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Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached

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Speaker 1: my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheeky's podcast. I'm here

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Speaker 1: to give you a device on anything and everything you

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Speaker 1: need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or

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Speaker 1: having issues with your family, or maybe you have a

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Speaker 1: question about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I

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Speaker 1: want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts

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Speaker 1: in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious

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Speaker 1: issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.

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Speaker 1: All right, now, go ahead and leave your message.

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Speaker 2: At the sound of the beeB, Hi Cheeky's, I hope

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Speaker 2: all as well. I will remain anonymous just because of

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Speaker 2: a type of question that I have. On one of

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Speaker 2: your previous episodes, you have somebody ask you about politics,

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Speaker 2: and I'm just like you, I just don't like to

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Speaker 2: talk about it or anything. However, my husband is a

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Speaker 2: board patrol agent, that's what he does for work, and

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Speaker 2: just with everything going on right now, it's been so hard.

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Speaker 2: The familia is like, you know, we can't speak politics

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Speaker 2: because everybody gets so passionate about it, and you know,

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Speaker 2: everybody has their opinions but when it comes down to

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Speaker 2: him trying to explain, hey, like you know, this is

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Speaker 2: what's going on at work, or trying to explain what

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Speaker 2: they make them do, or just you know, the work

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Speaker 2: politics side, they don't want to hear it. They don't care,

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Speaker 2: they don't want to listen to him, like they're just

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Speaker 2: they can't stand him sometimes, and just by looking at him,

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Speaker 2: they're like, oh, like we love you, but oh like

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Speaker 2: we can't. We hate the fact that you do this.

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Speaker 2: And it's like he's not Mexican, he's not you know,

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Speaker 2: he's Latino, but everybody always sees him and says that like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you're doing this to your own people, and it's.

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Speaker 3: Like, oh my god, it's just it's so hard. I

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Speaker 3: don't know what to do.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes his job is very like we keep it.

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Speaker 3: On the down low.

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Speaker 2: But how do you react to family that tells you

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Speaker 2: they love you, but there they won't even let you

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Speaker 2: express yourself on your side, I guess thank you.

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Speaker 1: Hello, thank you for your question. It is a touchy subject,

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Speaker 1: you know, like they say, you have to learn to

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Speaker 1: separate the artists from the art you know, and it

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Speaker 1: is hard though, it is difficult, and your husband, I mean,

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Speaker 1: he didn't know all of this was going to happen,

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Speaker 1: especially right now, the moments we're living, you know, when

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Speaker 1: he started as a border patrol. I think it's unfortunate

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Speaker 1: that your family won't even take the time to listen

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Speaker 1: to him because they don't like his line of work.

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Speaker 1: I think, just right now, it's hot and steamy, you

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Speaker 1: know the subject. So it's difficult, but I think eventually

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Speaker 1: you should have a conversation with them and say, hey,

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Speaker 1: it hurts my feelings. It's not cool, Like I understand

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Speaker 1: that you guys don't understand, and you guys don't accept

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Speaker 1: or support his job, his line of work, but that's

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Speaker 1: how he puts food on our table and a roof

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Speaker 1: of our head. And he's not the one that makes

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Speaker 1: the rules.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: It's not like he can change careers now, you know,

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Speaker 1: and maybe he could, but I mean, how realistic is it?

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Speaker 1: So I think you should have a deep conversation with

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Speaker 1: your family members and just let them know how it

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Speaker 1: makes you feel. Their comments, them just disregarding his feelings

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Speaker 1: and his thoughts. It's just it's not it's not fun.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna push you guys away, And I think you

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Speaker 1: should definitely state that and say it's gonna push me

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Speaker 1: away if you guys continue to do this. I don't

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Speaker 1: think it's fair. And when you speak with love and

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Speaker 1: you speak from the heart, it usually reaches the heart.

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Speaker 1: So maybe they're just messing around a lot of the time.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know. I don't know how the conversations go,

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Speaker 1: but maybe you'll find something out in that conversation and

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Speaker 1: you guys can discuss it. So that is my suggestion.

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Speaker 1: It is a tough one, but hey, it's your reality

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Speaker 1: and you guys just have to kind of ride the wave.

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Speaker 1: I guess you know it'll get better, God willing. I

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Speaker 1: hope so, because it is tough something that's affecting us all.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, it's not all your husband's fault at

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Speaker 1: all anyways. But I hope that works and I hope

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Speaker 1: that helps very much. And thank you so much for

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Speaker 1: your question. Okay, guys, So the next question comes from

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Speaker 1: TC Hi Chicky.

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Speaker 4: So I would like to ask how do you and

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Speaker 4: your spouse navigate pain for say, bills and like when

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Speaker 4: you go out. I tend to feel that I am

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Speaker 4: always pain for half or when we go out, and

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Speaker 4: at times it feels a little one sided when we

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Speaker 4: both make good money.

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Speaker 1: Okay, TC. So if you both make good money, I

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Speaker 1: don't understand why he wouldn't pay a little more, you know.

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Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything wrong with you guys splitting

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Speaker 1: the check here and there. Sometimes you could say, hey,

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Speaker 1: I got it today, or he can say, oh, I

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Speaker 1: got it today, or let's split it today. Or he

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Speaker 1: can be a gentleman and say hey, I'm gonna pump

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Speaker 1: and fill your gas tank, or I'm gonna take you

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Speaker 1: to dinner today. I am more of like the fifty

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Speaker 1: fifty type of chick. You know. I learned from past

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Speaker 1: relationships that if I don't state what is bothering me,

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Speaker 1: It's going to harbor in my heart and I'm going

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Speaker 1: to grow resentment towards a person. And I have had

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Speaker 1: a partner that took care of everything and was very

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Speaker 1: well off, and I didn't feel so good with that

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Speaker 1: because there were always strings attached. And then I was

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Speaker 1: in a relationship where I had to take care of

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Speaker 1: mainly everything, and then that didn't feel too good. And

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Speaker 1: now I'm in a relationship where, honestly, like he takes

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Speaker 1: care of his bills when we go out, he pays,

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Speaker 1: you know, for dinner, and if for whatever reason he's like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you know I can't today, I'm like, don't even trip.

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Speaker 1: I got you, you know, or we split the bill.

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Speaker 1: I think it's just having that conversation early on and

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Speaker 1: just letting him know. If it's starting to bother you, you

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Speaker 1: got to talk about it. You got to tell him, hey,

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Speaker 1: it does feel one sided, like don't get comfortable or

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Speaker 1: don't get used to me always paying. I don't mind splitting,

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Speaker 1: but it would feel nice if you took me out

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Speaker 1: to dinner and I didn't have to pay. I think

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Speaker 1: if you are honest and straight up and say it

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Speaker 1: with love, I'm telling you it's all about how we

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Speaker 1: deliver our message that makes the biggest difference. But if

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Speaker 1: it's bothering you, you got to bring it up sooner

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Speaker 1: rather than later, because you're going to start feeling unattracted

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Speaker 1: to him. It's going to affect your sex life. It's

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Speaker 1: just a whole thing. So yeah, girl, especially if you

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Speaker 1: guys are married, you got to like nip that in

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Speaker 1: the bud soon so that it doesn't cause more issues

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Speaker 1: down the line. So that is my advice to you.

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Speaker 1: I hope it works out, let us know, keep us updated. Okay, guys,

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Speaker 1: moving on to Sergio.

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Speaker 3: Hi, kikiS. I just wanted to say that I love

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Speaker 3: you and thank you so much for being an inspiration

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Speaker 3: for all of us Latinos. But I do have a

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Speaker 3: quick question. I want to know how is it that

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Speaker 3: you surpassed being in a very toxic relationship? If you

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Speaker 3: ruin one, what helped you get out? I'm currently in

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Speaker 3: a situation where my partner and I have been together

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Speaker 3: for two years, but three months into a relationship, he's

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Speaker 3: always lied, gone on dating apps, and hooked apps. To

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Speaker 3: this day, still tears out. My character tells me that

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Speaker 3: I'm ugly, that I'm fat, that I have no talent.

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Speaker 3: But I want to know how is it that you

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Speaker 3: did it? You know, you're very inspirational to me and

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Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure to everybody else. But how did you

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Speaker 3: do it? What helped you?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 1: My goodness, I love you too. Thank you for loving me.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate you. Okay, So I'm gonna be real with you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: if you've been with this person for two years, ser Joe,

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Speaker 1: and three months into the relationship he already showed his ass,

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Speaker 1: then you have to take responsibility for being in this

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Speaker 1: toxic relationship because he showed himself very early on and

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Speaker 1: you decided to stay with him this long. I know

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Speaker 1: it's not easy. I know, especially when we're afraid of

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Speaker 1: being alone, and I get it, but there has to

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Speaker 1: come a point in your life where you're like, I

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Speaker 1: need to love myself more. I need to value myself more.

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Speaker 1: I deserve to be loved. It is my God given

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Speaker 1: right to be happy, and it is my responsibility to

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Speaker 1: take care of my heart, my mind, and my soul.

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Speaker 1: And you're not doing that. Because if this guy is

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Speaker 1: telling you that you're fat and you're ugly and you're

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Speaker 1: staying with him, you're not loving yourself enough, and you

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Speaker 1: can't be completely upset with him because you've allued it.

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Speaker 1: So Sergil, in my opinion, if this was Johnny asking

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Speaker 1: me this question, my brother or my sister, I'd say,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but you need to let go of this person.

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Speaker 1: It's going to hurt, You're going to cry, you're going

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Speaker 1: to be sad, you're not gonna want to get out

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Speaker 1: of bed. Sometimes you're gonna yell, but that is all

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Speaker 1: part of healing. But you have to let this person go.

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Speaker 1: If this person is not bringing out the best in you,

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Speaker 1: your partner should want to bring out the best version

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Speaker 1: of yourself and make you feel loved and appreciated and valued.

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Speaker 1: And if that person is not doing it, that is

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Speaker 1: not the person for you. I'm sorry. So my suggestion

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Speaker 1: is cut it off as soon as you can, because

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Speaker 1: him talking to you like that, he does not love

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Speaker 1: you the way you deserve. Sergiol, Please let me know

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Speaker 1: what you decide, Papa, Please love yourself, please please. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna take a deep breath because things like this really

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Speaker 1: upset me. I've been there. I know what it feels like.

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Speaker 1: But you gotta just cut it. Cut the bleeding, stop

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Speaker 1: the bleeding, and endure that pain because it's going to

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Speaker 1: be painful, but that too, shall pass. You will be okay,

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Speaker 1: and you'll rise better. Trust me, I've been there, and

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Speaker 1: when I say that I've been there, I truly mean it.

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Speaker 1: I was with someone, and I won't get too into

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Speaker 1: detail because you know it's your cheekies. We'll have to

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Speaker 1: do a cheeks and chill episode of it. But I

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Speaker 1: was with someone for about four and a half years,

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Speaker 1: and towards the end of the relationship when he felt

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Speaker 1: like he was losing me because he was because he

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Speaker 1: was just not acting nice and doing a lot of

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Speaker 1: things behind my back. I'll never forget the time when

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Speaker 1: he told me, he's like, you know what, go and

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Speaker 1: run because you need to lose weight. And I was like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is the person I don't want to be with,

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Speaker 1: and I'm going to lose weight and I'm going to

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Speaker 1: show you and show myself that I could do it.

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Speaker 1: So I have had someone talk down on me and

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Speaker 1: not make me feel beautiful and did the complete opposite.

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Speaker 1: But I gave him two middle fingers in the air

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Speaker 1: and I said, I'm going to show you. And that's

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Speaker 1: the same person that told me you're not going to

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Speaker 1: be able to make it without me. And I cried

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Speaker 1: and I yelled and I had to move out. It

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Speaker 1: was just so much and it was tough. But look

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Speaker 1: at me now, baby, So Sergio, you got this.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: If I could do it, you could do it too.

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Speaker 3: Please keep me updated.

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Speaker 1: I love you, and I'm sending you a big hug

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Speaker 1: of positivity and confidence and self worth and love. Lots

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Speaker 1: and lots of love. Okay, guys. Last question comes from

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Speaker 1: Yachty Hi Cheeky's.

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Speaker 5: I'm a really big fan of you and your mom,

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Speaker 5: and my question is, like, what is your most craziest

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Speaker 5: memory with your mom, or like one that you just

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Speaker 5: remember a lot and makes you laugh, like if it

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Speaker 5: had to do with her defending you guys, or just

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Speaker 5: anything in general, I would really like to know.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Oh yachty, I love this. Okay, So there

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Speaker 1: are two when I was listening to your question, there

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Speaker 1: are two moments, two times that come into mind.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: So one we were at the ninety nine cent store

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Speaker 1: because we used to love the ninety nine cent store

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Speaker 1: and it's so sad that they're closing them down. But anyways,

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Speaker 1: we love the nine nine cent store. My mom and

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Speaker 1: I would always go, especially right before like the movie theaters.

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Speaker 1: She would take us to the movie theaters, and instead

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Speaker 1: of buying popcorn and everything at the theaters, she would

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Speaker 1: take us in the ninety nine cent store because it

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Speaker 1: was cheaper. Mom was very good with money, by the way. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: so we were at the nine nine cent store and

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Speaker 1: she would kind of let us run around and just

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Speaker 1: choose what we wanted. And my sister Jackie, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I think bumped into a lady in one of the aisles,

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Speaker 1: and the lady was very upset. She was not happy

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Speaker 1: about it, so she yelled at Jackie, my sister, and

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Speaker 1: my mom heard from the other aisle and she said,

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Speaker 1: excuse me, you are not to yell at my daughter.

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Speaker 1: Like they went off. They were like even fistfighting. My

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Speaker 1: mom got into it with a lady in the ninety

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Speaker 1: nine cent store and they kicked us out, so it

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Speaker 1: continued in the parking lot. But I'll never forget because

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Speaker 1: that was my mom was Eronaliona. She was a lioness

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Speaker 1: when it came to her children, to her cubs. So

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Speaker 1: that's something that came to mind, and we laughed about

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Speaker 1: it afterwards. It was I mean, obviously a little traumatic

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Speaker 1: because she got in a fight, but I mean she

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Speaker 1: was not having it that someone yelled at her child.

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Speaker 1: So that's one and then another one a beautiful memory.

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Speaker 1: Something that I'll never ever forget is my mom had

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Speaker 1: this thing that, oh my heart, I would take a

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Speaker 1: deep breath. Okay, sometimes at red lights a lot of

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Speaker 1: the times. I mean, obviously this is not safe, don't

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Speaker 1: try it, you guys, please, but at red lights, she

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Speaker 1: would make us get off the car and dance. She'd

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Speaker 1: be like, I dare you, I dare you. So she'd

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Speaker 1: put on music, it could be anything, and she would

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Speaker 1: make us get off on the red lights and dance,

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Speaker 1: so everyone would be watching and she'd be laughing her

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Speaker 1: ass off, and as soon as the light turned green,

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Speaker 1: we were like supposed to run back into the car

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Speaker 1: and like, you know, start moving. I guess I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It just it seems a lot funnier and cooler in

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Speaker 1: the moment. But those are like really cute moments that

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Speaker 1: I lived with her. Obviously, the fighting, you know, it

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Speaker 1: was just because you said, do you remember a time

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Speaker 1: when she defended you guys, So so that came to mind.

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Speaker 1: And then you know, the car thing. We always talk

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Speaker 1: about it with my siblings because it was usually her,

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Speaker 1: her sister, Rosie, me, and it was a lot of

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Speaker 1: fun and one of her friends. So yeah, don't do

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Speaker 1: it at home though, well not at home, but in

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Speaker 1: the car at red lights. It's not safe, guys. Times

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Speaker 1: were different then. Anyways, I love it. I love it

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Speaker 1: when we have a variety of questions. I love you, guys.

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Speaker 1: While I'm helping you, guys, you're helping me. Heal and

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Speaker 1: we're helping the world. So thank you guys for your questions.

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Speaker 1: And if you want to leave me a question, it

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Speaker 1: could be about anything guys, friendships, love, finance. His business

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Speaker 1: is how to start a new business. I will gladly

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Speaker 1: answer your question here on Dear Cheeky's. So leave your

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Speaker 1: question at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill podcast.

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Speaker 1: Let's get a MUCHO and I will see you here

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Speaker 1: on the next episode of Dear Cheeky's. This is a

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Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio and the micro Dura podcast Network. Follow

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Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow me

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Speaker 1: Cheeky's That's c h I q U i s. For

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