1
00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:07,600
Speaker 1: Welcome to the NFL Legends Podcast, an NFL podcast for

2
00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:12,840
Speaker 1: the players, by the players. Here is your host, four

3
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:23,480
Speaker 1: team year NFL veteran and Hall of Famer Anius Williams. Hello,

4
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:27,240
Speaker 1: and welcome to the NFL Legends Podcast. I am Ennius Williams.

5
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:32,520
Speaker 1: And today we're focusing on the best teammate an NFL player,

6
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:36,640
Speaker 1: our legend can have. His wife are a significant of

7
00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,280
Speaker 1: us is getting ready to get hot in here. Thank you,

8
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,839
Speaker 1: Nelly snificant others are you talking about early in my

9
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:49,360
Speaker 1: career or join us to they are our legends and

10
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:52,680
Speaker 1: good friends, not just legends guys a former players, but

11
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:56,760
Speaker 1: good friends. Kwamie Lassiter, who played with me at Arizona

12
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,880
Speaker 1: Arizona Cardinals also played. He has on a Kansas shirt.

13
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:05,720
Speaker 1: Semi condolences, uh, Kwami Lasseter wanting four or four interceptions

14
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,960
Speaker 1: in one game to help us get into the playoffs

15
00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:11,679
Speaker 1: against San Diego Charges. We got Mike Rucker, he Nebraska.

16
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:15,119
Speaker 1: He's excited about coach Frost getting ready to bring back

17
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:18,200
Speaker 1: the glory days. So he's really excited. And as many

18
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,600
Speaker 1: you may know, Mike Rucker played with the Carolina Panthers.

19
00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:26,559
Speaker 1: Just outstanding, UH, defensive player getting after the quarterback quarterbacks

20
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:31,040
Speaker 1: who have retired of still having nightmares about Mike. Then

21
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,200
Speaker 1: we got this other guy, Man, this guy I'm always

22
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:39,880
Speaker 1: talking to the great all wise Ed Reynolds. I can

23
00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:43,160
Speaker 1: remember being at Pro Bowls. I'm glad I wasn't a

24
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:47,080
Speaker 1: person that got in trouble because it's always around with

25
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,480
Speaker 1: that dog on Ciggard not lit in his mouth, and

26
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:54,160
Speaker 1: I just know he's holding it down. He's watched your

27
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,920
Speaker 1: surveillance cameras, but his love and passion having played for

28
00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:02,080
Speaker 1: New England Patriots and you know versity of Virginia Cavalier

29
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:05,040
Speaker 1: and so glad to have you guys. So let's jump

30
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:08,000
Speaker 1: right in. Hey man, that's a big topic. Now, that's

31
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,800
Speaker 1: a big topic. Man. Uh. My dad makes a statement,

32
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,919
Speaker 1: just for anyone that's listened. My dad makes this statement.

33
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,679
Speaker 1: He says, son is not who is not? We who

34
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,840
Speaker 1: are older is not that we're much smarter younger people.

35
00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,840
Speaker 1: It's just we've seen things more often. So as we talk,

36
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:30,320
Speaker 1: the goal is our experiences share with somebody coming behind

37
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:34,919
Speaker 1: us so they can learn either fom our successes are

38
00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:37,720
Speaker 1: the things we were unsuccessful with, And there's probably none

39
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:42,880
Speaker 1: that impacts the player greater than the wife significant others

40
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,240
Speaker 1: are some other people outside those circles. So let's just

41
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,000
Speaker 1: take it there, right, Mike, why don't you start? Man?

42
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:53,160
Speaker 1: That was about It's one of those things where being

43
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,960
Speaker 1: you know, my wife and I we met our junior

44
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,920
Speaker 1: in college, so we kind of kind of got to

45
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,840
Speaker 1: know each other, but once we got into the league,

46
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,440
Speaker 1: it was almost like another world. And so we've always

47
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:06,360
Speaker 1: had to kind of adapt and then trying to understand

48
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:10,840
Speaker 1: this this navigation of life through relationships and then just

49
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,120
Speaker 1: being in the locker room because there's a lot of uncertainty,

50
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,959
Speaker 1: not knowing what's in front of us. It always started

51
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,040
Speaker 1: with just trying to be humble and as trying to

52
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,240
Speaker 1: grow together and me trying to understand and know her

53
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,359
Speaker 1: and vice versa. But there was times where things have

54
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:27,600
Speaker 1: changed where you know, we went one in fifteen, so

55
00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:30,240
Speaker 1: the stuff that I was bringing home, how is she

56
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,480
Speaker 1: helping me deal with that stuff? So often it was

57
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,839
Speaker 1: so much about me, and there was a point where

58
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,720
Speaker 1: I had to realize that it wasn't just about me.

59
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:41,920
Speaker 1: There was somebody else in my life that I need

60
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,440
Speaker 1: to understand her, especially in the transition part where I

61
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:48,720
Speaker 1: probably really needed her the most understand that she has

62
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:50,800
Speaker 1: needs to and she's put a lot of things on

63
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,720
Speaker 1: the back burner for us to be able, for for

64
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,960
Speaker 1: me to be able to do what I loved, I

65
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,400
Speaker 1: need to understand that she has goals in life too.

66
00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:01,800
Speaker 1: And so then it was like, how do I support her?

67
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,600
Speaker 1: So my biggest thing is always asking questions, whether it's

68
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:09,080
Speaker 1: about the kids or or family or my wife. I'm

69
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,960
Speaker 1: always asking somebody older kind of gets you alluded in

70
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,920
Speaker 1: the beginning. So I'm trying to go to people that

71
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:17,560
Speaker 1: have been married thirty forty years and what are you

72
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:21,600
Speaker 1: guys doing? So date night is not negotiable. Day night

73
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:25,480
Speaker 1: is not negotiable. So sometimes the kids are like the

74
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,320
Speaker 1: date night is. We try to make it every Friday.

75
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:31,160
Speaker 1: If something comes up, it's gonna be Saturday. It could

76
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,640
Speaker 1: be as simple as us just going to get you know,

77
00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:35,760
Speaker 1: fast food, or it could be a sit down dinner,

78
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,760
Speaker 1: or it could be a weekend or something. But we

79
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,200
Speaker 1: make sure that we have time that we can unline.

80
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,320
Speaker 1: I can know about her, she can know about me.

81
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,880
Speaker 1: We can laugh, we can talk talk, or it could

82
00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,080
Speaker 1: be with another couple. So we try to mix it up,

83
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:51,279
Speaker 1: but we want the kids to understand that before them

84
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:54,200
Speaker 1: it was mommy and daddy. So my thought is, hey,

85
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,120
Speaker 1: I need we need to stay again, and we need

86
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,560
Speaker 1: to know each other through the beginning, the middle, in

87
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:02,360
Speaker 1: the end. Ed you and I have talked, talked about

88
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:06,080
Speaker 1: the boys, and and you've even communicated you and your

89
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,560
Speaker 1: wife and your partnership and the decision that you make

90
00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:12,680
Speaker 1: and have made. How has that support been as a

91
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:16,599
Speaker 1: player and then now transitioning and have been out the

92
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,560
Speaker 1: league for a little while. It's funny you're asking, is

93
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,520
Speaker 1: listening to Mike. I was one of those that when

94
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,000
Speaker 1: I first got into the NFL, I was also in

95
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,080
Speaker 1: the military, and so being an infantry officer and in

96
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,320
Speaker 1: the in the NFL, I always said, I'm not getting

97
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,840
Speaker 1: married them thirty. If I'd have been in the army,

98
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,400
Speaker 1: I would have never got married. And is there a

99
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:41,440
Speaker 1: reason reason? Because I always said that number? Is because

100
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,880
Speaker 1: I felt like, the way you have to put yourself

101
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,000
Speaker 1: into this sport or into the service of your country

102
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,200
Speaker 1: and the army, you're not going to be able to

103
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,240
Speaker 1: take that stuff home. So why would you put that

104
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,599
Speaker 1: burden on somebody else when you've accepted this burden? You know,

105
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,960
Speaker 1: I was a free agent when I went into the NFL,

106
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,719
Speaker 1: and I got released and then brought back, and then

107
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:04,720
Speaker 1: I came and stayed for the next eleven years. And

108
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,440
Speaker 1: when you get released in the back room replayed back

109
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,120
Speaker 1: when I came to the league in three you had

110
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:12,080
Speaker 1: a hundred and twenty people in train account, so they're

111
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,920
Speaker 1: knocking on the door every every morning you hear somebody boom,

112
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:18,320
Speaker 1: boom boom bringing playbook. So it wasn't you had a

113
00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:22,000
Speaker 1: set cut day, people getting cut every day. So from

114
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,560
Speaker 1: that standpoint, it was it was kind of like, hey,

115
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,920
Speaker 1: I don't I don't. I don't not want to get

116
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:31,160
Speaker 1: myselves into a relationship. That's uh, And maybe it was selfish.

117
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:36,039
Speaker 1: I met my wife by accident, by complete accident. We

118
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,720
Speaker 1: grew up ten miles to meet you, and I never

119
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:42,080
Speaker 1: knew her. We met bumped until I came back some

120
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,200
Speaker 1: of my best friend in college. I said, look, I

121
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,360
Speaker 1: met the girl I'm gonna marry. I don't know when,

122
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:53,800
Speaker 1: I don't know how how old was I when I

123
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,760
Speaker 1: met her. Two years later, I'm playing in the league.

124
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,359
Speaker 1: I'm sending it home in the all season. Her mother

125
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:05,080
Speaker 1: stops by. Her mother knew my my mother, she stopped by.

126
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:09,279
Speaker 1: She said, you in town. You know Pama's home. I said, really,

127
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:17,000
Speaker 1: you've told you boy, you're gonna marry. I told your

128
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:20,000
Speaker 1: house doing all seasons, all season. Two years later she said,

129
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,200
Speaker 1: Pama's home, Pam's working at your My wife end up

130
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:27,320
Speaker 1: getting a job at my hospital in my hometown. She

131
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:31,320
Speaker 1: was a nurse, and we reconnected and we got married,

132
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:36,040
Speaker 1: and it was funny. After we got married, I made sure,

133
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,640
Speaker 1: similar to what Mike was talking about, we had our

134
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:42,360
Speaker 1: individual career. So Pam would staying nursing, and then she

135
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,640
Speaker 1: would fly up for all the home games, or she

136
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,440
Speaker 1: would fly up on vacation time. And then when I

137
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,120
Speaker 1: left football and I came home, we were together. I

138
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,480
Speaker 1: did my military stuff in the all season while she's

139
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:56,680
Speaker 1: still nursed. So she kept her career until we started

140
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,760
Speaker 1: having children. Then we made a decision when we started

141
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:03,600
Speaker 1: having children, all right, it's important that we have It

142
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,840
Speaker 1: was just important to me because my mother and father

143
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:09,480
Speaker 1: and my aunts and uncles and things I witnessed throughout

144
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:12,239
Speaker 1: my life to the woman's at home with the children.

145
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:17,320
Speaker 1: And we both made that decision. And because of that partnership,

146
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,920
Speaker 1: I can honestly say if I hadn't got married, I

147
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,920
Speaker 1: wouldn't have been a successful in the NFL and in

148
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:27,840
Speaker 1: the military if it wasn't for that marriage. So it's

149
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,040
Speaker 1: funny that that perception I had at first, I wasn't

150
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,280
Speaker 1: gonna get married, But if I hadn't got married, I

151
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,400
Speaker 1: wouldn't have been as successful as I was. You know

152
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,000
Speaker 1: a key word I heard, I heard ed sake harmy

153
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:42,760
Speaker 1: was partnership. Partnership absolutely, And when we double back, I

154
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:46,040
Speaker 1: still get the question. Today's current players that asked me

155
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:50,000
Speaker 1: the question, Hey man, he it is man. How do

156
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,199
Speaker 1: you know when you got the right one? You get

157
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:56,760
Speaker 1: that question? And I mean they're eagerly asking. And I said,

158
00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,560
Speaker 1: and you just mentioned something. I said, fellas, when you

159
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,560
Speaker 1: find a woman who maybe love you, even like you,

160
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:08,679
Speaker 1: I got her own life. You know where she got

161
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:13,360
Speaker 1: some goals. You possibly found a candidate to at least

162
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:17,040
Speaker 1: strongly consider. Talk to m Kwami. That was Erica. She

163
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:20,120
Speaker 1: girls already to kom Lata something that she's smart, So

164
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:26,080
Speaker 1: you'll kick your coverage, no question. But I didn't. I

165
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,520
Speaker 1: didn't want to get married. But I know Mike, knowing

166
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,240
Speaker 1: his wife says his junior year in college, I don't

167
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:34,400
Speaker 1: know Eric's is my sophomore year, junior or in high school.

168
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,280
Speaker 1: So when you talk about these guys, how do you

169
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,080
Speaker 1: know when you found the right one. I knew I

170
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,360
Speaker 1: had the one because she knew me when I was nothing.

171
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,480
Speaker 1: But then once I got into league, if it wasn't

172
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:48,520
Speaker 1: for her, I didn't want to be a household with

173
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,000
Speaker 1: two parents. But there was really just one parent there.

174
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,360
Speaker 1: So me not getting drafted and you mentioned that me.

175
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:55,920
Speaker 1: Now you get drafted. So I'm on age all the

176
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,560
Speaker 1: time and they see me. But when I get home,

177
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,800
Speaker 1: I couldn't take that stuff home. Absolutely, So Eric allows

178
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,880
Speaker 1: us to have a guesthouse, so I'll go in there

179
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:08,120
Speaker 1: decompressed while I stay back after work watching film. And

180
00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:10,720
Speaker 1: you know, just being able to have a partner who

181
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,760
Speaker 1: understood you. Say that again, being able to have a

182
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:18,880
Speaker 1: partner who understands, who understands you. You've got a partner

183
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,040
Speaker 1: who understands you. She know, Okay, he's on one the day,

184
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,360
Speaker 1: Go get your fifteen minutes. But when you come back

185
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:28,440
Speaker 1: and here, you better be right. And then as I

186
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,600
Speaker 1: got in the lead, I thought she thought she was

187
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,360
Speaker 1: more important to me. I said, you you didn't have

188
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:37,160
Speaker 1: any knee surgeries? What are you doing? But if she

189
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,280
Speaker 1: doesn't do what she do and where she is now

190
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,280
Speaker 1: with the NFL and off the field and wives and

191
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:44,920
Speaker 1: stuff like that, there's a lot of information I wouldn't

192
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:48,040
Speaker 1: have because of her. Now share that the tension that

193
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,440
Speaker 1: you have because you said, y'all had a conversation and

194
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,360
Speaker 1: she was doing so much, and you said, I'm in

195
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,760
Speaker 1: the league, not you explaining that tension and how you

196
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,760
Speaker 1: guys were able to work through. I think that tension

197
00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,720
Speaker 1: comes from me not being drafted. Said you must don't

198
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,440
Speaker 1: know how hard it is, And a lot of times

199
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:06,440
Speaker 1: I say this to myself, but and my actions. Yeah,

200
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,600
Speaker 1: you can't be that aggressive with your wife, even though

201
00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:12,080
Speaker 1: she's your backbone. You can't be there aggressive because at

202
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,319
Speaker 1: some point she's gonna be in. Now you're arguing about

203
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:17,880
Speaker 1: nothing that she had no control of. She had no

204
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:21,319
Speaker 1: control of this, so she had to I had to understand,

205
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:24,880
Speaker 1: like when you told these young guys, you find a

206
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:26,719
Speaker 1: woman who has her own thing going on. She has

207
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,439
Speaker 1: a life too, So it's not just about you. It's

208
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,560
Speaker 1: about bringing it all together and becoming one. I got

209
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,800
Speaker 1: all boys. I got boys, and so I don't want

210
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,679
Speaker 1: my um my boys to see this. I want them

211
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:40,679
Speaker 1: to see how to treat a woman, you know, when

212
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,840
Speaker 1: they get older and understand that some stuff is gonna

213
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:47,439
Speaker 1: happen in your relationship. Don't don't turn and run. Because

214
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,480
Speaker 1: my grandfather told me one time, don't never do anything

215
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,080
Speaker 1: or make a decision out of anger. That was one

216
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,160
Speaker 1: of the best conversations I had my grandfather. I was

217
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,520
Speaker 1: at home. He's never seen he never seen me upset,

218
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,360
Speaker 1: never seen me Matt and I've never seen him upsetting

219
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,120
Speaker 1: man at one time, and I got scared because I've

220
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:07,440
Speaker 1: never seen him. I've never seen him upset. He said, Kwamie.

221
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:08,959
Speaker 1: I ran, I got out the house. I think it

222
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:12,280
Speaker 1: was me and Ericle's we were in college then, So

223
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,280
Speaker 1: I get out the house. He said, come on, sit

224
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,319
Speaker 1: on porch, started talking about started talking to me about

225
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,839
Speaker 1: life situations. Best conversation I've had with a man. That's

226
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,440
Speaker 1: the only man I ever seen in my life until

227
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:23,839
Speaker 1: I got in the lead and I saw some grown

228
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,200
Speaker 1: men is going about their business the way you're supposed to.

229
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,719
Speaker 1: And I never forget that. So I tell my tell

230
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,880
Speaker 1: my boys, don't make any decision out of angers. If

231
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,920
Speaker 1: you got to think about it, think about it again,

232
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,880
Speaker 1: you can. You never had the lot to me. You

233
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,280
Speaker 1: definitely have your mom because she's gonna baby you, but

234
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,640
Speaker 1: you never had the lot to me because I don't

235
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:42,760
Speaker 1: know how to get you out of trouble if youre

236
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,160
Speaker 1: lying to me, and I need to know why you had,

237
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,120
Speaker 1: why you thought that was the right thing to do.

238
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:52,640
Speaker 1: That's strong. So my Tracy, my my college sweetheart. Yeah,

239
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,760
Speaker 1: I mad as a junior And just like some of

240
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:59,240
Speaker 1: you guys, there's a proverb that says there's something that's

241
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,600
Speaker 1: too one of and then you can't even figure out.

242
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,360
Speaker 1: And that's a man when he meets a woman they loved.

243
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,800
Speaker 1: In other words, how a man reacts, how all of

244
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:11,160
Speaker 1: a sudden he goes from that obstinate cat to Dalco

245
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:14,800
Speaker 1: and now he's a loving person, right because you never,

246
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,160
Speaker 1: you never you want to be tough the whole time

247
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,240
Speaker 1: because what you did, I'm like, wait, man, I'm crying

248
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:22,280
Speaker 1: it the movie, So you get a pass that it

249
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:28,960
Speaker 1: was Brian. So it was Brian, and I, like I said,

250
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,960
Speaker 1: I wasn't getting married he was fifty right to fifty

251
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,040
Speaker 1: because I don't even know where I came up with that.

252
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,320
Speaker 1: But one thing that changed my life for my wife

253
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:40,839
Speaker 1: was So we were dating and when we got married

254
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,840
Speaker 1: my second year of the league, I was drafted ninety one.

255
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:47,960
Speaker 1: We got married Jane, and uh I was I was

256
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:52,200
Speaker 1: named NFC Defensive Player of the Year. So in Arizona.

257
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,400
Speaker 1: So she's my girl, right, She's getting an NBA at

258
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,839
Speaker 1: the University of Illinois. So we get home after the

259
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,440
Speaker 1: season and I'm I'm smelling myself, I'm going to get

260
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:04,640
Speaker 1: I'm saved. But I'm like, man, I'm I'm it right right.

261
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:14,480
Speaker 1: So I'm like, man, I got right, and man, she

262
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:18,600
Speaker 1: broke out with me. She broke over with me, and

263
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,440
Speaker 1: they gave me an opportunity to get even more focused

264
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,800
Speaker 1: my relationship with christ really and it's one of the

265
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,120
Speaker 1: best things that ever happened to me. And then to

266
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,120
Speaker 1: hear her explain it, So any any any wise or

267
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,800
Speaker 1: significant others even listening to this now, sometimes we need

268
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:37,560
Speaker 1: conscious interrupts. No question. When she broke over with me,

269
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,200
Speaker 1: you know, even though here's what she said. One she

270
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:44,960
Speaker 1: wouldn't ask my calls. She cried, she said, I go

271
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:46,840
Speaker 1: to shower and cry. She had a twin sister. They

272
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,680
Speaker 1: were together bo getting the NBA's but she said to

273
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,680
Speaker 1: make the decision. And she said her mother, my mother

274
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:57,480
Speaker 1: in law, who rest our soldiers passed, said to her,

275
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:02,880
Speaker 1: if you let him go and they come back, but

276
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,920
Speaker 1: they come back a person that you can see yourself

277
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:12,280
Speaker 1: married too, then you know it's time. And so as

278
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:19,680
Speaker 1: they get kind of quiet here, that's one of the

279
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:24,280
Speaker 1: moving script. You might make me cry. That is that

280
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:28,560
Speaker 1: is so true because it's my relationship. The thing that

281
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,600
Speaker 1: I loved about it when it started off. My wife

282
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,760
Speaker 1: didn't know nothing about football. She go to the football

283
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:37,400
Speaker 1: game and she didn't know anything. No, I don't understand it.

284
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,280
Speaker 1: It's to this is to that at first, and I

285
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,920
Speaker 1: just laugh because it was kind of funny. And then

286
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:45,000
Speaker 1: about the midway after you get married. Next thing, you know,

287
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,720
Speaker 1: you come out of the stands. She and your wife

288
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,920
Speaker 1: looks at you said, you know, you missed two tackles today.

289
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:54,440
Speaker 1: It's again it's seeing that transition. But everything that you

290
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:58,080
Speaker 1: just described is so so, so very true. It was

291
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,520
Speaker 1: great that she was she got It's great my wife

292
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,720
Speaker 1: was a nurse because I used to have to go

293
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:06,040
Speaker 1: pick up the nurses and blizzards. And then you realize,

294
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,000
Speaker 1: you know, the things that you do is playing a

295
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:12,760
Speaker 1: game and they're saving lives, and it's all of a

296
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,320
Speaker 1: sudden you say, what I'm doing is not so important.

297
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:19,440
Speaker 1: How difficult is it? I want to get to how

298
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,320
Speaker 1: you learned to handle adverse you on the field, heights

299
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:26,440
Speaker 1: help you handle adversity at home, But before that, how

300
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:32,880
Speaker 1: difficult is it for us, these these gladiators to realize

301
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,960
Speaker 1: we need help? Oh that was That's a tough one

302
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:39,480
Speaker 1: because I thought I got this because I hold a

303
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,680
Speaker 1: lot of stuff in. I said, I got this, and

304
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:45,480
Speaker 1: she always know something wrong, but I'm thinking I'll figure

305
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,320
Speaker 1: it out. I figured out because even with the football,

306
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,560
Speaker 1: I'm saying I'm supposed to what I'm doing, especially after

307
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,440
Speaker 1: having kids. Everything I started doing from that point on

308
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,840
Speaker 1: was for my kids, so I make sure they were straight.

309
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,520
Speaker 1: But I would hold stuff in, And it was very

310
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,720
Speaker 1: difficult to start letting go and start trusting her. What

311
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:08,359
Speaker 1: my feeling is more of information, start trusting her with Okay,

312
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,840
Speaker 1: she got this, she got the boys. If I'm not around,

313
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:14,800
Speaker 1: they're gonna be okay. But it was tough too. Eventually

314
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,560
Speaker 1: let go and say what caused you to finally started

315
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:21,240
Speaker 1: letting go? She was day one. She's a day one girl.

316
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,080
Speaker 1: She was day one. If I couldn't trust her with

317
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:27,680
Speaker 1: my life, why was she in my life? Wow? Yeah, Mike,

318
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,960
Speaker 1: I think I think my ma I was when I

319
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,320
Speaker 1: decided that we were going to retire, We're gonna be done.

320
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,359
Speaker 1: I was scared. I was scared for what was in

321
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:42,080
Speaker 1: front of us, because since being six years old and

322
00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:45,280
Speaker 1: playing this game, I've always been in somewhat control. Hold

323
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:50,879
Speaker 1: up the big Mike. Scared. Yeah, because I'm going in

324
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,840
Speaker 1: uncharted territories now, Like so on football field, I can

325
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,760
Speaker 1: control if I go to the weight room, I can

326
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:59,200
Speaker 1: control what I eat, all these things that the output

327
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:00,840
Speaker 1: was me on what I did on the field, I

328
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,840
Speaker 1: could control someone. And at some point I came to

329
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,000
Speaker 1: the conclusion, all right, this is gonna be done. This

330
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:10,040
Speaker 1: transition pieces next in front of me. I don't necessarily

331
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:12,560
Speaker 1: have control over that, you know, I don't know what's

332
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,639
Speaker 1: next and what's right around the corner. So I was.

333
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,280
Speaker 1: I was nervous about what was going to become of us,

334
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,959
Speaker 1: and then I was also nervous about me and my

335
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,000
Speaker 1: feelings and am I going to be able to do this.

336
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,520
Speaker 1: It's one of the things I did is I just

337
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:29,600
Speaker 1: entrenched myself with her, meaning that we we did the

338
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,359
Speaker 1: date nights and everything, but I was just really into

339
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:35,960
Speaker 1: her and and we were underneath each other quite a bit,

340
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,720
Speaker 1: and we almost kind of like held on to each

341
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,960
Speaker 1: other through this transition. And I felt like, if I

342
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,119
Speaker 1: could get a year out, I can look back and

343
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,199
Speaker 1: see what I did right and wrong, and then we

344
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 1: can adjust on the fly from there. And I think

345
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:52,479
Speaker 1: in that transition I got to know other parts of

346
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:56,640
Speaker 1: her and vice versa. The biggest thing, though, is communication.

347
00:18:56,840 --> 00:19:00,200
Speaker 1: When we go into that huddle, we communicate our our

348
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,360
Speaker 1: our safety or a linebacker. He gives us a command,

349
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,560
Speaker 1: and then we go out and then we start doing checks,

350
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,720
Speaker 1: we start looking at formations and everything, but we're communicating

351
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,840
Speaker 1: to one another. And I think that that's where I

352
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,040
Speaker 1: started realizing I need to be able to communicate better

353
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,359
Speaker 1: with her, because before it was like come on from practice,

354
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:19,960
Speaker 1: what are you gonna eat? Okay, the kids this boom,

355
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,840
Speaker 1: and we still had a lot of structure. But now

356
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,239
Speaker 1: we had a little bit more freedom, and so we

357
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,560
Speaker 1: needed to be able to communicate. And that's what I

358
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 1: needed to work on, and we were open with each other.

359
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,920
Speaker 1: I had to some of that stuff there that locker

360
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,560
Speaker 1: room pillow talking we couldn't do. I needed to be

361
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 1: open with her. I needed to share with her the

362
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:40,720
Speaker 1: side of football that maybe she didn't necessarily knew or

363
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,520
Speaker 1: no that was going on necessarily, that what you were going.

364
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:47,280
Speaker 1: So you're helping her understand you better and what I

365
00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:49,879
Speaker 1: came through through the locker room that maybe I wasn't

366
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:53,679
Speaker 1: sharing during the seasons as I was being active. So

367
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 1: then that allowed her to kind of see me in

368
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,200
Speaker 1: a different light, and then she was able to talk

369
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,560
Speaker 1: to me about what she went through and where we

370
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:04,280
Speaker 1: needed to go to. So communication is one thing, especially

371
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,440
Speaker 1: in that first twelve day ten months, that I really

372
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,639
Speaker 1: tried to work on. I want to come to you

373
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 1: in the second head. It's a good picture I like

374
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:16,119
Speaker 1: to paint for all of us as men. Every marriage

375
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:21,160
Speaker 1: go through challenges, right, all of us go through transitions. Right.

376
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:24,040
Speaker 1: This is one of the most difficult transition any human

377
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 1: can go through. Right, because you had all of this

378
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,679
Speaker 1: and people assume you're fine because you've got money in

379
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 1: your bank account, So what's wrong with y'all? Right? The

380
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,360
Speaker 1: best way I've heard it describe is a motorcycle, righty.

381
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:40,680
Speaker 1: I've never written them. I'm not a big motorcycle ritor.

382
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,000
Speaker 1: But when two people on the motorcycle, when they're going

383
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,640
Speaker 1: around the curve, they have to marry, have to lean together.

384
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 1: What ends up happening in marriages our relationships when we're

385
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,439
Speaker 1: getting ready to go through these transitions could be at

386
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 1: our age. Now your parents start passing, so you start

387
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 1: going through these things now as you get older that

388
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,760
Speaker 1: you didn't go through before war. So the key that

389
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 1: I found with couples are significant others is when you

390
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 1: go around these curves and you're scared, that's a curve,

391
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,159
Speaker 1: that's a transition. Do you lean together? And in this

392
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:12,920
Speaker 1: case you got in French, what did you do? You

393
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 1: lean together? What typically happens is they lean set beside.

394
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 1: Obviously the the bike falls down. Let's talk about that. Well,

395
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:27,120
Speaker 1: just like Mike. The thing that's very interesting that number one,

396
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,120
Speaker 1: we got married. We grew up not far from each other.

397
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 1: We both have the same values. But the biggest thing

398
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 1: in our relationship to which was always biggest, we had

399
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 1: to we we we met. We had to be people

400
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 1: of the Lord, you know, you had to We're going

401
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:46,480
Speaker 1: to church, you know, for the first five years I

402
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,919
Speaker 1: go to her church on Sunday, we both mission their

403
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 1: Baptist I go to her church on Sunday and did

404
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,800
Speaker 1: she go to my? And I said after time, you know,

405
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 1: as you get into it, I said, look, we got

406
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,119
Speaker 1: to go to one church, so we chose my church.

407
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 1: But that was one of the most foundational settings outside

408
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 1: of love and respect. I think it starts with respect.

409
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 1: To respect is even more important than love because the

410
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,919
Speaker 1: woman you end up with and being partners with, if

411
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,679
Speaker 1: you have so much respect for her that there's a

412
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 1: lot of things that you don't do to people that

413
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:22,400
Speaker 1: you really respect. From that standpoint, that's how from that foundation,

414
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 1: it's how you build through the transition. Now when you're

415
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:28,439
Speaker 1: going into the transition, I had to do it twice,

416
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 1: and we're going through another transition. You know, as you

417
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 1: get so y'all are still young. Once you hit fifty

418
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 1: five and you get ready to go towards sixty, you

419
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 1: hear you run into another transition. But I had to

420
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 1: transition out of NFL and out of the military. So

421
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 1: it's a dual transition. And the only person that can

422
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 1: help me do that because she understood both of them,

423
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 1: because I had to do them and she was there

424
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,119
Speaker 1: all the time, was my wife, And if I didn't

425
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,360
Speaker 1: have my wife, that that transitions would have been horrible.

426
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,639
Speaker 1: I think I might start to because Rookie on something

427
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 1: start telling these young guys and and I'm sitting here thinking,

428
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,400
Speaker 1: especially as as talking, it makes sense. Take the locker

429
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 1: room home. You know, you're in the locker room, you

430
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 1: talk about everything, do anything, and you get home. You

431
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 1: shut down in front of your wife and take the

432
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,879
Speaker 1: locker room home. How the locker room. So create a

433
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 1: locker room with your wife. Created a locker room with

434
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 1: your wife and your kids. So you've been talk everything,

435
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 1: we do anything, We give each other hard time and

436
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 1: it's fun. Then we get home and we gotta be

437
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 1: tough again. We had our first child. So now I'm

438
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:36,399
Speaker 1: my oldest boman knows this girl crying. I'm like, my

439
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:40,159
Speaker 1: parents been married or fifty something years. Um my in

440
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 1: law has been married, um over fifty something years. But

441
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,920
Speaker 1: this marriage thing, this whole separate. Once you get married

442
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:53,880
Speaker 1: on your own, there's no residual necessary. And so there

443
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 1: was this this course we heard about growing kids Guy's

444
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 1: Way and it was in constle ground. So we took

445
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 1: this eighteen week course. During the season, once a week

446
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,400
Speaker 1: we drive in forty minutes, one way, forty minutes coming

447
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:10,360
Speaker 1: back during the season, and it's about parenting, growing kids.

448
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 1: God's way, So I go. We go. The first two times,

449
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 1: the first two times they're talking about the husband wife relationship.

450
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 1: They adn't talking about parenting. I'm like, man, I'm here

451
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 1: to learn how to parent my child. Why are we

452
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 1: talking my husband wife relationship? And here's what they said.

453
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,159
Speaker 1: They said, here's what happened, and this this should be

454
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 1: a Christian portion of it. They said, what happens to

455
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 1: couples when they have common value? In other words, both

456
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 1: them crisis the center and the picture they did it

457
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 1: says like a couple holding hands, crisis in the center.

458
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 1: That's crisis valley, that's the focus. He said. What happens

459
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,919
Speaker 1: is when the child comes, Christ goes out the center.

460
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 1: The child goes into the center, right, and now everything

461
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 1: is focused around the child. And they begin to say.

462
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 1: They said, what you have to understand is you were

463
00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:00,040
Speaker 1: a family before children came. That's the first thing. The

464
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 1: second thing they said, children have an end in a

465
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 1: tuition in terms of the security of the husband wife relationship.

466
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,879
Speaker 1: They said they have been able to track bed wedding

467
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,879
Speaker 1: getting up in the middle of the night. Because the

468
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,200
Speaker 1: first thing he taught us was when you come home.

469
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 1: What happens when y'all come home. Most time, if you

470
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,200
Speaker 1: got kids, the dad and somebody go run to the kids,

471
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 1: right and they got the kids. My wife may be

472
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,239
Speaker 1: doing cooking or vice versa. However you want to do it.

473
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,639
Speaker 1: And they said, do this, no matter how young the

474
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 1: kids are, have a couch time when you first get

475
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,440
Speaker 1: their first fifteen minutes, you guys, just get on the couch.

476
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 1: Let the children see you together even while they're playing.

477
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 1: And they say, initially, if they're young, they're gonna come

478
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 1: try to bother you. But you teach them not this

479
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 1: mommy daddy time. And they said when children get up

480
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 1: in the middle of the night, they said, it's an

481
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,680
Speaker 1: insecurity driving them and they come knocking on the door

482
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 1: because they said that's the only time at night they

483
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,400
Speaker 1: see the husband wife together. But that's when I begin

484
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,199
Speaker 1: to understand the importance of the husband wife relationship. The

485
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,880
Speaker 1: final thing is we close this podcast. What's how great

486
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,240
Speaker 1: is that asset as a as a successful player. It

487
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 1: is the ability to overcome a bad play. That's right. Absolutely,

488
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:15,680
Speaker 1: you're gonna have some bad plays in marriage. That's if

489
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 1: if I can if we can't say anything as we

490
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 1: close this thing out, is we probably can all go

491
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 1: into some stories and something we've had challenges in our marriage, right,

492
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 1: and so that's commonality. So whoever is listening, we want

493
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 1: you to know we don't come here, no perfect guy

494
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 1: sitting around this room, right, and we just have going

495
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 1: into some of the details. Maybe we'll do this in

496
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 1: another private podcast, but no, this We each have had challenges,

497
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:47,359
Speaker 1: but we've worked together, um to overcome them. Thank you Mike,

498
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:51,480
Speaker 1: Thank you Ed, thank you Kwamie, always good, beautiful, Thank

499
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:57,439
Speaker 1: you appreciate it. This has been the NFL Legends podcast.

500
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,359
Speaker 1: To provide feedback or request the topic for discussion, email

501
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 1: us at NFL Legends at NFL dot com. Yeah Yeah,