WEBVTT - Whine About It: Men Tell All 0:00:01.960 --> 0:00:05.400 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast. 0:00:06.040 --> 0:00:12.400 All Right, everyone, welcome to this week's podcast episode. This 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:17.319 is a very special podcast that we're having because me, 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:23.240 Kristen and Catherine have our men joining today's wind down. 0:00:24.480 --> 0:00:25.880 Bring your husband no words? 0:00:29.880 --> 0:00:30.960 Whose idea was this? 0:00:31.360 --> 0:00:36.440 Who do you think your worst? Probably No, I don't 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:38.880 think it was mine. Okay, here it was mine. 0:00:38.920 --> 0:00:41.360 You're the producer, right, So what I what I said 0:00:41.560 --> 0:00:48.640 was what it had started with. I think it would 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:54.920 be maybe helpful for Alan if maybe Preston came on 0:00:55.080 --> 0:00:56.920 to kind of say like, hey, this is what you 0:00:57.560 --> 0:00:59.320 are going to have to look forward to. 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:04.920 Is that how we're framing it? Kramer? 0:01:06.480 --> 0:01:10.480 Yeah, right after after birth? 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:13.160 All the things and the words after birth. Let's make 0:01:13.160 --> 0:01:17.680 that a groups. 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:18.720 Like after the birth. I left out the word the Okay. 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:20.800 So that's where I'm like, you know, because I think 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:24.800 there's pieces of things that we've talked about on wind 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:27.679 Down about postpartum, right, because there's something that Alan had said, 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:30.360 maybe like a month or so ago, we're oh. 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:35.120 Changed for those that are not in the room, said 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:37.480 we need a narration moment. 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:41.840 Well no, because he had just basically said, you know, 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:44.080 once the baby's out, You're going to be fine. And 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:50.440 I had this moment like of extreme inaccuracy because that's. 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:52.600 No, I'm kind of i mean, what do you mean? 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:53.880 What do you mean? Well? 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:56.160 Right, So I think what he meant was because I'm 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:58.280 just so uncomfortable and I've been sick and i've been 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:02.360 you know, just not been able to do the things 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:03.680 that I want to do and feel the way that 0:02:03.680 --> 0:02:06.600 I want to feel. And what I heard though when 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:08.680 he said that was what. 0:02:09.480 --> 0:02:10.880 Was extreme inaccuracy. 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:13.480 Yeah, Bud in Allen's defense. 0:02:13.200 --> 0:02:16.600 You know, but what I heard was that for me, 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:20.840 I'm like, man, the fourth what postpartum is the most 0:02:20.880 --> 0:02:23.280 emotional piece and there's still a lot like I'm not 0:02:23.280 --> 0:02:26.600 going to just be fine afterwards. And I'm sure you've 0:02:26.600 --> 0:02:30.000 witnessed a lot of postpartum, Kristin, Oh, yeah, for sure. 0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:34.760 And so you know and and in In you know, 0:02:34.880 --> 0:02:38.360 you you don't men. I don't think men realize that postpartum. 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:39.760 I don't even know what postpartum was. 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:41.959 They don't have that in the UK. 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:46.480 They don't serious. It's a United States. 0:02:47.680 --> 0:02:51.000 They just don't have that. Everything's fine. 0:02:51.040 --> 0:02:53.959 They don't have Miles and they don't have a postpartum 0:02:54.040 --> 0:02:55.800 just kilometers and smooth sailing. 0:02:56.760 --> 0:02:58.840 Yeah, okay, no even hailed of it. 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:01.840 You've never heard of best part of ever. 0:03:02.840 --> 0:03:06.880 Really, I had never heard of it till she says 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:09.720 she had it. I was like, something's going on, though, 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:12.440 and so we figured it out. I guess that's what 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:14.760 I say. We don't telling anything. 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:17.120 And we broadcast broadcast. 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:20.120 I will say this though, like the stuff that he's 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:22.760 probably talking about, like being sick and stuff like last 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:25.280 night I heard her say, remember when I was sick 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:29.360 every single day with our baby lying, and then now 0:03:29.560 --> 0:03:32.480 the sickness went away. I mean the second that baby 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:35.360 was born, the sickness was over. So in his defense, 0:03:35.400 --> 0:03:36.920 I could be kind of what he's talking about. You're 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:38.880 gonna be all right here in a minute. 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:40.760 Sure, But. 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:45.040 The biggest thing is your discomfort and a lot of 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:48.280 things like pressing. You said will be lave you and disappear. 0:03:49.400 --> 0:03:53.240 I'm not talking. It wasn't referencing hormones or behavior. 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:55.520 Well, this is good. We don't have to start from scratch, 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:57.160 because I thought we were starting from scratch. 0:03:58.040 --> 0:03:59.920 So you do know that the post there is a 0:04:00.240 --> 0:04:03.240 there's a fourth partum or right? Is that? How it's 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:07.840 the fourth trimuster essentially, is what they call it, the 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:10.440 postpartum and there are hormones after that. 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:15.200 She's going to ratchet up the crazy little bit. And 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:16.880 then Bill Kirk, well, I think. 0:04:16.720 --> 0:04:25.200 That's actually offensive. Yeah, I would say, oh, because. 0:04:24.960 --> 0:04:27.280 It's And I love you and I can say that 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:31.240 because you're like a brother to me. But women's hormones 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:35.400 after babies are crazy, Like I remember both being like, 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:38.920 I'm bawling and I have no your hormones are you 0:04:38.960 --> 0:04:39.679 feel crazy? 0:04:39.839 --> 0:04:41.560 It doesn't make sense to you either, I mean it 0:04:42.000 --> 0:04:44.479 makes sense to him. If not makes sense to It's 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:45.400 just something you have to go through. 0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:47.920 Well, and let us not all forget the extreme sleep 0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:50.680 deprivation one goes into and why it's considered a torture 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:53.440 technique for a reason. So we're in the midst of 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:56.720 hormones and balance. Your body is not the same. Your 0:04:56.760 --> 0:05:01.599 recovery after a C section is longer than other recoveries, 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:07.080 and on top of it, you're not sleeping and this 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:09.480 time we're pushing forty. 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:11.240 Sounds like a storm. 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:16.080 I mean, so, Presley, what has been the hardest thing 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:17.640 for you post baby with Kristen? 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:21.440 Which time, Well, let's just talk. Let's just talk this time. 0:05:21.560 --> 0:05:23.520 This time, we just need more help. We need help 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:25.720 because I'm gone like crazy. You know, We're doing two 0:05:25.800 --> 0:05:28.160 hundred shows a year. I'm gone all the time. And 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:31.640 she's just being a superhero the best that she can. 0:05:31.760 --> 0:05:34.040 And she's tired, and I don't know how she does 0:05:34.080 --> 0:05:36.880 it like she's you know, some days if I'm gone 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:40.000 on a Monday, still she's she's up all night with 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:43.080 baby lying, and then six fifteen, you know, six am, 0:05:43.160 --> 0:05:45.320 she's up making lunches and she's getting the kids off 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:48.440 to school, and you know, just packing that third kid 0:05:48.480 --> 0:05:50.920 in the car is the whole thing, Like just getting 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:53.520 that baby ready and getting it in the car so 0:05:53.560 --> 0:05:55.719 that the other two well, I mean, I don't know 0:05:55.720 --> 0:05:58.000 how she does it, but you know, so that's been 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:00.599 the hardest thing, is like how do we find good help? 0:06:00.839 --> 0:06:04.640 Who is good help? And does she she has to 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:07.799 love them too, like the help. We can't just get help, 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:10.400 Like we need someone that's going to be cohesive. 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:14.599 He wanted to move someone in. He wanted a no pairt. 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:19.359 I've got a solution on the Postpotomo, Come stay with you, 0:06:21.520 --> 0:06:22.040 I'll help you. 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:22.840 Great. 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:25.360 Well this works out perfectly because it's actually our baby anyway, 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:26.880 So this is like magic. 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:30.800 I think that's the toughest part, though, it's finding that 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:33.960 finding that sweet spot where she gets to still be 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:37.599 mom and still feel like mom, spend all the hours 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:39.440 because she wants to spend time with all the kids, 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:41.880 but also she needs the breaks and I'm not there 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:44.920 to give her breaks, and so that's with the third kid, 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:46.200 it's become a lot. 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:48.480 I would say third time feels a little like the 0:06:48.560 --> 0:06:53.520 charm for us though, like Love's postpartum our first was 0:06:54.200 --> 0:06:56.080 would you agree, horrendous? 0:06:56.120 --> 0:07:01.760 Horrible, horrible, And it wasn't just another trimester. It was 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:03.440 like a year. It was a year. It was a 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:05.680 whole school year, just that, you know, just like a 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:08.080 whole man. I didn't know what we were in. I 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:10.480 didn't know what postpartum was. I was looking it up. 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:12.080 Well when you were in Mexico most of the time. 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:14.080 So that was straight heard. 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:16.360 I heard a doctor mention it in the in the 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:19.080 room and the doctor looks at her, she says, you know, 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:22.760 are you thinking about hurting yourself? And I'm like, well, 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:25.600 are we talking about? Like what is this? And then 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:28.240 all of a sudden they're like you know, and all 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:30.400 these different symptoms that you need to be And then 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:32.200 she turned to me and I said, well, I'm not 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:34.360 watching for any of this. I didn't even know this 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:35.720 was a thing like you because I. 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:39.400 Scored low on the questionnaire, the postpartum questionnaire for like 0:07:39.480 --> 0:07:40.160 post screening. 0:07:41.680 --> 0:07:43.880 I know she was just in her own level of 0:07:44.080 --> 0:07:45.760 just trying to get out of the fog. And I 0:07:45.760 --> 0:07:48.120 didn't even know there was a fog. And so once 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:51.440 I started understanding what it was, then I started feeling like, 0:07:52.120 --> 0:07:54.320 here's where I can meet her in the fog a 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:56.320 little bit and try to help, you know, if I can. 0:07:56.400 --> 0:07:58.840 But and how did you What would be a tip 0:07:58.920 --> 0:07:59.880 for new dads. 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:03.080 Get out of Bed's a lot of patience. Get out 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:05.000 of bed, would them? 0:08:05.040 --> 0:08:06.520 Get them? 0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:09.560 Don't go to bed, start a band and go on 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:13.600 the road. Cry don't go turkey hunting the first morning 0:08:13.680 --> 0:08:17.120 your home. Don't do that. Maybe the third morning your home, 0:08:17.200 --> 0:08:18.840 you know, but don't go first morning your home. 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:21.360 I did go coach a football game in the day 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:23.280 that Emmy was born. 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:25.600 I think it was Ramsey, But at that point with 0:08:25.640 --> 0:08:27.280 the third I'm like, go do what you gotta do 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:29.200 with the other kids. I mean I was at that point. 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:30.640 But to that, I was going to say, I think 0:08:30.680 --> 0:08:33.280 it's very important to also keep in mind there's so 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:36.360 many different levels of it. Like I think all moms 0:08:36.400 --> 0:08:37.880 cry at the drop of a hat after they have 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:41.520 a baby. Sure don't don't expect that, and that's normal, 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:43.600 but to keep an eye on that because it can 0:08:43.640 --> 0:08:45.760 get so much further and be past that. But like, 0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:48.720 you know, I didn't have postpartum, but I did, you know, 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:49.880 cry at the drop of a hat. So I just 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:52.280 think it's very important to watch that there's such different 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:54.640 levels of it, and some of it is normal and 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:57.280 not into not that postpartum depression is not normal, but 0:08:57.320 --> 0:08:59.440 you know what I mean, and then into postpartum. 0:08:59.559 --> 0:09:01.480 I think it's also when I think back on to it, 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:05.760 I remember being becoming like unconnected. We were just unconnected 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:09.920 because she's trying to stay connected to the kid. You know, 0:09:10.960 --> 0:09:14.120 it's a newborn and they're connected. And some people say 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:16.080 that the kid still feels like they're in their mom 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:18.079 for like three months. They don't even figure out that 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:19.880 they're not in their mom for a minute, you know. 0:09:20.240 --> 0:09:23.400 And so I had never even heard that concept before. 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:25.800 So here we are falling apart from each other. She's 0:09:25.800 --> 0:09:29.160 getting closer to the baby, but now there's this new 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:32.120 dynamic in the house, and it was my job to 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:34.240 stay connected to her. It's not her job to stay 0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:37.559 connected to me and these kids. And so I had 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:41.040 to figure that out that I had to like focus 0:09:41.120 --> 0:09:44.360 on me and her as well and stay connected, and 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:46.800 that would make me connected to the baby more probably. 0:09:46.920 --> 0:09:49.400 And so because a lot of dads, let's be real, 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:51.080 a lot of dads are like, oh man, this is 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:53.240 so awesome to have a new kid. And then when 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:55.320 the mom was not around, we're like, what do we 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:58.880 do this thing? Like it's screaming at me? And when 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:00.960 mom walks in, she can hold it and tap it 0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:03.800 just right and everything goes away. But we're like, I've 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:06.559 given it a bottle of given it a beer, I've 0:10:06.559 --> 0:10:11.760 tried anything, just please stop crying, and nothing works, you know, 0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:14.960 so we get you know, yeah, it's probably wild to 0:10:15.040 --> 0:10:15.840 us and confusing. 0:10:16.280 --> 0:10:19.400 So I don't think a lot is the logistics, you know. 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:21.440 I mean, you're going through all the chemical stuff, but 0:10:21.520 --> 0:10:25.840 you're as your third fourth or whatever, now you're adding 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:29.120 logistics on top of it. So you have the frustration 0:10:29.320 --> 0:10:33.280 of you know, just more things to do. Yeah, because 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:35.520 life doesn't stop now, kids. 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:37.240 Will still have stuff to do and like that has 0:10:37.280 --> 0:10:40.840 to get done whether we're falling apart or exhausted or not. 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:43.559 Like it is different. I thought that the gap because 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:48.160 we so Jannah and I share the same like our 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:50.600 kids are all the same ages, which is so always 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:54.160 so cool to me. But I thought, I the gap 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:56.960 is great for so many reasons because it gives you 0:10:57.040 --> 0:10:59.520 like they are a little more self sufficient. But then 0:10:59.559 --> 0:11:02.640 the gap is harder because the feelings are big and 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:05.319 they can articulate them, and they still have a million 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:05.920 things to do. 0:11:05.960 --> 0:11:07.560 They have so much going on as they get older. 0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:09.719 Yeah, and they want to yeah, And you want them 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:11.240 to play and you want them to be plugged into 0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:13.560 their own world so that they don't feel the huge transition. 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:17.560 But there is a transition for them too. It's going 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:19.280 to be great. I want to just drop a little 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:23.959 note of hope. Allen and Jane holding hands, like the 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:28.440 planes going down that can't see the oxygen masks have 0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:29.480 fallen from the ceiling. 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:37.040 You might not get the I'm with you even nothing 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:40.360 we don't know yet, we don't know. I just want. 0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:46.640 I think the I don't remember having postpartum with Jolly 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:51.560 depression depression. Yeah, yes, thank you for the claripication of that. 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:57.400 With Jace, my postpartum depression was something where and I've 0:11:57.440 --> 0:12:00.480 known someone that had the wake extreame Ca said, there's 0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:04.960 massive extremes my connection with Jace. When I had him, 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:09.800 I felt a weird. I wasn't connected and that depressed 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:12.760 me for a minute because I didn't have what I 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:15.520 thought what I had when I had Jolie. And then 0:12:15.520 --> 0:12:17.440 I realized that was a part of the depression and 0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:20.360 the not feeling connected to the baby. It was, but 0:12:20.440 --> 0:12:23.040 it sent me like I'm a spiral. Also, he's a boy, 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:26.200 which is different. Not that you not that that makes 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:29.360 you less connected, but I felt a different connection with 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:31.679 Legend and at first compared it to like, oh it's 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:33.560 not as intense as it was with love, but like 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:37.360 he was, he was my boyfriend, and it took me 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:39.520 a minute to go hang on, like it's a different 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:42.040 kind of love, and then once figured that out. But 0:12:42.080 --> 0:12:44.920 I think I had more postpartum anxiety post Jase. 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:52.600 I definitely had postpartum depression with love for sure. Postpartum 0:12:52.640 --> 0:12:55.439 more in postpartum anxiety with Legend, but he also was 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:57.280 a respiratory kid. He just had a lot of like 0:12:57.320 --> 0:13:02.080 respiratory issues. And then this one, I feel like I'm 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:05.560 unable to diagnose where I'm at because we're only five 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:07.959 months out. But this time just feels like I'm in 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:11.480 a postpartum period. But I'm trying to navigate it. 0:13:11.520 --> 0:13:15.840 Differently again, the hormone levels, age, all the things, because 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:20.880 I believe I was in perimenopause when I started pregnant, 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:22.720 Biblical age pregnancies that we're having. 0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:26.439 I don't even know what you just said. Another I 0:13:26.559 --> 0:13:29.319 have to google that tonight, but I. 0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:31.880 Think at the end of it, I mean, I know, Alan, 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:36.000 you're insanely supportive, so I know that you're gonna show 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:38.120 up and be a great partner. 0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:42.880 You guys think of being aware of it is beneficial. 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:46.720 Like you said, your first child, you've never experienced it, 0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:54.800 So the second one, can you intellectually go Okay, this 0:13:54.920 --> 0:13:57.360 is probably coming and kind of prepare yourself for it. 0:13:57.520 --> 0:14:01.840 Well, two things I think One, you learned how to 0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:05.680 better support and love yourself and what you need just 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:07.640 as you get older. Period, and then you add like 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:09.920 a postpartum period, like I knew how I needed to 0:14:09.960 --> 0:14:12.840 be loved this time, and for me, it was I 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:15.920 did not need any visitors until at least six weeks. 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:18.400 I needed a minute to like get my I I 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:20.320 had to honor that about myself because that's the part 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:21.320 that gets stressful for me. 0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:24.480 And I was like the movies. I'm like thinking, you know, 0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:26.480 I'm about to have a baby. We need all the 0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:28.840 in laws in the window of that at the at 0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:29.560 the hospital. 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:32.320 Yeah, everybody ready, and then. 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:35.720 I'll hold a baby up like Simba and everybody parties 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:38.640 and the door swings open and she puts her clothes 0:14:38.640 --> 0:14:39.600 on and we go home. 0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:40.360 You know what I mean. 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:43.520 I thought it was just like that, and then I realized, 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:46.560 you know, it wasn't like that. 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:50.840 We're the same? Are we identical? Have everybody in the 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:52.840 delivery room? That's my motto. 0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:56.280 And then the second time around, I invited less people, 0:14:56.680 --> 0:14:59.720 and so I was like, okay, RSVP this second time 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:03.800 and the third time I started to really listen, like okay, 0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:07.520 this is this is your room, this is I get 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:09.840 it now, you know. So it took me a minute. 0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:13.920 It's so celebratory, like the lion king to him, and 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:16.920 for me, I'm like this is like sacred quiet territory. 0:15:17.080 --> 0:15:19.200 Well, and I told Alan too, I think I said 0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:21.320 this too where I I'm pretty sure I did. Where 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:24.320 when the baby comes, I still need to have our 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:29.160 precious connection moments too, because I don't want that piece 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:32.240 to us to be sleep deprived or edgy or snippy 0:15:32.360 --> 0:15:34.000 or like guys like are we just we have to 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:38.360 have find a minute each day that's something that we 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:40.280 can just kind of sit with each other because those 0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:42.800 moments just the other day when we had a crazy 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:44.960 day and we were just passing, it's like, hey, let's 0:15:44.960 --> 0:15:47.760 sit for thirty minutes and have a conversation and keep 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:49.680 that Like that, that's something that. 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:54.480 I know I need from my overall postpartum. Yeah, like 0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:56.240 even this time, there will be times in the middle 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:57.800 of the night where I'm feeding the baby and if 0:15:57.800 --> 0:16:00.600 Pressent's home, like you just get up and he's like 0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:01.040 you want me. 0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:01.320 To do it? 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:03.600 Or he like rubs my back and that is enough 0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:06.120 for me just not you know, Like I. 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:08.240 Wish I could send a text message, dudes, they're about 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:08.480 to have. 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:09.840 A baby, what would you say. 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:13.080 I don't know exactly what I'd say. It depends if 0:16:13.120 --> 0:16:15.160 their wives are going to read it or not. But 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:19.520 if the wives aren't reading it, I can't say it. 0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:22.600 So you know, I could text it to Alan, you 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:26.440 could read it another day when I'm here. 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:29.080 Okay, Well, what would you say if we weren't here. 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:32.320 Well, I mean, that's not real life. You are here, 0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:36.960 but I think now, no, okay, so let's just paraphrase 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:42.880 in a nice, gentle way. You know, life's about to 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:46.360 get a little bit crazier and you're going to need 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:48.160 to be getting up in the middle of the night 0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:50.640 and doing your part. She's going to need to be 0:16:51.120 --> 0:16:54.760 feeling some extra love from you. I mean, chime in, 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:58.160 boys whenever you're ready, because I'm on the spire. 0:16:58.240 --> 0:16:59.320 But you know, just. 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:03.120 I always want to try to find ways that with 0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:05.880 you know, Troy Gentry told me this from Montgomery. Gentry 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:10.240 got rest the soul. But you know, I just remember 0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:13.240 we were about to have a baby and he told me, 0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:15.920 he said, you've got to stay connected to your wife 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:17.800 and it's not going to be as easy as you think. 0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:21.040 And I was like, oh man, we got this, you 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:22.560 know what I mean. We had only been together a 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:24.840 little while and I was like, a minute, yeah, we're 0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:27.119 so on fire. In love. This is this is gonna 0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:30.280 be easy. And I just went in one ear and 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:32.399 out the other. But I think about that all the 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:35.680 time now because I'm like, how true was that one 0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:38.320 sentence that he was trying to tell me? And now 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:41.119 I see it, like I you know it. Sometimes it's 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:43.800 still labors the love. Maybe it's just you know, an 0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:46.320 extra time with the dishwasher, doing the little things, washing 0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:48.360 the bottles when she just is so tired she don't 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:50.719 feel like doing that, you know, and like all the 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:53.919 little things that you definitely don't feel like doing, but 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:57.720 you just do it because like she said, sometimes it's 0:17:57.760 --> 0:17:59.679 rubbing her back. Sometimes it's just a little kiss on 0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:02.720 the neck, just saying you've been awesome this you know 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:05.440 today or you know tonight in the middle of the night, 0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:09.639 you know. And so because look, look she does all 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:12.000 the heavy lifting. I ain't seeing the dirty die for 0:18:12.040 --> 0:18:14.439 this week. I mean, she is awesome. She does it 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:18.480 all and she lets me sleep. I come off the road, 0:18:18.520 --> 0:18:20.920 I'm super tired, And you know I. 0:18:20.840 --> 0:18:24.959 Would I would steer away from using the term super tired. Yeah, 0:18:25.200 --> 0:18:27.000 I'm just being honest. That was one trigger. 0:18:27.240 --> 0:18:28.440 It's a different kind of tired. 0:18:28.600 --> 0:18:30.440 Yeah, like I remember him coming home and he's like, 0:18:30.440 --> 0:18:32.399 I'm just really tired, and I thought, I bet you 0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:33.280 are really tired. 0:18:33.359 --> 0:18:36.040 However, you also have a unique situation. 0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:38.679 Yeah so yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that was one of 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:41.479 the questions yeah too from a UH from UH. I 0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:44.400 did a poll and basically it was how his press 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:46.240 and handle being a new dad and in the spotlight 0:18:46.280 --> 0:18:47.720 and on being on tour. 0:18:48.440 --> 0:18:50.920 That far is easy, man, We love being that. 0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:51.800 It's fun part. 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:54.040 But when you come home and you say you're tired, 0:18:54.400 --> 0:18:57.919 and it's like Christens just like you don't know what 0:18:58.000 --> 0:18:58.480 tired is. 0:18:58.560 --> 0:19:01.000 And the kids have all drawn picked and they're waiting 0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:02.960 and they want to put it right in your face 0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:05.800 right when because I one thing that has changed for 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:10.360 me is I take the last, the last flight out 0:19:10.400 --> 0:19:14.240 I can to leave, and then I take the earliest 0:19:14.840 --> 0:19:18.320 first flight I can to get home. And that's a 0:19:18.359 --> 0:19:20.760 different level of stress outside of the house that no 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:23.600 one sees. Just trying to be home as much as 0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:27.680 you can, because it's just as it's hard to get 0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:30.359 the hours the other dads are getting. Like I'm trying 0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:33.120 to build my time up and I'm gone a lot, 0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:35.240 but I'm also not working a nine to five and 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:39.160