Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 2: All Right, everyone, welcome to this week's podcast episode. This
Speaker 2: is a very special podcast that we're having because me,
Speaker 2: Kristen and Catherine have our men joining today's wind down.
Speaker 3: Bring your husband no words?
Speaker 4: Whose idea was this?
Speaker 3: Who do you think your worst? Probably No, I don't
Speaker 3: think it was mine. Okay, here it was mine.
Speaker 2: You're the producer, right, So what I what I said
Speaker 2: was what it had started with. I think it would
Speaker 2: be maybe helpful for Alan if maybe Preston came on
Speaker 2: to kind of say like, hey, this is what you
Speaker 2: are going to have to look forward to.
Speaker 3: Is that how we're framing it? Kramer?
Speaker 5: Yeah, right after after birth?
Speaker 3: All the things and the words after birth. Let's make
Speaker 3: that a groups.
Speaker 5: Like after the birth. I left out the word the Okay.
Speaker 2: So that's where I'm like, you know, because I think
Speaker 2: there's pieces of things that we've talked about on wind
Speaker 2: Down about postpartum, right, because there's something that Alan had said,
Speaker 2: maybe like a month or so ago, we're oh.
Speaker 3: Changed for those that are not in the room, said
Speaker 3: we need a narration moment.
Speaker 2: Well no, because he had just basically said, you know,
Speaker 2: once the baby's out, You're going to be fine. And
Speaker 2: I had this moment like of extreme inaccuracy because that's.
Speaker 5: No, I'm kind of i mean, what do you mean?
Speaker 5: What do you mean? Well?
Speaker 2: Right, So I think what he meant was because I'm
Speaker 2: just so uncomfortable and I've been sick and i've been
Speaker 2: you know, just not been able to do the things
Speaker 2: that I want to do and feel the way that
Speaker 2: I want to feel. And what I heard though when
Speaker 2: he said that was what.
Speaker 4: Was extreme inaccuracy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Bud in Allen's defense.
Speaker 2: You know, but what I heard was that for me,
Speaker 2: I'm like, man, the fourth what postpartum is the most
Speaker 2: emotional piece and there's still a lot like I'm not
Speaker 2: going to just be fine afterwards. And I'm sure you've
Speaker 2: witnessed a lot of postpartum, Kristin, Oh, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2: And so you know and and in In you know,
Speaker 2: you you don't men. I don't think men realize that postpartum.
Speaker 5: I don't even know what postpartum was.
Speaker 6: They don't have that in the UK.
Speaker 5: They don't serious. It's a United States.
Speaker 6: They just don't have that. Everything's fine.
Speaker 3: They don't have Miles and they don't have a postpartum
Speaker 3: just kilometers and smooth sailing.
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, no even hailed of it.
Speaker 3: You've never heard of best part of ever.
Speaker 5: Really, I had never heard of it till she says
Speaker 5: she had it. I was like, something's going on, though,
Speaker 5: and so we figured it out. I guess that's what
Speaker 5: I say. We don't telling anything.
Speaker 3: And we broadcast broadcast.
Speaker 5: I will say this though, like the stuff that he's
Speaker 5: probably talking about, like being sick and stuff like last
Speaker 5: night I heard her say, remember when I was sick
Speaker 5: every single day with our baby lying, and then now
Speaker 5: the sickness went away. I mean the second that baby
Speaker 5: was born, the sickness was over. So in his defense,
Speaker 5: I could be kind of what he's talking about. You're
Speaker 5: gonna be all right here in a minute.
Speaker 3: Sure, But.
Speaker 6: The biggest thing is your discomfort and a lot of
Speaker 6: things like pressing. You said will be lave you and disappear.
Speaker 6: I'm not talking. It wasn't referencing hormones or behavior.
Speaker 3: Well, this is good. We don't have to start from scratch,
Speaker 3: because I thought we were starting from scratch.
Speaker 2: So you do know that the post there is a
Speaker 2: there's a fourth partum or right? Is that? How it's
Speaker 2: the fourth trimuster essentially, is what they call it, the
Speaker 2: postpartum and there are hormones after that.
Speaker 7: She's going to ratchet up the crazy little bit. And
Speaker 7: then Bill Kirk, well, I think.
Speaker 3: That's actually offensive. Yeah, I would say, oh, because.
Speaker 2: It's And I love you and I can say that
Speaker 2: because you're like a brother to me. But women's hormones
Speaker 2: after babies are crazy, Like I remember both being like,
Speaker 2: I'm bawling and I have no your hormones are you
Speaker 2: feel crazy?
Speaker 7: It doesn't make sense to you either, I mean it
Speaker 7: makes sense to him. If not makes sense to It's
Speaker 7: just something you have to go through.
Speaker 3: Well, and let us not all forget the extreme sleep
Speaker 3: deprivation one goes into and why it's considered a torture
Speaker 3: technique for a reason. So we're in the midst of
Speaker 3: hormones and balance. Your body is not the same. Your
Speaker 3: recovery after a C section is longer than other recoveries,
Speaker 3: and on top of it, you're not sleeping and this
Speaker 3: time we're pushing forty.
Speaker 5: Sounds like a storm.
Speaker 2: I mean, so, Presley, what has been the hardest thing
Speaker 2: for you post baby with Kristen?
Speaker 3: Which time, Well, let's just talk. Let's just talk this time.
Speaker 5: This time, we just need more help. We need help
Speaker 5: because I'm gone like crazy. You know, We're doing two
Speaker 5: hundred shows a year. I'm gone all the time. And
Speaker 5: she's just being a superhero the best that she can.
Speaker 5: And she's tired, and I don't know how she does
Speaker 5: it like she's you know, some days if I'm gone
Speaker 5: on a Monday, still she's she's up all night with
Speaker 5: baby lying, and then six fifteen, you know, six am,
Speaker 5: she's up making lunches and she's getting the kids off
Speaker 5: to school, and you know, just packing that third kid
Speaker 5: in the car is the whole thing, Like just getting
Speaker 5: that baby ready and getting it in the car so
Speaker 5: that the other two well, I mean, I don't know
Speaker 5: how she does it, but you know, so that's been
Speaker 5: the hardest thing, is like how do we find good help?
Speaker 5: Who is good help? And does she she has to
Speaker 5: love them too, like the help. We can't just get help,
Speaker 5: Like we need someone that's going to be cohesive.
Speaker 3: He wanted to move someone in. He wanted a no pairt.
Speaker 6: I've got a solution on the Postpotomo, Come stay with you,
Speaker 6: I'll help you.
Speaker 5: Great.
Speaker 3: Well this works out perfectly because it's actually our baby anyway,
Speaker 3: So this is like magic.
Speaker 5: I think that's the toughest part, though, it's finding that
Speaker 5: finding that sweet spot where she gets to still be
Speaker 5: mom and still feel like mom, spend all the hours
Speaker 5: because she wants to spend time with all the kids,
Speaker 5: but also she needs the breaks and I'm not there
Speaker 5: to give her breaks, and so that's with the third kid,
Speaker 5: it's become a lot.
Speaker 3: I would say third time feels a little like the
Speaker 3: charm for us though, like Love's postpartum our first was
Speaker 3: would you agree, horrendous?
Speaker 5: Horrible, horrible, And it wasn't just another trimester. It was
Speaker 5: like a year. It was a year. It was a
Speaker 5: whole school year, just that, you know, just like a
Speaker 5: whole man. I didn't know what we were in. I
Speaker 5: didn't know what postpartum was. I was looking it up.
Speaker 3: Well when you were in Mexico most of the time.
Speaker 3: So that was straight heard.
Speaker 5: I heard a doctor mention it in the in the
Speaker 5: room and the doctor looks at her, she says, you know,
Speaker 5: are you thinking about hurting yourself? And I'm like, well,
Speaker 5: are we talking about? Like what is this? And then
Speaker 5: all of a sudden they're like you know, and all
Speaker 5: these different symptoms that you need to be And then
Speaker 5: she turned to me and I said, well, I'm not
Speaker 5: watching for any of this. I didn't even know this
Speaker 5: was a thing like you because I.
Speaker 3: Scored low on the questionnaire, the postpartum questionnaire for like
Speaker 3: post screening.
Speaker 5: I know she was just in her own level of
Speaker 5: just trying to get out of the fog. And I
Speaker 5: didn't even know there was a fog. And so once
Speaker 5: I started understanding what it was, then I started feeling like,
Speaker 5: here's where I can meet her in the fog a
Speaker 5: little bit and try to help, you know, if I can.
Speaker 3: But and how did you What would be a tip
Speaker 3: for new dads.
Speaker 5: Get out of Bed's a lot of patience. Get out
Speaker 5: of bed, would them?
Speaker 3: Get them?
Speaker 5: Don't go to bed, start a band and go on
Speaker 5: the road. Cry don't go turkey hunting the first morning
Speaker 5: your home. Don't do that. Maybe the third morning your home,
Speaker 5: you know, but don't go first morning your home.
Speaker 7: I did go coach a football game in the day
Speaker 7: that Emmy was born.
Speaker 1: I think it was Ramsey, But at that point with
Speaker 1: the third I'm like, go do what you gotta do
Speaker 1: with the other kids. I mean I was at that point.
Speaker 1: But to that, I was going to say, I think
Speaker 1: it's very important to also keep in mind there's so
Speaker 1: many different levels of it. Like I think all moms
Speaker 1: cry at the drop of a hat after they have
Speaker 1: a baby. Sure don't don't expect that, and that's normal,
Speaker 1: but to keep an eye on that because it can
Speaker 1: get so much further and be past that. But like,
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't have postpartum, but I did, you know,
Speaker 1: cry at the drop of a hat. So I just
Speaker 1: think it's very important to watch that there's such different
Speaker 1: levels of it, and some of it is normal and
Speaker 1: not into not that postpartum depression is not normal, but
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, and then into postpartum.
Speaker 5: I think it's also when I think back on to it,
Speaker 5: I remember being becoming like unconnected. We were just unconnected
Speaker 5: because she's trying to stay connected to the kid. You know,
Speaker 5: it's a newborn and they're connected. And some people say
Speaker 5: that the kid still feels like they're in their mom
Speaker 5: for like three months. They don't even figure out that
Speaker 5: they're not in their mom for a minute, you know.
Speaker 5: And so I had never even heard that concept before.
Speaker 5: So here we are falling apart from each other. She's
Speaker 5: getting closer to the baby, but now there's this new
Speaker 5: dynamic in the house, and it was my job to
Speaker 5: stay connected to her. It's not her job to stay
Speaker 5: connected to me and these kids. And so I had
Speaker 5: to figure that out that I had to like focus
Speaker 5: on me and her as well and stay connected, and
Speaker 5: that would make me connected to the baby more probably.
Speaker 5: And so because a lot of dads, let's be real,
Speaker 5: a lot of dads are like, oh man, this is
Speaker 5: so awesome to have a new kid. And then when
Speaker 5: the mom was not around, we're like, what do we
Speaker 5: do this thing? Like it's screaming at me? And when
Speaker 5: mom walks in, she can hold it and tap it
Speaker 5: just right and everything goes away. But we're like, I've
Speaker 5: given it a bottle of given it a beer, I've
Speaker 5: tried anything, just please stop crying, and nothing works, you know,
Speaker 5: so we get you know, yeah, it's probably wild to
Speaker 5: us and confusing.
Speaker 7: So I don't think a lot is the logistics, you know.
Speaker 7: I mean, you're going through all the chemical stuff, but
Speaker 7: you're as your third fourth or whatever, now you're adding
Speaker 7: logistics on top of it. So you have the frustration
Speaker 7: of you know, just more things to do. Yeah, because
Speaker 7: life doesn't stop now, kids.
Speaker 1: Will still have stuff to do and like that has
Speaker 1: to get done whether we're falling apart or exhausted or not.
Speaker 3: Like it is different. I thought that the gap because
Speaker 3: we so Jannah and I share the same like our
Speaker 3: kids are all the same ages, which is so always
Speaker 3: so cool to me. But I thought, I the gap
Speaker 3: is great for so many reasons because it gives you
Speaker 3: like they are a little more self sufficient. But then
Speaker 3: the gap is harder because the feelings are big and
Speaker 3: they can articulate them, and they still have a million
Speaker 3: things to do.
Speaker 4: They have so much going on as they get older.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they want to yeah, And you want them
Speaker 3: to play and you want them to be plugged into
Speaker 3: their own world so that they don't feel the huge transition.
Speaker 3: But there is a transition for them too. It's going
Speaker 3: to be great. I want to just drop a little
Speaker 3: note of hope. Allen and Jane holding hands, like the
Speaker 3: planes going down that can't see the oxygen masks have
Speaker 3: fallen from the ceiling.
Speaker 6: You might not get the I'm with you even nothing
Speaker 6: we don't know yet, we don't know. I just want.
Speaker 2: I think the I don't remember having postpartum with Jolly
Speaker 2: depression depression. Yeah, yes, thank you for the claripication of that.
Speaker 2: With Jace, my postpartum depression was something where and I've
Speaker 2: known someone that had the wake extreame Ca said, there's
Speaker 2: massive extremes my connection with Jace. When I had him,
Speaker 2: I felt a weird. I wasn't connected and that depressed
Speaker 2: me for a minute because I didn't have what I
Speaker 2: thought what I had when I had Jolie. And then
Speaker 2: I realized that was a part of the depression and
Speaker 2: the not feeling connected to the baby. It was, but
Speaker 2: it sent me like I'm a spiral. Also, he's a boy,
Speaker 2: which is different. Not that you not that that makes
Speaker 2: you less connected, but I felt a different connection with
Speaker 2: Legend and at first compared it to like, oh it's
Speaker 2: not as intense as it was with love, but like
Speaker 2: he was, he was my boyfriend, and it took me
Speaker 2: a minute to go hang on, like it's a different
Speaker 2: kind of love, and then once figured that out. But
Speaker 2: I think I had more postpartum anxiety post Jase.
Speaker 3: I definitely had postpartum depression with love for sure. Postpartum
Speaker 3: more in postpartum anxiety with Legend, but he also was
Speaker 3: a respiratory kid. He just had a lot of like
Speaker 3: respiratory issues. And then this one, I feel like I'm
Speaker 3: unable to diagnose where I'm at because we're only five
Speaker 3: months out. But this time just feels like I'm in
Speaker 3: a postpartum period. But I'm trying to navigate it.
Speaker 2: Differently again, the hormone levels, age, all the things, because
Speaker 2: I believe I was in perimenopause when I started pregnant,
Speaker 2: Biblical age pregnancies that we're having.
Speaker 5: I don't even know what you just said. Another I
Speaker 5: have to google that tonight, but I.
Speaker 2: Think at the end of it, I mean, I know, Alan,
Speaker 2: you're insanely supportive, so I know that you're gonna show
Speaker 2: up and be a great partner.
Speaker 7: You guys think of being aware of it is beneficial.
Speaker 7: Like you said, your first child, you've never experienced it,
Speaker 7: So the second one, can you intellectually go Okay, this
Speaker 7: is probably coming and kind of prepare yourself for it.
Speaker 3: Well, two things I think One, you learned how to
Speaker 3: better support and love yourself and what you need just
Speaker 3: as you get older. Period, and then you add like
Speaker 3: a postpartum period, like I knew how I needed to
Speaker 3: be loved this time, and for me, it was I
Speaker 3: did not need any visitors until at least six weeks.
Speaker 3: I needed a minute to like get my I I
Speaker 3: had to honor that about myself because that's the part
Speaker 3: that gets stressful for me.
Speaker 5: And I was like the movies. I'm like thinking, you know,
Speaker 5: I'm about to have a baby. We need all the
Speaker 5: in laws in the window of that at the at
Speaker 5: the hospital.
Speaker 8: Yeah, everybody ready, and then.
Speaker 5: I'll hold a baby up like Simba and everybody parties
Speaker 5: and the door swings open and she puts her clothes
Speaker 5: on and we go home.
Speaker 6: You know what I mean.
Speaker 5: I thought it was just like that, and then I realized,
Speaker 5: you know, it wasn't like that.
Speaker 3: We're the same? Are we identical? Have everybody in the
Speaker 3: delivery room? That's my motto.
Speaker 5: And then the second time around, I invited less people,
Speaker 5: and so I was like, okay, RSVP this second time
Speaker 5: and the third time I started to really listen, like okay,
Speaker 5: this is this is your room, this is I get
Speaker 5: it now, you know. So it took me a minute.
Speaker 3: It's so celebratory, like the lion king to him, and
Speaker 3: for me, I'm like this is like sacred quiet territory.
Speaker 2: Well, and I told Alan too, I think I said
Speaker 2: this too where I I'm pretty sure I did. Where
Speaker 2: when the baby comes, I still need to have our
Speaker 2: precious connection moments too, because I don't want that piece
Speaker 2: to us to be sleep deprived or edgy or snippy
Speaker 2: or like guys like are we just we have to
Speaker 2: have find a minute each day that's something that we
Speaker 2: can just kind of sit with each other because those
Speaker 2: moments just the other day when we had a crazy
Speaker 2: day and we were just passing, it's like, hey, let's
Speaker 2: sit for thirty minutes and have a conversation and keep
Speaker 2: that Like that, that's something that.
Speaker 3: I know I need from my overall postpartum. Yeah, like
Speaker 3: even this time, there will be times in the middle
Speaker 3: of the night where I'm feeding the baby and if
Speaker 3: Pressent's home, like you just get up and he's like
Speaker 3: you want me.
Speaker 5: To do it?
Speaker 3: Or he like rubs my back and that is enough
Speaker 3: for me just not you know, Like I.
Speaker 5: Wish I could send a text message, dudes, they're about
Speaker 5: to have.
Speaker 3: A baby, what would you say.
Speaker 5: I don't know exactly what I'd say. It depends if
Speaker 5: their wives are going to read it or not. But
Speaker 5: if the wives aren't reading it, I can't say it.
Speaker 5: So you know, I could text it to Alan, you
Speaker 5: could read it another day when I'm here.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, what would you say if we weren't here.
Speaker 5: Well, I mean, that's not real life. You are here,
Speaker 5: but I think now, no, okay, so let's just paraphrase
Speaker 5: in a nice, gentle way. You know, life's about to
Speaker 5: get a little bit crazier and you're going to need
Speaker 5: to be getting up in the middle of the night
Speaker 5: and doing your part. She's going to need to be
Speaker 5: feeling some extra love from you. I mean, chime in,
Speaker 5: boys whenever you're ready, because I'm on the spire.
Speaker 6: But you know, just.
Speaker 5: I always want to try to find ways that with
Speaker 5: you know, Troy Gentry told me this from Montgomery. Gentry
Speaker 5: got rest the soul. But you know, I just remember
Speaker 5: we were about to have a baby and he told me,
Speaker 5: he said, you've got to stay connected to your wife
Speaker 5: and it's not going to be as easy as you think.
Speaker 5: And I was like, oh man, we got this, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean. We had only been together a
Speaker 5: little while and I was like, a minute, yeah, we're
Speaker 5: so on fire. In love. This is this is gonna
Speaker 5: be easy. And I just went in one ear and
Speaker 5: out the other. But I think about that all the
Speaker 5: time now because I'm like, how true was that one
Speaker 5: sentence that he was trying to tell me? And now
Speaker 5: I see it, like I you know it. Sometimes it's
Speaker 5: still labors the love. Maybe it's just you know, an
Speaker 5: extra time with the dishwasher, doing the little things, washing
Speaker 5: the bottles when she just is so tired she don't
Speaker 5: feel like doing that, you know, and like all the
Speaker 5: little things that you definitely don't feel like doing, but
Speaker 5: you just do it because like she said, sometimes it's
Speaker 5: rubbing her back. Sometimes it's just a little kiss on
Speaker 5: the neck, just saying you've been awesome this you know
Speaker 5: today or you know tonight in the middle of the night,
Speaker 5: you know. And so because look, look she does all
Speaker 5: the heavy lifting. I ain't seeing the dirty die for
Speaker 5: this week. I mean, she is awesome. She does it
Speaker 5: all and she lets me sleep. I come off the road,
Speaker 5: I'm super tired, And you know I.
Speaker 3: Would I would steer away from using the term super tired. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm just being honest. That was one trigger.
Speaker 5: It's a different kind of tired.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I remember him coming home and he's like,
Speaker 3: I'm just really tired, and I thought, I bet you
Speaker 3: are really tired.
Speaker 5: However, you also have a unique situation.
Speaker 2: Yeah so yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that was one of
Speaker 2: the questions yeah too from a UH from UH. I
Speaker 2: did a poll and basically it was how his press
Speaker 2: and handle being a new dad and in the spotlight
Speaker 2: and on being on tour.
Speaker 5: That far is easy, man, We love being that.
Speaker 3: It's fun part.
Speaker 2: But when you come home and you say you're tired,
Speaker 2: and it's like Christens just like you don't know what
Speaker 2: tired is.
Speaker 5: And the kids have all drawn picked and they're waiting
Speaker 5: and they want to put it right in your face
Speaker 5: right when because I one thing that has changed for
Speaker 5: me is I take the last, the last flight out
Speaker 5: I can to leave, and then I take the earliest
Speaker 5: first flight I can to get home. And that's a
Speaker 5: different level of stress outside of the house that no
Speaker 5: one sees. Just trying to be home as much as
Speaker 5: you can, because it's just as it's hard to get
Speaker 5: the hours the other dads are getting. Like I'm trying
Speaker 5: to build my time up and I'm gone a lot,
Speaker 5: but I'm also not working a nine to five and
Speaker 5: home just every single night. That's kind of gone too
Speaker 5: in its own kind of way. So when I'm home,
Speaker 5: i'm home, and I get to write from home and
Speaker 5: it's cool. So I don't know, I think I think
Speaker 5: being on the road doesn't even weigh in as much
Speaker 5: as I mean, it's fun and I'm lucky. Chris, the
Speaker 5: guy I sing with, was a dad for I don't know,
Speaker 5: six seven years before I ever was, and he's a
Speaker 5: great dad. So fortunately I got a good example of
Speaker 5: someone who shows up as a dad, And had I
Speaker 5: been singing with somebody that wasn't like that, I might
Speaker 5: have had a worse example in a different influence. So
Speaker 5: I was ready for that, you know.
Speaker 3: Alan.
Speaker 2: One of the questions from the Q and A was
Speaker 2: what are you most nervous about being a new dad
Speaker 2: since it's been sixteen years?
Speaker 6: What my most nervous about? I think since it's been
Speaker 6: so long since twice sixteen, so it's been a lot
Speaker 6: of year since he was a tiny little baby, and
Speaker 6: I think it's just the I'm not nervous about anything,
Speaker 6: but it's just like looking at that tiny little thing
Speaker 6: up again. How you hold them and how you handle
Speaker 6: them and how you touch them and caress them. That
Speaker 6: seems so long ago that listen, nervous nothing. I'm not
Speaker 6: nervous about anything because I'm looking forward to it. I'm excited.
Speaker 6: But it's just been I mean it's been sixteen years.
Speaker 6: Like we were building what we were building the other night,
Speaker 6: that play and play, the pack and play, and then
Speaker 6: I forgot what that was.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and you'll never figure out how to put it together.
Speaker 8: Technology is not improved.
Speaker 6: It's actually easy, wasn't it.
Speaker 2: It was the attachment, The attachments were moving it because
Speaker 2: you remember.
Speaker 4: You had to do it in a certain order.
Speaker 5: It was your fault.
Speaker 6: You did it.
Speaker 3: You don't have any fears then.
Speaker 6: I mean the sword like Troy's Troy sixteen, he's grown up,
Speaker 6: Like I go to the gym with them. He's taller
Speaker 6: than me, like, so there's there's an element, an element
Speaker 6: where he's grown up. It's just how to to manage
Speaker 6: this tiny little thing.
Speaker 3: Again, can't handle Allen's first.
Speaker 5: Of all, the same body have trouble with the words
Speaker 5: six with this guy because everything he says is sexteen.
Speaker 5: I mean, it's been sixteen years since I had a
Speaker 5: baby and held one and then.
Speaker 8: He says a little different than you.
Speaker 5: He says things like sexteen and caressing and holding. I'm like,
Speaker 5: this is how the baby got in there?
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, speaking of your son, how people want to
Speaker 2: know how you manage having that distance and the back
Speaker 2: and forth between the UK and if you officially live
Speaker 2: here or not in what your.
Speaker 5: Honor UK baby?
Speaker 2: It's both dual citizenship awesome because he's Scottish.
Speaker 5: So both possibles. Are you having a baby here? Are
Speaker 5: we allowed to talk about this? Yeah? I don't know.
Speaker 5: So you're having a baby here, but it's halfway UK baby.
Speaker 3: Too, Well, he gets to have dual citizenship.
Speaker 8: We'll talk about that.
Speaker 5: I mean, if you're going into labor here and flying
Speaker 5: supersonic over there to have the baby, I could see
Speaker 5: dual and then time zones too. I mean, I'm gonna
Speaker 5: say this sounds like the baby's ours. This is a
Speaker 5: US A baby. Let's go back to the question and
Speaker 5: how I feel.
Speaker 2: Just the distance and how do you and and with
Speaker 2: that question is is having an older and a younger?
Speaker 3: Is that? How are you going to manage that?
Speaker 6: Okay, so the first thing is a distance. It's tough,
Speaker 6: but I mean, you know, I travel a lot anyway,
Speaker 6: but I go back once a month to spend proper
Speaker 6: time with Troy. So when I'm back there, it's me
Speaker 6: and him, whereas when historically when I see him, I'd
Speaker 6: maybe only see him for a day or two and
Speaker 6: then i'd be back at the football club. So in
Speaker 6: my head, I mean, it's difficult, it's really difficult. But
Speaker 6: the time that I spend with them now, for that
Speaker 6: week or five days whatever it is, it's obviously been
Speaker 6: less the last couple of months. The time that I
Speaker 6: get with them is like precious, concentrated me and him.
Speaker 6: So there's a power within that, and it it eases
Speaker 6: my mind with it a bit, so it makes it
Speaker 6: easier to manage. The second one was how will I
Speaker 6: manage having an odor m D and a younger one?
Speaker 6: Yet I think when you're a dad, you just your
Speaker 6: natural instincts kicking and you make them both feel safe
Speaker 6: and loved and kildful.
Speaker 2: Not just absolutely, and you do such a great job
Speaker 2: with that, you really do.
Speaker 3: It's yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah, Can I say one thing, I actually envy all
Speaker 7: y'all situation because it's like you're going to be forced
Speaker 7: to slow down a little bit. Yes, it's going to
Speaker 7: be crazy. Yes, it's going to be a hectic, but
Speaker 7: you're going to be forced to slow down because you
Speaker 7: have an infant. Like that would be awesome to be
Speaker 7: able to sit down on a couch with a baby
Speaker 7: for an hour. Like this week alone, we've had what softball, volleyball,
Speaker 7: cheer basketball, It's just every single day.
Speaker 4: It just gets so busy. That's so true.
Speaker 1: I've thought about that too, like it would be like,
Speaker 1: I think it's good to see that as a positive
Speaker 1: because I think I know for you you can see
Speaker 1: that kind of as a negative, like slowing down or whatever.
Speaker 1: But now looking at it, having fourteen, eleven and seven,
Speaker 1: I'm like, what precious time. Yeah, to just be able
Speaker 1: to sit and be with a baby, you know, like that's.
Speaker 5: I'm looking at this kid.
Speaker 1: I mean you saw the other kids and they're crazy
Speaker 1: and busy and all the things.
Speaker 4: But that would be be nice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, cool, and it is.
Speaker 2: That's a good perspective, just because I remember we were
Speaker 2: a dinner with a friend and she was saying, my
Speaker 2: kids are off now and I don't get to have that,
Speaker 2: and so it's like enjoy each moment that you do
Speaker 2: have and not try to rush it.
Speaker 3: Or I bubbled really really hard. This time, I did go.
Speaker 3: I did come back to wind down, probably faster than
Speaker 3: I should have because I don't know what I was saying,
Speaker 3: But I did take myself off. I mean I was
Speaker 3: like TBDLC everybody in like maybe August.
Speaker 4: We actually talked about that last night.
Speaker 1: Friends of ours were asking how you were doing and
Speaker 1: the baby was doing, and I mentioned that as like
Speaker 1: she's really hunkered down this time, and like, I'll envy that.
Speaker 4: That's great. I think it's been so good for you.
Speaker 5: It's not easy to do watching her do it either, sure,
Speaker 5: because people are kind, they're trying to get in there
Speaker 5: ran and she just wasn't having it.
Speaker 3: I just know how quick it goes. Yeah, And I
Speaker 3: prayed for that maybe for two years, you know, And
Speaker 3: I just I think it's going to feel that way
Speaker 3: to you too, that you you're older. Your perspective is
Speaker 3: different when you know it's your last, it's different.
Speaker 5: You know, there's a lot of wisdom in that.
Speaker 7: Just making sure to block that off, yeah, because that's
Speaker 7: precious time you're not going to get back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, speaking speaking of our speaking of our last babe,
Speaker 2: is this what was a question, is this our Is
Speaker 2: this our last kid?
Speaker 6: Is that someone else's question?
Speaker 3: That was.
Speaker 8: A question? It was important question.
Speaker 3: It was It was a question, is this is Are
Speaker 3: you guys are one and done?
Speaker 6: I would think so.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: So on that topic, he's not sure how he feels
Speaker 2: about getting circums up.
Speaker 5: To talk about that. I meant had a buck knife.
Speaker 5: We can take care of the real.
Speaker 2: So that was because I'm like, babe, if you don't
Speaker 2: get a sectomy, there's always a chance that it could
Speaker 2: happen again.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we are on that topic right now.
Speaker 5: I have no problem.
Speaker 4: He's all about it.
Speaker 5: He finds about it. It's such freedom. Oh, I can't wait.
Speaker 3: In the words of.
Speaker 8: Get it done.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they got a March Madness deal going with doctor Chopp.
Speaker 5: You've seen that.
Speaker 3: His name is doctor shop.
Speaker 5: His name is doctor Chop. His first name is Dick.
Speaker 3: Not kidding, doctor, I'm not lying.
Speaker 5: I google it doctor Dick Chopp, and he has a
Speaker 5: March Madness deal going and are both going. You can
Speaker 5: get it done and you put a back of peas
Speaker 5: on your junk and you just watch March Madness for
Speaker 5: a weekend.
Speaker 3: Oh that's okay. No, you don't get a vacation after.
Speaker 2: There is something about the time the tube tying thing
Speaker 2: though that I just and again, I don't ever want
Speaker 2: to carry another baby. I'll make that very clear right here.
Speaker 2: We both know mama is done. I'm done carrying children.
Speaker 5: You're basically smuggling a soccer ball is all you're doing
Speaker 5: right now. So she's so cute.
Speaker 2: But so that's that's very clear. I just the thought
Speaker 2: of taking and tying. I've heard things that it could
Speaker 2: be there's not there's side effects to tying tubes, but
Speaker 2: also to take away that I don't know.
Speaker 4: I'm not doing it.
Speaker 3: I don't know how I feel about it. I feel
Speaker 3: that way about it as sectomes actually like I don't,
Speaker 3: but you can, but you can easily.
Speaker 2: My brother sorry, no, he got a little a little
Speaker 2: needle that goes in your balls because to take out.
Speaker 5: The you know, oh, we're selling that if we do that,
Speaker 5: So because the.
Speaker 3: Tubes, you're done. Yeah, I could not do tubes. So
Speaker 3: the wheels have fallen off.
Speaker 5: Now we're selling it in straws.
Speaker 3: Okay, boiled boiled?
Speaker 4: Is that what you said? What did you sab.
Speaker 3: We need.
Speaker 5: And make a lot of money off that same I'm.
Speaker 2: Just gonna We're going to transition really fast. Please, how
Speaker 2: does it feel coming into the step parent role?
Speaker 6: Coming into it? It's something that I've done from a
Speaker 6: young age with Clothia, so I've been there, and yeah,
Speaker 6: the amazing kids, so it doesn't it.
Speaker 7: Would be hard if you came in with like undisciplined kids.
Speaker 7: I've always thought that'd be that'd be tough.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think the kids are. The kids are so
Speaker 6: well behaved and nice and pleasant that it makes it
Speaker 6: so much easier. Really, it really does. Like if they
Speaker 6: were problem children, then that would be tough. Sure, it'll
Speaker 6: be tough.
Speaker 2: And how much have you had to help Jana and
Speaker 2: the kids understand with your accent? And is Alan worried
Speaker 2: about his child becoming American accent?
Speaker 9: Wise? Daily Scottish lessons, Daily Scottish lessons, daily lessons, one
Speaker 9: hour a day, one hour.
Speaker 3: I do you get excited to see what he'll sound like? Honestly,
Speaker 3: he's going to probably sound sound pure American.
Speaker 6: Troy when Troy when when I live in California, North
Speaker 6: Carolina and California, Troy and Claudia, Troy ended up with
Speaker 6: an American accent. Hm, it's now you know Scottish, mostly English,
Speaker 6: no American in there, but they just did you. It's
Speaker 6: the surroundings, the friends.
Speaker 3: What will you do when he says to you, I
Speaker 3: want to snack. We're not going to Americanize him.
Speaker 5: We're going to Michigan or him.
Speaker 2: Alan, do you have the same respect for Mike as
Speaker 2: he does for you?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I've gett No, I've got no reason to like those.
Speaker 6: I don't disrespecting one. But he's a nice guy. He's
Speaker 6: pleasant to me, and I will always respect Mike if
Speaker 6: he respects you.
Speaker 5: Mhm, that's simple.
Speaker 2: Is Alan concerned that his Scottish traditions will be lost
Speaker 2: being in America?
Speaker 1: No Kish lessons, one hour a day?
Speaker 2: How does Alan feel about Janna having to be so
Speaker 2: public about her life on social media?
Speaker 3: How does Alan feel about that?
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's It's not something I'm used to, but it's
Speaker 6: something that I've adapted to. It's it can be tough
Speaker 6: at times because you hear me say you a lot,
Speaker 6: don't put that on Instagram, don't put that on social
Speaker 6: media because because your default is uploaded regardless of what
Speaker 6: it is.
Speaker 3: Alan with the Christmas lights in the bush whatever, He's like, yeah.
Speaker 6: Okay, but to be honest, though we have fun with it.
Speaker 8: We do.
Speaker 6: We have fun with it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the balance. Yeah, I think you've been
Speaker 3: more private this time. Yeah for sure.
Speaker 2: Okay, Parenting styles you disagree with your spell on and
Speaker 2: how do you handle it?
Speaker 3: Start with nick and cap.
Speaker 5: Oh, I am not touching this person.
Speaker 4: Parenting styles you disagree with.
Speaker 7: If you go back from the beginning, you know it
Speaker 7: was always we had the spanking.
Speaker 1: Which is funny because you would say it. I'm like,
Speaker 1: we are not spanking our kids, and he's like, I
Speaker 1: thought we weren't.
Speaker 4: That's all I can think about now.
Speaker 7: I think a lot of depends on the personality of
Speaker 7: your kid, you know what I mean, Like we we parent,
Speaker 7: I guess the same for all three for the most part,
Speaker 7: but each kid has a different personality, so you kind
Speaker 7: of there's a little more flexibility in leeway. Like we
Speaker 7: give our son probably way more freedom than I had
Speaker 7: at his age because he's such a mature kid.
Speaker 4: Okay, so that's where we disagree.
Speaker 3: That he's not mature.
Speaker 1: He is, but it's like he's starting to date and
Speaker 1: like I will question, like should he be able to
Speaker 1: do this? And it is just a blanket like, yes,
Speaker 1: you let him go with the girl, like no matter what,
Speaker 1: the like, no questions ask it. But I'm like, so
Speaker 1: you're gonna like your daughter do that? And he's like, no,
Speaker 1: you have.
Speaker 4: To treat them this.
Speaker 5: You do not No, you.
Speaker 4: Do not agreed a disagree?
Speaker 3: No, agree to move in with me?
Speaker 4: Kat Okay.
Speaker 2: Over to Christen and Preston. I know, mm hmmm parenting styles.
Speaker 2: Who disagree with your spouse on? How do you handle
Speaker 2: the disagreement?
Speaker 3: So Preston was raised really country redneck, like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I had him pick the switch. You had to go
Speaker 3: pick the switch, and which to.
Speaker 5: Get your own switch down? And if you brought it back?
Speaker 5: And what's a switch?
Speaker 3: Well, I call it a stick. If we're talking about sticks, Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's prby If it was so if traveling is so lost,
Speaker 3: you have to cut Yeah.
Speaker 5: So as she say you're trouble, go get your own switch,
Speaker 5: you're gonna get whooped with it. Here was the million
Speaker 5: dollar questions. So was it better to have a thicker one?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 5: If my if I if I brought the wrong switch home,
Speaker 5: because I would test it out in the woods, I'd
Speaker 5: be like, oh yeah I can handle this one. Now
Speaker 5: I bring it home. She'd be like, uh, nope, now
Speaker 5: you get double switches. And so if she had to
Speaker 5: go get the switch and bring it back, I got
Speaker 5: double switches.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I had to roll your jeans up. This is my
Speaker 5: mom would be in jail today. You had to roll
Speaker 5: your jeans up. Me and my brothers, all of us
Speaker 5: did it. I had to roll your jeans up to
Speaker 5: your knees. And then she would hold your shirt by
Speaker 5: the shoulder so you could or your mullet whatever she
Speaker 5: can get ahold of. You're about to be a wild
Speaker 5: pony right here, and so they get ahold of that
Speaker 5: thing wild. She she gets you on the back of
Speaker 5: the calf with it right.
Speaker 3: So, based on the success rate of how that all
Speaker 3: worked out for him and the three brothers, because one
Speaker 3: of three turned out fine and I married that one.
Speaker 3: Based on the success rate of the switch getting. My
Speaker 3: biggest thing is when it comes to parenting a boy,
Speaker 3: I don't I'm I am big into feelings and I
Speaker 3: don't need him. I want him to be a strong man,
Speaker 3: I want him to be a leader, I want him
Speaker 3: all the things. I just think that our society does
Speaker 3: not do a good job of letting boys also be
Speaker 3: human beings that feel.
Speaker 5: And meanwhile, while she's this is our I guess I'm
Speaker 5: tending to the masculinity and the testosterone it's coursing through
Speaker 5: his veins and he needs a man to step in
Speaker 5: and teach him how to control his emotions a little
Speaker 5: bit before he even speaks about his emotions, like it
Speaker 5: just rolls through his blood. He is a different from
Speaker 5: our little girl, and I see it, and if I
Speaker 5: don't use a different tone with him, like my voice
Speaker 5: has got to come on down a little bit. And
Speaker 5: then I see his head turn and then he starts
Speaker 5: to hear it and get it, and we talk about
Speaker 5: things and I don't I'm not really too tough with him,
Speaker 5: but you know, at first I'll be like, listen, you
Speaker 5: gotta listen to me, and then we kind of like,
Speaker 5: you know, debrief what we just went through.
Speaker 3: But I feel like that's new because I feel like,
Speaker 3: for a while, you're like, gotta get together, like it's
Speaker 3: just it was like this like shame trend, like get
Speaker 3: together and what do you do you know? And I
Speaker 3: was like, Okay, well he just was in my body
Speaker 3: five years ago. So that's where I have a different
Speaker 3: compassion for the court.
Speaker 7: Especially with the son is the older he gets, the
Speaker 7: more you'll start picking up on both sides of that.
Speaker 5: And I'm so easy with all of it until her
Speaker 5: top blows. When her top blows, then I it's my
Speaker 5: call to action. When I hear the tone hit, she
Speaker 5: storms out of the room or she says a certain phrase,
Speaker 5: and I'm like, and that's my cue. And then when
Speaker 5: I come in tough, then she comes running back to
Speaker 5: save the day, and that's frustrating.
Speaker 3: Well, we're trying to break that cycle right now.
Speaker 5: God's frustrating because she has blown her top. I'm coming
Speaker 5: in to handle business now and we're gonna get this
Speaker 5: together quick, and which I should have probably done to
Speaker 5: begin with, but I let her handle the feelings. Now
Speaker 5: now she's lost.
Speaker 3: It those for those that couldn't see that.
Speaker 5: She's lost it and headed out to the other part
Speaker 5: of the house and I'm in here dealing with things,
Speaker 5: you know, just grabbing.
Speaker 8: The mullet room.
Speaker 3: And how you think it goes down.
Speaker 5: The replay, Yeah, both those probably.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that appears to us though too.
Speaker 1: I'm like more of the disciplinarian and then I'll lose
Speaker 1: it and then I'll step out and then he'll come
Speaker 1: in I'm like, why are you going to be so
Speaker 1: hard on them?
Speaker 4: Even though and then I'll try.
Speaker 8: It, I'll admit it.
Speaker 1: I'll be the first to admit it, and I'll come
Speaker 1: back and want to save the day so I can
Speaker 1: even acknowledge that happens.
Speaker 2: What do you think is going to happen between us
Speaker 2: because we haven't really had to with because it was
Speaker 2: Julie and Jace. I'm obviously the more I mean, you
Speaker 2: will say, hey, don't do that, or but you don't
Speaker 2: really discipline them unless like maybe a few times when
Speaker 2: I've said it a million times, like listen to your
Speaker 2: mother and you have my back. Well, we've all you've
Speaker 2: had my back on all those things. So with now
Speaker 2: our boy, what are how do you think will parent
Speaker 2: and discipline together?
Speaker 3: What do you do you see an issue?
Speaker 2: Not an issue, but do you see something that could
Speaker 2: we could probably disagree on or not do the same
Speaker 2: that might cause a little frustration.
Speaker 6: I think it goes back to Preston's point where and
Speaker 6: you mentioned it as well, well, your parent your parent
Speaker 6: boys different to girls, and you're almost parent. There will
Speaker 6: be a part of my parenting will come from my
Speaker 6: dad and.
Speaker 3: Because you think I baby Jace. Yeah, I wish we
Speaker 3: had camera.
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm not even here.
Speaker 6: I think I will be the tougher one. And when
Speaker 6: I speak people, the kids will listen, and Roman will listen.
Speaker 6: But you you'll speak, You'll speak more. You'll speak more,
Speaker 6: and you'll try and discipline more. And like you said,
Speaker 6: you step cuting point.
Speaker 5: He also has a presence like.
Speaker 3: It makes me well.
Speaker 2: With that said, then are you gonna do you think
Speaker 2: you'll be the dad that lets the baby cry it out?
Speaker 2: Or are you going to because I think that's going
Speaker 2: to be our first challenge with the baby is I'm
Speaker 2: going to say, let the baby cry it out, and
Speaker 2: you're gonna want to go hold the baby. And I'm
Speaker 2: because I'm very strict with the sleep training. That's I've
Speaker 2: always been very strict with that and obviously don't let
Speaker 2: him cry out to it, you know, the crazy degree.
Speaker 2: But I'm also you had they have to comfort themselves
Speaker 2: at a certain point, and so would you go in
Speaker 2: and so I'm just curious where you were. Your softness
Speaker 2: with that will.
Speaker 6: Be Yeah, with stuff like that will probably be soft
Speaker 6: m hmm.
Speaker 2: I see I see you going in yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5: Good luck.
Speaker 7: When you looking back when we kids catching the baby wise,
Speaker 7: what does it saying, Oh, I've already.
Speaker 2: I'm already I'm the baby wise out. I'm already starting
Speaker 2: to print out the schedule like for each week like
Speaker 2: boom boom boom, boom boom.
Speaker 7: I will say, that'll make your life in the long run.
Speaker 7: It'll make it better, far better when you have it scheduled.
Speaker 3: Alan, call me when you want to be soft buddy,
Speaker 3: because I'm the softie. There's no crying it out, there's
Speaker 3: no schedule. There's just a lot of skin to getting
Speaker 3: to watch.
Speaker 5: I mean, like the wife's man, they have a language
Speaker 5: they can talk to the kids that nobody else can really.
Speaker 5: I mean, I don't know what it is. She can
Speaker 5: come in and save the day, and it's like, I
Speaker 5: don't know how she tapped into that little that little
Speaker 5: phrase that diffused the whole thing. But that's cool to
Speaker 5: watch and I learned from that all the time.
Speaker 2: Uh, the stress you feel as a dad that you
Speaker 2: don't want your wife to know.
Speaker 5: I think.
Speaker 7: Personalities come into play here. I've always had that personality
Speaker 7: of who want it done right?
Speaker 5: I got to do it now. I live with this whole.
Speaker 7: Oh my God, if I were to die tomorrow, everybody
Speaker 7: else is screwed. And that's not true, but that's that's
Speaker 7: kind of the stress we live in. You know, I
Speaker 7: have to take care of these three kids and her
Speaker 7: and if something happens to me, then my God was
Speaker 7: going to happen to them, And that's not exactly truth,
Speaker 7: but we kind of live with that that we are
Speaker 7: the provider role, which we are I believe, you know,
Speaker 7: that's how God called us to be the steward and
Speaker 7: take care of our families. But with that comes a
Speaker 7: lot of added stress, and that's probably that's always been
Speaker 7: a little bit of a conflict in my spiritual battle. Yes,
Speaker 7: I fully trust and rely on God. However I tend
Speaker 7: to act like it relies on me. Mm hmm, and
Speaker 7: I think that's.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 7: For me, that's definitely it is the being the provider
Speaker 7: and if I don't take care of things, they'll never
Speaker 7: get done.
Speaker 3: Allan mhm.
Speaker 6: Someone school full slight and think of it. That's more so.
Speaker 5: I don't understand the question.
Speaker 4: Nick got deep, Alan skipped.
Speaker 5: Say it again, but maybe slower or something. I don't know.
Speaker 2: The stress you feel as a dad that you don't
Speaker 2: want your wife to know about.
Speaker 5: I don't want my wife to know about.
Speaker 3: That she's about to find out about, man.
Speaker 5: I mean, I think she knows about all the stress
Speaker 5: I'm feeling. I don't think there's anything that I don't
Speaker 5: think there's any stress. I'm pretty transparent about what's going on.
Speaker 5: One thing, that one thing that I learned early on
Speaker 5: was like I was just always on the phone and
Speaker 5: dealing with whatever deals and songs and record deals and
Speaker 5: things just always always happening. And so I learned to
Speaker 5: like kind of take some things into the other room,
Speaker 5: make them a little bit more concise, a little bit quicker,
Speaker 5: and then get back to family time, you know what
Speaker 5: I mean. So I would I had the benefit of
Speaker 5: kind of dealing with all these deals at home, and
Speaker 5: so I try to I try to take that stress
Speaker 5: into the other room and don't let it come back
Speaker 5: into the other room. It took me a lot of
Speaker 5: years to do that, Like I would carry the stress
Speaker 5: back into the family time and then I would let
Speaker 5: and it still does. I mean, look was just real life.
Speaker 5: But I know for sure that I'm holding things back
Speaker 5: that I don't want to affect our time as a family,
Speaker 5: and I don't want to like my worry if man,
Speaker 5: the stress of losing a record deal or something like
Speaker 5: that that's a lot in this town. Or the stress
Speaker 5: of a song that's been cruising up the charts and
Speaker 5: now it's at thirty two and you just got a
Speaker 5: phone call that it's over. It's just done. The last
Speaker 5: nine months of your life is just for nothing in
Speaker 5: a sense, and you are really gambling on that thing
Speaker 5: to get to the top twenty or the top ten.
Speaker 5: Now I got to go in and take the kids
Speaker 5: to Chuck E Cheese and I'm like, everybody's having a
Speaker 5: good time, and I'm like, our song just died. It's
Speaker 5: like losing a part of you. And so there's like
Speaker 5: this grief that comes with like losing a song. I
Speaker 5: don't get to grieve over in front of anyone. And so,
Speaker 5: and we've had our share of losses, we've had our
Speaker 5: share of hits. We've had our share of losses. And
Speaker 5: those days when you lose a record dealer, you lose
Speaker 5: a song, or you lose some deal that was important
Speaker 5: to providing for your family in the long run. Man,
Speaker 5: you're just like, Wow, that's hard, you know, And that's
Speaker 5: like any that's probably all dudes in a different kind
Speaker 5: of business and in their situations, you know, with their jobs.
Speaker 5: So I think we you just have to turn that
Speaker 5: off and don't let that hang into your life, you know,
Speaker 5: and effect, because man, at the end of the day,
Speaker 5: the kids are the only thing that's going to make
Speaker 5: you feel better anyway. You know, the kids are. They
Speaker 5: love you. If you're living in a cardboard box or
Speaker 5: if you're you know, got the number one saw on
Speaker 5: the radio, it just doesn't matter to them. And that's
Speaker 5: the thing that you have to learn. It's tough.
Speaker 6: I think I think you're pretty good that I know
Speaker 6: when you're stressed, and you know when I'm stressed, and
Speaker 6: I think our communication is pretty good when it comes
Speaker 6: to things like that. So I don't know if those Yeah,
Speaker 6: you've got this stress that every father has of is
Speaker 6: your baby going to be healthy? Is it that you're
Speaker 6: going to be able to provide you for your kids
Speaker 6: and your wife and this and that. But I think
Speaker 6: you're pretty good at recognizing things. And then I'm now
Speaker 6: better at it because I would just go quiet, But
Speaker 6: you're you're good at bringing that out of me, whereas
Speaker 6: I don't so I don't really feel like I'm hiding
Speaker 6: any stresses. That makes sense because you know about my stresses.
Speaker 2: Yeah, lightning round for you boys, So just chime in
Speaker 2: when you can. Uh, what do you love most about
Speaker 2: your your lady.
Speaker 5: That she came back?
Speaker 3: Can you?
Speaker 5: I didn't know she left, but for that, My wife
Speaker 5: is a smoke show. I love it. Every day I
Speaker 5: try to tell her she's a smoke.
Speaker 6: So you're so, you're so thoughtful. Oh the thing so thoughtful?
Speaker 6: Smiles me up everything.
Speaker 3: You want to change your answers.
Speaker 5: No, actually, actually besides, I mean I love that she's
Speaker 5: so witty. I mean I would never have married my
Speaker 5: wife had she not just made me laugh so much.
Speaker 5: And from the minute we met, she had me you know,
Speaker 5: And I said, I like your jacket, and she turned
Speaker 5: out and said I like your face. Came over. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 5: here we go.
Speaker 2: Best part of parenthead, fatherhood, best part of fatherhood, this
Speaker 2: has actually happened recently, is when and this will happen
Speaker 2: when y'all's kids probably you know, get a little bit older.
Speaker 7: But I've had parents come to me and say, Wow,
Speaker 7: your kid is impressive, or he's so polite or she's
Speaker 7: so respectful or those are the things that really hits you,
Speaker 7: and you're like, okay, doing a good job.
Speaker 8: Didn't let them fall off the cliff. Okay, we're good.
Speaker 5: We're good. I like just doing our own haircuts at home.
Speaker 5: It's awesome, man, it's fun to like he's put a
Speaker 5: mullet and a mohawk together and just like do it.
Speaker 5: What do you call that? I don't know the legend
Speaker 5: of school. I just leaned over my wife the other day.
Speaker 5: We were first, want to send our kids to school
Speaker 5: with a mohawk and a mullet all it's all in one,
Speaker 5: you know, And and it looked like a nasty boy
Speaker 5: from back in the nineties, right. And the next thing,
Speaker 5: you know, we go to a school function the other day.
Speaker 5: This is a Christian school, and I leaned over and
Speaker 5: I said, all the little boys have legends of my cut.
Speaker 5: Now in here, we gotta think something else. Now we
Speaker 5: put vanilla ice lines in their next I think the
Speaker 5: rattail back.
Speaker 6: I like just looking at them and being proud of them.
Speaker 6: With Troy, how he's growing up and he's filtering football
Speaker 6: and he's dedication. Just looking at them and being pro
Speaker 6: to them, he's a good kid.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, I really really enjoyed the time we spent together.
Speaker 3: Do you guys listen to the podcast? Can you insert crickets? Here?
Speaker 2: Is?
Speaker 6: This?
Speaker 5: Is this my wife's question, This is a fan question.
Speaker 5: I don't listen to podcasts. I don't. I don't listen
Speaker 5: to any podcasts.
Speaker 3: You don't even listen to your podcast?
Speaker 6: I do some.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean I'm not a P one listener. You know,
Speaker 7: I'm not every single episode.
Speaker 3: I can appreciate that term.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but yeah, I listened to itally.
Speaker 2: Does Alan eat any other cheese? Does Alan eat any cheese?
Speaker 5: She changed it?
Speaker 3: No tomatoes, no better. What do you guys think of queendom?
Speaker 5: I mean, can I just be straight up? I have
Speaker 5: no idea what queen the miss? Oh? Okay, well that's
Speaker 5: probably good. It's probably good thing that you have girls
Speaker 5: have a group text thing going. I've always liked it.
Speaker 7: You know, that kind of bounce ideas off each other
Speaker 7: and do your little thing.
Speaker 5: And I don't involved.
Speaker 3: Are you going to wear a kilt to the wedding?
Speaker 9: Oh?
Speaker 5: What a kilt? We're wearing kilts to this thing.
Speaker 7: I am ridiculously excited about wearing a kid wearing.
Speaker 5: Are you wearing one?
Speaker 6: I think so we all are elean.
Speaker 3: Are you wearing a kilt?
Speaker 6: Undecided?
Speaker 5: Undecided? Can I wear one? Regardless?
Speaker 3: You can't wear kilt questions.
Speaker 5: I just have one more question about the skirt. So,
Speaker 5: like with the kilt, do you wear what do you
Speaker 5: wear from the knees down?
Speaker 6: You wear like ankle sock so you can listen. There's
Speaker 6: different stateles, but you're supposed to traditionally you're supposed to
Speaker 6: be a socks that come up to and.
Speaker 5: What kind of shoes cowboy.
Speaker 6: Boots you can put your own?
Speaker 5: You put your own twist. I kind of like that. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I'm wearing a kilt.
Speaker 2: What is something not clothing? What is something not clothing
Speaker 2: that you hope will make a comeback in twenty twenty four?
Speaker 2: Clothing not clothing that you hope will make a comeback
Speaker 2: in twenty twenty four?
Speaker 3: Mm watch yourself next?
Speaker 8: Did so?
Speaker 5: I'm happy over here?
Speaker 3: We got it about that vasectomy anything?
Speaker 2: No, Alan people want to know, are you going to
Speaker 2: watch the delivery? And are you nervous?
Speaker 6: I'm not nervous. No, I watch it. I won't watch
Speaker 6: the incision. I won't watch that. You know it was
Speaker 6: like a few days ago when the woman's putting a
Speaker 6: needle and you needles two, that's you.
Speaker 3: He looks like telling the nurse and you're not putting
Speaker 3: that in.
Speaker 5: Scared.
Speaker 6: Yeah, So I won't watch the incision and like I,
Speaker 6: like I said to you a couple of days ago,
Speaker 6: I will. My biggest thing is I need to make
Speaker 6: sure you can focus on me and I focus on you,
Speaker 6: so you don't need to focus on what's going on
Speaker 6: now with my legs.
Speaker 7: That's what I learned in the delivery rooms. Just don't
Speaker 7: be a liability.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, yeah, I absolutely love the delivery room.
Speaker 3: This guy.
Speaker 2: All right, And as we wrap up, As we wrap up,
Speaker 2: what is one piece of advice that you want to
Speaker 2: give to the listeners as a partner, Christ I'm.
Speaker 5: Gonna let my wife give this.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, this is for the men that this
Speaker 3: is ment only.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna be honest. My wife gives me all my
Speaker 5: good words. Man, she's so good with words.
Speaker 3: So you'd like me to write this quote for you?
Speaker 5: You text me real quick while everybody else is answering,
Speaker 5: I'll go last.
Speaker 2: I'm going on basically, what is the best piece of
Speaker 2: advice either as you know, for relationally, fatherhood wise, or
Speaker 2: just something that you.
Speaker 3: That you've received or that okay, then pressing fun.
Speaker 5: It's not always easy, but it's always amazing. No matter
Speaker 5: what the day brings. It could be the toughest day,
Speaker 5: but at the end of the day, you're in the
Speaker 5: most amazing moments of your life and they're fleeting in
Speaker 5: a snap of a finger. They're going to be two,
Speaker 5: somebody told me, and I never believed when we had
Speaker 5: our first kid, when Love was first born. Tim Richards,
Speaker 5: the radio guy in Phoenix, he called me up and
Speaker 5: he said, pressing the first six months is going to
Speaker 5: feel like ten years, and six to one is going
Speaker 5: to feel like five years, and one to three is
Speaker 5: going to feel like two years. And then all of
Speaker 5: a sudden, everything is like five minutes from there out.
Speaker 5: And he was like, it's just gonna it's just going
Speaker 5: to take off like a rocket and it's all going
Speaker 5: to be a snap of a finger. I know you
Speaker 5: guys are in it right now what you said about
Speaker 5: all the different events, But before you know it, they're
Speaker 5: all going to be in school someplace and you're gonna
Speaker 5: be like wishing you could go to the soccer game
Speaker 5: and the cheerleading in and dance and so sometow somehow
Speaker 5: embrace that, you know. I mean, it's not easy. We
Speaker 5: got to be everywhere at once, but nxs.
Speaker 7: Just you're gonna have highs, You're gonna have lows. Just
Speaker 7: never give up. You just you never know what's right
Speaker 7: around the corner. And learn from your past mistakes, walking
Speaker 7: each day with more wisdom.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 7: Don't don't let something you've gone through in the past
Speaker 7: not prepare you for the future. If that makes sense.
Speaker 7: There's wisdom and everything. And it took me to my
Speaker 7: age now to kind of realize that. So now I'm
Speaker 7: kind of looking back on things that we may have
Speaker 7: gone through in the past and Okay, what could I
Speaker 7: have learned from those moments.
Speaker 5: That may have prepared me better?
Speaker 7: In presence, man, just be present, Be present for your kids,
Speaker 7: be present for your your spouse. And that's tough, especially
Speaker 7: with you know, careers like we have. It's it's never on,
Speaker 7: I'm saying, fully on, never off. So you always have
Speaker 7: to make that time.
Speaker 5: For your relationship.
Speaker 6: How do I follow PASTA.
Speaker 5: I jumped in real quick because I thought about that.
Speaker 6: Every phrase mindfulness, present.
Speaker 4: That's how I feel about girls.
Speaker 2: People just want to hear you talk anyways. So it's
Speaker 2: it's a twinkled twinkle little.
Speaker 5: Star, I think.
Speaker 6: I think it's and this comes with maturity as well.
Speaker 6: I think just recognizing because I was guilty when I
Speaker 6: was when I was a young father with Troy, like
Speaker 6: I was a professional footballer, and a lot of it
Speaker 6: had to be about my match day on a Saturday.
Speaker 6: How do how do I get what I need? And
Speaker 6: and as you mature, obviously Troy is older now and
Speaker 6: the baby's on its way, but as you mature, it's
Speaker 6: almost like what's best for everyone?
Speaker 3: Mhm.
Speaker 6: You need to take care of what you need as
Speaker 6: a man and as a father, and but what's best
Speaker 6: for what's what's the best thing for everyone?
Speaker 2: It's almost like that piece of selfishness is not there. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's beautiful. Well, boys, we appreciate you. Thank you for
Speaker 2: coming on. And this is fun.
Speaker 3: Let's uh, this is let's go have a baby.
Speaker 5: It's happening and minute, let's go have a baby.
Speaker 2: All right, guys, Well, thank you for coming on. We
Speaker 2: really appreciate you. Any last words, Kristin, You're always good
Speaker 2: with the last.
Speaker 3: Word in closing, I just think it's really important in
Speaker 3: parenthood and marriage, relationships, friendships, anything, just to say what
Speaker 3: you want, what you need, and what you feel. And
Speaker 3: I think that we can't expect anyone to understand what
Speaker 3: we need or predict what we need without vocalizing it.
Speaker 3: I think that has been a game changer for us
Speaker 3: as parents and in our marriage. Is just me saying
Speaker 3: I need more help in the mornings. I need to
Speaker 3: date you. I need to feel like a girlfriend. That's
Speaker 3: recently been a big one. So I just think if
Speaker 3: we all just communicate a little more, then I think
Speaker 3: it solves a lot of problems. Nobody's a mind reader,
Speaker 3: and especially when you're not sleeping, postpartum depression and anxiety
Speaker 3: are a real thing. If you feel like you're too
Speaker 3: low or too anxious, you need to talk to a
Speaker 3: healthcare provider or counselor don't be afraid to admit it
Speaker 3: is the most common of all things. And you don't
Speaker 3: lose any mom credibility by having those two things.
Speaker 2: Amen, all right, see you next week. I'm the kind
Speaker 2: of three one, two three, Bye
Speaker 8: H