1 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:12,799 Speaker 1: You're listening to Alive Again, a production of Psychopia Pictures, 2 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:13,880 Speaker 1: an iHeart podcast. 3 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 2: In two thousand and six, I had a freak accident. 4 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,080 Speaker 2: I was pulled under the wheels of a speeding train, 5 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 2: and as the surgeon's thought to save me, I had 6 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:27,960 Speaker 2: a profound out of body experience. I take myself back 7 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 2: to that realm where time did not exist. For the 8 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:35,159 Speaker 2: first time in my life, I was complete, and I 9 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 2: was in the present moment. 10 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 3: Something more powerful than me. 11 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 2: Was at force that was at save me, that take 12 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 2: and all I could think was, I've got to share 13 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 2: this with everybody. 14 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 3: Everyone needs to know about this. 15 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 1: Welcome to Alive Again, a podcast that showcases miraculous account 16 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: of human fragility and resilience from people whose lives were 17 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: forever altered after having almost died. These are first hand 18 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:12,480 Speaker 1: accounts of near death experiences and more broadly, brushes with death. 19 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 1: Our mission is simple, find, explore, and share these stories 20 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 1: to remind us all of our shared human condition. Please 21 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 1: keep in mind these stories are true and maybe triggering 22 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 1: for some listener, and discretion is advised. 23 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 2: I grew up well in the Midlands of the UK 24 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 2: and I had a very happy upbringing. 25 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 4: Them. 26 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 2: I was in a really good place, to be honest 27 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:47,160 Speaker 2: with you. My family was good, and I felt really 28 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 2: good about the world, and all that was about to 29 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 2: change when I started at the state school. 30 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 3: We call it comprehensive school over here. 31 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 2: And that's really because I'd got learning difficulties inasmuch as 32 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 2: I'm dyslexic, and I was never actually diagnosed with dyslexia, 33 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 2: and so once I got into that system within the school, 34 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 2: I was immediately sort of seen as being sort of 35 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 2: like a not only a slow learner, but like I 36 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 2: wasn't interested, you know, that I got no interested in learning, 37 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 2: which is completely untrue. You know, I wanted to learn 38 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 2: as much as I could about life. So that was 39 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 2: kind of like a blueprint really for the rest of 40 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 2: well for a long time, you know, into my adult 41 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 2: years that I felt like a failure and I felt 42 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 2: like trouble, and it hit me hard throughout my teens 43 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:53,239 Speaker 2: and so into my late teens, I suddenly decided that 44 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:57,639 Speaker 2: I wanted to go out and enjoy myself and party 45 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 2: dislike everyone else, I'm sure, but I kind of took 46 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,360 Speaker 2: it slightly to the next degree, you know, and that 47 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 2: carried on throughout my twenties, so I moved to London. 48 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 2: You know, I figured that London was going to be 49 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 2: the land of opportunity. So I thought, it's not working 50 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,079 Speaker 2: for me here where I'd grown up. And I did 51 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 2: fall into some really interesting circles of friends, which was great, 52 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 2: but that became tougher for me in a sense because 53 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 2: most of those friends, well pretty much all of them 54 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 2: were successful in whatever they were doing, and quite a 55 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:34,640 Speaker 2: few of them happened to be working in the music 56 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 2: industry and photography and things like that, and I really 57 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 2: wanted to get in. I tried to keep pushing that 58 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 2: door open, as it were, but nothing ever happened. It 59 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 2: just wasn't working for me either. It was a bit 60 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 2: of a double edged sword because as much as they 61 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 2: were a brilliant bunch of friends to have around me, 62 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 2: it was also like having this mirror again in front 63 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 2: of me, saying, David, you are still a failure. You 64 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:06,120 Speaker 2: were still not even able to succeed at this and 65 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 2: these people are why not. I was picking up work, 66 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 2: you know, sort of like working on construction sites, working 67 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,960 Speaker 2: in kitchens, washing up anything I could do to make money, 68 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:21,960 Speaker 2: and I also discovered I wasn't really that good, that 69 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 2: kind of stuff, especially construction work. Anyhow, I started to 70 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,040 Speaker 2: think a lot about the past. I started to think 71 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:32,279 Speaker 2: about opportunities that I messed up on, and all I 72 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 2: could feel was absolute despair. I was struggling, and so 73 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,920 Speaker 2: I would say, I started to drink to try and 74 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:50,720 Speaker 2: quash this feeling of inadequacy and fear of running out 75 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 2: of money. I was about to lose my apartment. I 76 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:57,600 Speaker 2: remember getting a viction notice coming through the post, and 77 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 2: I spoke to my sister on the phone and she said, 78 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 2: come on stay with us for a few weeks. She 79 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 2: lived out in the countryside with her young family. So 80 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 2: I went up there for a couple of weeks just 81 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 2: to try and get my head around what I was 82 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 2: going to do to be able to live in and 83 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:16,239 Speaker 2: fit into life. This was in two thousand and six. 84 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 2: I don't think I could could have sunk any load 85 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 2: than I had at that point. It was pretty pretty 86 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:36,280 Speaker 2: depressing and frightening as well. There's an interesting story when 87 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,719 Speaker 2: I was just going up for a weekend and I 88 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 2: was on the train and there was an elderly couple 89 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:45,039 Speaker 2: sat opposite me, and I remember that particular day, I 90 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 2: was not feeling in a great place, and I didn't 91 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 2: really feel like firing up conversation, but she was really 92 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 2: keen to open up this conversation about the fact that 93 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,280 Speaker 2: they were going to see this medium in the town 94 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 2: where my sister lived. And I said, okay. She said, look, 95 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 2: take this flyer. She's really good, and I went, okay. 96 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 2: So I just put it in this flyer in my pocket. 97 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,840 Speaker 2: And I remember turning up at my sister's house and 98 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:10,159 Speaker 2: there was a lot of mayhem. The kids were running 99 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 2: around stuff like this. So I said, look, I'm just 100 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,039 Speaker 2: going to go and have a drink at the local bar. 101 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:17,480 Speaker 3: So I went down. 102 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 2: I went and I sat there and I bought myself 103 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 2: a beer and I opened up this flyer and looked 104 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 2: at it and I thought, do you know what I'm 105 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:31,159 Speaker 2: going to go? And I walked in and it was packed. 106 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 2: And then it got towards the end of the session 107 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,560 Speaker 2: and she started pacing around, I remember, and she was 108 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 2: very animated. She was walking backwards and forward. And then 109 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 2: she turned around and she said, gentleman in the blue sweater, 110 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,799 Speaker 2: which was me. She said, your life is about to change. 111 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 2: And I thought, you know again, me back then it 112 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 2: was all about you know, I need the money, you know, 113 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 2: I said, it was fantastic. Am I going to win 114 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 2: the lottery? 115 00:06:58,320 --> 00:06:58,360 Speaker 5: What? 116 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 2: What is it going to change? She said, oh, they're 117 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 2: they're not telling me. She said, just be prepared for 118 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 2: it. It's going to be a very big change, but you 119 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 2: will be protected. And that's what she told me. I 120 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 2: met up with somebody actually, and this was just a 121 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 2: few weeks prior to me going up and staying with 122 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:28,240 Speaker 2: my sister and her family, and I've got this connection 123 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 2: with her. It was just like one of those She 124 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 2: had a grounding effect on me. And when I went 125 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 2: to stay with my family, with my sister's family, that is, 126 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 2: she said, well, I come and hang out with you 127 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 2: for a few days. This is my friend Anna who 128 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,680 Speaker 2: i'd met, and I said that, yeah, that'd be great. 129 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 3: So she came up. 130 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 2: To see me and we hung out for a few 131 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 2: days and we had a brilliant time. Then she had 132 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,280 Speaker 2: to get back to London. She got an appointment to 133 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:57,960 Speaker 2: get back for so I took her down to the 134 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 2: rail station to see her off. That was the day 135 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:10,680 Speaker 2: that my whole life was about to change. It was 136 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:14,480 Speaker 2: a cold February day in two thousand and six, it's 137 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 2: a bright blue sky that was hardly a claud in 138 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 2: the sky. And we stood there. The train came down 139 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,000 Speaker 2: the track. I remember seeing it coming down, and then 140 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:26,400 Speaker 2: I helped her onto the car with her bags and 141 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 2: I gave her her going to kiss say goodbye to her. 142 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 2: We both heard the automatic doors buzzers going, so she 143 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 2: said you'd better get off. I said, yeah, sure, I better, 144 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 2: and I stepped back and it was at that point 145 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:46,679 Speaker 2: that those automatic doors closed on my coat. So I 146 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 2: was wearing like this three quarter length sheepskin coat which 147 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:52,959 Speaker 2: is quite thick in quality, so it jammed right in 148 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 2: there and I just couldn't pull it free, and I 149 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 2: thought this is not good. I yelled out for help, 150 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:01,200 Speaker 2: hoping there would be a guy, and I didn't realize 151 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 2: there was no god working on this actual network. So 152 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 2: I started banging on the windows and carried on corning, 153 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 2: hoping that the driver may be able to see me 154 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 2: through the window or something, you know, But this just 155 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 2: didn't happen. There was only one other guy on the 156 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 2: platform that day, and he was also seeing off his girlfriend, 157 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,000 Speaker 2: and I remember he actually turned around to me and 158 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,719 Speaker 2: shouted at me, take your coat off, mate, take your 159 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 2: coat off, but it was just too tight. I started 160 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 2: to feel pretty scared. At this point, I could see 161 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 2: my friend Anna. I could see her through the glass 162 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:42,320 Speaker 2: of the car. The look of horror in her eyes 163 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 2: filled me with absolute inevitability that this could be the 164 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:49,200 Speaker 2: end for me. I suddenly felt well. I felt like 165 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,199 Speaker 2: I was staring death in the eyes. At that point, 166 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 2: It's like time had stretched. It didn't slow down, it 167 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,080 Speaker 2: wasn't like slow emotion, but at times stretched, and I 168 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 2: I thought, how am I going to cope with this? 169 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 2: The train's engine started to rev up and started pulling 170 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:11,760 Speaker 2: out the station, and I heard and felt every gear shift, 171 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 2: and I suddenly lost my footing. Then I was dragged 172 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 2: at great speed along the platform, and then I was 173 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:22,480 Speaker 2: sucked between the edge of the platform. Then I under 174 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 2: the train itself, and I still got this sense of 175 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:32,720 Speaker 2: time stretched, and I just remember saying to myself, relax. 176 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:36,320 Speaker 2: I'd seen this news article a couple of weeks back, 177 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,920 Speaker 2: and it came into my thoughts, and it's where a 178 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 2: young infant had been thrown from a burning apartment block 179 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 2: from the third floor, and they said that that infant 180 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 2: survived because because children don't tense up like we do 181 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 2: as adults. So that's what I did. I relaxed my 182 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:56,000 Speaker 2: whole body, and suddenly the train became more like this 183 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 2: mechanical beast as I got sucked down between this gap, 184 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:03,680 Speaker 2: and I'd gone from that moment into what felt like 185 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 2: absolute hell. It was like being thrown into a washing 186 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 2: machine at full spin. But it was violent, and it 187 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 2: was dark, and there was just the smell of oil, 188 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 2: and you know, the sensation the feel of the metal 189 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 2: was really terrifying. And then I was finally thrown down 190 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,920 Speaker 2: to the ground in between the tracks. 191 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 3: I was in absolute agony. 192 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 2: The train was still continuing on, and I thought to myself, 193 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,640 Speaker 2: it's not over yet. You know, part of the undercarriage 194 00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:44,600 Speaker 2: of that train could hit me because it was a 195 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 2: long training. It was still continuing on, and I still 196 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 2: got this sense of time slowly expanding, and I thought 197 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 2: to myself, remember all the double O seven James Bond movies, 198 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,319 Speaker 2: or the Indiana Jones movies. What would they do now? 199 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 2: They would put their face right down into the gravel. 200 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 2: So that's what I did. So my face was in 201 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:16,079 Speaker 2: that gravel, and the train eventually moved on, and there 202 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 2: I was in complete agony. I remember seeing my arm 203 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 2: completely ripped it right open as well, and ah, the 204 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 2: pain was just really intense, but I was just so 205 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 2: glad to be alive because I didn't think I was 206 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:38,480 Speaker 2: going to survive this. It still amazes me to this 207 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:42,079 Speaker 2: day that I was so calm at the point of 208 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,160 Speaker 2: this whole thing unfolding. 209 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:45,560 Speaker 3: It really is. 210 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:49,600 Speaker 2: I understand the whole phrase now of ftal flight, but 211 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:53,680 Speaker 2: not only that. I saw a documentary only recently of 212 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 2: this neuroscientist called Dr David Eagleman. Basically, the mine goes 213 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 2: from if you like, the best way he described it 214 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,040 Speaker 2: was being if we view day to day life through 215 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:09,960 Speaker 2: a VHS old video camera, then it's like going from 216 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 2: that to super cinematic wide angle film. And that's what 217 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 2: it is. So it's not only visually do you take 218 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:24,920 Speaker 2: everything in, but you're able to hear more, you're able 219 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:29,600 Speaker 2: to think more, and you're able to process exactly. 220 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 3: How you're going to deal with this situation. 221 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 2: So me as a person, I'm no superhero and I'm 222 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:41,480 Speaker 2: not you know, when things do go wrong in all fense, 223 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:45,120 Speaker 2: I'm not that kind of cool collective person. Normally I'm like, 224 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 2: oh well, no, wow, yeah. Within minutes it felt like 225 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:58,520 Speaker 2: the paramedics arrived, and I remember the doctor in the 226 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 2: back of the ambulance turned around to me and he said, look, 227 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,720 Speaker 2: we've just come from a war hospital around the corner. 228 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,880 Speaker 2: That's how we were able to get here so quick. 229 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,240 Speaker 2: But the hospital is going to save your life is 230 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 2: a twenty five minute drive. And so the sirens went 231 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,400 Speaker 2: on and we took off like a rocket down the highway. 232 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 2: We arrived at the hospital and I remember there was 233 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 2: a whole. 234 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 3: Team of nurses and medics and doctors are waiting there. 235 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 2: They got to work on me, and I knew that 236 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,440 Speaker 2: I was losing a lot of blood. I'd see just 237 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 2: how much blood I'd lost on the track. And the 238 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,600 Speaker 2: surgeon he was a lovely guy, you know, and he said, look, 239 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 2: your family are here. Would you like to see them 240 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 2: before we wheel you into theater? And I said yeah. 241 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 2: So they came in and obviously all of. 242 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 3: Them were completely shocked and in distressed. 243 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 2: And I was saying to my mom, Mom, I'm so sorry. 244 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,760 Speaker 2: It's always me bringing the dramas to this family, isn't it. 245 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,360 Speaker 2: It's always me messing up. 246 00:14:59,400 --> 00:14:59,920 Speaker 3: So there you go. 247 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 2: Still got that sensation and have been that person and 248 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 2: of course she put her hand out of my mouth. 249 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,760 Speaker 2: She said, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, 250 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:10,960 Speaker 2: which it wasn't, of course. Well, then I was keen 251 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:14,040 Speaker 2: to speak to my friend Anna, who I could see, 252 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 2: who were sat at the back, and she came over 253 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 2: and I remember she was just shaking her head from 254 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:21,880 Speaker 2: side to side, and she was saying, I can't believe. 255 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 3: You were alive. 256 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 2: They actually announced that you were, that you were dead. 257 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,840 Speaker 2: I also saw you go under the train. It was 258 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 2: at this point, just before I got whirled into theater, 259 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 2: that I left all the agony that I was in. 260 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:40,960 Speaker 2: I left the drama of the hospital and all the 261 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 2: noise and the Fruessian light in my eyes, and I 262 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:56,840 Speaker 2: was suddenly in a much calmer place. I'd left my body. 263 00:15:58,640 --> 00:15:59,960 Speaker 2: I was in a different realm altogether. 264 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:02,600 Speaker 3: I was. 265 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 2: It felt like a small, darkened space, not like a 266 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 2: foreboding sort of darkness, but a very comforting sort of darkness. 267 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:17,080 Speaker 2: And I felt safe instantly, and I figured that I 268 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 2: was dead. I thought, well, this is it. I didn't 269 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 2: make it, so this is death. I was made to 270 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 2: feel calm in. 271 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:26,480 Speaker 3: This realm, you know. 272 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:30,280 Speaker 2: I was like suddenly greeted by all these beautiful, pulsating 273 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:34,120 Speaker 2: colors of light all around me, yellows and ambers and 274 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:41,080 Speaker 2: golds and green, and I tried to get my bearings 275 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:44,040 Speaker 2: because I realized I was no longer laid on the 276 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 2: hospital trolley. I was laid on this huge granite rock. 277 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:52,280 Speaker 2: It felt so comfortable to lay on, even though it 278 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,640 Speaker 2: was just it was a hard rock. And I realized 279 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,680 Speaker 2: by this point I was no longer clothed either. I 280 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 2: was just covered in this really lovely sort of material. 281 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,840 Speaker 2: And I felt comforted by this beautiful material that was 282 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:09,439 Speaker 2: covering my body, and there was light reflecting off it, 283 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:13,240 Speaker 2: and it was just like a beautiful light blue. 284 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:14,919 Speaker 3: It's strange, but I. 285 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:24,520 Speaker 2: Just felt great to be suddenly calm and comfortable. I 286 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,480 Speaker 2: laid there for a while, and then I started to 287 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:32,160 Speaker 2: see light coming through my eyelids. There were three symmetrical 288 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:35,399 Speaker 2: grids of white light slowly closing in on me, and 289 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:39,000 Speaker 2: I just couldn't take my gaze away from it. I mean, normally, 290 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 2: in this realm that we live in there, I wouldn't 291 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,280 Speaker 2: be able to look into that kind of intense white light, 292 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:48,439 Speaker 2: but I could hear. And the reason I kept looking 293 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 2: into that light. I realized there was a healing energy 294 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,800 Speaker 2: coming from this light. There was healing the trauma that 295 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,920 Speaker 2: my body had just been through, you know, this horrific accident, 296 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,920 Speaker 2: and I felt like it was just slowly calming or the. 297 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:03,920 Speaker 3: Trauma of it all. 298 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,719 Speaker 2: Then I felt the presence of somebody near and just 299 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 2: there stood at my feet was a beautiful sort of 300 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:19,800 Speaker 2: androdging this person. I had never seen somebody filled with 301 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:23,680 Speaker 2: such purity and light as this person. But I knew 302 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,440 Speaker 2: this person and I couldn't figure where from. And I 303 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 2: actually said that, lad, I said, I know you don't 304 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 2: where do I know you from? 305 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,440 Speaker 3: And this person just. 306 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,720 Speaker 2: Kept smiling back at me and didn't say a word. 307 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,280 Speaker 2: But that was fine because I felt that this person 308 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,680 Speaker 2: was my keeper, if you like. This person was here 309 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 2: to protect me and guide me. And then I felt 310 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:51,000 Speaker 2: the presence of more people either side of me. There 311 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 2: were two female forms and they had their hands slowly 312 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,719 Speaker 2: hovering over the contools of my body. They weren't actually 313 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 2: touching my skin, but they would going over the whole 314 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:05,800 Speaker 2: of my contour. The energy that was coming from their 315 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 2: hands was so powerful. It was very very intense, and 316 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,800 Speaker 2: it was an energy of love. It was like unconditional love. 317 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 2: They were healing all those years of feeling like a failure. 318 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 2: They were healing all the years of feeling hurt and 319 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 2: fearful about my life. They were taking off one layer 320 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,639 Speaker 2: at a time, and they were just getting right down. 321 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 2: And the closer they got to that puristence of my soul, 322 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:45,359 Speaker 2: the lighter I felt. And I'd never felt so complete ever. 323 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 2: I'd always looked for other ways of finding happiness in 324 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:57,800 Speaker 2: my life, but here was happiness in its completeness. I 325 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,920 Speaker 2: started to think about my family at this point, because 326 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,119 Speaker 2: I thought, well, clearly I didn't make it and I 327 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,920 Speaker 2: am dead, so they're going to be even more upset now. 328 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,920 Speaker 2: And I wanted to try and see if I could 329 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:13,160 Speaker 2: see them. So I edged my way over the side 330 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,120 Speaker 2: of this huge rock and look down. 331 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 3: I was hoping to be. 332 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:19,960 Speaker 4: Able to see them. 333 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:21,120 Speaker 3: I didn't see them at all. 334 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:25,040 Speaker 2: What I did see was a waterfall, a waterfall of 335 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:34,119 Speaker 2: stars the size of Victoria Falls on Niagara Force. It 336 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:39,120 Speaker 2: was like absolutely vast billions of sparkling stars. It felt 337 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,440 Speaker 2: like I was looking through one galaxy into another. I 338 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:47,160 Speaker 2: was there in this universe, our universe, and that connection 339 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:51,200 Speaker 2: I felt with the universe was so powerful, something I'd 340 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,679 Speaker 2: never felt throughout the whole of my life. But the 341 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:58,399 Speaker 2: most profound moment of the whole of this experience was 342 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:02,640 Speaker 2: about to happen. That was I felt as I laid there, 343 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,320 Speaker 2: this energy of love had suddenly turned like somebody had 344 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 2: turned the dial up, and I felt this energy was 345 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 2: like causing every single molecule of my body to vibray 346 00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:17,439 Speaker 2: with love. And I lifted my head slowly, and just 347 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:21,320 Speaker 2: beyond the being of Light who stood there at my 348 00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,679 Speaker 2: feet still was this huge tunnel of white light that 349 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,160 Speaker 2: was slowly closing in on me. It was coming through 350 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,880 Speaker 2: the universe, It was coming. 351 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:29,720 Speaker 3: Through the stars. 352 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 2: It was white, it was intense, and it was surrounded 353 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:41,679 Speaker 2: by all these dramatic flames that were slowly circulating around 354 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 2: the edge of that white light. I was then being 355 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 2: told that what I'm looking at here is the source 356 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:59,760 Speaker 2: of all creation. This is God, not God as I'd 357 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,720 Speaker 2: believe God would look like, in some kind of human form. 358 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 2: No matter what faith we follow, there's usually some kind 359 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:07,440 Speaker 2: of human form. 360 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:08,000 Speaker 3: For me. 361 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,639 Speaker 2: From my school books and stuff, it was always the 362 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:14,399 Speaker 2: image of Michaelangelo's God on the Sistine Chapel. But this 363 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,480 Speaker 2: wasn't the guy with a long gray beard a tour. 364 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:21,080 Speaker 2: This was just intense white light and the power of 365 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,960 Speaker 2: the love that was coming from it just made me 366 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:31,520 Speaker 2: feel so complete and joyful. My head went back once more, 367 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:34,159 Speaker 2: and I remember I was actually laughing with joy. I 368 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:39,919 Speaker 2: had never laughed in the hole of my life. And 369 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,320 Speaker 2: it was at this point that I came crashing back 370 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:52,600 Speaker 2: into my body. I was back in the hospital. All 371 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,520 Speaker 2: the pain came rushing through every single vein of my 372 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:59,359 Speaker 2: body and muscle and bone. The noise level was like 373 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,919 Speaker 2: it fell he was screaming into my ears. Yeah, it 374 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:07,320 Speaker 2: was quite sort of shocked. I was wheeled into the 375 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:11,560 Speaker 2: theater that at that point. So I was under anesthetic 376 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,080 Speaker 2: for eight and a half hours with the first operation, 377 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,000 Speaker 2: and I woke up in the middle of the night, 378 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 2: and of course a huge part of me was dealing 379 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,480 Speaker 2: with with the with the horror of the accident, which 380 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,239 Speaker 2: is completely natural, but the main part of me was 381 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:32,119 Speaker 2: more absolutely trying to process this incredible experience that had 382 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:35,080 Speaker 2: happened to me. Because I knew nothing about neo death experiences. 383 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:38,240 Speaker 2: I'd never heard anything about this, and all I could 384 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,880 Speaker 2: think was I've got to share this with everybody, everyone 385 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 2: needs to know about this. So I thought, because I'm dyslexic, 386 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 2: I thought that I'm never going to be able to 387 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:50,119 Speaker 2: write about this. I thought, I'm going to paint it. 388 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,639 Speaker 2: I'm going to do the painting like the ones the 389 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,800 Speaker 2: Renaissance artists did, those big dramatic biblical scenes. That's how 390 00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 2: it's got to be, even though I'd done nothing like 391 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:03,800 Speaker 2: this before in my life. The British rail Police had 392 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,680 Speaker 2: to do an inquiry on't it because of the nature 393 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:09,280 Speaker 2: of the accidents, and the head of the rail police said, David, 394 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,320 Speaker 2: we're still scratching our heads because we don't get it, 395 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:15,800 Speaker 2: because by all our figures, you should be dead, you 396 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,040 Speaker 2: should not have survived. 397 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,119 Speaker 3: That we don't understand it. 398 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:21,480 Speaker 2: We see these kind of these kind of accidents happen 399 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:24,919 Speaker 2: and people never ever survive, and if they do survive, 400 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,359 Speaker 2: they come off a heck of a lot worse. So 401 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 2: something more powerful than me was at force that that 402 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:37,840 Speaker 2: was out to save me that take. It took me 403 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:41,480 Speaker 2: a week to tell my parents about it, because them 404 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 2: both being Christian, I thought it's just gonna jar with 405 00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:47,280 Speaker 2: their teachings. And when I told them about it, my 406 00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,919 Speaker 2: mom turned around at the end, and she said, David, 407 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:56,119 Speaker 2: we know and I said, you know, you know you 408 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 2: know about this? 409 00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,000 Speaker 3: I said, how He. 410 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:01,919 Speaker 2: Said, well, every time we come in to see you, 411 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,639 Speaker 2: you've got all these tubes and wires coming out of you. 412 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:07,639 Speaker 2: You know, you're laid there with all the nurses constantly 413 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:12,200 Speaker 2: caring for you, and you're glowing like we've never seen 414 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:16,360 Speaker 2: you glow before, and you're just so positive, and you're 415 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:19,960 Speaker 2: caring for everyone around you, whereas everyone should be caring 416 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:24,679 Speaker 2: for you. And so I said, well, that's amazing. So 417 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,760 Speaker 2: I was really pleased anyway that they got it, you know, 418 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,240 Speaker 2: because it was important for me. There was no stopping 419 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,760 Speaker 2: me from that point onwards, and I was out to 420 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:39,359 Speaker 2: tell as many people as they could. A lot of 421 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,119 Speaker 2: synchronicity started to come into my life. And one of 422 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,640 Speaker 2: these moments of synchronisty was that a friend of my sisters. 423 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,280 Speaker 2: Because I recuperated out my sister's home, you know, they 424 00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:50,439 Speaker 2: give me my own room, and so she came in 425 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,439 Speaker 2: and saw me and she said, when are you going 426 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,720 Speaker 2: to start this painting? And I said, well, you know, 427 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,720 Speaker 2: there's not enough space in here, there's not enough light 428 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,160 Speaker 2: and all things like this, and she said well, well, 429 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 2: we run a yoga Plartis center and we've got a 430 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 2: spare studio. You can come and do your painting there. 431 00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:10,879 Speaker 2: So I said, oh great. I became known as the 432 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,399 Speaker 2: artist in the attic and people would come up and 433 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,240 Speaker 2: they'd want to see what I was doing. And one 434 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,080 Speaker 2: personal that came in, she was a cello player, and 435 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,080 Speaker 2: she said, there is a spiritualist church. So I thought right, 436 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 2: and I'd just gone in and it was one of 437 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 2: their church meetings, and at the end of that meeting 438 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:28,639 Speaker 2: got chatting with them and they said, oh, you had 439 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:32,199 Speaker 2: a near death experience. And they said to me at 440 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,960 Speaker 2: that very first meeting, they said, look, we do spiritual healing. 441 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,159 Speaker 2: And I said great, went kind of come, so I 442 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:41,120 Speaker 2: said on Thursday, So off I went. And in those 443 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:44,719 Speaker 2: healing sessions, a couple of the healers are Claire Warrington, 444 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:48,440 Speaker 2: and they give very small brief messages at the end sometimes, 445 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,320 Speaker 2: and each one of them started to say I was 446 00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:56,359 Speaker 2: picking up Wagner and Beethoven and Chopin wrote why would 447 00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:56,600 Speaker 2: that be? 448 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,040 Speaker 3: And I said, I have no idea. 449 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,760 Speaker 2: And then one of them turned around and she said, 450 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:02,960 Speaker 2: they were telling me that you're going to write a 451 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,080 Speaker 2: piece of music about your experience. You're near that experience. 452 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,240 Speaker 2: I started working on what I thought was going to 453 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 2: be a song about this experience. Nothing was coming, nothing 454 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:18,879 Speaker 2: was happening. Then one afternoon, I was just watching an 455 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,879 Speaker 2: old movie on the TV, and then this core progression 456 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:22,879 Speaker 2: suddenly came. 457 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,719 Speaker 3: And I thought, wow, that's really lovely, you know. 458 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,760 Speaker 2: So I got it down onto this cassette recorder, you know, 459 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,960 Speaker 2: went off and made a coffee, came back, played it back. 460 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:42,640 Speaker 2: I thought, this is really beautiful. And I thought, this's 461 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,399 Speaker 2: not a song that they're asking me to write. It 462 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:49,520 Speaker 2: needs to be played by an orchestra. So I met 463 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,200 Speaker 2: with my friend, the cellist, and we were having coffee 464 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 2: and I told her about what I was up to, 465 00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:58,159 Speaker 2: and she said, oh, maybe our orchestra could form it 466 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,440 Speaker 2: one day, and laughed, you know, and I thought, yeah, 467 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 2: that would be great. I was self taught, like a 468 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:13,760 Speaker 2: lot of teenagers, you know, I needed to express myself. 469 00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:15,440 Speaker 2: Thought what am I going to do in my life? 470 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,680 Speaker 2: So I thought, I'm going to join a punk band. 471 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,680 Speaker 2: I could probably like a lot of kids that bang 472 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,120 Speaker 2: out three corps, but that's all you needed to join 473 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:27,880 Speaker 2: these kind of bands, And those really were my grounding 474 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:32,639 Speaker 2: days for later writing music, which is crazy because I 475 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:36,719 Speaker 2: remember when I met with a conductor with the final score. 476 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 2: He said, David, you don't understand the enormity of writing 477 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:43,640 Speaker 2: a symphony, which is what you've done, even if you've 478 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,800 Speaker 2: been to the university and you'd studied it. It's a 479 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 2: huge task and you've done it. He didn't even know. 480 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,640 Speaker 2: I can't read or write music. I still can't read 481 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:55,800 Speaker 2: or write music to this day. 482 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,480 Speaker 3: But you know, I was thinking, wow, is this is 483 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 3: this gonna work? 484 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,200 Speaker 2: I have no idea. I didn't know whether it's going 485 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,280 Speaker 2: to work or not. I remember the conductor lifting his 486 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:19,800 Speaker 2: button as it came down. Those opening chords came, and 487 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,720 Speaker 2: they were the opening chords that I'd written that one 488 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 2: afternoon on that cheap little synthesizer. You know, it was 489 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,120 Speaker 2: like three dimensional sand. 490 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:44,320 Speaker 4: It was wah. 491 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:47,760 Speaker 2: And after that first rehearsal, they said to me, oh, look, 492 00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:49,880 Speaker 2: would you mind saying a few words to the local 493 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:51,440 Speaker 2: press about your piece? 494 00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:52,200 Speaker 3: I said yeah, sure. 495 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,800 Speaker 2: So I spoke to the local press on the phone 496 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:56,479 Speaker 2: and they said, hang on, you're the guy who went 497 00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:57,600 Speaker 2: under the train, aren't you? 498 00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:58,600 Speaker 3: And I said yeah. 499 00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:01,400 Speaker 2: And then the BBC so we'd like to interview you 500 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:02,680 Speaker 2: at a rehearsal. 501 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:03,240 Speaker 3: I said sure. 502 00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:14,360 Speaker 2: So the concerts sold out two weeks in advance because 503 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:19,040 Speaker 2: of the BBC basically turning it. And it was amazing 504 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,040 Speaker 2: because there was no sense of me feeling like the 505 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:23,720 Speaker 2: great I am like, it's like, wow, this is my 506 00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:25,800 Speaker 2: big moment. I'm going to be like a huge star. 507 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,360 Speaker 2: There's nothing to do with that. All I could think 508 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:30,720 Speaker 2: was Great, We're going to have a full house and 509 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:32,920 Speaker 2: I'm going to everyone's going to be able to and 510 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:33,800 Speaker 2: I'm going to get this. 511 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,520 Speaker 3: Story across to even more people. 512 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:54,280 Speaker 2: I remember, just as they started the opening bars, I 513 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:58,400 Speaker 2: saw a dove landed on the stone window sill outside 514 00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:01,480 Speaker 2: and I thought, wow, that's that's really beautiful. And I 515 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,280 Speaker 2: thought it was just me saw it, but so many 516 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:11,920 Speaker 2: other people in the audience saw it as well. I 517 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:15,280 Speaker 2: very rarely think about where my life would have gone 518 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,480 Speaker 2: if I had not had this accident or of this 519 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:22,200 Speaker 2: near death experience. I hardly ever think about the past. 520 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:28,120 Speaker 2: I hardly ever think about the future. Before the accident, 521 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:31,120 Speaker 2: that's all I ever did. I realized when I came 522 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,960 Speaker 2: back from that experience that I'd spent so much of 523 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:40,360 Speaker 2: my life, concerned with past mistakes or opportunities, doorways that 524 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,480 Speaker 2: I could have gone through that I've messed up on. 525 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:47,520 Speaker 2: I was concerned with the future, especially the point before 526 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,680 Speaker 2: the accident, because I was about to be evicted from 527 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,520 Speaker 2: my home, from my apartments, I was about to lose everything. 528 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:56,160 Speaker 2: So I was concerned about the future and where my 529 00:31:56,200 --> 00:32:00,480 Speaker 2: life was going to go. But I very ay think 530 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,120 Speaker 2: about either now. Yes, of course, like I said, I'm 531 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,200 Speaker 2: not superhuman, there are times when anxiety get to grip, 532 00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 2: But I take myself back to that realm where time 533 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:14,480 Speaker 2: did not exist. For the first time in my life, 534 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:17,600 Speaker 2: I was complete and I was in the present moment, 535 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,360 Speaker 2: and I realized that being in the present moment is 536 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,840 Speaker 2: the best place to be. So every time that fear 537 00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:28,160 Speaker 2: starts to happen, now, you know, especially the world is 538 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 2: you know, is not in a great place at the moment. 539 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,560 Speaker 2: So there's there's fear that comes into all of us, 540 00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,600 Speaker 2: all of us and anxiety. But I just try and 541 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:39,480 Speaker 2: say to myself, look, stop, you're okay where you're sat 542 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:42,160 Speaker 2: at the moment. You're not under threat as it were 543 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:44,480 Speaker 2: at this moment in time, and this is the present moment. 544 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,960 Speaker 3: We don't I mean, we don't talk about death. 545 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:53,160 Speaker 2: That's the other thing that I found I now find astonishing. 546 00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,960 Speaker 2: You know that death does not come into our we 547 00:32:56,240 --> 00:33:01,200 Speaker 2: don't plan for it. We plan for everything else, birth, marriage, 548 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:05,480 Speaker 2: driving tests, but not death. And I don't think that 549 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:07,440 Speaker 2: we should be sitting around talking about it all the time. 550 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,800 Speaker 2: But you know, it's going to happen to us all 551 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,520 Speaker 2: it's going to come, and we may as well address 552 00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:15,600 Speaker 2: it and then at least take away that fear element 553 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 2: of death, because I firmly believe that death is not 554 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,160 Speaker 2: the end for us, that it's only the next stage 555 00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 2: of the journey. And that's not me being romantic, it's 556 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:51,720 Speaker 2: absolutely true. 557 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,080 Speaker 1: Welcome back to This is Alive again, joining me for 558 00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,800 Speaker 1: a conversation about today's story or my other Alive against 559 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:04,040 Speaker 1: story producers Kate Sweeney, Nicholas Takowski, and Brent Day, and 560 00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:07,600 Speaker 1: I'm your host, Dan Bush. So, Kate, that story is 561 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:13,080 Speaker 1: harrowing and almost unimaginable, but what comes out of it 562 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:17,000 Speaker 1: with his art and his creating a symphony without any 563 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:21,160 Speaker 1: formal training and just sort of all of the events 564 00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:25,680 Speaker 1: surrounding this that point at not only his the precursor, 565 00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:27,400 Speaker 1: which is somebody warning him that his life's about to 566 00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:31,360 Speaker 1: change a few weeks before this incident, but also afterwards. 567 00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:33,319 Speaker 1: What are some of your takeaways from this? 568 00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:37,279 Speaker 6: I mean, yeah, right, like similar to Rodney White, I'm 569 00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:40,799 Speaker 6: struck again by the sense of confidence that this experience 570 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:45,480 Speaker 6: opens up with David to take on these new enterprises 571 00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:49,319 Speaker 6: painting and composing with no formal training of either. And 572 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,319 Speaker 6: I kind of wanted to like even like throw this 573 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:54,920 Speaker 6: back to you, Dan, because you have done extensive reading 574 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,360 Speaker 6: about near death experiences. Is this a common thing? Is 575 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:02,000 Speaker 6: this something that happens to folks with these spiritual experiences? 576 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,480 Speaker 1: I mean all of the experiences that in the classic 577 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:07,680 Speaker 1: experiences that are noted in some of the more famous 578 00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:11,600 Speaker 1: books about near death experiences, where you actually flat line, 579 00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:16,759 Speaker 1: there's a consistency across the stories with certain experiences like 580 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:22,200 Speaker 1: a feeling of complete warmth and a and a and 581 00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:24,560 Speaker 1: a feeling of of and sometimes they describe a white light, 582 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:27,160 Speaker 1: which we all know about. And then there's other experiences 583 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:32,399 Speaker 1: where they experience, you know, a life review, but there's 584 00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:36,000 Speaker 1: there's there's there's consistencies in these stories, which is fascinating. 585 00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:38,800 Speaker 6: That and just sort of you know, as I was saying, before. 586 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:41,440 Speaker 6: I love how the story sort of marries the mystical 587 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:46,560 Speaker 6: and sort of the everyday life experience because we see 588 00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:49,840 Speaker 6: here right like earlier in the story, before this happens, 589 00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:55,160 Speaker 6: he feels like a failure in life, and he doesn't 590 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,279 Speaker 6: realize yet that that's due to the fact that he 591 00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:01,799 Speaker 6: has this neurodivergence. In his case, he has a which 592 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:03,960 Speaker 6: by the way, we will see again dun dun duh 593 00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:07,880 Speaker 6: later this season when a completely different kind of story. 594 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:11,520 Speaker 6: But in his case, this near death experience sort of 595 00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,880 Speaker 6: sets off this series of events that helps his perspective 596 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:19,640 Speaker 6: to shift. He sort of takes on these new talents. 597 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:23,600 Speaker 6: And one thing that I love about that is how 598 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:29,279 Speaker 6: he refuses to take the credit for this work that 599 00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:31,800 Speaker 6: he produces, or really for anything that happens in his life. 600 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,920 Speaker 6: He says, Oh, it's not me, it's me plus my guides, 601 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:38,319 Speaker 6: it's me plus the universe. And I find that really 602 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:41,360 Speaker 6: compelling because I think it's really easy to feel alone, 603 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:44,600 Speaker 6: and I think, especially these days, right it's really easy 604 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:48,040 Speaker 6: for us to live our lives in lots and lots 605 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,520 Speaker 6: of solitude, and I think that can put a lot 606 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:55,040 Speaker 6: of pressure on creative endeavors. So to believe in something 607 00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:58,600 Speaker 6: you know, whether it's your guides or muses, as artists 608 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,680 Speaker 6: have sort of traditionally done for eons, whatever it is, 609 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,560 Speaker 6: can be really helpful to kind of take the pressure off. 610 00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:08,520 Speaker 6: And in David, I think we kind of see a 611 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,400 Speaker 6: really strong example of that, like, oh, it's not me, 612 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,680 Speaker 6: it's the universe and who That just feels like a 613 00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:15,480 Speaker 6: breath of fresh air. 614 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:24,160 Speaker 1: Next time on a Live Again, we meet Rodney White, 615 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,200 Speaker 1: an artist and musician who survived a life altering car 616 00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:29,839 Speaker 1: crash in two thousand and eight. He flatlined twice and 617 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,799 Speaker 1: required a medically induced coma, during which he had a 618 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,640 Speaker 1: near death experience that transformed his life. 619 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:39,680 Speaker 5: The car that hit me was a Honda City, So 620 00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,879 Speaker 5: to hit a jeep Cherokee and flip it and then 621 00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:52,920 Speaker 5: push it, those are spring speeds. I wouldn't change anything, 622 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:55,200 Speaker 5: because the other side. 623 00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,120 Speaker 3: Of all of those experiences is. 624 00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,839 Speaker 5: This life I'm living right now, and it is. 625 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:07,080 Speaker 1: Our story. Producers are Dan Bush, Kate Sweeney, Brent die 626 00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:11,960 Speaker 1: Nicholas Dakoski, and Lauren Vogelbaum. Music by Ben Lovett, additional 627 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:16,080 Speaker 1: music by Alexander Rodriguez. Our executive producers are Matthew Frederick 628 00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:19,320 Speaker 1: and Trevor Young. Special thanks to Alexander Williams for additional 629 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:23,120 Speaker 1: production support. Our studio engineers are Rima L. K Ali 630 00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:27,919 Speaker 1: and Noames Griffin. Our editors are Dan Bush, Gerhartslovitchka, Brent 631 00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:32,319 Speaker 1: Die and Alexander Rodriguez. Mixing by Ben Lovett and Alexander Rodriguez. 632 00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:36,480 Speaker 1: I'm your host, Dan Bush. Thanks to David Ditchfield for 633 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:40,320 Speaker 1: sharing his story. For more about David, visit Shine on 634 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:44,560 Speaker 1: Thestory dot com. Alive Again is a production of iHeartRadio 635 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:48,279 Speaker 1: and Psychopia Pictures. If you have a transformative near death 636 00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,320 Speaker 1: experience to share, we'd love to hear your story. Please 637 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:55,880 Speaker 1: email us at Alive Again Project at gmail dot com. 638 00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:59,239 Speaker 1: That's a l I v E A g A I 639 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:03,400 Speaker 1: N p R O j E C T at gmail 640 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:17,319 Speaker 1: dot com.