Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here. I thought I made myself
Speaker 1: perfectly clear.
Speaker 2: But you're a guess to my home.
Speaker 1: You gotta come to me empty, and.
Speaker 3: I said, no guests.
Speaker 1: Your own presence is presence. And I already had too
Speaker 1: much stuff. So how did you dare to surbey me?
Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Bridgard Wineger. We're
Speaker 2: here in the studio. I after, you know, a white
Speaker 2: knuckle drive here, multiple wrong turns, the wrong freeway, just
Speaker 2: an experience, but I made it and we're here. It's
Speaker 2: cool and quiet, cave like. Ah, what is going on?
Speaker 2: Not a lot? I mean, I would just take a second.
Speaker 2: Something I've been struggling with recently. The least, I mean,
Speaker 2: the people I liked least in high school have got
Speaker 2: to get something other than Facebook. I'm talking to you.
Speaker 2: I need you to get on Instagram. I don't have
Speaker 2: a Facebook account, and it's making it very difficult for
Speaker 2: me to spy on you. I need to keep tabs
Speaker 2: on you freaks. Get an Instagram account and if it's private, fine,
Speaker 2: but have a little, uh, you know, at least a
Speaker 2: photo of yourself for the profile. I want to I
Speaker 2: want to catch up with you. And I feel like
Speaker 2: a lot of people are begging for this. Everybody, You've
Speaker 2: got to open at least another account on some social
Speaker 2: media other than Facebook, for most of us have left,
Speaker 2: and that's probably why you're still there. But please, for
Speaker 2: my sake open an Instagram account. That's a little, just
Speaker 2: a little public service begging. And I think, you know,
Speaker 2: my life other than that, other than trying to spy
Speaker 2: on people I don't like, is empty. So let's get
Speaker 2: into the podcast. I love today's guest. It's Chris Grace. Chris,
Speaker 2: welcome to I said, no gift.
Speaker 3: I think you should add a truth Social account. That's
Speaker 3: probably where you're going.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, why didn't I think of that?
Speaker 3: Probably where they all are.
Speaker 2: That's certainly where they are all. Wow, have you been
Speaker 2: on truth Social?
Speaker 1: I have not.
Speaker 3: I've never been.
Speaker 2: I assume it's like Twitter, I think, so. Yeah, that's
Speaker 2: kind of the format of a I.
Speaker 3: Mean, I have an account, I just don't publish that
Speaker 3: my Yeah, my my main media manager posts on truth So.
Speaker 2: All of your more secret opinion.
Speaker 3: I just say what my hot take of the day is,
Speaker 3: you know, then they type it up.
Speaker 2: You're huge untruth Social.
Speaker 3: There are a lot used to be a lot of
Speaker 3: like feral cats in my neighborhood. I live in East Hollywood,
Speaker 3: in your Korea town. Sure not as many recently also
Speaker 3: rise in immigrants.
Speaker 2: I mean two and two together. P put racism and
Speaker 2: racism together and you had double racism. Wait, so the
Speaker 2: but have you seen many feral cats recently? I've got
Speaker 2: a lot suddenly in my neighborhood.
Speaker 3: Well, we just have. We have ones that we are like,
Speaker 3: oh what happened to? And then you know, sometimes they
Speaker 3: you don't see them anymore and you wonder what happened carry.
Speaker 3: We had a very friendly one that we called Rusty
Speaker 3: that would actually come up to us and let let
Speaker 3: she would let us pet her. Ah, very cute, like
Speaker 3: almost like we had an outdoor cat.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: I haven't seen Rusty in two months.
Speaker 2: Oh that's tough. What color was she?
Speaker 3: We called her Rusty because she was a black and
Speaker 3: orange like tortoise or ali coom. I don't know, but
Speaker 3: we thought it was a boy. And then they were like.
Speaker 3: A friend of mine was like, oh, tortoise shell cats
Speaker 3: are almost always girl.
Speaker 2: Oh that's an interesting thing. I feel like with orange
Speaker 2: cats it's a similar thing. I think almost all ginger
Speaker 2: or orange cats are male. But now that we've both
Speaker 2: shared this fact, I'm wondering if people just say that
Speaker 2: about every color of cat and none of it's true.
Speaker 3: Most redheaded humans are male.
Speaker 2: Almost exclusively. I feel like there's probably three or four
Speaker 2: red headed women on earth. The rest of them are men.
Speaker 3: Carol Burnett, Amy Adams.
Speaker 2: We lost the seal ball a long time ago.
Speaker 3: Those are the three.
Speaker 2: No, I've heard that about cats, and recently I heard
Speaker 2: that a lot of white dogs are deaf.
Speaker 3: That. I don't know why. This strikes me as funny,
Speaker 3: but it does.
Speaker 2: I think that's something. Of course, this is what it's
Speaker 2: wrong with podcast.
Speaker 3: Those white dogs can't feel the groove? Is that what
Speaker 3: you're saying? They're always clapping on one and three.
Speaker 2: Most white dogs cannot dance, that's a fact. No, I've
Speaker 2: may be white like pit bowls or something, but there's
Speaker 2: something about that where a lot of them are Strangely,
Speaker 2: they can't hear weird. I don't know how that lines
Speaker 2: up genetically. Oh interesting, I mean the of their owners. Yeah,
Speaker 2: big hearts of Americans adopting them. But I have a
Speaker 2: lot of feral cats recently, and I'm loving it. I
Speaker 2: don't know where they're coming from, but I think one
Speaker 2: must have had babies a while ago, and now suddenly
Speaker 2: the whole family is large.
Speaker 3: We had a little storage tent zipper thing, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean, Like it's not really a storage shed,
Speaker 3: but it's a zip up a little enclosure, and I
Speaker 3: had a bunch of stuff in it in the back
Speaker 3: of our house. And there was a little litter of
Speaker 3: cats in there one day and like basically we put
Speaker 3: out like some stuff for them to so the mother
Speaker 3: could get food and stuff, right, And then next day
Speaker 3: they're all gone. And then I see them there on
Speaker 3: the side of our house, underneath like a little bin
Speaker 3: storage bin. And then once we saw once the mother
Speaker 3: realized as we had seen her there, she took them.
Speaker 3: She kept moving.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, the family really moved around.
Speaker 3: And I had video of her moving from that, Like
Speaker 3: she would take one in her mouth, disappear a couple
Speaker 3: minutes later, come back for another one. So that was
Speaker 3: it was fun. And then a neighbor adopted out all
Speaker 3: the kittens and got the mother whatever medical procedures she needed.
Speaker 3: That mother had a right to reproductive help.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Our cats still have it. That's very sweet.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's very cute to see a mother cat
Speaker 2: carrying the kittens, but it must be the most tedious
Speaker 2: thing in the world for the mother cat having to
Speaker 2: do that over and over.
Speaker 3: And then having to go find food for them or
Speaker 3: for herself.
Speaker 2: This is the struggle of a single mother cat while
Speaker 2: the father's out there doing god knows.
Speaker 3: What, working.
Speaker 2: Trying to put food on the table.
Speaker 3: The saddest thing about that was and I didn't tell
Speaker 3: my I know why. I told my husband about this,
Speaker 3: but I didn't subject him to this, which is that
Speaker 3: in the first location in the storage tent, not all
Speaker 3: the kittens made it.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't like to hear this.
Speaker 3: While we're going to excreciating details, but I mean, it
Speaker 3: was anything just It wasn't like gross in any visceral sense.
Speaker 3: It was just that like two of them weren't breathing,
Speaker 3: and so I it was upon me too. I tried
Speaker 3: to give them a little you know, that's very sweet.
Speaker 2: That breaks my heart.
Speaker 3: I know it's right, but I'm sure the mother was
Speaker 3: just like, that's the way it goes.
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, she knows how nature works. The rest of
Speaker 2: us have.
Speaker 3: Well, Actually, I around the time I was reading about
Speaker 3: mothers and their kittens, and once she gets some sort
Speaker 3: of up to speed, she sort of kicks them out
Speaker 3: of her territory. Oh, like like they're not really going
Speaker 3: to be able to like be hunt in the same
Speaker 3: area as the mother because it's like, no, this is competition. Yeah,
Speaker 3: like go off and find your own. Oh yeah, that's rough.
Speaker 3: That's rough living. Well, I guess it's the way when
Speaker 3: we go to after high school. We got to get
Speaker 3: out of there.
Speaker 2: I kept eating all my mom's food and she asked
Speaker 2: me to leave.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, that was your territory.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. She got very violent.
Speaker 3: That cold Stone was hers.
Speaker 2: Do you have any pets?
Speaker 3: We had two pets, two cats we had.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: Yeah. They passed away two years ago, one within forty
Speaker 3: eight hours of each other.
Speaker 2: Do you think it was a cause, I mean the
Speaker 2: effect of the first I think so.
Speaker 3: Actually, I think there was some sort of chemical effect
Speaker 3: or whatever, and at some point I think we might
Speaker 3: get some more. But it's it's the idea of pets.
Speaker 2: I had a dog.
Speaker 3: It's the sort of pro and con of like you
Speaker 3: miss having them, but also the house is really clean. Sure, sure,
Speaker 3: it's like there's not just suspended for in the air constantly,
Speaker 3: you know, and then also like because my husband loves
Speaker 3: dogs as well, but also there's the like traveling and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's a lot. I mean it's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: we lost our dog last year, and that's like the
Speaker 2: one sliver of like, well, this is one part of
Speaker 2: our life that's a little bit easier.
Speaker 3: How was it dog?
Speaker 2: She was nine?
Speaker 3: Yeah. I I've never as an adult had a dog. Oh,
Speaker 3: but I always have me so I have friends that
Speaker 3: I understand taking care of dogs is more is harder
Speaker 3: than cats. And I also understand that taking care of
Speaker 3: human children is harder. But I sometimes suspect that dog
Speaker 3: owners and newborn parents or you know, parents and newborns
Speaker 3: are maybe ten percent exaggerating how quickly they get they
Speaker 3: got to get home from your party?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, one percent. I mean it was every.
Speaker 3: Time we gotta go, Yeah, we got the jog.
Speaker 2: Look it's eight fifteen, We've got to get home.
Speaker 3: It's like, I think that animal could survive another twenty
Speaker 3: minutes so we could finish this game of Uno no
Speaker 3: no no.
Speaker 2: That is an enormous benefit to having any type of pet.
Speaker 2: Is an immediate escape from any situation. Yeah, and people
Speaker 2: can there's nothing they can do.
Speaker 3: I can hack into your ring camera and monitor that dog.
Speaker 2: While you've never had a dog as an adult, that's
Speaker 2: going to be a very different experience. Did you have
Speaker 2: one as a kid?
Speaker 3: I had one as a kid, but I wasn't the
Speaker 3: primary caretaker of them, so I've never been the one
Speaker 3: that had to regularly. And also when I was a kid,
Speaker 3: we had a big yard, so I don't remember walking
Speaker 3: the dog ever. The dog would just get to roam
Speaker 3: in the yard.
Speaker 2: Exactly right. I'll sure smaller big.
Speaker 3: My husband likes German Shepherds and Golden Retrievers, high energy.
Speaker 3: He's I think reluctant to do it in LA because
Speaker 3: our house is like not super big, right, And I
Speaker 3: don't particularly want a small dog. Okay, sure, I think
Speaker 3: if we had a we uy as well have a cat,
Speaker 3: I think, But actually I don't really know.
Speaker 2: I mean, a small dog can have all sorts of personalities,
Speaker 2: so you can have a real vicious one very docile. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but you kind of never know what you're going to
Speaker 2: get until it gets to the living room.
Speaker 3: Everybody loves having them. It's like kids too, you know.
Speaker 3: People are always like, one they have the kids, They're like,
Speaker 3: you gotta do it.
Speaker 2: I think that that's a trap. I think that that's
Speaker 2: just people being like, well, we've got to drag more
Speaker 2: people in this situation.
Speaker 3: I think hormonally they believe what they're saying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, evolution is telling them, yeah, basically tell other people
Speaker 2: to keep reproducing.
Speaker 3: I think that there is something that happens to my
Speaker 3: friends when they had kids, like whatever, parts of them
Speaker 3: were sort of like not lazy, but like, oh, I'm
Speaker 3: never going to get around to like writing that screenplay
Speaker 3: or doing that thing whatever. A lot of them get
Speaker 3: kicked into overdrive when they had a kid, oh, because
Speaker 3: it was like, oh I got to like establish myself
Speaker 3: or make some money.
Speaker 2: Or now something else depends on me. Yes, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: well maybe I will have a kid for your career.
Speaker 2: That's spark my career need. Yes, I'm gonna have a
Speaker 2: lot of kids in a quick succession. Yes, and then
Speaker 2: when things don't go right, I can blame them. So,
Speaker 2: I mean when parents.
Speaker 3: Do do that, they do that all the time.
Speaker 2: Do you have any interest in having kids?
Speaker 3: No? I just don't think that. Like I can't get
Speaker 3: my credit cards paid off right, like what you know?
Speaker 3: And also I do buy a lot of stuff. I
Speaker 3: told you before we recorded that I was in Burbank
Speaker 3: all day. Yes, and one of one of the part
Speaker 3: of that was that I was walking around the Glendale Galleria.
Speaker 2: Did you get anything?
Speaker 3: I bought a lot of stuff, and I was like, Oh,
Speaker 3: this is why I don't walk around malls.
Speaker 2: What did you get?
Speaker 3: I got a new case from my iPhone, which I needed.
Speaker 3: That's why I was going to I was picking it
Speaker 3: up from the Apple Store. Then I decided to walk
Speaker 3: around and I got a Robert Graham shirt.
Speaker 2: Oh fantastic, which.
Speaker 3: I don't think that I knew that this was a
Speaker 3: gay brand.
Speaker 2: Oh I okay, I mean when I let's just be
Speaker 2: all cards on the table, I have no idea what
Speaker 2: this brand because I acted. Of course, I'm here's what
Speaker 2: I thought it was.
Speaker 3: Do you know the the Koch brothers, the yeah, of course. Okay.
Speaker 3: So one of them has a child named Wayne, Oh wow,
Speaker 3: of course, and he has a brand, and I thought
Speaker 3: it was his brand. So I thought it would be
Speaker 3: funny to buy a shirt from his brand, because they're
Speaker 3: kind of ridiculous. If you ever watched I think you
Speaker 3: should leave. There's this thing called Dan Flasher's shirts that
Speaker 3: are like these extremely busy patterned shirts, and the Wayne Coke,
Speaker 3: the son of the richest people in the world. He
Speaker 3: designs these like Dan Flashes type shirts. So I just
Speaker 3: want to see what they're They're pretty bad. But his
Speaker 3: brand is actually called Wayne Ingraham. Oh so I went
Speaker 3: in there going like, this is that guy's brand, and
Speaker 3: then I'm like looking at it, I'm like, and they
Speaker 3: are like flashy, like they are similarly intricated. And then
Speaker 3: I was just googling. I was like, Okay, what was
Speaker 3: the guy's name? And turns out this is a completely
Speaker 3: different brand. But then also Robert Graham, which is the
Speaker 3: story I was in, is a prominent gay men's It
Speaker 3: is very not like most of the shirts in there are.
Speaker 3: They're like the kind of shirts that Cam would wear
Speaker 3: on Modern Family. Okay sure, and they're very like your
Speaker 3: seventy year old couple friend from home Springs.
Speaker 2: I mean, you didn't need to say any of this.
Speaker 2: I am picturing this type. Yeah, I mean, I assume
Speaker 2: will all end up in that period of our life
Speaker 2: when that's our entire wardrobe you're starting.
Speaker 3: You start tripped to toss kind of mistake.
Speaker 2: We can blame the Koch brothers.
Speaker 3: But exactly. But I did find one shirt that I
Speaker 3: liked and I got it, and then I walked and
Speaker 3: got I got some crocs.
Speaker 2: Just lose control, and.
Speaker 3: Then I got I did need a belt from Unicloth,
Speaker 3: and I got a some pants from Unicloth.
Speaker 2: I love unlo of course, for all sorts of staples.
Speaker 3: Also stables. They their clothes seem to fit me well,
Speaker 3: like they're cut in a good way for me. I
Speaker 3: don't know if it's because I'm Asian and they're Japanese,
Speaker 3: you know, it could be, but yeah, the crocs might
Speaker 3: have been it. I've cut the receipts for all these things.
Speaker 2: What color are the crocs?
Speaker 3: Crocs are a dark purple.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm glad you picked an actual color.
Speaker 3: Yes, oh, I was supposed to do.
Speaker 2: Like I'm trapped with a black pair and it's just
Speaker 2: so boring to wear.
Speaker 3: I try to buy colors in general, like you know,
Speaker 3: and sometimes I actually try to buy a like if I'm
Speaker 3: buying a shirt, sometimes I'll just buy a shirt that's
Speaker 3: like I don't think. I don't know if I would
Speaker 3: wear this color I'll.
Speaker 2: Just buy it and then do you regret it?
Speaker 3: Ever? No, I've been in a lot of hot pinks
Speaker 3: and fluorescent oranges, and I don't know, I've enjoyed it.
Speaker 2: I can see you in both of those colors.
Speaker 3: I'm enjoying them. This shirt I bought at a Tesco
Speaker 3: grocery store, you know, from a grocery oh, in the
Speaker 3: UK and in outside of London.
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, that makes it. I mean I was gonna say,
Speaker 2: if you had bought it from like a Ralph's esque store,
Speaker 2: that would be shocking because it's very stylish.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I bought it from Food for Less smart Final,
Speaker 3: but I mean that's kind of what it was.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But I mean, I think the UK always has
Speaker 2: a little edge.
Speaker 3: On UK's grocery stores are so much better than ours.
Speaker 2: They're beautiful, ye, corgious stores. I think most European countries
Speaker 2: have really nice grocery stores compared to whatever we're dealing
Speaker 2: with here.
Speaker 3: They do. They're a lot. You just have to get
Speaker 3: used to the fact that if you want let's say, mustard,
Speaker 3: you have maybe two to pick from.
Speaker 2: Right, You're not just assaulted by an entire wall.
Speaker 3: But I mean, is that losing that much really, like, yes,
Speaker 3: screw those countries.
Speaker 2: No, we need in the United States. We need the
Speaker 2: illusion of choice and it needs to be the biggest
Speaker 2: possible illusion. And that's why our mustard, I mean, it's
Speaker 2: an entire aisle of mustard.
Speaker 3: I think probably we use more purchasing things. I know
Speaker 3: everyone does this, but I think we particularly use like
Speaker 3: the thing we buy as as a statement every time
Speaker 3: we buy it. You know, like if you're getting the
Speaker 3: Hinds simply organic, you know, you're you're asserting like a
Speaker 3: tiny sliver of your identity when you buy that.
Speaker 2: Right, you make mistakes shopping.
Speaker 3: And I think that, yeah, you make bad decisions. I
Speaker 3: think that a British person doesn't care that much like
Speaker 3: which ketchup they get, not necessarily their desire to, you know,
Speaker 3: be an individual expression every time they pick economy.
Speaker 2: Every single thing there.
Speaker 3: And I think we are open to that in every
Speaker 3: single thing we buy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's probably very true. I mean on the topic
Speaker 2: of mustard, though, I will say there are.
Speaker 3: So many mustard casts.
Speaker 2: I love all mustards. Do you every single mustard? Have
Speaker 2: you ever been to worst koucha that plays the Sausage.
Speaker 3: Place downtown, Yes, yes, I have.
Speaker 2: Oh, the mustard's on display at this place. I get
Speaker 2: every bottle I've got. I've got one broad Worst, but
Speaker 2: I eat I try every mustard well every time I go,
Speaker 2: because I like all of them.
Speaker 3: So do you like them all or do you have
Speaker 3: a hierarchy of I like.
Speaker 2: The ce deer one, like the whole grain one. Yes,
Speaker 2: but I don't think that. I think they basically are
Speaker 2: a level for me. I like the honey mustard, I
Speaker 2: love the yellow mustards. So it's just it takes me
Speaker 2: about six hours to eat one broad Worst because I'm
Speaker 2: trying the different mustards.
Speaker 3: And that's not ephem. Do you is there some kind
Speaker 3: of cultural genetic reason for this? Do you think is that?
Speaker 2: I feel like there there's got to be a reason
Speaker 2: for a lot of my problems.
Speaker 3: That's a problem.
Speaker 2: I think there is some some German in my family.
Speaker 3: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: And so maybe there's this mustard love dormant somewhere and
Speaker 2: made that just whenever I go to a broad Worst place.
Speaker 3: I haven't forbid you ever go to Berlin or something.
Speaker 2: I'll collapse. I'll just disintegree. Have you been to Berlin?
Speaker 3: No? Actually, I am not going to next week the
Speaker 3: Berlin Improfestival. Oh and I was invited to go, but
Speaker 3: I can because I just tell me, if you agree
Speaker 3: with this reasoning, it would have been that next week
Speaker 3: I go to Berlin, the weekend after I would go
Speaker 3: to Vegas for another event, and then the weekend after
Speaker 3: that I would go to Edinburgh, Scotland. Oh and I
Speaker 3: felt that the jet lag whiplash of those three weekends
Speaker 3: in a row is going to be too brutal.
Speaker 2: That I mean, I was ready to say you're wrong, Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I guess I agree. And just the fact that
Speaker 2: it's Las Vegas in particular in the middle. It's a
Speaker 2: real tough place to be, even just on its own. Yes,
Speaker 2: in between two huge international flights.
Speaker 3: Yes, unfortunately, But I have heard wonderful things about Berlin
Speaker 3: and I do want.
Speaker 2: To get Yeah, people go crazy for it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a there's this super exclusive club called bert
Speaker 3: berg Hine. What's this that is? Like? You wait seven
Speaker 3: hours in line and it's very difficult to get in.
Speaker 3: I mean, not really my speed, but I'm intrigued.
Speaker 2: What what are you as a person? After seven hours?
Speaker 3: Perfect to get rejected from burg Hinding. I mean I
Speaker 3: waited for I think I waited for maybe two hours
Speaker 3: to get into the tunnel in Manhattan way back in
Speaker 3: the day.
Speaker 2: Two hours is too.
Speaker 3: Much on the West Side, and got rejected because I
Speaker 3: was wearing khakis, and the bouncer she was like, sorry, guys,
Speaker 3: it's too casual. I'm not gonna be able to do
Speaker 3: that tonight. But then someone told me, like, I'll just
Speaker 3: go back and the same night, and went back at
Speaker 3: like one and they were letting everybody in.
Speaker 2: After midnight is khaki hour.
Speaker 3: I think that, you know, people are leaving and they.
Speaker 2: They're just trying to keep the club full. They should
Speaker 2: have somebody policing the line up and down the line
Speaker 2: looking for khakis. Don't make somebody wait two hours, no khakis.
Speaker 2: It's ridiculous.
Speaker 3: That was one of the only times that I ever
Speaker 3: went to a club and like left at ten am
Speaker 3: where people were starting their day.
Speaker 2: That just does not exist within me.
Speaker 3: I I mean, I think I've only done that maybe
Speaker 3: twice my whole life.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I don't know that I could do it those.
Speaker 3: In my twenties in New York City.
Speaker 2: You know, I don't care what age I would be.
Speaker 2: It would kill me. No circuit parties but maybe that's
Speaker 2: waiting for me. Maybe there will be like a new
Speaker 2: chapter when suddenly I've got the second wind.
Speaker 3: The one thing is that gay men you have access
Speaker 3: to the circuit party life until you are dead, Like
Speaker 3: there is no maximum age as long as you're only
Speaker 3: wearing white. Or if you want to be the guy
Speaker 3: that does the flags in the corner, yeah, I mean
Speaker 3: the guys that do the flags. It's like, well they
Speaker 3: found a skill and there I never seen more than
Speaker 3: one at one.
Speaker 2: Party, but right well I'm going to dominate that part
Speaker 2: of the circuit parties.
Speaker 3: Do you have you done? Stand up? Do you stand up? No?
Speaker 2: I don't do stand up.
Speaker 3: Maybe this is your time in the corner to do it.
Speaker 2: Who knows, there's always something waiting for us. It's a
Speaker 2: new chapter.
Speaker 3: I mean that relentless youth of the gay man as
Speaker 3: he ages, you know what I mean, Like they just
Speaker 3: don't give up on anything. They never really.
Speaker 2: Realize cleaning to their thirties.
Speaker 3: I mean, I bought some of those sweatshirt swove rolls.
Speaker 3: You know this. It's overalls made out of like sweatshirt material.
Speaker 2: Wow, how have I never come across very comfortable?
Speaker 3: But also they do make me look like I'm trying
Speaker 3: to be like twenty years old.
Speaker 2: Or a baby.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's baby clothing.
Speaker 3: Or you know gay man wearing those like kaftans and stuff.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm familiar. I've got I've basically been given one
Speaker 2: on this podcast.
Speaker 3: There you go.
Speaker 2: It's more of a tunic, but you know, like loose,
Speaker 2: flowing piece of material.
Speaker 3: But I mean, I think there's going to be admired
Speaker 3: about that, you know that. I think we feel like
Speaker 3: we can just have access to anything we want our
Speaker 3: whole life. Like we never age ourselves out of anything, right,
Speaker 3: We're never just like maybe I shouldn't go to precinct
Speaker 3: and dew Poppers till one am or whatever, you know,
Speaker 3: like there's no you know, I mean it's also to
Speaker 3: be despised as well, of course.
Speaker 2: Of course, I mean, speaking of things to despise, Chris,
Speaker 2: I was very excited to have you here on the
Speaker 2: podcast today. I thought, he'll come by, we'll just chat,
Speaker 2: get to know each other, wrap the podcast, and we'll
Speaker 2: go home. No feelings, sirved. Yes, the podcast is called
Speaker 2: I said, No Gifts. Yes, I assume you got an
Speaker 2: email about this at some point with the title of
Speaker 2: the show. Yes, pretty clear directive. So I was a
Speaker 2: little thrown when you waltzed into the studio holding what
Speaker 2: would not more clearly be a gift for me.
Speaker 3: Well, this is a card that says Bridger on it.
Speaker 3: So I guess you could assume that. But one of
Speaker 3: my love languages is gift giving.
Speaker 2: Is that true?
Speaker 3: It is? Actually I'm a very good gift giver.
Speaker 2: Oh I wish I was a good I'm good for
Speaker 2: like one one gift a year for one person and everyone.
Speaker 3: We'll text it, I mean we'll see so yes, unfortunately,
Speaker 3: and it says it does.
Speaker 2: There's an immediate apology, which I appreciate. Yes, every card
Speaker 2: should just have a sorry underneath it.
Speaker 3: Just a lower expect this, I mean, this is, this
Speaker 3: is meeting the minimal definition of wrapped.
Speaker 2: By the way, this is much more wrapped than a
Speaker 2: lot of give.
Speaker 3: I didn't I didn't know that. Oh wow, well then,
Speaker 3: I mean clearly in the median of yeah.
Speaker 2: You're like a nice average it passed so nice.
Speaker 3: That's that says something poor about your previous guests.
Speaker 2: I would say, I'm happy to say a lot of
Speaker 2: bad things about previous guests. Okay, so it's in this
Speaker 2: nice little brown on Alpe and I'm opening it and
Speaker 2: I'm seeing them says Typo on it, which I do
Speaker 2: know is a store in the Glendale.
Speaker 3: I didn't I left off one stop. I will say.
Speaker 3: The card and I got at today, but the gift
Speaker 3: I did not get today. Okay, okay, the gift was
Speaker 3: not a last minute Okay.
Speaker 2: This is again, And I will say a lot of
Speaker 2: the gifts on this podcast were probably found in someone's
Speaker 2: glove box.
Speaker 3: So you're in studio here, you're killing I'm giving you
Speaker 3: a canon camera, I wish.
Speaker 2: Okay, So this okay, So the card says goodbye. It's
Speaker 2: just scary.
Speaker 3: Inside it is just anthrax. I like giving cards that
Speaker 3: are just don't fit the occasion at all. Sometimes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know that this fits any I.
Speaker 3: Also thought that this was a funny card because if
Speaker 3: you look on the inside, you can unfold that later.
Speaker 3: But like, there's no it's a blank card, right.
Speaker 2: This is a very cold, scary It.
Speaker 3: Just as goodbye on the outside and nothing on the inside. Oh,
Speaker 3: so this is.
Speaker 2: You give this to somebody before, you know, assassinating, executing,
Speaker 2: or in hospice.
Speaker 3: Maybe you giving them a card you're giving them one
Speaker 3: last thing to throw away as they're in their their
Speaker 3: hospice room is getting all cluttered for the nurse.
Speaker 2: To throw in a plastic exactly, goodbye. That's that's a
Speaker 2: tough card to get. Oh god, I'm gonna have to
Speaker 2: be careful driving home tonight. Okay, so now we're hoping
Speaker 2: there's a piece of paper in here that I'm unfolding.
Speaker 2: I am thrilled that it's a voucher for I Fly,
Speaker 2: which is the thing where you go in the cage
Speaker 2: and there's the shooting, yes, where they blow you up
Speaker 2: into the air.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 2: Have you done this before?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: I listened to I think maybe it might have been
Speaker 3: a Jimmy Parter episode. You were saying that you don't
Speaker 3: like you you're getting too much clutter.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: I specifically mentioned that you you wanted an I Fly.
Speaker 2: Wait did I really say it?
Speaker 3: Did? That's this is the kind of gift giver. I am, well,
Speaker 3: you're incredible this.
Speaker 2: You should do this as a second career. I mean,
Speaker 2: that's amazing. I don't have any recollection of that, and
Speaker 2: I mean, but of course this is something that I
Speaker 2: would love to do and would never buy for myself.
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, the gift Universal City Walk, I believe is
Speaker 3: where it is. Oh, and it's yeah, I wouldn't get
Speaker 3: that for myself either, because I find that a little scary.
Speaker 3: But it seemed like you were open to the ideas.
Speaker 2: I'm open to the idea of flying through the air
Speaker 2: and possibly being thrown against the side of a wall.
Speaker 3: And also this doesn't clut up your home.
Speaker 2: Oh absolutely not. I mean it's a life experience. This
Speaker 2: is probably going to immediately go into top ten. Experience
Speaker 2: is so wonderful. I don't know what that says about
Speaker 2: my life that something at the City Walk is in
Speaker 2: top ten. But I is there anything that could get
Speaker 2: you to do this? Is it super scary or is
Speaker 2: it like I just would rather not?
Speaker 3: It's more I think now it's more just that I
Speaker 3: would rather not, because like there's rides at Disneyland in
Speaker 3: California Adventure now that I can go on, Like I
Speaker 3: can go on Matterhorn, and I can go on Space Mountain. Yes,
Speaker 3: they're not overly scary to me, right, But the last
Speaker 3: time I went Space Mountain, I was like that might
Speaker 3: be the last time, because it just threw me around
Speaker 3: in a way that I was like, Eh, that wasn't
Speaker 3: so fun, right, It wasn't so much like they're like
Speaker 3: some genuine roller coasters I am scared of. But Space
Speaker 3: Mountain is not one of them.
Speaker 2: No, it's very it's a very mild ride.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I felt for my back.
Speaker 2: It was a little well, do not get back on
Speaker 2: the matter.
Speaker 3: Horn matter horns horrible. I'd rather be murdered by the yetti.
Speaker 3: I will say that this is my This is why
Speaker 3: I say I'm a good gift giver, because often I'll
Speaker 3: give my husband things at Christmas or whatever that he mentioned,
Speaker 3: like in February off hand, and I'll have a little
Speaker 3: note somewhere or an Amazon wish list or something that's
Speaker 3: so you know sweet.
Speaker 2: I wish I had the wherewithal the memory or just
Speaker 2: the heart, or to listen to people interesting, the people
Speaker 2: I love. Would you ever actually skydive?
Speaker 3: I'm so neutral about that. I don't feel particular. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 3: I think I would be very nervous and scared, but
Speaker 3: I'm not like terrified of it. I'm also not super
Speaker 3: interested in it. I don't know why. I'm like, I
Speaker 3: just feel very not anything about it. I don't know.
Speaker 3: That's that's maybe maybe it's a form of dys time.
Speaker 2: Here or interesting thing to have no opinion.
Speaker 3: It's so it's I've never done it, and it's but
Speaker 3: it's not a thing that I'm like, Man, it's on
Speaker 3: my bucket list one day, I want to how are you?
Speaker 2: Oh, I couldn't do it. I mean, I think I
Speaker 2: catch the bug after this, though, I know maybe this
Speaker 2: is you.
Speaker 3: This is gonna be it's too low to the ground and.
Speaker 2: This all leads to goodbye.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I feel like I could probably get there. I could
Speaker 2: get up into the plane, but I think once we
Speaker 2: get to the what do we call that the door
Speaker 2: on the plane that you jump out of that can't
Speaker 2: possibly call the door hatch.
Speaker 3: My friend skydived, and he said the weirdest thing for
Speaker 3: him was being in the plane on the ascent and
Speaker 3: realizing that he was not going back down a plane,
Speaker 3: which which is kind of weird. I never thought about
Speaker 3: it that way, but yeah, it's like, oh, it's a
Speaker 3: it's you're only taking half of this plane ride.
Speaker 2: Oh god, that's terrifying.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I feel like the you know, the instructor taped to
Speaker 2: the instructor or whatever. But I feel like animal instinct
Speaker 2: would take over for me and I would injure them
Speaker 2: myself in the plane.
Speaker 3: I mean, there was there was someone in New York
Speaker 3: State that died because when he you know, they did tandem.
Speaker 3: When he jumped out, his head whipped back and he
Speaker 3: knocked out the instructor. So the instructor just passed out
Speaker 3: and they both died. And I think they I think
Speaker 3: they died because the student, I think he could have
Speaker 3: pulled whatever, but he just didn't like if you, if you,
Speaker 3: He didn't realize he had knocked the guy out. So
Speaker 3: you're just you've passed the lower altitude where you should
Speaker 3: have pulled this.
Speaker 2: Why is doing it horrible at his job?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yelp review for that, it's gonna be awful. He's
Speaker 3: leaving it at last one hundred meters. He was leaving
Speaker 3: a Yelp review.
Speaker 2: This is the worst service.
Speaker 3: I as soon as he got in so range, he
Speaker 3: was like, you know, with skydiving, I think one is that. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think your first whatever, like twenty or maybe are
Speaker 3: like tandem or whatever.
Speaker 2: You can't just do it on your own.
Speaker 3: And so I think part of my reluctance too, is
Speaker 3: like I feel like if I actually think skydiving. There
Speaker 3: are a lot of things like that that I easily
Speaker 3: could fall into a rabbit hole of, like, oh, I'm
Speaker 3: really getting into skydiving now, and now like every weekend
Speaker 3: I'm going to do jumps or whatever.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, And that's who you are now.
Speaker 3: I think I have to be more judicious as I
Speaker 3: get older about which of these things I allow myself
Speaker 3: to get into rabbit holes.
Speaker 2: What's the last thing you went into a real fixation
Speaker 2: with this year?
Speaker 3: The biggest fixation is this social deduction game called Blood
Speaker 3: on the clock Tower, Oh, which all of my friends
Speaker 3: are so sick of hearing me talk about. It's been
Speaker 3: just over a year that I've been extremely deep into this.
Speaker 3: That's why I will be in Vegas on October for
Speaker 3: that reason. Really, Vegas clock Tower con. You're deep, So.
Speaker 2: You're picking a con in Vegas over going to Berlin.
Speaker 3: Essentially, Yeah, I mean what I could have done was
Speaker 3: go to Berlin and just stay in Europe through that
Speaker 3: middle week and skip the convention completely. That is an
Speaker 3: option that I could have been right.
Speaker 2: But basically, what I'm saying is this game that you've
Speaker 2: become obsessed with is really starting to affect your life.
Speaker 3: Would I mean, no question at all. I mean I
Speaker 3: am very dedicated to it. I am very chagrined to
Speaker 3: talk about it to my friends.
Speaker 2: Well, I've got a podcast episode for them.
Speaker 3: Oh, what's that this one? Well? Have you ever played
Speaker 3: Werewolf for Mafia?
Speaker 2: I've played Mafia, and what do you feel about it?
Speaker 2: I enjoy it?
Speaker 3: Okay, It's essentially Mafia with some improved rules to it
Speaker 3: that make the game like a lot more fun, such
Speaker 3: as such as in Mafia, when you die, if you're
Speaker 3: killed by the mafia or if you're voted to die
Speaker 3: by the town by the villagers, you can't talk anymore. Right,
Speaker 3: You can open your eyes at night so you can
Speaker 3: see who's evil and who's not, but you can't speak
Speaker 3: anymore for the rest of the game. So if you're
Speaker 3: the first one killed in Mafia, you go the rest
Speaker 3: of the You're essentially not participating in Blood on the
Speaker 3: clock Tower. When you die, you continue to speak through
Speaker 3: the rest of the game, and you win or lose
Speaker 3: with your team good or evil. But you still close
Speaker 3: your eyes at night, so you don't know everyone's identities. Okay,
Speaker 3: and when you die, your your role is not announced.
Speaker 3: The town doesn't know if you were good or evil.
Speaker 2: Wait, so what does dying do at all?
Speaker 3: You lose your ability, which everyone in the game has
Speaker 3: an ability as opposed to to yes, where as opposed
Speaker 3: in Mafia there are some villagers who don't really do anything.
Speaker 3: Everyone has one, and when you die, you lose it
Speaker 3: and you only get to vote one more time for
Speaker 3: like a town execution. Okay, those are like the big changes,
Speaker 3: but they do a lot like the fact that you
Speaker 3: when you die you get to keep playing. Right. Also, specifically,
Speaker 3: if you are an evil player that gets killed and
Speaker 3: you were trying to bluff and convince people that you
Speaker 3: were good, you keep doing that, you keep up the ruse,
Speaker 3: or you try to like confuse information, deflex suspicion away
Speaker 3: from your other teammates and that kind of stuff. It's
Speaker 3: very fun.
Speaker 2: This sounds like it was created by somebody who was
Speaker 2: constantly losing in Mafia, and.
Speaker 3: It is specifically created by a guy named Stephen Medway
Speaker 3: who was killed in Mafia and had to be silent
Speaker 3: for another two hours.
Speaker 2: He's very unpopular in his friend.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I always wonder who the creators of these games
Speaker 2: are because they're almost like sleepover games that seem like
Speaker 2: they just appear out of nowhere.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is a youngish company that's like five to
Speaker 3: ten years old now, and because of my falling into
Speaker 3: the rabbit hole, I'm not friends with everybody in the company.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, and you're an ambassador.
Speaker 3: I am actually genuinely like this conversation. I've hanged with you,
Speaker 3: I've had with a lot of people, and I have
Speaker 3: turned a lot of people onto the game. You're welcome
Speaker 3: to him play.
Speaker 2: Oh, I would love to. I'll probably make everyone mad somehow.
Speaker 3: Uh No, you'll be fine.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Don't underestimate.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know. I also want to say that my
Speaker 3: husband is a musical theater actor. He's going to really
Speaker 3: I don't think he'll like that I said this, but
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna say anyway, a casting director once told
Speaker 3: him that he could be I can't remember the exact phrasing.
Speaker 3: I think he was told that he could be the
Speaker 3: next Jimmy Smoo.
Speaker 2: I was about to be like, oh, my boyfriend is
Speaker 2: also we can't this is going to inflate jim Zgo
Speaker 2: so much. That's crazy.
Speaker 3: Well, because my husband is also often a person doing
Speaker 3: sit down your rock in the boat. I'll just say
Speaker 3: that that's that was his you know, oh yeah crack.
Speaker 2: Did in the Jimmy Part episode, did we talk about
Speaker 2: the first time I saw Jim sing.
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: Because it's it's such a was this at the Jeff
Speaker 2: Franklin's house, the creator of Full.
Speaker 3: So because I thought you were at that party, because
Speaker 3: you knew Jim I was.
Speaker 2: We had been dating for two weeks, okay, cool, and
Speaker 2: he was like, I'm doing this weird thing. You probably
Speaker 2: don't want to go. I was like, of course I want.
Speaker 3: Yes, So this this whole story of the shark tank
Speaker 3: and the Yeah, because I'm a dedicated part of listener,
Speaker 3: this has uh this is part of like Jimmy Potter lore,
Speaker 3: right because it's come up a few times, and also
Speaker 3: other people tangential to it, like or people that know
Speaker 3: Iliana Douglas. This hit this story and you were on
Speaker 3: the podcast as well and you talked about so it's
Speaker 3: almost like Bat's doing echo location, like each Bat has, like,
Speaker 3: you know, cast a new part of this story. And
Speaker 3: then actually recently my husband and I looked at a
Speaker 3: there's a recent like YouTube real estate video of that house.
Speaker 4: Oh no, shark Tank one like the it's like sixty
Speaker 4: million dollars, so much money, And it's a tour of
Speaker 4: like the house that I think you were in because
Speaker 4: you can see the shark.
Speaker 3: Tank on the I to look at this, it's but weirdly,
Speaker 3: like I we were watching I know this sounds ridiculous,
Speaker 3: but we were watching that going like I don't think
Speaker 3: I'd want to live in this house. Like no, it's
Speaker 3: kind of like the tasted level is not there.
Speaker 2: The taste level doesn't exist at all. It's so tacky. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and for like sixty million. Whenever a house is that
Speaker 2: much money, I'm like, if someone has that much money,
Speaker 2: aren't they just making the house they want?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but oh I'm not.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna go buy Jeff Franklin's gross used house
Speaker 2: if I have one hundred million dollars.
Speaker 3: But maybe. I mean it's weird to think that you
Speaker 3: would see that house and be like, yeah, that's.
Speaker 2: This is for me.
Speaker 3: That's the they the decorations there, or the way it's
Speaker 3: laid out or whatever. The way it's like inside is
Speaker 3: like a Spanish villa, but like like partially, Yeah, it
Speaker 3: was very confused in terms of its style and also
Speaker 3: I always think about the maintenance of those. Of course.
Speaker 3: I mean, if I could ever afford a I think,
Speaker 3: what's a really what's a realistic house price for us
Speaker 3: to hit.
Speaker 2: In Los Angeles? Like if we've got became moderately pretty
Speaker 2: successful in.
Speaker 3: Los Angeles makes it hard because everyone's like, what, well,
Speaker 3: because you legitimately need to like, say one million dollars
Speaker 3: for like yeah, like I think if I could get
Speaker 3: like a larch month two million dollar house.
Speaker 2: That doesn't exist. I think in Large one it's at
Speaker 2: least three at this point. Oh, I like larche Mont
Speaker 2: so much, so you've got to keep working working.
Speaker 3: That's why I'm doing this podcast exactly.
Speaker 2: The check is huge.
Speaker 3: Where can I get that two million? Like at water?
Speaker 2: At Water?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Okay, I'm not the way the confidence that I'm
Speaker 2: bringing to real estate, I don't know.
Speaker 3: Don't you like Larchemont though it's so nice?
Speaker 2: Large One's very nice, But you're not going to get
Speaker 2: a two million dollar house there.
Speaker 3: I'll show you Bridger. I come back on this pocket.
Speaker 2: As we have ah dangling the key.
Speaker 3: Yes, so one. I have a lot of friends who
Speaker 3: post those things of like, I forget what they do
Speaker 3: and they're like, we we closed on whatever, and you
Speaker 3: know they live in like Indiana or something, and it's
Speaker 3: so slightly frustrated.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they're like, oh, you've got a house.
Speaker 3: Easy. But the thing that was, she'll never listen to this,
Speaker 3: So I don't think it's the matter. My niece, who
Speaker 3: is much younger than me, bought a house and I
Speaker 3: was like, oh what this isn't how this is supposed
Speaker 3: to Wait a minute, You're supposed to like come to
Speaker 3: La and sleep on my foot on.
Speaker 2: It's a it's a hard city to explain to anyone
Speaker 2: who doesn't live here, which just makes no The cost
Speaker 2: of living makes no sense to anybody.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and the despair. I also, I think it's hard
Speaker 3: here because you have friends that are not even like
Speaker 3: distant acquaintances, but you have some friends that just like
Speaker 3: have done very well. And I had just I have
Speaker 3: friends where I go to their house. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: what how did this happen?
Speaker 2: No? I mean I was just talking to somebody about
Speaker 2: this in La, like I know, legitimate like multi millionaires,
Speaker 2: just like the nature of being here and working in
Speaker 2: the business. And then I have friends who are like
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm gonna have health insurance this year.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're all.
Speaker 2: In the same business in the same city. It makes
Speaker 2: no sense whatsoever.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Like, I have a friend who was like season
Speaker 3: regular on a CBS show for like eight years, oh,
Speaker 3: and started investing in homes and so now owns like
Speaker 3: four homes in La Wow, and like two apartments in
Speaker 3: New York. And it's just like, yeah, because like season
Speaker 3: three of whatever medical Cops show or whatever your season
Speaker 3: regular season three and four, You're just like, oh, I
Speaker 3: just have like eight hundred thousand dollars sitting around. What
Speaker 3: am I gonna do with it?
Speaker 2: So crazy to make the dream to become a to
Speaker 2: play a nerd or a data scientist on.
Speaker 3: To be to be the hacker comic on the very
Speaker 3: serious Murder show where on CBS shows they go to
Speaker 3: that character and that character just does like straight up bits.
Speaker 3: It's so weird because I watched them sometimes and it's
Speaker 3: just like, Oh, I've auditioned for like Scorpion or whatever,
Speaker 3: and it's just like it's so odd to me.
Speaker 2: Just jarring Tonal.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there was there was a remember a Scorpion or
Speaker 3: a CSI cyber oh, where Horatio Sans like guests starred
Speaker 3: and just did a fully comic character in the middle
Speaker 3: of like the room was covered in blood.
Speaker 2: That's the dream. It's the dream ten seasons.
Speaker 3: Better to be that than the medical examiner on a sitcom.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's a dull job. Yeah, that's very dull
Speaker 2: job to give. Just going back a little bit to
Speaker 2: give some context about the Jeff Franklin House, because I
Speaker 2: don't think I've ever actually talked about on this podcast.
Speaker 2: I'm curious to know, like you piecing it together from
Speaker 2: Jimmy Parteros, what you what the situation.
Speaker 3: I'll give you a quick summer what I know. Iliana
Speaker 3: Douglas was tasked with sort of organizing these home concerts in.
Speaker 2: Our variety shows called living room shows.
Speaker 3: Yes, in Jeff Franklin's or maybe other people's rich home,
Speaker 3: rich people's house. And I've done some home concerts shows
Speaker 3: as well, and you invite some other friends. I believe
Speaker 3: Tom Jones was in the audience, because Jimmy's obsessed with
Speaker 3: Tom Jones and Jimmy Smagoula. Did he sing sit on
Speaker 3: You're rocking the Boat? He Okay, which I think was
Speaker 3: on YouTube at one point. It was Yeah, there are
Speaker 3: a bunch of clips from this. These Illienna Douglas living
Speaker 3: room shows were on YouTube at one point and they're
Speaker 3: not anymore.
Speaker 2: Oh no, they've been scrubbed.
Speaker 3: They've been scrubbed, and maybe by Iliana. The what I
Speaker 3: remember because I remember seeing the Sit on Your Rocking
Speaker 3: Boat on YouTube at one point, and then Jimmy did
Speaker 3: not want to go on and explicitly asked to not perform,
Speaker 3: and then Pardo Jimmy Parter, yes and uh, and then
Speaker 3: Ileanna put him on anyway and it went poorly. That's
Speaker 3: that is. I think that's the summary of what I
Speaker 3: know from the part O verse.
Speaker 2: He kind of directly addressed Tom Jones.
Speaker 3: Yes, because he does like Tom Jones. He knows that
Speaker 3: Tom Jones rap or whatever's the Tom Jones song where
Speaker 3: Tom Jones rapped.
Speaker 2: I got to hear this. Yeah, yeah, Tom Jones. I'm
Speaker 2: always shocked that he's Welsh. Oh yes, yes, yes, it
Speaker 2: makes no sense to me, right, it seems very Florida.
Speaker 3: That's right. Have you seen Jimmy Smagoula on Broadway?
Speaker 2: Yes, last year he was. They did spam a lot.
Speaker 2: Oh cool, and he's uh, they're in rehearsal. Right now
Speaker 2: for a new thing about Louis Armstrong called Wonderful World.
Speaker 3: And he's playing Louis.
Speaker 2: Yes, he's planning to end his career.
Speaker 3: He's puffing his cheeks out.
Speaker 2: No, he's playing Louis Armstrong's manager. I want to see, of.
Speaker 3: Course, all these bio musical I don't know if it's
Speaker 3: by a musical. Yes, they always have a white manager
Speaker 3: or record executive that comes in and is, like, you know,
Speaker 3: gives them some advice or whatever, and then ends up
Speaker 3: sort of like screwing them over on a contract or
Speaker 3: something like that. And like the I think the Gloria
Speaker 3: Stefan one had one. I think the Donna Summer Musical
Speaker 3: had one. Oh my god, like the Temptations one has
Speaker 3: one or whatever. Like there's always just like a guy
Speaker 3: in like a leisure suit.
Speaker 2: Of course, mind a desk slime ball. Yeah, I think
Speaker 2: he is. He probably. I don't know that much about
Speaker 2: the character, but I have to assume it's kind of
Speaker 2: a slimy guy.
Speaker 3: I just I can't wait to see him in the
Speaker 3: middle show seeing what a Wonderful World as this character.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it was a Jeff Franklin's house which was
Speaker 2: built on the former grounds of the Sharon Tate.
Speaker 3: Home, So not the same house like they tore down.
Speaker 2: They tore down a very I mean, there are limited
Speaker 2: photos of that one because I think most of them
Speaker 2: from the crime scene the manson. But that looked like
Speaker 2: a nice, charming home, right, he ripped it down and
Speaker 2: made something way more cursed.
Speaker 3: I mean, every time you see a photo of like
Speaker 3: some old Hollywood legends home, they always seem nice and
Speaker 3: kind of by moner standards modest, yes, yes, And they
Speaker 3: seem like that would be a cool house to live in,
Speaker 3: like it'd be cool to live in Fred Astaire's house
Speaker 3: or whatever, of course, and then they often are replaced
Speaker 3: by these sort.
Speaker 2: Of like Vegas style trash bins. Yeah, this place sucked.
Speaker 3: Also, I bet Sharon Tate's version had a lot more
Speaker 3: yard to it.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sure this had a very little yard.
Speaker 3: They always push out to the edges. Yeah, of course,
Speaker 3: you know, maybe having that much yard allow of people
Speaker 3: to sneak onto the property.
Speaker 2: And Jeff Franklin is you know his fans are just
Speaker 2: trying to get over that fence all the time.
Speaker 3: Yes, And who was Jeff? Wait you said Jeff Franklin.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Full House, and then I believe we might have
Speaker 2: to cut this. But I think there were a lot
Speaker 2: of allegations. Okay, I think that the Franklin.
Speaker 3: Trail, allegations that Full House sucked.
Speaker 2: None of the more true. It's an excellent program.
Speaker 3: Never watched an episode of My Whole Life.
Speaker 2: Oh I loved it as a kid.
Speaker 3: But for children, what's full about the house?
Speaker 2: I mean, the whole family's there. You've got the father,
Speaker 2: everybody except for the mom who died and that starts
Speaker 2: the show.
Speaker 3: How many fathers are there?
Speaker 2: There's one father, two uncles, three. Dave Coolier is one
Speaker 2: of the uncles. John Stamos is an uncle.
Speaker 3: Who's Oh, Bob Sackett is the dad.
Speaker 2: Bob Sacket's the dad. Lori Laughlin is oh college lady. Yes, okay,
Speaker 2: this is These are my connections to the show. Oh wait,
Speaker 2: are the uncles his brothers or are they the dead
Speaker 2: mother's brothers? That is such a good question.
Speaker 3: I don't know if Stamos is his brother and Kolier
Speaker 3: is the.
Speaker 2: Right the ghost's brother, I don't remember, but I Stamos's
Speaker 2: character is very Greek, and no one else in the
Speaker 2: show is Greek, so I don't know how that plays
Speaker 2: into it. Maybe he's just a friend who calls himself.
Speaker 3: Maybe the dead mother is like the goddess Athena.
Speaker 2: She's been pulled into the under world and Danny Tanner
Speaker 2: has to confront hates.
Speaker 3: Right, and then John Samos was walking out of Hell
Speaker 3: and turned back, and she turned into she went back
Speaker 3: to Hell. But then they brought them back as fuller house.
Speaker 3: So Jeff frank was a little around. He's not living
Speaker 3: in that house anymore. It's for sale. I don't know
Speaker 3: what you make from this podcast, but we could get
Speaker 3: you into that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm looking at look, I'm circling the property. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm constantly on the phone with my book marked on
Speaker 2: Zillo Jeff frankon. He may have been run out of town.
Speaker 3: You know, I think, I know this is often said.
Speaker 3: I don't think people really get run out of town.
Speaker 3: I told you before we recorded that I was in
Speaker 3: Burbank all day and I was what I did, literally
Speaker 3: have six hours to kill in Burbank, and I just
Speaker 3: I have I had my car, like I could have
Speaker 3: driven home, but you know, I don't know, I just
Speaker 3: didn't feel like it, Like I was like sometimes when
Speaker 3: if I go to Santa Monica.
Speaker 2: Oh, you're not coming back, right.
Speaker 3: And I don't know. I mean, Burbank is really not
Speaker 3: the same. But I just stayed out here in Burbank,
Speaker 3: and so I went to see Megalopolis. Yes, and that
Speaker 3: has a lot of I would think we're canceled people
Speaker 3: in it.
Speaker 2: Oh, certainly. I mean, uh, what's his name?
Speaker 3: John Voight? John Voight, Shila above.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm so annoyed.
Speaker 3: You saw this movie I saw.
Speaker 2: I saw the first hour and I knew it was
Speaker 2: going to be horrible, and I wanted to keep watching.
Speaker 2: But I got a little sleepy.
Speaker 3: Oh I just go to sleep. You you left because
Speaker 3: you were getting sleepy. Yeah, I'll just sleep in it. Oh.
Speaker 3: I'm actually during the movie today, I was thinking, one
Speaker 3: day I'll write a memoir. It's going to be called
Speaker 3: sleeping at the movie. It's so I would encourage everybody,
Speaker 3: what is it, Get your AMC a list where you
Speaker 3: don't pay for each movie. Go in the middle of
Speaker 3: the day to see a film. It's so nicely air conditioned.
Speaker 3: You do need. I think you have to bring like
Speaker 3: a hoodie or an extra layer. Oh right, yeah, and
Speaker 3: then just let yourself sleep through the fucking marvels or.
Speaker 2: Feeling when your eyes start to get heavy and you
Speaker 2: can't fight it. I mean, there's nothing like that in
Speaker 2: the world.
Speaker 3: I think what it is is like through all your
Speaker 3: school years, you had to fight that. Oh interesting, And
Speaker 3: like I was just an Edmr Fringe and I watched
Speaker 3: a bunch of plays. When you're watching a play, especially
Speaker 3: if your friend is in the play and the venue
Speaker 3: only seats twenty people, when they can see you, you
Speaker 3: gotta stay awake. But in a movie you get that
Speaker 3: and you're like, no, I can I can just let
Speaker 3: it go.
Speaker 2: I'm free, I can just sleep through this. Yeah, that feeling.
Speaker 2: And recently I've been really treating myself to a little
Speaker 2: nap very late at night in front of the TV.
Speaker 2: Oh what time, you know, Like we'll get around, well,
Speaker 2: it'll be eleven thirty midnight, and I'll be like, I
Speaker 2: don't want.
Speaker 3: To be finishing as vocal cool down for the.
Speaker 2: Day, screaming, And I'll be sitting there and I know
Speaker 2: it's time to go to bed, but I think, well,
Speaker 2: maybe it feels so good to fall asleep here. So
Speaker 2: I'll sleep in about twenty minutes.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'll tell you that you're gonna hear a lot
Speaker 3: of my secrets. I can't have my husband listening to this.
Speaker 3: He knows this, but he'll be embarrassed. I say this
Speaker 3: out in public, which is that this is my if
Speaker 3: I ever get to buy that sixty million dollar house,
Speaker 3: you think about like what you would do? What would
Speaker 3: be the weird rich guide thing you do? So mine would.
Speaker 3: I'm genuine, but this will happen. I'm telling people now
Speaker 3: so that like, if there's a Rolling Stone profile of
Speaker 3: me in twenty years and they say, like, this is
Speaker 3: what happens in the house, they'd be like, yeah, I
Speaker 3: said that twenty years ago on several podcasts. I want
Speaker 3: to be able to fall asleep on the couch watching television. Okay,
Speaker 3: and I have like a live in assistant that is
Speaker 3: the build of the mountain from Game of Thrones.
Speaker 2: Okay, fantastic.
Speaker 3: He will come pick me up and bring me to bed.
Speaker 3: I think, in the grand schemer of things, that's not
Speaker 3: that scandalous a thing. But do you think it's weird?
Speaker 3: But you know how when you were a kid, you
Speaker 3: would fall a sleep in the car ride home, Oh
Speaker 3: the best?
Speaker 2: Then you were just to uber. I think that that
Speaker 2: should be an option on Uber. Carry me asleep over
Speaker 2: your shoulder to the front door or.
Speaker 3: All the way in all the way, you give them
Speaker 3: a key code for your August lock or whatever. The
Speaker 3: feeling of Like I see now when I see kids,
Speaker 3: like at the mall or something and they're sleeping on
Speaker 3: their parents' shoulder, I'm so envious of that child. I'm
Speaker 3: not envious of the world they've been born into. Yeah,
Speaker 3: the climate they.
Speaker 2: Have to breathe to take a lot of napps.
Speaker 3: But so, yeah, that is I'm being dead serious about it.
Speaker 3: I will definitely hire someone to do that. It will
Speaker 3: not be sexual in any way unless they won't, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean. Like, it's not a it's just
Speaker 3: it will be someone that needs to have the physical
Speaker 3: strength to do that.
Speaker 2: Right, right, And if they're incredibly good looking, that's just
Speaker 2: another you know, that's their problem.
Speaker 3: Isn't it everyone's problem, own problem.
Speaker 2: The entire house problem. Yeah, No, I support that. I
Speaker 2: think that that feeling of being asleep in the wrong
Speaker 2: place and then being carried.
Speaker 3: Oh, I don't have any other like weird celebrity show business.
Speaker 3: See things that I'm gonna want to do, like I'm
Speaker 3: not gonna have like an Epstein Island or a you
Speaker 3: know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Yet, Yeah, I mean, you get that money and you're
Speaker 2: gonna freak out right.
Speaker 3: I also say I'm never gonna have a shark tank
Speaker 3: with the Spanish villa half interior deckering style and then.
Speaker 2: With Jimmy Parkle confronting Tom Jones in front.
Speaker 3: Yes, I did do I did do a home concert.
Speaker 3: I will brag intentionally brag about this. I did a
Speaker 3: home show this year at Manny Patinkin's house.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's amazing, which was very fun.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's it was very cool to do a show.
Speaker 2: For him, and I bet he has a tasteful home.
Speaker 3: He does, Yeah, I mean he has a great house
Speaker 3: in Upstate New York. And it was really really lovely.
Speaker 2: And were there other performers on the show.
Speaker 3: No, it was just me doing my show from Ed
Speaker 3: Befrinch Last Amazing, which is which was filmed as a
Speaker 3: special this year that'll drop out now, but like that,
Speaker 3: doing the live version of that for him and people
Speaker 3: from around the neighborhood in Upstate New York where he lives,
Speaker 3: where my impversion was like, oh, it's kind of out
Speaker 3: there a little bit, so maybe y'all don't have too much,
Speaker 3: you know, like this is their way to see theater.
Speaker 3: And I said to one of them after I was like, no,
Speaker 3: we got a lot of stuff to do. I was like, okay,
Speaker 3: I thought I was special out here. But yeah, it
Speaker 3: was like in a little farmhouse that he has. I
Speaker 3: mean it was. It was obviously had to be very
Speaker 3: low tech, like there was no lights, like there was.
Speaker 2: Just like a light switch in a flashlight.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it was wild, but I mean it was
Speaker 3: very weird doing it.
Speaker 2: Did you stay at Mandy's house overnight?
Speaker 3: I did? Oh my god, that was really cool. And
Speaker 3: also it was funny because my husband is in musical.
Speaker 3: I'm in a musical theater. My husband's really in a
Speaker 3: musical computer. I don't know how much trivia that Jimmy
Speaker 3: could answer, but.
Speaker 2: Oh he could answer a lot, and I could answer almost.
Speaker 3: So I have not met anyone who knows more about
Speaker 3: it than my husband, and so obviously this was mind
Speaker 3: blowing that we were staying it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, of course.
Speaker 3: And then the first moment that we met him, he
Speaker 3: came in to fix like a screen door, you know,
Speaker 3: and he was just like complaining about the you know it,
Speaker 3: will come help me with this thing, like you know
Speaker 3: what I mean. It wasn't like a there was no
Speaker 3: ceremony to it whatever. It was just like he needed
Speaker 3: to fix this door and he was just like and
Speaker 3: so that was nice to not be like that whole dance.
Speaker 2: Wow, I'm so jealous.
Speaker 3: That was exciting.
Speaker 2: Well, is there anything before we play the game anything
Speaker 2: else we should say about I fly? What is the
Speaker 2: scariest thing physically?
Speaker 3: You've done the scariest thing physically I've done. I mean,
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people would be scared by
Speaker 3: playing rugby, which I've played for many years. Oh, that
Speaker 3: terrifies me, and it is scary. You do have to
Speaker 3: get over it. And I have stopped playing because.
Speaker 2: That's that's a rugby scar my arm playing rugby.
Speaker 3: WHOA, So that doesn't make it less carried.
Speaker 2: Did the bone come out of your arm?
Speaker 3: It did not. But but this is an interesting fact.
Speaker 3: I was holding the ball like this with my elbow
Speaker 3: bent in front of me, and there's two bones in
Speaker 3: your forearm here, and the other player his skull hit
Speaker 3: the outer bone, but the outer bone didn't break. Oh,
Speaker 3: so much force was transferred to my arm that the
Speaker 3: inner bone broke. Whoa, I thought that was interesting.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's fascinating.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And also I broke it into Mecula, California, Okay,
Speaker 3: and I don't know why, but I drove home by
Speaker 3: myself with a broken arm, with a broken arm, and
Speaker 3: then checked into like hunting in hospital and Pasadena to have.
Speaker 2: It like that's like a two hour drive.
Speaker 3: It was like ninety minutes. I think I was in chock.
Speaker 2: And did it? Were you in pain?
Speaker 3: I was in some it was it was like in
Speaker 3: pain if I moved it, but I was able to drive.
Speaker 3: I mean that must have been being in chock. But
Speaker 3: the thing is the game was still going lean. They
Speaker 3: were kind of like, oh, well, well we got to
Speaker 3: take care of yourself. Yeah. I mean there's an element
Speaker 3: to that. Other I don't know what other scary things
Speaker 3: I've done? What what what are the things do we
Speaker 3: categorize scary?
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think. I mean, like cliff diving, cliff diving,
Speaker 2: rock climbing a lot of heights or where you're moving quickly.
Speaker 3: I haven't done a lot of climbing things because I
Speaker 3: don't feel my wrists and arms are strong enough. Dude,
Speaker 3: like I did a bungee, not a zip line at
Speaker 3: a water.
Speaker 2: Park one okay, sure, but this.
Speaker 3: Was one where you hold on with your hands.
Speaker 2: Oh and you can just let go.
Speaker 3: Yeah, whoa. I lost my grip immediately, Like I went
Speaker 3: out and like one meter away from where you step out,
Speaker 3: I just dropped straight down because I couldn't, like for
Speaker 3: like presidential fitness.
Speaker 2: I could never do a pull up presidential fitness. Yeah,
Speaker 2: what a bizarre thing.
Speaker 3: The president really cared about.
Speaker 2: He wanted elementary schoolers to be ripped.
Speaker 3: I don't even know if they do that anymore.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder.
Speaker 3: I think it does date you if you're like, because
Speaker 3: it was like a mile and a half run, how
Speaker 3: many sit ups could you do and how many pull
Speaker 3: ups could you do?
Speaker 2: Right? And we were doing only a mile. I guess
Speaker 2: they didn't care about us as much.
Speaker 3: He was like, I want more into the sprinter type
Speaker 3: this year.
Speaker 2: This isn't a marathon anymore.
Speaker 3: I wonder which president stopped caring about that.
Speaker 2: I mean, if I had to guess some Clinton, maybe yeah. No,
Speaker 2: Clinton was my era and he was going for it. Oh,
Speaker 2: so I must.
Speaker 3: I don't know. You feel like you just petered out. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because I feel like the bushes would care.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like they've got the baseball bullshit going
Speaker 2: on or whatever. Yeah, so maybe it's still going.
Speaker 3: Let's just hope a yearly source of anxiety for Chill.
Speaker 3: And I think, yeah, Presidential fitness.
Speaker 2: Test that miles seemed like a million miles. It seemed
Speaker 2: truly un undoable physically. Yeah, and now I'm like sure,
Speaker 2: I mean it would be annoying, Well.
Speaker 3: We could have I think I don't know if we
Speaker 3: thought back then that like, oh I could just kind
Speaker 3: of walk it, right, I think now as adults you'd
Speaker 3: be like, ought be annoying, but like I could walk
Speaker 3: slash jog a mile if oh, very slowly, right, you know.
Speaker 3: But I think but also there was some kind of
Speaker 3: time pressure back then. It was like to pass the
Speaker 3: test you had to.
Speaker 2: Do under two hours.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and I think it would have been like
Speaker 3: under seven minutes or something that.
Speaker 2: Under seven can't possibly be true. Under probably ten. Oh
Speaker 2: seven's a good mile. No, I mean, it's like it's
Speaker 2: a decent.
Speaker 3: But the thing is you always had some kid in
Speaker 3: your class that ran them mile in like five minutes.
Speaker 2: Well, that person's a psychopath.
Speaker 3: When we break I'm going to look up with the
Speaker 3: historical mile standard for the presidential fitness testmentscause I don't
Speaker 3: think it's ten.
Speaker 2: No, I feel like it was under ten. Was like
Speaker 2: you want to shoot for under that? But five of
Speaker 2: course you're an incredible runner. Yeah, this is this is
Speaker 2: what's going to break us up.
Speaker 3: I just feel like ten it like a child should
Speaker 3: have more stamina than that.
Speaker 2: But my legs were probably each three. Yes, it's very difficult. Okay,
Speaker 2: well I think it's time. I cannot wait to do this.
Speaker 3: I yes, please let me know how.
Speaker 2: I really can't express you how excited I am about this.
Speaker 3: It's exciting. I think you have I think it's for
Speaker 3: two jumps or whatever. Okay, so I think unless you
Speaker 3: have some charm you can. I think you have to
Speaker 3: do both of them.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's okay like another person or show
Speaker 2: up another time.
Speaker 3: Who knows it's probably some minimum wage Oh yeah, kid.
Speaker 2: I remind myself of that every time I'm anywhere, Like
Speaker 2: this person hates they don't.
Speaker 3: Like the rules. I mean, also, do they care enough
Speaker 3: to make sure all the safety measures are in place?
Speaker 3: Probably not? Goodbye? I mean, do you think Jimmy would
Speaker 3: do that.
Speaker 2: No way, he won't ride Space Mountain really. Oh, going
Speaker 2: to Disneyland with him not huge. But I enjoy roller
Speaker 2: coasters and stuff, so if if it were just us
Speaker 2: at Disneyland, it would be a nightmare. So we always
Speaker 2: have to bring other people who.
Speaker 3: So that someone goes on them with you, yea, and
Speaker 3: someone else talks with.
Speaker 2: Him, right, I think the most scary he'll go on
Speaker 2: Indiana Jones, which is very jerky and scary.
Speaker 3: Enough jerky to steal all those antiques. Yeah, it's very
Speaker 3: rude of leave them in their countries.
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly.
Speaker 3: No, that is actually it has a back and forth
Speaker 3: nature that's tough on the back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it feels unhealthy. But I love any roller coaster mostly. Oh,
Speaker 2: I don't like them as long as they don't like
Speaker 2: I get dizzy, Like.
Speaker 3: I don't I will. I don't think I'll ever go
Speaker 3: in that Guardian to the Galaxy, Oh, I mean or whatever.
Speaker 2: They they ruined. They ruined the.
Speaker 3: Vibe with the Guardians.
Speaker 2: Yes, it was a perfect ride. Yeah, it was actually spooky,
Speaker 2: and now it's like this weird thing where you listen
Speaker 2: to Van Halen. I mean it's still a fun sensation.
Speaker 2: But before it felt like you were among ghosts. It
Speaker 2: was very fun. Marvel Universe has ruined it my entire life.
Speaker 2: What am I talking about? Let's play a game. I
Speaker 2: need a number between one and ten from you.
Speaker 3: Eight.
Speaker 2: Okay, I have to do some light calculating. So right
Speaker 2: now you can promote, you can recommend, do whatever you want.
Speaker 3: Well, my special Chris Grace Ascot Johansson is now available
Speaker 3: on dropout dot tv, that is its own streaming service.
Speaker 3: You can sign up for the three day free trial
Speaker 3: and watch the special. But I think I'll actually find
Speaker 3: a lot of fun stuff on dropout to watch. And
Speaker 3: then my new show, it's called Sardines. I think I'm
Speaker 3: doing it at the Illsion here in Los Angeles. Have
Speaker 3: not settled the dates yet, but it will be in November,
Speaker 3: I believe, and then next year I'll be in Wisconsin
Speaker 3: in January, Portland Center Stage in May and June, and
Speaker 3: this is all doing Scarlett Rohnson, and then in July
Speaker 3: of twenty twenty five, I'll be at the Kennedy Center. Oh,
Speaker 3: Chris Grace is Scarlet Jronhansson.
Speaker 2: That's amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it'll be really fun, so exciting. I'm very excited.
Speaker 3: It feels very That's the one when I tell like
Speaker 3: people in my family, I'm like, well, I'm doing the
Speaker 3: Kennedy Center, and they're like, oh, you must actually be
Speaker 3: good at this. Right finally proof, Well, like I just
Speaker 3: shot over the in the spring, I was in a
Speaker 3: Shonda Rhymes Netflix show. And the fact that now if
Speaker 3: I say Shonda Rymes are like ooh, I mean.
Speaker 2: It's getting harder and harder in the television business to
Speaker 2: be impressive to anyone because no one's heard of any show.
Speaker 2: So these few remaining things that everyone's heard of, Yes,
Speaker 2: that's the goal.
Speaker 3: My family isn't like, ooh do plus brothers? Yes, I am,
Speaker 3: I am. You know I love that.
Speaker 2: But right right, my parents have been I mean, they're
Speaker 2: bored before plus.
Speaker 3: We're gonna play non plus, We're.
Speaker 2: Gonna play a game called Gift or a Curse. Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm going to name three things. You're gonna tell me
Speaker 2: if there are a gift or a curse and why,
Speaker 2: and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong
Speaker 2: because there are correct answers and you can lose the game.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, and each individually is a gift or a curse?
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: Number one this is from a listener named Andrew. Andrew
Speaker 2: suggested gift or a curse, pre installed tombstones that have
Speaker 2: your birth year but an empty death year.
Speaker 3: I mean, I think this is like literally a curse,
Speaker 3: Like this is literally asking for it, you know, I mean,
Speaker 3: this is this is I don't think there could be
Speaker 3: a stronger invitation to death then going like establishing your tombstone.
Speaker 3: And so I think it's actually like genuinely a curse
Speaker 3: and also presumptuous of you to decide the design of
Speaker 3: your tombstone. That is clearly something left to others. Controlling behavior,
Speaker 3: very controlling. Well, you're wrong.
Speaker 2: This is a gift in every possible way. I love
Speaker 2: these things. First of all, I'm trying to get into
Speaker 2: the mind of the person that's doing it. They're saying
Speaker 2: with their family, you don't get to be involved with this.
Speaker 2: I get to choose the tomb soon. And it's probably
Speaker 2: a little spooky experience where you're like, I'm looking at
Speaker 2: this thing that's gonna be above my body. Yes, then
Speaker 2: they install it in the graveyard or I think we
Speaker 2: should only call cemetery's graveyards. Let's get rid of the
Speaker 2: word cemetery. Graveyards are Morphis.
Speaker 3: There's not a distinction.
Speaker 2: No, I think it's Oh, I wonder, is I wonder
Speaker 2: if there's like a fine line between the two cemetery
Speaker 2: does seem.
Speaker 3: Fewed between the American Graveyard Association and the National Cemetery Families.
Speaker 3: Mister graveyard, it's like Adidas and Puma.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. No, they're installing it in the graveyard, and
Speaker 2: now anyone that passes by is getting this weird feeling
Speaker 2: of like, oh, what is the future hold for me?
Speaker 2: A nice reminder of mortality and the mystery of mortality.
Speaker 3: Don't they get that from the other two, know.
Speaker 2: Because everybody else are like, well, those are just skeletons.
Speaker 2: But this thing, there's the fog of the future in
Speaker 2: this person's life, Okay. And I love that feeling.
Speaker 3: I love that that is the one that tips them
Speaker 3: over into thinking about mortality as they walk through a graveyard.
Speaker 3: I think I would only be on board with doing
Speaker 3: this if you get the ones that have like video
Speaker 3: clips installed. It has to be your whatever IMDb thinks
Speaker 3: you're real is, so it has to be on there
Speaker 3: because then you can still you can still book absolutely
Speaker 3: booked before the last you know, think of it this way.
Speaker 3: Bridger and I made this up. I came up with this.
Speaker 3: You're living in the dash. You can still book when
Speaker 3: you're in the dash.
Speaker 2: That's what casting directors say. Yeah, you still have the dash, right.
Speaker 3: That song is about that you can still get.
Speaker 2: Cast, and casting directors are constantly pouring over graveyards to
Speaker 2: make sure who's alive and who's dead.
Speaker 3: Also, casters are constantly thinking about how actors can get
Speaker 3: more cast, like they that we are the first people
Speaker 3: on their minds.
Speaker 2: Okay, well you got one wrong. Okay, that's got a sting,
Speaker 2: but we'll move on here. Number two. This is from
Speaker 2: someone named brendan gift or a curse sleeping with socks on.
Speaker 3: I mean, this is not for me. I don't like it,
Speaker 3: so I think I'll have I don't like. I almost
Speaker 3: want to say that the option is potentially a gift,
Speaker 3: but I would never do it. So I guess I'm
Speaker 3: pro choice. This is the only thing I'm pro choice about.
Speaker 2: You've been very clear about it.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's my special is like a total like a
Speaker 3: pro life special. I'm gonna say that. I Oh god,
Speaker 3: I don't know. I just I'm gonna say it's a
Speaker 3: curse because I don't like it, like I actually don't
Speaker 3: like it annoys me. So the only time it's a
Speaker 3: gift if it is of like you your heat broke
Speaker 3: and then you are living old style with like a
Speaker 3: nightgown and like one of those long sleeping caps. Then
Speaker 3: you gotta have the socks for me personally, there's a curse.
Speaker 2: Another one wrong, horrifying you, and you really were getting
Speaker 2: close to saying it was a gift, and then you
Speaker 2: describe this beautiful sleeping outfit that should have really sent
Speaker 2: you in the right direction. The cap, the nightgown, Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's my nightly uniform.
Speaker 3: And when you have a little feather that goes up
Speaker 3: in the air.
Speaker 2: This is no I love. Look. It depends on the
Speaker 2: time of the year, but yes, during the winter, even
Speaker 2: I've got the heat on, I want the socks on
Speaker 2: my feet.
Speaker 3: So coy, thinner lad than I bet we have the
Speaker 3: same shape feet. I'm gonna bet that in Vegas when
Speaker 3: I'm there, odds are. I do love not to be
Speaker 3: too La centric, but I love in La when it
Speaker 3: starts getting cold at night and you get to put
Speaker 3: on your little sweater. Oh so nice. So I guess
Speaker 3: socks are like sweaters for your feet. I mean, of
Speaker 3: course I did recently, like two days ago, this podcast
Speaker 3: just gonna revealed that I have a shopping problem, I
Speaker 3: which I do. I bought a not a snuggie, but
Speaker 3: like an oversize Waterburger branded.
Speaker 2: What I've never heard of this?
Speaker 3: What? No, have you been to Texas? No?
Speaker 2: Or no, I've been to Austin, then there, what about?
Speaker 3: I grew up in Houston, so Waterburger is like a
Speaker 3: famous burger chain there. I had a lot of fun merch.
Speaker 3: Gotta say, beloved burger chain. You know, similar feelings to
Speaker 3: the way that we feel about in and out.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I never heard of this. A lot of Hamburgers.
Speaker 2: I'm in the scene.
Speaker 3: Yet. Anyway, I bought a snuggie type thing that is
Speaker 3: extremely warm, and it's the only size that comes in
Speaker 3: is five X. So it's meant for like, you know,
Speaker 3: the oversized thing. You you get in on the couch
Speaker 3: and you know, and you watch It's a wonderful life
Speaker 3: or whatever.
Speaker 2: I mean, this is right up my alley.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so it's so I understand why you're the
Speaker 3: socks is a gift.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, okay, so you've gotten zero points so far
Speaker 2: and that sucks for everybody. Ah, this is your final chance.
Speaker 2: This is from a listener named Beth, and Beth suggested
Speaker 2: gift to a curse peeling a potato with a knife
Speaker 2: instead of a peeler.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, but this is absolutely a curse that is insane.
Speaker 3: What do you on PK duty in the army? Like,
Speaker 3: what are you?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 3: You've been You're in the corner and over a ten
Speaker 3: bucket because you pissed off the sergeant somehow, and you're
Speaker 3: in like a Beetle Bailey cartoon Like, uh no, potato
Speaker 3: peeler for sure, because first of all, you're always taught
Speaker 3: as a kid to cut away from you. Sure right, yes,
Speaker 3: every time on TV when people peel things with a knife,
Speaker 3: like an apple or potato, they're always cutting it towards themselves.
Speaker 3: They're always doing this rotake. Just it does sounds fay.
Speaker 2: I mean when you watch, it's like that looks satisfying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the is no way. I mean, first of all,
Speaker 3: eat the skin. It's got lots of vitamins. Sure. Also,
Speaker 3: we invented potato vegetable potato pillars for a reason. Don't
Speaker 3: deny the validity of that person's contribution to the world.
Speaker 3: I can argue against it from the Alton Brown school
Speaker 3: of you should never have devices that only do one
Speaker 3: thing in your kitchen. But whatever, Alton Brown's time is over,
Speaker 3: do you get canceled?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: I just haven't heard from Alton Brown in what five years?
Speaker 2: So, like, right, I haven't either, Alton reach out?
Speaker 3: Yeah, come on, Alton?
Speaker 2: Ah? Well, I mean what I mean? What is there
Speaker 2: to say at this point, Chris, You've lost the game completely.
Speaker 2: It's a gift, Oh my god, because it's cool as hell.
Speaker 2: What could easily be cooler than peeling a potato with
Speaker 2: a knife. You do that off the back of a motorcycle.
Speaker 2: You've got a cigarette in your mouth. There's there's nothing cooler.
Speaker 3: I don't buy this answer coming from Bridger Wineger.
Speaker 2: What are you talking about?
Speaker 3: The Sultan of Cool? The movie Easy Rider was based
Speaker 3: on Bridger Winderger's young life just riding two motorcycles across
Speaker 3: the American heartland.
Speaker 2: I'm in a leather vest right.
Speaker 3: Now, potatoes throwing them into a pot for a midnight campfire.
Speaker 2: Stew, I don't know what your problem is with cowboys,
Speaker 2: bikers and badasses.
Speaker 3: But that's your lifestyle.
Speaker 2: But you lost the game in the most horrifying way.
Speaker 3: Wow, how many people have gone zero for three?
Speaker 2: It's very a very small group. I mean, I think
Speaker 2: smaller than even I think there are more winners of
Speaker 2: all three for three. Yeah, so you're in a very
Speaker 2: elite group. Well there you go, although you're making it
Speaker 2: less elite by joining it. Yes, it's like getting bigger
Speaker 2: and that's a shame.
Speaker 3: That's what my mom said.
Speaker 2: Your mother, I hope she's listening.
Speaker 3: From the grave. I mean her, she's got both dates
Speaker 3: on her grave stones. Put it that way.
Speaker 2: I'm so soon. Okay, moving on. This is the final
Speaker 2: segment of the podcast. It's called I Said No Emails.
Speaker 2: People are writing into I Said No Gifts at gmail
Speaker 2: dot com to beg for answers to all sorts of
Speaker 2: life problems.
Speaker 3: I see advice, advice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all sorts of advice. Sometimes it's about gifts. But
Speaker 2: I encourage them to just bring their problems to me. Wow,
Speaker 2: because I know what's best. Okay, and my guest always
Speaker 2: knows what's best.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: So we helpe me answer a question. Sure, Okay, this
Speaker 2: is dear bridger and presumably delightful guest presumed correctly. My
Speaker 2: cousin is getting married soon, and she's being very traditional
Speaker 2: about the whole thing. People are always writing in and
Speaker 2: just immediately throwing family members under the boss on this
Speaker 2: podcast RSVP.
Speaker 3: Because there's a little shade in there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my god, there's a lot traditionally. Exactly when
Speaker 2: I RSVP to her wedding for my fiance and I
Speaker 2: I bought a set of bowls from her, quickly selling
Speaker 2: out gift registry as someone does Taylor Swift concert, she
Speaker 2: invited me to her bridle shower, an event I have
Speaker 2: never known anyone else my age to actually have. Oh
Speaker 2: my god, she's really going after this person. And I
Speaker 2: of course didn't go because I'm not going to travel
Speaker 2: three hours to New Jersey for that. My mother, however,
Speaker 2: did attend the bridle shower.
Speaker 3: Wait, wait, is this is her sister?
Speaker 2: This is her cousin cousin?
Speaker 3: Okay, still three hours is not that long a drive.
Speaker 2: You drove two with a broken arm, that's right. My mother, however,
Speaker 2: did attend the bridle shower. She brought a shower gift
Speaker 2: silverware on behalf of the whole immediate family. Okay, it
Speaker 2: seems like a small thing for the whole immediate family.
Speaker 2: But that's another story set. Yeah, it's where we buy
Speaker 2: it from.
Speaker 3: I recently was research genuine sterling silver. Oh for the home.
Speaker 2: You do have a major shot. I'm concerned.
Speaker 3: I didn't buy anything. It's so expensive.
Speaker 2: How much is it?
Speaker 3: I mean, I forget his name. He's an Indian actor
Speaker 3: that was in Mean Girls, the movie. He has a
Speaker 3: YouTube channel about living well and he suggests buying a
Speaker 3: single piece at a time. Oh, and having just kind
Speaker 3: of a mismatched said, I'd find it charming, and that's
Speaker 3: probably the only way I could get into this hobby.
Speaker 2: That would drive me crazy.
Speaker 3: But one fork is like seventy five dollars.
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, that would I'd lose
Speaker 2: my mind.
Speaker 3: Anyway. If the mother brought a whole set of silver, I.
Speaker 2: Mean that is could be thousands of dollars.
Speaker 3: So that was on behalf of the entire mother and
Speaker 3: her whole unit. Yes, okay, got it.
Speaker 2: At the bridle shower, there was an enormous pile of
Speaker 2: gifts that my aunt, the bride's mother had wrapped herself
Speaker 2: on behalf of other people, excuse me right? Included in
Speaker 2: this pile were the bulls I had purchased for her
Speaker 2: as a wedding gift, with absolutely no indication they were
Speaker 2: for the shower. There were all also several other gifts
Speaker 2: from the registry from other family members of mine who
Speaker 2: were not in attendance. Clearly my aunt brought any gift
Speaker 2: sent from the registry by people who were invited to
Speaker 2: the shower. You should know that my aunt is a
Speaker 2: very volatile person with anger problems. What does that have
Speaker 2: to do with any of this? Am I correct that
Speaker 2: this is completely insane? Do I need to buy another
Speaker 2: wedding gift? Do I need to write that I hope
Speaker 2: she likes her wedding gift of bulls in a card?
Speaker 2: Do I run away forever and never speak to these
Speaker 2: people again? What do I say to them? Please help?
Speaker 2: And they didn't even sign their name as an anonymous
Speaker 2: person because they're just attacking the entire family here.
Speaker 3: And I'm so curious why the aunt got the presence
Speaker 3: to begin with. Maybe they live near the or live
Speaker 3: with the interesting so, because let's say they're on Amazon
Speaker 3: doing a registry right, and you're just saying, like, give
Speaker 3: me these bulls chip them off to the couple, right right? Also,
Speaker 3: do you when you I mean we registered an ami?
Speaker 3: I can't remember. Were we getting the are you married? No?
Speaker 3: When is it going to happen?
Speaker 2: I mean if I can get some silverware out of it?
Speaker 3: I can't remember if you start getting the gifts as
Speaker 3: soon as people buy them, or if they're sort of
Speaker 3: held to a certain I think you get them as
Speaker 3: they the purchased. Okay, So I think in the this
Speaker 3: is my guess. I could be wrong. I think in
Speaker 3: the weeks and months leading up you start. I mean
Speaker 3: obviously do, because this ant had it before the wedding. Right,
Speaker 3: So how did the ant get hold of all these gifts?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 2: Maybe she has a really big porch, yeah.
Speaker 3: Or a pork pirate? She said the aunt was volatile.
Speaker 3: Pirates are volatile. Well, I think you would be okay
Speaker 3: not getting another gift.
Speaker 2: She clearly doesn't have a very good relationship with this person.
Speaker 2: She's writing emails about her to podcasts. Yeah, she doesn't care.
Speaker 1: You.
Speaker 3: Also, have you heard the thing that you have a
Speaker 3: year to give someone present after the wedding?
Speaker 2: No? I shouldn't have heard that, because now.
Speaker 3: That's going to that is. The thing that gets said
Speaker 3: is that you actually don't have to get a present
Speaker 3: in by the wedding date.
Speaker 2: You can just let it haunt you for a year.
Speaker 3: For a year, you could, like the registry will still
Speaker 3: be open, interesting, you can you can get in laid
Speaker 3: on it, so she could kind of ride it out
Speaker 3: and see if there's any reaction and then maybe throwing
Speaker 3: another little custer, you know, because every registry has got
Speaker 3: some real cheap items.
Speaker 2: Oh look, I'm doing sort of lowest to highest. I
Speaker 2: don't care who you are, right.
Speaker 3: I always think that's funny when the when the thing
Speaker 3: that you bought was like one of eight steak knives,
Speaker 3: and then now they just have.
Speaker 2: One to peel potato.
Speaker 3: That's right. It looks so cool. If you're listening only
Speaker 3: on audio, I can't describe how cool bred it looks.
Speaker 2: I have four cigarettes in my mouth right now.
Speaker 3: It's so intimidating.
Speaker 2: I'm kind of the original cool guy. Uh No, I
Speaker 2: think I agree, And I almost think, why bother with
Speaker 2: this cousin? Get rid of them.
Speaker 3: That's such an escalation.
Speaker 2: Well, this person asked for it, But do you think
Speaker 2: they still do the same.
Speaker 3: They're still going to the Oh no, there are little
Speaker 3: trepidations about going to the wedding.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do I need to?
Speaker 3: No, that's fine. You know why because there's even people
Speaker 3: that come to the wedding and bring they still physically
Speaker 3: bring the gift. That day, there'll be a table, and
Speaker 3: so the bride will have no idea that you will
Speaker 3: have no way to even think that you've shirked your
Speaker 3: responsibility until three hundred and sixty six days later. Right,
Speaker 3: So at that point you're probably not even talking to
Speaker 3: his cousin anymore.
Speaker 2: No, it's over.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't wory about it.
Speaker 2: Just go and enjoy the And also, you're setting yourself
Speaker 2: up to be to have the real high ground when
Speaker 2: the cousin confronts you and you say, actually, I did
Speaker 2: send you a wedding gift. This is your angry mom's fault.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that's I think you want to avoid
Speaker 3: that completely, especially since they said that she was molotile.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, it depends on the day you want
Speaker 2: to be dealing with a screaming ant.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 3: If you and Jimmy ever get married, the podcast audience
Speaker 3: is gonna hop on that registry because it's so on
Speaker 3: brand for the podcast.
Speaker 2: Now you're really selling me on the idea of marriage.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean this is the reason, right, there's two
Speaker 3: reasons why. Well, one is now it just fits the
Speaker 3: theme so perfectly because you'll say I said there. It'll
Speaker 3: be like there'd be a special sub series called I
Speaker 3: said there's no registry, and then you'll surreptitiously say the
Speaker 3: Amazon link at the end of every episode, and your fans,
Speaker 3: I think, will instantly go and buy.
Speaker 2: All those Okay, I'm considering marriage.
Speaker 3: These are the two big reasons. That's one and the
Speaker 3: other one this is genuine. The other reason to get
Speaker 3: married is it's so weird. I'm sure people tell you
Speaker 3: this all the time, but like it is very weird
Speaker 3: that you make this public decoration of the relationship and
Speaker 3: then the next time you have a big fight, it'll
Speaker 3: be like, oh, we just like went through that whole thing,
Speaker 3: and there is like social pressure to be like we
Speaker 3: made a commitment, Like now we just we made a
Speaker 3: commitment to those hundred people too.
Speaker 2: Right, they're counting on us to be their favorite characters.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's an interesting like village Uh peer pressure.
Speaker 3: Oh that does does appeal to you.
Speaker 2: No, the smallest fight, I say I'll leave, I'll walk
Speaker 2: out the door. This thing means nothing to me.
Speaker 3: I'm sure you don't have dramatic fights at all. Oh,
Speaker 3: we have dramatic I think anybody. Eric and I are
Speaker 3: both have a background coming from the theater. So our
Speaker 3: fights are are theatrical.
Speaker 2: Albums are theatrical because Jim is a theatrical person and
Speaker 2: I'm someone who buries their feelings until the absolute worst
Speaker 2: moment and then they all come out. So it's a
Speaker 2: it's a combination. Yes, but we're all safe, that's right,
Speaker 2: and you know we're doing fine. But did we answer
Speaker 2: the question?
Speaker 3: I think lay low, Okay, let it, let it ride,
Speaker 3: and just go and have a good time at the wedding.
Speaker 3: And I think you'll be fine. That's my I guess.
Speaker 3: I think maybe look into your unresolved issues where you
Speaker 3: judge everyone. I know some very strong opinions about people
Speaker 3: in your family.
Speaker 2: Well, take a ride to New Jersey.
Speaker 3: Well that I actually do think if you're I don't
Speaker 3: think bridle shower is like mid tier obligation. But three
Speaker 3: hours is also not that long. No, it's a little trip,
Speaker 3: like three hours. If she's in New Jersey, three hours
Speaker 3: from like three hours from where they are in New Jersey.
Speaker 3: You could also still be New Jersey.
Speaker 2: That's true, you know, Yeah, where is this person coming
Speaker 2: from that it's three hours to New Jersey.
Speaker 3: I mean they could be coming from the from Greenwich
Speaker 3: Village and it's two hours to get to the Hollandic
Speaker 3: you know. So, I mean, you know what, I think,
Speaker 3: get some clarity for yourself on how you really feel
Speaker 3: about these people. Because if you don't want to drive
Speaker 3: three hours to go to the bridle shower, like maybe
Speaker 3: this whole maybe just go to this wedding and then
Speaker 3: just cut him.
Speaker 2: Off, cut him off for good. I support that. I mean,
Speaker 2: this podcast is about yes, change your number, change your name. Wow,
Speaker 2: we answered it perfectly perfect, Chris. I mean, You've given
Speaker 2: me such a thoughtful, beautiful gift. I'm thrilled. I mean,
Speaker 2: this is such a rare moment on this podcast.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited to hear how this goes. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: maybe they have a thing where they like shoot a
Speaker 3: video of it. Oh and that could be some bonus content.
Speaker 2: I can at least drag thee there to film me. Yeah,
Speaker 2: some boord.
Speaker 3: French Because you said, Jim wouldn't do it.
Speaker 2: Well, he's in New York.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, Oh you mean you're doing this like soon?
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course. This is what happened the next year, stood.
Speaker 3: The open until nine tonight. Just head over there. That's
Speaker 3: admirable because a lot of times I get a gift
Speaker 3: voucher like this and it just sits.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, of course, not this one. This is the
Speaker 2: thrill of a lifetime.
Speaker 3: Excellent.
Speaker 2: Well, thank you for being here. I've had such a
Speaker 2: great time. It's been such a blast listener. The podcast
Speaker 2: is over. Hopefully you've learned something or taken something away
Speaker 2: to make your life more meaningful. The show is over.
Speaker 2: Get going, I love you, goodbye. I said No Gifts
Speaker 2: is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear
Speaker 2: friend Analise Nelson, and it's beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday.
Speaker 2: And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Kottner.
Speaker 2: The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle
Speaker 2: worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram
Speaker 2: at I said no Gifts, I don't want to hear
Speaker 2: any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of
Speaker 2: all these gorgeous gifts. I'm getting. And don't you want
Speaker 2: to see pictures of the gifts I invit?
Speaker 3: Did you hear?
Speaker 1: Thun? A man myself perfectly clear? But you're I guessed Tom.
Speaker 1: You gotta come to me empty, And I said, no, guest,
Speaker 1: your presence is presents enough. I already had too much stuff,
Speaker 1: So how do you dare to surbey me?