

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Speaker 2: were genuinely disappointed. One person's first response was asking how

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Speaker 2: they would sort the car situation. Now, I'm gonna say

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Speaker 2: that they are using you.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, most of them. At least two people were upset.

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Speaker 6: You just wouldn't be there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would be upset because I don't care about money.

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Speaker 2: Not that I don't, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 6: But they're using you for your big car and your

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Speaker 6: big credit limit. That needs to be secondary to just

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Speaker 6: being your friend.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're not really friends. It's truly is transactional. That

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Speaker 2: response told me everything. I have not told them the

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Speaker 2: real reason. I am not sure I will am I

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Speaker 2: wrong for leaving without explaining why. No, I don't think

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Speaker 2: it's not at all.

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Speaker 4: You can do what you want.

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Speaker 3: I mean, even if you explained it, they would probably

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Speaker 3: be like, na.

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Speaker 2: Uh yeah, I have a feeling they're not here, just

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Speaker 2: gonna be like, oh, yeah, you got us, you caught us. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: they're definitely gonna be like, no, what do you mean,

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Speaker 2: blah blah blah, and then make you second guess yourself.

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Speaker 6: So they're gonna go, what do you mean American Express Platinum,

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Speaker 6: we love you.

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Speaker 4: No, please, I'm not my bank. No, Chevy Tahoe, we

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Speaker 4: love you. No, I'm not my car.

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Speaker 2: But that is actually the end of that story, and

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Speaker 2: we got another one coming right up.

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Speaker 6: I read my best friend's diary and found out she

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Speaker 6: doesn't like me.

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Speaker 2: Ooh, you're kicked out of the friend group.

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Speaker 4: Hello everyone.

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Speaker 6: I twenty seven female, met a girl let's call her Zoe,

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Speaker 6: twenty eight female, four years ago when we both started

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Speaker 6: an internship at the same company.

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Speaker 3: We clicked instantly.

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Speaker 6: Within three months, I had met her friends, her family,

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Speaker 6: her boyfriend, and we even went on a weekend trip

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Speaker 6: to my hometown. I had just moved to this city,

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Speaker 6: and she quickly became my anchor. At some point I

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Speaker 6: wondered if I was falling for her. She told me

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Speaker 6: she was wondering the same. We flirted a bit and

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Speaker 6: kissed a few times, and she was in an open relationship.

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Speaker 6: Eventually we agreed it was better to stay friend. The

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Speaker 6: friendship actually got stronger after that. Around the same time,

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Speaker 6: I met William, thirty five, male who worked with us.

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Speaker 6: I fell deeply in love with him. He, however, turned

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Speaker 6: out to be quite manipulative and toxic. He cheated, lied,

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Speaker 6: and ghosted me for months, then called me at three

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Speaker 6: am crying that I was the love of his life.

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Speaker 4: You get the picture.

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Speaker 6: And by the way, this story comes from a Lanky

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Speaker 6: Breakfast five nine ninety nine. If you want to submit

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00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,960
Speaker 6: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 3: I'm Dakota coom Savannah, and we are here to give.

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Speaker 6: Good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers,

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Speaker 6: so let us know what you would do, because we

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00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,680
Speaker 6: only know what we would do. Zoe and I eventually

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Speaker 6: became roommates two years after we met. I stayed in

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Speaker 6: this unhealthy relationship with William, which ultimately pushed me into depression.

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Speaker 3: The first six months living with Zoe I was a mess.

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Speaker 6: I cried constantly, barely eight, went out too much, drank.

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Speaker 3: I honestly don't know how she managed to.

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Speaker 6: Deal with me during that period. I eventually got help,

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Speaker 6: started medication, and slowly got better. But something had changed.

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Speaker 6: Zoe became distant, cold, and irritated. She would sigh, roll

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Speaker 6: her eyes and avoid me. She made plans behind my

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Speaker 6: back with our mutual friends, even though I had told

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Speaker 6: her many times that I understood if she needed space

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Speaker 6: and that she just had to say it. I kept

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Speaker 6: asking if something was wrong, and she would repeat the

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Speaker 6: same thing. Your depression was hard on me, But it's

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Speaker 6: better now. I feel like I'm getting my sister back.

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00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,440
Speaker 6: Except it wasn't better. I couldn't shake the feeling that

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Speaker 6: she couldn't stand me. One weekend, she went to Spain

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Speaker 6: with friends and I stayed alone at home. I spiraled again.

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Speaker 6: I had only been on antidepressants for about two months,

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Speaker 6: and I don't think I was fully stable. Yet I

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Speaker 6: couldn't take it anymore. I needed answers. I needed to

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Speaker 6: understand what I was doing wrong so that I could stop.

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Speaker 6: After hours of crying in my room, I went into

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Speaker 6: hers and read her diary. Not good, not good at all.

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Speaker 6: I know I am definitely the a hole for that,

378
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Speaker 6: and I have never forgiven myself for it, But by

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Speaker 6: reading her diary, I realized that the problem was much bigger.

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Speaker 6: She didn't hate specific things I did. She hated me

381
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Speaker 6: as a person. You called me a failure and a loser.

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Speaker 6: You wrote that she was embarrassed to introduce me to

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Speaker 6: her new boyfriend, that living with me was a mistake,

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Speaker 6: that I couldn't succeed it anything in life, and then

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Speaker 6: I was unable to do anything fully. The worst part

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Speaker 6: was that she used all of the intimate things I

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Speaker 6: had shared with her against me.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: So that's somebody with deep, complex insecurity issues of their own,

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Speaker 6: and I highly doubt that those feelings actually have anything

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Speaker 6: to do with you.

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I mean, when people get in like a depressive episode,

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Speaker 2: it is a lot and it does take a toll

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Speaker 2: on the person that is trying to help them out.

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Speaker 6: That is true. That can be the case. Like, yeah,

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Speaker 6: depression is heard on people around it. But do you

398
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Speaker 6: go and journal about how much you hate that person

399
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Speaker 6: and everything that they do sucks and they will fail

400
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:51,680
Speaker 6: at everything forever?

401
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Speaker 2: Yeah? No, I don't do that like that.

402
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Speaker 3: That's the part that's like, ah, something else is going

403
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Speaker 3: on there.

404
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Speaker 6: I grew up in a fairly unstable household with an

405
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,800
Speaker 6: awful father, and Zoe was one of the first people

406
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Speaker 6: I was able to talk to about it. I was

407
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,320
Speaker 6: in shock. I didn't know what to do, and she

408
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,639
Speaker 6: came back from Spain. I didn't know how to behave

409
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Speaker 6: around her. I kept my distance, not daring to approach her.

410
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,240
Speaker 6: She ended up coming to see me in tears, asking

411
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Speaker 6: me what was wrong and why I was being so distant.

412
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,320
Speaker 6: I couldn't bring myself to confess. I just tried to

413
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:22,520
Speaker 6: talk about the tension I felt between us. I told

414
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,320
Speaker 6: her that I was feeling better and stronger, and that

415
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,360
Speaker 6: I was ready to hear everything she had to say,

416
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,720
Speaker 6: even the hardest things. She said again that everything was

417
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Speaker 6: fine now and that I was like a sister. What

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00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,439
Speaker 6: followed was a year of complete dissociation. Even today, my

419
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,520
Speaker 6: memories from that time are still quite blurred. He continued

420
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,399
Speaker 6: to be friends, to live together, and to do things together,

421
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,000
Speaker 6: but I started to make my own friends and slowly

422
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:47,280
Speaker 6: distance myself. For a year, things stayed that way, with

423
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,280
Speaker 6: us pretending. I even invited her to spend the summer

424
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Speaker 6: vacation in my hometown, in my childhood home, and she

425
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,600
Speaker 6: came during that whole time I kept reading her diary.

426
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Speaker 6: I just couldn't stop doing it. There was never a

427
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 6: single kind of way, and almost every entry was about me.

428
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,480
Speaker 6: She mocked the way I dressed my growing political involvement

429
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,160
Speaker 6: and the fact that I started going to protests that year.

430
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,560
Speaker 4: She mocked my new hobbies and new friends.

431
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,399
Speaker 3: She wrote that she pitied me.

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Speaker 6: After a year of this, and following another silent treatment,

433
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,439
Speaker 6: I confronted her. I didn't admit the diary part. I

434
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,800
Speaker 6: told her I had heard things she had been saying

435
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,520
Speaker 6: about me. I proceeded to list the things I had read.

436
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 6: She seemed quite shocked and asked me to give her

437
00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:30,639
Speaker 6: a few days to process everything. Few days later, we

438
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,080
Speaker 6: talked again, and I was faced with a completely different person.

439
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,760
Speaker 3: She was pure anger.

440
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,240
Speaker 6: She told me she hated me because I had almost

441
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:40,720
Speaker 6: succeeded in making her believe that she was a bad person.

442
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,200
Speaker 6: She said she had never thought, let alone said anything

443
00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:47,000
Speaker 6: bad about me. She told me I was a hypocrite,

444
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,000
Speaker 6: that I had been pretending to be her friend for

445
00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:52,520
Speaker 6: months while believing all those lies about her. Yeah, it

446
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,440
Speaker 6: looks like the complex is starting to rear its ugly

447
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:59,200
Speaker 6: head now that she's been confronted, Oh maybe the definition

448
00:18:59,280 --> 00:18:59,880
Speaker 6: of insane.

449
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 2: I was gonna say she's crazy.

450
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:03,240
Speaker 5: Oh no.

451
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,640
Speaker 6: Meanwhile, she said she considered me her sister. She concluded

452
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,359
Speaker 6: by saying she wasn't sure she was ready to forgive me.

453
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,160
Speaker 6: She said that there was no guarantee that I wouldn't

454
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,560
Speaker 6: make the same false accusations again in a few months.

455
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:17,560
Speaker 4: Honestly, Like, I.

456
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,680
Speaker 6: Don't know if i'd be able to help myself from

457
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,240
Speaker 6: being like, well, I've read.

458
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,200
Speaker 3: Your diary, so I know everything that you've just said

459
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:23,680
Speaker 3: is a lie.

460
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean i'd be like, okay, So then like

461
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,480
Speaker 2: I would have to confront her in some way.

462
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:31,119
Speaker 6: I might have to wait until like this, I think genuinely,

463
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,359
Speaker 6: she's so unhinged that like you might put yourself in

464
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:37,639
Speaker 6: danger if you confront her like that. Yeah, so I

465
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,200
Speaker 6: think you might have to like kind of extract yourself

466
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:43,040
Speaker 6: from the living situation and then down the line be

467
00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:45,080
Speaker 6: like hey, so you'll probably never get to answer because

468
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,640
Speaker 6: you'll probably just block you. But you'd be like, hey,

469
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,960
Speaker 6: so I've read your diary. All that was a lie, right,

470
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,159
Speaker 6: Everything you told me was a lie. I've seen what

471
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,159
Speaker 6: you've written about me, So what do you have to

472
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:56,359
Speaker 6: say about that. According to her, everything was in my head.

473
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 6: That sentence broke something in me. I packed my things

474
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 6: that night and moved out a few days later. We

475
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 6: only saw each other again when I returned the apartment keys,

476
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,879
Speaker 6: and never told her about the diary. I deeply believe

477
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 6: that she would have ignored the issue and focused only

478
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,920
Speaker 6: on the fact that I had intruded on her privacy.

479
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,680
Speaker 6: As I was leaving the apartment for good, I went

480
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,200
Speaker 6: into her room and read her diary one last time.

481
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,280
Speaker 4: What is wrong with you? Just one more?

482
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 6: I will never forget these sentences quote. I spend my

483
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 6: time wondering where she is, what she's doing, and with

484
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,920
Speaker 6: whom I hope she spends her life suffering. It's been

485
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 6: a year now, I'm still processing it.

486
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 2: I truly believe that she thought that you were the

487
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,879
Speaker 2: one for her, and when you went and were with

488
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 2: someone else and all this happened, she was fed up

489
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,800
Speaker 2: because she's like, well, you should have just been with me.

490
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:44,200
Speaker 4: Got to be it right.

491
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 2: The thing is, she never mentioned that unless op isn't

492
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 2: talking about it. She never mentioned that in her journal

493
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,400
Speaker 2: or anything. She's just saying all these.

494
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 6: Horrible things, horrifically I mean, what other kind of thing

495
00:20:55,440 --> 00:21:01,600
Speaker 6: can spawn that kind of emotional intensity in somebody like yeah, to.

496
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:05,160
Speaker 2: Be like, I hate this person with a passion because

497
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 2: because I like them and they're not with me.

498
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,399
Speaker 6: Yeah, I constantly wonder what she's doing and who she's

499
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,440
Speaker 6: with and where she is.

500
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,000
Speaker 3: And I hope she's suffering.

501
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,720
Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to

502
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 5: the next one.

503
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 2: My friend won't stop talking about her ex and I'm

504
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:20,640
Speaker 2: done listening.

505
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 3: Boring honks, you talk about something else.

506
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,920
Speaker 2: So I female twenty seven, have this friend, female twenty nine.

507
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 2: Now we're gonna call Amanda. So, Amanda and I have

508
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 2: been friends for almost ten years. We've been great friends

509
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,880
Speaker 2: and everything was fun until around two years ago when

510
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 2: things got bad for her. By the way, this comes

511
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 2: from an average VIC And if you want to submit

512
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:42,920
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story

513
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 2: time subredd it. I'm Savannah, I'm Dakota, and we're here

514
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:47,720
Speaker 2: to get some good advice. Goofully. But we don't have

515
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,439
Speaker 2: all the answers. You only tell you what we would do,

516
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,400
Speaker 2: but let us know what you would do in the comments.

517
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,400
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna give a little bit of context about Amanda.

518
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 2: Manda has been with the same guy since middle school,

519
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,320
Speaker 2: on and off. They finally had their chance on their

520
00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:03,119
Speaker 2: first adult relationship a couple of years ago, but unfortunately,

521
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,080
Speaker 2: it was a very bad relationship. I heard all about it.

522
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,439
Speaker 2: I heard every story about the guy. He was a

523
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,240
Speaker 2: terrible boyfriend to her. With every story. I told her

524
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,480
Speaker 2: to break up with him, and she didn't. They had

525
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,959
Speaker 2: trips and calls, and every time she ended up crying

526
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,119
Speaker 2: and having the worst time. She told me she didn't

527
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 2: want to break up with him because of how long

528
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,439
Speaker 2: they've been together at that point, and she thought that

529
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 2: nobody else would want to be with her if she did. Finally,

530
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 2: around two years ago, she broke up with him. At

531
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 2: the beginning, she was okay, but then she was told

532
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,160
Speaker 2: by one of her mutuals that he moved on very quickly,

533
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,000
Speaker 2: and this devastated her. She begged him to take her back,

534
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,480
Speaker 2: and he didn't. He was already in a committed relationship

535
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,680
Speaker 2: with someone else. Of course, this broke Amanda. She cried

536
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 2: for weeks months, and I was there. She literally cried

537
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,640
Speaker 2: on my shoulder for all this time. We made events

538
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,720
Speaker 2: and hung out and traveled together. She started seeing not one,

539
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,919
Speaker 2: but two psychologists. After a while, I told her that

540
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:56,200
Speaker 2: I wasn't seeing any improvement. She kept crying over him,

541
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 2: she kept talking about him. At this point, six months

542
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,360
Speaker 2: had already passed and she was the same person as

543
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 2: day one. She then finally started to see a psychiatrist

544
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 2: about six months ago, which was around the year mark

545
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,200
Speaker 2: of her breakup, which I'm very happy for her. I've

546
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,359
Speaker 2: been seeing some improvement, but not as much as I

547
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:14,600
Speaker 2: would like her to be. Almost two years after her breakup.

548
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,639
Speaker 2: A couple months ago, she met another guy and she

549
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 2: started to have a crush on him. To be fair,

550
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,639
Speaker 2: Amanda is shy around man and doesn't know how to

551
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 2: deal with crushes. As her ex was the only man

552
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,639
Speaker 2: she'd been with since middle school, so she was a

553
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 2: little bit intense with him and he backed away. They

554
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 2: are still friends now, which I personally don't like, as

555
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 2: she still has a crush on him. They talk every

556
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 2: day and he has a girlfriend. Now this is important

557
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 2: because now Amanda doesn't know why this guy didn't pick her.

558
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,639
Speaker 2: This happened four months ago and she still gets a

559
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 2: little sad thinking about this and is a recurring conversation

560
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 2: as well as her ex and her ex's girlfriend. At

561
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 2: the beginning, I wasn't very direct with the things I

562
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,200
Speaker 2: said to her. I sugarcoated a lot of things. But

563
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:56,639
Speaker 2: now after almost two years, I am fed up. I

564
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 2: stopped being kind and sweet and being more direct and

565
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,640
Speaker 2: to be honest, a little bit aggressive with my words.

566
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 2: And now I have been feeling that she is using

567
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,439
Speaker 2: me as her therapist. She tells me things she is

568
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 2: doing or not doing, and I'll ask her if she

569
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 2: has told her psychiatrist, and she says no. She will

570
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,360
Speaker 2: go and see her psychiatrist on a session, and then

571
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 2: I'll ask her if she told them about such and such,

572
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 2: and she'd say no, and then I would hear about

573
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 2: it again once we saw each other for coffee next week.

574
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 2: One time I told her I wanted to meet her psychiatrists.

575
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 2: So we had a session the three of us. I

576
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 2: had a list of things that she told me and

577
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 2: didn't tell him the psychiatrist. I told him she needed

578
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,120
Speaker 2: to work on these things she kept bringing back from

579
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 2: day one, almost two years in. Then the psychiatrist told

580
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 2: me that I also have to set limits with her,

581
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 2: which is what I did after that day, which is

582
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,199
Speaker 2: where I might be the a hole. I have been

583
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 2: limiting the time that we talk about her triggers. At

584
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,119
Speaker 2: the beginning, we had ten minutes, then five minutes, then

585
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,400
Speaker 2: thirty seconds. Now today she cannot talk about them at all.

586
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 2: Turns out we ran out of things to say after

587
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,439
Speaker 2: updating each other on the past week's events. After that,

588
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 2: it's basically her preventing to talk about her past or

589
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 2: She will start with can I just say very quickly,

590
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 2: and then I'd shut her down. Here is why I

591
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 2: cannot tell her the stuff that I am going through.

592
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:11,479
Speaker 2: I had my partner and my relationship last year. I

593
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 2: was devastated. Naturally, I told Amanda, and after a week

594
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 2: of me crying and venting, she would compare it to

595
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,680
Speaker 2: her relationship that she broke up a year ago at

596
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 2: that time. So after two weeks of my breakup, I

597
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,479
Speaker 2: decided to vent to other girlfriends on this, as they

598
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 2: didn't compare it to their current or past relations Another

599
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,399
Speaker 2: thing is that I have a messy family and they

600
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 2: are kind of a holes to my life choices. I

601
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:35,159
Speaker 2: am an openly tatted sapphic with a cat and no

602
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 2: desires for kids. Naturally, I developed a pretty thick skin

603
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 2: and religiously attend my therapy sessions. So that being said,

604
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 2: I tell her things that my family does or say

605
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,159
Speaker 2: to me as gossip or chitchat. I make jokes and

606
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,920
Speaker 2: move on. But the last time I told her about

607
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,439
Speaker 2: some things my family said, she later told me she

608
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 2: cried and cried for me, and that worried me. This

609
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 2: is not the first time she hears stories that are

610
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 2: not hers and cries over them and unknown people in

611
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 2: the stories. These take a toll on her. She said

612
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 2: she didn't work for an entire day due to her

613
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,159
Speaker 2: crying over a coworker story about someone else. So I

614
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,440
Speaker 2: stopped telling her my story so she doesn't cry over

615
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 2: them and she can focus on her recovery. We don't

616
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 2: do new stuff. We don't talk about our dreams or

617
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 2: what we want to do in the next years to come.

618
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,160
Speaker 2: And if we do, it's only about and how much

619
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 2: she wants to do this and that, but she can't

620
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 2: because she's still recovering. That's where we go back at

621
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 2: the beginning again. I've re established a new boundary, which

622
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 2: is I won't see her more than twice a week,

623
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 2: and conversations cannot include those topics. Again, I told another

624
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 2: friend female twenty eight that we will name Veronica about

625
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 2: this and my new limits and boundaries I have with Amanda,

626
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,879
Speaker 2: and Veronica told me this is what being a friend is. No,

627
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:46,199
Speaker 2: not really, though, if you have to, like this is

628
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 2: hard because you don't you care for your friend. You

629
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 2: don't want them to be going through a rough time

630
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 2: and you want to be able to support them. But

631
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,679
Speaker 2: it's taking a toll on you now to where it's like,

632
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 2: I don't know if I could be friends with you

633
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 2: because I feel miserable after hanging out with her.

634
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 6: I take it I think your friend is also off

635
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 6: base and that this is what friends are. And it's like,

636
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 6: I feel like what you're doing is probably the healthiest

637
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 6: thing for her, Yeah, which is like, no, I'm not

638
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,960
Speaker 6: actually just gonna make every single time we hang out,

639
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:19,200
Speaker 6: you staying stuck in the same loop of thoughts about

640
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 6: whatever happened to you and the things that you've gone

641
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,920
Speaker 6: through and how you can't overcome them and how you're

642
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 6: stuck and broken. It's all we talk about. And I'm

643
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,879
Speaker 6: done talking about it with you and we're moving forward.

644
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 2: I mean, it is hard for her to hear, and

645
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:35,080
Speaker 2: you don't want that to like trigger something else in her.

646
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 2: But that's also like you're not responsible for what she does.

647
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 2: You're not responsible for her actions, how she feels, how

648
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 2: she thinks. You know, you can only be responsible for

649
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 2: what you do. And so you know, if you're going

650
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,200
Speaker 2: to say all of that stuff, then you also have

651
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 2: to realize that she is probably not going to take

652
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 2: it in the best way. Yeah, but that's also not

653
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 2: your problem, Like she maybe she needs to hear it.

654
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, she probably does, I think, And I'm not a

655
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 6: mental health professional in any capacity, but i think just

656
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 6: from like looking at where we're at today versus like

657
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 6: where we were before, where it was like mental health

658
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 6: was this huge stigmatized thing and you were ostracized from

659
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 6: society for it, versus now where today you have all

660
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 6: these people who are like living within the confines of

661
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 6: their victimhood and there's nothing else outside of that they

662
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,439
Speaker 6: can do until this boogeyman that they have is slain,

663
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:26,640
Speaker 6: which never happens.

664
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like there needs to.

665
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 6: Be somewhere in the middle where it's like we want

666
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:33,440
Speaker 6: to accept people's mental health struggles, but we don't want

667
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 6: to accept it to a point where it's like yeah,

668
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 6: and then you just get to be that and have

669
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 6: that forever where it's like a safe place to be

670
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 6: because now, oh, now I have this, I have an

671
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 6: excuse to never grow and change, versus where before it

672
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 6: was like, oh you're sad, well, why don't you just

673
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,760
Speaker 6: get over it? Like neither of those really seem to

674
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 6: be accomplishing what we want. Yeah, we got to find

675
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 6: something in between there. Yeah, and I feel like Op's

676
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 6: doing a good job.

677
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, Pee, I think that's trying to help in any

678
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 2: way possible, and sometimes you do have to be a

679
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 2: little bit more aggressive with it. And I don't think

680
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 2: that what you're doing is I don't think that you're

681
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 2: being a bad friend for trying to help your friend out.

682
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 2: I think like you need to find what works for

683
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 2: you and then what also works for her. But also, again,

684
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 2: you are not responsible for her. I know that she's

685
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 2: your friend and you care for her, you want to

686
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 2: see her happy and all this stuff. But at this point,

687
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 2: it doesn't seem like it's friendship. It seems like it's

688
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 2: more taking a toll on you. And it's like, okay,

689
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 2: so now let me be the therapist again today and

690
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 2: be like, no, it kept that we.

691
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 6: Can't was your friendship dynamic. Was just talking about the traumas.

692
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 2: Veronica and Amanda know each other, but not as long

693
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 2: as I have known Amanda. We have traveled the three

694
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 2: of us, but Veronica is just getting to listen to

695
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 2: these stories for the first time. So I think she

696
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 2: is saying this because she doesn't get to live this firsthand. Also,

697
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 2: Veronica lives farther than Amanda and I. We live five

698
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 2: minutes away from each other, so all three of us

699
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 2: don't get to be together all the time. But Veronica

700
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 2: did tell me I needed to be there and cannot

701
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 2: let her go in this time of need. So this

702
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 2: is the story. Let me know if I am in

703
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 2: fact the a hole or if you would do this too,

704
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 2: I would also be doing this in this situation. Yeah,

705
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 2: you can't, Like you don't want to abandon your friend.

706
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 2: You don't want them to you know, blame you for stuff,

707
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 2: Like you want to be there, but at a specific point,

708
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 2: you can only take so much. It's like, when are

709
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 2: you gonna get over it? When are you gonna do something?

710
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 2: Like you can't sit here and cry and complain for

711
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 2: years and years and be like nothing's changing, nothing's working. Well, yeah,

712
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 2: you're just doing the same thing. You haven't changed anything.

713
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 2: Everything's exactly the same. Yeah, you need to pick yourself up,

714
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 2: be like, you know what, I'm gonna do something differently today,

715
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 2: and you have to take that choice. You have to

716
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 2: be able to tell yourself, Okay, I am not going

717
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 2: to feel like this today. Let's make a difference. Let's

718
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 2: freaking change. Let's go through this differently today. Like you know,

719
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 2: you can go to so many therapists and they can

720
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:53,239
Speaker 2: tell you to do this, tell you to do that,

721
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 2: but until you actually do it, nothing's gonna change. You

722
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 2: can sit there and talk your I don't know, talking

723
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 2: to oblivion, but like, nothing's gonna happ unless you actually

724
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 2: do the work. You have to do the work.

725
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 3: Change requires action.

726
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story.

727
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 4: Hey, this is Riley, your favorite Southern bell. We're going

728
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 4: to get back to these stories.

729
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 5: But here's three minutes worth of ads form our sponsors.

730
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 6: My friend invented food restrictions when I cook but ate

731
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 6: regular food. Pick a Lane I thirty two female, have

732
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 6: a friend Dinah thirty eight, female who has a constantly

733
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 6: changing an ever growing list of things she won't eat gluten, dairy,

734
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:34,840
Speaker 6: certain spices, night shades, beans, certain protein isolates, specific thickening agents,

735
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 6: and nuts. When I host a party, if there isn't

736
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 6: anything totally free of all the things on her list

737
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 6: of the week, then she refused to eat it all

738
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 6: and kind of pout a little.

739
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from agitated Twist.

740
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 6: If you want to submit your own stories, go to

741
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 6: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

742
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, I'm.

743
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 6: Sophia, I'm Keon, and we are here to read this

744
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,240
Speaker 6: story and maybe give some good advice a little goof

745
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 6: for you.

746
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 3: But we don't know everything, so that's where you come in.

747
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 6: Tell us all your thoughts and your feelings of opinions

748
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 6: down in the comments. I take pride in my cooking,

749
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 6: and I take pride in being a good host who

750
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 6: takes care of her guests. It upsets me when I

751
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 6: read the labels on everything. Some soy sauces are not

752
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 6: gluten free, some dairy substitutes have guagum, only to have

753
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 6: her announce a new forbidden food that wasn't on the

754
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 6: list before.

755
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 3: But what grinds my gears more.

756
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 6: Is when I do manage to make something she can eat,

757
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 6: only for her to take a small few bites before

758
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 6: sneaking into the kitchen to eat the regular food.

759
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 3: For example, I completely sanitized my whole kitchen before making

760
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 3: her a hypoallergenic pizza, then put it in an air

761
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 3: tight container before making regular pizza for everyone else. When

762
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 3: she arrived, she said thanks. She took one slice of

763
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 3: her special pizza.

764
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 6: One other person asked her if they could try hers,

765
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 6: just to see how different it was, so they also

766
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 6: took a slice. The other six slices remained untouched. Then,

767
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 6: when I got up to use the bathroom during the

768
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 6: big game, I saw Dinah in the kitchen eating the

769
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 6: slice of the regular piece over the sink like a

770
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:03,480
Speaker 6: little shame goblin.

771
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 4: I would not make her any more food. Yeah, at

772
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 4: that point, I'd be like, you don't eat the food

773
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 4: that I make you.

774
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 6: I would have stopped myself before hypoallergenic pizza territory, and

775
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 6: I would have said, Babe, if you've got twenty four allergens,

776
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 6: you gotta bring your own food.

777
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 7: I don't know, I think personally, I do have a

778
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 7: friend with a lot of allergies. I don't mind making,

779
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 7: you know, the extra effort to cook for them.

780
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 4: But if I then saw him eating the regular food.

781
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 4: I'd be like, why did I know? Why did I

782
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 4: do all?

783
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 3: I have a follow up question for you, Sophia.

784
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 4: Yes, are your friend's allergies the same every time? Yes?

785
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 4: They are? Yeah, a big difference. That's no, that's my point.

786
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 2: That's my point.

787
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 4: I don't mind doing it if you have the.

788
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 6: Same analogy to say, Dinah, get in the kitchen, Dinah

789
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 6: and make your own stuff that's I don't know, made

790
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 6: out of air and paper. I didn't say anything because

791
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 6: I didn't want to make a fuss, and also I

792
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 6: had to pee pretty bad when I came back out

793
00:33:56,000 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 6: of the bathroom. She had rejoined the party, no ill effects. Later,

794
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 6: another friend complained of the same thing, spending hours doing

795
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:07,720
Speaker 6: the research, making the special ditch, and then catching Dinah

796
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 6: eating a Girl Scout cookie.

797
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 3: I'm currently making a cake for Dinah's birthday. I used

798
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 3: to be a pastry chef, and it's taken a lot

799
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 3: of skill and effort.

800
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 6: If I see her eating regular food, would it be

801
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,440
Speaker 6: a wiener move for me to ask her why she

802
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 6: does this?

803
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:22,720
Speaker 4: Well, this blew up while I was baking.

804
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:24,840
Speaker 6: I don't think my friend of nearly a decade is

805
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,360
Speaker 6: a drama lama. But I also think it's time I

806
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 6: had an open and honest conversation with her about the

807
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 6: recent food weirdness.

808
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 3: At least the goofy cake turned out well.

809
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,400
Speaker 6: I feel like, I feel like, if she's been your

810
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 6: friend for a decade, this shouldn't be that hard of

811
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 6: a thing, and she'd be like, girl, what are you doing?

812
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,719
Speaker 7: If I like, for like years, someone knows me for

813
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 7: a decade and I for years, I'm saying these are

814
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 7: these are my hourstections, is my allergies or whatever, and

815
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:51,799
Speaker 7: then my friend sees me eating something that is not

816
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,120
Speaker 7: a part or is a part of those allergies. I'm

817
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,360
Speaker 7: eating something that I'm supposed to the allergic to. My

818
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 7: friend is like, WHOA, you're allergic to that?

819
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 4: What are you doing? You're allergic to that?

820
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 6: Update had the hard talk found out there are some

821
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 6: specific physical and mental health things going on. I meant

822
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 6: to put in an actual take in that. That was

823
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 6: my actual takes. Yeah, your friend is going through something mentally.

824
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 7: Yeah, clearly feels like she It feels like some sort

825
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:17,400
Speaker 7: of like eating.

826
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,399
Speaker 8: Disorder kind of things, sham kind of mental shem thing

827
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 8: going on there, and it deserves to be approached with

828
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 8: that empathy and a little bit of curiosityal Right, I

829
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 8: don't think she's doing this on purpose.

830
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 6: It honestly seems like she's been pretty embarrassed about it.

831
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 6: You figured out some good strategies that will work better

832
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,319
Speaker 6: for my cultural need to feed people without making me

833
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 6: want to pull my hair out when she stumbles on

834
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 6: taking care of herself. For instance, I will always have

835
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:41,320
Speaker 6: her favorite fancy mineral.

836
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,239
Speaker 3: Waltzs in my fridge. Is a way to show I'm

837
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 3: thinking of her.

838
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 6: For food centric occasions, she will bring along something that

839
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,919
Speaker 6: she can eat and also text me a few days

840
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:52,320
Speaker 6: ahead of time with her allergists' current working theory about

841
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 6: what is making her sick.

842
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:55,840
Speaker 3: And that is the end of that story.

843
00:35:56,040 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 6: Oh boy, oh boy, ten years of this yeah, like maybe, no,

844
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 6: I don't think ten years. I know because I think

845
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 6: ten years of friendship. Yeah, this is more recent.

846
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,320
Speaker 2: I think the diet Terry's stuff is more recent.

847
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 4: But good on you for having the convo, say shown,

848
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:11,399
Speaker 4: I like it.

849
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 2: I like when you talked.

850
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to

851
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:16,280
Speaker 5: the next one.

852
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 7: My best friend demanded to change the color of my

853
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,479
Speaker 7: hair because of her wedding huh. For context, my best

854
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 7: friend twenty three female and I have been inseparable for years.

855
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:28,719
Speaker 7: When our boyfriend now fiance proposed, she asked me to

856
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,759
Speaker 7: be her man of honor. Of course I said yes immediately.

857
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 7: I've been helping her plan this wedding for the past

858
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 7: year and a half alongside her mom, and I've already

859
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:40,320
Speaker 7: spent over six hundred dollars to be part of everything.

860
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,880
Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from Relative Platform nine four

861
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 7: sixty three, and if you want to submit your own story,

862
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 7: it's gonna be our slush okay, story time, separate it.

863
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we're here to give.

864
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 2: Good of us goofy. But we don't have all the answers.

865
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 2: We only know what we do, So let us know

866
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 2: what you would do in the comment.

867
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:56,480
Speaker 4: Now here's the important parts.

868
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 7: I have bright blue hair I've had over the last

869
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 7: three years, and I've been doing vivid fashion colors for

870
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 7: over a decade. From the very beginning of wedding planning,

871
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:08,400
Speaker 7: I asked her multiple times if my hair would be

872
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,640
Speaker 7: an issue. Every single time she told me nod be

873
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:15,720
Speaker 7: a problem. Fast forward to two weeks before the wedding,

874
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,279
Speaker 7: she suddenly comes to me and asks if I can

875
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 7: dye my hair back to a natural color for the

876
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 7: wedding after a year and a half of saying it

877
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,880
Speaker 7: was fine, so now I'm stuck. I can die it myself.

878
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:29,240
Speaker 7: But it's not about that. It's still got a cost

879
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:32,760
Speaker 7: around fifty plus tax. Still, it's not a huge amount,

880
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 7: but it's the principle of the thing. She reassured me

881
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 7: over and over that my hair was okay, and now

882
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:40,240
Speaker 7: last minute she's changing her mind. So I'm considering asking

883
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,439
Speaker 7: her to cover half the cost of fixing my hair

884
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 7: about twenty five dollars, since this change is coming entirely

885
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 7: from her and very last minute.

886
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:48,400
Speaker 2: Would that make me the ale?

887
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:51,360
Speaker 7: Or is it fair considering I've already spent six hundred

888
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 7: plus dollars on her wedding and only agreed to everything

889
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,440
Speaker 7: under the assumption my hair wasn't an issue.

890
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:57,759
Speaker 4: Be honest, would I.

891
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:00,080
Speaker 2: Be the ale? And we've got an update? Y.

892
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:02,480
Speaker 6: I think people are allowed to change their mind, and

893
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 6: you're also allowed to not want your hair, but it

894
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 6: doesn't seem like it's that big a deal for you,

895
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 6: and it's just more the principle of the thing, So

896
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 6: I think just ask yeah, I think you should be

897
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,279
Speaker 6: like yeah, I mean it's so last minute, and like,

898
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:16,280
Speaker 6: you know, I don't know, I've already spent like sixtent

899
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:16,839
Speaker 6: hered bucks, Like.

900
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 3: Are you going to pay for the dome? Is it

901
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 3: that important that you'd pay for it?

902
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,200
Speaker 6: Because if it's not so important that you would give

903
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:24,839
Speaker 6: me fifty bucks, I don't really think it's that important then.

904
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:25,920
Speaker 2: So I just got off.

905
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 7: The phone with the bride to be and when I

906
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 7: asked her why she suddenly wants me to change my

907
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 7: hair color and what made or change her mind after

908
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 7: repeatedly telling me it was a non issue, she had

909
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 7: no idea what I was talking about. Well, well, well,

910
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 7: either this is a fifty first stid situation or you've

911
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 7: got a catfish on your hand.

912
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 2: She sounded genuinely confused.

913
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 4: I told her, Hey.

914
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 7: You texted me this morning asking me to change my

915
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,439
Speaker 7: hair color, and she said she never did such a thing. Well,

916
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 7: lo and behold, it turns out her mother took her

917
00:38:56,520 --> 00:39:00,320
Speaker 7: phone and messaged me, pretending to be the bride Leslie.

918
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,640
Speaker 7: I'm not terribly shocked. Her mom has made plenty of

919
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,439
Speaker 7: comments about the wedding party before, for example, she said

920
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 7: one of the bride'smaids should remove her nose ring, even

921
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:11,319
Speaker 7: though it has cultural significance, and that another should either

922
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:15,360
Speaker 7: not wear or somehow hide her insulin pump under her dress.

923
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,800
Speaker 7: She's also made repeated comments about me being a man

924
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 7: instead of a woman and how unconventional.

925
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 2: It is for me to be the maid of honor.

926
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 7: Anyway, my best friend made it very clear that under

927
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 7: no circumstances does she want me to change my hair

928
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,080
Speaker 7: color this close to the wedding. She said it would

929
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 7: be completely ridiculous. Ask so I'm going to the wedding

930
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 7: with my blue head despite her mother's wishes. I'm still

931
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 7: a man of honor, and I can't wait to stand

932
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 7: beside her on one of the most.

933
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 2: Important days of her life.

934
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:44,319
Speaker 7: Now, all that's left is finding her something old, something new,

935
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,319
Speaker 7: something borrowed, and I've heard something blue. So have you

936
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 7: suggested that either the bride or myself reach out to

937
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 7: the rest of the wedding party to see if the

938
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 7: mom had pulled anything similar with them, And yeah, she

939
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 7: absolutely knit. She contacted three of the bridesmaids and one

940
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:01,000
Speaker 7: of the groomsmen. Basically trying the same thing she tried

941
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:01,319
Speaker 7: with me.

942
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 4: Oh, it gets worse though.

943
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 7: She asked one bride'smaid to hide her insulin pump, another

944
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 7: to cover her tattoos, and told the groomsman not to

945
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:09,360
Speaker 7: wear his hearing aids.

946
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 3: What I refuse to see disability.

947
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 7: Dang, We've got a whole disability lineup in this wedding.

948
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 2: It's a very diverse wedding, and your mom sucks.

949
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 9: I can't wait for this woman to be like, I

950
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:22,520
Speaker 9: can't see, I can't hear, I can't do anything, and

951
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 9: everyone's be like, you don't believe in that, right?

952
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:26,280
Speaker 3: So what does she look like? Does she walk around?

953
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:29,399
Speaker 6: She's got like the golden like outline aura around her,

954
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 6: like yeah, like hercules.

955
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 9: At the end of the movie, she's like in an

956
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 9: Ironman suit.

957
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 6: Honestly, would kind of have to agree with her at

958
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 6: that point if she's If anyone's in a full blown

959
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 6: Iron Man suit, I will agree with whatever they say.

960
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 7: At this point, the bride is seriously debating whether she

961
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,719
Speaker 7: even wants her mother at the wedding anymore. We've now

962
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 7: confirmed with everyone in the wedding party that no changes

963
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:51,399
Speaker 7: are actually needed, and we love everyone the way they are,

964
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,759
Speaker 7: and it's pretty clear the mother of the bride is

965
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:56,839
Speaker 7: just on a full blown power trip. Because of all this,

966
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 7: the bride and I are reaching out to the venue

967
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,920
Speaker 7: to arrange security and in case anything goes sideways. We

968
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:04,279
Speaker 7: both agreed it's better to have it and not need

969
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 7: it than need it and not have it. As for

970
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,640
Speaker 7: what happens next, whatever the pride decides about her mom,

971
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 7: I'm one hundred percent backing her. This whole situation has

972
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 7: been wild. Hopefully this is the final update. Thank you

973
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 7: all for the advice and support.

974
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 4: We love that, We love that.

975
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 3: Look what a little communication can do folks so much.

976
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,440
Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to

977
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:25,120
Speaker 5: the next one.

978
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:28,680
Speaker 6: My best friend told me to convert to his religion

979
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:30,839
Speaker 6: so I can be his kid's godfather.

980
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 2: You'll come to me on the day of my son's communion.

981
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 3: So I thirty one male have a friend named James.

982
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,399
Speaker 6: Thirty two male. I've known James forever. We've been best

983
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 6: friends the whole time we've known each other. Our family

984
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 6: see the other as part of the family.

985
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 4: Blah blah blah blah blah.

986
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from user throw me away

987
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 6: Please ten twenty thirty. If you want tousbmit your own stories,

988
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 6: go to the our slash Okay story time subbured it.

989
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,400
Speaker 4: I'm Dakota, I'm Sovia, I'm key on. We're gonna read

990
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 4: this story. We're gonna have thoughts, We're gonna have opinions.

991
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:56,520
Speaker 4: It might be good, might be bad. I don't know.

992
00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 6: We only know the things that we know. Tell us

993
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 6: what you know down in the comments. Now, now info.

994
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 6: I am an atheist, not the abrasive kind. I just

995
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,080
Speaker 6: don't care. Live it a live, just leave me out

996
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 6: of it. James and I have always been on the

997
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:12,200
Speaker 6: same page when it comes to religion. Well that's changed.

998
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:15,719
Speaker 6: James started dating a girl now married, who is very,

999
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,719
Speaker 6: very religious, like live by the Bible type. It can

1000
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:21,840
Speaker 6: be pretty intense. He has now taken on those same beliefs.

1001
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 6: He is staunchly religious. Now he's turned into a very

1002
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,759
Speaker 6: lame and boring person in my opinion, But that's not

1003
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:32,040
Speaker 6: important right now. Now, I've dealt with Christians constantly telling

1004
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,279
Speaker 6: me I need to look to God or whatever bys

1005
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:36,279
Speaker 6: they try to push. My family does it, my ex

1006
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 6: and her family did. I'm just over it at this point.

1007
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 6: It's annoying and frustrating having that conversation so often. Anyways,

1008
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 6: a few months ago, while James and I are talking,

1009
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 6: we end up at a point where he says, you know,

1010
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,360
Speaker 6: you should consider joining the church. I think it'd be

1011
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:50,720
Speaker 6: good for you. I'm gonna be honest. I got really heated,

1012
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 6: really quick. The James I knew would have known that

1013
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 6: that was just a dumb thing to say, which kind

1014
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 6: of added to the frustration since he knew he shouldn't

1015
00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:58,319
Speaker 6: say it.

1016
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:01,320
Speaker 4: He tried to say, I was just joking. Yeo, okay, bud.

1017
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:03,320
Speaker 6: After that, I told him if he or his wife

1018
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 6: ever tries to convert me, get me to go to church,

1019
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:07,719
Speaker 6: or pushes their beliefs onto me in any manner, then

1020
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 6: I will cut them off immediately.

1021
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna block him and move on, no conversation.

1022
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 3: I gave him his warning.

1023
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 6: Wow, bast Forward to last week and the topic came

1024
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 6: up again. Him and his wife just had their baby.

1025
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:21,280
Speaker 6: He came to me about being the godfather and telling

1026
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:23,479
Speaker 6: me how he really hopes that I'll accept. I told

1027
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:26,839
Speaker 6: him of course. However, he later called me to tell

1028
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,880
Speaker 6: me how there was actually a stipulation to that in

1029
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 6: order for that to happen, I would need to get baptized.

1030
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 6: His wife doesn't want to risk someone who is closer

1031
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,120
Speaker 6: to the devil than God to be raising their kid.

1032
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 6: I hung up without saying anything and just block both

1033
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 6: their numbers, just as I warned them what happen months ago.

1034
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 6: He's now been reaching out through friends to try and apologize.

1035
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,399
Speaker 6: I've told them to relay that he needs to give up.

1036
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 6: I have no interest in being a part of this

1037
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:52,600
Speaker 6: new lifestyle of his, where he decides my boundaries can

1038
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 6: be stomped on in the name of the Lord. Now

1039
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:56,720
Speaker 6: friends are telling me I overreacted a bit and should

1040
00:43:56,719 --> 00:43:58,840
Speaker 6: have had a conversation first before cutting him off. But

1041
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 6: I feel we already had had that conversation months ago.

1042
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 6: He got his warning and willfully ignored it. I just

1043
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,000
Speaker 6: followed through on my end. So am I the a

1044
00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:09,759
Speaker 6: hole for abruptly cutting my best friend off? I've given

1045
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 6: him another chance first.

1046
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 2: I guess it's like, that's not even us question. Do

1047
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 2: you want to give him another chance?

1048
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:17,400
Speaker 6: I would say, yeah, bro, I would have said you

1049
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:19,359
Speaker 6: should have sat down with him and looked him in

1050
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 6: his eyes and said, look, brother, you're a different guy now.

1051
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 3: I get it.

1052
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:26,800
Speaker 6: That thing that you're doing now is never ever gonna

1053
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:29,400
Speaker 6: be my thing. I'm not gonna get baptized forru child.

1054
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 6: I'm not gonna get baptized or anything. If you try

1055
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:34,840
Speaker 6: to do this again, Bro, we can't be friends because

1056
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:38,440
Speaker 6: we're fundamentally incompatible. Now, ed the issue is that the

1057
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:40,680
Speaker 6: religion in and of itself. The issue is ignoring the

1058
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 6: boundaries I've set. Just wanted to add that emphasis.

1059
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 4: Ed it too.

1060
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 6: I have no idea how being a godfather works in

1061
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:47,840
Speaker 6: terms of the literal rules. To me, it's more of

1062
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 6: the concept of if we pass away, you take the kid.

1063
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,440
Speaker 6: And I'm guessing he saw it the same way and

1064
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 6: isn't aware of the rules specifically himself. So obviously, yes,

1065
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:57,879
Speaker 6: by the Bible, I wouldn't have been able to go

1066
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 6: be the godfather religion and read it. Whoa, we have

1067
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 6: an update. Well, he is now staying with me currently.

1068
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 6: He decided to leave his wife.

1069
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 4: Ooh, and there you go, and there you go.

1070
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 7: You set your boundary and he realized, oh, my longtime

1071
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 7: friend just cut me off. Maybe maybe my wife is

1072
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 7: not sober and there you go.

1073
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 4: Oooh, there you go.

1074
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 9: So see what he did? He cut her off. I

1075
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 9: don't know her. He oh, he cut off his friend. Yeah,

1076
00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 9: and it showed his friend the truth of Oh my gosh.

1077
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, No, for sure he needed to do that. I'm

1078
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:34,759
Speaker 4: just glad of you.

1079
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:36,880
Speaker 3: Imagine homies, that's all I care about right now.

1080
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,640
Speaker 9: Imagine that's that's killed being a real friend. Because his

1081
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:42,400
Speaker 9: friend understood the assignment, he went, oh, wow, we've gotten

1082
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 9: to this.

1083
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:45,840
Speaker 4: Whoa Oh my wife she sucks?

1084
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 2: Got it?

1085
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,880
Speaker 6: Yes, So, in a cruel twist of fate, my advice

1086
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:51,840
Speaker 6: would have prevented them from being friends.

1087
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:52,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, shocking.

1088
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 6: After my initial post, I honestly decided to just not

1089
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 6: involve myself with him anymore. I decided it wasn't worth

1090
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,959
Speaker 6: a potential future headache since we already had so many

1091
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,760
Speaker 6: past issues. I hadn't spoken him since then, up until

1092
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:05,839
Speaker 6: he told me he needs somewhere to stay, and I'm

1093
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:07,840
Speaker 6: one of the only people left that might be willing

1094
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:09,759
Speaker 6: to take him in at this point. I have since

1095
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 6: learned some things about his wife, who she seems kind

1096
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 6: of cuckoo, which is wild because knowing her while they

1097
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 6: were dating, she seemed like a normal human being, just

1098
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 6: one who was super religious, but not necessarily crazy.

1099
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 3: You know, guess the mask just slipped.

1100
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 6: She was forcing him to start cutting off his friends

1101
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 6: who were not part of the religion, and if he wouldn't,

1102
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:29,919
Speaker 6: she would reach out herself and say some nasty things

1103
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,360
Speaker 6: to try and drive them away, telling them lies about

1104
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,880
Speaker 6: things she had said about them or what he really

1105
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,239
Speaker 6: thinks about them, similar to what she'd said about me.

1106
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 6: He wasn't aware she was doing this, and he just

1107
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,840
Speaker 6: started getting messages from others going off on him for

1108
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 6: the things she had said. People started blocking them, et cetera,

1109
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 6: et cetera. He tries best to explain the situation, but

1110
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 6: they had decide they just don't want to be in

1111
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 6: her orbit anymore understandable. Then his uncle started to send

1112
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:57,840
Speaker 6: out wedding invitations well to absolutely nobody's surprise. She's not

1113
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 6: cool with that. She wasn't aware that uncle was attracted

1114
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 6: to other uncles, so to speak. My friend had kept

1115
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:05,799
Speaker 6: that part a secret. His uncle lives in another state

1116
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 6: and isn't on social media, but she found out from

1117
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 6: the wedding invitation. She told him that she's never to

1118
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:14,440
Speaker 6: speak of or to this uncle again, and that anyone

1119
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:17,200
Speaker 6: who supports their marriage should be cut off as well,

1120
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:17,879
Speaker 6: because they.

1121
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 4: Support giving it into the devil's temptation.

1122
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 6: She's a nut job. He decided to call it after that.

1123
00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 6: Once the family started being cut off, he'd had enough. Apparently,

1124
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:29,400
Speaker 6: he told her he wants a divorce. She starts destroying

1125
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:31,799
Speaker 6: his stuff, and now here we are, me him and

1126
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 6: his kid.

1127
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 4: Oh he has the kid.

1128
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 9: Okay, that was my big question, is what happened?

1129
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:40,280
Speaker 6: Yeahow, keep the kid, train the kid to do something coolate.

1130
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 9: Teach the kid out how to study the blade.

1131
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 6: Yes, while you were out partying with your friends, I

1132
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:51,239
Speaker 6: was inside studying the bleed. He can't be granted a

1133
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:53,839
Speaker 6: divorce for two years because they got one of those

1134
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:57,000
Speaker 6: covenant marriages, and she isn't willing to accept the divorce,

1135
00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 6: so he's just kind of stuck being legally married ry

1136
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:00,520
Speaker 6: to her.

1137
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:02,440
Speaker 3: They need to live separately for those two years.

1138
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:02,759
Speaker 4: He said.

1139
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:05,040
Speaker 6: He kind of wishes that she would have hitten ror

1140
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:07,520
Speaker 6: something so that he could meet one of those conditions

1141
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:10,799
Speaker 6: for getting granted a divorce. Anyway, that's where we're at.

1142
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 6: I still am not really interested in being his friend anymore.

1143
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 6: Like I said, there were issues before his wife got involved,

1144
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 6: and I don't really see anything getting fixed between us.

1145
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 4: We did.

1146
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,399
Speaker 6: The odds he'll do something to blow it up again

1147
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:24,359
Speaker 6: are too much above zero percent. Not going to waste

1148
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:26,640
Speaker 6: any more of my time on that. I couldn't just

1149
00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:28,799
Speaker 6: leave him and his kid with nowhere else to really

1150
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 6: go though.

1151
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:30,879
Speaker 4: That's just messed up.

1152
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 3: And that's all I got. Thanks, But we are at

1153
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:35,200
Speaker 3: the end of this story.

1154
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:36,359
Speaker 2: Let's finish her off.

1155
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:38,359
Speaker 3: Let's let's get it going here.

1156
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 6: There's a lot of confusion on what covenant marriage is,

1157
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:43,120
Speaker 6: and I think it's just a church ceremony type thing,

1158
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 6: which is fair.

1159
00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:44,879
Speaker 3: I didn't know.

1160
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:47,400
Speaker 6: About it before either. Covenant marriage is a legally binding

1161
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:50,720
Speaker 6: marriage license. Some states have two options when getting married.

1162
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 6: You can get the standard marriage license, but for a

1163
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:55,920
Speaker 6: sweet little fee. There's also the option of a covenant

1164
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:58,720
Speaker 6: marriage license, which is almost the same as the standard

1165
00:48:58,719 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 6: marriage license, except.

1166
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:01,880
Speaker 3: You we can only get a divorce under specific terms.

1167
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:06,000
Speaker 6: Those are basically just physical mistreatment infidelity, both people agreeing

1168
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:08,319
Speaker 6: or living apart for a year or two depends on

1169
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 6: the state. Essentially, you're giving up the right to a

1170
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:12,360
Speaker 6: no fault divorce from how I understand.

1171
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:14,880
Speaker 2: And there it go, and now we all understand.

1172
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:15,520
Speaker 3: And that's the end of that store.

1173
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:20,160
Speaker 6: I understand that, Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here,

1174
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:21,880
Speaker 6: and we're going to get back to the stories.

1175
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 3: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1176
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:27,640
Speaker 2: My boyfriend called me a gold digger because I asked

1177
00:49:27,719 --> 00:49:29,360
Speaker 2: him to do his chores.

1178
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 10: Oh, I don't like him.

1179
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:34,359
Speaker 2: I thirty female, have been with my boyfriend thirty four

1180
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:37,760
Speaker 2: male for two years. We moved in together six months

1181
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,799
Speaker 2: ago and it was all good. We had an understanding

1182
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:43,279
Speaker 2: that we would go fifty to fifty on chores and

1183
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 2: bills until we decided to have a child. As I

1184
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 2: would be putting my body, career and life online. He

1185
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:52,040
Speaker 2: would obviously need to make up for his lack of

1186
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 2: risk by contributing more around the house monetary. Because of this,

1187
00:49:56,920 --> 00:50:00,040
Speaker 2: I believe we had an understanding on how we I

1188
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 2: believe partnerships should work. By the way, this comes from

1189
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 2: designer Mongoose three eight And if you want to submit

1190
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story

1191
00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:11,279
Speaker 2: time sub bredd it. I'm Savannah, I'm Carly, and we're

1192
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:13,560
Speaker 2: here to give some good advice. Goofily. But we didn't

1193
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 2: have all the answers. We'd only tell you what we

1194
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:16,800
Speaker 2: would do, but you should let us know what you

1195
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:19,760
Speaker 2: would do down the comments. As op, he says two

1196
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:22,800
Speaker 2: months ago he got a slight promotion and pay bump,

1197
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:25,480
Speaker 2: which meant we adjusted our cut of the bills to

1198
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 2: reflect that. But somehow he comes to expect me to

1199
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 2: then take up the chores at home. It started with

1200
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 2: small things that I knew he could do, like dishes

1201
00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:38,760
Speaker 2: and laundry, and escalated to sitting down all weekend watching

1202
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:40,560
Speaker 2: me do my half and leaving his half of the

1203
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 2: chores to accumulate. He blamed it on the stress and

1204
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:47,160
Speaker 2: added workload, but we're both corporate and work at our

1205
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 2: desks regardless. I would be more understanding if his job

1206
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:54,160
Speaker 2: was more physically demanding. It got to a breaking point

1207
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 2: when I noticed mold in the pots he was meant

1208
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,760
Speaker 2: to clean. If either of us cook, it's the other's

1209
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:03,839
Speaker 2: responsibility too clean. He just kept the lid on it

1210
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 2: so that I wouldn't notice. I needed to take a

1211
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:08,680
Speaker 2: day off work to catch up with all the cleaning

1212
00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:11,479
Speaker 2: he neglected. The last straw was when he came home

1213
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:15,279
Speaker 2: without groceries despite it being his week. Usually when either

1214
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:17,239
Speaker 2: of us is too tired to do groceries. We let

1215
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 2: the other know in advance so we can at least

1216
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:21,719
Speaker 2: order in food. I told them we need to add

1217
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 2: a cleaner to the bills if he's not happy doing

1218
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 2: chores anymore, because I refuse to do them if he's

1219
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:30,880
Speaker 2: not contributing fairly too. He made an excuse about not

1220
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 2: wanting a stranger in her flat. I then said we

1221
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 2: need to begin ordering grocery deliverers for the extra cost too,

1222
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 2: if he can no longer be bothered, and he called

1223
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:43,959
Speaker 2: me frivolous with money. So I suggested that I would

1224
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 2: be happy to take up these responsibilities, but it would

1225
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:50,400
Speaker 2: mean I drop my working days from five to four,

1226
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:53,160
Speaker 2: and I would expect to be compensated for the sacrifice

1227
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:55,880
Speaker 2: I'm taking to my own career so he can focus

1228
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:59,319
Speaker 2: on his responsibilities because apparently they matter more than my own.

1229
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 2: And I would also expect to be paid an hourly

1230
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:04,800
Speaker 2: rate for doing the chores at the average market salary

1231
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:09,399
Speaker 2: for a housekeeper. You're asking him for money to pay

1232
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:11,800
Speaker 2: her for doing his chores. Oh, I don't know. I

1233
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:13,400
Speaker 2: feel like that's a little.

1234
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:15,799
Speaker 10: Well, he's not doing them and he refuses to pay

1235
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:16,759
Speaker 10: someone else to do him.

1236
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so it's like, so then pay me to

1237
00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:21,360
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I guess because his thing was like yeah, strangers.

1238
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:23,080
Speaker 2: So it's like, okay, well then pay me what you're

1239
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:25,600
Speaker 2: gonna Okay, okay, okay, I see, I.

1240
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:30,880
Speaker 10: See, I see the wheels turning. It's just worded very corporate.

1241
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:33,359
Speaker 10: I can tell you, guys working corporate, this is lean out,

1242
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:34,560
Speaker 10: like such a business plan.

1243
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:39,360
Speaker 2: He seems so surprised and shocked I'd suggest that and

1244
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:41,520
Speaker 2: didn't know how to reply. Despite having an answer for

1245
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 2: everything I said before, I started to feel like he

1246
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:46,759
Speaker 2: was trying to manipulate me into a situation that was

1247
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 2: more ideal to him and less ideal to me. And

1248
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 2: if he loved me, he wouldn't be doing that. So

1249
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:54,799
Speaker 2: I asked him if his friends put him up to this,

1250
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:58,480
Speaker 2: because I knew they all struggled to keep girlfriends, and

1251
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 2: he said a would be happy to look after the

1252
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:05,160
Speaker 2: house and called me a gold digger.

1253
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:08,239
Speaker 10: Itwa, I don't like him.

1254
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 2: You know, it was all fun and games until you

1255
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:13,719
Speaker 2: just stopped doing what your part was.

1256
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 10: It was all fun games. So you told me a

1257
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:17,560
Speaker 10: proper woman belongs in the household.

1258
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:21,720
Speaker 2: That is also true. Don't come at my gender.

1259
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 4: I do nothing to you.

1260
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:23,960
Speaker 2: You're the one not doing anything.

1261
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,720
Speaker 10: I have like basically the same job as you. Who's

1262
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:27,160
Speaker 10: too hot?

1263
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 4: Red pill alert, red pill alert.

1264
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:34,960
Speaker 2: I agree Mangan saying the words proper woman. Yeah, yeah,

1265
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:38,640
Speaker 2: I was shocked because I wasn't asking for designer items.

1266
00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:41,800
Speaker 2: I was asking for fair compensation for my labor, especially

1267
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 2: seen as it would dent my own career to take

1268
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 2: on all this work. So I called him a gold

1269
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:51,520
Speaker 2: digger for wanting a private chef and housekeeper for free. Okay,

1270
00:53:51,560 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 2: so now you're just both attacking each other. So this

1271
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:58,600
Speaker 2: is gonna get you nowhere. I mean, she is right though. Yeah,

1272
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:01,160
Speaker 2: I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just I don't think

1273
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:03,839
Speaker 2: you guys are for each other. Yeah, I don't think

1274
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:08,160
Speaker 2: this is like a good, good relationship here. I was

1275
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:11,560
Speaker 2: admittedly angry at this point, and also told him to

1276
00:54:11,560 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 2: stop being so proud of his promotion if he was

1277
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:16,480
Speaker 2: too proke to afford a chef and cleaner and instead

1278
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:18,719
Speaker 2: tries to manipulate the woman he loves to do it

1279
00:54:18,719 --> 00:54:21,359
Speaker 2: for free, not really for free, because taking a day

1280
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:23,719
Speaker 2: off from my salary means I'll be paying for the

1281
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:26,600
Speaker 2: privilege to clean up after him. Out of pocket. I

1282
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:29,000
Speaker 2: told him he was dragging me down when we were

1283
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:34,120
Speaker 2: supposedly meant to build each other up equitably. The flat

1284
00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:36,760
Speaker 2: is his, so when he was ignoring me after the fight,

1285
00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:40,520
Speaker 2: I started packing. He told me I would see sense,

1286
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:43,360
Speaker 2: but I didn't. Bother. I started to feel embarrassed that

1287
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:45,799
Speaker 2: I didn't notice he was like this and wasted two

1288
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 2: years to build up to this letdown. As I packed

1289
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:51,399
Speaker 2: my car, I said as much and told him to

1290
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:54,640
Speaker 2: not contact me. I blocked him everywhere, and now he's

1291
00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:57,720
Speaker 2: sending our mutual friends messages and voice notes to forward

1292
00:54:57,760 --> 00:55:01,000
Speaker 2: to me. My friends have been mostly on side, seeing

1293
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:03,759
Speaker 2: him as a bit pitiful, and I can see that.

1294
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:06,400
Speaker 2: One of the male friends we have in common mentioned

1295
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:09,920
Speaker 2: that he's been watching podcasts recently about masculinity, and I

1296
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:12,200
Speaker 2: have a feeling this is where he got the idea

1297
00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:14,959
Speaker 2: to stole my future and put me under his foot

1298
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:20,919
Speaker 2: to only serve his dreams and goals. Bro Eh, I say,

1299
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:22,879
Speaker 2: I hate masculinity.

1300
00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:27,040
Speaker 10: You dodged a bullet, yeah, he meaning says, and as

1301
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:28,920
Speaker 10: a proper man, you should earn a ton so I

1302
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:31,239
Speaker 10: can be a proper woman. They expect us to take

1303
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:35,200
Speaker 10: care of the house and also earn money, yes, and

1304
00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 10: then calls you a gold digger.

1305
00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:39,279
Speaker 2: Mm hmm right. I feel angry the more I think

1306
00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:43,400
Speaker 2: about it. He loved those podcasts men's ideas more than

1307
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 2: he loved me, and now he expects me to feel

1308
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:47,960
Speaker 2: sorry that he can't afford the rent without my contribution.

1309
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:50,440
Speaker 2: But I believe he still thinks I'm the gold digger

1310
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:53,480
Speaker 2: for not accepting an unfair division of effort and labor.

1311
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:56,000
Speaker 2: If this has happened to any other women, how did

1312
00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:58,520
Speaker 2: you address it? I'm annoyed. I let it trickle and

1313
00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:02,479
Speaker 2: accumulate for two months for addressing moving forward, I won't

1314
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:05,560
Speaker 2: enter a relationship without having this outlined at the dating stage.

1315
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:07,879
Speaker 2: I'm in my thirties now and don't want to deal

1316
00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 2: with men expecting free women labor because society makes them

1317
00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:13,840
Speaker 2: believe it's worthless in comparison to what they do.

1318
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:15,279
Speaker 1: Hmmmm.

1319
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:18,839
Speaker 2: That was nice to hear. That was really nice. There

1320
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:22,600
Speaker 2: are some relevant comments Known party sixty five twenty nine says,

1321
00:56:22,719 --> 00:56:25,320
Speaker 2: what messages or is he sending you besides rent? Is

1322
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:27,959
Speaker 2: he trying to get you back? Ohp. He responds mainly

1323
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:31,000
Speaker 2: apologies and explanations for what he said the last message

1324
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:33,160
Speaker 2: I read was about his plans for his career and

1325
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 2: how he wanted to become a high earner so I

1326
00:56:35,719 --> 00:56:38,320
Speaker 2: never need to work and he can buy me everything.

1327
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:41,239
Speaker 2: Me and my friends agree he is digging a hole

1328
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:44,879
Speaker 2: as he still ignores my career in goals and after

1329
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:47,279
Speaker 2: accusing me of being a gold digger, his plan is to.

1330
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 4: Make me a gold digger.

1331
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:51,439
Speaker 5: Not sure.

1332
00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:54,640
Speaker 2: I think he is just in crisis mode now, so

1333
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:58,960
Speaker 2: I will say, that's actually kind of what like my

1334
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:03,200
Speaker 2: ex thought, he like very much was like, you know,

1335
00:57:03,520 --> 00:57:05,560
Speaker 2: like would always kind of like throw my face, like

1336
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:07,759
Speaker 2: you know, so many so many women would love to

1337
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:09,880
Speaker 2: be in your position, like not have to work, like

1338
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 2: could just be a stay at home mom. Whatever ball

1339
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 2: I said. I never asked to be a stay at

1340
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:17,040
Speaker 2: home mom, and I'm not a mom. Yeah, I don't

1341
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:19,120
Speaker 2: have children, and I don't really want to just stay

1342
00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:21,680
Speaker 2: home all day. Some people do and there's no problem

1343
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:21,920
Speaker 2: with that.

1344
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:22,600
Speaker 5: Though.

1345
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 2: If I stay in a room for too long, I

1346
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:27,160
Speaker 2: get antsy. I'm like, I gotta go do something. I

1347
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:29,520
Speaker 2: need fresh air, I need something, like I don't. I

1348
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:32,200
Speaker 2: don't like just to sit in bed all day, and

1349
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 2: I mean I do, but like in in like, what

1350
00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:42,720
Speaker 2: do you call it? I don't know, like not, guys, help,

1351
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:46,560
Speaker 2: I have no idea what you're trying to say. Right now,

1352
00:57:46,600 --> 00:57:49,040
Speaker 2: I'm trying to say, like, not all the time, but

1353
00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:50,480
Speaker 2: in quantities.

1354
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 10: Yeah, Christine the Greek says, as a Slavic woman, I

1355
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:55,160
Speaker 10: do not dig for gold.

1356
00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 2: The right man will bring it to me. It's true.

1357
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 2: As a Slavic woman, I won't stay for that crap.

1358
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:04,280
Speaker 2: Oh oh, personally, I'll just sit down. Chapter thirty nine,

1359
00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 2: I'm sitting down.

1360
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:11,360
Speaker 10: This isn't gonna make sense because this is over like

1361
00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:13,360
Speaker 10: eight different episodes.

1362
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:15,320
Speaker 2: That was so good.

1363
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:17,880
Speaker 4: That was so good. Chapter forty.

1364
00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:25,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I he's yeah, he's gone. I don't know

1365
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 2: what he's doing. Probably the same thing that he always does. Ope.

1366
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 2: He added more elsewhere about the messages. I am sorry.

1367
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:35,560
Speaker 2: I realized after posting that I didn't elaborate. It was

1368
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:38,280
Speaker 2: just the latest the string of messages he's tried to

1369
00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:40,959
Speaker 2: pass on, and it shocked me enough to make the post.

1370
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:43,480
Speaker 2: It was on my mind when I typed the title

1371
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 2: before I went on rant mode ha ha. He basically

1372
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:50,080
Speaker 2: just mentioned that because I left without giving him time

1373
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:52,640
Speaker 2: to adjust his budgets, I should pay for the next

1374
00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:53,439
Speaker 2: month of rent.

1375
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:59,000
Speaker 10: No no, actually no, actually no, actually no, I'm not.

1376
00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:01,800
Speaker 2: Gonna pay because I'm not freaking living there anymore. Yeah,

1377
00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:04,320
Speaker 2: and you said that it's your flat, and I moved

1378
00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:06,280
Speaker 2: out of your flat, so no, I'm not gonna pay you.

1379
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:08,600
Speaker 10: It's doing so well, raised boy, you're fine.

1380
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, literally showed up Chapter forty. I'm tired now, but

1381
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,440
Speaker 2: he lived there before, so I know he can afford

1382
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:19,720
Speaker 2: it if he becomes frugal. My name was not on

1383
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 2: the lease, and when I mentioned I wanted to be

1384
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:23,680
Speaker 2: on it. In my country, having a pay per trail

1385
00:59:23,720 --> 00:59:26,440
Speaker 2: of rent agreements makes it easy to rent when you move.

1386
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:30,040
Speaker 2: A void isn't great. He told me not to worry,

1387
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:32,760
Speaker 2: so I guess he kind of saved me from that

1388
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:36,760
Speaker 2: in his own way. And there's an edit. Thank you

1389
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:39,880
Speaker 2: for the overwhelming support. I see so many people who

1390
00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:41,480
Speaker 2: have gone through the same thing, and it makes me

1391
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:43,840
Speaker 2: feel less angry that I found myself in this situation.

1392
00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:46,440
Speaker 2: I wanted to explain a few points that came up

1393
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:52,000
Speaker 2: a lot. Chapter one. He created an Excel spreadsheet that calculated,

1394
00:59:52,080 --> 00:59:55,640
Speaker 2: based on income, how we can fairly contribute. When his

1395
00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:59,680
Speaker 2: pay increased, he paid more monthly eighty yuar os and

1396
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:03,800
Speaker 2: also had four hundred euros extra monthly to disposable income.

1397
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:06,400
Speaker 2: If this is what soured him, I suppose he should

1398
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:09,360
Speaker 2: have mentioned it, because it was his system, not mine.

1399
01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:13,400
Speaker 2: We do not keep a tally. We had favorite chores.

1400
01:00:13,520 --> 01:00:15,800
Speaker 2: He likes to vacuum, I like to put dishes away.

1401
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:18,800
Speaker 2: Sometimes he is sick, does overtime, or isn't in the mood.

1402
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:21,680
Speaker 2: I would happily do it, same with him. For me,

1403
01:00:22,480 --> 01:00:24,800
Speaker 2: I only started to tally when a pattern emerged. It

1404
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:27,160
Speaker 2: would be stupid to not take notice when he is

1405
01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:30,320
Speaker 2: consistently leaving things to me silently, as if expecting me

1406
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:34,320
Speaker 2: to silently sort it out. The mold was disgusting. The

1407
01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:37,040
Speaker 2: groceries were just the straw that broke the camel's back.

1408
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:39,800
Speaker 2: I exhausted after only two months of picking up the

1409
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 2: slack mentally and physically, couldn't imagine doing it without serious

1410
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:48,120
Speaker 2: reconsiderations to our dynamic. We discussed children because we both

1411
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:50,360
Speaker 2: agreed we wanted the relationship to head in that direction,

1412
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:53,720
Speaker 2: not because we were ready now. I would not have

1413
01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:57,080
Speaker 2: spent two years with a man if our future ideas

1414
01:00:57,160 --> 01:01:00,720
Speaker 2: didn't ALIGNE It's okay if someone changes mine later, but

1415
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:04,840
Speaker 2: communication is important. He listened to these podcasts in secret.

1416
01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:07,840
Speaker 2: I had no idea, and we usually share the entertainment

1417
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:10,640
Speaker 2: we consume together, silly videos and films. Oh, and there's

1418
01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:15,479
Speaker 2: an update six months later. Y. I mean, I would

1419
01:01:15,560 --> 01:01:23,000
Speaker 2: hope that you're doing great, and he isn't. Chapter chapter eight,

1420
01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:27,720
Speaker 2: you're doing great. In chapter nine, he isn't. Chapter nine,

1421
01:01:27,880 --> 01:01:32,560
Speaker 2: he isn't. All right, let's get to this update six

1422
01:01:32,680 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 2: months later. Hey, I posted a few months ago about

1423
01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:39,680
Speaker 2: my relationship falling apart due to his change in ideology

1424
01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:42,240
Speaker 2: and seeing me less like a partner and more like

1425
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:45,880
Speaker 2: someone who only exists to support his dreams. The breakup

1426
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,600
Speaker 2: was quick. I walked out after a major fight with

1427
01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:51,000
Speaker 2: most of my items, and my father went back to

1428
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:53,800
Speaker 2: collect the rest while I was on FaceTime. I wasn't

1429
01:01:53,840 --> 01:01:55,880
Speaker 2: scared of him them, but I knew he tried to

1430
01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:58,640
Speaker 2: talk to me as he was bothering all our mutual

1431
01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:00,680
Speaker 2: friends to get in contact with me on his behalf.

1432
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:05,000
Speaker 2: Since then, I have slowly drifted away from our mutual friends,

1433
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:08,320
Speaker 2: as no one has cut contact with him, and I

1434
01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:11,080
Speaker 2: just wanted friends who didn't feel like they were walking

1435
01:02:11,120 --> 01:02:14,400
Speaker 2: on eggshells. Around me. He had started off being very

1436
01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:18,480
Speaker 2: apologetic in his messages to me through them, but quickly

1437
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:21,160
Speaker 2: became mean and blame me for everything. He lost the

1438
01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:23,920
Speaker 2: flat because he could no longer afford it and move

1439
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:27,640
Speaker 2: to a studio. While he was heartbroken, his sister would

1440
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:30,240
Speaker 2: look after him and clean sometimes, but even she got

1441
01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:33,080
Speaker 2: tired of it. He told everyone he was depressed because

1442
01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:35,760
Speaker 2: of me, so they all tiptoed around him. But once

1443
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:37,600
Speaker 2: I started to drift off and hang out more with

1444
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:40,919
Speaker 2: my hometown friends and reconnect, I heard less and less.

1445
01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:43,560
Speaker 2: About a month ago, I got asked on a date

1446
01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 2: and said yes. The man thirty three let's say Martin

1447
01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:52,120
Speaker 2: is completely new to this area and knew barely anyone.

1448
01:02:52,480 --> 01:02:53,880
Speaker 2: So we spent a lot of time together in the

1449
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:57,200
Speaker 2: first week, just me showing him around and being more

1450
01:02:57,440 --> 01:03:01,480
Speaker 2: like friends before seriously dating. How my ex found out,

1451
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,040
Speaker 2: I'm still not sure how, but I think a mutual

1452
01:03:04,160 --> 01:03:07,320
Speaker 2: friend saw me and reported back. He turned up at

1453
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:10,600
Speaker 2: my father's house he doesn't know where I currently live,

1454
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:13,520
Speaker 2: asking to talk to me. I called a mutual friend

1455
01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:16,320
Speaker 2: to alert them of his weird behavior. It seemed to

1456
01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:20,000
Speaker 2: work because he didn't try anything for a while, but

1457
01:03:20,120 --> 01:03:22,240
Speaker 2: then one called me to tell me that they found

1458
01:03:22,280 --> 01:03:24,520
Speaker 2: my ex has lost his job because for the past

1459
01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:27,000
Speaker 2: few weeks he's been driving around my town all day

1460
01:03:27,040 --> 01:03:29,000
Speaker 2: instead of working, in the hopes to spot me.

1461
01:03:29,320 --> 01:03:32,800
Speaker 10: Spiraling, spiraling crisis, mental health crisis.

1462
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:39,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's not good. That's called stucking, And now

1463
01:03:39,720 --> 01:03:43,280
Speaker 2: you're being weird. This has scared me, as I didn't

1464
01:03:43,320 --> 01:03:45,320
Speaker 2: think he was capable of that, But if you read

1465
01:03:45,360 --> 01:03:47,960
Speaker 2: my last post, you'd know I don't seem to be

1466
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:51,280
Speaker 2: able to predict these things. Well, Martin is a tall,

1467
01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:54,040
Speaker 2: large man, so I go out with him almost everywhere

1468
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:56,960
Speaker 2: since we like spending time together anyways, and I also

1469
01:03:57,040 --> 01:03:59,280
Speaker 2: had my friends and my father's so I don't feel

1470
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:03,800
Speaker 2: like I'm in imminent danger. But this behavior sounds like

1471
01:04:03,920 --> 01:04:06,520
Speaker 2: the kind of behavior from an entitled and delusional man,

1472
01:04:07,240 --> 01:04:09,960
Speaker 2: and we all know how far their delusions of entitlement

1473
01:04:10,040 --> 01:04:12,360
Speaker 2: can take them. For him to lose the job he

1474
01:04:12,480 --> 01:04:15,640
Speaker 2: wanted me to prioritize over mine, which was the entire

1475
01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:18,920
Speaker 2: start of our argument last time, doesn't sit right with me.

1476
01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:19,920
Speaker 4: Stucker.

1477
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:25,080
Speaker 2: I don't like him, Yeah, this cuckoo, Yeah, he kinda like, Yeah,

1478
01:04:25,520 --> 01:04:28,920
Speaker 2: I don't know, he's kind of spiraling.

1479
01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:32,040
Speaker 10: He lost his job because he was driving around looking

1480
01:04:32,320 --> 01:04:32,640
Speaker 10: for you.

1481
01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:36,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, do not let him find out where you live.

1482
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:36,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1483
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:39,360
Speaker 2: I don't like this man. He just seems like he

1484
01:04:39,440 --> 01:04:42,800
Speaker 2: wants to control every aspect of you. For what red pill,

1485
01:04:43,240 --> 01:04:47,320
Speaker 2: red pill, red pill, stop and listening to masculinity podcast.

1486
01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:53,400
Speaker 2: Just ask your girl what she wants, and also believe

1487
01:04:53,440 --> 01:05:04,840
Speaker 2: in yourself and maybe talk to a arapist please, Rangel, Rangel,

1488
01:05:06,200 --> 01:05:09,080
Speaker 2: all right, let's keep going. At this point, the police

1489
01:05:09,160 --> 01:05:11,560
Speaker 2: here can't do anything as he hasn't acted, and I

1490
01:05:11,640 --> 01:05:14,480
Speaker 2: can't prove that he has stocked me electronically, so the

1491
01:05:14,560 --> 01:05:16,720
Speaker 2: only way for me to find out more or resolve

1492
01:05:16,800 --> 01:05:20,600
Speaker 2: this is by unblocking him. I am grateful I blocked him,

1493
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:23,840
Speaker 2: though so thoroughly, because it allowed me to have a

1494
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:27,160
Speaker 2: clean break. But obviously in his red pill mind, that's

1495
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:31,240
Speaker 2: not normal. Will closure help him? Martin has suggested that

1496
01:05:31,400 --> 01:05:34,200
Speaker 2: he'd even pretend to be a fully dedicated boyfriend to

1497
01:05:34,200 --> 01:05:39,000
Speaker 2: help discourage my ex from any ideas of reconciliation. Honestly,

1498
01:05:39,240 --> 01:05:41,960
Speaker 2: since our breakup, I have been considering moving to Portugal,

1499
01:05:42,400 --> 01:05:45,960
Speaker 2: but very whimsically. Now this situation has made me think

1500
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:49,680
Speaker 2: about it seriously. Oh oh, and That's that's it. Well,

1501
01:05:49,720 --> 01:05:52,800
Speaker 2: there you go. I guess if you want to you can, Yeah,

1502
01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:55,800
Speaker 2: why not? You're free start a new Yeah. Also, well

1503
01:05:55,880 --> 01:05:58,240
Speaker 2: could be good. What's what's Martin doing? Is he gonna

1504
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:01,560
Speaker 2: is he gonna on new he could?

1505
01:06:02,080 --> 01:06:02,680
Speaker 10: Or what it was?

1506
01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:05,200
Speaker 2: It was, what's the story with Dad? We never got

1507
01:06:05,200 --> 01:06:10,280
Speaker 2: the update on Martin whatever. That's the end of that story.