WEBVTT - “OUTER SPACE HAS RUINED MY LIFE” 0:00:02.160 --> 0:00:04.320 Hello, Hello, Hello, how's. 0:00:04.040 --> 0:00:06.640 It going sculling? Good? How are you? 0:00:07.720 --> 0:00:08.200 I'm good? 0:00:08.240 --> 0:00:08.720 How are you? 0:00:10.480 --> 0:00:12.440 I'm good? How are you? How long does you can 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:12.800 do this for? 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:14.960 Don't I don't want to do this game? This game 0:00:14.960 --> 0:00:15.680 always gets boring. 0:00:15.720 --> 0:00:19.400 Sorry, okay, okay, that answers that question. What's your name? 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:21.360 I'm sorry you just told it to me soon tell 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:21.800 me again. 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:23.800 I did not tell it to you yet, but my 0:00:23.880 --> 0:00:24.520 name is Russ. 0:00:24.760 --> 0:00:28.320 Oh, Russ. It says here that you're scared of the sun. 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:29.680 Yeah. 0:00:29.720 --> 0:00:31.840 Man, I know this is going to sound kind of ridiculous, 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:35.000 but like, I'm honestly kind of legit scared of the 0:00:35.040 --> 0:00:38.040 sun and a few other things in regards to like space. 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:41.159 It gives me, honestly, like an existential dread. 0:00:41.800 --> 0:00:44.280 Why do you tell me more? Tell me more about 0:00:44.280 --> 0:00:45.320 why you're scared of the sun? 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:46.800 Oh? Yeah. 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:50.040 The first thing that I always say to my family 0:00:50.040 --> 0:00:51.600 that kind of makes them think I'm crazy is that 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:54.480 like the like light speed, right, it's really fast, like 0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:57.040 about three hundred thousand meters per second or something like that. 0:00:59.080 --> 0:01:01.120 To go to the moon, if you're going light speed, 0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:02.680 or take about four seconds. But to get to the 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:04.360 Sun they would take about eight minutes, but they look 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:06.679 the same size in the sky, like the sun is 0:01:06.720 --> 0:01:11.399 just gigantic. Man, stars are terrifying, And I don't think 0:01:11.480 --> 0:01:13.840 normal people realize that we just have this like massive 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:17.080 ball of fusion in the sky constantly doing this thing, 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:19.600 powering all life on earth. I don't know, man, It's 0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:21.720 such a weird balance of like fuckery that I just 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:22.759 can't can't live with. 0:01:23.280 --> 0:01:25.160 How how often are you thinking about the sun? 0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:28.760 I mean, I I think I honestly think about this 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:30.360 type of shit every day. I'm not gonna lie. 0:01:30.720 --> 0:01:32.880 What's the what's the first thing you think about typically 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:35.559 when you wake up? Is it the sun? 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:37.759 No? 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:40.520 I I no, definitely not. No. 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:45.199 I don't check your phone. Do you check your phone 0:01:45.240 --> 0:01:47.200 and the when when you first wake up? 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:48.360 Uh? 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:50.880 No? But I do check my laptop. I guess it's 0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:51.600 kind of the same thing. 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:54.880 What do you first go to on your laptop with at? 0:01:57.840 --> 0:01:59.360 What if I said rather it would that be a 0:01:59.440 --> 0:01:59.960 terrible thing? 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:03.960 No, A terrible thing would be anything that's not the truth. 0:02:05.640 --> 0:02:07.480 Well, I'm being honest with you, so I guess read it. 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:07.800 Yeah? 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:10.000 What subreddit do go on is check home? 0:02:10.880 --> 0:02:10.919 No? 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:14.519 You know, just browsed popular brows the home brows. You know, 0:02:14.680 --> 0:02:17.160 if you think Curble Space Program, I like that subreddit. 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:22.160 Okay, so your so your you. The first thing you 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:24.600 do when you wake up in the morning is you 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:26.800 go to your laptop. You go to Reddit, and you 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:31.120 try to find people talking about the sun on a 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:32.120 space reddit. 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:36.200 I mean Curbal Space Program is like a video game 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:40.480 where rock face and stuff. Yeah do, But like I, 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:43.000 I do have a telescope and I am like an 0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:46.359 amateur astronomer and stuff too, so like this type of 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:48.680 but I don't know why, man, Like looking through my 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:50.480 telescope has been a thing I haven't been able to 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:52.600 do recently because like I just stare into the void 0:02:52.600 --> 0:02:54.480 of space and I see all like the stars and shit, 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:56.639 and just like actually starts to freak me out. 0:02:57.000 --> 0:03:01.160 I go ahead, I'll I'll save my shit for the end. 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:01.600 Go ahead. 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:04.760 Okay. I was gonna say, like my friends and family 0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:07.120 know that, like I loved space and shit, but they've 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:09.440 all like realized that I haven't been going out with 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:11.960 my telescope and taking pictures recently, and it's been a 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:13.680 thing that I've been like too afraid to like talk 0:03:13.720 --> 0:03:16.880 about to them, because like, how do you explain that 0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:22.480 you're scared of basically the universe. No, I sound crazy. 0:03:23.200 --> 0:03:26.760 You're an amateur astronomer, which, by the way, I've never 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:30.360 heard a single person ever describe themselves as that. I 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:36.880 find that very impressive. You are an amateur astronomer who 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:42.600 is ungraid of space. That's like if you were a 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:47.680 hot air balloon conductor who was afraid of heights, or 0:03:48.280 --> 0:03:54.440 an exterminator who was afraid of bugs, or a doctor blood. 0:03:59.040 --> 0:04:00.920 Yeah, but I don't get I don't get paid to 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:02.320 like look at the stars or anything though. 0:04:02.360 --> 0:04:04.360 Right, No, but this is not about money. It's a 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:08.120 business what you do. You're an amateur. You describe yourself. No, 0:04:10.200 --> 0:04:13.000 you describe yourself as an amateur astronomer. That's not a 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:17.560 normal thing that people say about themselves. This is what 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:20.200 you get from from what I'm hearing, from what I 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:22.680 what you're telling me. This is what I think. 0:04:22.680 --> 0:04:24.960 You're maybe putting too much weight onto the onto the 0:04:25.000 --> 0:04:26.960 two words amateur astronomer. I just kind of like use 0:04:27.000 --> 0:04:28.880 that as like a descriptor for like people that like 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:31.800 to use telescopes and like your research on what they're 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:34.680 looking at and take pictures on a scale. 0:04:34.760 --> 0:04:39.040 Well, Okay, well are you Are you an amateur astronomer 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:41.000 or are you a guy who owns a telescope. 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:44.359 To me, they're one and the same, because it's like 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:46.960 saying a musician is someone that can own a guitar. 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:47.320 Right. 0:04:50.279 --> 0:04:55.520 Ah, Man, I'm really sad now, I'm sorry. Yeah, you 0:04:55.520 --> 0:04:57.200 disappointed me a lot. I thought you were an amateur 0:04:57.240 --> 0:04:59.320 astronomers astronomer, no, I will. 0:04:59.560 --> 0:05:02.800 I don't write down like numbers and do calculations and 0:05:02.880 --> 0:05:06.359 like all that type of stuff, but like I I 0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:09.799 would have when you go on to like the subreddits, 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:12.160 everyone talks about how they're amateur astronomers and they just 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:14.120 like take pictures of stuff. I don't know, that's what 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:14.920 I thought they were called. 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:21.160 So, uh, at some point there was a little stretch 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:24.400 of time where you were really into space but not 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:26.560 yet afraid of it. What did that look like? 0:05:28.360 --> 0:05:31.240 Excitement? I guess like I would go out like every 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:32.839 clear night that I had the chance, you know, like 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:36.600 taking taking pictures of uh, like I don't know any 0:05:36.640 --> 0:05:37.920 names right now, man, I'm kind of nervous. 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:38.359 I'm sorry. 0:05:38.800 --> 0:05:41.320 Uh, some some of the terminologies escaping my brain. But 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:42.960 like I would take pictures of like I know that 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:45.520 Andromeda Galaxy is a great one. For example, it's one 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:48.800 of the most stamous ones. Some of the nebulas, I 0:05:48.839 --> 0:05:51.279 don't know. I get excited about looking at the stars 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:53.280 and looking at the moon and things like that, but 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:55.919 over time it just started like creeping up on me, 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:58.440 like that the distances between these things and the sizes 0:05:58.480 --> 0:06:00.719 of these things and compared to me, like I'm just 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:01.600 so tiny. 0:06:02.080 --> 0:06:04.279 You're nothing. You're nothing, You're nothing. 0:06:04.320 --> 0:06:06.560 But it's like a tiny speck man floating on another 0:06:06.680 --> 0:06:08.880 tiny speck in the grand scheme of the universe. And 0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:12.400 I think I spent too much time thinking about. 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:17.799 It, Like, imagine how small our brains are. We are nothing. 0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:25.480 We are tiny, insignificant little bugs. And if a giant 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:28.760 thing wanted to come down here and kill us all, 0:06:28.880 --> 0:06:31.440 he would be well within his right to do that, 0:06:31.520 --> 0:06:34.679 because whatever it would be, it would be bigger and smarter, 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:37.880 as much as we're well within our right to kill 0:06:37.920 --> 0:06:41.040 a little ant. You know, that's so much we suck 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:41.800 in our nothing. 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:50.599 I just think that, like I feel as a human 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:53.919 and being brought up in modern society, I feel like 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:58.640 more humans need to kind of have like kind of 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:02.240 a similar feeling to me because I think it's I'm 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:04.040 not trying to say I'm anything special or like smart 0:07:04.120 --> 0:07:07.039 or anything, but like I think, well, you hold on. 0:07:07.760 --> 0:07:14.520 You described yourself as an amateur astrologist, astronomy astronomer, astrologist 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:17.080 or whatever. But you did that, and you need to 0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:19.800 accept the fact that you did that. Anyway, go ahead. 0:07:19.840 --> 0:07:22.840 Sorry, I'm sorry, Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't I didn't 0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:25.320 mean to mislead. I didn't mean to mislead. 0:07:25.920 --> 0:07:28.040 I forgive you, I forgive I forgive you. It's okay, 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:29.920 thank you. 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:33.320 I'm sorry. I kind of lost what I was going 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:34.120 to say. I don't I don't know. 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:35.800 You were you were. Here's what you were. You were 0:07:35.840 --> 0:07:38.440 trying to say that everyone else should be as afraid 0:07:38.480 --> 0:07:40.400 of space as you are. That's what you were saying. 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:41.680 Why do you feel some. 0:07:41.800 --> 0:07:44.920 Degree because it's very much humbled me in my day 0:07:44.960 --> 0:07:47.560 to day life and not being so worried about the 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:49.000 small things. 0:07:48.760 --> 0:07:51.840 Like yeah, yeah. 0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:53.160 Keeped on the floor, like I'm not going to get 0:07:53.160 --> 0:07:54.520 like up set that I have to clean a puke 0:07:54.600 --> 0:07:55.400 or something like that. You know. 0:07:55.600 --> 0:08:01.360 Yeah, it's what's his name, uh god, Carl Sega. No, 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:03.800 it wasn't him. Did Carl Sagan do this or did 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:05.960 he just talk about it? Or it's the pale blue 0:08:05.960 --> 0:08:07.600 dot that photo. 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:10.520 I'm pretty sure, yeah, Carl. I think it was Carl. 0:08:10.920 --> 0:08:16.760 Yeah, yeah, I think who cares? But there's a famous 0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:18.840 picture of a pale blue dot and it's like a 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:24.640 little it's like taking a telescope that was taken super 0:08:24.720 --> 0:08:28.480 super far away and it took a took a picture 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:30.600 of the Earth, and the Earth looks like a little 0:08:30.600 --> 0:08:32.680 pale blue dot, and you're supposed to look at it 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:36.480 and go, damn, uh you know that girl not texting 0:08:36.520 --> 0:08:37.680 me back is nothing? 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:38.560 You know? 0:08:40.200 --> 0:08:40.400 Yeah? 0:08:40.400 --> 0:08:42.320 I think it was like Voyager one or Voyager two. 0:08:42.480 --> 0:08:45.360 That's why, that's that's why, that's why Carl Sagan wanted 0:08:45.400 --> 0:08:48.400 them to take the pictures because a girl wasn't texting 0:08:48.480 --> 0:08:53.400 him back and he wanted to just realize how insignificant 0:08:53.400 --> 0:08:56.280 that was. That's why he took the picture. I don't 0:08:56.280 --> 0:08:59.400 know if it took, if he asked someone to take it, 0:08:59.480 --> 0:09:01.120 or if he did do anything. What were you going 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:01.480 to say? 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:03.520 I was going to ask if you knew that they 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:05.400 took pictures of all the planets and the solar system, 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:06.920 like the mejor. 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:11.080 Ones like at one point in time. 0:09:11.840 --> 0:09:13.920 No, with a pailblue dot like in the same like 0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:15.080 a like a panoramic type thing. 0:09:17.080 --> 0:09:22.720 I'm not. I'm not an amateur astrologist. So are you? 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:26.040 What was I going to ask you? Oh? Okay, I 0:09:26.080 --> 0:09:30.880 want to hear more about how this has humbled you. 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:33.800 I want to hear more about how do you live 0:09:33.840 --> 0:09:37.480 your life differently now that you've internalized that you don't 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:40.319 matter in the grand scheme of the planets. 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:49.559 That is a very loaded question. I think that it's 0:09:49.600 --> 0:09:54.319 made me honestly more reclusive, and it's made anxiety worse. 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:57.480 And even though I think that at the same time 0:09:57.520 --> 0:09:59.960 people should have like a similar feeling to me about 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:03.640 being tiny, I think I go overboard on that and 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:06.880 just think about it all the time. So, like, if 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:09.240 the way it's affected my life, it's been, I guess 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:10.760 not very good. It's been a negative. 0:10:10.840 --> 0:10:18.720 Okay, So you're you came to the right conclusion, which 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:21.040 is that you don't matter and your incident it's true, 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:26.320 it's really a true thing. But you're using that information 0:10:27.080 --> 0:10:31.080 in the wrong way. You're using it to be anxious. Well, 0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:34.280 tell me why, why does that make you anxious that 0:10:34.400 --> 0:10:35.040 you don't matter. 0:10:36.440 --> 0:10:38.240 Not so much that I don't matter, It's just that 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:40.440 like I'm at the whim of the universe, you know, 0:10:40.559 --> 0:10:44.600 like whatever, Like just as like stars and planets form 0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:47.920 and galaxies form, just like through physics, I in life 0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:49.880 has formed in my opinion, I'm not a religious person 0:10:49.960 --> 0:10:52.800 through physics, and if God created physics, then God whatever, 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:53.960 you know, I don't want to get in that right 0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:56.080 now anyways. But like I am just as natural as 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:58.720 the planets around me and like the atoms around me, 0:10:58.760 --> 0:11:02.240 in my opinion, because I'm also aut so like I 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:06.920 just fundamentally feel as if I, like, just as the 0:11:06.960 --> 0:11:09.040 universe got created, I could just be destroyed an instant 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:10.960 or like something else could happen. I don't know, Like 0:11:11.000 --> 0:11:14.640 I'm being a squishy meatsack is like part of my 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:19.640 fear and the whole existential system of like planets and systems, 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:22.160 Like I don't know, I'm just a squishy meatsack and 0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:24.599 like I don't know how to describe it. It's I 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:25.320 don't know, man. 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:27.880 Yeah, yeah, no, I mean it's like a fear of 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:31.520 not being in control. You're at the Earth. 0:11:31.360 --> 0:11:36.080 Swim Yeah, Like I'm just so small and human. 0:11:36.360 --> 0:11:39.440 You're like, that's it. You're you're, you're You've come to 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:41.679 the realization of your own fragility. 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:46.080 And it's scary, yes, I guess so that at the 0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:48.840 end of it, it's like I'm I'm so fragile. 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:51.560 I'm so fragile, yea, And. 0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:55.760 It terrifies me because like anything could happen, like like anything, 0:11:56.480 --> 0:11:59.320 and I like literally and why. 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:00.400 Not actually of death? 0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:04.760 But why not look at it in a more positive 0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:12.080 way of like, well, I'm fragile, but uh so is 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:17.439 everyone around me, even the most like how even whoever 0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:21.760 we think is the most powerful person, there's just a 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:29.040 fleshy little means like nothing matters, there's no why not 0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:31.359 why not just be like all right, so I'm gonna 0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:36.680 chill out, I'm gonna eat my little food. I'm gonna 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:41.200 eventually I'll return to the universe is some other thing. 0:12:41.320 --> 0:12:45.280 But this is my little time in the in the flash. 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:48.200 Let me hang out with people and eat stuff and 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:52.280 watch TV and like then it'll be over. 0:12:55.679 --> 0:12:58.520 The thing is though, that that sounds very nice, and 0:12:58.559 --> 0:13:01.959 I've tried. I'm not gonna presentd like I'm in counseling, 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:06.079 gone for counseling, Like, I've definitely tried these things, and like, okay, 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:08.080 it's that like every single time I go outside, I 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:10.160 look down at the ground and all I can imagine 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:13.160 is this huge, gigantic ball underneath me, and I'm just 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:15.000 like this tiny thing on top of it. And just 0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:16.920 like if you were to go into the forest and 0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:19.240 see a huge bear in front of you, you'd be scared. 0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:23.679 That same fears applied to just looking down at the ground. Wow, 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:25.199 or like looking up at the sky. 0:13:25.600 --> 0:13:27.720 What did the counselors tell you? I'm curious what they 0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:30.559 have to say. They're also fragile, little meat secks. 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:34.320 The thing is is that I haven't even been able 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:36.360 to talk about this and counseling because of like so 0:13:36.400 --> 0:13:39.000 many other anxieties that I have about other things. 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:43.440 Do you do anything you do? You do anything that 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:45.000 makes you feel calm? 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:49.400 And okay, I'm a musician as well, and I'm not 0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:52.640 gonna lie about my attitude and musicians ship. I've taught 0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:55.040 myself music theory over the past five years. I am 0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:58.320 a musician. I am not and if you don't think 0:13:58.320 --> 0:14:00.880 I'm an amateur astronomer, I'm definitely musician. When I use 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:07.959 that term so respects respect and when you play music, 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:10.800 you feel okay, you feel like you're you're in the 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:13.960 flow state and you're not thinking about the fact that 0:14:14.000 --> 0:14:19.360 you're an ant. Yes, yes, yes, I am only focused 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:20.080 on the music. 0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:21.400 Yeah, that's one of the. 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:26.400 Things that's uh, you know, cherish that ship, dude, that's 0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:29.680 the stuff like that is the only it's really the 0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:33.560 only stuff worth doing. I think there's stuff that gets 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:37.760 us in the flow where we're not thinking about the 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:41.240 future of the past. We're just in the fucking zone. 0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:42.640 I agree, man. 0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:44.960 But also there's a lot of stuff. There's a lot, 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:47.080 but I don't know, there's a lot of bad stuff 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:51.800 that does that for you too, Like Caroin. 0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:56.000 I think even anxiety itself is a flow state, but 0:14:56.120 --> 0:14:57.840 like it's just one that you can't control, you know, 0:14:58.240 --> 0:14:58.720 that's why. 0:14:58.760 --> 0:15:00.680 But that's why people get addict it to heroin is 0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:02.720 because it puts them in the moment, and that's it's 0:15:02.760 --> 0:15:07.920 such an attractive feeling, and that's why we chase it 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:12.160 with heroin and music sometimes in the same time chasing 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:17.200 the dragon. What's your favorite planet? 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:20.080 My favorite planet, I guess I would say Jupiter. Honestly, man, 0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:20.840 I love Jupiter. 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:24.840 Why you all right, so you're terrified of Earth, but 0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:28.040 Jupiter is like Jupiter is like, dude, isn't that crazy? 0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:31.280 Think about how big the Earth is and Jupiter's like, 0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:33.800 fucking how many times bigger than the Earth. 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:36.160 That's what I'm saying about the Sun. 0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:38.440 Man, it's crazy. Yeah, And you look. 0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:40.320 At the moon. The Moon's tinier than the Earth, right, 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:42.160 and the Sun and the Moon look the same size 0:15:42.160 --> 0:15:44.640 in the sky, even though like the Sun is like 0:15:44.840 --> 0:15:47.640 I don't know how many times further away, Like it's 0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:50.360 it's so much bigger. And that's why I'm terrified, Like, 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:54.080 I wow, it's ridiculous. 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:58.400 Think about how small an extra large McDonald's fry is. 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:05.480 It's like, it's so tiny, like the super size extra 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:08.640 large McDonald's fries. You are getting. 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:12.640 Nothing, like are you talking about in the grand scale 0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:13.520 of the universe, In. 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:15.520 The grand scale of the universe, you're getting You're literally 0:16:15.520 --> 0:16:18.640 getting nothing compared to Jupiter. It's so small. 0:16:21.160 --> 0:16:24.360 I think that the Way should advertise their next sub 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:26.720 as closer to the size of planets and the size 0:16:26.720 --> 0:16:29.560 of atoms, because technically, I think even though we are 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:31.600 very small, we're still like closer to the size of 0:16:31.600 --> 0:16:32.000 the planet. 0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:35.400 And no, you're wrong, no way, are you serious? Is 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:41.800 that true? I think so five is a five dollar 0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:44.200 foot long. I don't know if they still do that. 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:48.760 Is a foot long sandwich at subway. I know they 0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:50.880 still don't do that. I go to subway. I like 0:16:50.920 --> 0:16:57.040 subway is a foot long sandwich at subway closer to 0:16:57.120 --> 0:16:59.600 the size of the Earth than the size of a 0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:01.760 single adam? Is that true? 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:04.920 Honestly, I I feel like that was something I've maybe 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:07.520 I pulled out my ass, but I'm curious. Now I'm curious. 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:09.800 I feel like it's true. I feel like it's true. 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:13.360 Someone in the comments section can answer this question. 0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:17.520 And comment or chat. If I'm totally wrong, you just 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:20.520 can bring my ass and yeah, I'm stupid because. 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:28.440 It is, yes realm ream the amateur astrologer astronomer. I 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:32.280 keep saying astrologer. I I don't know if that's a word. 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:33.880 I think I mean astronomer. 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:38.600 Astrology is like star signs, like I'm a Pisces or whatever. 0:17:38.640 --> 0:17:40.920 I think I don't know what's your star sign. 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:43.919 I honestly, I don't. I don't follow that stuff. I 0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:49.000 don't I don't know. I don't believe in astrology. I 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:51.520 believe in astronomy, so I don't follow any of that stuff. 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:52.280 I am sorry. 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:55.680 Are you in a relationship of any kind? 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:57.120 No, unfortunately, not. 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.000 Do your What are your friends and family think about 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:02.560 how terrified you are of the sun? 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:07.720 So I haven't like expressed my like total anxiety about it, 0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:10.600 but like they know, I have some like existential dread, 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:14.240 but like not so specific about like this, like the 0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:17.640 scale of the universe and planets. But they've all been 0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:21.119 pretty supportive. It's just it's been it's been difficult to 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:24.280 like go outside every day. And I'm not even joking, 0:18:24.320 --> 0:18:26.760 like I know that that might sound like an overstatement, 0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:27.640 but like sometimes it's. 0:18:27.560 --> 0:18:28.240 Hard to go outside. 0:18:28.600 --> 0:18:32.240 So it's been difficult to actually form a bunch of relationships. 0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:33.840 I only have like a few friends, and most of 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:36.600 them I only communicate nowadays through the Internet, so it's 0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:37.560 a bit difficult. 0:18:38.320 --> 0:18:39.399 Brother. What's your name again? 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:41.040 My name is Russ. 0:18:41.400 --> 0:18:45.160 Russ. You're a good guy. Russ. I mean, I mean, 0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:49.200 you're you seem like, uh, you have a you have 0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:52.639 what I would call a respect for life. You have 0:18:52.680 --> 0:18:57.280 a respect for life, for life. You have a respect 0:18:57.280 --> 0:19:03.160 for life, and uh, you seem like a cool guy, uh, 0:19:03.800 --> 0:19:07.920 doing your music thing, looking through your telescope, doing your 0:19:07.960 --> 0:19:14.959 amateur astronomy. Hang in there, try your best to not 0:19:17.040 --> 0:19:19.960 have an existential crisis every time you look at grass. 0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:23.280 What like, next time you look at grass, instead of 0:19:23.359 --> 0:19:25.399 having an existential crisis, why don't you just be like, 0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:29.440 look how beautiful this fucking grass is? You can and 0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:31.000 you can make that decision. 0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:35.000 It's been honestly while now that you say that, like 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:36.920 the past like a couple of weeks, it's been really 0:19:37.000 --> 0:19:39.600 nice weather. I've been sitting outside a little bit more, 0:19:39.640 --> 0:19:41.880 and I've been looking at like butterflies and like caterpillars 0:19:41.880 --> 0:19:44.240 and shit, and like it's It's honestly didn't blow in 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:45.600 my mind a little bit because I've been spending so 0:19:45.680 --> 0:19:47.880 much time inside looking at like TV screens and ship 0:19:48.040 --> 0:19:49.760 for the past like two years or so, i'd say, 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:51.840 And it's like looking at grass and looking at trees 0:19:51.880 --> 0:19:54.760 and looking at like insects. It's just such a beautiful experience. 0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:56.640 I'm not gonna lie, dude. 0:19:56.840 --> 0:20:01.080 Uh. My final message tall the people at home, if 0:20:01.119 --> 0:20:05.040 I could say one thing, it's get off your computer 0:20:05.480 --> 0:20:08.359 and go outside and look at bugs. 0:20:09.200 --> 0:20:12.560 I agree you're gonna I know how at the end 0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:14.720