1
00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:03,760
Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

2
00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:07,360
Speaker 1: advice in relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please submit

3
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:11,360
Speaker 1: your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM dot com. Click

4
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:15,520
Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter and we could be receiving your letter

5
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,959
Speaker 1: and reading your letter live on the air. It's like

6
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,880
Speaker 1: we're going to do this one right here, right now,

7
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:24,560
Speaker 1: and you never know it could be yours. Yeah, buck

8
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:26,119
Speaker 1: it up and hold on type. We got it for

9
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,800
Speaker 1: you here. It is a Strawberry letter, all right, thank

10
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,000
Speaker 1: enough for you. Subject Nothing is free over here. Dear

11
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:35,120
Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley, I'm thirty nine years old and I'm twice

12
00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:38,560
Speaker 1: divorced and back on the dating scene. When I got

13
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,280
Speaker 1: married the first time, I was twenty two years old

14
00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:44,280
Speaker 1: and I married an NFL player. We date it during

15
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,400
Speaker 1: high school and he promised to treat me like a

16
00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:50,199
Speaker 1: princess if I ever married him. When he proposed, I

17
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:53,080
Speaker 1: got a range rover, a ring and the keys to

18
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,040
Speaker 1: a retail space. He told me I could open up

19
00:00:56,080 --> 00:01:00,480
Speaker 1: any type of business I want it. We divorced after

20
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,080
Speaker 1: six years, and I had never opened up a clothing

21
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:05,840
Speaker 1: store or a nail salon like I told him I

22
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,520
Speaker 1: would He told me I was extremely selfish and he

23
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:13,160
Speaker 1: was tired of his needs not being met. I was

24
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,279
Speaker 1: meeting all of his needs sexually, and I would always

25
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:19,720
Speaker 1: look amazing whenever we went out together. Soon after we

26
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:23,119
Speaker 1: got divorced, I met an older, wealthy guy and got

27
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,880
Speaker 1: married after six months of dating. I had a full

28
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,960
Speaker 1: staff of people that catered to my every need. When

29
00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:32,080
Speaker 1: I turned thirty three, he filed for divorce and said

30
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,440
Speaker 1: I had a lot of growing up to do. He

31
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,240
Speaker 1: said that I didn't bring anything to the table and

32
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:40,240
Speaker 1: he couldn't hold a real conversation with me. That hurt,

33
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:43,520
Speaker 1: and I had to do some introspection on how my

34
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,520
Speaker 1: mother raised me. My mom always had a man in

35
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:48,920
Speaker 1: her life that provided for us, and I never saw

36
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,640
Speaker 1: her do housework or go to a real job. I

37
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:55,000
Speaker 1: always thought my mom was so regal because she always

38
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:59,080
Speaker 1: wore beautiful long nightgowns with matching robes and high heeled slippers.

39
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,280
Speaker 1: She taught me that if a man wanted a conversation

40
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,400
Speaker 1: with me, or dinner with me, and especially sex with me,

41
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,400
Speaker 1: he had to pay for it. I've been single for

42
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:11,960
Speaker 1: five years, and nothing's free over here and never will be.

43
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,920
Speaker 1: So where are all of the gentlemen and the wealthy

44
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,880
Speaker 1: men that don't mind spoiling a woman. A woman, am

45
00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:24,400
Speaker 1: I supposed to lower my standards? Wait? What? I really

46
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,400
Speaker 1: don't get the point of this letter. I really don't.

47
00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:29,920
Speaker 1: I think you left out a lot in this letter,

48
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,160
Speaker 1: and I got to ask you, what is it that

49
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,880
Speaker 1: you want from us? I mean, this letter to me

50
00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:39,080
Speaker 1: is just really, really shallow. Do you want us to

51
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:42,000
Speaker 1: tell you it's okay to say nothing's free over here

52
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,120
Speaker 1: and never will be, because I don't really know what

53
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:50,160
Speaker 1: that means. If a man wants to be with you,

54
00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,640
Speaker 1: he has to pay you money. What are you saying?

55
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:56,240
Speaker 1: I just gotta tell you this. Any man of substance

56
00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:05,600
Speaker 1: or wealth or anything wants something from a woman, Okay, love, loyalty, support, conversation, something,

57
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,920
Speaker 1: And both your husbands say you didn't give him that.

58
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,600
Speaker 1: You said your most recent husband told you he couldn't

59
00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:16,680
Speaker 1: even have a real conversation with you and that you

60
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,480
Speaker 1: needed to grow up so you were immature. You got

61
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,040
Speaker 1: to give him more than just pretty. I mean, I'm

62
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:26,839
Speaker 1: assuming that you're beautiful, but beauty is beautiful until it's

63
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:31,560
Speaker 1: not because it fades. Your first husband said you were selfish.

64
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,960
Speaker 1: It's clear that that was all about you. In both

65
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,400
Speaker 1: the marriages, it was just all about you. You didn't

66
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,280
Speaker 1: do your part and they got tired of you. So yes,

67
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,000
Speaker 1: it's definitely time for some introspection on your part. But

68
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,120
Speaker 1: I don't think the example your mom gave you helps.

69
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,560
Speaker 1: I mean no disrespect, but she's from a different era

70
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,640
Speaker 1: and what worked for her obviously isn't serving you. So

71
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,360
Speaker 1: after five years of being single, you're asking where are

72
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,520
Speaker 1: all the wealthy men who want to spoil a woman?

73
00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:58,200
Speaker 1: We have a wealthy man on the show. He's going

74
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:01,240
Speaker 1: to speak in just a moment. Where all the men

75
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,760
Speaker 1: that want to shower you? And should you lower your standards? Well,

76
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,200
Speaker 1: I think wealthy men? Or where they always are with

77
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,720
Speaker 1: the wealthy? I mean they're not at the club, Okay,

78
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,280
Speaker 1: they're not there. And as far as your standards, it

79
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,560
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like you have any except you want to

80
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:23,599
Speaker 1: do nothing and marry well and then still do nothing. Steve, Well, well, well,

81
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:29,919
Speaker 1: well this letter right here. Have you ever heard the saying,

82
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,760
Speaker 1: now here's the letter nothing is free over here? Have

83
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:39,520
Speaker 1: you ever heard the saying it might be you? Yeah,

84
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:44,080
Speaker 1: there is a saying everybody the saying is it might

85
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:50,200
Speaker 1: be you. So I'm going to begin reading this letter slowly,

86
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:55,760
Speaker 1: and as we go, I'm going to point out ways

87
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,440
Speaker 1: where you can understand why I'm giving her this saying

88
00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,760
Speaker 1: that it might be you. I'm thirty nine years old,

89
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:05,359
Speaker 1: I'm twice divorced, and back on the dating scene. It

90
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:09,560
Speaker 1: might be you. It might be when I got married

91
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,320
Speaker 1: the first time, I was twenty two years old. I

92
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:16,320
Speaker 1: married an NFL player. We dated during high school and

93
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:20,080
Speaker 1: he promised to treat me like a princess. Now let's

94
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:24,760
Speaker 1: begin the lessons in this letter if I would treat

95
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,880
Speaker 1: me like a princess if I ever married him. When

96
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:33,080
Speaker 1: he proposed, I got a range rover, a ring, and

97
00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:36,040
Speaker 1: keys to a retail space, and he told me I

98
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:40,599
Speaker 1: can open up any type of business I want. Now

99
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,240
Speaker 1: let me ask you that. Here's a question, But what

100
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:50,680
Speaker 1: did he get? You got a ring, a range Rover,

101
00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:58,599
Speaker 1: and a retail space. But what did he get? Here

102
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:03,520
Speaker 1: we go. We divorced after six years, and I had

103
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,600
Speaker 1: never opened up a clothing store or nail salon like

104
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:11,560
Speaker 1: I told him I would. Here's the question again. Okay,

105
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:16,839
Speaker 1: well what did he get? I'm just asking what did

106
00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:19,200
Speaker 1: he get. You didn't open up to close the store,

107
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,480
Speaker 1: the nail salon, You got the ring and the range rover.

108
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,080
Speaker 1: You told him what you was gonna do. You never did.

109
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,320
Speaker 1: Six years he wanted divorce. What did he get? He

110
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:31,520
Speaker 1: told me I was extremely selfish and he was tired

111
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,920
Speaker 1: of his needs not being met. He was trying to

112
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:39,120
Speaker 1: let you know that he wasn't getting something. When I

113
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,400
Speaker 1: come back, it's a letter full of the stay with me.

114
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,240
Speaker 1: Hang on, Steve. We'll have bert two of your response

115
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,120
Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's

116
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:50,520
Speaker 1: Strawberry Letters, subject nothing is free over here. We'll get

117
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:54,560
Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening to Harvey

118
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,880
Speaker 1: Morning Show. All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's

119
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:01,880
Speaker 1: strawberry letters. Subject nothing is free over here. The subject

120
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,840
Speaker 1: is nothing is free over here. The subject of the

121
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:09,400
Speaker 1: letter I wish was it might be you. So I'm

122
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,640
Speaker 1: gonna read you the letter quickly, and I'm gonna show

123
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,200
Speaker 1: you what's wrong with this young lady. I'm thirty nine

124
00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,800
Speaker 1: years old, of twice divorced, and back on the Dayton scene.

125
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,280
Speaker 1: It might be you. When I got married the first time,

126
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,600
Speaker 1: I was twenty two years old, I married an NFL player.

127
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,640
Speaker 1: We dated do in high school. He promised to treat

128
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,880
Speaker 1: me like a princess if I ever married him. So

129
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,480
Speaker 1: here we go. When he proposed, I gotta range rover

130
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:32,520
Speaker 1: ring the keys to retail space, and he told me

131
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,400
Speaker 1: I can open up any type of business. I wanted question,

132
00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:39,320
Speaker 1: but what did he get? We divorced after six years,

133
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,640
Speaker 1: and I had never opened up a clothing store or

134
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:45,320
Speaker 1: nail salon like I told him I would. What because

135
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:48,800
Speaker 1: what did he get? You got all? Listen you didn't.

136
00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:53,480
Speaker 1: He told me I was extremely selfish and was tired

137
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:57,920
Speaker 1: of his needs not being met. He was not getting something.

138
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,320
Speaker 1: Then you said I was meeting all of his needs sexually,

139
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,160
Speaker 1: and I would look amazing whenever we went out together.

140
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,960
Speaker 1: So you thought that was enough. I'm gonna have sex

141
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,960
Speaker 1: with you and I'm gonna look amazing every time we

142
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:15,640
Speaker 1: go out. You thought that was enough. Obviously it wasn't.

143
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:22,240
Speaker 1: What did he get? Ain't nobody gonna live with you

144
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,440
Speaker 1: just because you look good when you go out and

145
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:28,360
Speaker 1: you have sex. It's more to this than that, lady,

146
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:33,280
Speaker 1: Here we go. Soon after we got divorced, Oh oh,

147
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:37,200
Speaker 1: that popped off again. I met an older, wealthy guy,

148
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,240
Speaker 1: and we got married after six months of dayton. I

149
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,720
Speaker 1: had a full staff of people that catered to my

150
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:46,960
Speaker 1: every need. Let me ask this million dollar question again,

151
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:51,080
Speaker 1: what did he get? I'm just asking, lady, because you

152
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,439
Speaker 1: keep getting a whole lot of things. But what do

153
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,760
Speaker 1: he give? When I turned thirty three, he filed for

154
00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,800
Speaker 1: divorce and said I had a lot of growing up

155
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,839
Speaker 1: to do. He said I didn't bring anything to the

156
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:09,160
Speaker 1: table and he couldn't hold a real conversation with me. Again,

157
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,000
Speaker 1: what did he get? He just got the girl that

158
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,880
Speaker 1: dressed up good in hand sex. He can't even have

159
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:20,360
Speaker 1: a real conversation with you. You need to grow up

160
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:26,360
Speaker 1: because these men ain't got nothing. You don't bring nothing

161
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,800
Speaker 1: to the table self how you look, and you have

162
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,960
Speaker 1: sex that is not gonna hold a man. Lady. Sorry

163
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,880
Speaker 1: that hurt, and I had to do some introspection on

164
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:41,600
Speaker 1: how my mother raised me. Here we go. My mom

165
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:45,280
Speaker 1: always had a man in her life that provided for us.

166
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,520
Speaker 1: I never saw her do housework or go to a

167
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,480
Speaker 1: real job. I always thought my mom was so regal

168
00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:56,000
Speaker 1: because she always wore beautiful long nightgowns and matching robes

169
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,840
Speaker 1: and high heels sleeping, slipping. And she taught me that

170
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,600
Speaker 1: if a man wanted to come say you with me,

171
00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:03,559
Speaker 1: or dinner with me, and especially sexual me, he had

172
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:07,480
Speaker 1: to pay for it. Well, well, well, let me go

173
00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:10,680
Speaker 1: back to this line. My mom always had a man

174
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:16,520
Speaker 1: in her life to provide for See what did your

175
00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:23,000
Speaker 1: mama do besides wearing long regal grounds and high heeled slippers.

176
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:29,840
Speaker 1: And the reason your mama always had a man in

177
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,600
Speaker 1: her life because she always had to go get another one.

178
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,720
Speaker 1: See she You didn't say, my daddy, you're my step

179
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,079
Speaker 1: You said, my mom always had a man in her

180
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:43,480
Speaker 1: life who provided for us, because she always had to

181
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:47,000
Speaker 1: go get a new one. Because your mama just wore

182
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,760
Speaker 1: high heel slippers and matching robes and long beautiful nightgowns.

183
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,520
Speaker 1: Here we go, and my mama told me, if a

184
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,679
Speaker 1: man wanted a conversation with me, or dinner with me,

185
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:01,160
Speaker 1: especially with sexual me, have to pay for them. Listen

186
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:04,120
Speaker 1: to me, we mad, We know we have to pay

187
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:08,160
Speaker 1: for it, either directly or indirectly. We know that we

188
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:11,800
Speaker 1: have to pay for a woman directly or indirectly. You

189
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,160
Speaker 1: can go to a brothel or a street corner and

190
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,680
Speaker 1: BUISEX directly or you can whine and die a woman.

191
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,480
Speaker 1: The choice is yours. But the payment gonna get made,

192
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:25,080
Speaker 1: We are clear about that. But in return, what do

193
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,520
Speaker 1: we get? Because if you want to be in a relationship,

194
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,640
Speaker 1: it's got to be molding long gowns and high heel

195
00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:36,280
Speaker 1: slippers and pretty pretty things and sex. Nobody's staying with

196
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:42,280
Speaker 1: you for that for years. So where are all the

197
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,720
Speaker 1: gentlemen and the wealthy men that don't mind spoiling a woman.

198
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,720
Speaker 1: It's a lot of gentlemen out here. It's a lot

199
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,960
Speaker 1: of wealthy men out here. Ain't got a spoiler woman.

200
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:54,479
Speaker 1: They already you already got that. You had two of them.

201
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,520
Speaker 1: You had a man who gave your ranger over a

202
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,840
Speaker 1: ring and a retail space where you don't open up anything.

203
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,960
Speaker 1: Then you had a man in here that gave you

204
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:06,160
Speaker 1: a full staff of people that cater to your every need.

205
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:10,320
Speaker 1: They're out there, you keep meeting them, but you don't

206
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:15,720
Speaker 1: bring nothing to the table. And just like your mama,

207
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:19,600
Speaker 1: you're gonna always have to have a man because you

208
00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:25,280
Speaker 1: don't bring nothing to the table. Stop blaming this on men.

209
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,720
Speaker 1: You've had wealthy men that didn't mind spoiling a woman.

210
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,520
Speaker 1: But you didn't do nothing for them, tell out I

211
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:36,000
Speaker 1: had sex with them and always looked amazing. So have

212
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:41,840
Speaker 1: you looked on Instagram? Don't do it to yourself, girl, girl,

213
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,640
Speaker 1: You know how many amazing look at women out there

214
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:48,720
Speaker 1: that that ain't really them? You got a filter? Am

215
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,160
Speaker 1: I supposed to lower my standards? No, you're supposed to

216
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:55,160
Speaker 1: want something else other than nice things and looking good

217
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,960
Speaker 1: and passing out sex. You need to develop some standards

218
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,560
Speaker 1: and you need to pass out something other than some tale.

219
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,920
Speaker 1: All right, thank you, Steve. We have comments on today's

220
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:10,480
Speaker 1: letter on Instagram, at Steve Harvey FM, and check out

221
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:13,920
Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Up next, Sports Talk

222
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,480
Speaker 1: with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to the Steve

223
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:18,600
Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show