1
00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,360
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is like a whole new thing

2
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:04,520
Speaker 1: that we're in person again.

3
00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,000
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's good to see you.

4
00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:08,520
Speaker 1: It's great to see you. I'll tell you last week.

5
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:12,520
Speaker 1: I know. We actually are in person today, which we

6
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,880
Speaker 1: haven't done in a while. And it just so.

7
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:17,439
Speaker 3: Happened to work out that she had remember how to

8
00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:20,320
Speaker 3: use the recording stuff, because it's not just zoom doing it.

9
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:21,120
Speaker 1: For a different box.

10
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:22,240
Speaker 2: It's a different box.

11
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,119
Speaker 4: And your house looks amazing.

12
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:24,959
Speaker 1: Thank you you did.

13
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,040
Speaker 3: She did like she was not lying when she said

14
00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:30,760
Speaker 3: she cleaned up. I haven't looked upstairs because up I'm

15
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:32,479
Speaker 3: literally cripple.

16
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I want to get to that, but first

17
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,320
Speaker 1: I want to tell the people I am not some

18
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:41,199
Speaker 1: like dirty more. I just like redecorated.

19
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,040
Speaker 4: Basically, you took back your space.

20
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,519
Speaker 1: I did. That's what we did, Yeah, because I was

21
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,600
Speaker 1: like overflowing with stuff. And then I totally created my

22
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,480
Speaker 1: upstairs into the office space. I have a new sound

23
00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:53,960
Speaker 1: booth that I've been recording in in Clua.

24
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,640
Speaker 4: It's going to drop an album in twenty four.

25
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,640
Speaker 1: Why don't you tell the people why you couldn't walk

26
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,440
Speaker 1: up my stairs to go to all out?

27
00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:04,440
Speaker 4: I started a trainer and it I don't.

28
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:04,760
Speaker 2: I can't.

29
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,480
Speaker 3: First of all, I can't remember last time I actually

30
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,600
Speaker 3: like went to the gym to work out, so it's

31
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:12,160
Speaker 3: been a long time. And my my, what are these

32
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,320
Speaker 3: things called at the top of your legs?

33
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,800
Speaker 4: Your quads? My quads are reminding me of that.

34
00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:21,080
Speaker 3: It's been so I did my leg day was on Tuesday,

35
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:24,480
Speaker 3: and yesterday was pretty bad, okay, And I hoped to

36
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:28,040
Speaker 3: get up today to do a full body and no,

37
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:28,880
Speaker 3: I couldn't.

38
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:29,720
Speaker 2: I can't.

39
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,800
Speaker 3: And the stairs I almost panicked. I went into the

40
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,000
Speaker 3: office today and I went to go to the bathroom

41
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,440
Speaker 3: and when you walk by the when you go to

42
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,560
Speaker 3: the bathroom, you pass the elevator and someone had put

43
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,440
Speaker 3: a sign on the elevator that said elevators out of order.

44
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:44,479
Speaker 3: And I was like, I'm gonna have to sleep here.

45
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,640
Speaker 3: I can't walk down the stairs.

46
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:47,960
Speaker 4: I don't know what I'm going to do.

47
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,919
Speaker 3: But apparently the power had gone out and our building

48
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,560
Speaker 3: was running on a generator and the elevator won't work

49
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,280
Speaker 3: then and it came back on, so it was fine.

50
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,600
Speaker 1: You have amino complex?

51
00:01:58,960 --> 00:01:59,920
Speaker 2: What kind of complex?

52
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,080
Speaker 1: I've been passing about this on Instagram because I have

53
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:07,520
Speaker 1: a trainer that has me on Creatine my school boyfriend,

54
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,720
Speaker 1: and no, he says, like for especially for women over forty,

55
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,680
Speaker 1: but also like specifically people over forty, we lose so

56
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:18,040
Speaker 1: much muscle and like our muscle mass and muscle right

57
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,799
Speaker 1: density is that I don't know, you guys can talk

58
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:24,560
Speaker 1: to him anyway. He said that we lose it so

59
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,920
Speaker 1: rapidly after forty that even if you're working out, it

60
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,639
Speaker 1: makes it so much harder to build, and so it's

61
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,720
Speaker 1: important to be supplementing like that. And then I have

62
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:36,720
Speaker 1: this stuff by the same brand called Amino Complex, and

63
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,000
Speaker 1: it helps you with your sore muscles faster, like get

64
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:39,720
Speaker 1: over it faster.

65
00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:41,080
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, I'll show you.

66
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:41,760
Speaker 2: I want to get some.

67
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,560
Speaker 4: I might have to take a hit of it upstairs.

68
00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:45,839
Speaker 2: God.

69
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:48,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, we are so wild over here, just shooting Amino

70
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:49,440
Speaker 1: Complex and.

71
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,560
Speaker 4: Crazy bring by Needle.

72
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,360
Speaker 1: But that's great, Oh my god. I mean it's great though,

73
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,920
Speaker 1: because you're following through what your goal was.

74
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:01,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm doing it, like and I was honest with him,

75
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,959
Speaker 3: yeah about it. I was like, I had planned to

76
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,280
Speaker 3: get up this morning and do it because my plan

77
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:11,079
Speaker 3: right now is what I've promised myself is three workouts

78
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,840
Speaker 3: a week plus I have to do two hours combined cardio.

79
00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:17,160
Speaker 3: I can spread it out over, however, many days with

80
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,919
Speaker 3: an optional fourth. So the idea would be Monday, Tuesday, Thursday,

81
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,960
Speaker 3: and then the optional fourth would be Friday or Saturday,

82
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,639
Speaker 3: and then Sunday's a rest day. So I was hoping

83
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,600
Speaker 3: to do that, but now I'm thinking, I'm hoping tomorrow

84
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,639
Speaker 3: I'll be able to go and do a full body yeah,

85
00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:33,799
Speaker 3: because it is starting.

86
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,680
Speaker 4: To get a little better. But I mean earlier today

87
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:36,120
Speaker 4: it was.

88
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,960
Speaker 1: Worse than Yes, sometimes you got to power through or

89
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,800
Speaker 1: like the cardio might help. Like right when I'm super sore,

90
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,800
Speaker 1: I go for walks. It's brutal, but it does help

91
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:45,240
Speaker 1: work it out.

92
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,280
Speaker 3: I'm going to tonight, I'm gonna get on my peloton

93
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,600
Speaker 3: and just ride for thirty minutes, but like not high intensity,

94
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,680
Speaker 3: just like let it do. Because what this is something

95
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:58,200
Speaker 3: interesting that now we're doing a Now we're like fitness influencers.

96
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,080
Speaker 1: I mean apparently I didn't know this, but.

97
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:02,200
Speaker 2: You know I didn't.

98
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,680
Speaker 3: There was no stretching at the end of the program,

99
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,280
Speaker 3: and I said, I asked him, I was like, shouldn't

100
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,960
Speaker 3: I be stretching? I like worked out pretty hard, and

101
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:12,440
Speaker 3: he said stretchings overrated. Most people hurt themselves during stretching,

102
00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:16,000
Speaker 3: and he was like, do your cardio after and it

103
00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,159
Speaker 3: will work out the lactic acid in your muscles and

104
00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:18,760
Speaker 3: help you.

105
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,719
Speaker 1: That's crazy. So I mean that makes sense to me.

106
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hope he's right, because that's what I'm going

107
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,880
Speaker 3: to start doing. Yeah, once I.

108
00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:27,760
Speaker 1: Don't have to stretch that because my back gets tight.

109
00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:29,280
Speaker 1: Now we're aging ourselves.

110
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:31,479
Speaker 2: You don't sleep upside down?

111
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:35,000
Speaker 1: What I'm kidding, Oh my god, it's not.

112
00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:36,400
Speaker 4: So.

113
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,200
Speaker 1: It's the month of love. And I was telling you

114
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,640
Speaker 1: before the podcast that on the velvet side of things,

115
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:45,080
Speaker 1: I'm taking like a different approach to talking about love

116
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,480
Speaker 1: because I feel like in our society, we don't really

117
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,040
Speaker 1: teach people how to be in relationships. It's just like

118
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:54,719
Speaker 1: you're expected to know, right, and so you're like put

119
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,760
Speaker 1: out into the world, like go on fly away and

120
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,840
Speaker 1: do their thing. And if you didn't grow up with

121
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,800
Speaker 1: parents who had a perfect relationship, which I don't think

122
00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:06,680
Speaker 1: any of us did, you don't really know how to

123
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,120
Speaker 1: show up any differently than exactly how they did.

124
00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:09,560
Speaker 4: Right.

125
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,560
Speaker 1: So on the velvet side of things, I'm going to

126
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,760
Speaker 1: talk a little bit with different experts about just different

127
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,800
Speaker 1: ways to have awareness about your own ways that you

128
00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:21,120
Speaker 1: show up in relationship and then also how to do

129
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:25,280
Speaker 1: it differently. So with the edge side of things, we

130
00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:27,760
Speaker 1: were like, okay, well we also don't get taught how

131
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,880
Speaker 1: to do sex, and there's all of these assumptions.

132
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,840
Speaker 4: Remember if taught how to do it.

133
00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:36,320
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Well it's like you have sex education, right,

134
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:40,000
Speaker 1: like we had. I think our pe teacher taught us

135
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,680
Speaker 1: the basics of sex when I was like thirteen, and

136
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,599
Speaker 1: all you do is sit in the class and you laugh.

137
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,200
Speaker 1: But also I went to a Christian high school and

138
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:50,200
Speaker 1: so it's like and then don't do this until you're married, right,

139
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,839
Speaker 1: And those are the only things that you're basically taught,

140
00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:54,560
Speaker 1: and so the rest is like, we'll figure it.

141
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:55,520
Speaker 4: It's all shame based.

142
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's very shame based. And so you and

143
00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,600
Speaker 1: i'd said, well, let's take the same approach of the

144
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,160
Speaker 1: velvet side of things, but on the edge, we'll talk

145
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:06,680
Speaker 1: about sex. Yes, so what you said minute, since we've

146
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,280
Speaker 1: done this, it really is. I think we got in

147
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:10,960
Speaker 1: and we were like, Wow, you guys really like talking

148
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,919
Speaker 1: about sex. And we're like, we're we got well maybe

149
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,160
Speaker 1: maybe that, but then also like I felt like we

150
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,520
Speaker 1: were like shooting above our pay grade. Like I'm like, I.

151
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,600
Speaker 4: Don't know what to tell you guys the emergent at

152
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:22,000
Speaker 4: that point.

153
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:27,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, you were like reversin us, No, it's crazy. Well,

154
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,120
Speaker 1: so anyway you brought up to me, you were like,

155
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:32,920
Speaker 1: I just feel like Americans have this like very puritanical

156
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,760
Speaker 1: view of sex. So tell us what you said.

157
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:38,520
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I mean it's like when I traveled in

158
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:42,640
Speaker 3: Europe in high school, I saw I was shocked to

159
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:48,680
Speaker 3: see ads on television that had nude breasts and you know,

160
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,360
Speaker 3: bust shelter like advertisements with nude breast and it was,

161
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:57,039
Speaker 3: you know, like it was just different than anything that

162
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:57,800
Speaker 3: I'd seen before.

163
00:06:57,839 --> 00:06:59,839
Speaker 4: And it didn't shock me. I was just more.

164
00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:02,880
Speaker 1: And how casual they were about it.

165
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,799
Speaker 4: I mean, I mean, it's your body.

166
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:09,240
Speaker 3: It's a body, right, And you know, my family we

167
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:10,600
Speaker 3: never talked about sex.

168
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,000
Speaker 4: We still don't, and I'm forty eight years old.

169
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:17,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I've experienced now that I'm an adult and

170
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,160
Speaker 3: I have friends who have kids, I've been able to

171
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,000
Speaker 3: witness that there is a shift.

172
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,280
Speaker 2: And I don't I'm not saying that's for.

173
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:26,400
Speaker 3: Everyone, but like, I think every generation learns from the

174
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:30,600
Speaker 3: mistakes of their parents, or you hope they do. And

175
00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,920
Speaker 3: so I've seen some sort of healthy relationships between parent

176
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:37,080
Speaker 3: and child talking about not just about sex but just

177
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,800
Speaker 3: about like love and relationships and just normalizing things that

178
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:44,640
Speaker 3: were not normalized when I was young, and I you know,

179
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,720
Speaker 3: I think it's really important that we talk about things

180
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,200
Speaker 3: because like I'm guilty of it myself, being like, ew,

181
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,840
Speaker 3: that's weird, and I'm like, not everything has to be

182
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:53,120
Speaker 3: for me.

183
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,320
Speaker 2: That's fine, I'm not.

184
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,240
Speaker 3: I don't want to do everything, but I also don't

185
00:07:56,240 --> 00:08:00,240
Speaker 3: want anyone to judge what I do a because it's

186
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,920
Speaker 3: nobody's fucking business but my own. I mean, as I

187
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:04,720
Speaker 3: sit here with a microphone in my hand telling people

188
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:09,360
Speaker 3: my business. But it's like the reason why I want

189
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,080
Speaker 3: to be willing and able to do that is so

190
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:15,240
Speaker 3: that it can help other people sort of overcome the

191
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:19,200
Speaker 3: shame spiral. And because there are definitely things that I

192
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,880
Speaker 3: won't do because I feel like they are weird, but

193
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,640
Speaker 3: I want to clarify they are weird for.

194
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:29,000
Speaker 4: Me, sure, and to each his own you do you boo?

195
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,079
Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean, that's just sort of where I

196
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:34,839
Speaker 3: am with it, and I thought it would be a

197
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:38,240
Speaker 3: really interesting sort of topic to like really dive into

198
00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:38,960
Speaker 3: this month.

199
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I think we've covered some of the

200
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:44,160
Speaker 1: like we always have Susan Braden on, you know, she's

201
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,240
Speaker 1: like one of our favorite people. And I think it's

202
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,320
Speaker 1: for one of the reasons that you're saying right now,

203
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,640
Speaker 1: which is that she'll just say shit right, Like she

204
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,000
Speaker 1: doesn't have a filter about sex. She's like, why are

205
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,960
Speaker 1: y'all being weird about this? Right, let's normalize this. I

206
00:08:56,040 --> 00:09:00,760
Speaker 1: also really appreciate that she is talking about it within

207
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:04,439
Speaker 1: her marriage, and so it's not like like I just

208
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,640
Speaker 1: feel like there's two things that happen in our society.

209
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,319
Speaker 1: It's like you're first falling in love with someone, you're

210
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:12,520
Speaker 1: in a relationship, you have you know, sex all the time.

211
00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:14,880
Speaker 1: Sex is great, Sex is like the main thing on

212
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,599
Speaker 1: the menu, and then you get married or in a

213
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,400
Speaker 1: long term relationship and it kind of just dwindles, right,

214
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,559
Speaker 1: But we don't really talk about how to keep the

215
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,400
Speaker 1: spark alive or why that's happening or anything like that.

216
00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:31,000
Speaker 1: Or there's like the other parts of sex where if

217
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,240
Speaker 1: you're not in a relationship, like how are you hitting

218
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,000
Speaker 1: are you just not having sex at all, or you

219
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:39,480
Speaker 1: like secretly having some sort of masturbation sessions that you're

220
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:43,120
Speaker 1: shamed ashamed about those two? Or are you going to

221
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,000
Speaker 1: the opposite extreme and just fucking anything that walks by

222
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:50,520
Speaker 1: and there's but it's like that is how our society operates,

223
00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:53,160
Speaker 1: Like you said, so shame based that it's so extreme

224
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:54,120
Speaker 1: to both ends.

225
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:57,240
Speaker 3: Well, I mean even within a relationship, being able to

226
00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,719
Speaker 3: ask for what you want to do without being in

227
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:04,400
Speaker 3: about right, you know, Like I struggle with that, yeah,

228
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:09,040
Speaker 3: And I mean I'll do it sometimes when the mood strikes,

229
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:13,160
Speaker 3: but like it's not easy, and I just don't understand,

230
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:16,480
Speaker 3: like what is wrong with unless you're like asking for

231
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,760
Speaker 3: like out of the blue, you go from being a

232
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,160
Speaker 3: very vanilla person in bed to being like I want

233
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,160
Speaker 3: to eat your shit and like to do something.

234
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,160
Speaker 4: Like really fucking weird that your partner's.

235
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:30,000
Speaker 3: Like, who are you right? Like, but it's or even

236
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,800
Speaker 3: just being like, yo, let's do it right now. Like

237
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:37,120
Speaker 3: I think that the phone, Like I don't know if

238
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:41,440
Speaker 3: text messaging has made it better or worse because it's

239
00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:45,000
Speaker 3: so much easier to like be kinky over the phone

240
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,400
Speaker 3: that like suddenly you can't.

241
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,720
Speaker 1: Do it in person, like you're too ashamed, shy.

242
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,240
Speaker 2: It's like too shy, you know.

243
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,520
Speaker 3: But I hope, my hope is that the phone has

244
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:59,240
Speaker 3: actually opened people up and for someone who might not

245
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,120
Speaker 3: be asking for what they want, at least now they

246
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:02,560
Speaker 3: can do.

247
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:03,040
Speaker 4: It this way.

248
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:06,439
Speaker 1: Well, this brings me to the main point that I

249
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,840
Speaker 1: feel like we get wrong about sex in America. And

250
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,319
Speaker 1: I kind of told you about this before, but what

251
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:14,000
Speaker 1: you just described is exactly it right, Like we can

252
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,000
Speaker 1: do it over text, but when you get in person

253
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:19,200
Speaker 1: it becomes really hard. And so ultimately doesn't this go

254
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,920
Speaker 1: back to us having an intimacy issue? Yeah, like we

255
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:27,280
Speaker 1: don't know how to do it, so we are really

256
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,160
Speaker 1: shy about it. We stuff our feelings, we don't know

257
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,760
Speaker 1: how to talk to our partners. And where we miss

258
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:36,000
Speaker 1: with that with sex is like we're completely taking away

259
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:39,560
Speaker 1: the fact that no matter who you're having sex with,

260
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:43,040
Speaker 1: how long you've been together, what your relationship is, there

261
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:47,440
Speaker 1: is a complete energetic exchange when that happens. And for

262
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:49,679
Speaker 1: some reason, I feel like our society tries to present

263
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,880
Speaker 1: like that's not the deal. It's like, this is a

264
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,640
Speaker 1: physical act and whether you're in love or not is

265
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,559
Speaker 1: not what I'm talking about. It's the energy, it's the exchange.

266
00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,480
Speaker 1: It's like the soul connection, it's whatever. And we just

267
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,319
Speaker 1: go Okay, no, you put this in that and then

268
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,000
Speaker 1: have fun and we pass out. Yeah, and then we

269
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,320
Speaker 1: pass out, and then we act like nothing ever happened, right,

270
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:12,439
Speaker 1: And it's like, well, no, fucking wonder, we're not satisfied sexually, right,

271
00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:15,800
Speaker 1: because that is like not really leaning into the beauty

272
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,640
Speaker 1: of sex in my opinion.

273
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:21,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And what's you know, what's funny is I

274
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:24,400
Speaker 3: feel like or what's interesting is probably a better word.

275
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,520
Speaker 3: The sort of puritanical approach that America has taken a

276
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:33,840
Speaker 3: sex and body is that it's made it worse because

277
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:39,840
Speaker 3: we now like people now feel like they have to

278
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:44,000
Speaker 3: do things secretly and they have to push boundaries secretly

279
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:49,520
Speaker 3: versus like creating a loving, like energetic experience that.

280
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:53,280
Speaker 1: Is like, you know, really satisfying, like.

281
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:54,720
Speaker 4: A satisfying exchange.

282
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:59,360
Speaker 1: But that's what it's a really beautiful thing exactly. Also,

283
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,359
Speaker 1: when you say you're atanical, I was researching before the podcast,

284
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:08,520
Speaker 1: and like, obviously America was built with a very religious foundation,

285
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:12,600
Speaker 1: and so the Puritans, although many articles did say like

286
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,679
Speaker 1: they were not against sex, there was just certain parameters

287
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:19,400
Speaker 1: like that you're married. It's like obviously there was no

288
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:23,560
Speaker 1: same sex situations happening. That was like a big no no.

289
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:27,920
Speaker 1: But mostly sex was looked at for creating children, so

290
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,160
Speaker 1: like you know, that aspect of it takes away all

291
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,960
Speaker 1: the stuff we were just talking about, like the energy exchange,

292
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,880
Speaker 1: the soul connections. And I do feel like other countries

293
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:40,560
Speaker 1: and other environments really embrace sex in a different way,

294
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:44,400
Speaker 1: Like it's a human need. We are made to feel pleasure.

295
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,320
Speaker 1: There's no shame in that. It's a beautiful experience, which

296
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,120
Speaker 1: then also gives you the freedom to do it in

297
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:54,160
Speaker 1: all of these different ways that are respectful and like

298
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,520
Speaker 1: where you're valuing yourself. Like remember what I said to

299
00:13:57,559 --> 00:13:59,319
Speaker 1: you before, where I said, I think what a lot

300
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:02,199
Speaker 1: of girls do, and this is there's a whole bunch

301
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,040
Speaker 1: of like women programming sex. Shit we could talk about.

302
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,720
Speaker 1: But one of the main frustrations I have is that

303
00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:12,760
Speaker 1: you're either in a relationship, you're having sex, you're whatever,

304
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,280
Speaker 1: or you get out of the relationship, and it's like

305
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:18,160
Speaker 1: your only other option is to either not have sex

306
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,800
Speaker 1: or go balls to the wall and be like I'm

307
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,840
Speaker 1: owning my sexuality and sleep with any guy that walks

308
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,240
Speaker 1: by or something. And I'm like, that's not owning your

309
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:31,040
Speaker 1: sexuality actually, because to me, that's not valuing your own

310
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:35,320
Speaker 1: body or like your own energy. Also, someone told me

311
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,880
Speaker 1: that like women hold the energy of their partners in

312
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:42,520
Speaker 1: their body for up to seven years, so like it

313
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,560
Speaker 1: isn't just the flippant thing when you have sex specifes.

314
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:50,840
Speaker 1: Is that crazy? Yeah, So it's like it's actually, well,

315
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,760
Speaker 1: it's just like interesting because it's it's for me. It's like, well,

316
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,680
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna be a lot more particular about who I'm.

317
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,280
Speaker 4: Allowing inside your body.

318
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it's just it's a different sense of valuing.

319
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,320
Speaker 1: But it's also like, yeah, I don't want to like

320
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:08,120
Speaker 1: exchange energy with a person that is not good vibes

321
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,880
Speaker 1: like or not a good energetic match for me.

322
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:15,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that that's crazy. But I like, yeah,

323
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,960
Speaker 3: I mean yeah, I just wonder too, like is that

324
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:23,600
Speaker 3: only a sexual thing or is that even just an

325
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:27,440
Speaker 3: interactive like if you're with a part like if you're

326
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:31,520
Speaker 3: with a partner and you're together for three years or whatever,

327
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,800
Speaker 3: not just sexual energy. They have a lot of negative

328
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,120
Speaker 3: energy and it's fighting and stuff. Yeah, Like does that

329
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:38,800
Speaker 3: energy get trapped in your body too?

330
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,400
Speaker 1: It probably depends on the experience. But like I remember

331
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:45,160
Speaker 1: getting out of what I would call probably my most

332
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:50,160
Speaker 1: toxic relationship and really craving like reiki and different things

333
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,760
Speaker 1: that were moving energy off my body. And I can't

334
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,600
Speaker 1: think that that was a mistake because I think my

335
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:57,360
Speaker 1: body was just like I can't hold this anymore, you know.

336
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,960
Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean I don't know, but I just

337
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:05,080
Speaker 1: know that sex in particular, because men are like inside

338
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:08,520
Speaker 1: of us, like that's the penetration piece is where the

339
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:12,080
Speaker 1: massive energy exchange happens, and so it isn't just this

340
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:15,280
Speaker 1: flippant thing like women get made fun of, like oh,

341
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:18,040
Speaker 1: it's just because you need to have like emotional connection

342
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,880
Speaker 1: and blah blah blah blah blah, and where it's like

343
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,640
Speaker 1: men can just fuck. But like, I don't know if

344
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:26,880
Speaker 1: that's true, first of all, But secondly, like I think

345
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,840
Speaker 1: the reason we're more attached to it that way is

346
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,400
Speaker 1: because of the penetration energy.

347
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,680
Speaker 4: Interesting, huh, I wonder if it is true for anal.

348
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,200
Speaker 1: That would be your Yeah, you'll have to invest in

349
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:43,000
Speaker 1: You're gonna have.

350
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:46,560
Speaker 4: To look at a different website. My friend I was

351
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:47,680
Speaker 4: I'm scared to Google that.

352
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,600
Speaker 1: I was actually at dinner with some friends last night

353
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,400
Speaker 1: and we were kind of talking about some of these

354
00:16:56,440 --> 00:17:01,800
Speaker 1: sex topics, and one of the girls was like, oh God, yeah,

355
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,120
Speaker 1: like as I get older, I'm just like losing my mojo,

356
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,240
Speaker 1: like I haven't in my last relationship, Like I just

357
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:08,959
Speaker 1: didn't want to have sex. And I was like, well,

358
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,920
Speaker 1: do you think it's because you like hated him by

359
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,840
Speaker 1: the end of the relationship though, And she started laughing,

360
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,879
Speaker 1: but then she was like, I mean, honestly, probably so.

361
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,000
Speaker 1: And then the other girls at the dinner chime in

362
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,600
Speaker 1: and they're like, that is so interesting. I never think

363
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,199
Speaker 1: about the fact that, like I don't want to have

364
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,439
Speaker 1: sex with my husband when I'm mad at him. And

365
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:29,080
Speaker 1: I was like, whow what, Like I don't understand how

366
00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:35,160
Speaker 1: people miss the like emotional energetic exchange that happened.

367
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,880
Speaker 3: Did they think it like, because clearly, if you're mad

368
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,080
Speaker 3: at your husband, you're not having sex with him. But like,

369
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,879
Speaker 3: did they think it was because they're like making then

370
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:45,560
Speaker 3: active choice to like I'm holding out because you're an ass?

371
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,960
Speaker 1: It was more like if it wasn't like a super big,

372
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,280
Speaker 1: like they had just gotten in a fight conversation. It

373
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,400
Speaker 1: was more like over the next you know, like over

374
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,280
Speaker 1: the next couple of days after a fight or something

375
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 1: that they couldn't let it go and they just hadn't

376
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,600
Speaker 1: gotten over that yet. But instead of giving them oh,

377
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,479
Speaker 1: I'm just not over this yet, or like what do

378
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,639
Speaker 1: I need to move past this, they're like, oh, I

379
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:09,200
Speaker 1: just don't want to have sex, but not really understanding why, right, right,

380
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,320
Speaker 1: And I just think that's another thing we don't talk about,

381
00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:14,680
Speaker 1: like we just expect our bodies to perform at all times.

382
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:16,160
Speaker 3: Right, I mean, because there is pleasure in it too.

383
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,800
Speaker 3: So it's like, I guess you could make the mistake

384
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:20,840
Speaker 3: of being like, well, maybe this will like help me

385
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,440
Speaker 3: feel better about the situation if at least I'm getting

386
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:24,000
Speaker 3: some pleasure.

387
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:30,120
Speaker 1: But oh yeah. So I was researching and I found

388
00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:32,879
Speaker 1: on Huffington Post an article that said eight things Americans

389
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:37,119
Speaker 1: get wrong about sex. One, our healthcare system tends to

390
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,400
Speaker 1: ignore sexual health, so like we don't really talk about

391
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,159
Speaker 1: it until there's an issue. And so Americans have the

392
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:47,120
Speaker 1: highest rate of STDs of any other country, which I mean,

393
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:47,880
Speaker 1: we're big.

394
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,080
Speaker 4: Too because we're told not to have sex, but.

395
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,880
Speaker 1: Right, we're told not to have it, so then we're

396
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,840
Speaker 1: doing secret sex. There's not a lot of education about

397
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,000
Speaker 1: you know, STDs or whatever until you get one, and

398
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:01,640
Speaker 1: then you're like, well shit, I don't know what, like

399
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,080
Speaker 1: like preventative stuff, you know.

400
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:03,560
Speaker 3: Right.

401
00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 1: That was one, Like it's just more common to discuss

402
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:10,320
Speaker 1: in other countries and which makes it less taboo. Two,

403
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,920
Speaker 1: we have subpar sexual education, like we were saying, I.

404
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,920
Speaker 3: Mean I think you know right now, it's on the

405
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,400
Speaker 3: chopping block in a lot of places. Really, Yeah, because

406
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 3: of all these fucking crazy Sorry if you're a Republican, but.

407
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,080
Speaker 4: Like I'm not just saying Republicans.

408
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,120
Speaker 1: I don't think you can crazy.

409
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:31,640
Speaker 3: Republican sort of legislation like and like Florida and stuff

410
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,480
Speaker 3: where they're cutting all that stuff from schools.

411
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,640
Speaker 1: You're trying to say super conservative, yeah, because we can't

412
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:37,600
Speaker 1: say we don't know.

413
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:41,360
Speaker 4: And I was saying crazy like it's on our next level.

414
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 1: Right, Which that is a point we like to make

415
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,280
Speaker 1: about the politics. Is just like I think most people

416
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:48,200
Speaker 1: are somewhere in the middle, so this is not right.

417
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:53,160
Speaker 1: I don't know, the extremes are where the issues become. Yeah,

418
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:57,919
Speaker 1: So that just like getting more STDs, people feeling like

419
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:01,399
Speaker 1: they need to hide it. So and then like again,

420
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,920
Speaker 1: you're not really you don't really know how to do it, right,

421
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:09,119
Speaker 1: I don't know. So there's all of that, the whole

422
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 1: amount of money pushing the idea that being good depends

423
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:17,320
Speaker 1: on if you abstain from sex before marriage, like like

424
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,720
Speaker 1: you're a good person if you do that, you're a

425
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:25,040
Speaker 1: bad person if you don't. Oh, yeah, I'd rather.

426
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,280
Speaker 4: Be good at sex than be a good person. You went,

427
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,320
Speaker 4: I'm older, you know what I mean, Like tell me more.

428
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:31,720
Speaker 4: I would rather like.

429
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:38,879
Speaker 3: Fumble through it as a younger person, yeah, you know,

430
00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:42,040
Speaker 3: in your thirties, and like I don't know what I'm doing.

431
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:45,120
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I'm all for whatever works for you.

432
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,760
Speaker 1: If you if that is something that you feel very

433
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 1: adamant about, it's part of your religion, it's something that's

434
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,400
Speaker 1: really important to you. More power to you.

435
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 4: Right.

436
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,679
Speaker 1: I totally get where that comes from too, because like

437
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,000
Speaker 1: there is a lot of pain that from having sex

438
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:02,920
Speaker 1: with people and then like it ended, you know, there

439
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,120
Speaker 1: is all of that for me also though it's been

440
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 1: like such a big learning experience and teacher about myself,

441
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 1: Like just I don't even know how to say it

442
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 1: other than that just teaching me about myself and growing

443
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 1: within myself and then setting my own boundaries, not just

444
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 1: making boundaries because that's what I was told to do

445
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,720
Speaker 1: when I was young, Right, right, this is an interesting one.

446
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:32,040
Speaker 1: We have a schizophrenic relationship with porn, Yeah, but I

447
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 1: think it goes back to the shame thing on. The

448
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,320
Speaker 1: porn thing is such a hard topic for me to

449
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,040
Speaker 1: talk about because I don't really know what to feel

450
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:45,640
Speaker 1: either way. Like, I do believe that porn over stimulates

451
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 1: our brains and makes actual sex trickier. Right, So, like,

452
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 1: if you are watching porn all the time, I don't

453
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 1: think you're going to be able to like perform or

454
00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,240
Speaker 1: show up in sex with a partner in the same way.

455
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 1: But I also don't know that. I feel like I

456
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,240
Speaker 1: used to be really scared of porn because I was

457
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,439
Speaker 1: with a partner who had an addiction with that, and

458
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 1: so I got really scared of it for a long

459
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 1: time and was just like, no, this is bad, this

460
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 1: is bad. This is bad. Now I'm sort of like

461
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 1: if that works for people, Okay, I don't really know

462
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,240
Speaker 1: that it's bad or good or whatever. I think it's

463
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,240
Speaker 1: just a personal choice, right, and you have to decide

464
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:26,400
Speaker 1: like within your relationship and within your relationship with yourself.

465
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,719
Speaker 3: Well, I think when it becomes a replacement for having

466
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,200
Speaker 3: sex with your partner.

467
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 4: That's what it's really problematic. Yeah, because it.

468
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,679
Speaker 1: You know, it ends relationships, you know, when the secret

469
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 1: piece of it is. Yeah, that's what this says too.

470
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,719
Speaker 1: Porn use is often perfectly harmless, but the fact that

471
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:52,399
Speaker 1: people who that claim the most traditional public views on

472
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:56,000
Speaker 1: sex are perfectly eager to incorporate porn into private life

473
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 1: speaks to American's insistence on keeping sex hidden.

474
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:00,280
Speaker 4: Right.

475
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,400
Speaker 1: So again, I think it's like the more we talk

476
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 1: about stuff, or the more like you're you're open with

477
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:09,119
Speaker 1: your partner, and y'all decide, Okay, this works for our relationship,

478
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,840
Speaker 1: this doesn't. I don't know. I think that, Yeah, that

479
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 1: seems like the best option. Okay, this one we don't

480
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 1: know how to do it very well, see told you.

481
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 1: But that's like that's like Susan Braddon. I mean, I know,

482
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 1: I keep bringing her up, but like there's all these

483
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:29,439
Speaker 1: courses on different ways, like different massages to do, and

484
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,199
Speaker 1: it's all these ways to really try to tap in

485
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,879
Speaker 1: more with your partner. It's not like she Remember she said,

486
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 1: I had been with my husband for ten years and

487
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:39,400
Speaker 1: had never orgasmed, and so I was like I didn't

488
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 1: want to do it anymore. Right, So now but now

489
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 1: she's like living her best sexual life.

490
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 3: Also still learning, Yes, you know, she's still exploring, she's

491
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,040
Speaker 3: still learning, she's figuring out new things that she's like,

492
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:55,480
Speaker 3: she's keeping it exciting, and I think that, like it's

493
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 3: that's important.

494
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 4: Well, it's it's very.

495
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 3: Easy to become complacent in a relationship. Yeah, and the

496
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:06,440
Speaker 3: sex can disappear like it's still you can be very

497
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,199
Speaker 3: loving and communicative and all of the things that you

498
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:12,160
Speaker 3: need out of a relationship, but the sex can fall

499
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 3: apart if you're not attentive to it.

500
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 1: Or giving it like yeah, giving it the energy that

501
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,640
Speaker 1: you give anything else, like in your job, where you'd

502
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,440
Speaker 1: want to keep learning. It's like you know that thing

503
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,239
Speaker 1: when you're in a relationship for a bit and you

504
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 1: start to know the moves, You're like, I know the

505
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,680
Speaker 1: move that's going to get them off, So like I'm

506
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 1: just going to do the moves instead of actually being

507
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 1: present in the moment to do wherever whatever the night

508
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 1: takes you to our day or whatever it is that

509
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 1: you're having sex morning. But yeah, I think that we

510
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:43,639
Speaker 1: just get believing. Okay, your boss.

511
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 4: She listened, he's she listens to.

512
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 1: I hope she's tuned off. Where was I going with that?

513
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 1: Had a point? Damn it?

514
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 3: You said, No matter where you're having sex.

515
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 1: You know the moves. Oh, it's just I think it's

516
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,439
Speaker 1: just like the kind of the point is that we

517
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 1: the things that we care about, we put energy into

518
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:19,439
Speaker 1: learning and continue continued growth and evolution, and this is

519
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,440
Speaker 1: one of those things. One we don't know that much

520
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 1: about it, but then two you get in a relationship,

521
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 1: you just learn the moves, and then no, wonder you

522
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 1: get bored.

523
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 3: Well, because it's not about emotional connection at that point,

524
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:33,400
Speaker 3: it's about getting off right and that becomes boring.

525
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:37,360
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, because you can also do that yourself. Yeah,

526
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 1: that's fun and actually probably quicker and easier.

527
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 4: It's just like any time of day at work, at work.

528
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 1: What about this one? We pretend it doesn't exist. A

529
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 1: common thing in American's mishandling of sex is the element

530
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 1: of shame associated with it, when the reality that people

531
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 1: have sex and would prefer it to be good is

532
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 1: ignored in a classroom and doctor's office. It's true nature,

533
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 1: the good, the bad, and the ugly is obscured.

534
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:08,199
Speaker 4: Wow.

535
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 1: I just like I've thought this a million times. I'm like,

536
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 1: what are we actually teaching kids in school that matters?

537
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 1: Because I mean, it's great to know history. But I'm

538
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,880
Speaker 1: also just like I don't use algebra like I don't

539
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:23,679
Speaker 1: use so funny.

540
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 3: I was in a meeting yesterday with a potential client. Yeah,

541
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:30,440
Speaker 3: she's she's homeschooled because she's high school agent, but she's

542
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 3: really focusing on music, okay, and she was talking about

543
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,639
Speaker 3: like I'm just not good at math, while I was like,

544
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 3: don't well. I was like, you're never going to use trigonometry,

545
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 3: and I held up my phone. I was like everything

546
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 3: you need to know. This thing can do free the truth.

547
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 3: Like I was like, I go focus on Spanish and

548
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 3: her mother goes, oh no, that's her other worst subject.

549
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 4: I go, okay, fine, French, like.

550
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 3: Because that's those things are useful, which is funny because

551
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,199
Speaker 3: like languages, they weren't like you had to choose one,

552
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 3: but it was kind of also an elective.

553
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,680
Speaker 1: You're like, oh my god, I took Latin in high

554
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:11,159
Speaker 1: school and right, I mean right, there's definitely certain careers

555
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: that need certain things, but it isn't specialized at all.

556
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 1: And then I just don't feel like we're giving life skills.

557
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 1: And I know everyone's like, well, that's the parent's job,

558
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, do we not look at how

559
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,399
Speaker 1: busy parents are like too, and it's like kids are

560
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,679
Speaker 1: also in school all day, then they come home, they

561
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 1: have homework, then they got to go to bed. What

562
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,439
Speaker 1: are we going to do another lesson? Like that's just

563
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,640
Speaker 1: I do think it is true that it's the parent's job,

564
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 1: because you can't really like like everyone's gonna have a

565
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 1: different belief system, right, but we have there has to

566
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 1: be a better way of like somewhere somewhere in something

567
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 1: there's education about emotional intimacy or like how to actually just.

568
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 3: Giving your kid a book and saying, hey, I know

569
00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:00,280
Speaker 3: this is a really uncomfortable conversation for you. It is

570
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,919
Speaker 3: for me too. I want you to read this and

571
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 3: ask me any questions. Yeah, because it's it's not like

572
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 3: you're going to be like showing your kid how to

573
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 3: have sex, because that's great, No, but like.

574
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 4: Give them the tools and the and the permission to

575
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,359
Speaker 4: ask questions.

576
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 1: And to be curious. Yeah, instead of being like, oh this,

577
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 1: I said.

578
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 2: To my niece.

579
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:25,640
Speaker 3: She went to her first school dance. She's fifteen now.

580
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 3: She went to first school dance.

581
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 4: This was a few months ago, and I was texting

582
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,400
Speaker 4: with her and I was like, you.

583
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 3: Know, how is your dance? She was like this was fun.

584
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 3: I was like did you dance with any boys? And

585
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 3: she was like yeah.

586
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:36,439
Speaker 2: I said did you.

587
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 4: Kiss any and she was like no?

588
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 3: And then like I was like okay, that's cool, and

589
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 3: I was like why didn't you She's like I didn't

590
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,720
Speaker 3: want to. And I was like, okay, well, I mean

591
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 3: it's okay to want to kiss boys. Yeah, and she

592
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 3: was like okay, this is gross or whatever. And then

593
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 3: like a few hours later, I get a text from

594
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 3: my sister that was like, can you please stop giving

595
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 3: advice to my daughter about kissing boys or like telling

596
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:00,360
Speaker 3: her to kiss all the boys at the ants. And

597
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 3: I was like, that's not what I was doing, you know, Like,

598
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 3: but I think it's important for you to normalize that stuff.

599
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:07,680
Speaker 4: You know.

600
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 3: I don't think I want my niece out there being

601
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 3: a whore. That is not what I'm telling you.

602
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 1: But if it's a secret she does.

603
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 3: Maybe she does become that yeah, and doesn't talk to

604
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 3: my sister about it. I'm like, you have to like

605
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 3: normalize these things so she can say, Hey, I think

606
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 3: I really want to kiss this boy, then kiss him,

607
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 3: you know, kiss him. Like you have to encourage that

608
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 3: stuff because otherwise it becomes a shame thing.

609
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's such a tough line. Yeah, I just feel

610
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 1: like I don't know why I keep having this thing.

611
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, you go to school for all your childhood,

612
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 1: then you get to your adulthood and you're like, I

613
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 1: need to go to life school and learn how to

614
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 1: do all this shit. Like I don't nobody knows what

615
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 1: they're doing, you know, and I know a lot of it.

616
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 1: We have to like figure out as we go. But

617
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 1: I just feel like we could do We could.

618
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 4: Wish it would be just be teachers.

619
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:09,120
Speaker 1: Us way too much respect for teachers to ever think

620
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 1: that I could do it.

621
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 4: We could join the school board and make sure.

622
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 1: That they're teaching about sex and schools. I'm sure they'd

623
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 1: have us.

624
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 3: You just ask them to play, you know, play our

625
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 3: podcast in the morning.

626
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 1: You never like, oh my god, that school would go

627
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 1: to hell anyway if you guys, have any topics that

628
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 1: you would like us to discuss in this month of

629
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 1: love and sex. You can always email us at the

630
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:36,479
Speaker 1: Edge at velvetedge dot com, or you can leave us

631
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: a voicemail on our new voicemail system and that is

632
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 1: on my Instagram at velvet Edge in the link to

633
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 1: my bio link of bio link in bio yeah lin

634
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 1: link and bio that thing. Chip, where are you on Instagram?

635
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 4: I'm at C H I P D O R S C.

636
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 1: We should play with the voicemail in your bio too.

637
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm happy to do that.

638
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 4: Okay, I think right now, I just have like my

639
00:30:58,760 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 4: Amazon wish list.

640
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, we'll put the voicemail and Chip's Instagram bioto,

641
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 1: so you guys hit us up with that. We'd love

642
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: to hear from you. And as you guys go into

643
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 1: the weekend and you're living on the edge, I hope

644
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 1: you always remember too ab casual, All right, Bye,