1 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that just started his own motorcycle gang. 2 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 1: Wigs on wheels wigs. If you want to ride with them, 3 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: you're gonna need a rock seventeenth century powdered wigs, and 4 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 1: he's already got. Martha Washington's due, gotta get your own. 5 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: With Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news 6 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except 7 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:34,560 Speaker 1: we've got a laser. Those other piggly wigglies just don't. 8 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:36,159 Speaker 2: This first laser story. 9 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 1: Is out of Australia today. Have you ever watched the 10 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,480 Speaker 1: Olympics and thought, you know what would make this better? 11 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 1: Drugs for the Olympians, Because if that's you, then your 12 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:53,479 Speaker 1: timing couldn't be more perfect. A brand new worldwide sporting 13 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: competition just got announced and it's called the Enhanced Games. 14 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 2: What I love it. This is real gonna be like people, 15 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,800 Speaker 2: how many gurridos they can eat, you know, a round 16 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:06,560 Speaker 2: taco bell. 17 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,039 Speaker 1: No, So, any athletes or former athletes who want to 18 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:15,119 Speaker 1: get on the juice for these sports that is strongly, strongly. 19 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 2: Encouraged thinking different drugs. If you're funnier with different drugs, 20 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 2: it should be so funny. 21 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 1: Give one of a mushrooms and the committee who runs 22 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:27,959 Speaker 1: it just got their top athlete, retired Australian swimmer James Magnuson. 23 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 2: He's just like okay, I'll do it. 24 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,839 Speaker 1: He's the first person to publicly express interest in competing, 25 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:37,520 Speaker 1: and organizers say they'll pay him one point five million 26 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 1: dollars if he can break the fifty meter freestyle record. 27 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 1: Steroids Now. James won gold, silver and bronze medals in 28 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: twenty twelve and twenty sixteen, and he says he's kept 29 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: himself in relatively decent shape. 30 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 2: Wait, didn't use eric. I was gonna say. Was he 31 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 2: ever busted for drugs? 32 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,639 Speaker 1: Yea, he did it clean in the Olympics before. 33 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 2: Hey, that's why we don't know him as a record breaker. 34 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 2: He wants his name. 35 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 1: I got like fifth. He thinks if you give him 36 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:08,360 Speaker 1: six months with performance enhancing drugs, he can easily crush 37 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: the record. 38 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,800 Speaker 2: It'd be more interesting if it was like people who 39 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,959 Speaker 2: went from couch to Olympics. You don't. 40 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, James was quoted as saying for that amount of money, 41 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: I'll juice to the gills. That's not the only bag 42 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,800 Speaker 1: of cash on the table. They added that the first 43 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:31,080 Speaker 1: person to break Usain Bolts one hundred meter record will 44 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: also get at least one million dollars. 45 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,800 Speaker 2: Oh well, that's pretty messed up. I don't like that. 46 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 2: It's encouraging. I don't know. 47 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 1: I kind of want to, like have one of them 48 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: smoke crack and run a marathon. 49 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 2: And be awesome to watch performance enhancing. 50 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 1: I want to see the pole vault with people on 51 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:51,840 Speaker 1: the blue pill. That would be an event to watch, but. 52 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 2: They wouldn't be able to do the hurdles. 53 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 1: Just for that one event though. The games are scheduled 54 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,280 Speaker 1: for some time in twenty twenty five. Oh my god, 55 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: all contestants have to sign a lengthy waiver. Oh I 56 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:11,480 Speaker 1: would have had to were starting our version right anymore? 57 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:15,640 Speaker 1: This next Lazer stories out of New Sumyrna Beach, Florida. 58 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 1: All Right, cops got a call over the weekend about 59 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 1: a forty nine year old man who decided to take 60 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 1: his truck for a spin on the beach and drive 61 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: it straight into the ocean. 62 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,760 Speaker 2: Who I think it's cool. 63 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: When people do this like on the side of you, 64 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,079 Speaker 1: but don't drive it into the ocean. This guy's name 65 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 1: is Jason Brushkevich and normally in the area that he 66 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 1: was at. 67 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 2: You're actually allowed to drive on the beach. There's quite 68 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 2: a few ocean areas. 69 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: But recently it was closed to cars because of the 70 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:48,119 Speaker 1: weather and the tide was too high. 71 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 2: I love when people see those signs. You're like, they're 72 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 2: trying to ruin my foot. Yeah, Oh, I come here 73 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 2: all the time. 74 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,400 Speaker 1: Jason did not care. He went around the closed gate 75 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 1: that said do not enter, yeah, and drove his white 76 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: Dodge Ram pick up onto the surf. Lifeguards were the 77 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,400 Speaker 1: first to respond after they saw him driving back and 78 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,840 Speaker 1: forth trying to do donuts in the sand, but the 79 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 1: water around him was two to three feet high. And 80 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 1: keep in mind this was all happening at around nine 81 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 1: in the morning. 82 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,480 Speaker 2: He was mess I think he just had a good 83 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:22,040 Speaker 2: cup of coffee Florida. 84 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,679 Speaker 1: The cops eventually got him out in onto dry land. 85 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: And here's the quote that's making headlines. When they said 86 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:30,760 Speaker 1: he shouldn't have been driving in the water, he told 87 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,920 Speaker 1: them it's not my fault the truck. Don't surf. 88 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,279 Speaker 2: Answer yeahs. 89 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:41,480 Speaker 1: They charged him with failing to pay the beach access 90 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,919 Speaker 1: fee and released him on a two hundred dollars bond. 91 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,360 Speaker 2: It's actually off pretty easy. 92 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:50,839 Speaker 1: His truck had to be towed as well. Based on 93 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 1: the smile in his mugshot, he does not regret it 94 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 1: one bit. 95 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 2: It's hair. It looks like he was going fat. 96 00:04:59,040 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: He was cracking the cops. 97 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,960 Speaker 2: Yes a person, he does. He's got of course. 98 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:09,039 Speaker 1: This next laser story is out of Cupid's headquarters. We're 99 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,479 Speaker 1: only days away from Valentine's and we might have just 100 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,840 Speaker 1: saved you with the most romantic night of your life. 101 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:19,080 Speaker 1: It's still available, promises to completely blow. 102 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:20,679 Speaker 2: Your date away, and. 103 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:27,719 Speaker 1: It only costs ten thousand dollars ten ten. For the 104 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 1: first time ever, you can now have a private Valentine's 105 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,920 Speaker 1: Day dinner on top of the Empire State Building. 106 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 2: I don't care who knows it. Imagine the view. 107 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:44,080 Speaker 1: The experience, called Empire for two, was inspired by the 108 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 1: classic rom com Sleepless in Seattle, and you know that 109 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: scene where Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks have their long 110 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,040 Speaker 1: awaited meet cute on the building's eighty sixth floor. 111 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 2: Sometime, electis it's cute? Okay? 112 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 1: Sure? If you're willing to shell out the cash, you 113 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 1: will be treated to a private tour of the observation 114 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 1: floor while you sip on champagne. 115 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 2: Oh, they better be. They better be feeding me the 116 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,479 Speaker 2: champagne for dollars. 117 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,800 Speaker 1: I want to walk it all the better seg for me, 118 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,279 Speaker 1: and then you get to go up sixteen stories for 119 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:11,839 Speaker 1: your dinner. 120 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,760 Speaker 2: So it's that far above the observation deck. 121 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:19,359 Speaker 1: That's crazy, very tippy top. In the intimate one hundred 122 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:22,799 Speaker 1: and second floor observatory, you'll be serenaded by a musician 123 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:26,680 Speaker 1: as you enjoy a three course meal. Festive foods include 124 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:32,240 Speaker 1: a redicio Caesar salad and a mouthwatering cheesecake dessert complete 125 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:33,520 Speaker 1: with cherry compote. 126 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 2: Tasty. I just flashed on an image of Alexis being 127 00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:40,479 Speaker 2: so uncomfortable. You're reading my musician in the room with 128 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 2: you playing. That is like my nightmare. 129 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 1: It's like Bruno Mars and you're like, no, thanks, no, 130 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 1: you can go down. 131 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 2: What if they wanted to make eye contact with you 132 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 2: as well? You know I'm not looking. 133 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 1: Can I call them my friends and look? If you 134 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,920 Speaker 1: can't fork out the ten k for this, it's all right. 135 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,679 Speaker 1: You can just go to the ground floor and enjoy 136 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 1: a regular dinner at the boring State bar and grill. Okay, 137 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:06,400 Speaker 1: that one's only going to set you back eighty nine 138 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: dollars apiece. 139 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 2: Hey, you could have a hundred of those and you 140 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 2: surely yeah, it'll still be cheaper, and you have street. 141 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: Buskers to sing to you. Yeah, you know celebrity. Well, 142 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 1: speaking of somebody who knows how to get romantic on Valentines, 143 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 1: he's had to do the shoe department of the Empire 144 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: State Buildings. That's right. That sound means Lazer Stories has 145 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 1: come to an end for the day. We're gonna do 146 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 1: it again the same time on Friday 147 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,920 Speaker 2: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.