WEBVTT - "I've Tried Being Nice" with author Ann Leary 0:00:03.920 --> 0:00:08.800 Today's podcast is with my friend and very close neighbor, 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:12.560 And Leary. But before we start, I just want to 0:00:12.560 --> 0:00:14.040 tell you what we were doing. I picked her up 0:00:14.040 --> 0:00:17.440 at the gate, which is around the corner from her house. 0:00:17.560 --> 0:00:20.760 There's another gate in between her house and my house, 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:24.560 but I don't unlock that gate even for Anne, and 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:26.479 so I made her go all the way around to 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:30.560 the next gate, and then we drove in my Polaris 0:00:30.600 --> 0:00:34.760 down to the Maple Avenue house where we record this podcast. 0:00:35.080 --> 0:00:38.239 But on the way we stopped and we weeded, and 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:41.479 I did a little description of the maple woodland and 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:44.560 I think I hopefully she learned a little bit about 0:00:44.640 --> 0:00:47.560 Japanese maple trees. But then she said she loves tweed. 0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:50.000 So Ann Leary's going to come back and weed some 0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:54.520 more this afternoon after our podcast. But we're here to 0:00:54.600 --> 0:00:58.600 talk about Anne's writing, about Anne's life and about her 0:00:58.640 --> 0:01:02.440 perspective online and living. The new book that we are 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:06.720 also going to focus on is entitled I've Tried Being Nice. 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:10.080 There's some very funny things in this book, and I 0:01:10.120 --> 0:01:13.200 think that we should start with Anne Leary reading one 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:18.399 little little paragraph that she wrote about her neighbor Martha Stewart. Okay, 0:01:18.440 --> 0:01:19.560 can you read that? Sure? 0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:21.240 And thank you so much, Martha. 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:24.440 I just want to say that just riding on Martha's 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:27.520 Polaris through her property is actually a wonderful way to 0:01:27.560 --> 0:01:31.560 spend a morning. I know you've probably already been to pilates, 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:32.400 ridden two horses. 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:34.760 No, I didn't ride, but I did go to pilates. 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:37.600 I have moved a lot of plants. I've been cleaning 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:40.880 out the vegetable greenhouse, and I'm like, you, busy, busy, 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:42.000 busy all the time. 0:01:42.160 --> 0:01:43.280 You're more busy than I am. 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:45.720 I have a feeling you've also maybe started a new 0:01:45.760 --> 0:01:48.120 business and maybe negotiated a truth in the Middle East 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:48.840 this morning. 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:51.200 I wouldn't that be good if I could? 0:01:51.480 --> 0:01:52.559 I think you could, Martha. 0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:54.960 Would I would like to try. I would like to 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:59.120 ring bring some next first. Okay, so read that little, 0:01:59.280 --> 0:01:59.840 Read that little. 0:02:00.000 --> 0:02:01.520 This book is called I Tried Being Nice. It's an 0:02:01.600 --> 0:02:05.360 essay collection. I was going to call it the Unauthorized 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:07.560 Biography of Martha Stewart because I wanted it to be 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:11.440 a bestseller, but it's It actually mentions Martha once. But 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:14.520 the title essay is about a problem I had with 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:17.200 Martha and I are neighbors, but was a different neighbor, 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:20.440 and I finally reached a breaking point and actually had 0:02:20.440 --> 0:02:22.440 to say the words, look, I've tried being nice. This 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:26.600 is about reaching a certain age. We went gray early 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:28.919 in my family. My daughter thinks she found her first 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:29.960 gray hair at age twelve. 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:31.040 I found on my twenties. 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:34.200 But anyway, during COVID, I decided I would grow up 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:37.600 my gray because I saw all these silver foxes, you know, 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:39.959 that were supermodels that had gray hair, and I thought 0:02:39.960 --> 0:02:42.359 I would look like them. So I grew it out. 0:02:42.440 --> 0:02:45.680 Took a couple of years. And then I'll also add 0:02:46.320 --> 0:02:49.079 I was hit on a lot when I had gray hair, 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:50.440 more than when I was in my twenties. 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:52.000 I'd have I'd be out. 0:02:51.960 --> 0:02:53.760 Getting the mail and you know, a guy would be 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:56.400 jogging pass. You'd circle back, ask me, you know what 0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:57.040 was going on? 0:02:57.120 --> 0:02:57.800 People at gym? 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:02.760 And then I realized all this attention I was receiving 0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:06.360 from all these men, from men eighty to one hundred 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:08.560 years old. They thought I was like a super fit 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:09.720 former suffragist. 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:14.400 So anyway, my friend, this is what I wrote about you. 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:18.000 You WI helped me very much in changing my perspective 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:21.720 of how I looked. My friend Martha said to me 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:24.720 one day, why don't you color your hair? I told 0:03:24.720 --> 0:03:27.120 her that I was sick of coloring it, and I 0:03:27.160 --> 0:03:30.600 always admired women with wonderful gray hair. I think it's 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:34.360 very attractive on certain women. I said it is, Martha said, 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:37.920 I just don't think you're one of those women. Martha 0:03:38.000 --> 0:03:40.080 is the busiest person I've ever met, and she doesn't 0:03:40.080 --> 0:03:42.400 have time for bullshit, so she's very direct, and she 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:45.200 also loves fixing things that aren't working. 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:49.520 Well. See, I do like to fix things that aren't working. 0:03:49.960 --> 0:03:53.800 And this title could possibly I've tried, being nice could 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:57.080 apply to my life and just so many other people's 0:03:57.120 --> 0:04:00.360 lives that I know. I mean, it's just it's very 0:04:00.400 --> 0:04:05.200 funny title, and we do reach a point. I reach 0:04:05.280 --> 0:04:08.040 it every single day trying to be nice. I wake 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:09.680 up and say I'm not going to I'm not going 0:04:09.720 --> 0:04:13.000 to say anything to anybody today that's not nice, and 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:16.919 then of course, five minutes into the day, I find 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:20.159 something to complain about. But that's that's just life. 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:23.040 It is life, and you're a busy person who has time. 0:04:23.160 --> 0:04:25.320 I do do a lot. There's many things that I 0:04:25.360 --> 0:04:27.760 talk about in this book besides being nice. I write 0:04:27.760 --> 0:04:31.400 about my marriage, about dogs and kids and taking ballroom 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:34.440 dancing classes, traveling. But I do circle back a lot 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:36.440 to kind of exploring what it means to be nice, 0:04:36.440 --> 0:04:40.640 and women have extra expectations on us, expecting us to 0:04:40.680 --> 0:04:44.800 be nice. I've always experienced you as a nice person. 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:48.640 And I know you're what I think, what some people 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:49.320 think is nice. 0:04:49.360 --> 0:04:52.919 Maybe is what I tended to do, especially when I 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:54.919 was younger, which is like people pleasing and trying to 0:04:55.080 --> 0:04:57.360 ingratiate myself with others, and that comes from a place 0:04:57.400 --> 0:04:58.040 of insecurity. 0:04:58.040 --> 0:05:00.400 And you don't have that, you have comm evidence. 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:03.080 But I know you're nice, and I think a good 0:05:03.120 --> 0:05:07.080 sign of a nice person, especially a woman. I know 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:10.120 that you have friends that you've had for decades because 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:12.240 I know them personally, and you have people who have 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:13.400 worked for you for decades. 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:16.680 That to me is an indication of a person's character. 0:05:16.600 --> 0:05:19.840 And also of surviving, you know, difficulties with those people 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:24.080 and being able to speak frankly and honestly. Yes, it's 0:05:24.080 --> 0:05:26.640 not all just oh you you look so great today. 0:05:27.080 --> 0:05:29.000 I can't do that all the time. My friend just 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:31.280 asked me the other night that she told me that 0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:33.520 her back was hurting her terribly and she was really 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:36.239 having a hard time. And I said, well, if you 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:39.680 just exercised more and you lost about twenty five pounds, 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:43.440 maybe your back wouldn't hurt so much. And she was 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:46.160 so taken aback. But I'm used to talking to her 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:48.560 like that because because as we get older, you want 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:50.840 to be more frank and more honest and more and 0:05:51.200 --> 0:05:54.600 you can't baby everybody all the time, right, And I 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:57.320 love I love that altercation you had with the neighbor. 0:05:57.360 --> 0:05:59.000 To describe that altercation. 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:00.800 Okay, so yeah, we had just I've been living here 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:03.560 very long, and there were we The street I live 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:06.040 on is behind Martha's property. It's one of the most 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:11.279 it's a favorite walking street in our town. It's beautiful 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:14.120 and scenic Martha. It's called Maple Avenue, and Martha planted 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:17.679 all these maple trees all along Maple Avenue. It's absolutely stunning. 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:20.400 A lot of people walk with dogs off leash. We 0:06:20.480 --> 0:06:23.000 have a few problem dogs, as Martha knows, because they've 0:06:23.040 --> 0:06:26.320 actually interrupted broadcasts of hers with their screaming and barking 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:29.800 at the gate. But we have had awfully dogs come 0:06:29.880 --> 0:06:32.080 on our property. We have one dog who's not dog friendly. 0:06:32.160 --> 0:06:35.280 We had this one woman and I call her doodle 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:38.200 Lady in the book because Simon and Schuster actually made 0:06:38.279 --> 0:06:41.920 me change the breed of her dog so I wouldn't 0:06:41.920 --> 0:06:44.560 get sued by her. Her dogs kept coming on the property, 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:46.800 and I did the whole you know, it'd be so 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:49.280 nice if your dogs didn't come on the property, and. 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:51.080 She did, Oh, they're so friendly, don't worry. 0:06:51.120 --> 0:06:54.400 And this went on for you know, a few weeks 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:56.880 of you know, me stopping and saying, coming out and talking, 0:06:57.279 --> 0:06:59.200 and then one day the dogs came on and almost 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:00.240 got in a fight with my dog. 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:01.800 I jumped in my car. 0:07:02.360 --> 0:07:04.680 I get up at five point thirty, but at noon 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.240 I'm often still in my pajamas because I write all morning. 0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:09.520 I was in my pajamas. I go racing down Maple 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:12.040 Avenue and then I. 0:07:12.280 --> 0:07:15.080 Saw the doodle Lady and didn't know what to say, 0:07:15.080 --> 0:07:15.800 so I kept driving. 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:18.720 Then I circled back and I saw they looked uneasy, 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:22.200 because that's kind of scary. She circled back, and then 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:26.119 I rolled down the window, and without thinking, I said, look, 0:07:26.400 --> 0:07:32.239 I've tried being nice. The woman actually staggered backwards grabbed 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:32.640 her dog. 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:34.160 She thought you were going to kill her. 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:37.200 Yeah, if those are very powerful words, I learned it's 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:39.880 kind of like when the kids say no offense, but 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:43.640 you know what follows is going to hurt. So that 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:45.240 was the thing, and I write a little bit in 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:48.320 the book. I knew from reading and talking to friends 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:50.680 that when you reach a certain age and I could 0:07:50.680 --> 0:07:54.960 say menopause, I understood that you actually stop doing trying 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:58.520 so hard to ingratiate yourself with everybody you meet. But 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:00.400 I thought it would happen gradually. I did know that 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:03.240 one day somebody would spill their coffee on me and 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:05.840 I would apologize to them for them doing that, and 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:08.240 the next day I'd open the door and say, get 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:12.520 off my property. So that's the title essay. 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:15.920 I had a friend who did the same thing. I 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:18.200 gave her permission to I have a lot of roads 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:21.320 on my property. No and they're private and there's no cars, 0:08:21.360 --> 0:08:23.840 and you can walk your dogs very nicely for four 0:08:23.920 --> 0:08:26.680 miles on my property. So I said to her, oh, 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:28.920 walk your dogs any time, but just make sure they're 0:08:28.960 --> 0:08:32.760 unleashes right, And one day she was she let her 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:35.440 dogs off the leash, and my dogs were outside, and 0:08:35.480 --> 0:08:38.840 my dogs ran over to her dogs and wanted to, 0:08:39.040 --> 0:08:42.480 you know, play roughly with barking, and you know, my 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:44.360 dogs were protective of the property. 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:45.440 Territorialist. 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:48.560 She called me up and she said, I think you 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:52.040 should euthanize your dogs. Oh my god. And I said, 0:08:52.040 --> 0:08:54.760 what are you talking about. You were on my property 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:58.000 with your dogs unleashed, and you could have easily just 0:08:58.080 --> 0:09:00.560 gathered them up and walked in the opposite direction if 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:03.360 you had them on a leash. And I said, you're 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:06.600 not welcome here anymore, right, And that was my end 0:09:06.600 --> 0:09:07.720 of being nice. 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:09.679 Well that was you were super nice to let her 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:10.000 do that. 0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:13.360 Yeah, But people, it's both sides of the story. And 0:09:13.400 --> 0:09:15.800 that's what I really found interesting about this book. It 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:19.960 is both sides of the story, right, because your patience 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:23.160 gives out at a certain point and right, and the 0:09:23.280 --> 0:09:26.160 other people's patients also gives out at a certain point. 0:09:26.240 --> 0:09:26.640 That's right. 0:09:26.960 --> 0:09:31.319 And it's a hard transition to make from being the sweetest, 0:09:31.440 --> 0:09:33.800 loveliest neighbor in the whole world. Don't ever turn on me, 0:09:33.960 --> 0:09:35.079 I'm telling you right. 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:38.360 Now, I would never have reason to. You are a 0:09:38.360 --> 0:09:41.559 wonderful neighbor, a very generous, kind friend. I just want 0:09:41.559 --> 0:09:44.199 to say, I'm an animal nut. So your chows are 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:47.640 the They're ambassadors for the breed. So for them, I 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:50.360 know how friendly they are. So for anyone to say 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:52.800 that it should be no. 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:55.600 All of your dogs are horse my feeling and well, anyway, 0:09:56.200 --> 0:09:59.560 now we've gotten through them being nice party, and I 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:02.520 just want you want to know who exactly you are. 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:06.239 Anne Leary is a best selling author of six books, 0:10:06.280 --> 0:10:09.280 including The Good House, which was made into a feature 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:13.840 film starring Sigourney Weaver and Kevin Kleine. I loved that movie. 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:18.320 Her essay about marriage about her marriage in Trouble was 0:10:18.320 --> 0:10:22.559 that your marriage Yeah, was adapted for the Prime video 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:27.520 series Modern Love starring Tina Fay and John Slatterly. Anne 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:30.959 is an animal lover and accomplished equestrian, and I often 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:34.280 see her on the writing trails in Bedford area, up 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:37.600 where we both live. Her latest book, I've Tried Being 0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:41.160 Nice is out right now, and it's so fun to 0:10:41.200 --> 0:10:43.120 have you come across the street and sit and talk 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:43.360 to me. 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:46.839 I'm so thrilled and I'm loving your setup here. 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:49.040 Do you remember when we first met, when you moved here? 0:10:49.280 --> 0:10:50.520 What year was it? When you moved here. 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:53.640 You know, I think we bought our place in twenty sixteen, 0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:55.920 but we did some work and it was around twenty seventeen. Yes, 0:10:56.080 --> 0:11:01.880 Muffin dwadle are real estate extraordinary agent brought me over. 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:05.640 I think I had met you at maybe some parties 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:08.040 in the past, but of course you wouldn't remember. But 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:11.560 she brought me over and you were very, very, very lovely, 0:11:11.600 --> 0:11:13.200 and soon you had a dinner party and you just 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:16.200 were very welcoming and we were just it was just great. 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:20.040 It's been great getting to know you, and I'm always 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:22.480 learning more about you, which I find you fascinating. 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:25.880 No, but what's fun is that this neighborhood has really 0:11:26.559 --> 0:11:30.600 improved with the new homeowners that are coming, and I'm 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:33.720 so excited about living in Bedford now. When I first 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:40.040 came here, it was really quiet, and the Sunday nights 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:42.560 you just wanted to just go back to New York 0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:46.120 with everybody else, because everybody just had this massive exodus 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:48.959 back to back to the city after a pleasant country weekend. 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:52.120 But now more people are staying, they're living out here. 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:54.360 I live out here full time and I commute. I 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:57.079 do the reverse commute to New York And it's kind 0:11:57.120 --> 0:11:59.720 of a fabulous thing because I can be in the 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:02.120 city for dinner and get home and wake up with 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:05.800 the roosters crowing in the peacocks squawking, and et cetera, 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:09.439 et cetera. But to have you and Dennis Leary. Anne 0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:13.080 is married to the actor Dennis Leary, who's not only 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:15.079 an actor, he's a comedian and he is a writer. 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:18.600 And that's a lot of fun. She has two fabulous children, 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:21.600 grown children. How did you meet Jennis in the first place? 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:23.000 So, Dennis and I. 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:25.560 I met Dennis when I transferred to Emerson College from 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:28.760 Bennington College and I was a writing major and I 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:30.440 was told by the head of the department, I should 0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:33.600 take this comedy writing class with this man, Dennis Leary, 0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:35.400 who I thought would be in his forties. I was 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:39.080 twenty and then this, so you know, Dennis was a 0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:41.760 kind of a ginger, kind of blondish. You guys with 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:43.840 fair skin, they when they're twenty five, they look like 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:44.520 they're fourteen. 0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:45.040 Kind of. 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:47.000 He came in, but he was super good. He was 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:49.000 super cute. Anyway he walked in, I didn't think he 0:12:49.160 --> 0:12:52.160 was the teacher. He was the first thing he said 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:54.320 you could smoke in class, and he said, smoke him 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:54.959 if you got him. 0:12:55.040 --> 0:12:59.520 Well, like they say in the military. Anyway, he was 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:00.000 my teach. 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:03.120 Sure, I know it's very scandalous now, but it was 0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:06.800 a super fun class. Years later, by the way, I 0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:08.640 took the class, I got an a and we actually 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:10.920 started dating right after the class was over. 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:13.840 Not during because that would have been appropriate. 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:19.160 No, yes, I earned my grade, honestly. But he actually 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:21.040 then we went on a couple of days. He stayed 0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:24.120 over one night, and he never left Martha to this day. 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:26.559 It's been forty years. He turned out he didn't really 0:13:26.559 --> 0:13:26.760 have a. 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:29.160 Place to live. I didn't know that, so he just 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:32.840 came rat it's in Boston. So we've been through a lot. 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:34.880 He actually, you know, he was just like a starting 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:37.080 out an open mic comic, and then he kind of 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:42.320 found his stride and became I guess famous after Yeah, 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:43.800 he gave and then so that was fun. 0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:44.959 We got to enjoy that together. 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:47.679 There's a chapter in my book called Red Carpet Diaries 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:52.680 about our many like mishaps, fumbling along the Red carpet 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:55.120 when we were total rubes at first, and now we 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:58.240 kind of know what we're doing as you obviously know. 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:02.320 And these are twotiful people, and it's with her beautiful 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:06.320 blonde blocks. Now, thank you, mind I don't, but don't 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:08.280 you think you look better with blonde? Absolutely? Martha? 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:12.280 When I would look at photographs then with my blonde friends, 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:14.560 I would always I was like, who's. 0:14:14.360 --> 0:14:15.320 That old lady? 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:16.040 Who's the mother? 0:14:16.280 --> 0:14:19.400 Because it wasn't I didn't have that wonderful shock of 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:21.280 gray or the pet it was white. 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:21.680 It wasn't. 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:23.440 You were right, you know, That's what I was. I 0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:25.760 meant to say before. It's not Martha was helping. 0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:28.960 Sometimes you know a finach in your teeth and your 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:30.000 friend doesn't tell. 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:31.360 You, no, I wasn't being a bitch. 0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:33.680 I just you weren't the only went by the way. 0:14:33.720 --> 0:14:36.840 We're prettier than you were letting yourself. Thank you, and 0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:38.960 more tried. And how many more men hit on you now? 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:39.800 Is a blonde? 0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:42.880 I think now they're in you know I helped, There wasn't. 0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:44.840 Yeah, I don't know, but they I think it was 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:49.440 mostly these older guys thought she's fit for being nineties. 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:03.240 Well to Dennis, you have two children, yes, how old 0:15:03.280 --> 0:15:03.520 they were? 0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:05.680 Not really thirty? I had to say that because I 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:07.320 was just thirty a few years ago, Martha. 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:10.880 I I just was thirty not long ago. 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:12.360 They're wonderful kids. 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:15.680 And Anne Ann Leary is just I did the math 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:17.680 this morning when I found out when you were born, 0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:20.440 and you're just three years older than my daughter, So 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:21.080 I could. 0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:22.960 Beat your mother. Well, that's shocking. 0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:25.920 And I consider you much more unequal to me. I 0:15:25.960 --> 0:15:28.520 think because I consider all my friends more equal to me, 0:15:28.600 --> 0:15:31.200 because I like I hang out with younger people. 0:15:31.320 --> 0:15:33.160 I do too. I had got people of all ages. 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:36.720 But I actually think i'm the same age as I 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:39.440 can't guess. People say, but I think you might think 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:42.400 i'm your age because you're so much more active. 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:44.840 Than I am. You do you pack so much more 0:15:44.880 --> 0:15:46.760 into a day, and you're so. 0:15:46.920 --> 0:15:49.280 You're playing so much tennis and doing all that stuff. 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:50.720 I do that. Yeah, that's right. 0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:53.840 And I met all your tennis buddies the other night, Yes, 0:15:54.120 --> 0:15:57.760 at your performance at the Bedford Playhouse and your husband. 0:15:57.800 --> 0:15:58.480 Thank you for coming. 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:01.200 It was great grade to sit there and hear you 0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:03.320 bantered with each other. It was very nice. 0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:04.280 It was super fun. 0:16:04.440 --> 0:16:07.000 What is it like living with Dennis who comes and 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:08.320 goes like I. 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:09.760 Mean, he does he's busy. 0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:12.840 He's busy with his career. He's always going to Canada. 0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:14.720 Yeah, you know what, I think it might be a 0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:16.640 key to We've been married a very long time. We've 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:18.360 been living together a long time and married a long time, 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:21.840 and especially early on in the marriage, I never saw him. 0:16:21.880 --> 0:16:25.400 I think that's the key to a successful marriage. I'm 0:16:25.440 --> 0:16:28.080 fascinated by him. It's wonderful when he comes home. He's 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:30.800 always works with really interesting people. As you know, Martha, 0:16:30.880 --> 0:16:32.760 I'm a bit of a hermit, so I like to 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:36.240 hear what exciting things he's done. But I like to 0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:39.440 stay home. But I just find him funny. I think 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:42.600 we just we get along. We have great history together. 0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:44.800 We've been together so long. No matter where he is, 0:16:44.920 --> 0:16:46.840 he'll call me and say, turn on CNN or or 0:16:46.880 --> 0:16:50.320 turn on this channel because it's somebody we both have 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:53.480 a thing because in the past we knew. It's just 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:55.080 fun to have that kind of history. You probably have 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:55.920 friends like that, you know. 0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:58.200 It's just so you were trained as a writer. At 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:00.560 what point did you write your first book? So is 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:01.440 that when you were married. 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:05.240 Yes, yes, my first book was called An Innocent Abroad. 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:07.680 It was just you know, borrowed from Mark Twain's book 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:10.760 but I but mine was an innocent comma abroad. It 0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:13.480 was about having my son in London by accident. He 0:17:13.520 --> 0:17:15.040 was supposed to be born in the United States. But 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:17.359 we went for a weekend, I went into premature labor 0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:20.360 and six months later we came home. And it's kind 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:23.240 of how my husband's career was launched. He wrote because 0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:25.439 we couldn't leave, he wrote this one man show the 0:17:25.560 --> 0:17:28.200 Edinburgh Festival and it got awards and he came back 0:17:28.240 --> 0:17:29.680 and did it the Actress Playhouse. 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:34.399 So that so that was that was fortuitious, Yes, it was, 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:35.199 It actually was. 0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:37.280 It was scary and then it was good because it 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:40.959 all's well, that ends well. You know my son, he's fabulous. 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:45.280 He's very he's like seven feet, all the handsomest boys 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:46.600 and a writer. 0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:51.200 Also yeah yeah, producer, yeah actually yeah. So yeah. 0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:54.880 So that but that book I didn't tell anyone, even Dennis. 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:57.840 I wrote like five chapters in an outline and secretly 0:17:57.880 --> 0:17:59.520 sent it to this editor who was a friend of 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:01.879 a friend, because I was sure I didn't want the 0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:04.840 shame of, you know, saying So it did get published 0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:06.919 and then this is I think my sixth book, but. 0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:07.840 I usually write fiction. 0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:11.080 These are that and this book are my only nonfiction books. 0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:11.840 I prefer fiction. 0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:15.000 So where do you find the inspiration for each of 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:17.399 your books? I mean, start with the first one. 0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:21.720 Well and Innocent Abroad was you know this this thing happened. 0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:25.960 It was very stressful and traumatic. I waited years until 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:28.200