Speaker 1: Nicky. Hello here, I am welcome to the Nicki Glazer Podcast.
Speaker 1: It's Monday, um, episode one and something I don't even know. Uh,
Speaker 1: you guys know we are on video now right. UM.
Speaker 1: If you're watching on YouTube, hello, please comment on my
Speaker 1: looks below. Uh no, don't do that please. UM. I
Speaker 1: have not watched the video because I don't like to
Speaker 1: look at myself, but I've heard good things and UM,
Speaker 1: we're very excited about it. So you can go subscribe,
Speaker 1: uh from following the link in our Instagram account, which
Speaker 1: I do know that our Instagram account is on a
Speaker 1: private um account and you have to request access, but
Speaker 1: we'll let you in. All you gotta do is request
Speaker 1: it and then you'll get in. But listen, I post
Speaker 1: things on there that I don't want everyone to see.
Speaker 1: I just want my podcast listeners to see. I want
Speaker 1: you to have to want it. You don't just get
Speaker 1: it because you know like private accounts, I know they're
Speaker 1: a little bit kire, but you know, I want an
Speaker 1: account where I can post things that I know that
Speaker 1: people that listen to my podcast, true listeners are going
Speaker 1: to um not judge me for and I feel like
Speaker 1: on my own personal account, you post things and people
Speaker 1: can screenshot it and judge and it's just a little
Speaker 1: It honestly makes me feel like it's a um a
Speaker 1: fin sta a little bit. You know, the fake instagrams
Speaker 1: that girls I don't know if they're still doing that,
Speaker 1: but girls would make for like they're close friends and
Speaker 1: they would post like, you know, thirst traps and stuff
Speaker 1: like I feel like I can be a little bit
Speaker 1: more thirsty, a little bit more um, I don't know,
Speaker 1: just me. I can be a little more me on
Speaker 1: those accounts and like post pictures that maybe aren't so
Speaker 1: perfect and um, I don't know. Like there was one
Speaker 1: this weekend where I was showing a defense move to
Speaker 1: Andrew that I learned at a self defense class that
Speaker 1: I took on Thursday that um, and he was supposed
Speaker 1: to like straddle me and strangle me, but instead he
Speaker 1: like did the reverse. He like reversed because he was
Speaker 1: talking about how earlier that day he was talking about
Speaker 1: a new sex move he learned with his girlfriend from
Speaker 1: a porn he watched, and I think we talked about
Speaker 1: it where he she's on top and his legs are
Speaker 1: wait no, you know, usually the girls straddling the guy reverse,
Speaker 1: but in this way, he's his legs are splayed, and
Speaker 1: she puts her legs straight like she's sitting on his lap,
Speaker 1: and then can like he says, she can get like lower.
Speaker 1: You know, he's always worried about making that dick go deeper.
Speaker 1: I guess I don't know. He was telling a meal
Speaker 1: about it. And then later on that night we were
Speaker 1: doing the defense move and I go, Andrew straddle me
Speaker 1: and like trying to strangle me, and um, and he
Speaker 1: did that move and then someone took a picture of it,
Speaker 1: and it was really funny. But I just didn't want
Speaker 1: to post it on a normal one because it just
Speaker 1: looks easy and I knew you guys would get it.
Speaker 1: So that's an example. Um yeah, are you a reverse
Speaker 1: cow girl kind of girl? Uh? I like regular cowgirl style,
Speaker 1: like just riding facing the horse correct, pretending I'm on
Speaker 1: a horse? Why yeah? Why don't we ever call it
Speaker 1: cow girl? Why is it always just reverse cow girl?
Speaker 1: Does anyone say let's do cow girl? No, they just
Speaker 1: say girl on top right of the horse. Would be
Speaker 1: weird if they called it that. Do you guys do
Speaker 1: girl on top of the horse or reverse cow girl? Well,
Speaker 1: why don't you just call it cow girl. Well, we
Speaker 1: don't know. Um, I disagree with both of those positions.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be on top like ever. Um,
Speaker 1: as I've you know, covered before. Um, it's just so
Speaker 1: much work. Would you like it? Like, sorry to pry
Speaker 1: into your sexy but do you like do you like
Speaker 1: spending most of your time up there is when you
Speaker 1: were having that is? Honestly, that's the easiest way for
Speaker 1: me to have an orgasm because you have more control
Speaker 1: and you can like grind, Yeah, do you have Can
Speaker 1: you have an orgasm from just that? From no? Like really? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh dear, I wish that I could. I Like, I
Speaker 1: forgot my sex toys this weekend on the road, and
Speaker 1: it was just like, no, no, Nikki doesn't get to
Speaker 1: come this weekend. Because I did, I almost was thinking
Speaker 1: about going out the way that Andrew google is a
Speaker 1: golf course. I was looking for sex toy shops locally,
Speaker 1: but I just did not have any time. We were
Speaker 1: you know, we did Buffalo. We got into Buffalo at like,
Speaker 1: there's just no time. We did a Buffalo shows and
Speaker 1: then we had to get on a plane on Saturday
Speaker 1: and fled directly to Atlanta, and then we had two
Speaker 1: shows in Atlanta, and I just didn't have time to
Speaker 1: go to a sex shop. I was almost going to tweet, like,
Speaker 1: will someone bring me one that you haven't used or something.
Speaker 1: I'm sure someone would have done that. Um, but I
Speaker 1: really fucked up by forgetting that. I also, what else
Speaker 1: did I forgot? I forgot a couple of things on
Speaker 1: the road this weekend, but that was most. Um, that
Speaker 1: was the one that caused me to suffer the most.
Speaker 1: Do you have toys that you specifically travel with or
Speaker 1: is it just whatever you're in the mood for taking. Um,
Speaker 1: that's a good question, and it's usually. Well, the thing
Speaker 1: is I have to charge them too, so they're like
Speaker 1: properly charged. Um. And all my chords are all over
Speaker 1: the place. I'm not very organized. My chord management is just,
Speaker 1: you know, terrible. I bring I generally bring a section
Speaker 1: one and then a penetrative one, and sometimes that is
Speaker 1: in one toy together. But that also gets tricky because
Speaker 1: when you want to penetrate yourself with one of them
Speaker 1: and go in and out, then the section part comes
Speaker 1: off to you know, like it doesn't stay. It's also complicated.
Speaker 1: Um No, I usually I think I could just bring
Speaker 1: a section toy and be a Okay, I could be
Speaker 1: aoc um, but I just don't. I don't even know
Speaker 1: that the section toy I just bought was like not
Speaker 1: it's not good enough. It's like nothing's good enough anymore. No, Like,
Speaker 1: I seriously have problems with addiction, like to anything where
Speaker 1: it's like something will satisfy my needs and then I
Speaker 1: just need more and I need more and I need more.
Speaker 1: It's never it doesn't just stay like, oh, this is
Speaker 1: a good amount like anything that I ever enjoy. It's
Speaker 1: never enough. It always needs to be more, and then
Speaker 1: it just goes to a place where it's like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna hurt myself because I'm I'm using so much and
Speaker 1: I just I don't, Yeah, the toys aren't cutting it
Speaker 1: for me anymore. I don't even know what to recommend
Speaker 1: to people anymore, because I'm like, this would probably be
Speaker 1: great for you, but it's worthless for me. And the
Speaker 1: idea that I could, I mean, it's tragic for me
Speaker 1: to think about in a world where toys didn't exist,
Speaker 1: I just would never have an orgasm. And I'm you know,
Speaker 1: I can kind of get there, you know with someone
Speaker 1: else if I don't have one, but I adding a
Speaker 1: toy to sex is makes an orgasm a thousand times
Speaker 1: more achievable for me, Like it really amps it up
Speaker 1: that much. It's just like it's like having it's a guarantee. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like pushing a car up a hill. You could
Speaker 1: get it up a hill if you have enough brawn,
Speaker 1: but like wouldn't you rather just turn the car on
Speaker 1: and like get up. That's why I'm I'm just so yes,
Speaker 1: it's a guarantee. It's not even a guarantee. Honestly, it's
Speaker 1: not even guarantee, but it's just way more likely to happen.
Speaker 1: What I will say is that I think my orgasm
Speaker 1: especially like actually even with porn. First of all, I
Speaker 1: need porn. I couldn't just do it by myself. And
Speaker 1: I know that I'm saying these things, like the way
Speaker 1: that I just yelled at you guys for maybe saying
Speaker 1: things to yourself where you're like, I can't do it.
Speaker 1: I just can't. Like I haven't tried to come without
Speaker 1: porn or just with my hands um and forever, but
Speaker 1: I just don't have the time to even try, Like
Speaker 1: it's going to take a while. If I can maybe
Speaker 1: I can, but it's it's going to take much time,
Speaker 1: and I don't have two hours in my day to
Speaker 1: devote to that. Um And I do feel like a
Speaker 1: lot of my orgasm is dependent on things that are said,
Speaker 1: and that's why, you know, the porn I watch. I'm
Speaker 1: even reluctant to like say the thing that I like
Speaker 1: so much now because it's just so specifically weird. But
Speaker 1: it's just like I know what I need to hear
Speaker 1: now and it's like so weird. I honestly, I'm not
Speaker 1: comfortable enough disclosing it right now, but like I am
Speaker 1: into overall. I will say when men are uh, you know,
Speaker 1: I I've I've been I've I've said this before when
Speaker 1: men are challenging a woman to have an orgasm but
Speaker 1: telling her she can't, and then finally when she can,
Speaker 1: they're like really celebratory of her, and they're not like
Speaker 1: mad at her, but they're really like, there's a certain
Speaker 1: thing and sad one that I really like for a
Speaker 1: guy to do, and I can't even do it because
Speaker 1: it's so like it's so vulnerable for me to do it,
Speaker 1: but like I really like, um, yeah, it's too much.
Speaker 1: I can't. I need to like work on it with
Speaker 1: a therapist or like maybe I could tell you individually Noah,
Speaker 1: but like telling everyone I can't yet. Um, and that's good.
Speaker 1: What isn't that good that I have something that I'm
Speaker 1: not ready to disclose because that doesn't happen that often.
Speaker 1: But it's just, UM, I don't know. I mean, it
Speaker 1: definitely relates to my own life and like wanting to
Speaker 1: like I was having UM, I was having sexual relations
Speaker 1: recently with someone, and UM, I was being pushed to
Speaker 1: the limit, like really like it was there were parts
Speaker 1: of me that were like, I can't do this. It's
Speaker 1: exhausting and it's a lot of work, and it was
Speaker 1: just like and that's the way I like stuff to
Speaker 1: to run, but this was like to the point where
Speaker 1: I was like gonna tap out a little bit. But
Speaker 1: then I just it started to feel like at the
Speaker 1: end of a really long run, like the end of
Speaker 1: a marathon, where you're like so exhausted, but you know
Speaker 1: the way you're going to feel when you reach the
Speaker 1: finish line is worth the I love suffering. I think
Speaker 1: that's it. I love I can't reap the reward and
Speaker 1: really enjoy rest and relaxation and celebration and um and
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't reward myself until I've put myself
Speaker 1: through the ringer and it makes it that much more sweet.
Speaker 1: And it's not because I mean I do let myself
Speaker 1: relax now and again and enjoy self care as you know,
Speaker 1: it's self care is a nice way of rephrasing things
Speaker 1: that you think are like lazy, and it's true, like
Speaker 1: me watching a lot of TV binging something, It's like
Speaker 1: sometimes that is self care. Me nap when I don't
Speaker 1: think I deserve it. I just have to deserve everything.
Speaker 1: And I think for me to like let myself have
Speaker 1: an oh, I have to like suffer first. And it's
Speaker 1: not because I'm like you don't deserve it. It's like
Speaker 1: because I know it's going to be that much better
Speaker 1: if I just hold off and like really push myself
Speaker 1: and at the end of it, I'll be able to
Speaker 1: like cross the finish line and get that gold medal
Speaker 1: and that little like silver blanket and everyone's going to
Speaker 1: be like you did it as opposed to like if
Speaker 1: you just did it. I don't know, it's like, why
Speaker 1: does my life have to run this way? Like man,
Speaker 1: I did two shows in Atlanta on Saturday night, and
Speaker 1: I was exhausted by the end of them. And I
Speaker 1: just don't feel deserving of feeling exhausted by just standing
Speaker 1: on stage and talking. I just don't feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: I complaining about that or admitting to myself that it's tiring,
Speaker 1: or feeling like feeling a little bit sorry for myself, like, wow,
Speaker 1: you really did a lot tonight. I just don't think
Speaker 1: I deserve it, and I just feel I feel so
Speaker 1: bad about being tired. Um, but it was so exhausting
Speaker 1: in the second show. There were so many drunk people
Speaker 1: just like screaming out, like that's the problem. On the
Speaker 1: second show, I wanted it to be so much fun
Speaker 1: and like loose and for me to take my time
Speaker 1: and explore other areas. Didn't happen because the second I
Speaker 1: would be quiet, drunk people would feel the need to talk.
Speaker 1: That's why I talked so fucking fast. It's born of
Speaker 1: the fact that I don't want hecklers to come in
Speaker 1: and say anything mean. Like early on in my career,
Speaker 1: I just didn't want people to be like you suck,
Speaker 1: and I just didn't want the silence. I wanted to
Speaker 1: always control them with like either they're laughing or I'm talking.
Speaker 1: There's no silence nowhere for them to like whisper to
Speaker 1: each other. She sucks because they'll miss something I say,
Speaker 1: you know, And now I use that same skill I
Speaker 1: honed from being insecure and not wanting people to hate me,
Speaker 1: to just plow through because I don't want to deal
Speaker 1: with hecklers, because my whole set is about you know, well,
Speaker 1: that one in particular. It's not always about this, but
Speaker 1: that one in particular was about getting older, and you know,
Speaker 1: the beauty industry and the fact that you know, the
Speaker 1: self love industry and the body positivity movement and how
Speaker 1: we're gas lit into thinking like love yourself. It's one
Speaker 1: of on the inside that counts. Yet everything tells us
Speaker 1: to the contrary. And if you're a woman who acknowledges
Speaker 1: that being attractive gets you things in the world, you're
Speaker 1: suddenly a bad feminist, even though I'm sorry, but it's
Speaker 1: it does. It's not bad to call out the things
Speaker 1: that are still happening. We're not. We didn't just wake
Speaker 1: up one day after a Dove campaign and go the
Speaker 1: biggest beautiful like that's it didn't happen that it doesn't
Speaker 1: happen that quickly, the same kind of rhetoric and pressure
Speaker 1: that women are feeling to just love themselves, love your
Speaker 1: body no matter what. Like this all this bullshit, it's
Speaker 1: bullshit because women who are skinny and beautiful and young
Speaker 1: are still being given most of the things. There's a
Speaker 1: couple examples where we're like, oh, we like her even
Speaker 1: though there's that one girl on UM, this is us.
Speaker 1: Remember there's a there's a fat woman on tv C.
Speaker 1: We did it. It's done. It's the same thing as
Speaker 1: like Obama, we had him breecisms over. No, it's not.
Speaker 1: That's a slight improvement, but it's not. You don't we
Speaker 1: like Adele. We're fine with with with having fat celebrities. Okay,
Speaker 1: well you did it once or twice, but it's it's
Speaker 1: still a problem. And I know saying this as a skinny,
Speaker 1: fucking white twat uh, it doesn't really buy me much currency.
Speaker 1: But I can still call out the fact that it's
Speaker 1: we're for me to say that being thin gets you
Speaker 1: things in Hollywood, and that sometimes I want to be
Speaker 1: thin and beautiful and young because it will get me
Speaker 1: more things. I can get in trouble for saying that
Speaker 1: even though it's true, still it's still true. So why
Speaker 1: am I getting Why would I get in trouble? You're
Speaker 1: setting a bad example for women. When little girls hear
Speaker 1: you say that, they're gonna feel like they have to
Speaker 1: be thin and beautiful. Um, I hate to say it.
Speaker 1: Based on the evidence, they kind of do and and
Speaker 1: I don't think it's right. Just because I'm saying that
Speaker 1: I feel the pressure to do that doesn't mean I'm
Speaker 1: saying that it's right. I wish that you could be
Speaker 1: any size you want and look anyway. God, I wish that,
Speaker 1: but it's just not true. And until we acknowledge that
Speaker 1: these things are still happening and not deny them. Because
Speaker 1: you know, there's a couple Instagram accounts that show like
Speaker 1: the truth, you know, that point out your flaws and
Speaker 1: celebrate your flaws, it's not enough. That's good. I'm glad
Speaker 1: those accounts exist. I post those accounts. I love those
Speaker 1: girls that show. Mainly those are for men. I think
Speaker 1: women know that when you arch your back and stick
Speaker 1: your butt out, cellulate goes away. You can make your
Speaker 1: butt look really nice. I want men to know that
Speaker 1: is what you're looking at like, because men don't know
Speaker 1: our tricks women do. This isn't for women as much
Speaker 1: as it is for men, because when we change what
Speaker 1: men want and what men expect, then things can change.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I was just I wanted to go off
Speaker 1: on this thing on on Saturday night, and by doing that,
Speaker 1: I have to kind of complain about all this stuff.
Speaker 1: And then and then drunk people just go, you're beautiful, Nikki,
Speaker 1: You're so hot, and I'm like, that is not what
Speaker 1: I'm trying. That is the I go, that's not what
Speaker 1: I'm want to hear. I know I'm good looking, lady.
Speaker 1: I'm trying my fucking best. I'm not complaining that I'm not.
Speaker 1: What I'm complaining about is that I feel pressured to
Speaker 1: uphold this, and by you saying that I'm hot validates
Speaker 1: the fact that it's important to be hot. You saying
Speaker 1: that to me is is it's not wrong, Like we
Speaker 1: all do it. I say it to my friends. I
Speaker 1: say it to people to make them feel better. If
Speaker 1: you tell someone they're beautiful and they look younger than
Speaker 1: their age, and you look so hot, and these are
Speaker 1: things you're saying because you want to make that person
Speaker 1: feel good, and maybe they're true, but you're you're you're
Speaker 1: acknowledging that you said this because it might make this
Speaker 1: person feel good. You're acknowledging that if they're not those things,
Speaker 1: they should probably feel bad. That's that's the logic there.
Speaker 1: I feel autistic sometimes, Honestly. I was watching Love on
Speaker 1: the Spectrum last night. There's a new character named Jaden,
Speaker 1: and he truly speaks my truth, which is that everything,
Speaker 1: in everything in life you have to dissect and be like,
Speaker 1: what's the purpose of that? And why do we do that?
Speaker 1: We tell women they look young and hot, like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, you're forty. You do not look forty. That's
Speaker 1: acknowledging that looking forty would be bad, right, Because if
Speaker 1: someone looks sixty and they're fifty, we wouldn't go, oh
Speaker 1: my god, you're sixty or you're fifty, you look sixty.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't say that to someone. Why because it acknowledges
Speaker 1: that being sixty is worse somehow inherently? And why why?
Speaker 1: Because men don't want to fox sixty year olds as
Speaker 1: much as fifty year old and you're closer to death
Speaker 1: and you're you're more irrelevant. I'm not saying that's true.
Speaker 1: I'm saying that based on things that based on the
Speaker 1: observable facts around us, that's that's true. So bottom line
Speaker 1: is I shouldn't go on this crusade when I'm performing
Speaker 1: for drunk people because I just get a lot of
Speaker 1: drunk women going, you're hot. I would, I'd fuck you,
Speaker 1: And it's just like that is you're missing the point.
Speaker 1: So late shows I might have to suspend because it's
Speaker 1: a lot of and you can't, you can't. I threw
Speaker 1: out one drunk person at Buffalo show on Friday night.
Speaker 1: I did throw up, but they tossed her out because
Speaker 1: she just wouldn't stop heckling, and I felt bad for her.
Speaker 1: I mean, this woman clearly just drink too much and
Speaker 1: was trying to participate. All these people are but on
Speaker 1: Saturday night late showing in Atlanta, too many to even
Speaker 1: crowd control, so I just had to plow through and
Speaker 1: it made it not It made it exhausting for me
Speaker 1: and not as fun for the people that were there
Speaker 1: and not drunk. So um. But I did get some
Speaker 1: feedback from people who weren't drunk and they had a
Speaker 1: good time, So I'm glad that that's the truth. Let's
Speaker 1: talk about this all with Andrew What up Drew with? Um,
Speaker 1: I was just talking about the shows this weekend second
Speaker 1: show Saturday, A little drunk you drunk? Was it like
Speaker 1: that for you? Yeah? They laughed kind of weird. They
Speaker 1: were never when the crowds drunk, you can they feel delayed,
Speaker 1: but they're like not laughing together. They're on they're they're
Speaker 1: all in their own little party. Yeah, it's interesting. It's
Speaker 1: there is more of freedom in a drunk you drunk
Speaker 1: show because they're never going to remember it that you
Speaker 1: just have to like fake like you're They just convinced them.
Speaker 1: The overall feeling was a fun time. Yeah, and um,
Speaker 1: you know it was so drunk. It was too many
Speaker 1: drunk people, and I know there are people there that
Speaker 1: were not drunk, and it just felt bad for them. Well,
Speaker 1: I think it's a ten thirty show later show. You're Saturday,
Speaker 1: they're probably day drinking. They're like, we're gonna see Nikki
Speaker 1: tonight and they're like, let's I mean, you usually think
Speaker 1: the Friday late show is terrible because everyone's tired, But
Speaker 1: everyone's tired all the time. Now, like, let's let's stop
Speaker 1: pretending that everyone's just tired on the weekdays. I feel
Speaker 1: like COVID every well, at least for a while, every
Speaker 1: day kind of started to become the same day, like
Speaker 1: every day was yeah, that was it was less of yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah, No, I think Saturday, I'm sure a lot
Speaker 1: of them will get together for a dinner, like it's
Speaker 1: a whole event to see you, and so they probably
Speaker 1: start drinking at dinner, and then they find a bar
Speaker 1: near the show. Thirty is so late for a show.
Speaker 1: I mean, I even was like, what are we doing here?
Speaker 1: Because then you know, we get started fifteen minutes later too, generally,
Speaker 1: and then by the time I got on stage, it's
Speaker 1: eleven fifteen, and then by the time I'm off stage
Speaker 1: it's twelve thirty. I mean that we're into the next day.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I think you should be able to be like
Speaker 1: it should all be understood that I'm gonna do for
Speaker 1: a great But that thing is, I can't give them
Speaker 1: that right now because I want to. I'm still working
Speaker 1: on so much material and I don't know, I just
Speaker 1: feel like I want I would have to talk too fast,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to do that. Um, but I
Speaker 1: am gonna have to whittle it down to an hour.
Speaker 1: I really, I've been saying it for a while now,
Speaker 1: but I gotta I gotta get my special ready today.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna actually write out my set verbatim, just try
Speaker 1: to say like what it would look like if I'm
Speaker 1: like type it out. I don't even know what that's
Speaker 1: gonna be. I'm very scared. I just cannot. I can't
Speaker 1: do everything right now. And I'm okay with that, Like
Speaker 1: my special is going to be the um so I
Speaker 1: just yeah. I almost just share this just in case
Speaker 1: everyone out there is like, I need to do this
Speaker 1: thing and I haven't done it. I've been putting it off.
Speaker 1: Whether it's like you're writing a book, or you have
Speaker 1: a report do for school, or you have to write
Speaker 1: a thank you card or thank you like anything that
Speaker 1: you've been like putting off business thing no matter what
Speaker 1: it is, like you didn't get to it because you
Speaker 1: couldn't get to it. It's not because you're lazy, it's not.
Speaker 1: It's like the world like is a vampire? Wait, what
Speaker 1: does that? The world is a vampire? I only know
Speaker 1: that song from you singing it, Like, no, you knew
Speaker 1: the song, you just didn't know that. I didn't know
Speaker 1: the beginning. I know, I don't know how I didn't
Speaker 1: know that it's a disconnected song. It starts like that
Speaker 1: some songs start off. It's like, how is this even? Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I know what you mean, like rolling stones. Uh, it's
Speaker 1: just like what. I was so confused by that um
Speaker 1: as a as a child, I remember all my friends
Speaker 1: in high school playing that song and everyone knew it
Speaker 1: right away from like the choir kids choir singing, and
Speaker 1: I was like, why don't I know this song? Like
Speaker 1: every these people who have bad tastes in music, not this.
Speaker 1: I want to hear the rest of the choir song.
Speaker 1: I mean that sounds like it's always so good. When
Speaker 1: I was so annoyed this morning, I went to h
Speaker 1: schedule a doctor's appointment right and uh, if you're a
Speaker 1: new patient, So I called this one place. They go, uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: well we might. This is why I tried to postpone
Speaker 1: tomorrow because they go for the podcast tomorrow. They they
Speaker 1: were like, we could have a cancelation tomorrow. You coming out.
Speaker 1: I can't do that. They're like, well, how's November thirtieth,
Speaker 1: And I go, okay, let me call back every morning
Speaker 1: and see if you have a cancelation at work That's
Speaker 1: the only reason why I pushed the podcast, because I
Speaker 1: was like, all right, well, now I'll take the cancelation,
Speaker 1: because so then I'll go, okay, I hang up, I
Speaker 1: don't hang on my go okay, I'll call another day
Speaker 1: and see I call another place. They take all my
Speaker 1: insurance information, right, They don't even ask you what's wrong
Speaker 1: with you? They just want to make sure they're gonna
Speaker 1: get paid Before they even go why are you even
Speaker 1: coming in to go? What's your insurance? Let me make
Speaker 1: sure I'll get paid live in the state. They don't
Speaker 1: even know if you can go there. You might have
Speaker 1: called the wrong number. And they're like, look, you don't
Speaker 1: even have to come in. Just give us your insurance.
Speaker 1: We won't even see you, but we're going to charge
Speaker 1: you feb Did you hear me? Is that true? That's
Speaker 1: their first appointment. They took all my info. They go
Speaker 1: they called my insurance company to make sure it's covered.
Speaker 1: They get my address, they get my phone number, they
Speaker 1: get in all this ship for the fucking thing, and
Speaker 1: then they go all right, let's see. Um, I go, well,
Speaker 1: how long it's taking. I'm starting to think this isn't
Speaker 1: gonna probably work out. They go, I'll just wait. I'm
Speaker 1: February like said it like like like next Wednesday. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like it was a like think think you know what,
Speaker 1: here you go, here's February. Oh I found something. If
Speaker 1: I doing you a favor, if I had cancer, you're dead.
Speaker 1: I know that thing about cancer is like you you
Speaker 1: go in, you find out you have a suspicious thing.
Speaker 1: And when I go in for a biopsy, and then
Speaker 1: the biopsy is six months later and you go, Um,
Speaker 1: what I didn't know that was a thing. I didn't
Speaker 1: know that they could make you wait to get cancer results.
Speaker 1: Is it time bad in cancer world? Yes, it's horrible.
Speaker 1: When my dad got breast cancer, early detection the key. Yes,
Speaker 1: Well that's when like someone goes, I feel kind of sick.
Speaker 1: Oh you're gonna die in five days. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: well you didn't see me for fucking seven months. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Why do they never get the blame of like, well,
Speaker 1: I couldn't get an appointment, so, um, you know that
Speaker 1: diagnosis you're giving me, Um, do you think you could
Speaker 1: have caught it? They probably, like, I wondered, your dad's
Speaker 1: a cancer doctor, he's got to know the answer to this,
Speaker 1: Like do some people people get diagnosed and go, well,
Speaker 1: I've been trying to get in here for three fucking months. Sure,
Speaker 1: I'm sure. And also it's like, okay, if you can't
Speaker 1: see me till February and you're making money off patients
Speaker 1: and the demand is that high, why are you not
Speaker 1: open till eight at night? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like if you have all the you're just wasting money
Speaker 1: or you're you know, I mean, maybe they don't have
Speaker 1: enough people working. I mean that's what I always think
Speaker 1: about when you know, there are businesses that are like
Speaker 1: Starbucks down the street from us close it sometimes just
Speaker 1: like you know, because they don't have enough workers and
Speaker 1: so like I think, oh, when hospital enough doctors so
Speaker 1: they can't work over time for the extra three hours
Speaker 1: to see new page. Yeah, I mean, like doctors need
Speaker 1: to sleep, to my other, even though they have all
Speaker 1: the access to things that will keep them up forever
Speaker 1: working and working. Yeah. Well, my dad got breast cancer
Speaker 1: and he got his tick cut off within two weeks.
Speaker 1: Like he was like, well, yeah, he's going to be
Speaker 1: front of the line because sees it. He cut it
Speaker 1: off himself. Yeah, I mean he probably got up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he probably good. He just had to drink some whiskey
Speaker 1: and bite down on a spoon like they do in
Speaker 1: Brave Heart or whatever time. So my thought though, is
Speaker 1: part's not civil war a little after yeah, freedom, they're
Speaker 1: talking war of eighteen twelve, Um, what happened? What year
Speaker 1: was that? Anyway? So what year was French and Indian
Speaker 1: where you actually know the French and Indian fought at
Speaker 1: the same time. Has anyone ever said that to you?
Speaker 1: I always felt that was really annoying. Wait what did
Speaker 1: they say? Well, you know the French and Indian War.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, you know what it's called that because
Speaker 1: the French and the Indian fought together against the British.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, so it wasn't like a
Speaker 1: French versus Indians. No. Oh, I definitely thought that. I
Speaker 1: don't know anything about history. I'm like, I'm really scared
Speaker 1: about his story. But so a new patient can't be
Speaker 1: seen for months, right, does that? You know? What I
Speaker 1: think though? What I think is that a new patient,
Speaker 1: they most likely don't have cancer or most likely don't
Speaker 1: have anything that's going to make them more money, but
Speaker 1: a reoccurring patient is sick, so they're gonna keep making
Speaker 1: money off that patient, So it's probably easier as a
Speaker 1: reoccurring patient to get it. I think it's probably easier
Speaker 1: as a recurring patient because you have those miles, you know,
Speaker 1: like you have status at the place, you've been there before,
Speaker 1: you spent money. Like and when I call a place
Speaker 1: and I've been a a customer for a while, I
Speaker 1: would like to be right away over a new patient.
Speaker 1: But it is true, like new patients, like you, getting
Speaker 1: a doctor's appointment and getting in soon is just so
Speaker 1: hard to do. What are you going to the doctor
Speaker 1: for regular stuff? Well, Brenna saw like a thing on
Speaker 1: my ear where She's like, I think that's cancerous. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't say, what are you saying?
Speaker 1: Why what are you putting in my head? Here? Bree dog?
Speaker 1: I miss you, baby cakes. I mean maybe I don't
Speaker 1: think you want to let me see it. I mean,
Speaker 1: you can't even see. You're gonna say it's nothing, and
Speaker 1: then I'm overreacting, but I don't. It's like on my ear,
Speaker 1: but it's been there for a long time. It's a
Speaker 1: growth kind of thing. It's like right here, it's here,
Speaker 1: you see how it's raised, Like, yeah, I might have
Speaker 1: just some broccoli up there, but uh, you know, if
Speaker 1: you ate vegetables, I might think it was I go,
Speaker 1: I don't need to see anyone, and she's like, no,
Speaker 1: you gotta see. You have a dermatologist. So while I'm there,
Speaker 1: maybe I'll have them check out a few other things.
Speaker 1: What about like a regular doctor. Have you been like,
Speaker 1: got like a full exam? You're just well the one
Speaker 1: through ut after right, that's right. I mean I need
Speaker 1: to call it. I mean there's so much stuff I
Speaker 1: had have to do. Have you ever tried to make
Speaker 1: an appointment? And it's just like, yeah, what is that?
Speaker 1: I got to talk to my dad about. I talked
Speaker 1: to my father. I had a toothache like a month
Speaker 1: ago and I could in my mouth. And the first
Speaker 1: place I called I was like, oh you know, um,
Speaker 1: is there any way that I can come in? I'm
Speaker 1: just having this really bad toothache. And the reception is
Speaker 1: like straight like very straight face, goes um, okay, Well,
Speaker 1: the next appointment I have is twelve pm on October two.
Speaker 1: This is like and that was a month ago. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was over a month ago that right then, your
Speaker 1: tooth are hurting? Now got a castaway and shoves ice
Speaker 1: skate in there and knock it out in ald Cave
Speaker 1: on An Island. I mean that is and I think
Speaker 1: it just depends because then I was able to call
Speaker 1: a different place and um, you know, the receptionist was
Speaker 1: a but kinder and like treated me like a human being.
Speaker 1: And she's like, you know what, why don't you just
Speaker 1: come out one o'clock today and we'll we'll put you
Speaker 1: in between the patients. And I said, okay, great, you
Speaker 1: know even if I have to wait around, and I
Speaker 1: just appreciate you letting me come in. Yeah, you know what,
Speaker 1: this talk is going to get me to make some
Speaker 1: doctor's appointments same right, like today, Well it's interesting like
Speaker 1: when because I hope, yeah, I got I got a
Speaker 1: week free in in April, so I think I want
Speaker 1: to I just want to get them scheduled now. I
Speaker 1: know that I have a spring break coming up and
Speaker 1: during the next summer Olympics. And then you finally go,
Speaker 1: You're like what's wrong? You're like, you're perfectly healthy. It's like, well,
Speaker 1: why the fund did I even come? It's it's important
Speaker 1: to go. Do you when you get when you get
Speaker 1: weighed at the doctor, do you want to know the number.
Speaker 1: I don't really care. I don't weigh myself much. But yeah,
Speaker 1: but when you go to the doctor, you get that,
Speaker 1: you get the number they usually tell you. I'd be
Speaker 1: completely fine with getting Oh man, I don't like the number.
Speaker 1: The number is never gonna like that. That has been
Speaker 1: something for me that has been very helpful with my
Speaker 1: body image stuff. Is just not ever weighing myself and
Speaker 1: not knowing the number ever even if I go to
Speaker 1: the doctor. I was listening to some radio show the
Speaker 1: other day and they're talking about going to the doctor
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh I am, I weigh a lot
Speaker 1: more than I thought. And it's just it doesn't ever
Speaker 1: make you, doesn't motivate you in the right way. It
Speaker 1: just makes you feel sad, which leads to eating more.
Speaker 1: Like you think it's gonna motivate you. It rarely does that,
Speaker 1: and it just makes you fucking so sad, and so
Speaker 1: I always do um. I was like, you know, get
Speaker 1: on the scale backwards and just have them and then
Speaker 1: I can hear them the pen kind of even writing,
Speaker 1: and I go, that was a one board. And sometimes
Speaker 1: they like they just purposely like leave it on the
Speaker 1: screen like they want you to fucking know. It's like
Speaker 1: there's this weird power that they know that they have
Speaker 1: over you. No one gets their weight and it's excited
Speaker 1: about it. Ever. I mean, that's the thing you if
Speaker 1: you go into the doctor and let's say I have
Speaker 1: a number in mind where I'm like, I know when
Speaker 1: i'm that number, I'm like so skinny and like my
Speaker 1: like everyone is like commenting on how skinny I am,
Speaker 1: but not in like a concerned way. It's like my
Speaker 1: best weight. That makes me feel like yeah, whatever, Like
Speaker 1: there's a number I have in my head if it
Speaker 1: if it is that number, then I have to Then
Speaker 1: I get in my head and I go, I gotta
Speaker 1: maintain it. I'm just at that number, so that means
Speaker 1: I'm quickly. I could go over that number very easily
Speaker 1: if I just drink too much water, And then I
Speaker 1: started obsessing over like we gotta stay at that. So
Speaker 1: it doesn't even even if I hit the number I want,
Speaker 1: it doesn't give me the satisfaction. If it's below then
Speaker 1: I start going, uh, well, maybe maybe I'm wrong about
Speaker 1: that number. Maybe the number has to be even lower
Speaker 1: because I don't feel like that skinny right now, and
Speaker 1: I don't even feel like good about myself. So now
Speaker 1: the number should maybe five pounds lower than I think
Speaker 1: it is. Now I'm now I'm over the number that
Speaker 1: I even went in four or it's a number. Most
Speaker 1: likely it's a number that's five pounds over what I
Speaker 1: think it is, and then that's a whole fucking thing.
Speaker 1: So just don't get the number for your know how
Speaker 1: your clothes fit, you know how it fits, don't get them.
Speaker 1: You don't need to know the number unless there is
Speaker 1: a tumorous mass that weighs thirty pounds somewhere in your system.
Speaker 1: That wouldn't affect the way your jeans fit. You don't
Speaker 1: need to know the number. You know when you put
Speaker 1: on clothes, if you're a little overweight or not. You
Speaker 1: just know, do you think? I think what happens to
Speaker 1: is like whatever your height is, there's like a number
Speaker 1: that they determine is what's healthy. And for me, I'm
Speaker 1: like five nine in a quarter two a half just
Speaker 1: under three quarters. Um, I think it's more like five eight,
Speaker 1: and the three quarters that's what I am were exactly
Speaker 1: the same mine. You're under five nine. I think I'm
Speaker 1: like right on, like a you must have shrunk because
Speaker 1: I'm five nine in a quarter where I really don't
Speaker 1: think I did. Maybe so anyway, alright, so six and no.
Speaker 1: But there's a way that they tell They're like, if
Speaker 1: you're five nine, you should be a sixty pounds. I
Speaker 1: will if I got to you would think I'm dying
Speaker 1: you You would say something to me like and you
Speaker 1: need to eat, something like there are there's I feel
Speaker 1: like there's like a putting that number. It makes the
Speaker 1: person think, oh, I'm not healthy unless on that number,
Speaker 1: and then they're gonna go crazy over the number, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. See, that's so funny that you go,
Speaker 1: I'm not healthy if I'm at the number. I do
Speaker 1: not think of health when it comes to wait ever,
Speaker 1: and I that's that's because I'm so damaged from the
Speaker 1: way that. I mean, I went on a rant about
Speaker 1: it before you got in here. But like women do not.
Speaker 1: Really I'm not speaking for all of us, but when
Speaker 1: we think of a number, we don't go I'm not
Speaker 1: healthy at the number. We go, I'm not lovable at
Speaker 1: that number. I mean, that's what it translates to. It's
Speaker 1: interesting that you go, oh, I might be dying. I
Speaker 1: think women when they have extra weight. It's like I'm
Speaker 1: fat at that it's not like and fat doesn't equal unhealthy.
Speaker 1: And even though we know that if you're overweight you're
Speaker 1: more susceptible to disease and stuff like that, but it doesn't.
Speaker 1: That's like a that's an afterthought, like you Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was listening to some kind of like podcast yesterday about
Speaker 1: a girl that used to um you know, uh, induced
Speaker 1: vomiting by drinking ipocac. You know, the stuff that you
Speaker 1: give people if they have you know, parents used to
Speaker 1: have it just in case your kids eat poison, and
Speaker 1: so it will just make you puke everything, and and
Speaker 1: you can die from taking up a cap like it
Speaker 1: can often cause death in people. And the woman did
Speaker 1: it as a child because she's trying to lose weight,
Speaker 1: and she saw some you know, after school special about
Speaker 1: boliemi and was like, oh, I'll take this thing that
Speaker 1: my parents said make me throw up. So she did
Speaker 1: it and literally felt like she was dying. And then
Speaker 1: she found out it could kill you, and she kept
Speaker 1: doing it, and she was like she said something about
Speaker 1: like it didn't matter that it could kill me, Like
Speaker 1: I wanted to be thin more than health, Like it's
Speaker 1: not we we can pretend that these things are about
Speaker 1: like health, but it's like nothing tastes as good as
Speaker 1: skinny feels like. That's a line that Moss apparently said,
Speaker 1: but it um And you know, there have been times
Speaker 1: in my life that I did feel that way, but
Speaker 1: it wasn't like the way skinny feels made me feel good.
Speaker 1: It made me feel trapped in uh my own It
Speaker 1: was just the most isolating thing. It makes you. That's
Speaker 1: why I can't stand being around people who are dieting.
Speaker 1: I just won't do it because if you're dieting, you're hungry.
Speaker 1: You're either focused on like I get to eat soon,
Speaker 1: and that's all you can think of, so you're not present,
Speaker 1: You're not like with me, it makes me. It reminds
Speaker 1: me of being with drunk people. It's like I would
Speaker 1: hate to perform for a bunch of hungry people. It's
Speaker 1: the no. We all know that people get angry when
Speaker 1: they're hungry, angry, agitated. Yeah, And it's just like I
Speaker 1: don't want to be around anyone dieting. That's why I
Speaker 1: can't be around If my friends are doing some kind
Speaker 1: of cleanse, I go, I'm not gonna hang out with you.
Speaker 1: Because you're not even if you're like, I love it. It
Speaker 1: It makes me feel so good. I know you're looking
Speaker 1: at every like thing around you being like that looks good.
Speaker 1: I've been starving before. I know what it's like. It's
Speaker 1: not fun, and so if you, yeah, I just I
Speaker 1: cut people out of my life that are That's why
Speaker 1: it gets so mad at you when you like don't
Speaker 1: prepare to eat because I don't want to be around
Speaker 1: you when you're hungry. But I don't. I'm not ever
Speaker 1: angry towards you. You're not angry, but you're just it's
Speaker 1: not even angry, it's distracted. It's like, but I do
Speaker 1: think it's not because you're doing it to lose weight.
Speaker 1: You just like didn't bring a snack for like a
Speaker 1: long travel day. I hear you, but I just like
Speaker 1: with that, I just feel like, if if I'm hungry,
Speaker 1: I'll eat like I don't know if like you're putting
Speaker 1: on like I feel like. I know I'm trying to
Speaker 1: control your situation. I get that, and it's none of
Speaker 1: my business. But if I have to be around you
Speaker 1: for a long car ride after we landed an airport,
Speaker 1: and I know we're gonna get there and nothing's gonna
Speaker 1: be open to eat and nothing. Then that's your own
Speaker 1: like brain of what you People don't noticed you're different
Speaker 1: when you haven't eaten, not just me, but buddy, people
Speaker 1: have noticed I'm different. Yeah, I guess you're just me.
Speaker 1: But everyone is different. I mean, but you're saying that
Speaker 1: like like people are like Andrews. They are, Yeah, they are.
Speaker 1: I mean, no, you are different when you're hungry, and
Speaker 1: so I don't want to be around it. And I
Speaker 1: know that's trying to control you, but I can't, like,
Speaker 1: you know, do a roll out of a van just
Speaker 1: like onto the highway to get away from you. I
Speaker 1: just have to be around it. I know. But why
Speaker 1: don't you just say, hey, Andrew, you're being at the time.
Speaker 1: Well that's why I feel like people are talking about
Speaker 1: me behind my back. No, no no one's talking about you
Speaker 1: behind your back. It's just a thing because I've said
Speaker 1: before too, like we need to have food for Andrew
Speaker 1: before we get to the show because I don't like
Speaker 1: his energy when he's hungry, and so when when you eat,
Speaker 1: you just calm down a lot. It's true, It's true, dude,
Speaker 1: I I do. You don't think that you're different after
Speaker 1: you've eaten. No, I just can't believe. It's just a
Speaker 1: topic of conversation that I'm not even privy to. It
Speaker 1: just it's not making fun of you, not like judgment
Speaker 1: about that. It's just like, oh, that it is good
Speaker 1: to have food around, because it seems that Andrew might
Speaker 1: be a little bit more anxious when he's hungry. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: Are you super bumped? No, I'm not bummed. I just
Speaker 1: find it just like it's just funny, like what people
Speaker 1: talk about. I just don't even like it's just something
Speaker 1: that I would never even notice on with someone else.
Speaker 1: But no, but like, yeah, no, I get it. It's
Speaker 1: just funny that it's this conversation. Let's get to the news.
Speaker 1: I wonder who else it is? Yours? Now? I heard
Speaker 1: it her second today. Folks, I hope you're having all
Speaker 1: the swells out there. I was, but now I need
Speaker 1: to eat something. Would you rather me not tell you
Speaker 1: a thing that I thought it wasn't a big deal.
Speaker 1: That's why I told you. I don't mean to make
Speaker 1: you feel paranoid. Now. That's the thing. Is like, if
Speaker 1: someone's talking said something about you and notice something, would
Speaker 1: you prefer not to know it. I mean, is it
Speaker 1: almost like YouTube comments? Should I just not say that? No,
Speaker 1: I just feel like there's a way to tell someone
Speaker 1: without a feeling judgment or critical. Sorry, it was just I.
Speaker 1: I do apologize for making it sound critical. I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: like I tried to. I tried. It's not just you.
Speaker 1: I tried to do that with everyone's hunger because when
Speaker 1: I noticed when people get hungry, they don't even notice
Speaker 1: that they're different. I'm super tuned into it because I
Speaker 1: lived that lifestyle for so long that I can pick
Speaker 1: up on the slightest like I can just be like
Speaker 1: I do it to the guy I'm dating all the time,
Speaker 1: I'm like, we have to stop and get something to eat,
Speaker 1: and he's like, I'm not hungry, and I go, you
Speaker 1: commented on the way here that you were hungry. We
Speaker 1: got to the restaurant, you didn't eat anything because you
Speaker 1: didn't like your meal. There's no way you're not hungry
Speaker 1: because you just ate two bites and you were hungry
Speaker 1: before that. So we're going to stop and get something.
Speaker 1: Then he gets annoyed, He's like, I don't need anything.
Speaker 1: Then we finally eat and it's like a different person
Speaker 1: after it, and I'm just like, I can't stand I
Speaker 1: guess what it is though, is like before like you
Speaker 1: started like working on your stuff with the eating stuff,
Speaker 1: like when we first started being friends for the first
Speaker 1: year and a half, you want to eat all day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, and then you'd be irritable and then like
Speaker 1: if I would, I felt like I couldn't even bring
Speaker 1: it up to you without you getting upset with me.
Speaker 1: So that's why, like I think sometimes I just like,
Speaker 1: and we've talked about this before, like it's like if
Speaker 1: I feel like I can't say something to you, but
Speaker 1: then you're just so easily able to say something. I
Speaker 1: felt comfortable saying that because you had previously said seconds
Speaker 1: before I said that, that you don't have an eating
Speaker 1: disorder for sure, for sure, And no, I get that,
Speaker 1: I get that, But I think I'm just telling you,
Speaker 1: like why I think certain things like probably affect us
Speaker 1: with our friendships sometimes and it's not like a big deal.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like, I think that's probably where it
Speaker 1: stems from whenever I might get upset. No, I get it,
Speaker 1: like it it's it's hard to hear that I didn't
Speaker 1: say that in a nice way that like someone had
Speaker 1: noticed that, Like it sounds like we're like talking ship,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't. I presented in a way that sounded
Speaker 1: like we were like gossiping behind your back, and it
Speaker 1: it probably didn't feel good to hear that. And I
Speaker 1: it wasn't gossip. It was just like, oh, it's you're right,
Speaker 1: it's Andrew does like to have snacks backstage, and it
Speaker 1: makes could make them calm down a little bit, just
Speaker 1: like you calm down after you take a you take
Speaker 1: a briso poop one. Your boy's been pooping a little
Speaker 1: less but not much. Okay to the news, I hope
Speaker 1: you're having all the wells. This wasn't a fight really easily.
Speaker 1: And I I instigated that. I I owned up to that.
Speaker 1: That wasn't nice of me, okay. A new survey of
Speaker 1: two thousand Americans age fifty and older found that are
Speaker 1: having better sex or the best sex of their lives
Speaker 1: as they as they've aged. Of those surveyed have sex
Speaker 1: more than five times a week, and one in four
Speaker 1: admit they have sex outside the bedroom, like the laundry
Speaker 1: room or staircase. So yeah, So essentially people are are
Speaker 1: when their kids leave, they start, you know, they just
Speaker 1: fucking probably feel more free to just start screaming and
Speaker 1: put it to the Yes, fifty and older. I just
Speaker 1: don't believe this. Did they just go to like a
Speaker 1: Sandals resort in Forever a swinger's weekend as Sandals, remember, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that's that's the place I was looking for. I mean,
Speaker 1: I hope this is true, but I feel like most
Speaker 1: people that get older like kind of lose theirs. I think, well,
Speaker 1: five times a week seems like a lot. What else
Speaker 1: are they doing if they're getting there four oh one,
Speaker 1: they're just sucking all day. The Villages is a place
Speaker 1: in Florida. Okay, have you heard of that? There are
Speaker 1: a lot of places and that are a lot of places. No,
Speaker 1: but the Villages is known. It's like this huge community
Speaker 1: of like people that are sixty and older and all
Speaker 1: they do is drink bud Light and the number one
Speaker 1: bud Light sales and the number one STDs or number
Speaker 1: one Herpes sales is in the Villages because all they
Speaker 1: do is drink beer. And I'll funk each other. No,
Speaker 1: what else did this say? And what what what? I
Speaker 1: can't I just don't believe that what I wanted to add,
Speaker 1: the scientists who conducted the survey said the changes that
Speaker 1: come with aging make women and men communicate more, get
Speaker 1: more creative, have more time to explore, which leads them
Speaker 1: to getting the right type of satisfaction. That's a good point.
Speaker 1: I do find that as you get older and you
Speaker 1: can just know what you want and uh, you can
Speaker 1: just have better sex and you can have that's just
Speaker 1: the best part about being in a relationship as being
Speaker 1: able as a young person being in a relationship because
Speaker 1: I don't know what it's like to be much older,
Speaker 1: But I feel like if I would probably be more
Speaker 1: prone to have casual sex as I get older because
Speaker 1: I just I care less about what people think. I'm
Speaker 1: not worried about my body as much. I just accept
Speaker 1: myself more. So I would probably have more of it
Speaker 1: than I had as a young person, because as young person,
Speaker 1: I'm so scared I'm gonna be bad at it. I
Speaker 1: don't even know what I like. Um there, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to be able to tell them that I don't
Speaker 1: like that thing that they're doing, and and so then
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna end up doing it, and then I'm
Speaker 1: gonna feel bad because I just let this guy do
Speaker 1: this thing to me, and I didn't you know, like
Speaker 1: all these things, So that makes sense to me. Actually
Speaker 1: you're having like you know, you start off you have
Speaker 1: sex in the dark. It reminds me of like when
Speaker 1: I'm in the locker room at a gym and there's
Speaker 1: an old man and frinkly penis is like perfect technalogy
Speaker 1: two inches away from my face and he's so comfortable.
Speaker 1: So I'm sure he's probably pretty cool with his So
Speaker 1: any time time to do things over and over, you
Speaker 1: get more comfortable with it. At that point, he probably
Speaker 1: started out as a young kid like hiding his penis,
Speaker 1: and then he eventually ends up just blow drying his
Speaker 1: balls with my hair with the with the round brush. Um,
Speaker 1: they're so saggy he can get like a nice like
Speaker 1: he can curl them like a Jennifer and aston like hairstyle.
Speaker 1: Wait a second, so that this totally now makes sense.
Speaker 1: It's like you get more comfortable because I feel like
Speaker 1: there's something sad about that though, because and I'm finding
Speaker 1: this in my own life, like the more comfortable I
Speaker 1: get with sex and the more open I am to
Speaker 1: like having weirder sexual experiences or like doing kind of
Speaker 1: stranger things. Um that might uh that in the past,
Speaker 1: I would have been so scared to do oh judgmental
Speaker 1: of But now that I'm getting older, I'm getting closer
Speaker 1: to being married, which then locks me down to one person.
Speaker 1: So there's kind of an irony there of like I'm
Speaker 1: finally ready to spread my labia wings red bull, and
Speaker 1: now I have to shut it down because I'm getting
Speaker 1: closer to wanting to settle down. Well what's interesting then,
Speaker 1: But then like the idea of fucking at first is
Speaker 1: like there's still a party that's like sucking for reproduction,
Speaker 1: for having babies for like, like there's a reason why
Speaker 1: get rid of that. Then it's just for fucking. Then
Speaker 1: it's just for fun, it's all sport. But but also
Speaker 1: I plan on being married by that, Like I plan
Speaker 1: on being in a committed relationship by the time I'm
Speaker 1: in my fifties, and so that is going to limit
Speaker 1: me to one partner. But maybe we might be swingers
Speaker 1: or if ig on it wing, that's true. I think
Speaker 1: you already own it. Yeah I do. I used to
Speaker 1: know swing. I don't know what happened to it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I really think you donated it. Yeah I did. No
Speaker 1: it was um. I used to say that that sex
Speaker 1: wing looked like the way they fed the cows to
Speaker 1: the velociraptors or to the t rex. You know. I
Speaker 1: was like, mo, and it's like being lowered and that
Speaker 1: thing it's the same device. Wait a second, I do
Speaker 1: find this kind of I'm learning this kind of blues
Speaker 1: my mind because I do find that, for the first
Speaker 1: time ever, I am like really not scared about sex
Speaker 1: stuff and like, oh, I could go scope make like
Speaker 1: I used to be just so terrified of like holding
Speaker 1: hands with a boy, kissing a new guy, and now
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, it's not that hard to do. And
Speaker 1: now I'm like getting closer to like locking it down.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, now and finally free and I gotta
Speaker 1: lock it down, finally free sexually and you but then
Speaker 1: you're free sexually because but but I want to have
Speaker 1: sexual experiences that with a lot of people and like
Speaker 1: different things, and like, you know, I want to experience
Speaker 1: like all my number is in the teens, right, but
Speaker 1: it's all those A lot of those times I don't
Speaker 1: remember because I was drunk and so they don't even count.
Speaker 1: So really, if we're talking about sexual experiences, people I've
Speaker 1: had sex with that, I remember having sex with We're
Speaker 1: below ten for sure, and that's not like a sexually
Speaker 1: fulfilling life. I don't know. I board. I want to
Speaker 1: see you right out like a teacher I have I
Speaker 1: have written out like everyone like minus for due to
Speaker 1: being hammered minus three doing. Let me think about your
Speaker 1: own self, like thinking about the number, like the times
Speaker 1: you remember versus the times you do remember. But that
Speaker 1: is why I think I am ready for ready for
Speaker 1: really in a relationship that I love, because when I
Speaker 1: did get sober the last three years, I did have
Speaker 1: more sex than I usually have had. And I've been
Speaker 1: and I was sober, so I'm like, okay, I remember
Speaker 1: those those were fun. I got that out of my system.
Speaker 1: You haven't done that doesn't feel like a need, Like
Speaker 1: I don't feel that, like that primal need. I think
Speaker 1: that I could find someone that is into like swinging
Speaker 1: or whatever, but then I always feel like, yeah, there's
Speaker 1: such a I just think it's cool. That's cool to
Speaker 1: talk about. But I think and for me, like for me,
Speaker 1: it would be like okay, yeah we could both different people.
Speaker 1: That would be cool, Like I like, even in my mind,
Speaker 1: I'm like that could be cool, you know together though,
Speaker 1: But even that, I just feel like it's like the
Speaker 1: what's that movie with Richard not Richard Geared the million
Speaker 1: dollar proposal or whatever decent proposal. Yeah, so something like
Speaker 1: that where he gave his gave him a million dollars
Speaker 1: that sex with his wife. Yeah, it's cool. No, it
Speaker 1: was the other way around. The guy gave him a
Speaker 1: million dollars to have sex with this. Yeah, here, here's
Speaker 1: a million dollars. Please. Fun that's so funny to do
Speaker 1: a remake, it's so funny. What would you not what
Speaker 1: would do a million dollars? What would you do if
Speaker 1: I gave could you my wife and get a million dollars? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I could do that? And the guy's like, no, I
Speaker 1: want I don't want to suck your wife firm? But
Speaker 1: I said that wrong. Well you already said it. Sorry,
Speaker 1: goddamn it, my dear, my hand is oak or whatever.
Speaker 1: They say, Uh yeah, so what's the problem with that? No? No,
Speaker 1: Like so like the idea of it, like, oh, we
Speaker 1: got a million dollars, now I could we could buy
Speaker 1: a house, we could take our kids to college. But
Speaker 1: you've you fucked Robert Redford and I'll never I'll never
Speaker 1: be able to not only that Robert Redford her good.
Speaker 1: Oh that's the problem. But the thing is, like he
Speaker 1: know they The thing is they had an intimate, they
Speaker 1: went up, they spent time together like they go on
Speaker 1: a helicopter. Yeah, like he wooed her. It wasn't just
Speaker 1: about the sex. A woman can have good sex and
Speaker 1: not go I need to be with that person if
Speaker 1: it's just sex, if it's just like you know, with
Speaker 1: but then he goes back to your whole thing. Though, like,
Speaker 1: once you get sex into va giant, you're connected no
Speaker 1: matter what. I don't think that If it's just sex
Speaker 1: in your vagina and it's just happening without you, like
Speaker 1: talking to that person, getting to know that, then it
Speaker 1: can exist in that bubble of like that fun bubble.
Speaker 1: But how often is a woman letting a guy in
Speaker 1: her vagina and she doesn't even know it? I mean,
Speaker 1: that's not happening that almost every night in college. Well
Speaker 1: yeah that's happening. But I'm talking about you know, if
Speaker 1: I'm letting a guy in my vagina, I've probably known
Speaker 1: him very well at this point, and so that's going
Speaker 1: to be getting your vagina you either have to marry
Speaker 1: you or make a deal with my boyfriend and wear
Speaker 1: a mask. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I only told you
Speaker 1: about the mask thing. But I'm glad you listen. I
Speaker 1: I screwed you before with bringing up the a figment
Speaker 1: of speech or whatever. Yeah. I did tell Andrew that
Speaker 1: I was down for a gang bang, but I would
Speaker 1: have to wear a mask. Yes, and no, I wasn't
Speaker 1: even talking about that. I really was. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: want anyone to know if I ever do a gang
Speaker 1: bang that it's Nicky Glazer. I don't want them to
Speaker 1: be able to say that, even though I've come out
Speaker 1: and said that I will be participating in these, I
Speaker 1: don't want them to be able to say that, Well,
Speaker 1: now the cats out of the bag that you're wearing
Speaker 1: on your head, Well, they won't know. They won't know.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get to another news story. Your feet, though,
Speaker 1: that's the I really didn't think that last night when
Speaker 1: I was talking about I'm not even joking you. I
Speaker 1: was like, I will have to because sometimes I want
Speaker 1: to film it, you know, put it out there. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I don't have any tattoos, but my
Speaker 1: feet are real giveaways. You just have a mask in
Speaker 1: socks on sh okay a twenty four year old man,
Speaker 1: or like those like just like those dinosaur like slippers
Speaker 1: that are like fake feet, like hulk feet. Maybe put
Speaker 1: those on my feet. That's rich because I feel like
Speaker 1: even you got to cover the wart scar Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: my knee, I'll patch that up to god. Damn it,
Speaker 1: I have too many things. You're just gonna be a whole,
Speaker 1: that's all I want to make. Glory hole will be
Speaker 1: like Okay, I know that nicky wall. Yeah, I know
Speaker 1: there's the Taylor Swift poster on there that you overpaid for. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my asshole is ringed with the Taylor Swift lyrics. There's
Speaker 1: a line around it that says, uh, yeah tis the
Speaker 1: damn season around the ring of ever wre okay, barely scarf?
Speaker 1: Is that in the dresser? Twenty four year old man
Speaker 1: found love and a new kidney through Tinder. It's pretty crazy,
Speaker 1: so to a gay guy. I found a guy on Tinder,
Speaker 1: ended up having a great connection with him, and then
Speaker 1: told him that he would need a kidney, and the
Speaker 1: guy gave him his kidneys. They were so in love
Speaker 1: and so committed to each other. How long did this
Speaker 1: take like quick quick. The guy that's limorans baby, oh
Speaker 1: you think he gave him the kidney during like the
Speaker 1: fun point, and then he's like, yeah, this is the
Speaker 1: this is the honeymoon stage. This is how you get
Speaker 1: a kidney. If you get in that beginning, don't wait
Speaker 1: until they've fallen out of love with you. Don't ask
Speaker 1: for a kidney down the line. You get in the
Speaker 1: beginning of that time where your machine gun king married
Speaker 1: though fox, Oh they did, they are married. You want
Speaker 1: to get into vagina, you gotta give me that kidney.
Speaker 1: That's so sweet. I would love to give someone my kidney.
Speaker 1: I think that is a beautiful thing. Does that for
Speaker 1: a loved one? I really, I don't know what that
Speaker 1: says about me that I'm dying to give someone my kidney,
Speaker 1: but um, I would like to do that for someone
Speaker 1: in my life. Yeah, I would love to get be weird.
Speaker 1: If you asked for a kidney, I was like, I
Speaker 1: when can we get in? You just want to kill
Speaker 1: me from the inside too. I start just like, what
Speaker 1: do you do to get kidney damage? Whatever? And that
Speaker 1: is I do that? Well. I think there should be
Speaker 1: like an app for um owner owners people wanting to
Speaker 1: give up their organs. I think that's so weirdly like
Speaker 1: illegal or something. I don't know, like you put up
Speaker 1: your blood or you put up like what you are. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're you're like I would like to give you my
Speaker 1: right ear. Yeah, you're you're gonna van go. I think
Speaker 1: you should send your ear to Brenna in the mail
Speaker 1: like van go. Like, Babe, I got rid of it.
Speaker 1: I'm no longer cancerous, but I do have a little
Speaker 1: hole on the side of my head. She's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll give you my kidney grosser than just like a
Speaker 1: hole on the side of your head where an ear
Speaker 1: used to be, Like that growls me off, or when
Speaker 1: people lose their nose and it's just like a whole
Speaker 1: Like I don't know why that bothers me so much. Well,
Speaker 1: it's just tripped tri pophobia. Have you ever heard of that? No,
Speaker 1: it's as when you're afraid of turkey. No, it's when
Speaker 1: you're maybe tripp to fan andto phobia. Um. No, it's
Speaker 1: when triple fanto phobia is when you trip over a
Speaker 1: fan board and you're scared of I don't want that. Actually,
Speaker 1: I actually get I have that fear at mut and
Speaker 1: greets that people trip over the cord that are the
Speaker 1: lights and memory time they walk up, I go to
Speaker 1: do with it. Like the whole time, I'm just like
Speaker 1: nervous about people fan or whatever. It's like t r
Speaker 1: y p f O B. I think it's triple phobia,
Speaker 1: but it's um My mom has it big time, and
Speaker 1: my sister kind of has it. It's when you're scared
Speaker 1: of a lot of little holes all clustered together and
Speaker 1: it makes your skin crawls. Um, Swiss cheese can cause tripophobia,
Speaker 1: but oftentimes it's like the holes have to be like
Speaker 1: close together, and it's just like can give you It's
Speaker 1: on Reddit, so is it like a little thin line
Speaker 1: between each hole, like it almost looks like rotting carts.
Speaker 1: But it's just like I have it too. But my
Speaker 1: mom really has it, like she can't even look at
Speaker 1: Like my tie used to have bolted feathers, and the
Speaker 1: feathers you could see them like coming out of its
Speaker 1: hair almost. They were like these tubes that like before
Speaker 1: the feather would like turn into a feather, it would
Speaker 1: be like the tubes that would be all close together.
Speaker 1: And my sister and I would be like it's it's
Speaker 1: doing the thing again, and it was it was trypophobia.
Speaker 1: When your mom comes over, you should put curlers in
Speaker 1: and see what happens. Um you know what I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: Like when the legaments rip and there's like one like
Speaker 1: it's just barely holding on and it's just the one fiber,
Speaker 1: like like when there's something like ripping on your jeans
Speaker 1: have like a hole in it and it's just like
Speaker 1: one little sing and I'm just like or when a
Speaker 1: man has a ponytail and it's just a little like
Speaker 1: a braid and it's just braided down and then they
Speaker 1: turn do they do the rubber band around the tiniest
Speaker 1: like it's like three hairs that have a rubber band
Speaker 1: around it. I want to I want to die. I
Speaker 1: seriously feel like my skin is melting off my face
Speaker 1: when I see like a Willie Nelson little braid that's
Speaker 1: like like, oh, I actually had a dream of the
Speaker 1: Southern Night where my hair was in a bunch of
Speaker 1: little like Julio doesn't bother me. Those are like thicker
Speaker 1: pieces of hair. But okay, we gotta go to break
Speaker 1: and we'll come back with why do I care? Why
Speaker 1: do I care? I don't even know anymore? Why do
Speaker 1: I care? Ninety year old actor William Shatner, whoa yeah,
Speaker 1: and his last name is Shatner, which is hilariously. He's
Speaker 1: going to space, that is funny. Yeah, with Jeff Bezos
Speaker 1: Blue Origin. Next week he's going up to William Shatner's
Speaker 1: ninety Jesus Christ. I mean Star Trek just was you know?
Speaker 1: I never watched it? Did you ever watch not a
Speaker 1: single not even a second? I mean literally not a second. No,
Speaker 1: were you ever into any of that stuff? No? I
Speaker 1: never watched it. I hear it's great though, But yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I heard that like and like shows like
Speaker 1: Babylon five and um, I just hear him and I
Speaker 1: get angry. I don't know why. I don't know why.
Speaker 1: I've never been I hate like the future, like get
Speaker 1: out of here? Well, because you it's the only time
Speaker 1: you can get a doctor's appointment. It's on a space station.
Speaker 1: Any Um. Okay, he's going to space with Elon Musk
Speaker 1: Jeff Bezos, rich guy. Yeah, Elon Musk has fake hair.
Speaker 1: Bezos went bald. Um. That's interesting that Bezos did it
Speaker 1: get a wig because it was too late. You can't
Speaker 1: wait that long you can. I mean Brian or Lacker did.
Speaker 1: But but and he, like Brian or Lacker did, got
Speaker 1: a wig or transplant and like went from bald to
Speaker 1: that and was like, yeah, I just got it. But
Speaker 1: everyone thought different can't do like men can't do that,
Speaker 1: Like I don't mind a bald guy being like, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna get a wig and just do it. Our
Speaker 1: friend Robbie College or dead I love and he put
Speaker 1: it on Instagram. He's like, listen, I have a hairpiece.
Speaker 1: This is my new life. And it's like, good for you.
Speaker 1: When I wear fake eyelashes, I'm not like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: someone knows that I have fake or like hair extensions
Speaker 1: and you gotta address it. Like what he did. He
Speaker 1: made a post he said, hey, I got it, but
Speaker 1: but I still don't think that men people don't like
Speaker 1: to be tricked. That's what it is. No, it's not
Speaker 1: that people make five men who go from bald when
Speaker 1: women can do women can go get spray tans, they
Speaker 1: can do all these things, but men are not allowed
Speaker 1: to make an egregious change in their looks without it
Speaker 1: being like like sad or something. We knew he was
Speaker 1: bald and now you're allowed have hair, you had hair before.
Speaker 1: Why can't you go back to hair if it's fake,
Speaker 1: because then it admits that you're insecure about your baldness,
Speaker 1: and that's such a pussy move, really, or or you
Speaker 1: just are bald and miserable. There's also a difference between
Speaker 1: a guy that and you don't. La was bald by
Speaker 1: choice and all the funny. He's like, I just want
Speaker 1: to grow it up. Yeah, it's like the Seinfeld thing
Speaker 1: when she's like, grow your hair out. You have this
Speaker 1: hair and he grew out. Oh, I love that, and
Speaker 1: he goes, She goes, you're bald, and he goes, I was.
Speaker 1: That's a different one. I'm talking about the one where
Speaker 1: she saw his driver's license and saw that he had
Speaker 1: a fool had a great hair, and he had a
Speaker 1: shaved head. And she's like, you can grow your hair out.
Speaker 1: And then he grew it out and he's he was bald,
Speaker 1: he was thinning. It wasn't the same. I don't remember
Speaker 1: that one anyway. So he's going to space, he's going
Speaker 1: on that thing. It's going to sixty six miles in
Speaker 1: the air and then coming right back down in a parachute,
Speaker 1: and I gotta tell you. If you're on star track
Speaker 1: and you're going warped speed, keep saying start track. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's trek tracks. So did you just find out to
Speaker 1: start track and not track? So more to the story. Um,
Speaker 1: people always say that you say star trek rock. Who's
Speaker 1: all this just kidding? I know he's paying it. I
Speaker 1: was playing, I was playing. I think this is like
Speaker 1: your get up today makes me think that you can
Speaker 1: take and I can. But this look makes you seem
Speaker 1: like you're jook, right. Yeah, I know you walked in
Speaker 1: here dying for me to say something about it. And
Speaker 1: I tried to see wearing for audio listeners. He's wearing
Speaker 1: a jean jacket with a shirt with a shirt underneath.
Speaker 1: He's wearing sunglasses and a backwards white cap. And my
Speaker 1: beard is thick these days. Oh, I forgot that because
Speaker 1: i'm beard's jacket. It's it's a fall, that's what. Is
Speaker 1: that a new jacket or something? No, it's it's an
Speaker 1: old new jacket. I guess. Um, your dad wears a
Speaker 1: Jeane jacket a lot. He actually rocks it in a
Speaker 1: manly way, which makes me happy. I'm glad that my
Speaker 1: dad inspired some of your fashion let's move on. I
Speaker 1: really don't care about old men in space at all.
Speaker 1: Let's get on to top one, bottom one. It's our
Speaker 1: Monday topic. Top one, bottom one. What's our topic, Noah,
Speaker 1: Today we're talking about top one, bottom one. Shoes shook. Now,
Speaker 1: this might be shoes that you wear, shoes that you
Speaker 1: notice other people wearing, but this is just h least
Speaker 1: favorite kind of shoe, most favorite kind of shoe. Um,
Speaker 1: do you want to start us off? Um, Andrew, I
Speaker 1: guess least favorite shoe for me is uh Oh, that's tough.
Speaker 1: I go through a lot of phases, as you know,
Speaker 1: so any phase that has ended up being the shortest phase,
Speaker 1: it's probably the So you're going with shoes that you've wore,
Speaker 1: not like women's shoes that you've noticed that you don't
Speaker 1: like that. I mean, you could do whatever you whe
Speaker 1: I'm just wondering which lane your I thought we were going, Like,
Speaker 1: you came up with shoes and I just go shoes
Speaker 1: sounds good shoes in general, But anything I bought recently
Speaker 1: I bought. I'd be shocked if one of us doesn't
Speaker 1: say the shoes that have like the little toes highlighted,
Speaker 1: you know, the rubber shoes kind of like those I
Speaker 1: tried them on before. I like liking them because I
Speaker 1: think it's so hacked to hate them. Yes, okay, Um,
Speaker 1: I bought boots. I bought Timberland boots recently because I
Speaker 1: was watching a lot of country music. I was watching
Speaker 1: a lot of Morgan Wall and a lot of Poor
Speaker 1: me Um and uh, I was like, well, I'll just
Speaker 1: be the relatable guy with his boots on stage with
Speaker 1: my Yeah, he came out, We're walking these boots waiting
Speaker 1: for me to say something, and you're like, are you
Speaker 1: going hiking? And you're like, I was autistic about it.
Speaker 1: I'm jaded. Have you watched the New Love on the Spectrum.
Speaker 1: There's this new guy named Jaden, and let me just you're, well,
Speaker 1: Jaden is an interesting guy because he is the type
Speaker 1: of autistic that's like he's kind of like the way
Speaker 1: that I was saying that that one girl was where
Speaker 1: she was like, I don't she doesn't understand why people
Speaker 1: do things just out of like being polite. She's like
Speaker 1: like almost before when I go oh, I said the
Speaker 1: thing about oh, someone noticed Also I'm like, well that's
Speaker 1: a fact that proves my point. Why wouldn't I share
Speaker 1: that fact? And people go because it's rude to tell
Speaker 1: someone that they've been talked about behind their back. That
Speaker 1: makes people uncomfortable, and I'd go, well it should well
Speaker 1: would you rather not know? It's a thing that happened,
Speaker 1: and it supported my thesis, So that was kind of
Speaker 1: autistic of me being like, why are you offended? It
Speaker 1: shouldn't offend you. It's a fact. And Jaden is like
Speaker 1: that he um. He had this really interesting thing where
Speaker 1: he says that he doesn't understand, like societal norms are
Speaker 1: like no, you know, he's talking to this girl about
Speaker 1: going on a date and she goes, well, you know
Speaker 1: you um, when you sit down, you could offer her
Speaker 1: water And he goes, is there water on the table
Speaker 1: with a glass? And she's like yeah, probably, And he's like, well,
Speaker 1: why wouldn't she pour it herself? Like if she does,
Speaker 1: she is her arm working. She's like probably, but like
Speaker 1: it's just a nice thing to do, and he's like, okay,
Speaker 1: it's a nice thing to do it Like I'll remember that,
Speaker 1: but like he has to, like he has to. He
Speaker 1: doesn't know that it's a nice thing to do. He
Speaker 1: doesn't understand why that's a nice thing to do, because
Speaker 1: he goes, doesn't that take away her autonomy as a
Speaker 1: person that could do it herself. So and he he
Speaker 1: had a really interesting example. He goes, I don't use
Speaker 1: I don't do anything that doesn't serve a purpose, and
Speaker 1: like has a reason for it. He said, I shake hands.
Speaker 1: I shake hands not because you're supposed to shake hands,
Speaker 1: but because there is a reason you shake hands. When
Speaker 1: you would shake with your right hand, your right hand
Speaker 1: would always have your hand on your sword back in
Speaker 1: the day, so if you shook with your right hand,
Speaker 1: you were disarmed. So it was a fat, friendly greeting
Speaker 1: that said I don't I'm not gonna hurt you. Hello.
Speaker 1: It's a way to tell someone I'm your friend, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna hurt you. A shaking hand without a reason
Speaker 1: behind it doesn't make any sense, just shaking hands. Why
Speaker 1: would that mean I'm not gonna hurt you if it
Speaker 1: doesn't attach to the meaning to the sword. And so
Speaker 1: that's why he shakes hands is because, oh there's this
Speaker 1: meaning attached to it. And I think that for your boots,
Speaker 1: I felt the same way of like, why would you
Speaker 1: have hiking boots if you shan't hike and shan't I
Speaker 1: use that wrong, but I wanted to speak in jan Look,
Speaker 1: I shan't didn't have bottom for sure. Um, I shan't
Speaker 1: help it. I'm gonna will. But yeah, so I bought
Speaker 1: these boots and I haven't worn him once, and I
Speaker 1: I honestly might never. Wait, why was it because I
Speaker 1: said that? No, No, I just really anything. It just
Speaker 1: doesn't really make sense to wear hiking boots just to
Speaker 1: hike myself on stage. For dude, I said this to you,
Speaker 1: and you got really defensive. But you said they looked cool,
Speaker 1: and I go, okay, well, then there's well I thought
Speaker 1: they were enough of a regular boot to counteract the hike,
Speaker 1: but I've since realized they're too hike. They're too hikey.
Speaker 1: Why didn't you just buy the same boot that Walen has.
Speaker 1: I couldn't. He has cowboy boots, which I couldn't go
Speaker 1: full cowboy boots, gotcha? Okay, so those are your least
Speaker 1: favorite boots? Yeah, anything that you buy and you've never
Speaker 1: worn once because you automatically regret it. Okay, Noah, least
Speaker 1: favorite shoe. I think the clog has to do it
Speaker 1: for me as a least favorite shoe, Yeah, like with
Speaker 1: with a wooden bottom. It just I feel like a
Speaker 1: robot when I walk in them. And one time, um,
Speaker 1: the bottom of a clog like cut my ankle because
Speaker 1: the shoe is so like rigid that I bumped it
Speaker 1: into my ankle and I have like a deep cut
Speaker 1: and I just can't get over it. Wait, you wore
Speaker 1: clogs like when I was a kid? Yeah, okay, but
Speaker 1: clocks are so comfy, like birkenstock. Clogs are like the
Speaker 1: Swedish clogs straight up wooden clogs. Yeah, why were you
Speaker 1: wearing wooden clogs though? I'm just even as a kid.
Speaker 1: Maybe it was fashionable. They were in style like in
Speaker 1: the nineties and I got a pair of clogs. Okay,
Speaker 1: that makes sense. Um, I'm gonna go with my least
Speaker 1: favorite shoe is any one that has a pointy toe,
Speaker 1: because every fucking shoe has a point he got damn toe.
Speaker 1: But the ones that are really really pointed, and the ones,
Speaker 1: especially a strappy sandal that the last strap on the
Speaker 1: toe box right, the last strap is like two inches long?
Speaker 1: Who the fox foot? Your foot is supposed to be?
Speaker 1: Can we glue look at the history of like truly
Speaker 1: is trying to make you have smaller feet, so you're
Speaker 1: like a smaller I don't know that it turns you
Speaker 1: into a bird, a bird claw. It's like it's like
Speaker 1: bound feet in ancient China. Like it's getting back to
Speaker 1: that of like women need to be disabled almost so
Speaker 1: I don't know, but women love having like a pointy toe.
Speaker 1: My feet are pointed in uh they are. They are
Speaker 1: in the shape of a shoe, and it bothers me
Speaker 1: and so I blame like, you know, my severe foot
Speaker 1: paint on these damn point shoes STI let us. But
Speaker 1: really it's any shoe that um, especially a very high
Speaker 1: heels also my least favorite to them. Let me just
Speaker 1: go grab it. I mean it's uh, guys, I was
Speaker 1: buying sneakers recently. You get a wide sneaker, like that's
Speaker 1: what they offer. A wide shoe. No one, No one
Speaker 1: gives a ship. I'm gonna get wide. My feet are
Speaker 1: gonna get too wide. Yeah, it's wilds These shoes can
Speaker 1: suck my dick. Really these Yeah, that's insane. Basically when
Speaker 1: you're having Yeah, it's like probably at one two it's
Speaker 1: probably a four inch here bax to Letto can I
Speaker 1: try it on? Please? These will think you too. I
Speaker 1: just want to see what it feels like to be
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is so satisfying. Mind you gave
Speaker 1: me a foot rub this weekend. No, and it was.
Speaker 1: I offered him a hundred dollars to it. It was
Speaker 1: so good. Yeah, I'm not getting you. See that your
Speaker 1: boy's got skills. This is ridiculous them both okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I mean, dude, stand stand with all because all your
Speaker 1: week goes to your foot, so it shoves it even
Speaker 1: further down. Now, walk a little, a couple of steps. Oh,
Speaker 1: you looks so pretty. I mean they do look like
Speaker 1: if you had sorts on, you would see how fucking
Speaker 1: good they make care legs look. Yeah, like, look, let's
Speaker 1: look at you. Oh my god, this is hilarious. Hold on,
Speaker 1: come over here, I want to see what they Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I mean they look so good, Andrew, hold on,
Speaker 1: my pinky toe is already hurting me. I mean that
Speaker 1: looks so good. I gotta be honest, my pinky toe
Speaker 1: is robbing. Been wearing them for less than thirty seconds, dude, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're awful. And then so a high this shoe because
Speaker 1: it doesn't look cute with a toe box that's just
Speaker 1: like square, they don't look as cute. No, I don't agree.
Speaker 1: But you can have a point, right, So let's make
Speaker 1: this wider and you can still have a point, but
Speaker 1: it has nothing to do because then the point is
Speaker 1: going to come out. So if you make it wide
Speaker 1: so that your whole foot fits in, and then you
Speaker 1: point it so that there's nothing in the point, then
Speaker 1: you then you just have like a really then you're
Speaker 1: gonna look like you're wearing size fifteen shoes and it's
Speaker 1: going to look shack or it's gonna be too wide
Speaker 1: with a short point, which will look here, and your
Speaker 1: foot will sled into that point unless there's like something
Speaker 1: stopping it, in which case your foot will just slam
Speaker 1: into it. Because when you're in a heel, you're it's
Speaker 1: like your foot's going down a slide and gravity is
Speaker 1: sending your whole body towards the football. It's it's awful.
Speaker 1: One night of those shoes would make your foot have
Speaker 1: Bunyan's one night. It doesn't take like you know years.
Speaker 1: It was one one time I wore shoes like that
Speaker 1: and I got bunyans. I love it. Today, like put
Speaker 1: this thing in there, like, oh yeah, your feet will
Speaker 1: just pads. Can some girls send me a foot sprite
Speaker 1: to numb my feet before I wear them on stage?
Speaker 1: Just numb your foot and I go this, thank you
Speaker 1: for this. And I know a lot of women do that,
Speaker 1: but I don't want to numb. When you numb it,
Speaker 1: the pain is still taking place, the disfigurement. It's not
Speaker 1: even a band. I'm not gonna lie like, wait, do
Speaker 1: you see the pictures? Your feet look awesome? Final thought?
Speaker 1: Favorite shoes, Um, favorite shoes I would have to say,
Speaker 1: are either these guys or the air Cortez, which I
Speaker 1: copy child. Those guys are what night e Nike air Cortez.
Speaker 1: They're just very comfortable. I don't know. I like them.
Speaker 1: They're clean and then when they get dirty. I like
Speaker 1: a shoe that even if it gets dirty, it still
Speaker 1: looks cool. Okay, oh yeah, those one shoes with the
Speaker 1: stars on them that everyone was buying for like six
Speaker 1: hundred dollars a couple of years ago, that come dirty.
Speaker 1: You're talking about wild There's literally Jim at Sacks and
Speaker 1: they were like six hundred dollars and they looked they
Speaker 1: looked like they were found in a dumpster. There's maybe
Speaker 1: four companies that sell a white sneaker, Like, there's just
Speaker 1: I have a great idea of Mom, I want you
Speaker 1: to invest six grand into my company because I want
Speaker 1: to make like a white sneaker. That's I don't understand
Speaker 1: what motivates people to make products that already exist. Like
Speaker 1: when people go I have a new CBD line, I'm like,
Speaker 1: what do you think you're bringing to the CBD market that,
Speaker 1: besides the label in a different name that isn't already
Speaker 1: I just don't get it. It's people's entrepreneurial spirit is
Speaker 1: really for things that already exist. Blows my mind. The
Speaker 1: and maybe it works. I don't know my favorite, Oh no,
Speaker 1: what's your favorite? Chio Actually, I just bought the most
Speaker 1: expensive pair of sneakers I've ever bought in my life
Speaker 1: from Brooks and it was good. I actually and I
Speaker 1: went to an actual shoe store where the saleswoman understood, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, arches and all that stuff, and I and
Speaker 1: I bought this brook sneaker the books Aerial, which I
Speaker 1: didn't I thought Birks was like an old people's line,
Speaker 1: but it's I I love it. I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: walking on a cloud. Um yeah, I mean I think
Speaker 1: that's this is totally an old person's podcast because we're
Speaker 1: listening shoes that are like I literally bought new balances
Speaker 1: earlier this morning, new balances. I did you steal mine? No,
Speaker 1: I got it from Jack Carlo. Oh who's Jack Carlo?
Speaker 1: He's the White rapper. Oh yeah you did. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just bought some new new balances that are so comfy.
Speaker 1: But I'm on my I've actually I had severe put
Speaker 1: foot paint this uh this weekend, and um, on the plane,
Speaker 1: my foot would swell from all the damage from wearing
Speaker 1: not all my boots now are very uh you know,
Speaker 1: uh one and a half inches nothing, you know, or
Speaker 1: or one inch not all these boots I'm wearing on
Speaker 1: stage now, much more comfortab little than what I was doing,
Speaker 1: but still extreme pain from just being on my feet
Speaker 1: all night and then um and my and then I
Speaker 1: would wear these new balances and they would start throbbing
Speaker 1: the next day in these comfortable shoes. I had to
Speaker 1: kick them off on the plane last night because they
Speaker 1: would swell. I mean, I am carving out a part
Speaker 1: of my day today to go get a foot rub
Speaker 1: or I truly need one from you again. I'm not joking.
Speaker 1: You was the best thing I've it's it's it feels wrong.
Speaker 1: Can you give me a foot rub once in a
Speaker 1: while like that? Yeah? I can't just stop talking about
Speaker 1: my eating behind your back. It's hard to wear your
Speaker 1: back starts and begins. J K, you're perfect. Um, you
Speaker 1: did puff out your stomach this weekend. It was so
Speaker 1: funny you stood on top of it. It was like
Speaker 1: you mount your favorite My favorite shoe is definitely the
Speaker 1: Ultra a L t R A Ultra. It's um, it's
Speaker 1: for women with like Bunyan feet and it's has wide
Speaker 1: toebox and it's not even for women just with Bunyon feet,
Speaker 1: but it's like it's a running shoe that's four runners
Speaker 1: and it has a wide toebox. You will not because
Speaker 1: Nike shoes also have the point going on. Ask your questions.
Speaker 1: I can't bind regular running shoes because you wore your outfit,
Speaker 1: your hot outfit right this weekend and one night where
Speaker 1: your new balances on stage. Just try it and this
Speaker 1: the shoes are a part of the outfit, dude, Like
Speaker 1: it just is like but you like going against the grain.
Speaker 1: You said you like, uh, those toe shoes. Because everyone
Speaker 1: I'm saying I like saying I like them. I don't
Speaker 1: actually like them. I like enough fit to look good.
Speaker 1: That's the problem is these shoes look good, you know,
Speaker 1: pointed toe shoes. There's a reason they. We have been
Speaker 1: conditioned to think that women with tiny, pointy feet are hot.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but it just you know,
Speaker 1: women used, we never used to care about women being hairless,
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden it became the norm.
Speaker 1: And now women with hair it's like it's hair on
Speaker 1: your legs. It's like a masculine thing, when in nor
Speaker 1: it didn't used to be that way. It's like, I'm
Speaker 1: just conditioned by society to think that she was like
Speaker 1: that look cute. Passion is so weird. I don't understand it.
Speaker 1: I'm just starting to like kind of get a good
Speaker 1: grasp on it. But sometimes I'm like, why does that
Speaker 1: look good? Tucked in? And that doesn't? Like? Why that belt?
Speaker 1: And not? Like sometimes I feel so confused of why
Speaker 1: something works and something doesn't. And I've learned from my
Speaker 1: stylist enough to like, well, you don't that's a little
Speaker 1: matchy matchy they say a lot, like you would think
Speaker 1: that matching. Yeah, like you can't match too much. Like
Speaker 1: sometimes I'll wear like a black skirt with um like
Speaker 1: a like I'll have white boots on, but you don't
Speaker 1: want to put on another thing. That's like you either
Speaker 1: want to do all white or you want to do
Speaker 1: white boot boots and then like not another white piece
Speaker 1: because it will be matchy matchy. Um, Like a black
Speaker 1: skirt and a white top with white boots too matchy matchy.
Speaker 1: But if you do white boots with black and then
Speaker 1: another color shirt, that is not matchy matchy, but you
Speaker 1: can It's like it's but but if you do a
Speaker 1: white boot, but if you do a white long boot
Speaker 1: that goes up to you like a knee high that
Speaker 1: is so much white, you don't want to match it
Speaker 1: with any other white unless it's like white ear rings.
Speaker 1: But not a white shirt and white earrings. That's too
Speaker 1: matchy matchy. I don't know what I'm talking about, but
Speaker 1: I do feel like Instagram has given me a better
Speaker 1: sense of style just from observing other women, and I
Speaker 1: think that I'm just in starting to embrace style. I
Speaker 1: counted my number of Taylor Swift shirts. Yesterday or a
Speaker 1: couple of days ago before I left town. I think
Speaker 1: that for the rest of the podcast, I'm going to
Speaker 1: see how many days I can wear a tailor different
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift shirt in a row and see how many
Speaker 1: Let's just see, this is day one, everyone. I got
Speaker 1: a question. It is day one. Is there a woman
Speaker 1: shoe that could still look sexy? I know we were
Speaker 1: kind of talking about it, but it has there been
Speaker 1: like a woman designer that has just leaned into comfortable nous.
Speaker 1: Calla shoes are for women with Calla C L L.
Speaker 1: But it's out of the UK and they're on TikTok
Speaker 1: and they show women with like severely bunyan feet putting
Speaker 1: their feet into shoes that are truly comfortable women's shoes
Speaker 1: that look really good. So I would love to know
Speaker 1: because they're in the UK, and it's always like I
Speaker 1: just don't care about shoes that much to to do it,
Speaker 1: but I care about your feet because one I have
Speaker 1: to rub them to man, I love having feet that
Speaker 1: are like the way that you made my feet feel like. Honestly,
Speaker 1: you brought me a lot of more pleasure than most
Speaker 1: like sexual experiences in my life. Not all but like
Speaker 1: foot rubs. To me, it's not sexual, but it's like
Speaker 1: it's such good pain that it's so freaking good. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't think you've ever been a better friend than
Speaker 1: the two minutes after the rub to me, like I
Speaker 1: just felt a vibe where we were just connected as friendship.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. It's all I've ever wanted. My
Speaker 1: feet are like seriously tingling right now, like they're almost
Speaker 1: getting wet even thinking about being robbed. I'm not joking.
Speaker 1: I'm getting like blue balls on my feet where it's
Speaker 1: like I don't think you can rub them. And you
Speaker 1: thought he was going to like my feet got excited, funk. Okay,
Speaker 1: we gotta go. Thank you for listening to the podcast,
Speaker 1: See you tomorrow on the show. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: to all the best sis that came out to the
Speaker 1: shows this weekend. We love you so much. We're gonna
Speaker 1: read your notes on fans tracks on Thursday. And Um,
Speaker 1: don't be and and Jack from that one song right, Um,
Speaker 1: what about the guy that you rip off choose? Oh yeah, Jake, No,
Speaker 1: Jack Carlow, Jack, Carlo