1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, ba fam. Please follow us on Apple 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 1: Podcasts and keep our audience growing. If your iPhone recently 3 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:13,880 Speaker 1: updated to iOS fourteen point five, head to Apple Podcasts, 4 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 1: search for Brown Ambition and click on the plus button 5 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:20,919 Speaker 1: in the upper right hand corner. Do that and you'll 6 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 1: be following our show Loop Loop. You can also follow 7 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: us on Spotify, on Stitcher, or on the Amazon Music app. 8 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: You would not do all that, you know, if you 9 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,520 Speaker 1: had to Android, but you know Apple, that's fine. It's fine. 10 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 1: And now onto our show. Hey, hey, hey, we're back, 11 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 1: We're Blead, We're brown Shan. Welcome Black, Mandy. I'm gonna 12 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 1: say that every time. Now I'm not gonna remember because 13 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 1: you don't remembory. But someone said that to me yes, 14 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:14,959 Speaker 1: and I thought that was so delightful. They're like, ooh girl, 15 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:15,640 Speaker 1: welcome black. 16 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:19,479 Speaker 2: I was like, wait what I need the T shirt, 17 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 2: I need the mug I need. 18 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,120 Speaker 1: Yes, welcome Black. I love that. 19 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 2: Hey, Happy whatever day of the week it is, Monday, 20 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,200 Speaker 2: I'm very excited about today's show. 21 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 1: Me too. 22 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:33,759 Speaker 2: We have one of our one of our recurring faves 23 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 2: on the show, my financial planner Helen, who wants to 24 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 2: know where I've been and I have been delinquent in 25 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 2: my in my sessions with Helen. But she's back on 26 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 2: the show and we are answering y'all's questions about how 27 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 2: to save for your kids, and Helen has some very 28 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,760 Speaker 2: She has some interesting hot takes on the types of 29 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 2: accounts that we all think are the right thing to do, 30 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 2: from five to nine to UTMA accounts, to custodials because 31 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 2: odial accounts. Helen is going to cover it all and 32 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 2: really dive into what it takes to raise some money 33 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 2: savvy kids. 34 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: I cannot wait. How long does one of my favorite 35 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: go to? You know, I have a handful of financial 36 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 1: advisors slash planners that I recommend to people, and she 37 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 1: is one of the only three that I recommend. So 38 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 1: she's alsome. You guys are going to love her. Well, 39 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: you've locked her before because she's been here before. 40 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 2: I just find her voice so soothing too, just like, yeah, Helen, 41 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 2: I need to help us. She's also my relationship mediator, 42 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:32,640 Speaker 2: is how I also feel about her. 43 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,359 Speaker 1: That's almost financial. If you have a financial advisor who 44 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 1: helps you as a couple, they are definitely mediating. I 45 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 1: was gonna say so last last episode, if you missed it. 46 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 1: It was epic, as all of our episodes are. I 47 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,400 Speaker 1: wanted to provide additional cloudy that Doctor Green gave me 48 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: that I'm like, and I think maybe this is speaking 49 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,959 Speaker 1: to what you were saying, Mandy, and maybe you tell 50 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,919 Speaker 1: me so remember like during you know, the beginning, I 51 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 1: was talking about like sometimes you hold ourselves back dreaming big, right, 52 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 1: and then you were like, well, what if you know? 53 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,919 Speaker 1: Is there anything you said you were going to write 54 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 1: a book called like something about being content? Right? 55 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:09,960 Speaker 3: What? 56 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 2: Oh god, hey, you're reminding me what I said on 57 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 2: an episode? What what is this opposite day? God? 58 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:18,080 Speaker 1: I got it. 59 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 2: I can't stop myself. Why I throw shade so much? Anyway? 60 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:24,000 Speaker 2: I yeah, I was talking about a really dark time 61 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,720 Speaker 2: in my life where I was trying to convince a 62 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 2: friend of mine that a really good book idea would 63 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 2: be to talk about the power of mediocrity and how 64 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 2: we should all just stop trying to uh to be 65 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 2: perfect and have the most money, in the best house 66 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 2: and all that stuff. 67 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: No, but you know what, there's something I won't say 68 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 1: necessarily mediocrity, but I will say this that I was 69 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 1: talking to doctor Green. We had our session last Friday, 70 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 1: and I was telling her, how, you know, I've been 71 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,880 Speaker 1: really struggling. I did that activity that I told you 72 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: guys to do. Remember, I said, like, Mandy, like five minutes, 73 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: write down like your your hopes and dreams and without hesitation, 74 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 1: without limitation, just like get your a million. A million 75 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 1: is my four year old niece. And she's just be like, 76 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 1: I want to go to the moon, I want to 77 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,640 Speaker 1: go to Mars. I want to go to you know, 78 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 1: like just do that and just to kind of get 79 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: a gauge of like, you know, what are your big 80 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 1: hopes and dreams. Not that you're going to accomplish all 81 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 1: of them, but you know that at least out. And 82 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:19,159 Speaker 1: so I was telling doctor Green that I was having 83 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 1: a hard time with like you know that none of 84 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:25,599 Speaker 1: them seemed big or like maybe like you know, maybe 85 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 1: I'm afraid to dream big. And she was like, okay, Tiffany, 86 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,919 Speaker 1: let's dial al on back. So this is she gathered 87 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: my edges. So here's your edge gathering. I was okay, 88 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,920 Speaker 1: because I was like I couldn't leave this part out 89 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 1: because I'm like I left you guys with all that 90 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,480 Speaker 1: stuff that It's like She's like, girl, now, she said Tiffany, 91 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 1: you're living big sis. You wrote a book, it's on 92 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 1: a New York Times bestsellers list, you have successful business, 93 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,920 Speaker 1: you have this year like you're here, and that maybe 94 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: one of the reasons why you're struggling with quote unquote 95 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: thinking big is because you're you're you're already living the 96 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: big dream that you put down. That's okay. So she 97 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: was like, I think the word big is you're you're 98 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 1: using that word too liberally. It's more so I want 99 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:13,839 Speaker 1: you personally to think more meaningfully right to think so 100 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:18,000 Speaker 1: because for some people that is big, like oh, you know, 101 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 1: I'm just starting out, or like, you know, I do 102 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,479 Speaker 1: really want this huge dream. But she was like, but 103 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 1: for you, Tiffany, it might not look like a bigger 104 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: company in a bigger house and a bigger car that's 105 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 1: clearly not moving you. That's why you're having a hard 106 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,720 Speaker 1: time putting it down. For you, it's baby, girl, what 107 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 1: is bigger? 108 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 3: You know? 109 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 1: She's like, for you, it might be you know, I've 110 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 1: always wanted to learn how to paint. I want to 111 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,359 Speaker 1: get back to write writing poetry. She's like, you know, 112 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 1: we live in a world where we're told that if 113 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 1: it's not big it's not good, and she's just had 114 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,599 Speaker 1: me like reset. So not it doesn't mean that. I 115 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,960 Speaker 1: just wanted to share that because you might have listened 116 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,919 Speaker 1: last week and felt what I was feeling, which is 117 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 1: the struggle for I don't necessarily desire more. You know, 118 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,719 Speaker 1: She's well because years ago I put down all my 119 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 1: big more in my my journal, I put it down 120 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: on my vision board, and I'm not gonna lie. I've 121 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 1: accomplished just about all those things that I said that 122 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 1: I wanted, and so that's why I was struggling, because 123 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 1: I'm okay with not necessarily wanting more, you know, at 124 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,840 Speaker 1: least not in this huge way, because all those seats 125 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,039 Speaker 1: have already been planted, like the kind of like the 126 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 1: things that I'm growing toward, and it's like, yes, it's 127 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 1: okay to turn inward and say, well, what are the 128 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,040 Speaker 1: meaningful things? You know? Maybe it's just, hey, I actually 129 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,320 Speaker 1: want to talk to my mom more. Maybe you know, 130 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 1: I want to spend more time with my besties. So 131 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: I just wanted to acknowledge that what you said, Mandy, 132 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 1: because I feel like it was kind of like a 133 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 1: riff on what you were sharing that you know that 134 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:49,039 Speaker 1: not every goal or dream is this huge external leap 135 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: and lunch. Sometimes it's just more of the same or 136 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:56,039 Speaker 1: just more looking inward. I guess to say, you. 137 00:06:56,080 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 2: Know, yeah, absolutely, and it's hard to sell it's really. 138 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,880 Speaker 2: I mean, even as I was talking about that idea, 139 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,840 Speaker 2: I still believe that fundamentally it's not about Listen. I 140 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:07,240 Speaker 2: was in a dark place and I was talking about 141 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:09,479 Speaker 2: mediocrity and just like just be okay with what the 142 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 2: bare minimum. But I think what we're talking about is 143 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 2: more being okay, being at peace with what you have 144 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 2: and understand knowing when it's going to like knowing what 145 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 2: you're enough is and knowing what like what do you 146 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,240 Speaker 2: need to be happy and healthy and content and to 147 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,000 Speaker 2: get to a place where your life is the cake 148 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 2: and anything on top of that is you know, yes, 149 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 2: and at a certain point you do need to make 150 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 2: peace with what you have because like adding adding coins 151 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 2: and adding accolades and adding you know, things to your list, 152 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,320 Speaker 2: unless that truly serves you, is not going to result 153 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 2: in any true feeling of I have more, I feel better, 154 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 2: And so yeah, it's it's a balance. It's like knowing 155 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 2: what you want, like don't don't leave any dreams on 156 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 2: the table, but also don't add stuff to your list 157 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 2: that you just percctually. Yeah, just because Yeah, and I'm 158 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 2: I'm and that's what I was really at the point 159 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,240 Speaker 2: where I was like, I was doing that time. I've 160 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 2: done that my entire life, Like, I've done that. I 161 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 2: have struggled with always having something to do. And even today, 162 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 2: my my go to therapist was like, why don't you 163 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 2: just do nothing? She's like, what would happen if you 164 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 2: just did nothing for a minute. I'm like, I don't. 165 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 2: I think I break. I couldn't even do like maternityly. 166 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,160 Speaker 2: But anyway, Yeah, I'm glad that we've revisited that because 167 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 2: it's and I think when we talk about like, you know, 168 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 2: we've been talking about Christina and Iman from our Rich 169 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,080 Speaker 2: Journey and how happy they were. Yeah, soid their journey 170 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:40,319 Speaker 2: is about saving money and investing for wealth and acquiring 171 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 2: that much money in their bank account. But they they 172 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 2: also had the courage to say that's enough and let's 173 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 2: jump off, you know, let's let's stop now, let's let's 174 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:52,080 Speaker 2: stop focusing on earning, and let's live the life that 175 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:55,080 Speaker 2: we've you know, always dreamed of. And it's much more 176 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 2: than just money. It's the time they get to spend 177 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:01,680 Speaker 2: with their cute daughters and you know, gardening and things 178 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 2: like that. Yeah, I'm that's why I'm excited for you 179 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,080 Speaker 2: in this like little hiatus and you don't learn how 180 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 2: to crochet? 181 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 1: Yes, I can. I wait, I honestly I'm looking forward 182 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: to that. Look, I used to write poetry, So I'm 183 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 1: like looking forward to like, hey, you know, they used 184 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,440 Speaker 1: to be like a thing where I'd be like just 185 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 1: entrance and moved and like I was a voracious reader, 186 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,320 Speaker 1: like you know, and not like I don't have a 187 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 1: specific genre. Like sometimes I'd be like it's like romance 188 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 1: novel month. Well I'll read like ten Roman's novels, book 189 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,679 Speaker 1: novel books, and then that it's sci fi and then 190 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,079 Speaker 1: you know, so I like a wide variety of books. 191 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: I just like good writing, you know, one that I 192 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,880 Speaker 1: could literally fall into and you look up and you're like, 193 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 1: I'm not in Hrry Potter World, you. 194 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,559 Speaker 2: Know, I love that's the best. 195 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:48,960 Speaker 1: Yes, And so I look forward to like getting back 196 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 1: to like reading, like I said, writing poetry. Maybe I 197 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 1: used to journal. Honestly, I've got like ten journals. I 198 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: journaled all through elementary well, middle school and high school, 199 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 1: and then in college I did some journaling. Most of 200 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:05,080 Speaker 1: my journaling in college were like poems. But then I 201 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,760 Speaker 1: stopped and I'm like, you know what to me? I honestly, Mandy, 202 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:09,839 Speaker 1: I used to delight in going to the bookstore and 203 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,960 Speaker 1: getting a brand new journal, like is it gonna have flowers? 204 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,240 Speaker 1: Is it gonna be leatherbound? It's gonna be you know, 205 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: Like I'm like, what happened to that Tiffany that you 206 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:20,960 Speaker 1: useduld just delight in? Like her Tiffany Neess, you know, 207 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 1: And so I'm excited about exploring that again because that was. 208 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 1: This is why I mean, if there's nothing else, I 209 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 1: hope that you get away from. You know, the last 210 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 1: year is the importance of asking for help, because what 211 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: could take you ten years to figure out with help 212 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,120 Speaker 1: might take you one year. You know, what could take 213 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,360 Speaker 1: you one year might take you one month with help. 214 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 1: Whether it's like a helln you know who you're like, Okay, 215 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 1: I need help with my finances, or whether it's a 216 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 1: doctor green you know, a coach, or whether it's like 217 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:57,440 Speaker 1: you know, Stephanie from navipsych a you know, the therapist 218 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 1: finder or therapy for black girls like asking for help. 219 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:03,600 Speaker 1: It's so critically important because the right help can really 220 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 1: help you to look at yourself and become more of yourself. 221 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 1: Like you know, doctor Green, and you know all my 222 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 1: coaches and things. They're not there to change me. They're 223 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 1: there to help me clean the mirror so I can 224 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 1: be like, oh, there, she is what you want girl. 225 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 3: You know. 226 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,840 Speaker 1: So I wanted to just acknowledge that made because I 227 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:26,239 Speaker 1: think that I wasn't hearing you because it's not like mediocrity. 228 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,840 Speaker 1: But it's like, no, it's just girl, it's okay to 229 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,760 Speaker 1: be like I kind of like spaghetti. I don't I 230 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,679 Speaker 1: don't need RICKATONI. I mean, I know it's fancier, but like. 231 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 2: It's like my husband is like, why don't you just 232 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 2: make rio a grilled cheese and not salmon with avocado puree, 233 00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:46,080 Speaker 2: And like he's like, just keep it simple stupid like 234 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 2: sweating over stove. No, I mean, it's I know, I 235 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,200 Speaker 2: think we're on the same page. I just think, you know, 236 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 2: mediocrity is just a word that is such. It's just 237 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:58,040 Speaker 2: a negative word mediocre. Who wants to be mediocre? Who 238 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 2: wants to just be okay? But I get it, and 239 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 2: I think this past week. I have certainly, well literally 240 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:07,440 Speaker 2: this past year. I said to a friend and I 241 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 2: said to a family friend, he listens to the show, 242 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 2: Hey Denny, And I could see his eyes be like, 243 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 2: really does she just say that? Because we were at 244 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 2: this We went to this farm over the weekend and 245 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:18,160 Speaker 2: it was like, I don't know, like a petting zoo, 246 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,800 Speaker 2: and there's all these spring animals, like lambs are born 247 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,200 Speaker 2: in the spring. It's just like Milo and otis like 248 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 2: there's just babies, baby animals everywhere. And I was just 249 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,280 Speaker 2: I was having the time of my life. It was 250 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:32,559 Speaker 2: me and like the four year olds, you know, with 251 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:34,559 Speaker 2: our faces pressed up. If I wasn't so big, I 252 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 2: would have just climbed the fence too, to be with 253 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 2: the other kids. I was having so much fun. And 254 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,400 Speaker 2: I looked up and I was like, I love having 255 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,960 Speaker 2: a kid because it makes it okay for you to 256 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,599 Speaker 2: be a kid again. And I'm like, why didn't I 257 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 2: come to this farm before? 258 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:46,800 Speaker 3: You know? 259 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 2: And I'm like, I can't. And then I just started 260 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 2: my mind started spinning. I'm like, wait, we're gonna I'm 261 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,040 Speaker 2: going to get some jump rope and I'm going to 262 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 2: get a hula hoop. Yeah, and maybe I'll learn how 263 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaker 2: to hula hoop. I never did learn how to hulu 264 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,680 Speaker 2: did I never? No, I never been good at it. 265 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 2: I could jump rope and double dutch, but I couldn't 266 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:03,079 Speaker 2: do us. 267 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,240 Speaker 1: Girl, I could got double dutch. 268 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:08,440 Speaker 2: Look at Mandy hey cindervellahead lost her fell ahead anyway. 269 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,000 Speaker 2: I also never done a cartwill in my life, but 270 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,839 Speaker 2: I you know, and I was scarred by a cheerleading camp. 271 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,760 Speaker 2: But we won't go there. But it's tap for me. 272 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:22,000 Speaker 2: What has been joyful is I have the you know, 273 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:26,280 Speaker 2: professional milestones, and I do feel happy financially, but damn it, 274 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 2: I love to just lay in the grass and play 275 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,720 Speaker 2: with worms, you know, with my kid. It's just nice. 276 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 2: And maybe someone else doesn't want to do that, but 277 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,559 Speaker 2: I just love the message of our show. I think 278 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 2: it still rings true. It's just tapping into what makes 279 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:42,280 Speaker 2: you happy and doing that thing unapologetically and being your 280 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 2: weirdest self, you know, just being whoever you are, whatever 281 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,600 Speaker 2: brings you joy, and doing that apologetically. And I think 282 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,440 Speaker 2: that that that takes away the power I feel like 283 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:55,960 Speaker 2: of of some of the things we talk about. You know, 284 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 2: I need a social media break or man, I gotta 285 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 2: take a vacation because work is just stressed me out, 286 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,400 Speaker 2: or people are stressing me out, or my parents are 287 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,079 Speaker 2: stressing me out because they're always telling me what I 288 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:06,559 Speaker 2: should be doing. I feel like once you're truly at 289 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:09,440 Speaker 2: peace with who you are and happy with what you're doing, 290 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,520 Speaker 2: those things start to bother you less, and. 291 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 1: You don't need a break from your life. 292 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:14,520 Speaker 2: And you don't need a break from your life. 293 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, and yeah, it's just true. First of all, I 294 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 1: cannot believe you could double dutch because I can die. 295 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,720 Speaker 2: Well listen, I haven't done it in like twenty years. 296 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 2: But yeah, I used to be good. 297 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 1: I used to be good. I could just do regular 298 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 1: jump rope. But no, because you're right, because when I 299 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 1: had the crazies, that's what I called my niece a million, 300 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,120 Speaker 1: my my nephew room and their siblings. So when I 301 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 1: had the crazies for the weekend, we went to this 302 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:38,920 Speaker 1: a park down the street from my house. This park 303 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 1: is one of the most beautiful parks. It's called Branchford Park. 304 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 1: In it now is not the season is done for 305 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,120 Speaker 1: cherry blossoms, but it has some of the biggest collections 306 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:52,200 Speaker 1: of cherry blossom trees in the nation, so it gets 307 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:55,120 Speaker 1: flooded during that time. And so for the first time, 308 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,520 Speaker 1: like a Milion said I want to have a picnic, 309 00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, So we just took a 310 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,320 Speaker 1: comforter out and I got them Domino's pizza because I'm 311 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:07,920 Speaker 1: that kind of aunt. I'm like girl and juice boxes 312 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 1: and animal crackers and Superman. Like my husband had had 313 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,920 Speaker 1: bought Amilia for her birthday this bubble machine that had 314 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,200 Speaker 1: took batteries and so you know, I bought some dish 315 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,920 Speaker 1: soap and girl, when I say a time was had, 316 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 1: I was like, the park many is a one minute walk. 317 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 1: I'm like, so wait, why have I not just grabbed 318 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 1: a blanket and come out here before with a book? 319 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: Like you know, But to your point, that's that's really 320 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:35,400 Speaker 1: the beauty of children. It's because it just allowed me 321 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 1: to be like all these things that are right there 322 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 1: and available to me and don't take advantage of. But 323 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 1: kids make you see things differently. Because she was like, no, 324 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,520 Speaker 1: I want to have a picnic, and I want to 325 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,120 Speaker 1: have a bubble bag with the orange stuff. It's meanwhile, 326 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 1: it's like essential oils orange. I don't know where she 327 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 1: gets this stuff from and I want to do some relaxing. 328 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, what is that. She's like, that's why you 329 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 1: sit in the tub. I'm like, what TV are you watching? 330 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 1: But it was so fun, like you know, you were 331 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:01,800 Speaker 1: there where they were jumping in the jumpy that we 332 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:05,760 Speaker 1: haven't when she was by herself, like blow up the 333 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 1: blow up the jumpy for me so I can jump 334 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 1: by myself. They have a Rooman wants to do it. 335 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,240 Speaker 1: But yeah, you know, it's just that kind of thing, 336 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,320 Speaker 1: and it's just yeah, it's it's Children truly are blessings 337 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:19,040 Speaker 1: in that way because they remind you that life is 338 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,360 Speaker 1: a lot more simple that we then we make it, 339 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 1: and there's so many simple joys to be had. You 340 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 1: don't have to do a whole lot, like you know, 341 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 1: the grass is there, the jumpy is there, you know, 342 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:34,880 Speaker 1: like the sunshine is there, the farms are there, and 343 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 1: so yeah, just so I just wanted to like reiterate 344 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,040 Speaker 1: that because I feel like I don't want last week 345 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 1: that you know that that was the only lesson, because 346 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,880 Speaker 1: it's true, there are moments where maybe you're not dreaming 347 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 1: big enough, and they're all moments you're just not dreaming 348 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,160 Speaker 1: more meaningful enough, you know. 349 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 2: So, yeah, that's beautiful. Thanks for revisiting that because I 350 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 2: think I mean I had I had people texting and 351 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 2: dming us just tell how powerful that episode was for them. 352 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:02,440 Speaker 2: So I really encourage y'all. If you haven't heard it yet, 353 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 2: go back and listen to last week's show. It says 354 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,760 Speaker 2: I think the title is Dreams Are Free, and it's 355 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,120 Speaker 2: a really good conversation if do you say some myself 356 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,879 Speaker 2: about yeah, just about the way that the possibilities we 357 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:17,439 Speaker 2: see for ourselves. So yes, lovely, Well let's take a 358 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,080 Speaker 2: quick break, and why don't we come back, And when 359 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,679 Speaker 2: we come back, We've got Helen No of Capital Benchmark 360 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 2: Partners on the line to talk about how to say 361 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,200 Speaker 2: for these kids y'all. So I'm very excited about this 362 00:17:28,240 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 2: conversation with Helen and we will be right back with that. Okay, guys, 363 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,640 Speaker 2: we are so so happy to invite Helen to have 364 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,080 Speaker 2: Helen know back to the show. 365 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,640 Speaker 3: Hey, Helen, Hello, thank you for having me back. 366 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:17,440 Speaker 2: Of course live from Atlanta, Georgia. So for y'all who 367 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:20,359 Speaker 2: don't know, Helen has been my financial planner, my go 368 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,000 Speaker 2: to financial guru for I don't know how many years 369 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:27,439 Speaker 2: now do five from every milestone. I think the first 370 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,719 Speaker 2: milestone was getting married. I was moving in with my 371 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,679 Speaker 2: in laws and I was trying to figure out how 372 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,240 Speaker 2: to say for a wedding, and then it was marriage, 373 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 2: and then buying a house, and then baby. I feel 374 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:46,360 Speaker 2: like we had one big planning call Car Car memories. 375 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:47,080 Speaker 1: Did she get a dog? 376 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 2: Basically for the dog? 377 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 1: I know your home meeting about the dog? 378 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,119 Speaker 2: Well not no, it's because Helen has always the reason. 379 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,480 Speaker 2: I mean, of course I love. We were just talking 380 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,679 Speaker 2: about how many seeing Helen is and how she founded 381 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:05,480 Speaker 2: her own firm, Capital Benchmark Partners a long time ago, 382 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,119 Speaker 2: and when I started working with her. The real reason 383 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,639 Speaker 2: I needed a financial planner. I mean, I know some stuff. 384 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,200 Speaker 2: I know a thing or two. It's probably like when 385 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,439 Speaker 2: a doctor has a patient who's like, I don't know, 386 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,920 Speaker 2: I don't know not to not to, not to crap 387 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,199 Speaker 2: on dentists, but you know someone who knows something but 388 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,080 Speaker 2: they're not like you know, an expert in that field. 389 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,639 Speaker 2: Probably really annoying to Helen, but my husband. The reason 390 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:29,320 Speaker 2: Helen and I needed to work together was really just 391 00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:31,919 Speaker 2: so that she could get she could be the mediator 392 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:36,400 Speaker 2: between me and husband, and so even though I knew 393 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 2: exactly what I wanted to do, Helen has been on 394 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 2: many many a call, Google, hangout or whatnot, kind of 395 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:46,960 Speaker 2: just like watching me really just need her to tell 396 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:54,439 Speaker 2: my husband, she's right, let's just do it. That's what 397 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,920 Speaker 2: you're good for. And I mean, honestly though for couples, 398 00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 2: that's that's for me. What has been so useful about 399 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:04,080 Speaker 2: having Helen it's having that third opinion. But today we're 400 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,120 Speaker 2: here to talk about not just for you know, it's 401 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,640 Speaker 2: sort of about relationships. But first comes love, then comes 402 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:13,119 Speaker 2: you know, traditionally marriage, and then a baby. And we we, 403 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,399 Speaker 2: honestly Helen, get the same question over and over and 404 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,720 Speaker 2: over again. And it's very simple from our listeners. How 405 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,280 Speaker 2: do we say for our children? And they know some 406 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 2: stuff too. They know about the same kind of accounts 407 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,880 Speaker 2: that I'm aware of. And I think Tiffany is too 408 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:30,880 Speaker 2: your college safe? Yeah five two nine plan, you got 409 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,160 Speaker 2: your your what now? 410 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,400 Speaker 1: Custodial account? 411 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:38,679 Speaker 2: Custodial accounts? And should we open a brokerage account? But 412 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 2: there is this like there's this heightened sense of awareness 413 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,639 Speaker 2: among our listeners. I can tell that we should be 414 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,680 Speaker 2: putting away and we talk about it too for black 415 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,159 Speaker 2: and brown families, how important it is to be building 416 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,879 Speaker 2: wealth not just for today but for tomorrow and for 417 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:56,119 Speaker 2: your children's children hopefully. So people are wanting to do that, 418 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,119 Speaker 2: and they want to do it the right way. So 419 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,600 Speaker 2: I'd love to just jump in with that general question 420 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,119 Speaker 2: because I know that you have some very strong, interesting, 421 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 2: different opinions about the right way to say for a 422 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:13,680 Speaker 2: child's future. Is it the magical five two nine plan, 423 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 2: is it a regular savings account? 424 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:16,359 Speaker 3: What? 425 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,640 Speaker 2: Like where do people even start helen. 426 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 3: Well before we even get into because like to me, 427 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,880 Speaker 3: the five twenty nine accounts and the custodial accounts, those 428 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:29,320 Speaker 3: are all tactics, they're not really strategies. So when I 429 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 3: interview clients before they even come on board and we 430 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,640 Speaker 3: talk about all the different strategies and tactics, I ask 431 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,680 Speaker 3: the question, like, what are you really trying to say 432 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,639 Speaker 3: for your kids? What type of money lessons do you 433 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:45,080 Speaker 3: want to teach your baby or your child or whatever. 434 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,359 Speaker 3: So it really starts with that, you know, and I 435 00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:50,600 Speaker 3: think a lot of people don't really think about when 436 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 3: I ask them, oh, what do you want to say 437 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:53,520 Speaker 3: for your children? They say, oh, I want to say 438 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,720 Speaker 3: for college, but a college is just a one time 439 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 3: event in your child's life. Do you want to say, 440 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 3: you know, I think about their entire lifespan. Do I 441 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,760 Speaker 3: want to leave a legacy for my kid? And you 442 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:08,480 Speaker 3: might not, you know, especially for me right now, I 443 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,320 Speaker 3: haven't even thought that far. But the answer to that 444 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,480 Speaker 3: question for me personally is yes, I want to save. 445 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,959 Speaker 3: I want to leave something for my son when I 446 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:19,640 Speaker 3: pass and go on to wherever my next life or whatever. 447 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,320 Speaker 3: You know, I think about childcare costs, like saving for 448 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,040 Speaker 3: that and preparing, you know, if I want to put 449 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,320 Speaker 3: my kid into private school for elementary school or high school. 450 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:34,520 Speaker 3: I can't even think past like tomorrow or when he turns, 451 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,400 Speaker 3: you know, one year. So even before you think about 452 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,840 Speaker 3: like how much money I want to save, and I 453 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 3: would really think more about the different life stages you 454 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:49,040 Speaker 3: want to supplement for your child or for your niece 455 00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:51,879 Speaker 3: or nephew. Like even before I had my own child, 456 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,840 Speaker 3: my son, I was saving up for my nieces and 457 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:58,520 Speaker 3: nephews just in case I, you know, died before I 458 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,200 Speaker 3: had a child. And I want to save for them 459 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:03,919 Speaker 3: for their college when they do go, if they do 460 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:05,040 Speaker 3: go to college. 461 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 1: If not. 462 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:08,399 Speaker 3: I have a separate investment account for them, right, So 463 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,719 Speaker 3: really it starts with a question of what phase in 464 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:15,840 Speaker 3: your child's life do you want to financially supplement? 465 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 2: Why do people What is it about? Because I think 466 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,199 Speaker 2: you and I have talked about this before, just a 467 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,280 Speaker 2: tiny bit, tiny bit. We haven't had like the big 468 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,600 Speaker 2: you know, planning call for rio and everything. But what 469 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 2: is it? I did immediately skip to college. That was 470 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,399 Speaker 2: the first thing my husband did after I had the baby, 471 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,399 Speaker 2: And to be honest, he got a lot of stuff 472 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:38,199 Speaker 2: done that maybe wasn't the most financially wise while I 473 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:40,679 Speaker 2: was either right about to have a baby or just 474 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,960 Speaker 2: after he leased a car and then he opened a 475 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,080 Speaker 2: five two We can talk with that later. He opened 476 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,879 Speaker 2: a five two nine plan immediately and it just felt 477 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 2: like the right thing to do. But I think a 478 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,680 Speaker 2: lot of people just jump to that college shavings plan. 479 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,159 Speaker 2: Do they have I been? Is Is it like Instagram 480 00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 2: ad awareness? Again? Like I haven't been hypnotized or have 481 00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:00,680 Speaker 2: I been? 482 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:01,960 Speaker 1: What is it about? 483 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:02,119 Speaker 3: Like? 484 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 2: The marketing budget really good for these plans? Why does 485 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,440 Speaker 2: everybody talk about them as the way to save for kids? 486 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:11,359 Speaker 3: Mandy Boom The marketing for five twenty nine accounts. I 487 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:16,360 Speaker 3: think it's completely blown out of proportion. I mean, yes, 488 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 3: and they emphasize a student loan debt. Oh my gosh, 489 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 3: your student loan debt and all this stuff you need 490 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:23,160 Speaker 3: to prepare your kid in order to pay for college. 491 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,840 Speaker 3: But I go back to do you even want to 492 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:29,320 Speaker 3: encourage your kids to go to college these days? Do 493 00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:34,119 Speaker 3: you even I'm serious? You know, what do you want 494 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:38,480 Speaker 3: to teach them about investing in education? Because education is 495 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,920 Speaker 3: an investment, right, whether it's paid by our tax dollars 496 00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:46,920 Speaker 3: or my parents' dollars, or my aunts or uncle's dollars 497 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,280 Speaker 3: or grandparents' dollars. I think I would take it as 498 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 3: an opportunity to teach your kid as this is the 499 00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:55,399 Speaker 3: first type of investment you're going to make. What is 500 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,080 Speaker 3: the return on that investment that you make? Right? So 501 00:24:58,359 --> 00:24:59,719 Speaker 3: a lot of my clients they'll say, oh, I want 502 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:04,080 Speaker 3: to hunt percent pay for their tuition and everything. I said, okay, 503 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,919 Speaker 3: but what about all the other ancillary costs when they 504 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:11,320 Speaker 3: do go to college, like their meals, their health insurance, 505 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,320 Speaker 3: their cell phone plan. What if they boomerang back home 506 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 3: after they finished college? How do you plan for that? 507 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,680 Speaker 3: So what do you want to teach them a life lesson, 508 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:23,160 Speaker 3: Maybe you take out fifty percent and have them take out, 509 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,400 Speaker 3: you know, fifty you know, half of the other loan 510 00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:27,719 Speaker 3: if they aren't able to get scholarships. So I mean 511 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:31,320 Speaker 3: that there's like a zillion different questions. I think that 512 00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:35,240 Speaker 3: there's a lot of missed opportunity to teach your kids 513 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,479 Speaker 3: as they're growing up on what the cost of education 514 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 3: really means. And when I say return on that investment 515 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,480 Speaker 3: is once they graduate college, will they be able to 516 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,880 Speaker 3: make enough money to pay back their loans if they 517 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,399 Speaker 3: are getting or taking loans out to pay for that 518 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:53,240 Speaker 3: educational investment. 519 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,359 Speaker 2: But yeah, I think what you're saying is almost like 520 00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,240 Speaker 2: I guess for us, it felt like, oh, we open 521 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,960 Speaker 2: this account, Okay, cool, we did something tick that box. 522 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,000 Speaker 2: But that can't be the beginning and the end of 523 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,160 Speaker 2: saving for a kid, right. It's the harder to tick 524 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:13,119 Speaker 2: off your checklist kind of stuff like teaching them the 525 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,800 Speaker 2: value of saving and that things cost money and how 526 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,160 Speaker 2: loans work. You know that they have to be paid. 527 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:20,879 Speaker 3: Back, right, it's not free. 528 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,359 Speaker 2: That's another question we get is like what are those 529 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 2: you know you have a ten month old. I was 530 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:28,800 Speaker 2: just there. My son's a year and a half, tips 531 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 2: gotten nieces and nephews and or a niece and a nephews. 532 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:37,560 Speaker 2: Are I'm not multiply? I do, Okay, thanks a fact check, 533 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:42,080 Speaker 2: but like from an early age and my in my 534 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 2: my other you know, Helen is one guru of my 535 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,119 Speaker 2: life or I know, we don't like the word guru, 536 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:50,680 Speaker 2: but one of my my my my go toss as 537 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,040 Speaker 2: Tiff says. And my other one is my therapist, and 538 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:56,399 Speaker 2: she's constantly like telling me, Mandy, You've got to like 539 00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 2: you've got to stop getting ahead of yourself and thinking 540 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,600 Speaker 2: too far ahead and just like be in the moment, 541 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,760 Speaker 2: because I'm already trying to. My kid is seventeen months old, 542 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,400 Speaker 2: and I'm like, do I start teaching him that? Do 543 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,480 Speaker 2: I try and charge him for his snacks? 544 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 1: I don't know, I do. 545 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:19,400 Speaker 2: I don't know where's your head at as a new mom. 546 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:25,200 Speaker 3: Oh man, I'll be frank with you. I don't Between 547 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,639 Speaker 3: my husband and we don't have a five twenty nine account. 548 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,760 Speaker 3: If he does go to college, I think we would 549 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,520 Speaker 3: plan to cash flow it. I would rather invest in 550 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,560 Speaker 3: my business and in my career to be able to 551 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:39,360 Speaker 3: cash flow that education meaning I don't want to put 552 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:42,520 Speaker 3: all my money into one particular account and hope that 553 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,919 Speaker 3: he'll go to college so I can use it later. Right, 554 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,199 Speaker 3: That's not the way that I plan my money. I 555 00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,560 Speaker 3: plan out because I have you know, he's ten months old. 556 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:56,439 Speaker 3: I have eighteen more years technically to get my career 557 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,320 Speaker 3: together so that I have enough money by the time 558 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:01,959 Speaker 3: he goes So well, if he does get get in 559 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,400 Speaker 3: for free, and if he does decide to go to college, great, 560 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:08,720 Speaker 3: but by that time, hopefully I'll have significantly higher revenue 561 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,040 Speaker 3: and income to where I can just cash flow that 562 00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,800 Speaker 3: and not be locked into some account that I can't 563 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,680 Speaker 3: really tap into, you know, without worrying about taxes and 564 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,600 Speaker 3: penalties and all this stuff. If I wanted to use 565 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:22,320 Speaker 3: that money to buy him a car, for example. 566 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:26,240 Speaker 1: Helen, thank you, because I always felt I never wanted 567 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,760 Speaker 1: to say, like out loud that I'm not a big 568 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,879 Speaker 1: fan of the five twenty nine because of that, because 569 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,479 Speaker 1: I'm like, what if especially and maybe like you know, 570 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,879 Speaker 1: five ten years ago, because everyone like you have to 571 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:41,480 Speaker 1: go to college, right, but that you know, that language 572 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,200 Speaker 1: has been changing because we're all kind of like, do 573 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:45,960 Speaker 1: you yeah, So I don't have five twenty nine for 574 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:49,440 Speaker 1: any of my nieces and nephews, or even for my 575 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,440 Speaker 1: stepdaughter who's fourteen. We planned a cash flow we have 576 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,320 Speaker 1: we have a custodial account, yeah, for them, you know, 577 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:59,240 Speaker 1: because I'm like, well, whatever comes, I'd rather have that money. 578 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,320 Speaker 1: I want the flexibit need to say this is just 579 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,600 Speaker 1: money for you. Whatever you looks like, you know that 580 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 1: I'm not kind of backed in. And the only thing 581 00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,480 Speaker 1: I will say that I do like about five twenty nine, 582 00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 1: at least now, is that now you can use it 583 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,520 Speaker 1: for more than just college. You can also use it 584 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:14,680 Speaker 1: for like day care and like private school and things 585 00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,640 Speaker 1: like that. But other than that, honestly, I'm not a fan, 586 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:19,320 Speaker 1: and I don't have any five twenty nine plans, and 587 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,920 Speaker 1: I don't plan to for my hopefully upcoming baby. 588 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, from a strategic standpoint, if you are, you are 589 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:29,000 Speaker 3: definitely planning to send your kids off to private school. 590 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:30,720 Speaker 3: You can use up to ten grand to pay for 591 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:35,000 Speaker 3: private school now, but you know that can change any day, 592 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,479 Speaker 3: depending on who's in Congress and whether or not they 593 00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:40,800 Speaker 3: change the laws around that. So I'm not going to 594 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:45,120 Speaker 3: put my eggs in that basket. So I'd rather invest 595 00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:46,800 Speaker 3: in my career so I can make more money so 596 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,200 Speaker 3: I can afford college later on. So I'd rather work 597 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 3: on cash flowing that future. To answer your broader question 598 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,120 Speaker 3: of how do I say for my kid, I would 599 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,440 Speaker 3: take college out of that and really think about the 600 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:01,680 Speaker 3: timeline of your children growing up? What do you want 601 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:02,560 Speaker 3: a gift to them? 602 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,160 Speaker 2: You know, do you know how much Helen? Has anyone 603 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:06,320 Speaker 2: told you how much camp costs? 604 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:06,600 Speaker 3: Yet? 605 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:11,600 Speaker 2: Because I cannot? I was like, they and then and 606 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,320 Speaker 2: then the daycare that you pay, they don't, they don't 607 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:17,240 Speaker 2: they no, no, no, but they don't. They don't. They 608 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,160 Speaker 2: make you pay even if the kid don't go. So 609 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,760 Speaker 2: I'm like, so if they go to camp, I'm paying 610 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,920 Speaker 2: like five g's and then I still got to pay 611 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:27,880 Speaker 2: the rent at the time. What so, yes, I hear you. 612 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:31,840 Speaker 2: It's very costly, even before college. So yeah, how let's 613 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:34,040 Speaker 2: do it. Let's talk about it. How do you start? 614 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 3: I would put it into a timeline, and you know, 615 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,880 Speaker 3: I have my notes written here, but definitely childcare between 616 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,440 Speaker 3: the ages of one to ten? Right are you going 617 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:45,400 Speaker 3: to hire a nanny? Like right now? It's very expensive. 618 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,640 Speaker 3: I look at my clients and they're dropping you know, 619 00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:51,920 Speaker 3: at minimum twelve hundred to twenty five hundred dollars a 620 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:55,600 Speaker 3: month on childcare. That's not even full time for the 621 00:30:55,720 --> 00:31:00,920 Speaker 3: entire week. And to me, that's so much money. Definitely 622 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:04,320 Speaker 3: planning for that, and then, like you said, the kids camps, 623 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:09,080 Speaker 3: the fees for different activities. I want to I want 624 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 3: my kid to have a rich life. I want him 625 00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:14,160 Speaker 3: to you know, just think about myself and what you 626 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,120 Speaker 3: were asking earlier. I was thinking about, like, oh my god, 627 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:19,320 Speaker 3: what if I want to go to hockey camp. I mean, 628 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,959 Speaker 3: that's not cheap. All of that equipment is very expensive. 629 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,040 Speaker 3: Those are the things that I want to be able 630 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:28,720 Speaker 3: to afford, not necessarily, you know, thinking eighteen years from now, 631 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:33,760 Speaker 3: and then just you know, subsidizing one very small sliver 632 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:37,000 Speaker 3: of their life. What if they get married one day 633 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,960 Speaker 3: or you know, do you want to leave any money 634 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,360 Speaker 3: for that? That's how I would plan it is in 635 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,480 Speaker 3: different tranches of their life, you know, college, high school, 636 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,640 Speaker 3: if they go to the military and get out, like 637 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:53,080 Speaker 3: you know, marriage, their middle age, leaving a legacy for them, 638 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,720 Speaker 3: all of those different significant life stages that also happen, 639 00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:58,800 Speaker 3: and not just necessarily for college. 640 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,400 Speaker 2: And where do you perk it is it like a 641 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:05,160 Speaker 2: custodial savings account, just you know, full stop, just to 642 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 2: make it easy and make sure that it's easily accessible. 643 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:13,280 Speaker 3: I would say, yes, you can start. So with our clients, 644 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,160 Speaker 3: we typically just set up like and if it's husband now, 645 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,920 Speaker 3: we typically set up a joint brokerage account and they 646 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:22,920 Speaker 3: can start investing money in there, you know, setting money 647 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:27,800 Speaker 3: in there. Or if you want to have your child 648 00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:30,800 Speaker 3: inherit some money by the age of eighteen or twenty one, 649 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:33,160 Speaker 3: then you can set up what's called a UTMA account 650 00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:36,600 Speaker 3: and they will that money will automatically transfer to them 651 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,800 Speaker 3: once they are of legal age, and you can start 652 00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,680 Speaker 3: teaching them how to invest in there at that time 653 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,760 Speaker 3: and hand over that account to them. I'm not like 654 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:48,400 Speaker 3: totally against five twenty nine plans. You can trickle some 655 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:50,800 Speaker 3: money in their chest in case they do go to college. 656 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,840 Speaker 3: But you can also utilize roth diaries too. I think 657 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:59,360 Speaker 3: that's completely I wouldn't say unpopular, but less promoted or 658 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 3: less marked did out there as a strategy. You can 659 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 3: use some money in your wroth ira to pay the 660 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,320 Speaker 3: school tuition directly. 661 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,160 Speaker 2: You know, and if they're roth IRA as a parent 662 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,400 Speaker 2: or one opened up in your child's name. 663 00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, because I have roth diary for Alyssa. 664 00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, you can do both, okay, as long as it 665 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:21,440 Speaker 3: goes to the find the educational institution you're using it 666 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:22,280 Speaker 3: for for tuition. 667 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,600 Speaker 2: Is this the part where it's like you're going to 668 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,320 Speaker 2: the dentist and you start just confessing all of your 669 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:30,120 Speaker 2: dental sins, Like I'm so sorry, I haven't been classing 670 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,800 Speaker 2: and yeah, I've just been eating a lot of acetic foods. 671 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,120 Speaker 2: So Helen, we haven't talked in a minute, okay, but 672 00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:39,120 Speaker 2: like about our finances and so one little teeny tiny 673 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,959 Speaker 2: thing that I did that was wrong. It's I have 674 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,720 Speaker 2: a baby, and like I said, I'm getting I'm just 675 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,600 Speaker 2: jumping the gun. I'm I'm I'm listening to my my 676 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,800 Speaker 2: go tos and I'm just flying in the face with 677 00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:50,920 Speaker 2: their advice. But I jumped the gun a little bit 678 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,640 Speaker 2: and I opened a It actually turns out I showed 679 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,400 Speaker 2: this on the show. Actually I thought I had opened 680 00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:58,680 Speaker 2: a custodial roth Ira for my son because that was 681 00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:01,400 Speaker 2: the smart thing to do, only to find out, dummy, 682 00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:03,880 Speaker 2: like you need to actually earn an income as a chilild, 683 00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:07,720 Speaker 2: you know. So so I was like lips and actually 684 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:10,920 Speaker 2: it was our Brown Ambition listeners who DM me. They 685 00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:15,360 Speaker 2: were like, Mandra, did you like what? So? I? Yeah, anyway, 686 00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:17,160 Speaker 2: so I did go back and I realized I had 687 00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:20,359 Speaker 2: just opened a brokerage account, not like a a roth Ira. 688 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,720 Speaker 2: But let's but let's so it's it's not a terrible mistake. 689 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:25,839 Speaker 2: But I was like, but clearly I need to talk 690 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:29,000 Speaker 2: to you to really just get things. I need to 691 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:30,640 Speaker 2: just stop trying to do things at three in the 692 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:35,560 Speaker 2: morning when the panic attacks happened. But let's talk about, Yeah, 693 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,319 Speaker 2: the differences between what you just mentioned and like a 694 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:42,640 Speaker 2: roth Ira a brokerage account, and what was the other 695 00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:44,359 Speaker 2: one you said was another option. 696 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:48,320 Speaker 3: UTM, A unified Yeah, and so so that that account 697 00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:51,239 Speaker 3: when you say custodial account, that's what I think of. 698 00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:53,640 Speaker 3: And then so do you want me to explain the 699 00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:55,720 Speaker 3: differences between the three that I just mentioned? 700 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:56,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. 701 00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,879 Speaker 3: Okay, So the WRATH is a retirement account. I race 702 00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,719 Speaker 3: for individual retirement accounts, so it can be under your 703 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:06,799 Speaker 3: name or you know, my niece who's sixteen years old. 704 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,680 Speaker 3: Now I can open one for her. She has earned 705 00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:10,959 Speaker 3: income and I put money in there, so I can 706 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:14,440 Speaker 3: technically hire her under my company's name and call her 707 00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:18,319 Speaker 3: an assistant basically and open up a Rothford and pay 708 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 3: her some sort of income, and you'll go into there. 709 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,439 Speaker 3: For example, that technically is her retirement account. I can't 710 00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,960 Speaker 3: tap into it. It's under her name and everything and 711 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:30,279 Speaker 3: put money in there. So if you have a wrath 712 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,719 Speaker 3: iray for yourself, let's just say your kid doesn't go 713 00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,480 Speaker 3: to college and or they get a full ride or whatever, 714 00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:39,440 Speaker 3: you still have your retirement money. So you're killing two 715 00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:42,080 Speaker 3: birds with one stone there. You know, if one event 716 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:43,960 Speaker 3: doesn't happen, at least you can still use it for 717 00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,680 Speaker 3: your future and you won't be penalized for it. So 718 00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:49,360 Speaker 3: it's one of those exceptions. And you can still invest 719 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,279 Speaker 3: in all of these different accounts that I'm mentioning. You 720 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:55,560 Speaker 3: can buy any type of well depending on where you're 721 00:35:56,280 --> 00:36:00,560 Speaker 3: the financial institution, obviously, but again there the the next 722 00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,320 Speaker 3: question always comes of like which of these three accounts 723 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,279 Speaker 3: are will get me the most return? That's not the 724 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:09,880 Speaker 3: correct question. The correct question is you can invest in 725 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,399 Speaker 3: each of those accounts. What investment makes sense in each 726 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,680 Speaker 3: of those accounts that you can purchase, So you put 727 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,200 Speaker 3: one thousand dollars into each of those accounts, but it 728 00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:20,719 Speaker 3: really just depends on the investment that will yield you 729 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:24,719 Speaker 3: quote unquote the best return, So that's the WRATH. And 730 00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:28,680 Speaker 3: then you can invest in the UTMA as well. So 731 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:32,720 Speaker 3: that's an account that where you are the primary account holder. 732 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,120 Speaker 3: And then by the time your kid or whoever you 733 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,560 Speaker 3: list on there, that's a minor. That's what the m 734 00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:43,080 Speaker 3: in UTMA stands for. It's an account, an investment account 735 00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:46,839 Speaker 3: for minors. And then once they reach of age in 736 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:50,520 Speaker 3: your state, so here in georgia's the age of twenty one, 737 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:54,520 Speaker 3: then you have to relinquish that money to your child. Okay, 738 00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:58,560 Speaker 3: I would not recommend you putting too much money into 739 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,720 Speaker 3: that account unless you want to give a lot away. 740 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:05,880 Speaker 3: Usually my recommendation for the utilization of that account is 741 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,000 Speaker 3: to teach your kids, hey, you know what we've been 742 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:09,759 Speaker 3: saving for you this entire time. You can use it 743 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,360 Speaker 3: to buy a car. That would be like a first 744 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:17,680 Speaker 3: investment account that your kid can can own themselves. And 745 00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:21,080 Speaker 3: then of course the regular brokerage account or a KA 746 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,839 Speaker 3: investment account that you can hold jointly with as many 747 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:27,360 Speaker 3: people as you want or just on your own. You know, 748 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,720 Speaker 3: you only pay taxes when you there's any capital gains 749 00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:35,560 Speaker 3: or uh investment income inside of that account, and you 750 00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:37,919 Speaker 3: can withdraw the money at any time. But the roth 751 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,320 Speaker 3: iary you can't withdraw money at any time because technically 752 00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:41,400 Speaker 3: it's a retirement account. 753 00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:44,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, what about like when you're when you're investing 754 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:47,800 Speaker 2: with the kid, Because I've heard friends, you know, they'll 755 00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,239 Speaker 2: I feel like there's always that anecdote of, well, you know, 756 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:55,440 Speaker 2: my I just asked my son or my daughter or 757 00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:59,440 Speaker 2: my non binary child. It's fine that that you know, 758 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:01,600 Speaker 2: you love me Donald's or you love Coca Cola, so 759 00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:04,000 Speaker 2: let's buy some stock and let's buy some shares. But 760 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:07,279 Speaker 2: it's that I don't feel like that's maybe the best 761 00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:10,279 Speaker 2: way to go about teaching about the market, especially if, 762 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,239 Speaker 2: like what you talked about is true, you're trying to 763 00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,400 Speaker 2: maximize your long term gains, and what are you putting 764 00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,560 Speaker 2: in these accounts or what are you investing in? Can 765 00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:20,040 Speaker 2: we kind of talk about, like for young children and 766 00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:22,719 Speaker 2: then adolescents and the teens, you know, what types of 767 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:26,319 Speaker 2: vehicles you typically recommend folks invest in. 768 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I talked about this in the last 769 00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,720 Speaker 3: the last time we recorded, So I like to refer 770 00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:37,759 Speaker 3: to or use the analogy of cooking when we're investing. 771 00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:42,520 Speaker 3: Is you know, with most recipes, you always get salt 772 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,560 Speaker 3: and pepper for the entree, right, so you add your 773 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:49,279 Speaker 3: salt and pepper into the into your investment portfolio, and 774 00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:51,759 Speaker 3: then anything else sexier. I like to call the paprico 775 00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:54,720 Speaker 3: or adding the spices to your portfolio for that extra 776 00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:59,560 Speaker 3: oof and to boaster the growth inside the portfolio. 777 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:03,560 Speaker 2: And see bagel seasoning from Trader Joe's. Yes, okay, yeah, gotcha, 778 00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:04,960 Speaker 2: Yes that's good. 779 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,560 Speaker 3: Oh so when I say salt and pepper, I mean 780 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:15,000 Speaker 3: like your typical dividend paying investments diversified portfolio ETFs. I'm 781 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:18,279 Speaker 3: not a huge fan of mutual funds inside of your 782 00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:23,440 Speaker 3: portfolio because they typically have higher management fees and ETFs 783 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,640 Speaker 3: are a little bit more tax efficient too, But that's 784 00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:29,840 Speaker 3: completely a different episode. Yeah, so, so just add some 785 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,480 Speaker 3: salt and pepper. But I like the idea of teaching 786 00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:35,839 Speaker 3: your kid, Hey, do you do you like apple products? Well, 787 00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,040 Speaker 3: let's buy a couple of shares. This is how much 788 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:40,239 Speaker 3: you know we'll put in there. Let's just say a 789 00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,360 Speaker 3: thousand dollars. Let's see how much it grows. This is 790 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:45,080 Speaker 3: what a dividend is this is? And how is that 791 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:50,160 Speaker 3: different than you know, growth inside of a portfolio. So 792 00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:54,120 Speaker 3: just to keep the portfolio diversified, I think it's great 793 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:58,719 Speaker 3: to invest in some sort of you know, bonds or 794 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:04,520 Speaker 3: fixed income slash equity market mixture as your salt and 795 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:08,360 Speaker 3: pepper to the portfolio, but then adding in your special 796 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,360 Speaker 3: interests with your child or your niece or nephew whomever, 797 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:16,680 Speaker 3: minor child and ask him like, hey, let's let me 798 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,880 Speaker 3: teach you a little bit about investing. What money can 799 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:21,680 Speaker 3: really do for you? You know, Okay, you earn the money. 800 00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:24,960 Speaker 3: Here's some money to do the laundry or whatever it is. 801 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,879 Speaker 3: What would you like to buy in your portfolio? Now 802 00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,640 Speaker 3: that this is you know, you earned your money. Here's 803 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:33,359 Speaker 3: your ten dollars, put it into this account. Let's watch 804 00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:35,719 Speaker 3: it grow. Let me let me teach you how to 805 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:38,440 Speaker 3: read these different charts. Let me teach you, you know, 806 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:41,040 Speaker 3: how do you to go from ten dollars to twenty dollars? 807 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:41,480 Speaker 1: Right? 808 00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:43,279 Speaker 3: And the within what time frame? 809 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:47,520 Speaker 2: So if I feel like Roman is probably already managing 810 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:52,080 Speaker 2: his own investments, but what has have you? They're wait 811 00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:56,200 Speaker 2: your needs a nephew there three and then say so fa. 812 00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:59,200 Speaker 1: Milias four and Lily is two and a half. 813 00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:03,160 Speaker 2: Okay, so what's your mean? I know that obviously their 814 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:05,440 Speaker 2: parents part like, hey, budget needs to like chill out, 815 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:09,520 Speaker 2: our kids are a little but how young is too young? 816 00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:10,760 Speaker 2: Do you feel like now. 817 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:13,120 Speaker 1: I mean daughters right away, like the moment they were born. 818 00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:16,560 Speaker 1: I was like, hey, you know, Angelie, I want to 819 00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:20,440 Speaker 1: open up a Custodia account for my niece is a nephew. 820 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:21,960 Speaker 1: And what I used to I used to put like 821 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,719 Speaker 1: it started off as savings accounts until it was enough 822 00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,600 Speaker 1: to really like I thought invest yeah, and I used 823 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:30,719 Speaker 1: to put like fifty bucks a month, and then Angelie 824 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:33,360 Speaker 1: was like, or you can just put money in annually 825 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,799 Speaker 1: because I was like I don't know why I was 826 00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,799 Speaker 1: doing it like that, and she was like I was like, oh, yeah, 827 00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:41,200 Speaker 1: that makes sense. So that's what we do now that 828 00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:44,520 Speaker 1: every year we make a lump sum transfer to the 829 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:49,759 Speaker 1: kids accounts, including Alissa, and also to a Superman has 830 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:52,879 Speaker 1: a has a young nephew that we also do that for. 831 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:57,120 Speaker 1: And yeah, we chose. I specifically was like I didn't 832 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,080 Speaker 1: want to do a five twenty nine plan only because 833 00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:03,200 Speaker 1: I just didn't know what college held especially for the 834 00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:06,480 Speaker 1: super young. Wee see at least like Supergirl is fourteen, 835 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,160 Speaker 1: so she's going to college. You know, she's not so 836 00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:11,520 Speaker 1: far removed. But I mean Roman is five, We don't 837 00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:11,960 Speaker 1: even know. 838 00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:17,720 Speaker 2: You know, he's definitely gonna get some scholarship he's got 839 00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:18,320 Speaker 2: or something. 840 00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,680 Speaker 1: No, my nephew is like this well, I mean when 841 00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,360 Speaker 1: I always think about his father is a doctor, his 842 00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:26,799 Speaker 1: mother's engineer, and the way I'm just like he's telling time, 843 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:28,680 Speaker 1: I'm like, I didn't tell time until I was in 844 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:32,000 Speaker 1: fifth grade. And he's fine, so you know, but honestly 845 00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:33,799 Speaker 1: then too, we just don't know, like what's you know, 846 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,160 Speaker 1: I don't know what the future is going to entail 847 00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:39,359 Speaker 1: for higher education, So for them, I especially didn't want that. 848 00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:43,200 Speaker 1: Plus my husband and I can afford to bankroll Alyssa's 849 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,719 Speaker 1: Supergirl's college, like you know, we know we're going to 850 00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:50,640 Speaker 1: pay for it, and that's the ideal. But yeah, I mean, 851 00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:52,040 Speaker 1: I couldn't tell you. I'm I even gonna lie. I 852 00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:53,880 Speaker 1: just kind of like we opened up the account. I'm 853 00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:56,279 Speaker 1: sure I knew at one point. I'm not. I know 854 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:59,680 Speaker 1: that I forgot what Angelie was telling me. Our investments 855 00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,799 Speaker 1: are like ninety ten, meaning like we're I'm putting more sure. 856 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,800 Speaker 1: I think we're ninety percent in stocks and ten percent 857 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:07,319 Speaker 1: and like bonds to your point, Helen, because they're so young, 858 00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:11,680 Speaker 1: so there's plenty of time. So for those of you listening, 859 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:16,760 Speaker 1: this this greater risk with stocks, but also greater potential 860 00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:19,880 Speaker 1: return and so that's you know, but we're willing to 861 00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:22,480 Speaker 1: take the risk because they're so young, and I like 862 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:24,759 Speaker 1: myself and my husband are older, so I think we're 863 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:27,920 Speaker 1: pretty conservative. So I think we're like seventy percent, you know. 864 00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:31,239 Speaker 1: A Jelie's like, are you eighty I'm like, I know 865 00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:33,920 Speaker 1: that's pretty conservative for you. 866 00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,360 Speaker 4: I know, she recently pushed us to so she recently 867 00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:39,680 Speaker 4: pushed me to eighty because I'm like, really, like if 868 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:41,560 Speaker 4: I'm like a scaredy cat when it comes to investing, 869 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:43,640 Speaker 4: So she recently like, I think it's time to move 870 00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,279 Speaker 4: to eighty eight because when I saw the return on 871 00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:51,399 Speaker 4: investment that the kids accounts had in twenty twenty, She's like, yeah, yeah, 872 00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:57,480 Speaker 4: we wish, damn you they're rolling in dough. Meanwhile, Aunt 873 00:43:57,640 --> 00:43:59,440 Speaker 4: is like, I guess, I mean my return is obviously 874 00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:01,000 Speaker 4: you know everybody, I mean, you could throw a rock 875 00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,840 Speaker 4: at the wall and get a return in twenty twenty. 876 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:08,920 Speaker 1: But yeah, no to your point aggressive, you know. But 877 00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,839 Speaker 1: to me, the biggest component I hope that everyone who's 878 00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:14,600 Speaker 1: listening is getting is that get you a Helen like 879 00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:18,360 Speaker 1: it No for real, because it's unless you are you 880 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:21,920 Speaker 1: feel very confident on doing on your own. As much 881 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,840 Speaker 1: as Maddy and I know about personal finance, I cannot 882 00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:26,400 Speaker 1: know all the things, nor do I want to keep 883 00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:28,719 Speaker 1: up with all the things. So we each have a 884 00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:33,759 Speaker 1: financial advisor, and so it's important to have guidance when 885 00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:37,320 Speaker 1: it comes to navigating your financial space. It's not for everyone. 886 00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:39,359 Speaker 1: It depends on where you are financially. I will say 887 00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:42,280 Speaker 1: that because you should have a certain amount of money 888 00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:44,640 Speaker 1: to be able to put away obviously, but you know 889 00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:48,160 Speaker 1: when you're ready. Having guidance will enable you to make 890 00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:51,840 Speaker 1: less costly mistakes like I have and Mandy has in 891 00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:53,839 Speaker 1: the past. Helen is one of my go to suit. 892 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:56,040 Speaker 1: There's like three women I always suggest, and she's one 893 00:44:56,040 --> 00:45:00,640 Speaker 1: of them. My mentee, my mentee, she like loves how 894 00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:02,120 Speaker 1: if I gave her and my list of the three, 895 00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:05,280 Speaker 1: I said, it's always important that you interview people for yourself, 896 00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,560 Speaker 1: and she interviewed the three and was like, I love Helen. 897 00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:12,080 Speaker 1: I was like, great choice, and so the budget used 898 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:17,520 Speaker 1: to approved bad. But I'm working on that for I'm 899 00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,800 Speaker 1: proudly now I'm working on like putting together like a 900 00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:23,960 Speaker 1: directory because so many people ask me, because I've started 901 00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,320 Speaker 1: to collect just really good people in the finance industry 902 00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:28,839 Speaker 1: and so yeah, no, Helen is definite nicked one of them. 903 00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:32,480 Speaker 2: Well listen, and in what Tiffany said is true. You 904 00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:35,160 Speaker 2: you you know you should definitely get you a Helen 905 00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:37,839 Speaker 2: or an Angulie, but you have to use them. It's 906 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,720 Speaker 2: just like when I screw up, I got a Helen 907 00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,000 Speaker 2: and I'm still out here googling at three am, like 908 00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:45,920 Speaker 2: to safe. Okay, I know stuff, I know something. 909 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:48,400 Speaker 3: Why didn't you just email me? I don't know, but 910 00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:49,320 Speaker 3: so quick. 911 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,520 Speaker 2: Listen, you know i'd be great, Like your head is 912 00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:56,239 Speaker 2: just a fuzz after children and YadA, YadA, we'll talk. 913 00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:59,640 Speaker 2: We'll talk because Husby still wants this, damn Tesla Helen. 914 00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:04,480 Speaker 2: We gotta in one of those. Yeah, so you have to. 915 00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:08,279 Speaker 2: And I think one of the things Helen that I 916 00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:10,319 Speaker 2: haven't had is like a regular cadence. I think we 917 00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:12,359 Speaker 2: just fell off after we what is it? I got 918 00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:14,880 Speaker 2: the house and then life just life just went crazy. 919 00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:16,759 Speaker 2: But you're right, it's kind of like if you don't 920 00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:18,680 Speaker 2: go to the doctor after a while, you're like things 921 00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:20,680 Speaker 2: confessed her and you don't know about it unless you 922 00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:24,080 Speaker 2: do that check in. So you're right. I think we 923 00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:26,480 Speaker 2: just I need to automate my meetings with you so 924 00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:30,279 Speaker 2: that I can't get in my own way. And at 925 00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:33,080 Speaker 2: this point, financially, I know, early in our relationship it 926 00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,960 Speaker 2: was more of like, okay, you know, let's be judicious, 927 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,440 Speaker 2: at least in my mind because I was in a 928 00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:40,759 Speaker 2: much different place financially. But now I'm just like, the 929 00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:44,759 Speaker 2: choices I'm making today have the potential to reward me 930 00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:47,960 Speaker 2: so much more if I use Helen like I'm just 931 00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:50,960 Speaker 2: I'm literally like wasting money by not talking to Helen 932 00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:55,279 Speaker 2: and actually paying her for her services because she has 933 00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:57,400 Speaker 2: all the knowledge and she can help me make the 934 00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:00,920 Speaker 2: right strategy so well to act. 935 00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,160 Speaker 1: Asked this question, I know someone's gonna ask Helen. How 936 00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:05,600 Speaker 1: do people find Helen's Like what should they be looking for? 937 00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:10,080 Speaker 1: And in what ways do people pay financial advisors like you? 938 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:15,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, some I'm a fee only advisor and there's misconceptions 939 00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:19,040 Speaker 3: or misunderstanding about fee only and fee based. Fee base 940 00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:22,520 Speaker 3: means that you get paid a commission. The advisor gets 941 00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:26,320 Speaker 3: paid a commission and an hourly rate or a subscription 942 00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:30,160 Speaker 3: or percentage of your assets. I don't get paid by commissions. 943 00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:34,080 Speaker 3: I purely just get paid by giving you advice. So 944 00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:36,480 Speaker 3: you can find me on my website. I think I'm 945 00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:39,640 Speaker 3: pretty googleable. Just type in Helen no in go is 946 00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:41,759 Speaker 3: my last name? How you spell and pronounce it is 947 00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:46,560 Speaker 3: no like CEO, and just go to my website Capitol 948 00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:50,200 Speaker 3: Benchmark Partners dot com. But the way we get paid 949 00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,919 Speaker 3: is we charge like attorneys, a retainer fee and then 950 00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:56,640 Speaker 3: an hourly rate, and if you want us to help 951 00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,000 Speaker 3: you manage your investments, then is just a percentage of 952 00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:00,000 Speaker 3: the investment assets. 953 00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:00,959 Speaker 1: But we do not. 954 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:06,000 Speaker 3: Push any products or any commission based investment vehicles or 955 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:06,719 Speaker 3: anything like that. 956 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:12,279 Speaker 2: Where did the other Hellns hang out? You can't help everybody? Yeah, 957 00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:14,080 Speaker 2: where are the other Helens? I found you through the 958 00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,239 Speaker 2: x Y Planning network back in the day, way back 959 00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:18,160 Speaker 2: in the day. But yeah, where do you recommend people 960 00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:21,879 Speaker 2: go to start interviewing and finding different planners for them? 961 00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:25,360 Speaker 3: X Y is a great place You can also go 962 00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,279 Speaker 3: to NAPFA in a PFA, or you can go to 963 00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:32,800 Speaker 3: the Garrett Network. I believe that network is specially for 964 00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,880 Speaker 3: hourly financial planners, so if you're looking for like a 965 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:38,160 Speaker 3: one time plan, that would be a great place to start. 966 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:42,920 Speaker 3: Forbes also has a list of financial planners that you 967 00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:45,719 Speaker 3: can find. The only reason I know this because I'm 968 00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:49,880 Speaker 3: awareless down there too. So yeah, those are three places 969 00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:53,000 Speaker 3: I would just look at first, or the CFP website, 970 00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:56,560 Speaker 3: and I think now you can filter out the type 971 00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:58,839 Speaker 3: of advisor you wanted in what region and all that. 972 00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:01,480 Speaker 2: Okay, awesome. What have it we covered when it comes 973 00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:03,680 Speaker 2: to kids and saving? I mean, I feel like I 974 00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:05,799 Speaker 2: just want to do this episode justice because I know 975 00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:07,759 Speaker 2: we get lots and lots of questions about it, But 976 00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:11,320 Speaker 2: any other big things, Helen, you think we should you know, cover? 977 00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:15,399 Speaker 3: I mean, I just want to reinforce don't don't get 978 00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:20,120 Speaker 3: so narrow focused on just college. Think about the lifestyle 979 00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:22,880 Speaker 3: you want to provide for your kid and all of 980 00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:26,879 Speaker 3: his or her different life stages. Really, I think that's 981 00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:29,840 Speaker 3: the bigger question at play, and what money lessons you 982 00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:31,000 Speaker 3: want to teach your child. 983 00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:33,960 Speaker 2: I love that you've actually helped me a lot because 984 00:49:34,719 --> 00:49:37,399 Speaker 2: I think intellectually, I know it's important to name your 985 00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:39,960 Speaker 2: individual savings goals, but when it came to a kid, 986 00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,960 Speaker 2: you just hearing you mention and getting my gears turning 987 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:50,640 Speaker 2: about activities, you know, babysitting camp, things like that school trip, 988 00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:53,520 Speaker 2: school fees, you know, vacation. I don't want my kid 989 00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:55,359 Speaker 2: to travel for the first amount of the country, yeah, 990 00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:59,040 Speaker 2: vacation until they're well into college. Like so it's like 991 00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:01,359 Speaker 2: having a whole another or me where I need like 992 00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:05,080 Speaker 2: the kid version of all my different goals accounts because 993 00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:07,400 Speaker 2: it also takes away that because one of the things 994 00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:09,440 Speaker 2: I think that hurts people with their savings goals is 995 00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:12,160 Speaker 2: they'll have like a big savings goal and it's just 996 00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:15,040 Speaker 2: like savings or it's you know, maybe it's retirement or 997 00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,400 Speaker 2: maybe not retirement because you're investing for that, but you know, 998 00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:20,959 Speaker 2: some big goal and then then the car breaks down 999 00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:23,239 Speaker 2: or you want to take that vacation and you end 1000 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:27,760 Speaker 2: up dipping into that one generic goal, that one generic 1001 00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:30,520 Speaker 2: savings fund and you kind of feel bad about it 1002 00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:33,839 Speaker 2: or like oh, you know, and this almost like if 1003 00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:36,520 Speaker 2: you break it up and do several goals, then it 1004 00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:38,719 Speaker 2: helps you. Well, one, you realize oh crap, I got 1005 00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:40,719 Speaker 2: to say way more than I thought I did. But 1006 00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:44,480 Speaker 2: then second, like you plan to be you plan to 1007 00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:47,240 Speaker 2: be dipping into it and then replenishing it all the time. 1008 00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:52,200 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, And again, one last thing that I want 1009 00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:55,760 Speaker 3: to add is not just you know, investing in saving 1010 00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:59,000 Speaker 3: for your child doesn't necessarily have to happen through putting 1011 00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:01,720 Speaker 3: money into an account. It can happen through your earning 1012 00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:04,960 Speaker 3: ability too. Like I had mentioned earlier with lu Tiffany 1013 00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,920 Speaker 3: on that one. 1014 00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:11,200 Speaker 2: You can like, yeah, you can invest in yourself, which 1015 00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:14,400 Speaker 2: is true, and it's almost like permission. Once you have 1016 00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:17,600 Speaker 2: a kid doesn't mean that you stop, you know, putting 1017 00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:20,279 Speaker 2: away things for your own because we're still young. I 1018 00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:24,440 Speaker 2: don't remember that we still got things to do ourselves. 1019 00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:26,799 Speaker 2: Life doesn't have to end yet. Thank you for that 1020 00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:30,799 Speaker 2: reminder for sure. Well, Helen, thank you so much for 1021 00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:33,879 Speaker 2: joining us yet again. You guys got to go check 1022 00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:37,440 Speaker 2: out Helen's website. Capital Benchmark Partners will include link in 1023 00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:40,640 Speaker 2: our show notes and where else can they find you? 1024 00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:44,800 Speaker 2: I'm sure Capital Benchmark on all the socials and yeah, 1025 00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:45,840 Speaker 2: she's very googleable. 1026 00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:47,680 Speaker 3: Thank you for having me. 1027 00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:25,960 Speaker 1: And now it's time due poo stell break up, still, 1028 00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:31,720 Speaker 1: break up, boom stop break. Someone told me not last episode, 1029 00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:33,600 Speaker 1: but it was one episode. They were like, girl, you 1030 00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:37,239 Speaker 1: sounded tad. I was like, I wasn't even tired, you know, 1031 00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:40,640 Speaker 1: so judge, you know, but you know that's like the 1032 00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:43,560 Speaker 1: worst one telling like, oh maybe you okay, you look tired. 1033 00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:47,879 Speaker 1: You're like me while you're like I hate when people 1034 00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:50,719 Speaker 1: tell me all look tired. I'm like, I'm actually not, 1035 00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:56,360 Speaker 1: but okay. So anyway, that's a little energy for you. 1036 00:52:56,840 --> 00:53:00,319 Speaker 1: So yes, are you going to boost or are you 1037 00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:03,200 Speaker 1: going to do it? I'm actually mineus like a neutral. 1038 00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:05,040 Speaker 1: It's not a booster break. It's kind of like, yikes, 1039 00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:05,640 Speaker 1: what's going on? 1040 00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:09,040 Speaker 2: Can I do a boost? It's gonna sound pretty generic, 1041 00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:10,920 Speaker 2: but I have put some thought into this, and it's 1042 00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:14,080 Speaker 2: also going to sound silly because this is like, this 1043 00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:15,960 Speaker 2: is our audience and this is who we are. But 1044 00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:19,080 Speaker 2: I want to do a boost specifically for black women, 1045 00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:21,839 Speaker 2: and I want to do a boost for black women 1046 00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:25,960 Speaker 2: at work and the black women, especially in corporate America 1047 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,239 Speaker 2: when it can feel like you're one of a few. 1048 00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:31,560 Speaker 2: I know there's lots of people who who don't have 1049 00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,520 Speaker 2: a choice but to work in places where maybe they're 1050 00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:36,120 Speaker 2: the only one or one a few. And I just 1051 00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:40,839 Speaker 2: was reflecting recently on over my career, how many like 1052 00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:43,200 Speaker 2: the truly and you know, you were talking about Lynette 1053 00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:45,600 Speaker 2: Kalfani Cox last week and how she really poured into you. 1054 00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:47,720 Speaker 2: And I was thinking back on my career, and I'm thinking, 1055 00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:52,000 Speaker 2: who are the most Who were the people who didn't 1056 00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:56,000 Speaker 2: never make me feel like asking for support or asking 1057 00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:59,440 Speaker 2: for you know, to chat or asking for advice was 1058 00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:02,919 Speaker 2: a burden them? And who really just took time out 1059 00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,520 Speaker 2: to really pour into me and to help me when 1060 00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:08,480 Speaker 2: I was struggling and literally wanted me to succeed without 1061 00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:11,560 Speaker 2: knowing anything about me, just because they knew how hard 1062 00:54:11,560 --> 00:54:14,040 Speaker 2: it was out there for us in that environment. And 1063 00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:16,200 Speaker 2: I just got on my feels a little bit. So 1064 00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:18,319 Speaker 2: if you're out there and you're a black woman, I 1065 00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:23,120 Speaker 2: just love us. I love how we really lean on 1066 00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:26,040 Speaker 2: one another, even if it's the smallest thing you can do, 1067 00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:28,279 Speaker 2: just reaching out to a even a colleague that you 1068 00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:31,239 Speaker 2: don't even know that well, just to offer support or 1069 00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:34,200 Speaker 2: to see how they're doing, especially at times like this. 1070 00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:40,319 Speaker 2: I have just been blessed with the Black sisterhood that is, 1071 00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:44,760 Speaker 2: you know, in these in these quiet places in corporate America. 1072 00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:48,040 Speaker 2: So just thank you. I love us, and we take care, 1073 00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:50,719 Speaker 2: we take good care of each other. And I'm just 1074 00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:56,040 Speaker 2: that's what I just came here to say. That includes U, Tiff. Obviously, Yeah, 1075 00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:58,160 Speaker 2: that sounds generic, but I really have been reflecting on 1076 00:54:58,200 --> 00:54:59,680 Speaker 2: that lately, and it means a lot. 1077 00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:03,879 Speaker 1: Well, you love girl, you loved Okay. People always whatever, 1078 00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:06,719 Speaker 1: they seem like, give this hug the mandra I'm like, 1079 00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:09,439 Speaker 1: I don't like hugs, and they're like, I know, he goes. 1080 00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:16,040 Speaker 1: So this is not necessarily like a it's not definitely 1081 00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:17,560 Speaker 1: not a boost, and I don't know if it's a break. 1082 00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:21,160 Speaker 1: But Bill and Linda Gates are getting a divorce. 1083 00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:23,399 Speaker 2: I just saw that. I was like, do I talk? 1084 00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:25,719 Speaker 2: Why does this mean something to me? But it does. 1085 00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:28,799 Speaker 2: Even billionaires can't do it, I know. 1086 00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:32,080 Speaker 1: I'm just like, so they've been married for twenty seven years. 1087 00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:38,759 Speaker 1: I just yeah, but they say that they're gonna, you know, 1088 00:55:39,520 --> 00:55:42,000 Speaker 1: they're gonna continue like their their foundation together. 1089 00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:46,080 Speaker 2: But I hope so, I mean that foundations massive. 1090 00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:47,880 Speaker 1: Yes, and they've done such good work. I just I 1091 00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:50,920 Speaker 1: honestly don't know what to say because you know, you 1092 00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:56,359 Speaker 1: think to yourself, why. 1093 00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:56,000 Speaker 2: He does seem like a difficult person. Do you see 1094 00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:56,719 Speaker 2: the documentary? 1095 00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:59,719 Speaker 1: Yes, he seems like she seemed like she's like. 1096 00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like he's not gonna do date night 1097 00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:05,279 Speaker 2: very well. You know what I mean. Bill Gates ain't 1098 00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:08,640 Speaker 2: here for the rose petals. I've been loving that Bruno 1099 00:56:08,719 --> 00:56:10,799 Speaker 2: Mars song. I find any excuse to break into song 1100 00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:14,040 Speaker 2: now with that leave the door open and there's one whatever. 1101 00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:19,600 Speaker 2: I'm stop with these like these these side spiraling mental thoughts, Mandy, 1102 00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:23,080 Speaker 2: But yeah, Bill Gates seems really difficult. There was like 1103 00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:26,000 Speaker 2: a there was a documentary on Netflix, and I think 1104 00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:29,240 Speaker 2: she even spoke just about the challenges of being carried 1105 00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:30,320 Speaker 2: to a genius scene. 1106 00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:32,240 Speaker 1: She even said she's like, I don't think my husband's 1107 00:56:32,239 --> 00:56:36,080 Speaker 1: that interesting. I was like, gay, I didn't know, you know, like, 1108 00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:37,440 Speaker 1: but you know that's the kind of iyroll you gave 1109 00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:40,280 Speaker 1: when someone's like, oh my gosh, you like girl, please 1110 00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:41,920 Speaker 1: have you seen his underwear? Please? 1111 00:56:42,960 --> 00:56:46,040 Speaker 2: Melnda. Part of me is like listen. As a child 1112 00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:48,040 Speaker 2: of divorce, I remember thinking my mom was such a 1113 00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:50,480 Speaker 2: hero when okay, this is not to shade my dad, 1114 00:56:50,560 --> 00:56:52,960 Speaker 2: it was it was I've learned since then, there's there's 1115 00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:55,399 Speaker 2: two sides of the story. But anyway, at the time, 1116 00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:57,399 Speaker 2: I was like, Wow, my mom is so brave. She's 1117 00:56:57,480 --> 00:57:01,080 Speaker 2: choosing joy, she's choosing herself and and you know, and 1118 00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:03,600 Speaker 2: she didn't have billions of dollars at her behest. But 1119 00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:05,960 Speaker 2: I always feel like, if it's the best thing for 1120 00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:08,480 Speaker 2: a couple, especially if they're older, I mean, they're not 1121 00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:10,799 Speaker 2: super young anymore, and they still have a lot of 1122 00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:14,600 Speaker 2: life to live, it's almost like they've chosen, they've chosen joy, 1123 00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:18,280 Speaker 2: and they've chosen, you know, the right thing for themselves 1124 00:57:18,440 --> 00:57:20,760 Speaker 2: versus whatever the public is going to think about them. 1125 00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:23,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, and also too, I suspect I don't know how 1126 00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:26,680 Speaker 1: old their children are, but I suspect that probably was 1127 00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:28,480 Speaker 1: in the works for a little while and they were 1128 00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:30,240 Speaker 1: waiting for their kids to get a little older, you know. 1129 00:57:31,360 --> 00:57:33,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I one of her friends of mine who 1130 00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:35,760 Speaker 2: are like parents divorce. There are parents who wait till 1131 00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:37,320 Speaker 2: the kids are grown, you know, in college, and then 1132 00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:39,640 Speaker 2: they get divorced and then the kids are so like 1133 00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:41,640 Speaker 2: sometimes gonn be so devastated. And I'm like, I don't 1134 00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:44,280 Speaker 2: know what's worse when you're ten or when you're twenty five. 1135 00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:46,880 Speaker 2: I don't know, it's it's hard, but it is. 1136 00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:49,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, So, I mean there's definitely a booster break. But 1137 00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:51,520 Speaker 1: I just when I saw I was like, wait what, 1138 00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:56,000 Speaker 1: So I guess we'll see. They don't seem messy. I 1139 00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:58,200 Speaker 1: mean when Jeff Basils and his wife got divorced, Jeff 1140 00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:00,000 Speaker 1: Besils seems messy though I don't. 1141 00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:01,200 Speaker 2: Know he was. 1142 00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:05,520 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, so I know, so I guess 1143 00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:10,040 Speaker 1: we'll see what comes out of this. But it doesn't. 1144 00:58:10,080 --> 00:58:13,200 Speaker 1: Bill doesn't seem like he was a tom katting around like, yeah, 1145 00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:16,000 Speaker 1: I got all these ladies. I mean, you never know. 1146 00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:18,800 Speaker 1: I will say that you never knew, but you know, 1147 00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:21,000 Speaker 1: I don't know. She just you know. I mean obviously 1148 00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:25,400 Speaker 1: people choose happiness, choose themselves and so so yeah, I mean. 1149 00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:30,560 Speaker 2: People give what do we I know, especially black Twitter 1150 00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:32,480 Speaker 2: loves whenever Will and Jada come out with something new 1151 00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:35,400 Speaker 2: about their relationship, and I know that there's I think 1152 00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:40,200 Speaker 2: that there's become this this this growing support for or 1153 00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:43,600 Speaker 2: growing like a questioning of why are they still together 1154 00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:46,000 Speaker 2: if it seems like they really have struggled so much? 1155 00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,560 Speaker 2: And there's this line of thinking around like they have 1156 00:58:49,640 --> 00:58:51,520 Speaker 2: come out and said how tough things have been, and 1157 00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:57,040 Speaker 2: like talked about affairs that they've had, and it's almost like, 1158 00:58:57,120 --> 00:59:00,280 Speaker 2: at what point, what are you staying for? You know, 1159 00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:03,960 Speaker 2: are you staying because it truly is best for you, 1160 00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:07,880 Speaker 2: or are you staying because you just want to you know, 1161 00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:10,200 Speaker 2: you believe in the institution or I know some people 1162 00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:12,840 Speaker 2: feel like it's religious they have to they don't want 1163 00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:16,480 Speaker 2: to disappoint, you know, or fall out of line with 1164 00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:20,240 Speaker 2: their beliefs and things like that. But I yeah, it's 1165 00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:24,040 Speaker 2: it's tough. I just feel like we were just talking about, 1166 00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:26,959 Speaker 2: you know, doing what makes you feel happiest. And dude, 1167 00:59:26,960 --> 00:59:29,320 Speaker 2: if I wake up and I'm in my sixties and 1168 00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:32,280 Speaker 2: miserable with husband, I mean, god forbid, I don't think 1169 00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:34,600 Speaker 2: I will, but you know, miserable with husbany. I hope 1170 00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:38,600 Speaker 2: that we're brave enough even then to to find joy, 1171 00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,400 Speaker 2: to you know, to find it, to start a new 1172 00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:43,120 Speaker 2: chapter and to find joy. 1173 00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:46,920 Speaker 1: I feel like, honestly, maybe because I got married, like later, 1174 00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:50,880 Speaker 1: me and me and men, I always are like, tell geeze, 1175 00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:56,480 Speaker 1: I am not saying not that I'm like, we'll be 1176 00:59:56,720 --> 00:59:59,440 Speaker 1: I mean I see how he is as a co parent. 1177 01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:05,840 Speaker 1: He's great, you know, with super super Girl's mom, and 1178 01:00:05,920 --> 01:00:08,320 Speaker 1: he's a great father whether or not. You know you 1179 01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:10,760 Speaker 1: you know, we have her literally half the time, two 1180 01:00:10,760 --> 01:00:12,600 Speaker 1: weeks on, two weeks off, three weeks on, three weeks off. 1181 01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:14,800 Speaker 1: That's what we do. So I see how he is. 1182 01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:17,400 Speaker 1: He's an amazing father. Like literally I was. He came 1183 01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:19,040 Speaker 1: downstairs today. I was like, oh, come sit with me 1184 01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:21,600 Speaker 1: on the couch. He said, nope, it's Supergirl time because 1185 01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:24,480 Speaker 1: she was out outside on the front porch just chilling, 1186 01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:26,520 Speaker 1: and so I just thought that was so cute. And 1187 01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:28,240 Speaker 1: so he's like, I'll get you later on tonight. I 1188 01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:33,040 Speaker 1: was like, whatever, No, But I love that honestly that 1189 01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:36,360 Speaker 1: he like makes a concerted effort to say, spend time 1190 01:00:36,440 --> 01:00:39,080 Speaker 1: with my daughter. You know, what are the fun things 1191 01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:40,760 Speaker 1: she likes to do? You should have seen this morning. 1192 01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:44,240 Speaker 1: He he is such a what is it? It's a curmudgeon? 1193 01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:44,680 Speaker 1: What are those? 1194 01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:44,800 Speaker 3: What? 1195 01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:49,120 Speaker 1: What's the old person? Like? Just the key theory. Yes, 1196 01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:51,280 Speaker 1: he is very ordinary. In the morning, he made her 1197 01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:53,960 Speaker 1: pancakes and eggs and all this stuff. So he knocked 1198 01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:56,280 Speaker 1: out the door, good morning baby. I guess she didn't 1199 01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:57,640 Speaker 1: move fast enough froim. He was like, are you the 1200 01:00:57,720 --> 01:00:59,960 Speaker 1: queen of Sheba, I made you breakfast? Get up again. 1201 01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:02,800 Speaker 1: I was like, how you She didn't ask for your breakfast. 1202 01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:04,800 Speaker 1: You came in the room. I'm sure the girl was tired, 1203 01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:06,680 Speaker 1: and you look at her like, get up and get 1204 01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:09,000 Speaker 1: your breakfast quickly. So I just thought that was like, 1205 01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:10,760 Speaker 1: that is so Superman. But I say all that to 1206 01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:13,360 Speaker 1: say that as much as I love him, I love 1207 01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:17,920 Speaker 1: my self and I'm not staying unhappy, right yeah, because 1208 01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:20,959 Speaker 1: you know it's possible to me looking at the way 1209 01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:25,840 Speaker 1: Alyssa has turned out. She is smart, she is respectful. 1210 01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:27,520 Speaker 1: I mean, now come, remember we had some times well 1211 01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:31,320 Speaker 1: she was never disrespectful, just sassy, but she is respectful. 1212 01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:35,000 Speaker 1: She is just like an all around honestly an awesome kid. 1213 01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:39,120 Speaker 1: And she's you know, raised by two parents wh were 1214 01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:43,000 Speaker 1: not together and yet honestly, I mean, you know, I 1215 01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:45,440 Speaker 1: was a teacher for so many years. I don't know, 1216 01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:47,840 Speaker 1: like she's just I don't want to say well adjusted 1217 01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,160 Speaker 1: because they haven't been together since she was like three. 1218 01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:55,680 Speaker 1: But it's possible to raise a happy, smart, great kid 1219 01:01:55,840 --> 01:01:57,880 Speaker 1: even if you're not together. That's proof positive. 1220 01:01:57,960 --> 01:02:02,240 Speaker 2: So oh yeah, so and your kids like my mom 1221 01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:05,160 Speaker 2: my favorite years as with my with my mom, I 1222 01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:08,000 Speaker 2: always think, but the golden years was after that divorce 1223 01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:10,400 Speaker 2: because she was so free. It was fun to can 1224 01:02:10,440 --> 01:02:12,960 Speaker 2: watch her get dressed up for a date. And the 1225 01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:15,120 Speaker 2: lesson I learned from that, you know, once I got 1226 01:02:15,160 --> 01:02:16,720 Speaker 2: older and she was like, yeah, we were. It was 1227 01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:20,200 Speaker 2: really stressful obviously, and I was devastated, but I remember 1228 01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:24,960 Speaker 2: before that it was just it was anger and arguments 1229 01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:28,640 Speaker 2: and bad and I think if you have kids especially, 1230 01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:30,760 Speaker 2: but also it's for your own happiness. I mean, no 1231 01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:33,080 Speaker 2: one wants to live in that kind of environment. It's 1232 01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:35,520 Speaker 2: just life is too short, you know, like life is 1233 01:02:35,560 --> 01:02:38,240 Speaker 2: too short, and I think you have to take time 1234 01:02:38,280 --> 01:02:40,760 Speaker 2: and do what's right for you. But sometimes you have 1235 01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:44,800 Speaker 2: to be brave enough to, yeah, to put yourself first, 1236 01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:47,240 Speaker 2: and to put your happiness first, above what other people think, 1237 01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:51,080 Speaker 2: and above you know, the perfect idea of whatever the 1238 01:02:51,160 --> 01:02:54,520 Speaker 2: relationship is. And it's and it's okay as married women 1239 01:02:54,560 --> 01:02:57,680 Speaker 2: to talk about that too. I think it's it's just 1240 01:02:57,760 --> 01:03:00,000 Speaker 2: for me. It's like planning for you know, having life 1241 01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,720 Speaker 2: life insurance that hope we never use it, you know, 1242 01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:05,400 Speaker 2: hope I don't die. It's uncomfortable to talk about death, 1243 01:03:05,440 --> 01:03:07,920 Speaker 2: but it's uncomfortable to talk about divorce, but why not? 1244 01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:12,040 Speaker 2: Why not talk about it and and you know, have 1245 01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:14,600 Speaker 2: a plan for what if it doesn't take away anything 1246 01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:18,200 Speaker 2: from your relationship. But financially, I've always been prepared. I've 1247 01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:21,320 Speaker 2: been prepared to walk from a relationship before I even 1248 01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:23,120 Speaker 2: was in one, you know, because I was like, I 1249 01:03:23,160 --> 01:03:27,160 Speaker 2: want that freedom to be able to to be independent 1250 01:03:27,240 --> 01:03:29,560 Speaker 2: and to take care of myself. And that was always 1251 01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:34,880 Speaker 2: like one of the cornerstones of my financial strategy as 1252 01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:38,280 Speaker 2: a as a young woman. And I think that's okay, good, 1253 01:03:38,760 --> 01:03:39,440 Speaker 2: and it's true. 1254 01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:42,200 Speaker 1: Just and this is just like a light break. So 1255 01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:44,120 Speaker 1: people have started I don't know how people started, Like 1256 01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:46,960 Speaker 1: people who were not like you're close to have started 1257 01:03:46,960 --> 01:03:49,400 Speaker 1: asking me to meet up. Like I've gotten a couple 1258 01:03:49,440 --> 01:03:53,240 Speaker 1: of ooh, Tiffany, Hey, you know we'd love to, you know, 1259 01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:56,520 Speaker 1: meet up for coffee to ask you some questions about this. 1260 01:03:56,600 --> 01:04:02,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, what like on zoom. So that started literally 1261 01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:04,760 Speaker 1: within like the last week or so I've gotten cause 1262 01:04:04,800 --> 01:04:06,960 Speaker 1: you know that that happens. People will ask to like 1263 01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:09,400 Speaker 1: it's not the meetup part or like, you know, asking questions. 1264 01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:11,600 Speaker 1: That's normal. I'm like, if I have time, I make time. 1265 01:04:11,920 --> 01:04:14,960 Speaker 1: But physically wanting to meet up. I'm like, wha is 1266 01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:16,720 Speaker 1: the panoramic. 1267 01:04:16,280 --> 01:04:19,720 Speaker 2: Good they're feeling they probably got vaccinated, they're feeling. 1268 01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:24,040 Speaker 1: Good, girl, Not with strangers. I'm like, six, okay. I mean, 1269 01:04:24,280 --> 01:04:27,040 Speaker 1: like I said, like obviously, like you know, if you're like, oh, hey, Tid, 1270 01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:29,240 Speaker 1: you came over, that's no problem. But you know, it's 1271 01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:32,760 Speaker 1: the people who pick your brain. Folks who normally, like, 1272 01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:35,200 Speaker 1: like I said, I don't mind being like jumping on 1273 01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:37,640 Speaker 1: a call or doing a zoom, but you want to 1274 01:04:37,720 --> 01:04:40,160 Speaker 1: meet you want to call for me a person? Mmmm, 1275 01:04:40,520 --> 01:04:43,560 Speaker 1: So it's been so awkward. I'm like, I, Hi, thank 1276 01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:45,400 Speaker 1: you so much. I mean, I don't mind planning a 1277 01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:48,080 Speaker 1: zoom call, but I'm currently not meeting people in person. 1278 01:04:48,520 --> 01:04:49,120 Speaker 3: Say what now? 1279 01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:50,840 Speaker 1: I just thought that was so honest. I got like 1280 01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:53,360 Speaker 1: three or four in the last last week or so, 1281 01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:56,400 Speaker 1: and I'm like, wow, are people feeling like everything's back 1282 01:04:56,400 --> 01:04:58,320 Speaker 1: to normal? Because the way they're saying it, like yeah, 1283 01:04:58,520 --> 01:05:00,800 Speaker 1: just you know, I'm growing some think of my business 1284 01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:03,680 Speaker 1: and blah blah blah. And my mentor said that, you know, 1285 01:05:03,760 --> 01:05:05,480 Speaker 1: you'd be a great person to connect with, which I'm like, 1286 01:05:05,560 --> 01:05:08,280 Speaker 1: that's fine, but I'm not going to Starbucks with you 1287 01:05:08,440 --> 01:05:11,440 Speaker 1: so I can call on strangers in person. I just 1288 01:05:11,760 --> 01:05:16,080 Speaker 1: I'd rather rather a zoom where I know your limits. Yeah, 1289 01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:17,800 Speaker 1: so I just yeah, I just thought that that was like, 1290 01:05:18,240 --> 01:05:21,240 Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just very interesting or even speaking engagement. 1291 01:05:21,320 --> 01:05:24,000 Speaker 1: Folks have been reaching out. That to me is even odder. 1292 01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:26,360 Speaker 1: So like, hey, planning this big thing where there's gonna 1293 01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:29,280 Speaker 1: be forty people, I'm sure somebody will have COVID. You 1294 01:05:29,360 --> 01:05:31,560 Speaker 1: want to come, you can be the keynote. Of'm like, 1295 01:05:33,560 --> 01:05:35,560 Speaker 1: so I've been getting a couple of those, and I'm like, yeah, 1296 01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:37,320 Speaker 1: not yet, too soon, since too soon. 1297 01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:40,680 Speaker 2: So I'm feeling a little giddy after I got my 1298 01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:43,200 Speaker 2: second dose and now I'm fully vaccinated. I've heard though, 1299 01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:45,360 Speaker 2: you have to get like a booster shot. So listen, y'all. 1300 01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:49,160 Speaker 2: You know it ain't it ain't over, okay, So I 1301 01:05:49,240 --> 01:05:51,680 Speaker 2: think you know, I got my cute stock of masks. 1302 01:05:51,800 --> 01:05:53,400 Speaker 2: Masks are gonna be going to be a thing for 1303 01:05:53,720 --> 01:05:56,200 Speaker 2: a thing thing, you know, a thing thing. And honestly, 1304 01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:58,440 Speaker 2: like the parents I know who have kids are like, 1305 01:05:58,520 --> 01:06:00,720 Speaker 2: this is amazing. My kids haven't been sick. They're usually 1306 01:06:00,840 --> 01:06:03,800 Speaker 2: just like running nose and ill all the time. From 1307 01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:07,520 Speaker 2: all the other Germy Cesspool daycare kids. So yeah, this 1308 01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:10,360 Speaker 2: mask life is fine by me. I will say I 1309 01:06:10,480 --> 01:06:14,200 Speaker 2: had like neighbors over for a cookout outdoors. It felt 1310 01:06:14,320 --> 01:06:17,200 Speaker 2: so good, Tip, It felt so nice to just like 1311 01:06:18,120 --> 01:06:21,280 Speaker 2: hang out with other adults and we cooked and it 1312 01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:22,880 Speaker 2: was just very it was back to simple things. We 1313 01:06:22,920 --> 01:06:25,680 Speaker 2: made hot dogs and burgers and sat down. Okay, fine, 1314 01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:29,640 Speaker 2: I made a little fancy coconut margarita. But it was 1315 01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:31,960 Speaker 2: so fun and it was so impromptu and I am 1316 01:06:32,040 --> 01:06:35,280 Speaker 2: excited for that next phase. But nah, not for just randos. 1317 01:06:35,400 --> 01:06:38,680 Speaker 1: No, yeah, people, I would never eat hot dogs except 1318 01:06:38,720 --> 01:06:41,160 Speaker 1: for doing cookouts. I'm like, what I would, but as 1319 01:06:41,160 --> 01:06:43,320 Speaker 1: a kid, good yeah, but like you know, like I 1320 01:06:43,320 --> 01:06:44,560 Speaker 1: would never be like, you know what, I'm going to 1321 01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:46,320 Speaker 1: have a hot dog tonight, like in the house, you know, 1322 01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:48,360 Speaker 1: but like doing a cookout, I'm like, wait, you know 1323 01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:53,640 Speaker 1: hot dogs. I feel like it's such a cookout bood. 1324 01:06:53,680 --> 01:06:56,000 Speaker 1: But yeah, so that's it. Just like like a not 1325 01:06:56,360 --> 01:06:59,280 Speaker 1: necessary breaker boost with Melinda and Bill Gates. We wish 1326 01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:03,280 Speaker 1: them well, but certainly a break from not yet folks 1327 01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:08,880 Speaker 1: about meeting non inner circle people like in person for 1328 01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:09,440 Speaker 1: the first. 1329 01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:11,880 Speaker 2: Respect people's boundaries. If your comfort cool, but you know, 1330 01:07:12,040 --> 01:07:14,560 Speaker 2: I think respecting boundaries you still have to just people 1331 01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:15,640 Speaker 2: have different comfort levels. 1332 01:07:15,720 --> 01:07:18,280 Speaker 1: Yes, and so so I'm waiting my second back. So 1333 01:07:18,320 --> 01:07:20,920 Speaker 1: I got my first shot like last week, my arm 1334 01:07:21,040 --> 01:07:22,080 Speaker 1: was woo No one told me about that. 1335 01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:22,520 Speaker 3: Woof. 1336 01:07:23,240 --> 01:07:25,680 Speaker 2: It feels like someone punches you with the rock. 1337 01:07:25,840 --> 01:07:28,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, well not the actual shot itself, but like the 1338 01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:30,920 Speaker 1: next day I was no, yeah, oh this is what 1339 01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:33,440 Speaker 1: we're doing. I forgot my I'm like, oh my god, 1340 01:07:33,480 --> 01:07:36,520 Speaker 1: you okay girl? And then like the exhaustion. I don't 1341 01:07:36,560 --> 01:07:38,760 Speaker 1: know for me, but I was really tired for like 1342 01:07:39,360 --> 01:07:42,440 Speaker 1: a day and a half. And so hopefully, you know, 1343 01:07:42,560 --> 01:07:44,160 Speaker 1: the next shot won't do me so dirty. 1344 01:07:45,600 --> 01:07:46,880 Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad you're halfway there. 1345 01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:48,560 Speaker 1: I know halfway there. 1346 01:07:49,280 --> 01:07:50,560 Speaker 2: And when more months of you're why am I so 1347 01:07:50,640 --> 01:07:55,720 Speaker 2: excited for your baker? I don't know to recharge? All right, 1348 01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:58,560 Speaker 2: Well that is the show, y'all. Thank you for another 1349 01:07:58,640 --> 01:07:59,880 Speaker 2: wonderful week with Brown Ambition. 1350 01:08:01,560 --> 01:08:03,720 Speaker 1: See you next week, See you next week.