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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,

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Speaker 2: and speaker.

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Speaker 3: And this is Sarah Hartunger. I'm a mother of three,

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Speaker 3: a practicing physician and blogger. On the side, we are

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Speaker 3: two working parents who love our careers and our families.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 2: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,

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Speaker 2: and time for fun. From figuring out childcare to mapping

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Speaker 2: out long term career goals. We want you to get

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Speaker 2: the most out of life.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. In

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Speaker 4: this episode, I am going to be interviewing Amy Bouschatz,

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Speaker 4: who is going to talk about She is an editor

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Speaker 4: at military dot Com. She is the mother of two

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Speaker 4: teen plus tween boys. She is also going to talk

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Speaker 4: about being a military spouse in the various issues that

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Speaker 4: have been involved in building a career while doing that. Because, Sarah, boy,

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Speaker 4: that is the more I think people always thank veterans

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Speaker 4: for their service, Like we should totally be thanking the

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Speaker 4: families of veterans and current military people for their service because,

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Speaker 4: oh my goodness, like what they go.

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Speaker 3: Through one hundred percent from the moving to the unpredictability

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Speaker 3: to the risk inherent in the professions.

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Speaker 4: It's a lot and so.

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Speaker 3: You're right, we should be more appreciative while it's happening.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, you know, so distinct challenges. I mean, obviously

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Speaker 4: everyone knows there are many challenges with military life and

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Speaker 4: having a family member in the military. But from the

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Speaker 4: perspective of this podcast, I mean, if you are the

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Speaker 4: spouse of a military member, for instance, there are a

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Speaker 4: lot of challenges with building your career. As Sarah said,

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Speaker 4: there's a lot of frequent moves. You know, you're often

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Speaker 4: going to be parenting solo, sometimes for extended periods of time.

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Speaker 4: The Pentagon published some research a couple of years ago

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Speaker 4: looking at underemployment among military spouses and just that there

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Speaker 4: was a considerable wage gap between military spouses and people

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Speaker 4: with comparable credentials in the civilian world. And it's again

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Speaker 4: because of people are moving frequently, so they're having to

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Speaker 4: change jobs frequently. They're not getting the kind of experience

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Speaker 4: some unfortunately, some employers were not taking their resume seriously

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Speaker 4: because of that. The interesting thing is some of that

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Speaker 4: has started to shift because of the acceptance of virtual work,

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Speaker 4: which is just like one of those cool developments that

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Speaker 4: there's this whole pool of employee is that a smart

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Speaker 4: employer would have been all over anyway. You know, if

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Speaker 4: like you could do the job virtually, that would be

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Speaker 4: a great pool to hire from. But you know, people

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Speaker 4: had this block until COVID, and it's like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 4: we could hire these people, and it's really fascinating to me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking, was a like,

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Speaker 3: remote makes so much sense for something in that position,

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Speaker 3: because there's too much uncertainty if you don't know where

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Speaker 3: you're going to be in six months or two years

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Speaker 3: or whatever exactly.

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Speaker 4: But Amy's gonna talk a little bit about that. She's

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Speaker 4: also going to talk about her exciting habit of going outside.

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Speaker 4: She lives in Alaska these days, and some folks have

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Speaker 4: read about Amy in Tranquility by Tuesday that she has

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Speaker 4: been going outside for twenty minutes a day since I

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Speaker 4: think twenty seventeen or so, and this includes on some

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Speaker 4: pretty fantastic weather days, as you can imagine in Alaska,

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Speaker 4: which she is going to talk about. There's some interesting

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Speaker 4: things that happen in the cold. Just tune into this

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Speaker 4: episode and listen and you'll enjoy that. But anyway, Sarah's

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Speaker 4: making a face at me.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited if.

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Speaker 4: Here are this one.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we have other challenges, but now this is super exciting.

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Speaker 3: And since I am going to Alaska, maybe I'll like

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Speaker 3: save this one and listen.

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Speaker 1: Listen to that.

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Speaker 4: All right, well, I'll be right back with Amy Boushots. Well,

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Speaker 4: Sarah and I are delighted to welcome Amy Bouchhots to

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Speaker 4: the program. So Amy, can you introduce yourself to our listeners?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Well, first of all, thank you so much for

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Speaker 1: having me. I am such a fan of your podcast.

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Speaker 1: So I'm Amy Bouschatz. I am a reporter and editor

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Speaker 1: and outside enthusiast based in Alaska. We've been here since

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Speaker 1: about twenty sixteen, so I'm not from Alaska, but we

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Speaker 1: moved up here in twenty sixteen because it's where we

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Speaker 1: wanted to live as part of our work life. Best

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Speaker 1: of both worlds, I guess you could say balance.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and you have two sons, correct?

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Speaker 1: I do. I have two sons. They are eleven and fourteen.

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Speaker 1: Now you know that age where your kid is suddenly

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Speaker 1: very tall, that's where we're at with my fourteen year old.

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Speaker 1: He is officially the family Giant, and my husband is

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Speaker 1: a member of the Alaska Army National Guard. We actually

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Speaker 1: moved up here when we were getting out of the

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Speaker 1: active duty Army, which he had been in for about

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Speaker 1: eleven years.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so you had had the experience of being married

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Speaker 4: to somebody and then raising children with somebody who was

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Speaker 4: actively serving in the military. I wonder if you can

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Speaker 4: talk just a little bit about the practicalities of it

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Speaker 4: for our listeners who aren't familiar with that. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, So what it looks like is a lot of

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Speaker 1: solo parenting, solo household running. Of course, this is different

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Speaker 1: than being a single parent because you do have the

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Speaker 1: support of that partner on the periphery, and he or

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Speaker 1: she is very in and out when you're in a

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Speaker 1: military family. But for us, a lot of that was

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Speaker 1: out and that's still actually true with the National Guard

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Speaker 1: as well in a lot of ways, although it tends

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Speaker 1: to be slightly more predictable. So how that looks on

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Speaker 1: a day to day basis is you are it as

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Speaker 1: far as solo parenting goes, and then your partner is

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Speaker 1: sort of disrupting your life pattern. I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: say it is worse than single parenting. It is certainly

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Speaker 1: different because you have to be willing to pivot to

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Speaker 1: the needs of a partner who is sort of not

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Speaker 1: predictably around and then all of a sudden around a

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Speaker 1: lot and expecting to really be an integral part of

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Speaker 1: your family when you just now got used to him

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Speaker 1: not being.

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Speaker 4: There because he how much was he gone?

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Speaker 2: Then?

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Speaker 4: I mean, like where did he go? For him?

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Speaker 1: So in two thousand and nine, he deployed for about

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Speaker 1: nine months, and our son was a little guy, our

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Speaker 1: first son was a little guy who was just a baby,

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Speaker 1: actually five weeks old when Luke originally deployed. And then

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Speaker 1: after that it looked like lots of training exercises. So

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Speaker 1: even when they's stateside, the military member is going off

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Speaker 1: and doing four weeks here, five weeks there, two nights there,

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Speaker 1: three weeks in the field. It's just a constant parade

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Speaker 1: of in and out for these different training exercises, which

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Speaker 1: are a necessary part of getting ready to do your

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Speaker 1: military service or be an expert in that stuff, but

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Speaker 1: can be really difficult on the family. And then on

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Speaker 1: top of that looks like unpredictable long hours, So this

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Speaker 1: could be oh, you know, I'm going to you know,

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Speaker 1: pt to the work armies, working out at six am,

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Speaker 1: and I'll be home at five pm. But then it's

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Speaker 1: never five pm. It's more like ten pm or eleven pm,

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Speaker 1: or sometimes I'm back at two am. And it's the

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Speaker 1: unpredictable nature of it that really is the load on

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Speaker 1: the family.

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Speaker 4: And so that clearly, I mean, obviously there's the challenges

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Speaker 4: with raising children this way too, but building a career

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Speaker 4: as well as being very complicated, and you've managed to

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Speaker 4: do so. So I wonder if you could talk a

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Speaker 4: little bit about how you did that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely, So I was a journalist, you know, after

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Speaker 1: college and sort of living the life and Washington, d C.

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Speaker 1: Working really hard as an intern and getting into journalism,

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Speaker 1: which is sort of one of the ways you break

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Speaker 1: into that industry. And then left my career there to

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Speaker 1: follow him to Washington State where we lived, and I

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Speaker 1: could not find a job in journalism, and at least

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Speaker 1: not in the traditional way I wanted to, and so

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Speaker 1: I did that thing you do where you work at

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Speaker 1: a coffee shop for a while and just sort of

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Speaker 1: make it work.

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Speaker 4: Well.

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Speaker 1: After our son was born, I applied for a fellowship

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Speaker 1: that I had a bunch of friends who had won

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Speaker 1: a journalism fellowship, and actually that's how you and I

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Speaker 1: met was through this fellowship program. And so I won

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Speaker 1: the fellowship and was able to get back into journalism

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Speaker 1: that way. But really it's just a result of networking.

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Speaker 1: The way I got my job where I've now been

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Speaker 1: about thirteen years. I reconnected with a former colleague who

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Speaker 1: had won the fellowship, and he cold called me at

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Speaker 1: one point and offered me a role here where I

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Speaker 1: am a military dot com right now. So that was

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Speaker 1: beautiful synchronicity that all of those things worked out. But

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Speaker 1: because I was in a dot com job, I was

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Speaker 1: able to really grow and shape this over time to

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Speaker 1: be what I wanted and what I needed it to be,

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Speaker 1: and just sort of grow my role there as I

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Speaker 1: had the bandwidth to do and as the organization had means. However,

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Speaker 1: so that I mean, that sounds great, right, like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you work remote, must be so easy. Well, we all

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Speaker 1: know in a post twenty twenty world that working remote

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Speaker 1: takes a lot of finesse, It takes a lot of practice,

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Speaker 1: takes a lot of being willing to enable to pivot

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Speaker 1: your schedule to what you need. When I had small kids,

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Speaker 1: my job was able to accommodate me having a different

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Speaker 1: shift balance. So I was getting up at five in

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Speaker 1: the morning and doing quote unquote, you know, like if

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Speaker 1: you designed your full time role around shift work. So

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Speaker 1: I was doing a shift of four hours before my

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Speaker 1: kids got up, and then taking care of them, taking

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Speaker 1: care of them, and then going back and doing another

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Speaker 1: shift for several hours while they were in preschool or

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Speaker 1: napping or whatever things change as kids grow, and then

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Speaker 1: taking care of you know, taking care of kids down

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Speaker 1: for another nap or other occupations, and then another shift,

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Speaker 1: and that just continued on and on, and I was

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Speaker 1: able to really balance my role as a parent with

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Speaker 1: my husband being gone all the time, with my role

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Speaker 1: in my company by really being very purposeful about how

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Speaker 1: I was designing and my time around my both best

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Speaker 1: productivity time as a human and also the needs of

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Speaker 1: the company.

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Speaker 4: I was with, well, why don't you talk a little

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Speaker 4: bit about what you've done for military dot com, because

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Speaker 4: I know bringing in a spouse perspective is probably a

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Speaker 4: cool thing too for the organization.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So I started as an associate editor for Military

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Speaker 1: Spouse Stuff, So I was really putting up news content

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Speaker 1: on the site in that perspective, and then I sort

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Speaker 1: of grew into writing about military spouse and families things,

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Speaker 1: so that included covering military benefits as a reporter. Tricare,

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Speaker 1: which is the military healthcare system, is one of the

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Speaker 1: largest healthcare systems in the world, and it's a huge

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Speaker 1: taxpayer burden and very few people cover it thoroughly. So

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Speaker 1: I was able to sort of get into that very

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Speaker 1: specific vein and be able to cover that in a

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Speaker 1: way that was sort of like from an insider perspective,

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Speaker 1: and then resonated with the audience. And then from that

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Speaker 1: point on. We had an opening in our executive editor

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Speaker 1: role in twenty eighteen and I was promoted into it

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Speaker 1: a couple of levels in the organization, which was a

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Speaker 1: very cool surprise, and that's been the challenge since since.

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Speaker 1: So these days my job looks more like balancing my

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Speaker 1: role around the fact that I live in Alaska time,

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Speaker 1: an entirely different time zone, and my team is all

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Speaker 1: on the East Coast, so I work East Coast hours,

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Speaker 1: but that allows me to be flexible around my family,

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Speaker 1: so I'm really done with work for the day around

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Speaker 1: one or two o'clock on my time zone, which leads

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Speaker 1: me lots of time to go play, time to take

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Speaker 1: care of my family, time to take care of my kids,

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Speaker 1: and you know, they're not out of school until two

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Speaker 1: thirty three thirty in the afternoon, so I get some

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Speaker 1: time for myself there to run and whatever.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, so you start work at like five six

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Speaker 4: in the morning.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's I.

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Speaker 4: Hope you are a morning person. I am a morning person.

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Speaker 1: Okay, but like, isn't that part of the key of

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Speaker 1: figuring out what it is that you are Because if

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Speaker 1: I was not a morning person, this wouldn't work for me.

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Speaker 1: But I would have known that before I started to

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Speaker 1: try to do it, because when I was doing that

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Speaker 1: shift style work, I knew that my best time was

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Speaker 1: still five am. And I was living in Tennessee at

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Speaker 1: the time, so I was ahead of the game as

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Speaker 1: compared to the people on the East Coast. But I

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Speaker 1: was getting that deep work done in the morning where

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Speaker 1: you're able to really concentrate and get something great done

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Speaker 1: because no one else is around. And this is you're

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Speaker 1: literally my best time.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, exactly, well we are. Yes, we're talking afternoon

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Speaker 4: my time, morning Amy's time. We're going to take a

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Speaker 4: quick ad break and then be back with more on

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Speaker 4: Amy's story and some of her experiences with her husband,

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Speaker 4: Luke with the military when we're back in a minute.

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Speaker 4: So I am back with Amy Bouchots. We are talking

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Speaker 4: about being a military spouse, building her career at military

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Speaker 4: dot com, living in Alaska with two teen and preteen voys.

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Speaker 4: But we're going to sort of get into how you

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Speaker 4: out up in Alaska, and it's sort of the genesis

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Speaker 4: of this. When Luke was deployed in Afghanistan. I wonder

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Speaker 4: if you could talk a little bit about how he

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Speaker 4: was injured there and sort of the circumstances around that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So in two thousand and nine, he was an

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Speaker 1: Afghanistan and he was a part of a deployment where

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Speaker 1: we lost over twenty soldiers in just a very short

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Speaker 1: span of time. We're talking times where the vehicle he

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Speaker 1: was in was hit by an IED improvised explosive device

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Speaker 1: and blown up and the people in the striker vehicle

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Speaker 1: that he was in were killed and he was not.

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Speaker 1: And this happened a couple of times, and he walked

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Speaker 1: out of that seemingly injured in the moment. But the

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Speaker 1: reality is that if you're blown up like that you

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Speaker 1: probably have sustained some sort of injury, especially since he

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Speaker 1: also wasn't a concussion. But again, you're looking at the

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Speaker 1: guys around you and you're alive, so you must be okay.

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Speaker 1: So he just went back to work. Well, several years

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Speaker 1: later we started to see symptoms of what was really

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Speaker 1: going on there, which is a traumatic brain injury and

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Speaker 1: the post traumatic stress that you could imagine from being

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Speaker 1: in something like that. It can take some time, though,

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Speaker 1: to see those things from a symptoms standpoint, and so

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Speaker 1: it wasn't really until twenty fourteen, twenty thirteen, so several

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Speaker 1: years later that we started to notice that he was

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Speaker 1: having some cognitive problems. And I will tell you even

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Speaker 1: at the time, I did not have the words for that.

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Speaker 1: Really it was something's wrong. And so in those moments,

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Speaker 1: while we're grappling with that as a family, like what

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Speaker 1: is wrong? How do we even verbalize this? What do

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Speaker 1: we even need to do about it? And of course

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Speaker 1: he's still serving in the army, he's still at working

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Speaker 1: these super long hours, he's still having additional stress put

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Speaker 1: on him for that. What do you do? And so

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Speaker 1: I happened to notice that when we went outside and

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Speaker 1: we had started doing them, just like a little bit

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Speaker 1: of camping as a family, because it's something that he

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Speaker 1: wanted to do that he seemed like just a totally

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Speaker 1: different person when we were at a campsite. It was

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Speaker 1: really even hard to put words to that. It just

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Speaker 1: was like, this is easier, this is better. And so

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Speaker 1: we started sort of naturally gravitating towards doing that as

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Speaker 1: often as possible, because when something feels good, you want

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Speaker 1: to do it more. Right, as his crisis came to

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Speaker 1: a head where we were noticing more and more symptoms

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Speaker 1: and limited camping on weekends when you could get there

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Speaker 1: wasn't really enough to band aid a real problem or

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Speaker 1: it's not medical intervention, but it's nice, you know, we

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Speaker 1: were like, Okay, this needs to be really needs to

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Speaker 1: be addressed. We need to make sure that we're getting

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Speaker 1: him help that he needs and in a way that

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Speaker 1: he can receive it. And so we realized that to

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Speaker 1: do that, he really needed to leave that active duty job. Well,

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Speaker 1: when you get out of the military, you can move anywhere,

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Speaker 1: and when the world is your oyster, where you go. So,

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Speaker 1: knowing what I did about how he was responding to

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Speaker 1: being outside, we really decided to change what our core

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Speaker 1: values were as a family and try to live somewhere

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Speaker 1: that we could spend as much time outside as possible,

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Speaker 1: and that he could have that connection to that easy access.

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Speaker 1: Now we had heard, We had like, have you ever

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Speaker 1: done anything major in your life based off of a

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Speaker 1: rumor you heard from a friend?

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Speaker 4: Definitely not moving to Alaska.

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Speaker 5: So to just make great, Well, if you look at

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Speaker 5: the history of Alaska and of pioneers in the US,

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Speaker 5: this isn't that off the bat, right.

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Speaker 1: How many people moved to Alaska during the Gold Rush

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Speaker 1: because they heard a rumor. Now I did not think

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Speaker 1: about that at the time, but in retrospect it tracks okay.

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Speaker 1: So a friend of ours who had been stationed with

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Speaker 1: us previous had loved living up here, and we thought

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Speaker 1: we were like them, so maybe we'll like it too,

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Speaker 1: And we really did base moving up here off of that.

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Speaker 1: But the other thing is when you're in the military,

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Speaker 1: you move around a lot, and so you know, if

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Speaker 1: you don't want to live somewhere anymore, you can move

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Speaker 1: or the military will move you if you like it

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Speaker 1: or not. So things seem very transient. That's just a

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Speaker 1: part of the culture. And it did not seem like

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Speaker 1: a life decision that I couldn't get out of if

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Speaker 1: it was the wrong decision. So we made the decision

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Speaker 1: to pack the literal station wagon and move up here

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Speaker 1: to Alaska in twenty sixteen. And so where I'm still here.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking to you from Alaska today, where the snow

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Speaker 1: I am so happier to report is melting as quickly

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Speaker 1: as I would like. Yes, it is sort of late

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Speaker 1: in the year for that, but yeah, here we are.

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Speaker 4: Oh awesome, awesome, And so did Luke wound up taking

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Speaker 4: a job that was more outdoor based then right after

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Speaker 4: left the act of military.

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Speaker 1: So the Alaska Army National Guard is kind of what

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Speaker 1: he does as a full time, part time gig. It

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Speaker 1: fluctuates with timing. It's kind of a weird National Guard situation.

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Speaker 1: But he also was able to co found a veteran

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Speaker 1: nonprofit where he helps veterans get outside just like he's

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Speaker 1: helping himself, and they all get helped together. So it's

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Speaker 1: called Remedy Alpine and the really the purpose is to

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Speaker 1: give veterans like himself the experience of being outside and

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Speaker 1: seeing what sort of healing solitude in nature can bring.

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Speaker 1: So when we think about going outside and being in nature.

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Speaker 1: You think about maybe standing in a vast expanse and

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Speaker 1: just as the only person out there, and that's solitude,

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Speaker 1: that's what you're picturing. But the problem is when you

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Speaker 1: come up here to Alaska and you're looking for that,

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Speaker 1: it can very quickly spiral to isolation, which is something

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Speaker 1: we all know about in a post pandemic world. What

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Speaker 1: that feels like. There's a big difference between being alone

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Speaker 1: for solitude and being in isolation, and one of them

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Speaker 1: is something that you're doing on purpose, and the other

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Speaker 1: one is an outcome when you stop paying attention. So

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Speaker 1: his goal is to really move veterans who are likely

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Speaker 1: to be in that isolation space while they're dealing with

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Speaker 1: what's what they're dealing with, into a solitude space where

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Speaker 1: they have the tools to get outside and to take

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Speaker 1: advantage of that in concert with other people.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and just to I mean, I want to follow

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Speaker 4: up on it here that that obviously getting outside was

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Speaker 4: very helpful for him, but he also sought other medical

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Speaker 4: treatment for the traumat advanced for his mental health YEP

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Speaker 4: crisis that came out of that as well.

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Speaker 1: One hundred percent thank you for saying that yes, so

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Speaker 1: he has gone to several very useful PTSD programs. He

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Speaker 1: also receives help from the VA. The tricky thing about

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Speaker 1: traumatic brain injury and PTSD is that they are different diagnoses,

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Speaker 1: but the symptoms look very similar in a lot of ways,

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Speaker 1: and so it can be very difficult to understand which

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Speaker 1: needs to be treated and with what. And brains are

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Speaker 1: a pickle, so it's a lot of trying to figure

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Speaker 1: out what works best for each individual. But yes, the

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Speaker 1: VA does offer TBI treatments. There's a lot of acronyms.

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Speaker 1: I know they offered treatments for traumatic brain injury that

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Speaker 1: he has also pursued. So going outside is definitely not

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Speaker 1: a appilment or traditional help for anybody, but it certainly

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Speaker 1: is a support mechanism.

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Speaker 4: And has been a support mechanism for you too. I mean,

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Speaker 4: you're not dealing with personally a brain injury, but you've

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Speaker 4: found that you can talk a little bit about the

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Speaker 4: genesis of humans outside and what going outside has done

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Speaker 4: for you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, thank you so wonderfully. I know you have

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Speaker 1: experienced that this experiment as well. So in twenty seventeen,

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Speaker 1: I realized that though we had moved all the way

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Speaker 1: up here to Alaska in this sort of dramatic flare pilgrimage,

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Speaker 1: I was still spending a whole lot of time inside.

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Speaker 1: And the reason was is that I was sort of

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Speaker 1: waiting for Alaska to get awesome for me, Like, what's

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Speaker 1: wrong with you, Alaska? Why isn't your weather good? You know,

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Speaker 1: start to behave no newsflash, that's not how weather works.

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Speaker 1: You have to change you. And so I was literally

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Speaker 1: sitting on my porch reading Harry Potter, which I had

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Speaker 1: never read before, in the rain and wondering on Memorial

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Speaker 1: Day weekend, wondering when the heck we were going to

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Speaker 1: have some sunshine, please and thank you. And I realized

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Speaker 1: that if I hung out and waited my entire life

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Speaker 1: for the weather to do what I wanted it to

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Speaker 1: do on my own schedule, things were not going to happen.

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Speaker 1: And also, what would be the point of moving up here?

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Speaker 4: Nothing?

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Speaker 1: I mean, he's getting help awesome. I'm watching Netflix. And

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Speaker 1: so I decided to try something where if I to

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Speaker 1: see what would happen if I spent I spent me,

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Speaker 1: not my husband, who he was already living the life

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Speaker 1: twenty minutes outside every day for a year. How this

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Speaker 1: would change my life and what those impacts would be.

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Speaker 1: So I think the predictable outcome is that it was great.

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Speaker 1: And what I learned is that a few things one

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Speaker 1: twenty minutes is not that much time. I can find

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Speaker 1: the time for that. And I picked twenty minutes because

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Speaker 1: I was worried I would not find the time for

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Speaker 1: more minutes. I picked twenty minutes because I thought maybe

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Speaker 1: forty five would be a little bit of a stretch

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Speaker 1: some days, either actual, schedule wise or psychologically when the

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Speaker 1: weather was not so good. So I learned that, and

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Speaker 1: then I learned that if I did this thing every day,

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Speaker 1: I had limitless opportunities to see what would happen. And

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Speaker 1: I know that sounds like a no brainer, but the

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Speaker 1: truth is that every day is a lot of days

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Speaker 1: you can do whatever you want and have all of

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Speaker 1: the days to find out what those things are.

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Speaker 4: It's every day, exactly, and it really does have an

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Speaker 4: effect on your mood. I mean, going outside is a

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Speaker 4: known mood booster. I mean even if it's cool, even

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00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 4: if it's rainy, you know it's it's one of those

440
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 4: things between like physical exercise, which you know you could

441
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 4: do outside, you don't have to do outside and getting

442
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 4: fresh air. Those are two things that can put honestly

443
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 4: a reset button in the middle of every day. And

444
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 4: I know you started doing this in twenty seventeen. I've

445
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 4: done a couple experiments with it. No, you've inspired a

446
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 4: lot of other people too, and I know a lot

447
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 4: of people are doing it this year. I keep hearing

448
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,840
Speaker 4: from people about Gretchen Rubens twenty three and twenty three

449
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 4: challenge that people have been doing something very similar with

450
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 4: their project. But maybe you could sort of elaborate because

451
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 4: Alaska is in many cases cold, and you have gone

452
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:24,440
Speaker 4: outside in some pretty cold weather. Yes, they have, Yes,

453
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:25,959
Speaker 4: so talk a little bit about that.

454
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, So kind of going back to the twenty minutes thing,

455
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,199
Speaker 1: I thought the other reason to do that would be

456
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 1: that I should be outside for at least as much

457
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,360
Speaker 1: time as it took me to get dressed to go

458
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,160
Speaker 1: and find all of my stuff, right, which I mean

459
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:40,120
Speaker 1: if you put your various layers in various places, really

460
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 1: could take you way longer than it should. So, yes,

461
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,879
Speaker 1: you encounter unfavorable things. You are going to encounter rain,

462
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 1: You're going to encounter harsh conditions here in Alaska. Those

463
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 1: conditions tend to be harsher than in other places. Those

464
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 1: times have included hurricane force winds. We had a windstorm

465
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty one. We also had one this past

466
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two. We had the windstorm. We also had

467
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:07,239
Speaker 1: won this past year, So I'm getting the mixed up.

468
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 1: But it was literally one hundred mile an hour plus

469
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 1: winds for days and days on end. And this is

470
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 1: the kind of stuff that breaks the internet if it

471
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 1: happens in Florida, but it's Alaska, so no one really noticed.

472
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:27,360
Speaker 1: We're talking airplanes flipped over, semis scattered across the highway

473
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 1: as if a tornado had gone through. And I'm sitting

474
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 1: here like, well, I gotta go do twenty minutes today.

475
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:37,720
Speaker 1: What's up? And how I decided to handle this was

476
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 1: we have this little outcropping of our house where it's

477
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: like protected against the wind. I was like, I'm just

478
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 1: gonna put on all the layers and go hide and

479
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 1: just watch like I don't know, the wicked Witch to

480
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 1: the West flyby or something. Okay, So I like I

481
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,120
Speaker 1: had this plan. What I ended up doing was going

482
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 1: and playing in the wind, which is like crazy because

483
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 1: you're like rocks are flying so it had been windy

484
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,359
Speaker 1: for a while. I figured, all the rocks that are

485
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 1: going to fly I have probably already gone by. Put

486
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 1: on goggles and get out there and see what it's

487
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 1: like to stand in an arctic blast. I mean, I'm

488
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 1: you know, I can see my house. I'm not in

489
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 1: an unsafe condition. And it was the most amazing experience.

490
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 1: I'm so glad I got to do that. I never

491
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,680
Speaker 1: would have done that if I wasn't doing my twenty

492
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,199
Speaker 1: minute daily thing. But I was like, today will not

493
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,879
Speaker 1: be the day that I miss my twenty minutes.

494
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,640
Speaker 4: Just because tomorrow like a little windstorm going on, little wind,

495
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,119
Speaker 4: just a bit of a wind.

496
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 1: The KFC down the road literally broke apart. Okay, it

497
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 1: was this crazy stuff happened here. And I'm out there standing,

498
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,160
Speaker 1: you know, my arms out like you like you see

499
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 1: in pictures of people trying to stand in hurricane winds,

500
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 1: but in Alaska, in my giant jacket, and it was.

501
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 1: It was a really a mind blowing experience. And also

502
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,160
Speaker 1: one of the outcomes of spending a lot of time

503
00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,400
Speaker 1: outside is you have the increased experience of awe, which

504
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 1: is this feeling of amazement and just feeling small. It

505
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 1: can be described in so many ways. But I'll tell

506
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 1: you what standing in wind like that is a feeling

507
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:12,159
Speaker 1: of awe that I did not anticipate that you're just

508
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:17,159
Speaker 1: one person in the force of this weather event. It

509
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:17,959
Speaker 1: was incredible.

510
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:21,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, what temperature does your nose hair freeze?

511
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 1: Okay? I think it's like around negative ten.

512
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 4: Okay, I have science on this, but you've experienced this

513
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 4: a few times then twas it was certainly colder than

514
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 4: that in the wind. You know, you wrap like you

515
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 4: try to wrap your face to keep that from happening.

516
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,359
Speaker 4: But I'll tell you what it is, the weirdest feeling.

517
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 4: So I agree that it'd be like ice crystals. Like

518
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 4: the people follow Amy on Instagram, She's posted photos of

519
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,679
Speaker 4: her eyelashes with ice crystals on them as well as

520
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 4: you imagine. You know, if you're out in very cold

521
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 4: weather and your eyes produce water, it's gonna be somewhere

522
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 4: it's gonna freeze.

523
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 1: So you know what that is is it's less about

524
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 1: the eye water and although that does happen, and more

525
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 1: about your breath. Oh, it comes up coming up. So

526
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,199
Speaker 1: especially if let's say you have like your mouth like

527
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 1: a buff or something like a piece of fabric up

528
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 1: around your nose and mouth. Well, instead of going forward,

529
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 1: the air is now more going up, and so as

530
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 1: it gets cold, then it forms ice crystals on your business.

531
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 1: You have to discover that, especially as a family have

532
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 1: way more facial hair than you thought.

533
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:26,440
Speaker 3: I did.

534
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 4: A little crystals form on it. It's a little bit

535
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:30,199
Speaker 4: of it.

536
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:31,400
Speaker 1: Not awkward.

537
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,719
Speaker 4: Yeah that's awkward. Yeah, we'll see where that all is.

538
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 4: Things people listening to this podcast did not know.

539
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying, Like, I mean, you want people

540
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:42,679
Speaker 1: to learn something here we are.

541
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,480
Speaker 4: But then I don't know. Then maybe you got some

542
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 4: July day where it's light late at night, you know,

543
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 4: and you get the gorgeous this summits.

544
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, I having lived here now for several years,

545
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 1: I find it deeply comfort on like a soul level

546
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 1: when I go to bed and it is still light outside,

547
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:01,600
Speaker 1: because it means that the light is here, and that

548
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,200
Speaker 1: the difficulty of moving through the dark months, which is

549
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,439
Speaker 1: where I mean, it's really a psychological difficulty, and you

550
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 1: don't even necessarily understand how much that impacts you until

551
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 1: it's over. Is gone. It's light outside, baby, you know,

552
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,639
Speaker 1: So it's it's really very encouraging. We're at that point now,

553
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:19,439
Speaker 1: and every night I go to bed, I'm.

554
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 4: Like, yes, it's a lighter yeah, well, of course it'll

555
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:25,880
Speaker 4: get darker again. That is the way seasons are after

556
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 4: June twenty fours, so I wabe will be back.

557
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:29,400
Speaker 1: But I'll tell you what. Here's the other thing about

558
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:32,679
Speaker 1: spending time outside every day. You learn to appreciate the

559
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:36,240
Speaker 1: seasons for what they have. So I know that in

560
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 1: the summer I never get to see the stars, and

561
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 1: I am not really a nighttime kind of girl. I

562
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 1: don't really like that. Like if you like do you

563
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 1: like the dark?

564
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:43,959
Speaker 4: No?

565
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 1: But I have learned to appreciate the stars because they

566
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 1: are a seasonal pleasure, if you will, and because they're

567
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 1: in the darkness when I don't have other things. So

568
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 1: I appreciate that the aurora is. Everyone can agree that's

569
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 1: very cool. But you only see that in the dark months.

570
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 1: I think I probably saw the moon for the last

571
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:09,040
Speaker 1: time for several months. The other day I actually went

572
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,040
Speaker 1: outside and said goodbye, big dipper, I won't see you

573
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 1: again till August. You learn to appreciate the way that

574
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 1: trees when they're really dark, brown, dead, gross, they start

575
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:23,280
Speaker 1: to turn green. I don't mean the leaves, I mean

576
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 1: the actual tree from the ground up starts to like

577
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 1: get green. And the more time you spend outside just

578
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 1: sort of being day over day, you start to notice that.

579
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 1: I actually didn't notice this about the trees until this year,

580
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 1: and I've been doing this. I've been outside for twenty

581
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 1: minutes every day for like two thousand and fifty days

582
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 1: or something, and so just this week I noticed, like, wait,

583
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 1: wait a minute, when I feel like the trees are

584
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 1: getting greener, Like they are literally getting greener from the

585
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 1: ground up. It's crazy.

586
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 4: So if our listeners are thinking they're not quite ready

587
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 4: for their nosehirs to freeze, but they would like to

588
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 4: start having some more outdoor experiences with their families, what

589
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 4: would be a good way to start.

590
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, So, like anything else, the best way to get

591
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 1: started to start is to just get started. So I

592
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 1: picked twenty minutes for myself as an amount of time

593
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 1: that I wanted to do because I thought it was doable.

594
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 1: Also because there was research that said it's a pretty

595
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 1: good amount of time, Like you're going to get a

596
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 1: good amount of benefits from doing this, and so it's

597
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:25,959
Speaker 1: just a matter of deciding that you're going to go

598
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 1: step outside of your door, start making it a part

599
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 1: of your day. For some people, that is really hard.

600
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 1: It is hard to establish that habit. It's like anything

601
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 1: else you know, you forget, oh, I'll start tomorrow. This

602
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 1: is totally normal. This is like a normal human thing

603
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 1: that you struggle with that for that, I have actually

604
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 1: created the Humans Outside three sixty five challenge kits. They're

605
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 1: available on humansoutside dot com, and one I'm trying to

606
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 1: offer people is just like this little extra boost of encouragement,

607
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 1: so that if you need somebody to just remind you

608
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 1: to get outside, if you need just a little boost

609
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 1: of information, if you're not sure how to get started

610
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 1: or what to where. Some people really get caught up

611
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 1: in that because it's hard. It can be hard to

612
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 1: figure that out, especially if you live somewhere with challenging weather.

613
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 1: The Humans Outside three sixty five challenge kits offer that

614
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 1: They also have a coloring sheet and sticker and sort

615
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 1: of these you know, things that help you feel motivated.

616
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 1: If that's you. Going outside is entirely free. You do

617
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 1: not need a challenge kit or anything else to do it.

618
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 1: But if you do need a little bit of encouragement.

619
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 1: That's what I have on Humansoutside dot com as a

620
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 1: part of that. You can also follow along on Facebook

621
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 1: and Instagram. I know Gretchen Rubin has her twenty three

622
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 1: and twenty three challenge. She and I had chatted about

623
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 1: my challenge back in twenty eighteen, so I thought it

624
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 1: was really fun to see what she's doing. But you know,

625
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 1: you can follow along with that. You can follow along

626
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 1: with me Humans Outside three sixty five on Instagram, which

627
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,440
Speaker 1: is and then my accounts Humans Outside on Instagram, Humans

628
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 1: Outside on Facebook. And what I do is I put

629
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 1: a picture up every day of my outdoor time as

630
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 1: sort of a reminder for me, reminder for the people, Hey,

631
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: let's get out, let's do this. And I've been doing

632
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 1: that since the day I started doing my challenge. As accountability,

633
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,239
Speaker 1: I wanted a way to log what I was doing, yea,

634
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 1: And I knew that there was no way that it

635
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 1: was going to keep a journal, like it would be

636
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 1: one of these good ideas that you just never got

637
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 1: around to doing. And I didn't want that. I wanted

638
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 1: something easy, So snap a picture Instagram done, done, yeah yeah,

639
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 1: And then I have the Humans Outside podcast, you know,

640
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 1: so people can listen to that and hear about the

641
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 1: benefits and the encouragement. Two episodes a week, so awesome, awesome.

642
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 4: People check it out well, Amy, We always end with

643
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 4: a love of the week, so I can go first.

644
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 4: Although I know you've are somewhat familiar with this show,

645
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 4: so you might might have thought of your love of

646
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 4: the week. So mine's sort of an outdoorsy thing. We

647
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 4: bought this historic house about two years ago, and one

648
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 4: of the people who lived here a couple generations ago

649
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 4: was very into trees. And the upside of this is

650
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,880
Speaker 4: we have a lot of cool old growth trees in

651
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:05,400
Speaker 4: the yard. But even more so, she put little placards

652
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 4: on them. So at least some of the trees have

653
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 4: a tiny little placard on them telling you what the

654
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,719
Speaker 4: species is. So I'm just like, oh, walking by an

655
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 4: American holly or a you know, Canadian hemlock, you know,

656
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 4: American dogwood, or the various elm trees or something like that.

657
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,760
Speaker 4: So it's getting a little lesson in botany just by

658
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 4: being in my yard.

659
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,719
Speaker 1: That's great. My love of the week is also trees,

660
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 1: so I mentioned that they're turning green, which is very

661
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 1: exciting for me. But I have these trees on the

662
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 1: side of my yard. They are cottonwood trees, so I

663
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: have a love hate relationship with them because it's a

664
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 1: times a bit allergic, and they also drop cottonwood cotton

665
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 1: all over my yard at a certain part of the year,

666
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 1: which is I find extremely irritating. But I call them

667
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:54,719
Speaker 1: my tree friends because I can see them from my porch.

668
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 1: So when I'm just out there enjoying the weather, there

669
00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: they are, and they tell me when the weather is changing.

670
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,960
Speaker 1: So right now they're getting green. That can see their

671
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 1: little buds are starting to grow. It's very exciting. And

672
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 1: then they'll be leafy all summer and then in the

673
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,719
Speaker 1: winter or in the fall, they'll start to change color.

674
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 1: So they are my tree friends, and I am so

675
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 1: happy to welcome them back from the wintertime. It is

676
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: just it's big times here.

677
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 4: It's big times. Well, Amy, thank you so much for

678
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 4: joining us, and you let people know where they can

679
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 4: get reach you, so humansoutside dot com please go check

680
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 4: it out. Thank you so much for joining us.

681
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me. It's been a pleasure.

682
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 4: Well that was fascinating, so cool to hear about Alaska,

683
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 4: what she's doing there, her projects being a military spouse

684
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:45,880
Speaker 4: and all that, we have a semi related question. A

685
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:49,920
Speaker 4: listener writes in that if your spouse travels frequently for work,

686
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 4: what can you do to make life feel more doable? Now,

687
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 4: just a caveat here. Obviously, there's a huge difference between

688
00:34:56,560 --> 00:35:01,399
Speaker 4: having your spouse go to California for two versus having

689
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 4: your spouse be in Afghanistan for nine months under you know,

690
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:09,239
Speaker 4: incredible danger while that person is there, So we want

691
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 4: to make sure we are not the same at all. However,

692
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:15,800
Speaker 4: there are definitely things you can do when your spouse

693
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 4: is not around for whatever reason to make life feel

694
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 4: more doable. So, Sarah, when Josh has had sort of

695
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:25,719
Speaker 4: extended call or you know, very busy seasons with that

696
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,839
Speaker 4: would have been some of your ways of making life

697
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 4: feel more doable.

698
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's funny because like he actually does very little travel.

699
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:34,919
Speaker 3: I do more than he does actually at this point

700
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 3: outside of the home, partly because of our podcast. But

701
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 3: he has way more call than I do, and so

702
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 3: I have a lot of kind of solo parenting weekends

703
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 3: from a deployed spouse. So I get that, but I

704
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 3: do wonder if some of the strategies are similar. I

705
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:53,160
Speaker 3: make a lot of social plans because I know that

706
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 3: I'm going to be thirsty for adult contact. I mean,

707
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 3: I love my children, but you know, forty eight hours

708
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:02,240
Speaker 3: not speaking to another adult can get a little long.

709
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:04,800
Speaker 3: And so that is when I will reach out to friends,

710
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 3: often ahead of time for playdates or meetups. I often

711
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 3: have particular friends that I know have partners that work

712
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 3: a lot or travel a lot. So I kind of

713
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,279
Speaker 3: have my go to buddies that I am more likely

714
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 3: to reach out to in those scenarios versus families where

715
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 3: we tend to meet up with a whole family. And

716
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 3: if you may know what I mean, if you do

717
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 3: this kind of the thing and the other thing is

718
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 3: getting a babysitter, and we still do that even though

719
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,320
Speaker 3: you know it's funny, Like someone asked on my blog, like,

720
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 3: isn't Annabelle getting close to the babysitting age. She is,

721
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 3: She's eleven. She's still not comfortable being home for extended periods,

722
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 3: especially with my younger sibling. So the last time my

723
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 3: husband was on call, I had our neighborhood babysitter come twice,

724
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 3: once at five point thirty. Well, actually, this time my

725
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 3: husband was away so he wasn't even on call. He

726
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 3: was gone, he was at a conference. She came at

727
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:53,880
Speaker 3: five thirty in the morning so I could do my

728
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 3: Saturday long run, and then she came again at the

729
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 3: next afternoon so I could take one kid to a

730
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 3: birthday party without bringing everybody at once. And yes it

731
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,239
Speaker 3: was an expense. It made my weekend so much more

732
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 3: pleasant to be able to get in the run that

733
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 3: I wanted to do and to be able to attend

734
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 3: that party, and I actually had fun. It was like

735
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:12,720
Speaker 3: a social time. I talked to a lot of the parents.

736
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,279
Speaker 3: And I'm glad that I didn't have my big kids

737
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,360
Speaker 3: at this five year old party because it just wouldn't

738
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,359
Speaker 3: have felt quite right. So, yeah, those are my two

739
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 3: big tips.

740
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is definitely it's interesting. It's less of an

741
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:28,279
Speaker 4: issue for me now sort of post COVID just work.

742
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 4: Travel in general has changed entirely, Like people do not

743
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:35,800
Speaker 4: travel as much for two meetings like then. People would

744
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 4: do that in Zoom and it was just amazing to

745
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 4: me the amount of flights that were taken in the

746
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 4: past for things that could have been a virtual meeting.

747
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:48,799
Speaker 4: It's just that the culture wasn't there to do it.

748
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:52,359
Speaker 4: But anyway, be that as it may. I'm a big

749
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 4: fan of my tranquility by Tuesday rule to take one

750
00:37:56,120 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 4: night for you, because if if you make a commitment

751
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 4: to something, you will do it. Whereas if you're just like, oh,

752
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 4: I guess I should try to get a sitter for

753
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 4: one night so I could do something, it's just harder

754
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:08,760
Speaker 4: to get your head around that. And if you're tired

755
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,799
Speaker 4: from taking care of kids in addition to working, like

756
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:13,319
Speaker 4: you might not do it. Whereas if you know that,

757
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:17,920
Speaker 4: like every Tuesday night I go to this you know,

758
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 4: boot camp but boot whatever at my gym, and then

759
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 4: go out with these people afterwards, Like then you get

760
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 4: a sitter for that and you plan on that happening,

761
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 4: or in my case, going to choir, like when we

762
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 4: were in New York and my choir was Tuesday nights,

763
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:33,919
Speaker 4: and so we always had a sitter on Tuesday nights.

764
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,279
Speaker 4: And you know, if my husband was in town, he

765
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,359
Speaker 4: could work late that night or he could come home

766
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:39,839
Speaker 4: and we just pay the sitter for a cort number

767
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 4: of hours, like it didn't matter. But by having that,

768
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 4: we knew that when he was gone for the whole week,

769
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:49,239
Speaker 4: I would at least have that night where I wasn't

770
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:50,720
Speaker 4: having to deal with the kids and I was getting

771
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 4: to do something that was fun for me. I would consider,

772
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:57,400
Speaker 4: you know, thinking through when are the times like this

773
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 4: again if you have young kids. If you have older kids,

774
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,440
Speaker 4: it's just like different thing than it's more like the

775
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:05,319
Speaker 4: driving and all that. But with younger kids, if there

776
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 4: are certain times that are particularly rough with one person,

777
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 4: maybe getting a little extra support for that. So I

778
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 4: know that some people, if their budget allows it, like

779
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 4: their kids are in daycare or school, but their spouse

780
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,880
Speaker 4: is not available for whatever reason for long periods of time,

781
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 4: they've hired someone to help in the morning, say a

782
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:31,399
Speaker 4: couple days a week, somebody comes from I don't know,

783
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 4: seven to nine and can help, so you could exercise

784
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 4: and get yourself ready without people banging on the shower

785
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 4: door or whatever your toddlers do, and help with the

786
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 4: getting people out the door, and so you can get

787
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:46,560
Speaker 4: to work without feeling like you have already run a

788
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 4: marathon by that point. I would also encourage you to

789
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:54,280
Speaker 4: think about certain things that you probably would be splitting

790
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 4: during the time that your spouse was home, and maybe

791
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 4: taking some of that off your plate. So, for instance,

792
00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:05,719
Speaker 4: if the two of you would alternate cooking, well, then

793
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:09,880
Speaker 4: maybe you don't cook on the nights when your spouse

794
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:12,720
Speaker 4: would have been doing that. And whether that means ordering

795
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 4: something in or just getting like prepared meals from the

796
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:19,360
Speaker 4: grocery store, or if you have a nanny maybe or

797
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 4: an after school consider that person might do dinner one

798
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 4: of the nights. I don't know if that's possible for them,

799
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 4: but just so that is off your plate. And then

800
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 4: one other thing I want to throw out here because

801
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 4: I think this isn't just something you can do, but

802
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 4: it's a conversation you need to have with your partner.

803
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 4: And one thing that I think has helped preserve my

804
00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:43,720
Speaker 4: marriage is that if your spouse travels a lot for work,

805
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 4: they need to manage their energy while they are gone

806
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 4: so that when they show up they are on Like

807
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:53,839
Speaker 4: there is no I was in Europe for a week,

808
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,440
Speaker 4: so I need to sleep and catch up from my

809
00:40:56,560 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 4: jet lag this weekend. That is just if that.

810
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 3: Had hied like so much wine at the fancy work,

811
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:05,840
Speaker 3: you know that I just I'm just kind of entertaining to.

812
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 4: It, like and you know I could try and give

813
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,880
Speaker 4: a heads up, like with our family schedule. So Michael

814
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 4: was in Germany a week or so ago and I

815
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 4: knew he was coming back Saturday, which is a real ask,

816
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 4: I think anyway on my you know, for me, like

817
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:23,160
Speaker 4: he was coming back Saturday, and I thought, you've got

818
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 4: to sleep on the plane because Jasper is coming back

819
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,640
Speaker 4: from a competition at eleven o'clock at night and you

820
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 4: are the one picking him up, so you are going

821
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:34,319
Speaker 4: to have to manage your and he knows this. So

822
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 4: I think that that is something that you really need

823
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:44,360
Speaker 4: to make sure that is a clear expectation between the

824
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 4: two of you that they don't get to say that

825
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 4: they have had the hard part because they've been traveling

826
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,400
Speaker 4: that once they're back they are in full in and

827
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,800
Speaker 4: probably compensating for some of what you would have been doing.

828
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 3: I love that, but he wants another example, just for

829
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 3: more permission. The conference I just mentioned. When my husband

830
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 3: got back, we had talked about him taking the kids to.

831
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 4: The Mario movie and I was like, maybe I'll go,

832
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:12,320
Speaker 4: maybe I won't.

833
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 3: And then I was like he got back and I'm like, no,

834
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 3: you're going.

835
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:16,239
Speaker 4: You're going, and he did, and they had it.

836
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:19,120
Speaker 3: They will It was a time they enjoyed the movie,

837
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:22,399
Speaker 3: We'll put it that way, and I loved having two

838
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 3: hours in my quiet house to watch Bad Sisters.

839
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:30,799
Speaker 4: So absolutely absolutely that they can take some time to

840
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 4: give you some time if you are covering more of

841
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 4: the parenting during a time when they are gone. Well,

842
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:40,399
Speaker 4: this has been best of both worlds. I have been

843
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 4: interviewing Amy bouschats about being a military spouse and going

844
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 4: outside and all those other topics and her career at

845
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,879
Speaker 4: military dot com as well. We will be back next

846
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:53,280
Speaker 4: week with more on making work and life fit together.

847
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:58,160
Speaker 3: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the

848
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 3: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore shoe Box on Instagram,

849
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:03,319
Speaker 3: and you.

850
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:07,279
Speaker 2: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

851
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:10,200
Speaker 4: This has been the best of both worlds podcasts.

852
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 2: Please join us next time for more on making work

853
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 2: and life work together.