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Speaker 1: Before we start this week's episode, y'all know, I just

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Speaker 1: came out with my coloring book and I am giving

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Speaker 1: one away to one lucky professional home Girl. So the

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Speaker 1: to put in the subject line free PhD coloring Book.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling y'all the reviews have been amazing and I

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Speaker 1: am so excited about it. So don't miss out on

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Speaker 1: this wonderful, lovely opportunity and enjoin this week's episode and

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Speaker 1: until next time, everyone later, Welcome. You are now listening

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Speaker 1: to Professional Oh hey, Professional home Girls is the kid

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Speaker 1: where you would hear interviews from black women anoymously on

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Speaker 1: stories that will enlighten, and expand on taboo topics. Now,

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Speaker 1: link in the show notes. Below. You can connect with

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Speaker 1: the kid on Instagram at the Professional Homegirl and at

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Speaker 1: the PhD podcast. If you are on Twitter, please follow

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Speaker 1: me at the PhD podcast. Now. If you are all

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Speaker 1: caught up with episode, listen to the bonus episodes by

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Speaker 1: supporting the PSD podcast Patreon account. To support, please visit

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Speaker 1: www dot patreon dot com. Forward slash the PSD podcast asked, now,

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Speaker 1: please keep in mind that all of my guests are Annes.

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Speaker 1: So let's again this week's episode. So I'm super excited

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Speaker 1: about this week's episode because it is with my friend

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Speaker 1: from middle school, right, yeah, okay, perfectly. So I was

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Speaker 1: up one night going down a rabbit hole on Instagram child,

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Speaker 1: and I came across the video of a woman showing

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Speaker 1: that her husband left her after eighteen years together and

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Speaker 1: he cleaned up their apartment that they shared together. So

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Speaker 1: initially I thought like, oh, ship, Like niggas ain't ship.

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Speaker 1: But then when I saw your picture in the story,

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that's so on. So, so before

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Speaker 1: we get into everything, how are you doing? I'm doing Okay?

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Speaker 1: Are you sure? You said you sound like you're a

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Speaker 1: little hesitant. Well, well, when I'm sitting um, I came

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Speaker 1: into my room. The clubbed the door, the mom bore

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Speaker 1: outside of the knowing me. Um, and I had to

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Speaker 1: pay to say I'm okay because you know it's open down.

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Speaker 1: It's like some day then nick day. Nothing. Well, let's

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Speaker 1: start warlder icebreaker. So I feel like we haven't talked

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Speaker 1: in forever. So do you remember us being in school together? Yeah? Okay,

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Speaker 1: So what do you remember about me? And I'll tell

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Speaker 1: you what I remember about you? Um. I remember you

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Speaker 1: being animated. I remember you not being afraid to speak

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Speaker 1: your mind. You know, Hana Field was really closed mm

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Speaker 1: hmm um, and we still okay. I remember being you

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Speaker 1: smart um, and you kind of always gonna go get it.

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Speaker 1: Your hair still had the trade the trade of light,

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Speaker 1: like buck, y'all go get it. So I remember you

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Speaker 1: being confident in yourself. I remember you're being sexy too,

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Speaker 1: like I always felt like, remember we used to always

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Speaker 1: seeing Tony Braxit. Ain't that funny? Like I always felt

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Speaker 1: like you was just like so sexy and like very

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Speaker 1: like sultry. Used to always see Tony Brexon. And I

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Speaker 1: also felt like looking back now that you were a

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Speaker 1: lot older than us mentally. Yeah, I think I've always

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Speaker 1: had a little, a little grand mama spirit. Mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: But I can't only imagine the emotions you've been feeling

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Speaker 1: these past couple of days, especially since your story went viral.

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Speaker 1: Did you expect your story to go vi like it

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Speaker 1: did many when I said this, um my video, I

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Speaker 1: had to hunt your fires, so I ain't the way

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Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna go battle m hmm. So

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Speaker 1: when you started seeing it going viral, like what did

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Speaker 1: you do? What were you thinking? My mission thought was

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Speaker 1: oh ship And then I was like, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I like, I'll the comments people, some people, are you

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Speaker 1: really really rude? Like all comments? I made the mistakes

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Speaker 1: of the first today, probably reading way to many negative comments,

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Speaker 1: but after that, I it is kind of all like

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Speaker 1: all ship it. I shot it all down, Yeah, because

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Speaker 1: I was the reasoning the comments and I'm like, oh wow,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you are really receiving a lot of reactions.

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Speaker 1: And it was just now on Instagram and was on

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Speaker 1: TikTok Facebook. Yeah, that's why I shared it on TikTok.

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Speaker 1: So at the time when I uploaded the video, I

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Speaker 1: had a hunch of powers and I shared it like

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Speaker 1: before going to be I think it was kind of

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Speaker 1: like my releasing to the world. Then the next morning,

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Speaker 1: when I woke up and if I had like almost

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Speaker 1: ten thousand comment I was like, no, that don't care,

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Speaker 1: all right, And then how the video had like kind

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Speaker 1: of taking the life of its own and people started

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Speaker 1: sharing it in all other places like Twitter and Instagram,

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Speaker 1: Like I didn't share it those I don't share it

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Speaker 1: on TikTok, And I know that a lot of women

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Speaker 1: share that they were in the same exact situation or

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Speaker 1: something similar like yours. So how did that make you feel?

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Speaker 1: Hearing that? I was confident when you have people people,

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Speaker 1: I can't understand where you're coming from. Benning was also

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Speaker 1: kind of discouraged the right the fact that people do

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Speaker 1: this like they're awful, Like whole families. I had one

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Speaker 1: lady messaged me like her home, like her husband left

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Speaker 1: her life with, you know, two little kids and just

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Speaker 1: her and like cleared out there their house, like like

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Speaker 1: whole families like are being destroyed this way. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It was, um, it's just mind blowing that they happened

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Speaker 1: as often as it does. Yeah, that's why when I

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Speaker 1: saw the post, I was like, wait, what, because you've

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Speaker 1: been with your husband for almost twenty years. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: we met. We were fifteen thirty five this year. Mm hm,

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Speaker 1: So it sucks and like to you know, to hear

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Speaker 1: like his Fashionneil to read his Facebook post like where

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Speaker 1: all the like lives, just like, oh man, you won't

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Speaker 1: even give the truth in the very end, like you

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Speaker 1: will take everything out of the party. There's still more

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Speaker 1: giving the truth. It's like it's curtful. But I just

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Speaker 1: told myself whatever he needs to tell himself to be

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Speaker 1: able to see the night, it's positively he needs to do.

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Speaker 1: And did you ever think that he would lead the

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Speaker 1: way he did? No? I thought I was worth at

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Speaker 1: least a conversation or at leasta text messages, right, we

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Speaker 1: were texting when I was in there gets and stuff.

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Speaker 1: And if he had you know, had a second power

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Speaker 1: or he was just like, you know, I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: be here when he's eis here, he could at least

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Speaker 1: have to text messages. But the kind just d me

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Speaker 1: walk into that. They really stuck, I guess because I

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Speaker 1: don't think about doing it to people like not in

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Speaker 1: not in that way like militias. Intend just isn't my things,

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Speaker 1: Like I believe in Calma, like wholeheartedly. So I would

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Speaker 1: have assisted the Lisa text message, like that would have

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Speaker 1: been better than just kind of walk me to the

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Speaker 1: blind sided. I feel like I slick. Remember you being

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Speaker 1: in a relationship with him we were kids or am

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Speaker 1: I lying? You know? I met him? Um, we met

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Speaker 1: were nine. We started dating when we were fifteen. Like

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Speaker 1: he was like my first like the real the real

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Speaker 1: boy thing, like my mom like meet him. It's like okay,

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Speaker 1: if things cool, like you can date him over there.

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Speaker 1: And we were like owning off and like you know,

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Speaker 1: um high school and stuff, but then you know, college

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Speaker 1: and stuff. Eventually I thought we got it together, but

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Speaker 1: obviously I was mistaken. Yeah, because I remember, like you

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Speaker 1: having somebody when we was growing up, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I wonder if this is the same person due to

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Speaker 1: the time frame. Yeah, he's been around alone. Yeah, listen

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Speaker 1: my memories. It is no joke every ding. So I know,

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Speaker 1: like any other marriage, I probably had your issues. But

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Speaker 1: were there any red flags that you overlooked? Oh? If

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Speaker 1: I'm honest, which I try to be, there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of the FLEs overlooks, Like I looked over it crazy

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Speaker 1: because I was just talking to my my friend Erica,

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Speaker 1: and I was talking about the things I looked her

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Speaker 1: from when even when we were younger, and my mom

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Speaker 1: used to tell me, Uh, then he feels like he's

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Speaker 1: better than you. You need to be careful with him

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Speaker 1: because like he's been to you, Like our backgrounds were

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Speaker 1: very different. He kind of grew up like me the

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Speaker 1: class you know, I grew up in her and now

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Speaker 1: they just this and um Like even then, like starting

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Speaker 1: really early, like the way he would treat me was

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Speaker 1: kind of show me that he kind of felt and

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Speaker 1: he was kind of doing me a favorite of being

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Speaker 1: with me. But when you don't have like a sense

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Speaker 1: of self work and your iddity, it's kind of like

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Speaker 1: tied to being with this person. Like my life became

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Speaker 1: about shifting and shaping to the person that he wanted

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Speaker 1: me to be. So I could see the side his

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Speaker 1: boxing and beating him, Like it was very important for

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Speaker 1: me to be with him. I mean, the last couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks I've had time to reflect on it. But

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Speaker 1: that's the space that I was in at the time.

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Speaker 1: So it wasn't like self worth wasn't wasn't a thing

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Speaker 1: like for me. He was just like it was tied

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Speaker 1: to him. So if I could change and be who

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Speaker 1: he wants me to be and then he wants me,

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Speaker 1: then everything he's right in the world. And this is

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Speaker 1: kind of like the space that I operated in unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: so it was a lot of stuff. I know it.

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Speaker 1: And I also because I was going through your posts

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Speaker 1: and I saw that you mentioned that your husband was

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Speaker 1: the first male I sided your family to tell you

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Speaker 1: that he loves you. So do you think at one

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Speaker 1: point that you validated yourself worth from other people, especially men,

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Speaker 1: since she wasn't receiving it from home. Yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: I grew up without my dad, so um, I mean

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Speaker 1: like if you started like many earliest for me, So

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Speaker 1: like I grew up without my dad on top of

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Speaker 1: being a listed about back mill of my family. So

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Speaker 1: like you know, I was always kind of taking work

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Speaker 1: in validation from some men especially And I also feel

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Speaker 1: like I remember you being molested too, because somebody We

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Speaker 1: was all growing up. It was kind of all like

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Speaker 1: many of the school we went to, but we was

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Speaker 1: kind of like close in the sense, Yeah, I do

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Speaker 1: missed to get all day like there we had it's

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Speaker 1: like kind of like tight knit and you know, got

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Speaker 1: a little bit different, but we really were. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: like I've shared it a few times, I don't think

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Speaker 1: I actually started to be like helpful ward or like

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Speaker 1: to dig into those issues. And I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: because I remember when I was just prepared for this

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Speaker 1: interview and I was just thinking about all this stuff.

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Speaker 1: He was doing his kids stuff, and I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: remember certain things about her, like I remember your cousin

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Speaker 1: Crystal every day. So let's talk about the events that

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Speaker 1: let up to him leaving. So I know it always

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Speaker 1: really your heart to be an entrepreneur, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like I remember that as kids as well too, mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: So what was his thoughts on it? Um? He was

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Speaker 1: like totally agifted, which is like surprised. It Like at

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Speaker 1: first it seemed like he looked like on board, and

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Speaker 1: then he had like his own experience with entrepreneurships with

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Speaker 1: Angels Virgie and it didn't work out the way that

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Speaker 1: he wanted it to work out. It was partly like

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Speaker 1: eight months I worked a mis bunches at him um

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Speaker 1: I answers assistant manager, and he out he kind of

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Speaker 1: felt like there was a fail because he had to

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Speaker 1: give it up. So I just kind of feel like

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Speaker 1: somewhere and there he started saying it was either he

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Speaker 1: was judging my sperence or where he thinks was gonna

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Speaker 1: be my sperience based on as a spence, or be

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Speaker 1: down even more me to see that he had failed.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm. So what was the conversation like when you

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Speaker 1: decided that you wanted to give entrepreneurship a shot? Um,

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Speaker 1: I try not to use the student to replace, but

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Speaker 1: he literally said to me, Um, the only way that

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Speaker 1: I could be supportive of of your jams is if

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Speaker 1: we lived separately. Yes, I heard that, And while was

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Speaker 1: that like to me, like I have like no clue,

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Speaker 1: like even when I like to say it out now now,

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Speaker 1: like it doesn't make any sense to me. So my

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Speaker 1: first reaction was will read the property to just for

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Speaker 1: canceling because I'm not understanding like where it is coming from.

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Speaker 1: And he couldn't even explain it to me. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if he couldn't or he wouldn't, but it was

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Speaker 1: just that's what it was. When Yeah, and the canceler

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Speaker 1: would ask him, he would ask me, like, I don't

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Speaker 1: understand like where you're coming from this space, and even

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Speaker 1: in counseling, canceling to say You've given me a lot

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Speaker 1: of hell between not really answering the questions. So even

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Speaker 1: with us going through cancling, I don't think he was

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Speaker 1: actually there for help. Looking back there, I think he

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Speaker 1: had already made up in his mind, but he just

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Speaker 1: kind of killed me on this strength, just kept kind

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Speaker 1: of kept stringing me alone. Do you think he was

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Speaker 1: afraid of losion youth since it does take so much

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Speaker 1: time to invest in those in the business, or do

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Speaker 1: you think it was jealousy? Um? Looking at it now,

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Speaker 1: I feel like the easy jealousy. Mm hmm um. Another

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Speaker 1: actually gotten it from a lot of people who've been

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Speaker 1: around us who said that they could despy his jealousy.

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Speaker 1: Um may see that he was r jealous for my

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Speaker 1: spirit like or or my lfe. That's how some people

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Speaker 1: quit it. And I never saw that like being there

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Speaker 1: because I was operating in a space. H. This is

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Speaker 1: for me and my husband. I'm gonna help you know,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna build this light together. Then we're gonna have

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Speaker 1: these kids, and we're gonna regenerational welcome blah blah blah

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Speaker 1: like all this going on. In my mind, it was

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00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,920
Speaker 1: never about me. It was about Earth. So I never

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Speaker 1: saw that. Mm hmm. So how was he in night

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Speaker 1: before you left for your your Veggat trip because you

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Speaker 1: went to Vegas for a business trip. Yeah, so I

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Speaker 1: went to Vegas for a week and before a Nason, Like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, we was kicking it like this is what's

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Speaker 1: so funny to me. I was kicking it one of

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Speaker 1: our favorite dishes to eat. The other crab thing, crab blace.

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Speaker 1: She's gonna to tell crab blades. And I came back

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Speaker 1: from um from Vengas, Um, like we watch movies every

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Speaker 1: night together, um talk. I thought we were talking earnestly.

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Speaker 1: Obviously I was the food on that one, but just

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Speaker 1: talking about our relationship. The last thing he said to

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Speaker 1: me was, um, I don't want to lose you, and

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Speaker 1: I want this to work. You know, I want my

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Speaker 1: wife over there for so I'm leaving like feeling good,

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Speaker 1: like you know, aside from me later finding out he

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Speaker 1: took my wedding rain. Um, aside from like my rain

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Speaker 1: like not being where I left it, and then everything's

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Speaker 1: like a dude, so I actually took my rain off

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Speaker 1: to eat that Saturday. I don't like food, you need it.

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Speaker 1: And then the Sunday my rain wasn't on the table

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Speaker 1: and I kept telling him my spirit telling me you

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Speaker 1: got my ring. I was like, I don't know why

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Speaker 1: you got my rain, but I want my rain. It ever,

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Speaker 1: and when I came back, you know, the apartment being creative,

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Speaker 1: then he had left his rings. So now I know

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Speaker 1: why I need to mm hmm. So are you was away?

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Speaker 1: How was he acting like we are texting? Yes, and

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00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:17,120
Speaker 1: we were texting texting Monday and Tuesday Tuesday, eating the

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Speaker 1: text and stopped and I think this when he had

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00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,600
Speaker 1: started moving stuff then, but like all the text messages

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Speaker 1: kind of like stopped, and I started to get like

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Speaker 1: this feely in my stommy, you know, had like you

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00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,160
Speaker 1: know something going on, but you don't really know what

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Speaker 1: going on. Like so from Tuesday night all the way

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Speaker 1: up until I came back, like my sister alone, listen

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Speaker 1: to a minute wrong crying that I will go take

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Speaker 1: the shower, and I just get in their crime. It's

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Speaker 1: like I don't know what's like, what's going on. I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out like what I did, Like everything

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Speaker 1: was just cool, you know, and being like all communications

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Speaker 1: just stopped. It turned out he had she blocked my numbers.

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Speaker 1: I think that is just so crazy to me. But

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00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you why I think it's crazy. So

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00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,800
Speaker 1: by this time you're coming home, your brother in law

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Speaker 1: came and pick you up from the airport. Yeah, and

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00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:17,160
Speaker 1: remind y'all, he helped your husband move everything out. It's

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Speaker 1: the story I got and he, I mean, he knew.

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Speaker 1: It's why I'm not even mad at him like I

308
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,600
Speaker 1: wanted to be when I'm mad at him, because she's

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Speaker 1: brother there at the end of the day, and I

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Speaker 1: know if my stisters told me that she's just gonna

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Speaker 1: do something, whether I tried to talk her out over

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Speaker 1: the night, she was gonna do it, and I was

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Speaker 1: gonna be her keeper. It's like, I'm not even mad

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Speaker 1: at him. But at the same time, it was like

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Speaker 1: a bro, you couldn't give me their head to or

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Speaker 1: what he or nothing, nothing Like I was like, he

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00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:46,960
Speaker 1: couldn't give their hands, So about what I was about

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Speaker 1: to walk up fairs to like nothing. So yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: like y'all in the car, he probably asking you about

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Speaker 1: your trip, you asking him how he's doing. I mean

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00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,600
Speaker 1: I spoke to him, um um, you know, say his

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00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,440
Speaker 1: nickname or whether I spoke to him, got into the car,

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Speaker 1: my sitter lot with me this uh so you know

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Speaker 1: that her husband. So she was like, you're asking him

325
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,800
Speaker 1: how he's just doing and blah blah blah stuff like that,

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Speaker 1: and um, he dropped me off because I had I

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Speaker 1: would have asked my husband to pick me up from

328
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:23,560
Speaker 1: the airport, but he never responded. So his brother in

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00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,960
Speaker 1: the dropped the office um at the house and when

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Speaker 1: I was like going upstairs, I couldn't give in the

331
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:33,760
Speaker 1: house there first, UM the code so the colde was changed.

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Speaker 1: So I had to go downstairs and ask his screen

333
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,119
Speaker 1: because now I realized that he's blocked me at this

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00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,200
Speaker 1: point because I'm called and he gore stressed a voice

335
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,240
Speaker 1: to me. I said, okay, the is fine. Why he

336
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,920
Speaker 1: stopped asking my answering my tasting issues and stuff? I said,

337
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,639
Speaker 1: he's blocked me. So I was like, hey, can you

338
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,720
Speaker 1: ask your friends? You need the code for the door

339
00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:54,560
Speaker 1: or whatever. Sactually didn't even hide outside and stuff like that.

340
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:58,719
Speaker 1: I opened door im needly like started screaming and I

341
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,040
Speaker 1: called um so I did which my sister or whatever?

342
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:06,000
Speaker 1: And I was like this boy, this man has taken everything,

343
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,960
Speaker 1: like everything is gone, like the departments like completely empty

344
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,200
Speaker 1: where I said, the only thing missing his and my jeel,

345
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,879
Speaker 1: Like I'm crying his steaks and like I'm making a

346
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:18,240
Speaker 1: food on the phone or whatever, and um, she's like

347
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,840
Speaker 1: asking him like she was like personally had herds me

348
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,919
Speaker 1: like in the background and stuff like that. Over they

349
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,359
Speaker 1: were like till like she was upset. So she didn't

350
00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:30,120
Speaker 1: know either. H it was a big miss. So we

351
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:37,480
Speaker 1: didn't know, right because y'all the way and Vegas together. Yeah,

352
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,320
Speaker 1: And I also thought it was kind of fun up

353
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,399
Speaker 1: that the only thing that he did dead leave besides

354
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:46,320
Speaker 1: your jury was the wedding dress. Yep, the wading dress

355
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,240
Speaker 1: in the closet, and he left his his wedding band.

356
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,919
Speaker 1: Um hm, unless his wedding dancing over there on the

357
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,359
Speaker 1: pal of Um. It was a little table there was

358
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,480
Speaker 1: in the room. You know, he's reading dancing over there

359
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,160
Speaker 1: on with um a card that I had gave him

360
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,800
Speaker 1: like a vout time today or something I there like

361
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:07,880
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago. You know. So why would

362
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,720
Speaker 1: you say he left? Because I know that's like the

363
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 1: million dollar question that everybody keep asking you, And I

364
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,480
Speaker 1: guess everybody just can't believe that a man would just

365
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:21,479
Speaker 1: lead away that he did. Oh, well. Um. According to

366
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 1: his Facebook post, he left the way that he left

367
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 1: because he didn't want to Tolpy to get involved. I

368
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,760
Speaker 1: didn't like that into initially because I feel like he

369
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 1: was trying to shout all my name or whatever or

370
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,240
Speaker 1: implied that like I would have gotten you know, visor

371
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:42,199
Speaker 1: or something. But for the record, he's the only person

372
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,040
Speaker 1: who has the record. He's the only person who had

373
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 1: he who had to go to court mandated, UM and

374
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:51,639
Speaker 1: your management. I haven't had to go through any of it. Like, so,

375
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 1: I don't know where he thought was gonna happened in

376
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 1: his mind. But he could have told me right now,

377
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,639
Speaker 1: like I mean, what am I going to do? Like

378
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,760
Speaker 1: if you decided that you weren't gonna be there, what

379
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,879
Speaker 1: am I gonna do? But he couldn't. He could have

380
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 1: told me so, I mean, there was his reason. He

381
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 1: saw opportunity and he said that was the best way

382
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,920
Speaker 1: to do things. And since police has never been a factor,

383
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,800
Speaker 1: why we like, why bring that up? That's what kind

384
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,240
Speaker 1: of I felt like it was kind of like a

385
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 1: dig me. He diging me, like I don't I don't understand,

386
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 1: Like there's nothing my husband is almost wipe my side

387
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 1: mm hmm, what am I gonna do to him? And

388
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,600
Speaker 1: I know you kept saying that cheating wasn't a factor

389
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 1: that you know of. Yeah, Like, as far as I know,

390
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,920
Speaker 1: he wasn't cheating. Um, but I can't tell you where

391
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,960
Speaker 1: he is. I can't tell you where he's living. He

392
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,000
Speaker 1: could he could very well be living with somebody, um else,

393
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,080
Speaker 1: he could very well be living with us, with the

394
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,480
Speaker 1: one the lie. I don't know, Like, I don't know

395
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:59,159
Speaker 1: where he is because I haven't spoken at all. He

396
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:03,560
Speaker 1: unblocked me long enough on I was that this pay

397
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,880
Speaker 1: is maybe Monday. He on block. He longereness to message

398
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 1: me on Facebook to say that he's a sorry to

399
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:14,119
Speaker 1: hurt you, and I wouldn't hear them block and right then, Yeah,

400
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 1: that's crazy. So what's next? Or is it too soon

401
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 1: to say? Because how do you come back from this? Well,

402
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:27,360
Speaker 1: it's fine relationships though, I'm gonna need a break. I'm

403
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:32,320
Speaker 1: gonna need a long break actually, um and um, I

404
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 1: think I'm just kind of looking at it as the

405
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 1: opportunity to do I will say that when you ask

406
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,560
Speaker 1: dry for a sign, sometimes sometimes you take this time

407
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: and sometimes you slapp you right in your face. Yeah, Okay,

408
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 1: this was one of those times I got left in

409
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 1: the face, and um, I I feel like it's my

410
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 1: opportunity to really um focus on the things just importting

411
00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:03,359
Speaker 1: me and um um really date in court myself and

412
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,199
Speaker 1: like you to know the things that you know, I

413
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 1: like you love about myself because I've always kind of

414
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 1: led somebody else to take that. What's also so surprised

415
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 1: because I always thought, like, like I said, I always

416
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 1: remember you just being so confident, like and I get it,

417
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 1: like because I have my insecurities as well, but I

418
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 1: just remember you just being like like, I don't know,

419
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: I guess this may sound a little weird because we

420
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 1: were kids, but you just always were so sultry and

421
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 1: like you bore certain things like I don't know, like

422
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 1: you were just like a little diva. See. And I

423
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,159
Speaker 1: think that's kind of like Rob getting back to like, uh,

424
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 1: when I before I got into like him, like we're heavy,

425
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,720
Speaker 1: Like I didn't have like, at least so confidence. I

426
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 1: did have a sense of confidence, Like I had a

427
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 1: sense of like, you know, things that maybe happy or

428
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,359
Speaker 1: feel good and stuff like that. And then sometimes when

429
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 1: you get involved with like the wrong person making stuff

430
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,920
Speaker 1: all the light out of you. I've really had people

431
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 1: tell me I can always tell when you went back

432
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 1: to him because your it's like you would shrink mm hmm,

433
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 1: and like I kind of spit them long time, and

434
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:07,879
Speaker 1: like in this space, it's like I couldn't you too be.

435
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,679
Speaker 1: I couldn't be too animated. I couldn't be you know,

436
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 1: too deep or there or whatever, because it will bother him.

437
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 1: And why I stayed looking at it now everything, like

438
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:19,479
Speaker 1: why I stayed with a man it bothered him, like

439
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 1: my laugh bothered him, like me being too happy about

440
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 1: something bothering him. Like so I was always shrinking and

441
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:29,360
Speaker 1: why I stay just you know you when you when

442
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:32,240
Speaker 1: you know better, you do better. I know better now, right,

443
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,119
Speaker 1: So what was the one thing that you would take

444
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:40,359
Speaker 1: away not from this situation but overall this relationship. Um it,

445
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 1: if it's gonna cost me my piece when this preeton

446
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 1: m that's a fact, child, almost said your name child,

447
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 1: that is a fact. If it's so costing my piece,

448
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 1: I don't want it. Yeah, man's and all there, like

449
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,920
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna you know, I'd up in a gift. Man.

450
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,239
Speaker 1: So actually loved being a wife. So woman's done right.

451
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 1: It is absolutely beautiful thing. But I would tell any

452
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,359
Speaker 1: woman like, don't rush should to get to the altar.

453
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,119
Speaker 1: Don't be looking at like, oh my god, I'm going

454
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,200
Speaker 1: to be thirty five and I'm not married, So what

455
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 1: man take their freedom? I being man, I now I'll

456
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 1: just catch this to be a times. So I know that, Yeah,

457
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,920
Speaker 1: that's a fact, because I think marriage is a beautiful Um,

458
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 1: you know, it's a beautiful thing, but you gotta be

459
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:29,439
Speaker 1: with the right person. Yep, that's that's for sure. So

460
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,240
Speaker 1: I know recently that you became a self love self

461
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 1: love coach, So can you tell us about that journey? Yeah, So, um,

462
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 1: the course itself was, um about it a six months

463
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 1: and this is just to me kind of tapping into

464
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 1: I have to go have to kind of reveal it

465
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 1: to me, like what my um, what my purposes here

466
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 1: on this earth and um, it's kind of revealed this

467
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 1: to me this course and our six months journey, um,

468
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 1: every single day going over different tools and modalities to

469
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 1: kind of tat captain too like my after the authorities,

470
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:05,719
Speaker 1: but also the the foundation of the course teaches like

471
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 1: me as them as the coach, you know, selfuler than

472
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,880
Speaker 1: how to get to their place of you know, appreciation.

473
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 1: They were I can help other women along the journey, um,

474
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 1: and it was definitely UM. I think it was probably

475
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,880
Speaker 1: one of the the nails and the coffin as well,

476
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 1: because I was starting to come to my own the

477
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 1: kind of feel more confident and kind of get back

478
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,120
Speaker 1: to my life and those things that make me special

479
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 1: or I feel like makes me special, um, and the

480
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:37,639
Speaker 1: course just kind of beauty for me. And then I

481
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 1: was just kind of like, this is where I want

482
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,359
Speaker 1: to go, like with my career, because there's so many

483
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 1: of us who are like struggling with like you know,

484
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 1: some someoney us healthy for traumas, use me through sexually

485
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: or otherwise. So many of us, like you know, doubt

486
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 1: our importance in this world. And I just kind of

487
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 1: want to help women like give back to their life

488
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:59,879
Speaker 1: because they really spent unfortunate. The world is cruel to women,

489
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 1: and we spent so much of our lives like fighting

490
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,119
Speaker 1: to just be to just be right, to just be

491
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 1: a sis. And I just kind of wanted to help

492
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,760
Speaker 1: with me at journey. And I read on your one

493
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 1: of your posts that you said that you grew up

494
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:16,960
Speaker 1: in a trauma fields single parent household and I just

495
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 1: knew exactly what you meant because I did as well.

496
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 1: So can you talk more about that? And the reason

497
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,199
Speaker 1: I'm asking is because I know at times from our

498
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 1: childhood things would show up in our adulthood and we

499
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:32,959
Speaker 1: sometimes overlook it because it's familiar. Yeah. Yeah, So I

500
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 1: grew up like so my mom was actually uhls by

501
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 1: one of her mother's boyfriends and uh like my my grandma.

502
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 1: Unfortunately as she took her boyfriend side to put my

503
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: mom out, my mom hand me. Really, your mom had me,

504
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:51,360
Speaker 1: she got pregnancy, had me then I was lessly young. Um,

505
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 1: but you was not to cut you off, but you

506
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 1: was the person who molested her. That's not your dad,

507
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: is that your dad? Now? My um? My dad like

508
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 1: actually went out to the to the military when he

509
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 1: was like he was to you and other than my mom.

510
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 1: So he was seventeen and he went out to the military,

511
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,359
Speaker 1: and um, but like I kind of like I was

512
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:18,120
Speaker 1: molited in five and then something there and like kind

513
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 1: of like started this us cycle. My mom als her

514
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,439
Speaker 1: head and you know, so she was very very hands on.

515
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 1: Like now, I'm not saying anything about the like my

516
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 1: mom raised me. She the b to like my mom

517
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 1: beat my mom beat the hell out of you if

518
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,640
Speaker 1: you breathe the wrong way, like especially when I was younger,

519
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,439
Speaker 1: like she'd beat the hell out of you. I was

520
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 1: caught off, had the names. I was told I was

521
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 1: a mistake, like from very very early, like, um, this

522
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 1: is the stuff that we grow up in in um

523
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 1: because they had to say our parents and the you

524
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 1: know they feel like then they're okay, and so we'll

525
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: turn out out right whatever it burnt, like, I mean,

526
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 1: give punition. The face wasn't nothing, didn't beat cool and

527
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 1: like there was nothing. I don't know if you remember

528
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 1: when it was times I kind of schooled with how

529
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 1: to tell that sad and I have on long sleeves.

530
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 1: My own stuff was was built up so bad, and

531
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 1: she would she would say, I dare you to show

532
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 1: somebody it's who I dare somebody to contact me like

533
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 1: so this like chaos I grew up, you know, grew

534
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,479
Speaker 1: up in and because she was going over with me too, right,

535
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 1: she had me like really young. So it was just

536
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 1: that come combined with like yourself worth before very very

537
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 1: early and I didn't realize like why I was so angry,

538
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 1: especially like in my twenties until I started going to counseling,

539
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 1: and I could remember my first counseling session where I just,

540
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 1: I mean, I think I just deal with everything. And

541
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 1: she gave me the biggest cause she said, David, you've

542
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 1: been carrying me all this time. M that's what happened

543
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 1: to me. Yeah, I definitely listen, child, I have some

544
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 1: stories because you know, when people see people like us,

545
00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 1: they don't think that we've been through things that I

546
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 1: don't ever going school with a bust it up. Mm hmmm.

547
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: So it's just like I definitely understand. So I know

548
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 1: your mom passed away, Now, so how did y'all did

549
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 1: y'all move forward? Like did you forgive he or did

550
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 1: you have a conversation that she apologize? Unfortunately, we never

551
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 1: got to have the conversation that I wanted to have

552
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 1: before she passed away. But I was able to buck

553
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 1: through um in counseling. Um. It was just how way

554
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: I had to do it on my own. You can't

555
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: kind of becomes like double work when you don't, yeah,

556
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 1: when you don't have the other person there to kind

557
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 1: of you know, tell what you want to tell them,

558
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 1: stuff like that. But I really made my piece really

559
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: knowing that she really beat the best that she too

560
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 1: with the tools that um that she was given. And unfortunately,

561
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,680
Speaker 1: you can't mean if you an't no better, if you

562
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 1: don't do better. And that's what she knew by growing

563
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 1: up and that's what happened. Um, I know, I forgive

564
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,520
Speaker 1: for anything. And today, all right, I feel like we

565
00:30:57,520 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 1: were all going through maship growing up. But the school

566
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 1: was like an escape for us. It really was. There

567
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 1: was the time we got to be like Cinny and

568
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 1: like you know, play make believe and like telling that

569
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 1: are like all the stuff we probably could talk about

570
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 1: at home. We got to last. We got to kick it.

571
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 1: I know, were Crystal and mckill and were Chinese and

572
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 1: Monica we're too busy being the goddesses. And the Dean

573
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 1: wasn't crappy. Yes, yes, that was a little postgame in school, y'all. Yes,

574
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 1: oh my god. But the memory so that was our

575
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 1: escaped and I can't remember even with like Harrista, I

576
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: feel like Harrison was going through a things with you too,

577
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 1: being like when he came to dressing and sun like

578
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 1: I knew there was always gonna be in their boys

579
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 1: bad ground, like because he was so gifted. It's such

580
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 1: a young age. I remember when we were in high

581
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,520
Speaker 1: school and like we're true jobs. Like he's always about

582
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 1: to the butter, like there was our escape. So we

583
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 1: were like we should have been children, but we kind

584
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:05,480
Speaker 1: of like the grown up in so many ways, and

585
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 1: we would just push it to Survine and get together. Yeah,

586
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: I agree, man, I remember one memory, I don't. I

587
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 1: feel like he was in the hallway with us. And

588
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 1: that's the one thing I can say. And I definitely

589
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: want to get more into teaching and give it back

590
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: to like different um NFER city schools and h c

591
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 1: c U s because we had some good ass teachers.

592
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 1: Man mm hmm. Now we had something. We had some

593
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 1: excellent teachers, man, we really did. And I wish that

594
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: we had the language to articulate the things that we

595
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 1: was going to do at home, because if only they knew.

596
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 1: I really do think that they would have did the

597
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 1: right thing by us. I do too, right. So what

598
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 1: would you say that your mom taught you about self love? Um?

599
00:32:56,880 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 1: I think in the very end, I can remember her saying,

600
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 1: no matter what she said that anybody else there, she

601
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 1: says that there's something special about you, and where he's

602
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 1: gonna take you to realize. They're like, none of us

603
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 1: can do it for you. M M. I think kind

604
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 1: of at this age now, you know, being thirty four,

605
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 1: it's like I finally like, I finally give it. It

606
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 1: took the wire to get here, but yeah, but I'm

607
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 1: glad I finally get here because some people don't, like

608
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 1: some people never get to like the realization of realizing

609
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 1: what's special about though. Mm hmm. So I know, what

610
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 1: do you want kids songs? So what would you teach

611
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 1: your kids about stelf love? Now that you are a

612
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:44,000
Speaker 1: self love coach? I know I teach some from the

613
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 1: very beginning, like like that beautifully and one if you

614
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 1: made like the perfectly, like I already have like this

615
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 1: just it's a little bit weird, but I already have

616
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 1: this um talk in my mind, like I want boys.

617
00:33:55,760 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: I always say I'm the mother boys and I always um.

618
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 1: I've been practicing like mentally. You know, hey, little one,

619
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 1: you're beautiful, little one, You're perfect just the where you are.

620
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 1: I love you just the where you are, Like from

621
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 1: the top of your head down to the cells that

622
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,840
Speaker 1: your feet are absolutely perfect. There's nothing it needs to

623
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 1: be changed in between like so like I practiced this

624
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 1: like every day, Like I want to speak life into

625
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,359
Speaker 1: our kid because it really they're started kids. Like if

626
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,960
Speaker 1: you can speak life into a child and they know

627
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,359
Speaker 1: that very early, they don't have to spend the rest

628
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,279
Speaker 1: of their life trying to figure out like who they are,

629
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:33,480
Speaker 1: they can just do whatever it is they were meant

630
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 1: to do, you know, to do while they're here. Mm hmm.

631
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: So many of us have their disadvantage. We shin out

632
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 1: life trying to discover what's special about us and then

633
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 1: we get to the actual living and doing what you

634
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:47,840
Speaker 1: know what we will push here for um for. But

635
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 1: if we could skip their whole part, then there's more

636
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 1: time the easy get to do and bring the joy

637
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 1: to people's lives that are supposed to bring while we're

638
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:58,840
Speaker 1: here on you know, onbol time. Mm hm. That's a fact.

639
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 1: So do you plan on going to therapy for this situation? Oh? Yeah,

640
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:07,360
Speaker 1: not believe a fray A hundred percent. So I already

641
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,880
Speaker 1: have a therapist. I have a therapist, um um, and

642
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:16,400
Speaker 1: I think I always keep too. Yeah, I love my therapist.

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00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 1: I haven't met her in a while because I think

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00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,719
Speaker 1: I'm I'm doing pretty deecly with handling stuff and not

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00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 1: putting my hands on people. But I'm in a good space. Good. Well,

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Speaker 1: I just want to say that I'm super proud of you. Um.

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00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 1: I feel like you've been receiving a lot of support,

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00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:38,239
Speaker 1: a lot of positive feedback love and life. So I

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00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:39,880
Speaker 1: definitely feel like cause I feel like people been like

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00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 1: sending you um love donations. I think somebody's gonna get

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00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:50,319
Speaker 1: you a mattress or something. Um miss um Michelle, I

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00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,920
Speaker 1: got a new matchiss seeing me here. It came like

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00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:58,799
Speaker 1: ulste Yeah, I feel like you've really been surrounded by love.

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00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 1: So that speaks a lot about your character. So I

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Speaker 1: hope that the situation would make you feel closer to

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00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 1: a little girl that I know that we're always confident

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00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:11,319
Speaker 1: insure herself and that you never forget when you go

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00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:16,600
Speaker 1: through another valley in life. Yeah. And if I had

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00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,000
Speaker 1: any questions, of course, I told he was gonna be

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00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:23,360
Speaker 1: fun child. She was a little nervous, y'all. I'm like,

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00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 1: I remember her being talkative, like, don't be hesitant. Now. Well,

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00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 1: if you'll have any questions, comments or concerns, or if

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00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,319
Speaker 1: you want to get to know my guest a little

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00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 1: bit more, please make sure to email me at Hello

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00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 1: at the PhD podcast dot com. And until next time, everyone, Later,

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Speaker 1: DA