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Speaker 1: This is Cowboys Sam, and this is ye how John,

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Speaker 1: and we've.

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Speaker 2: Last showed in some amazing stories for y'all the Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytime podcasts.

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Speaker 1: But before that we got a wrangle, a quick little

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Speaker 1: tone minute outbreak from those bucking sponsors.

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Speaker 3: We bucking love so much they paid us the bucks

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Speaker 1: My father wants a memorial for my sister at my wedding,

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Speaker 1: and I refused.

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Speaker 4: A memorial sounds kind of good, though.

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Speaker 1: Weather it's a trigger warning for grief. My younger sister

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Speaker 1: passed away last year. She was an adult but young,

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Speaker 1: and it was sudden. I don't want to get into

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Speaker 1: too much detail, but she made some bad choices that

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Speaker 1: contributed to her short life. She was also not well mentally.

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Speaker 1: She had an extremely tumultuous relationship with my mom and me,

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Speaker 1: with some ups but mostly very nasty downs, especially during

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Speaker 1: years when we tried to save her from herself. By

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Speaker 1: the way, this comes from user don't look at me please,

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Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 1: to the ur Slashowkay Storytime subburn it.

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Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're here.

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Speaker 1: To give you good advice. It will goofy. We don't

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Speaker 1: have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

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Speaker 1: so if you do something else, let us know in

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Speaker 1: the comments and op says. On the other hand, my

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Speaker 1: dad was often idealized by her and they had a

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Speaker 1: better relationship. My fiance did not have a good relationship

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Speaker 1: with her either. Her final years and passing were traumatic

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Speaker 1: for our whole family. It especially impacted my dad. Since

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Speaker 1: she passed, my dad has made a point of eulogizing

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Speaker 1: her at every family event we've had to remember her

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Speaker 1: and make sure she was present. It's always been difficult

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Speaker 1: for both my mom and me because I have a

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Speaker 1: lot of intense, difficult emotions surrounding her and her passing.

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Speaker 1: I always cry for hours and I end up feeling

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Speaker 1: downhearted and out of sorts for days after each one

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Speaker 1: of these surprise memorial events. My dad will be the

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Speaker 1: officiant at our wedding. It is very soon. I only

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Speaker 1: recently learned that he plans to memorialize her during the

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Speaker 1: ceremony and in his toast. I really don't want him

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Speaker 1: to do this, but he's extremely resistant because he doesn't

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Speaker 1: want to pretend like she was never here. In his words,

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Speaker 1: I will admit that it is childish for me to

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Speaker 1: feel bitter about someone who is no longer here. But

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Speaker 1: growing up I had a lot of events hijacked by

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Speaker 1: her causing some incident, and now it feels like it's

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Speaker 1: happening again, even when she's gone. If we had a

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Speaker 1: better relationship, I might have been more okay with taking

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Speaker 1: a moment to remember her. But my dad tends to

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Speaker 1: ilionize her and has selective memory where he's forgotten everything bad.

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Speaker 1: He was shocked when I said I wasn't comfortable with

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Speaker 1: her being mentioned in a speech outside of my own baggage.

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Speaker 1: My fiance certainly doesn't want her mentioned. This is not

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Speaker 1: just a my side of the family event like the

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Speaker 1: previous memorials. I also fear it will bring down what's

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Speaker 1: supposed to be a happy time and make the guests

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Speaker 1: sad or uncomfortable. I want to try to compromise with

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Speaker 1: him by having my mom, him, and me whear yellow

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Speaker 1: jewelry in discreet places to remember her, as yellow was

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Speaker 1: her favorite color. But I'm not sure if he'd be

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Speaker 1: okay with this because it's too secret. I know the

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Speaker 1: title sounds bad. I was hoping people might be able

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Speaker 1: to assess this objectively and give suggestions, especially if they've

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Speaker 1: been at weddings with memorials before. Unfortunately, for me, this

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Speaker 1: is a trickier situation than i'd like because of who

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Speaker 1: my sister was. Long, long story short, How can I

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Speaker 1: let my dad feel like we're honoring my sister's memory

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Speaker 1: without upsetting my mom, my fiance, and myself too much

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Speaker 1: to enjoy the day. I'm at a loss and it's

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Speaker 1: hard for me to approach this objectively. We do have

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Speaker 1: an edit, but yeah, feelings are hard. I don't think

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Speaker 1: there's any way that you can just be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna white knuckle through this. If that's how

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Speaker 1: it affects you, that's just how it affects you. If

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Speaker 1: you want to change that, I would think you'd have

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Speaker 1: to master like all of your emotions, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean.

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Speaker 5: Like, yeah, I don't think it's wrong for her to

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Speaker 5: be like that's too much for me though for my

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Speaker 5: wedding day, So like, please don't mention her in speeches.

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Speaker 5: I think that the compromise that she had with the

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Speaker 5: yellow jewelry is really good. Maybe you can like leave

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Speaker 5: a seat empty for her or something.

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Speaker 4: During the ceremony.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, more noticeable so that Dad's happy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there are definitely ways to honor someone without having

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Speaker 1: to like stop everything whole speech, you know.

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Speaker 3: And it's also going to be like, yes, we can

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Speaker 3: remember her, but at every single thing at you know,

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Speaker 3: I think it's.

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Speaker 5: Just the FACTI and he's like, surprise, let's talk about

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Speaker 5: your past sister. Now that's gonna be so hard to

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Speaker 5: be sprung off. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even like really tell you guys, or.

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Speaker 5: It sounded like like a bunch of surprise memorials.

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Speaker 3: I get it, but like there should be a balance

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Speaker 3: of it kind of thing, not like every single time

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Speaker 3: or like let's do this so much because you know,

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Speaker 3: you're just gonna keep bringing it up.

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Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, this is your wedding,

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Speaker 1: so you should be able to make the calls. There's

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Speaker 1: an edit. I need to go to bed, so I

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Speaker 1: won't be replying further. But I wanted to thank the

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Speaker 1: people who offered condolences and advice, and also those who

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Speaker 1: were rightfully saying, girl, what are you thinking when I

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Speaker 1: said maybe I should just let him do it. I've

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Speaker 1: gotten a lot of great ideas for other ways of

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Speaker 1: remembering people not just my sister, and ways to handle it.

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Speaker 1: If my dad tries anyway, I'm having a serious discussion

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Speaker 1: with him tomorrow, and if I get any hint that

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Speaker 1: he's going to ignore my fiance and I wishes, then

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Speaker 1: we'll find another officiant. I wish i'd been smart enough

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Speaker 1: to fully settle this issue months ago instead of days

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Speaker 1: from the wedding, but lesson learned about clear communication there.

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Speaker 1: Thanks again, and we have some comments from OP. My

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Speaker 1: mother and I have both tried to talk about how

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Speaker 1: we process grief differently, especially given how difficult our relationships

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Speaker 1: with my sister were. That's part of why I wasn't

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Speaker 1: expecting him to do that this is at the wedding,

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Speaker 1: because he did it for my birthday and I had

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Speaker 1: to talk about how hard that was. Unfortunately, I guess

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Speaker 1: I didn't make the impression that I thought I did.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to ask him to step down as

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Speaker 1: the officiant, because I think it would really hurt him

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Speaker 1: and cause more problems than just letting this happen. I

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Speaker 1: just hope I could find a compromise that allows him

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Speaker 1: to feel like he's not forgetting about his other daughter

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Speaker 1: without making me too depress to be a good wife

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Speaker 1: to my fiance or hostess to my guests. It's really

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Speaker 1: messing with me when I think about her passing so

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Speaker 1: much and regarding the I don't know why you'd expect

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Speaker 1: this to be different. Tell me about it. I thought

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Speaker 1: it was understood that this was not the time, but

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Speaker 1: I was not clear enough and should have been more clear.

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Speaker 1: I'd like to do some kind of counseling. My excuse,

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Speaker 1: and I'm aware this is an excuse, is that I'm

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Speaker 1: working a job where finding extra time is difficult. Just

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Speaker 1: in the lead up to the wedding, I've been going

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Speaker 1: to bed at three am and waking up at eight

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Speaker 1: just to be sure I do everything I need to

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Speaker 1: for work and wedding planning. Admittedly I fall into the

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Speaker 1: trap of thinking I just need to find a good time,

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Speaker 1: but it has, of course not magically presented itself. My

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Speaker 1: dad tried grief counseling briefly, but he quit after a

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Speaker 1: few sessions and refuses to try again, thought it was

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Speaker 1: too impersonal. My mom and I, but especially my mom,

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Speaker 1: have become his therapist instead, which is not awesome for

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Speaker 1: us for the reasons you can imagine. Yeah, I felt

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Speaker 1: like that's exactly where that was going after he said

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Speaker 1: that it's too impersonal.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, reason being Also, you guys aren't therapists. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 5: just not gonna go.

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Speaker 1: Well, you're like the closest like emotionally affected people to this,

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Speaker 1: and instead of getting help, he's just like making all

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Speaker 1: of his feelings also your responsibility on top of your

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Speaker 1: own feelings.

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Speaker 4: About this double grief.

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Speaker 1: And because he has different feelings than you, and you

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Speaker 1: guys have gone through clearly a lot more negative stuff

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Speaker 1: with your sister, you can't reflect those feelings back at

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Speaker 1: your dad because he's just gonna not reciprocate or understand them,

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Speaker 1: or he's gonna take it personally and be like why

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Speaker 1: would you bring that up? Like why would you want

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Speaker 1: to talk about that? Yeah, So you just have to

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Speaker 1: sit there and be a sponge for all of his

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Speaker 1: feelings about the situation. It's not fair. Convincing him to

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Speaker 1: do family counseling would be difficult, and unfortunately the wedding

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Speaker 1: is in only days. That's why I haven't said he

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Speaker 1: shouldn't officiate finding someone else this soon would be a

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Speaker 1: burden and the emotional turmoil of saying he can't officiate,

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Speaker 1: would I think make things even worse than letting him

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Speaker 1: do the memorial speeches for a variety of reasons. He's

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Speaker 1: also shown that he will just kind of do things

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Speaker 1: to memorializer even when he's not in an official position,

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Speaker 1: So I think that wouldn't really stop him if he

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Speaker 1: were determined. That's why I'm hoping to find a compromise

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Speaker 1: that's less obtrusive so he doesn't feel guilty without literally

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Speaker 1: calling everyone's attention to my sister's passing and there's an update.

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Speaker 1: But I I think you just need to have a

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Speaker 1: full conversation about Like, I get it, we all miss her.

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Speaker 1: It's affected all of us, but we don't want this right.

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Speaker 1: We don't want this at our wedding.

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Speaker 5: I am still very worried that even if she talks

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Speaker 5: to him, and even if he's like, yeah, yeah, I

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Speaker 5: will not do it, he's gonna do it.

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Speaker 1: I think you might need to hit him with like

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Speaker 1: the I understand we all miss her in our own

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Speaker 1: way and we're grieving, but I'm still here and I'm

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Speaker 1: asking you as my father to not do this. You

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Speaker 1: can still respect your other child's wishes. Yeah, I am

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Speaker 1: asking you right now in front of you, and hopefully

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Speaker 1: that's what happened. Four days later, I spoke with my

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Speaker 1: dad the morning after making the post. I tried to

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Speaker 1: emphasize that mentioning my sister's passing in detail at the

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Speaker 1: wedding would be very difficult emotionally for my mother and

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Speaker 1: I and would take away from my fiance and now

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Speaker 1: husband's day and would probably make the guests uncomfortable or saddened.

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Speaker 1: He said he was resistant at first because he's been

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Speaker 1: so afraid of my sister's memory fading away, but that

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Speaker 1: ultimately he understood my concerns. He still wanted her present

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Speaker 1: in some way that wouldn't take away from our day,

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Speaker 1: and I offered suggestions that people gave for ways to

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Speaker 1: have her memory present. We decided to have a seat

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Speaker 1: reserved for past loved ones at the ceremony and an

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Speaker 1: empty seat with a name tag for her at the

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Speaker 1: wedding party's table during the reception dinner. My dad was

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Speaker 1: the officiant as originally planned, and he gave a beautiful

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Speaker 1: speech at the ceremony and a heart felt toast that

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Speaker 1: was focused on the joy of the day instead of

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Speaker 1: the sadness of the past. Yes, there we.

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Speaker 4: Go go Dad.

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Speaker 1: As far as I'm aware, everyone at the wedding had

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Speaker 1: a wonderful time and the only tears shed were happy ones.

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Speaker 1: Oh that feels good too, cute, it feels real nice.

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Speaker 1: But do you have a little more story left? I

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Speaker 1: feel like that was handled wonderfully. They took your idea

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Speaker 1: was taken.

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Speaker 5: They totally just like got a time machine and went

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Speaker 5: back and listened to the advice.

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Speaker 1: I know that there were multiple commenters who said my

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Speaker 1: dad should be replaced as the officiate no matter what,

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Speaker 1: but I'm glad I didn't do that. After the wedding

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Speaker 1: was over, he gave me a big hug, crying because

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Speaker 1: it meant so much to him that we trusted him

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Speaker 1: to do the ceremony, and how happy it made him

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Speaker 1: to be such a big part of the wedding. It

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Speaker 1: meant a lot to my husband and I too. Moral

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Speaker 1: of the story. Sometimes it takes a few tries to

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Speaker 1: get it right, but honest and heartfelt communication between everyone

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Speaker 1: involved won the day. Here in the end, it was

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Speaker 1: a perfect wedding and I couldn't be happier with how

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Speaker 1: it turned out. And that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, A good story.

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Speaker 4: Good story.

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Speaker 1: We did have a good story. We didn't have to

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Speaker 1: shun the father, the happy story. Listen, good job. I

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Speaker 1: love and people listen and find compromise. I love it.

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Speaker 1: I'm just so right now I could run through a

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Speaker 1: brick wall. That is the end of that story.

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Speaker 4: We've got another one. We have several, we have some.

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Speaker 1: We have many stories for you to listen to today.

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Speaker 3: I feel like that hurts your voice.

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Speaker 1: You know what hurts my voice? This next story.

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Speaker 5: My sister made all of our siblings bridesmaids except.

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Speaker 1: Me because you would have been too pretty.

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Speaker 5: I thirty one female, am the oldest of five sisters,

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Speaker 5: thirty female, twenty seven female, Zoe twenty three female, and

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Speaker 5: twenty one female.

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Speaker 4: Like that, only one of them got a name.

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Speaker 1: There's only one that is relevant.

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Speaker 3: Joey, I'm scared Zoe one oh one.

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Speaker 5: Other than the usual mild sister antics, teasing, nagging, clothes stealing,

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Speaker 5: and other minor drama, we all grew up very close

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Speaker 5: by the way. This comes from Npath nineteen ninety four.

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Speaker 5: And if you want us make your own stories, go

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Speaker 5: to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 1: I'm Carly Dakota.

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Speaker 3: It takes too long.

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Speaker 1: I almost forgot forgot your name.

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Speaker 3: I thought it was you, Okay, Dakota, I'm Keon and we're.

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Speaker 5: Here to give good advice goofully, But we don't have

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Speaker 5: all the answers. We only know what we would do.

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Speaker 5: So let us know what you would do in the comments,

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Speaker 5: and Opie says my background. I joined the military and

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Speaker 5: moved away at eighteen years old when sister Zoe was

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Speaker 5: only ten years old, while stationed in Florida. I had

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Speaker 5: my son in twenty seventeen, and despite my best and

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Speaker 5: very expensive legal efforts, I have been unable to leave

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Speaker 5: the state and move home to Kentucky until my son,

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Speaker 5: eight male, turns eighteen, which will be in twenty thirty five.

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Speaker 5: I try to visit home as often as I can,

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Speaker 5: stay involved in secret Santa's birthdays, Mother's.

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Speaker 4: Days, et cetera.

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Speaker 5: I keep in touch via social media as well without

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Speaker 5: being the overly annoying big sister. My thirty female sister

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Speaker 5: was the first of us to get married back in

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Speaker 5: twenty eighteen, and although the girls under twenty one weren't

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Speaker 5: included in some of the more mature bachelorette events, all

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Speaker 5: four of us were bridesmaids for my sister, and she

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Speaker 5: had four additional bridesmaids as well, eight wedding party pairs

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Speaker 5: in total. Less than two months later, tragedy struck when

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Speaker 5: our devoted dad, husband, love of our mom's life for

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Speaker 5: over thirty years, rock of our family, and well known

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Speaker 5: number of our community, pass of a sudden, first time

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Speaker 5: heart attack as a healthy fifty three year old, no

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Speaker 5: heart disease, healthy way, no warning, passed away thinking he

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Speaker 5: had heartburn on Christmas Day. To say this event changed

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Speaker 5: each one of us to a cellular level wouldn't be

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Speaker 5: descriptive enough. We will never be the same as the

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Speaker 5: oldest sibling, and in a long term relationship of my own,

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Speaker 5: I know just how painful it is to think about

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Speaker 5: planning such a big day while navigating the dad sized

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Speaker 5: hole in our hearts, knowing he won't be there to

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Speaker 5: walk us down the aisle, calm nerves, dance with us,

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Speaker 5: and cry. At least once, he was such a cry

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Speaker 5: baby when it came to his girls. When Zoe's boyfriend

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Speaker 5: of seven years was ready.

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Speaker 4: To pop the question, he called each.

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Speaker 5: Of her sisters in lieu of my dad's presence, to

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Speaker 5: which I excitedly gave my blessing and was thrilled. On

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Speaker 5: June twenty first, twenty twenty five, he proposed. Zoe sent

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Speaker 5: me pictures and thank you for any part I'd had

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Speaker 5: in the proposal, as she knew he had reached out

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Speaker 5: to me. I gave my congratulations and fond over the

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Speaker 5: ring and pictures, and shared in her excitement with my

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Speaker 5: mom on FaceTime the day afterwards. Just a couple weeks later,

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Speaker 5: I got a text message, Hey, Dana, I want to

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Speaker 5: have a quick chat about something important. When Carter and

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Speaker 5: I started planning the wedding party, we had to keep

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Speaker 5: things really small to keep it balanced. He had five

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Speaker 5: close friends picked and I already had two people in

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Speaker 5: mind before we finalized the list. That didn't leave room

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Speaker 5: to include everyone I love and care about, and it

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Speaker 5: was such a tough decision. I hope you know how

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Speaker 5: much you mean to me and that not being a

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Speaker 5: bridesmaid doesn't change that at all. You're incredibly important to

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Speaker 5: me and I can't wait to celebrate this day with you.

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Speaker 5: I think there's an emoji there and that's the end

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Speaker 5: of that text.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think given the context that you left

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Speaker 1: when she was ten and have been able to come

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Speaker 1: back and won't be able to come back for like

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Speaker 1: another ten years. I think probably clues into why this

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Speaker 1: might be happening. I think this has been handled perfectly,

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Speaker 1: honestly by Zoe so far. That text, if I got

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Speaker 1: that text, I'm not a sibling though neither.

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Speaker 4: Of us are Hey's sibling. Boy over there, if you had.

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Speaker 5: Three brothers, I do, okay, and you were the only

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Speaker 5: one not.

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Speaker 4: To be a best man.

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Speaker 3: It depends on my relationship with my brothers, you know, if.

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Speaker 4: Like you don't live there for ten.

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Speaker 3: Years, if that makes sense, that's straight up. Like if

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Speaker 3: this is the context, like you put if I put

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Speaker 3: myself in op shoes, I got this text, great, I

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Speaker 3: feel like I'm gonna be involved in some way, Like, okay, great,

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Speaker 3: it's yours. It's again at the end of the day

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Speaker 3: their wedding. Yeah, will I be offended slightly, But like,

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Speaker 3: if I'm not home in everybody else's home and they

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Speaker 3: all have a closer relationship, that's fair.

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Speaker 5: So like I moved away, Yeah, and if one of

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Speaker 5: my friends that I was still really close with didn't like,

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Speaker 5: I would definitely still be hurt about it. So to clarify,

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Speaker 5: two friends and three of four sisters equals five bridesmaids.

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Speaker 5: I'm a pretty strong person, but I was pretty gutted.

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Speaker 5: I never imagined having my own bridal party with more

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Speaker 5: than four bridesmaids and any of my sisters not being

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Speaker 5: included relationship and closeness at the time.

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Speaker 4: Aside, if God blesses.

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Speaker 5: You with four sisters, those are your built in day

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Speaker 5: one unless there's a serious reason or toxicity. At least

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Speaker 5: to me, I was the strong one for all of

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Speaker 5: them when my dad passed, The only sister with kids

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Speaker 5: and a nephew that they adore, stood up to my

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Speaker 5: thirty female sister when she went politically extreme and was

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Speaker 5: mean to our mom last year after the election. Not

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Speaker 5: to mention, my business is doing exceptionally well, and I'd

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Speaker 5: have the means to prove a high value gift and

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Speaker 5: or help with a little of the wedding costs since

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Speaker 5: my dad can't. And I don't think that you should

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Speaker 5: withhold that because you're not a bridesmaid. If that's something

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Speaker 5: you want to do, well, I will say, like if

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Speaker 5: you're then well, if you're then gonna change how you're

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Speaker 5: participating in the wedding because you're hurt that you weren't

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Speaker 5: a bridesmaid.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, like that does being a bridesmaid or

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Speaker 1: not does tangibly change how you not for.

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Speaker 4: A participate in a wedding?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 5: I think she's still coming to all the bridesmaid's events.

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Speaker 5: I mean, we haven't gotten that is she.

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Speaker 4: I don't know. Maybe I was just thinking about what

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Speaker 4: she said before all of that.

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Speaker 5: On top of the simple fact she's my second youngest

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Speaker 5: baby sister and I love her dearly, So why shouldn't

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Speaker 5: I just attend anyway outside of the bridal party. Our

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Speaker 5: family has been in the same small town since before

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Speaker 5: Kentucky even had statehood. My dad had a successful automotive business,

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Speaker 5: which my mom still has opened, and our family is

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Speaker 5: publicly known for having five daughters.

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Speaker 1: What was that about Kentucky about the statehood?

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Speaker 5: Their family's been in Kentucky before it was a state.

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Speaker 3: They're pure Kentucky.

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Speaker 1: They're the hat Fields and come through her hat Field mccor.

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Speaker 1: We've got a family, a few boons, and before the

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Speaker 1: fifty states were fifty they did.

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Speaker 5: Without giving away our identities. We share a last name

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Speaker 5: with a famous band Blank five o Let.

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Speaker 3: Me guess Jackson Maroon. We both went two different directions there, and.

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Speaker 5: There's I know there's six of them in that it's

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Speaker 5: letters for Jackson, like there's a blank length length length R.

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Speaker 3: Well. I like how you're like, we're not gonna give

395
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Speaker 3: you away names, but let's give away our names.

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Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 5: That was a joking nickname for our little group, my

398
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,399
Speaker 5: entire childhood in that town. Our last name is pretty

399
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,520
Speaker 5: synonymous with the idea of being five daughters, and I

400
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,960
Speaker 5: genuinely feel like the speculation of leaving just one of

401
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Speaker 5: us out could potentially cause drama that could outshine the

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Speaker 5: marriage we're there to celebrate.

403
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Speaker 1: Isn't she leaving two of you out?

404
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Speaker 4: No?

405
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Speaker 1: Because I thought it was.

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Speaker 5: She has two friends, she's the one getting married, right, gotcha.

407
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Speaker 5: She's gonna be a math secret extra math extra, that's

408
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Speaker 5: the trick question on the algebra test.

409
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Speaker 4: Let's be honest.

410
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Speaker 5: Human nature loves drama and curiosity far more than happiness,

411
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Speaker 5: and I love Zoe enough to want her to have

412
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,160
Speaker 5: all the attention on.

413
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Speaker 4: Her that day.

414
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Speaker 5: It would be perfectly feasible for me to blame my

415
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 5: co parenting schedule, travel plans of over one thousand miles

416
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,760
Speaker 5: or anything else as a perfect excuse to not attend

417
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Speaker 5: and avoid the drama for the both of.

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Speaker 1: Us that you not attending would be more dramatic.

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Speaker 4: Right, that would also cause drama.

420
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Speaker 5: Come on, really, we're like taking this way too far.

421
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Speaker 1: Just go to the wedding.

422
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Speaker 5: My mom also mentioned she also will be having one

423
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Speaker 5: of our cousin's little boys acting as her ring bearer

424
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Speaker 5: instead of her only nephew.

425
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Speaker 4: While I get it toddler's.

426
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 5: Are cuter than eight year olds, he was the ring

427
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:37,880
Speaker 5: bearer for thirty female sister's wedding in twenty eighteen. And

428
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 5: we need to forget everything that happened with somebody else's

429
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Speaker 5: wedding because this is a new wedding.

430
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Speaker 1: This is a different time, in a different event, a

431
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Speaker 1: different place.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Again, at the end of the day, it's their wedding.

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Speaker 5: I get it she's hurt, but I don't think not

434
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Speaker 5: going is the.

435
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:58,119
Speaker 1: Correct mem Yeah, And I don't think you even really

436
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 1: believe that whole Like, oh, well, it's like we're the

437
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:04,200
Speaker 1: Jackson five, Like we there need to be five sisters

438
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 1: because it's where from where, that's who we are. You've

439
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 1: been gone for a long time, right, right.

440
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:14,800
Speaker 5: Have been the five, right, you haven't been.

441
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 1: There, you know, so it's not like that really holds

442
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,560
Speaker 1: any water. I mean, like, would it be that big

443
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,879
Speaker 1: of a deal for you to have six bridesmaids and

444
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,679
Speaker 1: for him to have five groomsmen?

445
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 5: Like some people are very particular about that. I don't

446
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:29,160
Speaker 5: get it, but some.

447
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 3: People are, Wait, did OPI ever respond to that text?

448
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:33,600
Speaker 5: We didn't get a response.

449
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,360
Speaker 3: See that's okay, that's I think this is.

450
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 4: All still reaction from the text.

451
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 3: Because that text was pretty straightforward, but also like I

452
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,479
Speaker 3: can see it being very heartfelt that the text at

453
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,240
Speaker 3: the sister's said like, hey, I love you so much.

454
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:47,879
Speaker 3: I think I want you to be a part of this.

455
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:51,400
Speaker 3: I just have five and you were in my fave five.

456
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 5: It also even maybe like a phone call or something

457
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,240
Speaker 5: a little more sincere, like I could get being like

458
00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 5: I did feel really upset in the moment.

459
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 4: This is to me now in overreactions.

460
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 5: My mom's explanation was, well, she's babysat for them a

461
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:09,440
Speaker 5: lot over the years, but I'm still shocked neither one

462
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 5: of us will be part of her wedding party. I

463
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,919
Speaker 5: am trying so hard to not take this personally, but

464
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 5: I don't know why she would do this if there

465
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 5: wasn't some intention. Weddings with one hundred and thirty guests

466
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,880
Speaker 5: have five plus wedding party couple pairs quite often, and

467
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:30,200
Speaker 5: the difference between five and six bridesmaids standing room is minimal.

468
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 5: Anytime I've been a bridesmaid, I've purchased my own dress, accessories,

469
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 5: transportation to events, which, since I was never local, was

470
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 5: usually only an expense for me, and I do my

471
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,760
Speaker 5: own hair and makeup. She also stated that Carter had

472
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 5: chosen five close friends.

473
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 2: My guess is Carter.

474
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:51,040
Speaker 5: Doesn't have another friend, but he didn't have one acquaintance

475
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,080
Speaker 5: that could be a six groomsman. If eight year old

476
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 5: nephew is too cool to be a ring bearer, he

477
00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 5: could have been my escort and groomsmen.

478
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 3: You know what, I'm getting a lot from MISSOI I'm

479
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,920
Speaker 3: getting a lot of me, me, me, me me. And

480
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 3: I'm not saying you're a selfish person. But all I've

481
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 3: been hearing is I I I I.

482
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 1: I think this all goes back to their dad. Yeah,

483
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 1: you know, and then like the feeling of like being

484
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,440
Speaker 1: a unit. They said that they were there for everybody

485
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 1: when that happened.

486
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,920
Speaker 5: I wonder if OP could like walk her down the

487
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 5: aisle then, or something like. I feel like said she

488
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 5: filled in that dad role.

489
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,359
Speaker 4: I have a feeling their mom probably is.

490
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,440
Speaker 3: I feel like you need to respond to this text

491
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,640
Speaker 3: and be like, Okay, I'm not gonna lie. I am

492
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 3: a little hurt, but this is your wedding. I love you.

493
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 3: I'm happy to be there for you. If there's anything

494
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:39,360
Speaker 3: you need me to do or want me to do,

495
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:43,000
Speaker 3: I'll be here. Kind of thing. Yeah, don't anything else.

496
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,920
Speaker 4: Go to the freaking wedding. Don't not go because you're

497
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:46,880
Speaker 4: not a bridesmaid.

498
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:51,160
Speaker 5: That's hetty My mom mentioned she was surprised that Zoe

499
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 5: asked thirty female sisters since they aren't that close but

500
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:55,399
Speaker 5: closer than me.

501
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,360
Speaker 4: But to be honest, if.

502
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 5: Both of her older sisters were left out, I think

503
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 5: that that would look less intentional since we are substantially

504
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 5: older than her. As much as I love Zoe and

505
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:09,160
Speaker 5: would love to be included, I don't feel uncomfortable not

506
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 5: being a bridesmaid. I feel uncomfortable being the only sister

507
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:13,680
Speaker 5: who isn't.

508
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,119
Speaker 4: And the optics from that.

509
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 1: Bro, so you're worried about optics, Bro, gross.

510
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:24,440
Speaker 3: I'm saying she thinks it's like a deep thing. Maybe

511
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 3: it is a deep thing, but I think you're just

512
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,639
Speaker 3: like you're reading in between the lines. You haven't been

513
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 3: home for ten years. Your relationship with this sister isn't

514
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 3: as strong.

515
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 1: Dude, you just don't get it. When you're part of

516
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 1: the Maroon family, five of you must be present. When

517
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 1: you're a Marooner, it's a you're I got nothing at

518
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:49,679
Speaker 1: rhymes with that help me, Adam Levine help.

519
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 4: Final thought, A great thought.

520
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 1: Well pardoned me for collecting myself in the midst of

521
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 1: the Maroon five to.

522
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 4: Figure out because you guys are still making jokes.

523
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 3: You know, you're still trying to figure out.

524
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 4: You guys were still trying to rhyme.

525
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 1: I was never trying to rhyme. I know your thanks, Kat,

526
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 1: but blue figure out what the what the real solution

527
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:15,399
Speaker 1: here is.

528
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like it's not wrong to be like, hey,

529
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:24,080
Speaker 5: I'm pretty hurt that, like I'm the only one that's not.

530
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,400
Speaker 5: But I get it, and I'll be there and I'll

531
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,399
Speaker 5: support you and let me know what you need. I

532
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 5: think you still have to go to the wedding, and

533
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,879
Speaker 5: I think that ultimately, like it is her wedding and

534
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 5: it might really really hurt and you guys can still

535
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 5: have a conversation to work out at her, which I

536
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 5: think should happen. But if she doesn't want you to

537
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,119
Speaker 5: be a bridesmaid, you can't be. Like, if I'm not

538
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:43,359
Speaker 5: a bridesmaid, I'm not coming.

539
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 3: I think again, I have a conversation with your sister,

540
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,119
Speaker 3: telling her like how you feel, but don't tell her

541
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 3: what you're your wants and your needs of like I

542
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 3: think I should be do this or this, you should

543
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 3: do this. It's just like, Hey, I feel like I'm

544
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 3: left out and like I'm a little hurt that everyone

545
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 3: else is included but me. Could I be involved a

546
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 3: little bit more because I love ya and we're family.

547
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 1: Eat.

548
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 5: I know I need to reply to Zoe's text, but

549
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,159
Speaker 5: I don't even know where to start. Yep, I was

550
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 5: so shocked that she's been left on red for a week,

551
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 5: girly pop.

552
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 4: I know I'm the ahole for that.

553
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 5: So should I bail altogether and avoid the risk of

554
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 5: drama or do I attend and let Zoe's chips fall

555
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 5: where they may. I have zero intention of causing a

556
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 5: scene or even speaking about this at any of the events.

557
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 5: But knowing our loud friends and family, and how well

558
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 5: known I am as the oldest, I don't think I'll

559
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 5: have to It will be noticed regardless. Thanks for reading

560
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:43,199
Speaker 5: in advance. We have some comments. Commenter one, why not

561
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:45,919
Speaker 5: tell her the truth that you feel incredibly hurt by

562
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:47,919
Speaker 5: her decision to leave you out of the wedding party?

563
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 5: Commenter two. If you are hurt and don't want to

564
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,919
Speaker 5: attend because of that, that's fine, but don't choose not

565
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,919
Speaker 5: to attend and pretend it's because you're trying to prevent

566
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,400
Speaker 5: drama when in.

567
00:27:58,320 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 4: Fact you're bringing it.

568
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 5: So I say, if you want to be there, go

569
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 5: and let the chips fall. If you don't want to

570
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 5: be there because you're hurt, then don't go, but don't

571
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 5: pretend it's because you're doing something good. Commenter three. If

572
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 5: not going is truly about the optics, you can use

573
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 5: the same reason for attending as a guest as for

574
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 5: not attending at all. You weren't sure how travel plans

575
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 5: were going to work with your co parenting schedule, and

576
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,119
Speaker 5: didn't want to leave Zoe in the lurch, so you

577
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 5: thought it was a better idea to attend as a

578
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,720
Speaker 5: guest commenter, so smart, big But then.

579
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 1: It's you're just a liar. You're just being a liar.

580
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 1: But I don't.

581
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 5: Understand saying that you're not going to go because of

582
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:41,960
Speaker 5: travel is still lying.

583
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 1: Big shot, small town family optics are so out of

584
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 1: my purview of knowledge or what my purview.

585
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 5: All right, if it is about hurt feelings, only you

586
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 5: can decide if they are worth.

587
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 4: Missing your sister's wedding for.

588
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,040
Speaker 5: As you said, you love her, and that is a

589
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 5: decision you won't be able to take back. And while

590
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 5: it may not cause community drama, it will cause family drama.

591
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 5: I'm under four tell her the truth that you love

592
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 5: her and we're excited to support her through her wedding,

593
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 5: But this decision is extremely hurtful and has you questioning

594
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:23,320
Speaker 5: your relationship. My unpopular opinion is that it's naive to

595
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 5: have the attitude that the bride can do whatever she

596
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 5: wants without consequences. Weddings do involve family dynamics, and it's

597
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 5: incredibly cruel to single out one sister for the sake

598
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 5: of an even bridal party. Yes she can leave you out,

599
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 5: and yes you can tell her how you feel. Ultimately,

600
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 5: you two need to have that discussion before you make

601
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 5: any declaration about attending or not.

602
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 4: And that is the end of that story.

603
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 1: Discussions must be had.

604
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think answer your sister, it's been a week.

605
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, at that point, she already knows something's wrong.

606
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 5: Right, And I'm sure if your family talks as much

607
00:29:57,320 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 5: as you're saying, your momammediately went to your sister.

608
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 1: And this is not a secret anymore. I doubt this is.

609
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 4: But I think you should still go, even if you're

610
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 4: a guest.

611
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:11,200
Speaker 5: And I think the commenter's advice of being like, yeah, like,

612
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 5: it really just wasn't gonna work out with not knowing

613
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 5: if I would one be here or not, So I

614
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 5: I'm just gonna be a guest.

615
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 1: Why can't that just be the solution. Just be the

616
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 1: guest present, be the guest, joy, be the guest, be

617
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 1: her guests.

618
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 5: The end of that story, And we have another one

619
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 5: coming up.

620
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,959
Speaker 1: My best friend shamed me in front of everyone at

621
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: her engagement party.

622
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 2: You should be ashamed of yourself.

623
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 1: I love how that kind of felt like you were

624
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 1: talking to Ope. They have enough shame already. Honestly, this

625
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 1: happened almost a decade ago. A friend fall out around

626
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 1: her wedding festivities. My best friend from high school. We'd

627
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 1: known each other since fourteen and were inseparable. People would

628
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,400
Speaker 1: ask us where the other person was when we ever

629
00:30:57,520 --> 00:31:00,040
Speaker 1: happened to be alone. We would fall asleep on the

630
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 1: phone after school talking to each other.

631
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 4: Are y'all in love with each other?

632
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 1: Maybe y'all were codependent codependent brit chet so well, maybe

633
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 1: you guys were just like freaking cutie little pies.

634
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 2: Let's find out.

635
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 1: Well. By the way, this comes from, use your air

636
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 1: bubble one nine four and if you want to submit

637
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 1: your own stories, go to the our slash showcase storytime

638
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 1: suburn it. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia.

639
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 5: I'm about to be key on, and we.

640
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 1: Are about to give you good advice goofully hopefully. But

641
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 1: we don't have all the answers. We only know what

642
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 1: we would do. So if you would do something different,

643
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,480
Speaker 1: let us know when the comments and op says. We

644
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 1: went to university and already there she started not being

645
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 1: the greatest friend. She would isolate herself with her boyfriend

646
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 1: despite us living together.

647
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 2: Basically, well, did you basically live together or did you

648
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 2: live together? This is a two different things.

649
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 1: I feel like y'all were codependent, and now she's about

650
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 1: to get codependent with her boyfriend, and you're not gonna

651
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 1: like it. That's my thought.

652
00:31:57,920 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, people change.

653
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 1: It's fine if we're not as tight anymore. But I

654
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 1: made an effort. After a couple of times, I was

655
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: fed up and let her know, and things went on

656
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 1: fairly civil, no fallout or anything, and then she decided

657
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: to marry her boyfriend. We have skipped a lot of

658
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 1: times today, or that.

659
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 2: Happened in a very small amount of time. That's quick.

660
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 1: We either just skipped over a lot of background, or

661
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 1: she's not focusing on her studies.

662
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 2: I think that might be.

663
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: She is busy studying the human body. Ooh, she's gonna

664
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 1: be a doctor. They first threw this huge engagement party.

665
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 1: The party was abroad. What was her name, and basically

666
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 1: a wedding, and it was her name and culturally a

667
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 1: bit expected. We were probably twenty four to twenty six.

668
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 1: Me and our other close high school friend joined her

669
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 1: happily for this event. She looked super beautiful. The party

670
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:57,120
Speaker 1: was a success, albeit stressful handling family and everything. And

671
00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 1: after that we went on holiday together fiance, her, her brother,

672
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 1: and the two of us we're all in a similar

673
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 1: age group, and we're traveling together. On night one, she

674
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 1: said some really terrible things to me and about me,

675
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: basically slute shaming me. I was in a committed, long

676
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 1: term relationship at the time. I albeit extremely sad because

677
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: it looked like it was going to end. Fun fact,

678
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 1: he was also the first man I had ever done

679
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 1: the horizontal tango with, so not very much sleutiness going on. Generally.

680
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 1: She tried to say it jokingly, everyone at the table

681
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 1: realized the tone was far from joking. What are we

682
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 1: sure though?

683
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 3: Are you sure?

684
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: Because you couldn't be that Yeah, huh given what was said.

685
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 2: Maybe she's just like super religious and just the fact

686
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:53,479
Speaker 2: that OPI has slept with anyone is too far for her.

687
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 2: I don't know.

688
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 1: She's just like at the EVENU, she's like, Yeah, isn't

689
00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 1: it funny how like you're here even though you're just

690
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 1: it's like a dirty little mongrel of a person for

691
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 1: having slept with your boyfriend. Yeah, and you guys are

692
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 1: going to break up anyway, so it's like you defiled

693
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:14,439
Speaker 1: yourself for no reason. Yeah.

694
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 2: I think it was that pregnant.

695
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 1: Pause. We're from a rather conservative culture, so I wasn't

696
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:26,840
Speaker 1: going to disclose anything from my dating life or defend

697
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:30,280
Speaker 1: myself on the matter. It was like cricket level silence,

698
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 1: which is, you know, technically crickets are pretty loud, pretty loud. Yeah,

699
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:40,879
Speaker 1: have you ever heard of cricket? Yes, a loud of yeah,

700
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:46,920
Speaker 1: I bet you have. Oh wait, what is that? Wait?

701
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 1: What is that? I've never heard that noise before. Everyone

702
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 1: looking at how I handled it, which was basically to

703
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 1: look at her in shock and say nothing really, just

704
00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 1: an okay, noted or some thing like that. I'm known

705
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 1: to be a very hurt ice queen when someone goes

706
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 1: too far, but she's going to do it.

707
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 2: Put a little elsa, she makes frozen castles.

708
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:12,440
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

709
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. Honestly,

710
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 1: there was nothing I could say. I was just so

711
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,719
Speaker 1: shocked at what came out of her mouth that she

712
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:23,399
Speaker 1: would a think that or be say that in front

713
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 1: of people I didn't know super well, like her brother

714
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,400
Speaker 1: and fiance. It felt like she just wanted to somehow

715
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,439
Speaker 1: put me down, and she knew I couldn't say much

716
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 1: to that. It was so out of the blue. I

717
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:37,879
Speaker 1: was extremely hurt and could not understand why she would

718
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,399
Speaker 1: do something like that after all the support we gave

719
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,719
Speaker 1: for the engagement. We didn't speak for the rest of

720
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 1: the holiday. I'm also hung up really quickly on like.

721
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:48,839
Speaker 2: How tell me what do you hung up?

722
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 1: How do you not know her fiance at all? Did

723
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 1: she keep him from you or did you keep yourself

724
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 1: from them?

725
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 2: I think it happened pretty quickly.

726
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,399
Speaker 1: I think it's like twenty six Now, Oh, I don't know.

727
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 2: That's interesting. Maybe they were spending all of their time

728
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 2: together in college and not really including I just wonder.

729
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:08,799
Speaker 1: If it was like a they spent time together and

730
00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:11,240
Speaker 1: then OP was like, oh, well that means I can't

731
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:13,919
Speaker 1: or if it was they spent time together and then

732
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 1: they were like, well, we have no room for you.

733
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 2: I think it might have been that, because I feel

734
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:20,919
Speaker 2: like there's a pretty I mean, like, unless oh, he's

735
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 2: just not reading it right. I think there's a it's

736
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:27,080
Speaker 2: pretty clear when like partners don't want you there or

737
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 2: are actively excluding you.

738
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm getting the opposite end of that.

739
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 1: I'm reading it as like, well, she was mine, she

740
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 1: was mine first, and now I can't even see this

741
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,680
Speaker 1: girl anymore, Like it sickens me to hang out with

742
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 1: you and know that you're so close with your boyfriend. Yeah,

743
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 1: and it's like, hello, you could be the third wheel.

744
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:53,399
Speaker 1: It's adorable. Sometimes I had to hold back tears every

745
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:56,800
Speaker 1: time I couldn't look at her. Her fiance was trying

746
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 1: to smooth it out somehow, or let's say everyone somehow.

747
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,360
Speaker 1: My other friend also said she didn't understand and that

748
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 1: we needed to talk, that she understood her way of

749
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:10,400
Speaker 1: behaving too, but I didn't know what there was to understand,

750
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 1: and at this point, for once, I wasn't willing to

751
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 1: put the effort in anymore. An apology and conversation were due,

752
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 1: but nothing was coming from me anymore. There was build

753
00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 1: up in the friendship issues. I kept asking my other

754
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 1: friend if I did something wrong Unknowingly. I tried to

755
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:30,400
Speaker 1: help her family so much and was running around like

756
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:34,200
Speaker 1: crazy to get things done. She was basically like my sister.

757
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 1: There was a half bootied comment about how I was

758
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 1: maybe trying to put the moves on her brother, which

759
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 1: honestly is absurd. Whenever someone would say it out loud,

760
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 1: they knew how crazy that was and sounded as a hypothesis,

761
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 1: but it was the only one that maybe would prompt

762
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 1: such behavior if she was actually thinking that her brother

763
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 1: is younger, not my type at all, and I consider

764
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 1: him extended family. As I said, I was in a

765
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,319
Speaker 1: very committed relationship at the time. Ten years later, this

766
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:08,399
Speaker 1: is still one of the most absurd things I've ever heard.

767
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,760
Speaker 1: Fast forward and we go back home and basically stop

768
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 1: speaking for good. She was used to me solving problems,

769
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 1: but I was done doing that for her. It was

770
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 1: so hurtful, and it took me a whole year to

771
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,880
Speaker 1: get over the fact that a lifelong friendship would just

772
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 1: go like that. She knew as well how bad I

773
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:29,280
Speaker 1: was doing mentally with my relationship. He had moved abroad

774
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:33,719
Speaker 1: what's her name? First, big love, overall sad story. Our

775
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 1: friends around tried to salvage it, but I stayed put

776
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 1: that I was not the one to solve this. I

777
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 1: was clearly attacked and had been the bigger person before,

778
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 1: but not anymore. I was open for a call from

779
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 1: her always to explain what on earth had happened. That

780
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 1: was obviously only the engagement. They married two years later,

781
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 1: and I was set on not going. However, hurtful. That

782
00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:00,319
Speaker 1: was to not see my best friend get married. She's

783
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 1: not your best friend anymore.

784
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she's still got that history. Whitney Anderson says

785
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:09,319
Speaker 2: what I'm thinking, which she says not her type, because

786
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 2: Opie is in lure with a friend. That's what I'm thinking.

787
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,239
Speaker 2: It feels like so coindependent that they've you know, they

788
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 2: had this really close relationship to the point where it

789
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 2: like it's like this almost actual, like romantic relationship.

790
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 1: We're shipping them, huh a little bit. They're getting a

791
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:25,960
Speaker 1: little bit.

792
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,560
Speaker 2: But but but it's so toxic because she goes to

793
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 2: college starts stating this other guy, Oh, he's jealous. She's like,

794
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 2: I don't have this person anymore. I don't know why

795
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 2: I have these angry feelings. And then her friend is

796
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 2: upset because she's like, well, you're in a relationship. This

797
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 2: is total conjecture.

798
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 1: I am building a storyline.

799
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're in a relationship, so I'm gonna like put

800
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 2: you DAGs. I don't I'm jealous of your relationship. And

801
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:52,799
Speaker 2: then oh, he's like, whoa, I've just been attacked and

802
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 2: you're getting into the relationship so fast. That's what I'm thinking.

803
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,320
Speaker 2: It all blew up in their faces.

804
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 1: I think that that makes more sense than all of

805
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:04,040
Speaker 1: this happening over like one out of pocket thing that

806
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 1: was said.

807
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 5: Yeah.

808
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 2: No, I think it's like this culmination of their jealousy

809
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:10,799
Speaker 2: about their relationships, regardless of whether it's romantic or not.

810
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 2: I think they're both equally like jealous of these relationships

811
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,719
Speaker 2: taking them away from each other hm, and so they're

812
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:17,319
Speaker 2: lashing out.

813
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,359
Speaker 1: So Opie's like, I'm not going at a wedding, even

814
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 1: though it's gonna hurt not to see my best friend

815
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:25,359
Speaker 1: get married. How could I go if she somehow thought

816
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 1: I'd hit on family or say things like that about me.

817
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 1: I didn't hear from her, even though multiple friends reached

818
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 1: out to her, telling me her how bad it was

819
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:35,840
Speaker 1: to let our friendship wither away like this. One and

820
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,920
Speaker 1: a half years later, she sent me a long text

821
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 1: message on my birthday saying how she didn't know how

822
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 1: things have gone so far, and that we didn't speak

823
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,280
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. I was surprised.

824
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 1: For a year, I'd been waiting for this, but I

825
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 1: had cried every tear I had in me already and

826
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 1: read the text I was obviously open to have the

827
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:57,319
Speaker 1: conversation with her, but trust was broken beyond repair. If

828
00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 1: I didn't get any insight or closure, stop you going

829
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 1: radio silent? Also for this long while having all these

830
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 1: mixed feelings and wanting all of these things to be said,

831
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:07,879
Speaker 1: means this is also your fault.

832
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:09,879
Speaker 2: Well yeah, because he's like, oh, well, I'm not gonna

833
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 2: say anything because I always fix it. And it's like,

834
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,839
Speaker 2: if you have all of these emotions and stuff, Yeah,

835
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 2: it sucks that she's not trying to build that bridge,

836
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:22,680
Speaker 2: but if you have all this unresolved anger and frustration

837
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 2: and stuff, I think, just say it, and then after

838
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 2: you say it, then you can decide. You know, this

839
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,920
Speaker 2: isn't a relationship or a friendship that I can continue. Yeah,

840
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 2: but like, don't let it fester. You're just having like

841
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 2: shower conversations for years. Yeah, just have real conversations with people.

842
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:41,239
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

843
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 1: I went to meet her and she showed up in

844
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 1: full tears, balling. I was honestly worried if everything was

845
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:51,439
Speaker 1: all right. I've had many tragedies happen in my life,

846
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 1: and I immediately asked if everyone was healthy and alive,

847
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:58,120
Speaker 1: which they were. We had the conversation, and she said

848
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:01,400
Speaker 1: she didn't know what happened or why she said those things. No,

849
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 1: she would never think I would put the moves on

850
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 1: a brother. She basically just didn't give me an answer,

851
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 1: no insight, no logic, no emotional build up. You know,

852
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,479
Speaker 1: those circumstances where you might say not so nice things

853
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,960
Speaker 1: you don't mean that somehow you can give a pass.

854
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 1: I asked her why now, that this was so hurtful,

855
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 1: and that I expected at least some answer on what

856
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,400
Speaker 1: was going on, and I just got nothing. Well, Opie,

857
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 1: you certainly waited a long time. It might not be

858
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:30,480
Speaker 1: as crystal clear anymore when it's been like three and

859
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:31,320
Speaker 1: a half years.

860
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:34,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, because at that point she might not even really

861
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 2: understand why she's so upset. She's like, I don't even remember, honestly.

862
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 1: Just the fact that she could go so long without

863
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,880
Speaker 1: clearing the issue said a lot about where we stood.

864
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,440
Speaker 1: But you can say that about you as well.

865
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:46,720
Speaker 2: Yeah.

866
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 1: Then she basically went on about how alone she felt

867
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 1: and how she realized she had no friends outside of

868
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:55,279
Speaker 1: her fiance and that relationship was going badly because of

869
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 1: her upcoming wedding and mother in law drama. And boom,

870
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 1: she was calling me because of her, not because of me.

871
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:05,760
Speaker 1: I was automatically taken aback. Just feel like you didn't

872
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 1: want this to get better? Yeah, she said she couldn't

873
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,920
Speaker 1: imagine not having me there, etc. And I said I

874
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:15,320
Speaker 1: didn't feel comfortable even thinking of going if any rumors

875
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 1: about my integrity would be on the table. She had

876
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 1: known me for so long and she knew that was

877
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,240
Speaker 1: something I would never compromise. I would never feel comfortable

878
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 1: being around her family and fiance if she thought I

879
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 1: was that type of person. And she assured me that

880
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:31,239
Speaker 1: wasn't the case. Blah blah blah, blah blah. We had

881
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 1: a long history, so I wasn't throwing it out immediately.

882
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 1: You already did, You already did do that. I went

883
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:40,120
Speaker 1: to the wedding and did feel uncomfortable. I was very

884
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:43,120
Speaker 1: happy for them and touched, but I stayed very reserved,

885
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 1: even though I was very torn inside and reminded of

886
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:49,799
Speaker 1: everything surrounding the first time around. I wasn't going all

887
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 1: out and running around. You wouldn't know from the outside

888
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: because I still was helpful checking wedding decor, hair makeup,

889
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,360
Speaker 1: bringing all the stuff, but not how I used to be.

890
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 1: Always wondered if it had something to do with jealousy.

891
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:05,839
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, you're right that you're right that.

892
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 1: But it's your jealousy.

893
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 2: You're both jealous of each other.

894
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 1: It was the only thing that made sense somehow. We

895
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:14,560
Speaker 1: are quite different in appearance, but I'd say both attractive

896
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:17,280
Speaker 1: in our own rights. One is tall, one is short,

897
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 1: one is blond and curly, one brunette, both slender, Just

898
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:21,600
Speaker 1: different types of women, do.

899
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:27,879
Speaker 4: All right, loud and.

900
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 1: I was right, yawsa, I was right the first time.

901
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 1: But reading this thread somehow makes me realize that people

902
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 1: just go crazy on their wedding days and have major

903
00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 1: problems with attention not being where they want it to be.

904
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:42,759
Speaker 1: But that is that we have a little bit more

905
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 1: story left. Do we have anything else to say?

906
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,759
Speaker 2: I think that you are I think that you're read about.

907
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:51,800
Speaker 2: Jealousy is right. You guys are jealous of each other's

908
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 2: relationships because you no longer have this close friendship that

909
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:58,920
Speaker 2: you've grown up with, and you have all these unresolved

910
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 2: feelings about your friendship that neither one of you are

911
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 2: willing to take that first step. And he's like, well,

912
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:07,120
Speaker 2: I've done it all the time, which may or may

913
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:09,759
Speaker 2: not be true, but doesn't you know, negate the fact

914
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:12,080
Speaker 2: that someone's got to do it if you want to

915
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 2: have any resolution in this friendship. But yeah, I don't

916
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:17,279
Speaker 2: think either of you are willing to do that, and

917
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:19,839
Speaker 2: you just kind of want to complain about it, which

918
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:20,640
Speaker 2: doesn't do anything.

919
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:23,319
Speaker 1: But it's like, my feelings are over here hurt and

920
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 1: she doesn't care.

921
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 2: At the end of the day, if you have hurt

922
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:29,840
Speaker 2: feelings and you want to complain about them, the only

923
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 2: way to fix it is to talk to the person

924
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:32,680
Speaker 2: about them.

925
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 1: And she clearly yeah, because when she showed up, she

926
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,920
Speaker 1: was like crying and being like, oh, this happened, And

927
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,759
Speaker 1: you're like, you don't know how this happened. How am

928
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,239
Speaker 1: I supposed to forgive you? Yeah, if you don't know

929
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 1: why you said what you said.

930
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 2: I think that you guys just need to talk about it,

931
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:54,439
Speaker 2: express your feelings. And then if you're like, you know what,

932
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 2: I haven't seen any change from her. I don't see

933
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 2: this friendship getting better or improving. That's it. But I've

934
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 2: expressed my feelings, then you can leave it behind. And

935
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,320
Speaker 2: that's like in the past, right, at least you've expressed

936
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:07,880
Speaker 2: something that's my thought.

937
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 1: And we've got a little bit more story left.

938
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 3: Oh boy, hey John Ogi, hoist here.

939
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick

940
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,600
Speaker 1: three minute break of ads from a sponsor's keeping the

941
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:20,440
Speaker 1: show alive. We never fully recovered from how she was

942
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:23,240
Speaker 1: as a bride. We stay in touch, keep up about

943
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 1: major life events, very rare occasional visits, and wish each

944
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 1: other well. I got married in a small courthouse wedding,

945
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:32,920
Speaker 1: very laid back. She attended and was very touched, and

946
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:35,880
Speaker 1: I'm happy to know that it didn't pass away fully

947
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 1: our friendship. But having been a bride, it would just

948
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 1: never occur to me to be like that. I had

949
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 1: no dress code and I would have not even cared

950
00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 1: if someone would have just showed up in white. I

951
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 1: could not understand what happened back then, But reading these threads,

952
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 1: that's maybe it. So do you guys think she might

953
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:57,760
Speaker 1: have just been a bridezilla? Maybe there are comments.

954
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 2: No, I don't think it was just that though, like

955
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:02,319
Speaker 2: maybe the stress of the wedding got to her, but

956
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:03,879
Speaker 2: I think those feelings were already there.

957
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:07,280
Speaker 1: How are you describing like I did something a certain

958
00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:11,800
Speaker 1: way and someone else did something a different way. H M.

959
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:16,120
Speaker 1: Does that mean that we can't ever be friends again? Like,

960
00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 1: I don't know.

961
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 2: I think OPI is saying, like, oh, did she react

962
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:23,279
Speaker 2: poorly because she was a bride? I never had that

963
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:24,840
Speaker 2: you know, level of stress.

964
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 1: But she wasn't a bribe the whole time, you know

965
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:30,120
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. No, you already had. She already had problems.

966
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:32,440
Speaker 2: But that's my point before that's my point. I think

967
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:34,520
Speaker 2: OPI is boiling it down too simply.

968
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,719
Speaker 1: And we have some comments. Comment one, you're better than

969
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 1: me for going to the wedding. Comment to I'm thinking

970
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:44,720
Speaker 1: she was likely projecting, Opie says, Actually, that might also

971
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:46,880
Speaker 1: be true. I was about to tell you she doesn't

972
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,760
Speaker 1: fit the description she gave me either, But she did

973
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 1: maybe things that were in the gray zone that are

974
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:54,719
Speaker 1: not really cheating, but would make a partner and not

975
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,280
Speaker 1: feel great. And that was the end of that story.

976
00:47:57,280 --> 00:48:00,720
Speaker 1: You're gonna leave us on the mean, maybe she cheated

977
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 1: on her fiance.

978
00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:02,359
Speaker 4: What does that mean?

979
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:04,600
Speaker 1: What does that mean?

980
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 2: But we got another story, Yes we do. My husband's

981
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 2: coworkers told him to divorce me.

982
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:13,640
Speaker 1: Maybe they have a crush on him.

983
00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 2: And this comes directly from the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

984
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 2: My husband male thirty six and I female, twenty eight

985
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:25,439
Speaker 2: have been together for a decade okay, doing some math

986
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,320
Speaker 2: and finally tie the knot at the end of August

987
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 2: this year. For background, my husband is a deputy and

988
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:34,280
Speaker 2: moved to another city for work two years before a wedding.

989
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from leg Gal and if

990
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 2: you want to spend your own stories, go to the

991
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:39,880
Speaker 2: r slash okay storytime subred it.

992
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,960
Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon.

993
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:44,759
Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofly, but we

994
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:47,279
Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

995
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do in the comments.

996
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 2: What was the myth that Opi was eighteen? He was

997
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,880
Speaker 2: twenty six when they got together. Opie says, because his

998
00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:59,480
Speaker 2: job isn't like working at a regular office, I've literally

999
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:03,720
Speaker 2: never that any of his coworkers, no visits, no parties, nothing.

1000
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 2: He invited about ten coworkers and their plus ones, average

1001
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:10,360
Speaker 2: age around twenty five. But I was meeting them for

1002
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:12,640
Speaker 2: the very first time on our wedding day.

1003
00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 1: Wow.

1004
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 2: So we're at the head table during the reception and

1005
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:19,080
Speaker 2: four of his coworkers come up. I don't say Hi,

1006
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 2: don't congratulate me, not even nice to meet you. Instead,

1007
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 2: they have two shots. Give one to my husband and

1008
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 2: the other to his best man. Nothing for me, nothing

1009
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 2: for my maid of honor. My husband, to his credit, joked,

1010
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 2: I'm not drinking if you don't give one to my wife.

1011
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:36,840
Speaker 1: That's not a joke.

1012
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 2: Though, that's not a joke, and he goes, I'm not kidding,

1013
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:40,879
Speaker 2: and he.

1014
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 1: Goes, so give her one because I.

1015
00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:46,439
Speaker 2: Won't give her a drink, which made me feel slightly better,

1016
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 2: but honestly, I was pretty annoyed. Later during the dancing,

1017
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 2: one coworker and his girlfriend started grinding and literally making

1018
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 2: the dance floor look like a spicy club. Hands on

1019
00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:58,480
Speaker 2: the floor, butt.

1020
00:49:58,440 --> 00:50:01,800
Speaker 1: Up, paysl you need hay's on your knees.

1021
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:05,360
Speaker 2: We're both from traditional backgrounds. I'm Middle Eastern, he's Indian.

1022
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:08,839
Speaker 2: So this shocked our family and friends. My husband asked

1023
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 2: them to knock it off, so did another guy, but

1024
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:14,320
Speaker 2: they didn't listen. But they're like, hey.

1025
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:17,800
Speaker 1: Stop, and they're like oh, They're like, oh no way,

1026
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,040
Speaker 1: Oh you want us to stop? Pop pap pap Po

1027
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:23,879
Speaker 1: Po po Po Po po.

1028
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:27,440
Speaker 2: I finally sent my maid of honor and then they stopped.

1029
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,400
Speaker 2: People still ask us about the couple from the wedding

1030
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:33,480
Speaker 2: because it was such a spectacle. My dad asked about

1031
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 2: them on the wedding night, my mother in law the

1032
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 2: next day, so embarrassing. Not a single coworker came up

1033
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:42,759
Speaker 2: to me the whole night to introduce themselves or congratulate me.

1034
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:45,279
Speaker 2: A week after the wedding, I told my husband that

1035
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:48,879
Speaker 2: starting our marriage off right means rethinking friendships with men

1036
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:52,439
Speaker 2: who can't respect his wife. Fast forward, at an event

1037
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,880
Speaker 2: a month later, my husband asked if I wanted to

1038
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 2: go with him to hang out with these same coworkers.

1039
00:50:57,560 --> 00:50:58,280
Speaker 4: That's wild.

1040
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 2: You were like, hey, maybe you should rethink your friendships

1041
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:04,520
Speaker 2: with these people. And he was like, uh huh. A

1042
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:06,399
Speaker 2: month later, do you want to hang out with them?

1043
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:06,719
Speaker 3: No?

1044
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 2: Trying out these people.

1045
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 1: I think especially will be in law enforcement, Like there

1046
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:15,760
Speaker 1: is definitely a lot going on with the culture that

1047
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:20,920
Speaker 1: you know, uh, people within the same precinctive department that

1048
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:24,359
Speaker 1: kind of gotta be you gotta be cool with him

1049
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:27,240
Speaker 1: or you you know, it just becomesable.

1050
00:51:27,320 --> 00:51:29,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I see you're saying. At first, I agreed,

1051
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 2: then realized I couldn't fake being nice after how I

1052
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 2: was treated. I bowed out and my husband texted them

1053
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:40,200
Speaker 2: saying I was still upset about the wedding. Thanks for oversharing, babe.

1054
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:45,919
Speaker 2: Their response dwarcer, my husband just shrugged it off. Terrible one.

1055
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:49,360
Speaker 2: Your husband's saying the actual reason why you weren't coming,

1056
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 2: so throwing you under the bus. And then their response

1057
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:56,440
Speaker 2: divorce you, and he just he didn't defend you. He

1058
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:58,680
Speaker 2: wasn't like, how dare you well?

1059
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,000
Speaker 1: To be fair, we tell people to divorce all the time.

1060
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:03,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we don't know them.

1061
00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:05,759
Speaker 1: But maybe they don't know her. I don't know. I

1062
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:09,840
Speaker 1: think him blowing it off is probably a solid reaction.

1063
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:14,360
Speaker 1: I got. The politics of being like a cop basically

1064
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:16,359
Speaker 1: is like it's not like you can blow up at

1065
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:19,480
Speaker 1: all of them and be like, oah.

1066
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 2: Sure, but you could say, hey, you know, like please

1067
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:24,160
Speaker 2: don't say that, or not even say that my wife

1068
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 2: doesn't want to come because she's so upset.

1069
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:26,000
Speaker 1: We did.

1070
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:27,880
Speaker 2: We didn't need to say that. I've been with this

1071
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 2: man for ten years, married recently and seeing him dismiss

1072
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:35,880
Speaker 2: disrespect from his coworkers who now feel comfortable telling him

1073
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:39,960
Speaker 2: to divorce me is gutting do key. Things are clear

1074
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:43,080
Speaker 2: to me. If you let people disrespect your partner, they'll

1075
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:46,319
Speaker 2: keep doing it. If someone tells you to divorce her

1076
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 2: and you just shrug, you're opening the door to more

1077
00:52:49,239 --> 00:52:52,880
Speaker 2: disrespect and who knows what else. Really quick, why is

1078
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 2: he telling all of this? She wasn't there though, presumably

1079
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:58,359
Speaker 2: he's coming back to her and saying, yeah, they told

1080
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:00,520
Speaker 2: me to divorce you, and she's like, well, what did

1081
00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:01,680
Speaker 2: you say, and he's like, oh, man.

1082
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:02,799
Speaker 1: Just checked it off.

1083
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:06,160
Speaker 2: She wasn't there, oh, because he went. He went alone

1084
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 2: because she wouldn't come. So he's reporting this back to her.

1085
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:14,160
Speaker 1: Well that's good, I gue, unless he's being like, better, well,

1086
00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:17,160
Speaker 1: they told me to divorce you, so something to think about,

1087
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:21,279
Speaker 1: something to think about. Everyone else wants me to divorce you,

1088
00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:24,560
Speaker 1: don't think about. If that's how he did it, leave him,

1089
00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:25,520
Speaker 1: it's time to leave.

1090
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:28,920
Speaker 2: This whole experience was genuinely shocking to me because my

1091
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:33,120
Speaker 2: husband's friends outside of work have always been respectful and considerate,

1092
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:36,440
Speaker 2: not just toward their own wives, but towards me as well,

1093
00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:38,840
Speaker 2: for as long as I've known them. There is a

1094
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 2: little bit left to this story. Do you have any

1095
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:41,880
Speaker 2: final fonts.

1096
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:46,800
Speaker 1: Hmmm, the math, it's always gonna be a little mathematics

1097
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:50,800
Speaker 1: equation when you start dating at eighteen and they're twenty six.

1098
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:53,879
Speaker 2: Like we've said before, you know, age gap relationship can

1099
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:56,880
Speaker 2: work perfectly. But I think when you have this person

1100
00:53:56,880 --> 00:54:00,360
Speaker 2: who's older and also still disrespecting you, I don't know,

1101
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 2: like other people are also kind of looking down at

1102
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,520
Speaker 2: you because you are younger than them, even though that

1103
00:54:05,719 --> 00:54:09,360
Speaker 2: like you might have the same maturity level. Why is

1104
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:10,400
Speaker 2: he not standing up for you?

1105
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:11,520
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1106
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not good. And I think if he came

1107
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 2: back and said, you know, they said this thing, I'm

1108
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:19,799
Speaker 2: gonna try not to hang out with them that much

1109
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:22,320
Speaker 2: because I don't want to, like cause trouble at work.

1110
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:24,160
Speaker 2: Like if he came back and said that, that'd be

1111
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:24,840
Speaker 2: a different story.

1112
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:26,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a.

1113
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 2: Little bit left. Most are married with children, and I've

1114
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:32,520
Speaker 2: never witnessed any sort of disrespect or drama in those circles.

1115
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:35,360
Speaker 2: So when I married my husband, I had absolutely no

1116
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,120
Speaker 2: idea he had coworkers who would act this way. It

1117
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 2: was like discovering a completely different side to his social life,

1118
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:43,960
Speaker 2: and the contrast has left me confused and hurt. I

1119
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:46,799
Speaker 2: don't think these are healthy friends. Honestly, they're the type

1120
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:51,440
Speaker 2: to encourage cheating and lying. Yes, since they're coworkers, it's complicated.

1121
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 2: How do I handle this? How do I get my

1122
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:56,240
Speaker 2: husband to see what's really happening here? Help?

1123
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:56,959
Speaker 1: Am I over.

1124
00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:59,399
Speaker 2: Reacting or is this a big red flag? I don't

1125
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:01,000
Speaker 2: think it's the end of the relationship.

1126
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:03,879
Speaker 1: I think you're just experiencing the reality of dating someone

1127
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:07,879
Speaker 1: in law enforcement. Honestly, I mean, unfortunately you know, I'm

1128
00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:09,120
Speaker 1: not an expert in that.

1129
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:11,440
Speaker 2: But I think it is a red flag. I don't

1130
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:13,600
Speaker 2: think it's a divorce worthy one. I think it is

1131
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:15,680
Speaker 2: something to have a conversation with him about and say

1132
00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:19,200
Speaker 2: that you don't feel respected or kind of defended by him,

1133
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:22,360
Speaker 2: and hope that he changes his attitude. But that's the

1134
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:25,560
Speaker 2: end of that story, folks. And we've got some comments.

1135
00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:28,560
Speaker 3: Yes we do. So the commentsar are from the video

1136
00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:32,120
Speaker 3: my boss said, I don't deserve a raise And this

1137
00:55:32,239 --> 00:55:34,880
Speaker 3: was posted on November fifth, twenty twenty five. This is

1138
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:38,319
Speaker 3: going to be for story two of this episode, So

1139
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:40,479
Speaker 3: the TLDR for this episode is going to be OP

1140
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:43,279
Speaker 3: twenty two. Female just started a new job and the

1141
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 3: it guy late thirties, Mail keeps hitting on her, even

1142
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:50,440
Speaker 3: after she made it clear she's in a long term relationship.

1143
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:53,400
Speaker 3: He got all weird and passive aggressive, seeing he wouldn't

1144
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:56,560
Speaker 3: help the office if she didn't date him. OPI feels

1145
00:55:56,600 --> 00:56:01,080
Speaker 3: creeped out, anxious and trapped because he keeps showing up everywhere,

1146
00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:05,640
Speaker 3: but other cogers think he's harmless. Oh he doesn't know

1147
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:09,240
Speaker 3: if she overreacted or how to handle this creepy, toxic situation.

1148
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:12,359
Speaker 3: If you're curious to know the full story, you can

1149
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:15,520
Speaker 3: go watch the full video. I kind of recall this.

1150
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:17,919
Speaker 1: This story reacted with the lawsuit.

1151
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:19,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, lawsuit, I do you remember?

1152
00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:21,640
Speaker 1: Do you remember that one lawsuit?

1153
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 2: Yeah? He was basically harassing her and.

1154
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:26,800
Speaker 3: Then wasn't he Also he was like yeah he's late thirties.

1155
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:29,880
Speaker 3: Mail was like stvery weird. Yeah, it was very very weird.

1156
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:34,080
Speaker 3: We do have some comments. Red Rum Zombies says, do

1157
00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:36,439
Speaker 3: you went through the system in private information to get

1158
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:38,920
Speaker 3: her number? That's illegal?

1159
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:39,279
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1160
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:42,160
Speaker 3: It was literally illegal and if the company does nothing,

1161
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:46,640
Speaker 3: they are liable. So yeah, I think we all remembered, like,

1162
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:48,880
Speaker 3: go to HR, but even I think the HR person

1163
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 3: was like, oh no, he's harmless? Was I correct? Do

1164
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:51,680
Speaker 3: I remember that?

1165
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:52,280
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1166
00:56:52,280 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 2: It was something like I just remember them.

1167
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:57,319
Speaker 3: Not really, no one really cared. Yeah, like no, he's like, oh,

1168
00:56:57,360 --> 00:56:58,720
Speaker 3: he's just he does just like he's.

1169
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:01,520
Speaker 1: Just the guy. He's just a little guy.

1170
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:04,920
Speaker 4: He's just a little guy.

1171
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 3: It was very, very weird. But we have a second

1172
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:10,319
Speaker 3: comment here by Christian Smith seventy seven thirty seven. I

1173
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:12,880
Speaker 3: believe op needs to get a lawyer that specializes in

1174
00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 3: spicy harassment slash toxic work environment and start documenting everything

1175
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:20,520
Speaker 3: and then bring it to the company whenever she decides

1176
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:22,880
Speaker 3: to leave. She might also want to start a paperwork

1177
00:57:22,920 --> 00:57:25,760
Speaker 3: trail with the police on this guy stalking her outside

1178
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:28,520
Speaker 3: of work, and since she's in a relationship, she needs

1179
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:30,680
Speaker 3: to let the partner know so he can help protect

1180
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:33,120
Speaker 3: her and possibly put this crazy guy in his place.

1181
00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:35,840
Speaker 3: Since the it guy has a low view of women,

1182
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:39,440
Speaker 3: then he should respect a man who comes to him

1183
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:41,720
Speaker 3: and tells him to leave his property alone.

1184
00:57:42,080 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 1: And you inspect my man words.

1185
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:46,240
Speaker 2: I don't like that guy respect him?

1186
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:50,240
Speaker 1: Thinks you respect my man words? Right now? No, now

1187
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:52,160
Speaker 1: I come to use a man, I speaking like man,

1188
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 1: I start talk like man, you spect my man?

1189
00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 3: And that was that was the last comment. I agree.

1190
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:59,040
Speaker 3: I mean, I think we also have the same thing, like, yeah,

1191
00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:01,760
Speaker 3: we I do recall that Opie didn't really tell her

1192
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:04,560
Speaker 3: partner until the very end, and like was he nonchalant

1193
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:05,640
Speaker 3: or was he very serious?

1194
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:06,320
Speaker 2: I don't remember.

1195
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 3: I don't remember. It's hard to remember all these stories.

1196
00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:11,720
Speaker 3: But yes, get get the law involved, get this paper

1197
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:13,600
Speaker 3: trail work. And I like that comment of I think

1198
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:15,640
Speaker 3: we said the same thing. Just make sure you're safe.

1199
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:17,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's scary, guys, A creeper.

1200
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:20,560
Speaker 3: All right. That is the end of the comments and.

1201
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:23,080
Speaker 2: The end of the episode. So if you love us,

1202
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:24,600
Speaker 2: make sure to subscribe We

1203
00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:26,920
Speaker 1: Love you and see it am all